Who’s the boss?

So, I’ve been talking about how Victor, Hailey and I are having a contest to see who has the geekiest costume this year.  You’ve seen me and Hailey, but today you get to see Victor wearing the costume he’s wanted since he was seven years old.  

A storm trooper.

And as an added surprise I decided to change my costume at the last minute.  Victor was not prepared.

That's right, motherfucker. I'm your damn boss.

Victor tried to contest that a ridiculous Darth Vadar dress was no match for a real storm trooper costume, but then I did the Force Grip.

No one argues with the Force Grip.

In the end though, I suspect Victor wins this round.  His costume is in like 25 pieces and putting him together is like a giant, annoyed, human jigsaw puzzle.  Also, it’s no surprise that (spoiler alert) the Empire lost because it took two of us and 20 minutes of snapping, velcroing and screaming at each other just to get the damn costume on, and then when he was fully dressed I realized that he could barely move in it and that if I knocked him over he’d be like a helpless turtle on his back.  In fact, he can’t even get undressed without me so I’m making him stay in costume until Hailey’s bus drives up because I think it would be awesome for her to have a storm trooper escort her from the bus.  She might disagree, but I doubt it.  She’s ours, after all.

Happy Halloween, y’all.

thebloggess.com

286 thoughts on “Who’s the boss?

Read comments below or add one.

  1. If you had her dressed as an Ewok, that would make the BEST FAMILY PHOTO EVER!!! (I’m not that big of a Star Wars geek, but I appreciate group theme costumes) 🙂

  2. Aw man! Can Victor come up to Dallas and escort my daughters out of school. I’m POSITIVE they would think it was the greatest thing ever.

  3. That’s awesome. We’re also doing Star Wars for Halloween this year, because the 2 year old told us that he wanted to be Darth Vader and wanted Daddy to be a Stormtrooper.

  4. These aren’t the droids your looking for!

    I just love the costume’s, wish I could get my husband in on the fun. Love your blog. Keep up the great work.

  5. THAT is epic.
    Btw, nice legs. Not in an “Oooh hey baby” sorta way, but in an “Damn, you won the genetic lottery on legs, girl!” kinda way.

  6. I dressed my cat, Snarf (a persian squished faxed tabby colored kitty who’s tongue always sticks out) as an Ewok. All you need is a brown tee shirt you’re willing to cut up, and a cat. Please please please dress your cats as Ewoks for us and take more photos! Just a thought. No pressure. (I can send you photos of Snarf the Ewok if you wanted as well).

  7. I saw another storm trooper costume today, and he said that he had to have it all manufactured specially for him because there are no official storm trooper costumes. Now I’m curious how you guys got your hands on one!

  8. That is the most fantastic thing ever. Also – thank you for the info on the pita of assembling a StormTrooper. I shall make hubby aware of this should he ever decide he needs a suit.

  9. You look great in the new costume & I suspect you still like to bake souffles.

    Happy Halloween!

  10. You look fantastic! And my daughter is Lady Darth Vader, as well. Last year she was Wonder Woman and the year before that Princess Leia. We’re very proud.

  11. I think you didn’t play by the rules. But, if you were to play by the rules, you might not win, and I think you won. Also, I totally would want a storm trooper to escort me home. Why not.

    Will the cats be tiny ewoks?

  12. LOVE IT – make sure to get a pic of her face as she exits the bus into the arms of the Storm Trooper LOL – have fun 🙂

  13. Awesome costumes. And great photo storytelling. I hope you get a photo of Hailey’s expression when she sees Victor.

  14. Victor wins, that is awesome. Although we have a light sabre we keep under the bed, I think I gotta get the hubs one of these. Storm troopers used to scare the shit out of me when I was a kid.

  15. Please tell us where you got your dress (and the cape)!!! And being escorted from the bus by a storm trooper has to be the best ending of a school day ever, well except for maybe being escorted off the school bus by the Doctor.

