I don’t think. I feel.

Victor and I having an argument about whether people work based on rational thinking or on emotional feeling:

me:  I don’t “think”.  I feel.

Victor:  No, you just think that.

me:  No, I feel that it’s a truism.

Victor:  You really think so?

me:  Nice try, Satan.  I’m not falling for your trickery.

Victor: I think calling me Satan is a bit harsh.

me: Because you feel it’s an unfair comparison?

Victor:  No.  It’s because I think you’re insane and irrational.

me:  “Irrational” is an emotional feeling.  I think you just proved my point.

Victor:  HA!  You “think” so?  You lose.

me:  Dammit.  I had a feeling I would.

100 thoughts on “I don’t think. I feel.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I wonder if this is one of those “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” things. But with more taxidermied animals around as scenery.

  2. It’s kinda sad ’cause “I feel like you just proved my point.” Would have worked just as well. 🙁 Better luck next argument

  3. There aren’t enough Christmas cookies in the world that could add up to how much I love thee, Jennifer Archibald Lawson.

  4. I often use the two interchangeably. But it strikes me that it’s a very different thing to say “I like the way you think” than it is to say, “I like the way you feel.” One of these could probably get a restraining order.

  5. Tell Victor that you think that he needs to talk about his feelings more. Or you feel like he needs to think before he speaks…?

    This also made me think of Jim Carrey as Ace Ventura, saying, “Yes, SATAN?…oh, I’m sorry, sir. You sounded like someone else.”

    So. Funny. –Thanks!

  6. That argument makes me think of that smaltzy song Feelings. “Feelings, nothing more than feelings “.

  7. Ha! I broke up once with a guy who said to me, “I’m a Thinker, you’re a Feeler.” Ok, so it was true. But after that I both thought and felt that he was an asshole.

  8. I so get this. Married to a lawyer. Daughter of a lawyer. Niece of a lawyer. Good friend of a lawyer. This IS my life– every fricking word and thought analyzed and challenged. Sometimes it’s not even worth saying anything, ‘ya know?

  9. True or false question posed to me the other day: “A hunch is based on factual information.”

    It made me feel funny.

  10. A thinker once told me that it’s better to use “I feel…” Because it’s harder for someone to argue against feelings than it is thoughts so you’re more likely to win arguments … What you are thinking can be right or wrong but what you are feeling just is what it is.

  11. So many feels in this post…and in the comments. I think it’s perfect. Of course that could just be a feeling.

  12. I live with Satan too. I also work for Satan. I am also mother to Satan’s Spawn. Basically if it has a penis, I feel like it should be called Satan. That’s probably not fair to Victor or many others, but hey I can choose to feel or not feel any way around a penis that I want. Wait, what?

  13. That’s funny, my sisters’ kids call their father Lucifer. But that’s because he’s an asshole.

  14. I feel that thinking is overrated. Sometimes I think feelings are underrated. Also, I think and feel those are the same thing and that reading this makes me think and feel stabby.

  15. Nice. Clever. This is a funny post of course, and terribly witty, but I actually think this is an important distinction, and it’s not a male/female thing. We all think and we all feel, but both men and women often say “feel” to hide the judgment implicit in “think” or to mask the vulnerability of “feel.” I’ve tried to be clear about my own usage of the two over the years. What I’ve noticed is that by using “think” when I’m judging and “feel” when I’m actually expressing my feelings, I’ve clarified my own self-understanding while at the same time getting more validation from others of my feelings.

    Sorry to get all serious and stuff. I can tell you’re all staring at me in disbelief over your cocktails and will go back to whatever you were talking about a moment ago, pretending I’m not even here. I’ll just wander off to talk to the stuffed rat.

    (Never apologize. I totally feel you. ~ Jenny)

  16. Then Victor must be playing Steve Winwood’s “Higher Love” – – – “Think about it . . . ”

    Ally Bean, I’m a lawyer, and I think my family feels your pain.

    Remember SATAN is an anagram of SANTA (and put that thought into your stockings).

  17. At least he didn’t say that you ARE insane and irrational. He just THINKS this. Which means nothing. Sometimes I THINK I’ll die if I don’t have a donut in the morning. Still here.

  18. But what happens when you think about your feelings? Isn’t that just having feelings? Which makes the thinking redundant. And when something is redundant it totally doesn’t exist. So, ergo and stuff, thinking doesn’t exist.

