Me: People say, “You can be anyone you want.” But I’m pretty sure that’s identity theft.
Victor: You’re underestimating yourself. You can be a successful entrepreneur if you applied yourself.
Me: No. I don’t have that ability. I could pretend to be someone who’s an entrepreneur, but that’s really identify-theft too. I already have an identity, and it’s “that-girl-who-says-fuck-a-lot-and-hasn’t-intentionally-killed-anyone-yet.”
Victor: You’re just afraid to try new things. If you focused you could start a restaurant or learn to do your taxes.
Me: And now you’re having an identity crisis. Except it’s over my identity. Sort of selfish, really. Plus, you’re trying to take away my identity of “someone who doesn’t want to do things”. So if anything you’re guilty of identity theft. You’re stealing my identity.
Victor: That’s not how identity theft works.
Me: Well, it’s not how I work either. There’s a lot of confusion going around.
Winner: I don’t know. I don’t even know who I am anymore.