  16. Your Vader dress is adorable, and you look FANTASTIC in it. Way better than Mr. I-can’t-even-go-to-the-bathroom-without-removing-my-plastic-codpiece.

  17. You have to hum the Star Wars theme when y’all walk back from the bus stop. I’m totally making light saber sounds in my cubicle while looking at your photos.

  18. Awesome costumes! Though the storm trooper one sounds complicated and restricting, no wonder they couldn’t shoot the broad side of a bantha.

  19. I love all three costumes, and (this is coming from a girl who walked down the aisle to the Imperial March and left the church to the Star Wars main theme song) as much as I love the stormtrooper costumer… since the quest was for the geekiest costume, the award must go to you as the oh, so adorable… yet extremely deadly dalek!

  20. The Hubs and I are going as 10 and the TARDIS. Me being the TARDIS because I’m pretty sure David Tennant has never been pregnant. Hailey wins, because she’s so damned cute.

  21. LOVE this!!!! Today I dressed up as The Doctor (number 11 because fezzes and bowties are cool!) and since I work at an elem school in the afternoon and a high school in the morning, I took candy with me. Anyone who could identify me received a piece of candy! (And there was much googling going on all morning!! But to my surprise, several kids DID know me right away!)

  22. I didn’t know it was possible to love Halloween more than I already did, but thanks to you guys, I’ve discovered that I can. So. Fantastic. I’m actually giddy with how cool this photo shoot is.

  23. I would love to have a Storm Trooper pick me up from the bus! In fact, can he be in Austin in three hours? I think you are both adorable and that last photo needs to be your Christmas card.

  24. YOU are the boss no matter what you wear. If he disagrees, use super glue on that costume.

    As someone with IBS, I have to know, how long does it take him to get out of it?

  25. It really is the most awesome costume ever. I’d walk around work just stopping and staring at people to see what they would do.

    Better yet, run down the hallway and see if anyone peeks to see what is going on!

  26. Oh I love this so much! I always wanted to be a Stormtrooper too! And love your Vader dress!! You two are beyond awesome. Happy Halloween!

  27. I figured that once you got that whole getup on him, he would say he had to pee! (cuz really men are just big toddlers most of the time, right?) Happy Samhain!!!

  28. Hailey’s photography skills are amazing! 😀 (Who took the pictures if you’re in them? So curious!)

    (My friend Elisha came over to take them. She’s awesome. ~ Jenny)

  29. This is FAB!!! You should use his costume as a threat from now on – “Don’t you make me dress you up as a Storm Trooper…”

  30. Oh my! Is he movie accurate and everything? If so, he can join the 501st and do all sorts of geeky Star Wars appearances just for fun.

    Don’t ask me how I know this.

    (He’s movie accurate. I expect he’ll be appearing at Children’s Hospitals soon. Except that he hates germs and isn’t fond of other peoples children. He likes the costume though. ~ Jenny)

  31. I now have Super Trouper from Abba stuck in my head.
    I’m not sure whether to thank you or be mad.
    Either way, costumes look great!

  32. OMG I love it! And I would totally do the same thing to my husband if I had a kid who rides a bus. Except in my case it’d be Iron Man. Where did you get/how did you make the Trooper costume and do they have others?!

  33. Dear Jenny,

    I heart you so hard right now! I loved your first costume, but the second one is my FAVORITE!! LONG LIVE DARTH VADER!!!!!!

  34. I’m overcome with the the awesome that is your family. I’m so glad I got to see it before I leave for LAX! Tell Victor “thanks” for me. He’s such a sport!

  35. Yes, you are all geeky but I love it so much.

    PS…I would kill for your legs…you look so fabulous!

  36. Can we be best friends. My husband and I are going to be Han Solo and Chewbacca. We would make an awesome foursome. Also, my husband will be totally jealous when I show this to him. He’s been wanting a Stormtrooper costume for-EVER!