    Ipso facto theorom proved done and done.

  19. I think I love you. Is that using my brain or my heart (or my courage)? It’s starting to feel like the Wizard of Oz up in here.

  20. We were literally just arguing the mirror of this last night. My version of Satan thinks that I’m completely a feeler (I do have strong feelings) and not a thinker at all, but in reality, I’m such an OVER thinker…

  21. I try never to think or feel during the holiday season. It messes with the to-do list in my head. Auto-pilot is the way to go! Happy Holidays everyone!

  22. INFP here. I have all the feels. ALL of them. I feel the over-thinking thing as well, though, so…yeah, I’ve had some variation of that conversation quite often. Tonight even, when a thinker needed someone to understand how he felt, then resorted to thinking again to avoid feeling…Men, amirite? The two aren’t mutually exclusive, but one is typically more prominent in the way we relate to ourselves and others.

  23. THIS! This is why I love you…I love bacon….I love you…I love bacon…I love you! This Tribe Rules!

  24. I start most of my sentences with “I feel like….” for some reason people find it super annoying. I feel like you get me.

  25. What did that guy Descartes say? Cogito ergo sum? More like Credo ego, ego sum ??forsit ….I think I feel, therefore I probably am.

    but then again, it’s very possible that I am not.

    Who is to say?

  26. A friend of mine sent me a text with your blog during a boring lecture in nursing school while she was sitting directly behind me. Her message said, “every conversation between you and your husband that you feel interesting enough to tell me reminds me of Jenny Lawson”. I followed the link sent, read some, and immediately bought the book. Thank you for being able to write it, I SO relate!

  27. I think, therefore I spam….Horace B IV Descartes
    I think I love you….The Partridge Family Cult
    Love you, Jenny. I laugh out loud way more often because you write. Thank you.

  28. Hey! Also an INFP here. I guess I see my thoughts and feelings being like feet? That sounds weird. Let me spin that out – one foot’s thoughts and the other’s feelings. Together, they get me around, they help me dance (badly but enthusiastically), I occasionally trip over them, and they help me run away from bears and stomp out fires. As an INFP if I try to operate using one of them without the other the result is comical and ends badly. If I try to analyze and alter the way I walk I usually end up walking in circles or kicking myself in the shin or something. I may always start my stride with my dominant foot (feelings) but if I don’t immediately follow that up with the thinking foot I fall flat on my face. Something I keep re-learning. I know other people don’t operate like this and I do find that confusing.

  29. http://blog.keirsey.com/ will explain it all. ANNNNNNDDDDD give you guys at least 16 personality types to argue over… um discuss. I am a thinker/feeler, depending on variety of factors. My sister is a thinker. My brother is a thinker. So you can imagine I have a fun time throwing monkey wrenches into the Enterprise’s warp coil every once in a while. OK. All the time. 😀

  30. If you’re ever looking to get married to another couple, my husband and I volunteer. Of course, he knows nothing about his acquiescence, he is snoring loudly right now, but he’ll be fine. The post linked below explains it all.

  31. Well, I definitely believe that thinking gets in the way of feeling…and it’s a damn shame. Oh, and this post made my head hurt…I hope you’re happy. ; )

  32. I’m apparently hyper-sensitive to feelings in people around me, according to my shrink. Plus I over think EVERYTHING (didn’t need to be told that). So when you think about it, thinking and feeling can both screw with you. Maybe we should roll them up into a single word like ‘feenk’. I feenk too much.

  33. Absolutely love reading these conversations between you and Victor. It’s like 40’s movie patter with the smart dame and the wisecracking guy who is tough on the outside and mushy on the inside.

    And now I’m stuck with the Feelings ear worm.

  34. Woooow…… Pretty sure my fiance and I will have a conversation VERY similar to this in our married life.

    Also, to Victoria in comment #94, *giggles*

  35. So funny Jenny! I’m picturing a wonderfully horrible video where you’re singing “Feelings” and Victor’s belting out “Think” by Aretha Franklin. It all takes place in a debate-like fashion. Or maybe like Dueling Banjos. You win either way 🙂

  36. i need to blog the 6 page note I wrote on sticky notes to my husband bc I screamed at him to help me clean up the spilled trash on my birthday. it was all about how my feelings are trapped inside and they come out sideways and like the cracken.
    i get it i get this i get what you are putting out there.

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