  37. I hope you got pictures of him escorting Hailey off the bus because the faces she makes are priceless and I can only imagine all her friends saying “your parents rock”…. so um yea I really love Halloween and Plan on picking my 12 yr old daughter up in full costume!

  38. Love the way you are standing in that last picture. It’s a very Vader as showgirl pose you’re striking with your leg. I can see the choreography now, but with light sabres instead of fans. Although that would be a little too revealing, on second thoughts. Anyway, you look like a dancer.

  39. damn. If only you lived closer and I could get the child’s darth vader costume to you so Hailey could wear it. Then it would be the trifecta, the hat trick, the creme de la star wars creme of halloween costumes. ~sigh~

  40. Wonderful costumes for all the humans, but I still think the cats win… again… (because cats ALWAYS win). Happy Halloween!

  41. OMG that’s fantastic. Well done Victor! Love it. You would think that your description of getting him ready would take the magic out of it, but I think it actually made it more magical. You guys are awesome, thank you for sharing that with us!

  42. I love how it looks like you’re not done with him and that he looks as if he is murmuring under that contraption, “If I don’t hold my legs out and away from my futuristic cod piece, I’ll storm my own troops.”

  43. That’s right. Torment her now, when she’s young. She won’t put up with it later but she’ll have something to talk to her therapist about. (When our daughter was 6, we tol dher that family tradition dictitated that we’d barbecue her on her 7th birthday. Imagine our surprise when she believed us!

  44. Victor definitely wins, big time. (Why do I have this picture in my mind of the little kid who whines they have to go potty after you just spent 20 minutes getting them dressed to go play outside?)

  45. Um, so how does he pee? Is there a flap or something or do you have to take him to the bathroom like a toddler?

    I think all of your costumes are completely awesome and I hope you have a very Happy Halloween.

  46. So awesome! And you look AMAZING!! So happy for you to be able to stop taking the steroids and lose the pounds it forced on you 🙂

  47. I dig the last minute decision to change your costume, but I dig it even more because A)I do that almost every year B)You made Victor your bitch C)It’s just AWESOME!
    Happy Halloween!

  48. Excellent. I love a good nerdy costume! I have “had to” or am going to dress up this year on 3 separate occasions and I am happy to report that each time I was a character from different books I love and a lot of people were confused but its cool. I loved it.

  49. Oh, please let us know how Hailey reacts!! That’s so awesome. (But I still think the Tardis dress was far geekier.)

  50. OMG. There is a Darth Vader dress!!! Looooooove it!
    Hailey is going to be the coolest kid in the bus.

  51. Fuck. Victor is living my dream. With regard to the storm trooper costume, not you as his boss. Sorry, I adore you, but….

  52. I was having a crappy day, but this made me smile. Thanks for saving my Halloween. It’s usually my favorite, but things happen. That’s ok, though, because part of it being my favorite is that I can have a crappy one and not feel as though I’m failing at life. (I’m looking at you, Christmas.)

  53. Stormtrooper, and Lady Vader = geeky awesome

    also,you have like the awesomest front porch ever

  54. Love this so much. And the whole thing with not being able to move once the costumes on? That’s why they had a Stormtrooper Olympics when we went to one of the Star Wars Celebration events. Try doing an obstacle course in that thing. Truthfully, it’s amazing the Empire managed as well as they did, given how hard it is to do anything in their uniforms. Seriously. And why didn’t the rebels take over sooner? Running around in jumpsuits? Way easier.

  55. You guys look SO incredible!! I hope you all have so much fun today!!! I have to say, along with all the others, you have FANTASTIC legs, Jenny (as one envious gal to another). You should totally wear short skirts all the time. I give Victor a ton of credit, too—that costume is so complicated but so cool!

  56. All the boys will die seeing her get a stormtrooper escort from the bus.

    Oh, and somewhat healthier “remission” Jenny is lookin’ good.

  57. Jenny, you have great legs! WootWoot!

    Costumes are awesome, too.

    Happy Halloween, Ya’ll.

  58. Haha, I want to come live in your neighborhood just so I can witness the photo shenanigans that go on in your yard. You guys are all super nerds, and I love you for that. 🙂

  59. Tell him he might as well put the laser gun down. As a storm trooper, he won’t be able to hit the side of a barn from a foot away. Happy Halloween to all.

  60. I think I have to give it to Haley. Originality, geeky, plus she had have other kids and friends opinions.

  61. You and your family are all kinds of awesome. Thank you for brightening my day! Happy Halloween 🙂

  62. Looking good! Here in England, no-one has knocked on our door and I’m sitting on the couch in my sweatpants after a busy day at work. Your way sounds like more fun!

    (Though I did have a Halloween-esque little cocktail party last saturday, so that’s something…)

  63. My 13 yr old daughter has the SAME costume – not the storm trooper…the bad-ass Darth Vader Dress! Your pics have just validated her costume choice for her in a big way – Thanks! and happy halloween

  64. Lovely Pins Jenny (thats Australian for Legs). Cant wait to take you for a Surf Lesson. Last one was Paris Hilton. Have Photo

  65. Are you kidding me?!?! This is beyond amazing. If Haley DOESN’T think it’s awesome to have a Storm Trooper picking her up, I’d have her checked for alien body takeover situation, because we all know you wouldn’t have raised her that way. 😛

  66. Okay, first of all…you’ve lost weight…you look amazing. Second of all, unless you fall out of your suit to reveal a Tardis…this thing can still get nerdier.

  67. You all win at Halloween. Do you have to help Victor remove a good portion of the costume every time he needs to use the bathroom? I wish I could have seen you dressing him, it sounds like it was pretty funny, you know, for us just watching at home.

    Happy Halloween!

  68. I have to admit, Victor does totally win. The only thing that would beat a full Storm Trooper costume is a head to toe Darth Vader costume. I’m a Star Wars geek (along with LOTR and Star Trek) so, yeah. 🙂

  69. That’s right, motherfucker. I’m your damn boss.

    Bwahahahaha!!!!

    May The Force be with you…Always.

  70. My husband is Frankenstein every year. And I adore your pose in the last photo. You’re rockin’ that costume. ALMOST as good as Victor’s 😉

  71. I lovelovelovelovelovelove love it. I’m also pretty jazzed about the black pumpkin up front and center. Great job, Jenny.

  72. I still think your Oswin costume was geekier and therefore cooler (esp now that I’ve finally watched that episode!), but I can’t argue with a Darth Vader dress. You both look great!

  73. Thanks to target’s motion sensor doors my 6 year believes he’s been using the force since he was two. He would have been beside himself if we picked him up from the bus stop in Star Wars costumes. I bet she loved it.

  74. Admit it, you two have had these costumes for years. This is just the first time they’re seeing the light of day. If you get my meaning.

    Not that there’s anything wrong there. Rock it, you nerds. That’s one of the many reasons we love you.

  75. That looks like one of those costumes where you don’t dare drink anything because going to the toilet is a complete impossibility without assistance.

  76. At first I was like Aww Jenny changed her costume, then I saw the rest of the blog post and was like OMG freaking awesome.

  77. LGFJYGUJXFKGJUYKIGUKYGYF THAT IS SO AWESOME.

    And I’m not even a Star Wars fan. XD But boy does getting that costume on and off sound like fun!

  78. My son was a clone trooper for Halloween this year. In a costume I made myself. Which required loads of cardboard, spray paint, and duct tape. I feel your pain.

    And yes, I vote that Victor wins. But I love that you changed to Darth Vadar. And my son (who is almost 9) would have LOVED to have a storm trooper escort him off the bus.

  79. Haha wow– I am impressed by the Storm Trooper outfit. Looks legit. I could never be so daring with my teensy little bladder though… I’d be unvelcroing myself out every half hour.

  80. I have to say that I had never thought about the complexities of a storm trooper costume before. But maybe it’s because I’m not geeky enough hahaha. Great photos – hope you have a great Halloween!

  81. Victor is wearing a codpiece! Kinky! At first I couldn’t think of what those weenie cover/enhancers are called but I strained my brain and then checked Wikipedia to make sure. One of the more entertaining topics I’ve researched this week. Anyway, rowrrrrr, Victor.

  82. I don’t know about your daughter, but I would have loved it if my parents had done something like that for me on Halloween! Hope you guys had fun

  83. Brilliant! You two are the most bad assed people in the world. Yay for Victor finally getting his Trooper on.
    Thank you for sharing your life with us. I am starting my Friday with a huge grin because of these pictures. May the Force always be with you

  84. Does anyone else think storm trooper helmets look like demented smiling ghost frogs? Just wondering….

  85. Great Family fun!!!! But one small point of Geekism. . . You are not Darth Vader but rather the Evil Emperor of the darkside. Darth baby had face cover which if you think about it really does make you the greatest power in the Universe.

  86. There’s a guy here in Yorkshire who so far as I can tell makes a living standing in the street in a Stormtrooper outfit. He has a couple of zap guns so people can pose for pictures taking him hostage.

  87. You really need to see Jen (of Cake Wrecks fame)’s Lady Vader costume on her other blog epbot, somewhere in it’s archives. Let’s just say, “hot steampunk female vader with cleavage,” and leave it at that.

  88. We only got a few trick-or-treaters because it was raining something awful. Those kids were dedicated, so they got huge handfuls of candy.

  89. Now I’m left with an image of VictorStormTrooper on his back calling out “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”
    Like a first-time renfaire tourist talked into trying FULL Elizabethan…

  90. @Kate Moir Would you believe last night I just met another cat named Snarf!? Theirs is gray.
    Is there some deep dark meaning to calling them that!?

  91. I was oggling that dress on thinkgeek but I would not look so charming in it as Jenny does so I did not get it.
    Oh bother I’ve got to get back to my salt mine. CorporateOverlord(TM) is going to be peeved if I take any more of a coffee break!

  92. Love it. My son was Darth Vader again this year, because the little tycoon figured out that Mom would give him the costume budget if he re-wore last year’s costume (which he didn’t get to wear mcuh anyway due to Hurricane Sandy). I did get to wear the Vader mask at a Halloween party when the guy went outside to play basketball. My son was not amused upon his return to find me wearing the mask, along with my prom dress costume. “What? Can’t a Dark Lord go to the prom, too?”

    I am not allowed to attend next year’s Halloween party with my son.

  93. I thank Amy Balot at Etsy for making sure the one essential element of my costume arrived safely: My PsiCorps badge. The black suit, black shirt, belt, and gloves I managed to get at North Lamar’s Goodwill for under 25 for everything, so I could play through my shift at Northstar Goodwill in full geek drag. I guess it counts as geek win that nobody, not one single person, knew what I was “supposed to be.”

  94. I didn’t even know they MADE Darth Vader DRESSES!!! I have one of the cheapie kid jumpsuit Vader costumes that I got on close-out. I wore it with the helmet driving my kids to school. Kind of freaked out the other people on the freeway.

  95. I F*ING LOVE IT!!!!!

    If I was a kid, I’d want you two to be my parents…at least at Halloween!

  96. I saw this in one of our UK newspapers & thought immediately of you!
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2483491/A-Whos-Who-Doctor-Who-Adorable-little-girl-insists-dressing-11-different-Time-Lords-family-Halloween-photo-shoot.html

    You rock Bloggess! Huge fangirl of yours! Actually woke hubby up while reading your book in bed as I was laughing so hard, albeit almost silently, I was actually shaking the bed! Being asked “what’s so funny? What the hell are you doing?!” at 3am & trying to explain through snorts ” huge metal chicken…knock knock motherfucker…taxidermied mice ….bwahahahahah!!” I’m sure he thought I was sleep talking or speaking in tongues! Good times..good times.
    Love & kisses from England x

  97. That costume is like the Halloween equivalent of the little kid from A Christmas Story – “I can’t put my arms down!” Seriously though, that is great commitment on the part of Victor.

  98. Rosemary’s baby! I was alone babysitting at age 10, and that’s what was playing when I turned on the TV after the kids went to bed. I’ll never forget it. Also Jaws came out when I lived in Florida in my teens. Like the typical invincible teenager, I used to swim out so far that the helicopter would start patrolling. After Jaws, I sat on the sand bar with the babies, where the water didn’t even reach my knees, and most importantly was transparent. I still hear that music every time I see a shark. I can’t watch horror movies or read anything by Stephen King. The video above is mysteriously missing at the moment-probably a good thing. I’m reading this on my phone-maybe an Apple issue? Or your website is haunted and messing with me. I love your Halloween costumes! I’m certain that Victor picking Hailey up wearing his was the highlight of her day.

  99. Happy Halloween! I totally wanted everyone in my family to dress up in Star Wars costumes. But alas, only my little guy willingly wanted to be Darth Vader. There is always next year.

  100. Some *husbands* took this stormtrooper thing to this level….they were invited to the Rose Bowl parade and spent a week training — and goofing off (as the video shows).
    Yes–that is MY husband. Aka TK465–Sandtrooper who falls alot.

    Enjoy

  101. So do you think that the Stormtroopers get dressed at work or do they have Mrs. Stormtroop help them every morning, hence insuring a huge fight. Maybe the reason they are all such horrible marksmen is because they are all upset from the early morning argument with their wives.

  102. I just CANNOT express how much I love you. Thank you for sharing all of your wacky and wonderful adventures with us.

  103. Yay, Victor! I’m totally with him – Stormtrooper is high on my list of desired costumes and has been forever. But, well, it’s 25 pieces and I don’t have that kind of patience. I’d make a terrible Stormtrooper. Plus I have boobs, which would have been one terrible clone of Jango Fett, or possibly a clone who decided that she was uncomfortable in the body that she was cloned in and did something about it, and really passing out candy at Halloween is not the best time for a lengthy explanation of the difficulty of being transsexual in the Empire.

    But I have dressed as Princess Leia multiple times in my life, including for a Disney-Princess themed bachelorette party. (Btw, that event brought whole new meaning to “One Day My Prince Will Come”). Leia kicks ass and takes names! She was one of my personal heroes when I was a kid. And her costume is only four pieces: Dress, go-go boots, belt, bagels.

  104. It is a known truth that the more complicated and confining the costume, the more urgently you will have to pee once the last snap is in place. Kind of like kids in snow suits. But the storm trooper costume is totally awesome. I would be disappointed if Victor did not meet the bus in it.

  105. Sorry to Victor but I have to go with Dalek Oswin for the Geek win (because I like DW and you tied in the souffle thing so it’s like crossover cool). Haley’s would be second. Those show creativity and thought. He just bought a costume of the interwebs. Not even close.

  106. I know a couple people have already said this but I had to delurk to say: HOLY COW WOMAN, YOU GOT SOME LEGS! *wolf whistle*

  107. Not a helpless turtle….the kid in the snow suit in A Christmas Story. I am sure someone already said that….I am a little far behind with life these days.

  108. I honestly can’t say if I like the girly Vader, or the Tardis dress… both are awesome, and you really have the legs for those dresses.

    But the storm trooper suit… If I could get one for my boyfriend I think he’d marry me, so Yes, Victory wins!

  109. I appreciate the Empress costume, but I have to say, Souffle Girl was both inspired and completely fabulous. Next year?

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: