This isn’t a real post but it’s still worth it.

So in the morning we leave for our road trip and you can follow it on instagram but before we left I had to post this video of Dorothy Barker so that I can watch it on repeat when I miss her.

View this post on Instagram

For medicinal purposes. (See blog for details.)

A post shared by Jenny Lawson (@thebloggess) on

The backstory: Whenever Victor calls me on the phone Dorothy Barker will do this wolf-like howl and will not stop until I answer the call.  She only does this for his ring tone and as soon as I answer it she immediately stops and looks very proud of herself.  If I intentionally ignore it she will crawl up into my lap and howl in my face like, “YOU HAVE A CALL, LADY.”  I suspect Victor taught her to do this.

PS. Is it just me or does her first howl sound like she saying: “I LOVE MY MAMA”?  Or maybe “I WANT PINATAS”.  Hard to tell.

PS. I’ll still be posting here while I’m gone.  Because I’m a professional.  Sort of.

This needs a caption.







148 thoughts on “This isn’t a real post but it’s still worth it.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. OMG, that is the most adorable thing EVER!! Enjoy your vacation. I hope you love Colorado as much as I do!

  2. Caption: OMG! Look at the size of that lawn gerbil! I love Dorothy Barker, one of the most beautiful (and expressive) dogs I’ve ever seen. Plus she can meow. You’re gonna miss her like crazy. Have a fun trip!

  3. (FYI I now have two of my three dogs on top of me, staring very suspiciously at my tablet )
    Hope you have a great trip!

  4. My daughter’s dog started howling when the answering machine picks up…after she moved out to go to college last year. He had never done that before. Cracks me up every time. (Yes we still have a landline with answering machine…it is required by my husbands job…we never actually answer that phone because the only people that call it are telemarketers and his work)

  5. I love my mama – I TOTALLY HEARD IT! Isn’t she the sweetest little thing in the world. Safe travels, Jenny! Hope you find some really cool dead things with tiny hats, while on your trip! Have fun!

  6. You can’t leave Dorothy Barker at home! She needs a vacation too!!

    (She’s staying with her vet so she’ll have a vacation as well. She works in the office and plays with all the other small dogs. They super love her there. ~ Jenny)

  7. I just wrote this the other day: I have a special ringtone for my sister-in-law and whenever my dog Pip hears it, he goes crazy. He spends rest of the day recall-barking randomly and staring at the front door, waiting for the kids. Poor pup doesn’t realise that we can get calls from her that don’t involve her kids coming over here.

  8. Shadow yells “MAMA” when I open the back door of the car. Dorothy just knows to tell you to answer your phone. Enjoy the vacation!

  9. I’m up, and this is a lovely send off to dreamland, which is where I really need to be. Safe travels to you!

  10. Safe Journey and enjoy your trip! We just made a short 6 day jaunt to my mum’s for my nephew’s wedding last weekend! It was the first time we had been anywhere for 5 years. It was a lot harder packing up since I had to pack and then load up all of Mike’s medical equipment for his ALS/Lou Gehrig’s Disease to take with us. I figured out why senior citizens get Travel Trailers or Winnebagos! They need the space to haul around all their medical equipment. hahaha

  11. Adorables! Love your pet names. Almost finished with Furiously Happy and I keep reading excerpts to my husband and son. Son was a little wigged out about the Brazilian. Hey, he’s 30, he needs to know these things.

  12. Those are kinda creepy dolls on your shelf there. Was just reading about a UK gentleman who believes his dolls are inhibited. Are yours?

    (I don’t think so. You have to pay extra for that sort of thing. ~ Jenny)

  13. I so hope you head south from Spokane, for selfish reasons. If you stop in Lewiston, you’ll enjoy such things as:
    •Our canoe sculpture. 4 million or fifty (nobody knows) either welded or duct taped together (nobody knows).
    •The gateway to Hells Canyon, which is code for “it’s hot as Satan’s butthole in pleather pants here”. But it’s a dry heat.
    •Miscellaneous artistic nods to our cities’ namesakes, Lewis and Clark. Also Sacajawea, who kept them from doing stupid shit and getting killed, all while she had a baby strapped to her back.
    •Effie burgers. They’re as big as your head.
    •The library, which everyone was pissed they used money we saved up for garbage to build. When it was for trash, everyone was ok with it but whoa nelly, not fer buuks. You should go sign your books there because who’s gonna check you for that, huh? (You can borrow my library card.)
    •Out furthest inland seaport status. If you get here and decide you want to ditch the car for a boat, you can row that bitch all the way to the ocean
    •Our “Brad you suck” sign. I feel that you need photographic evidence of this independent determination to submit to the vampire council. <~ this is probably the most compelling reason to visit.
    We’ll all be following your progress and I know there are friends all along your path. Can’t wait to see the PNW through your lens!

  14. That is so cute. Incidentally, this is my ringtone for the doorbell to my apartment building. When I played the video, my dog ran for the front door and now looks really confused…

  15. I heard, “I want pastrami,” but then my mind is always in the deli (better than in the gutter, I guess).

    Have a great trip!

  16. What in the Wild, Wild World of Sports is going on here…? and also high five DB

  17. Definitely “I love Mama.” Clear as a bell. And the chandelier-shattering ear-piercing squeak is so endearing…you should see if you could get THAT in a ringtone!!!

  18. my grandmother’s dog could always tell when my mother left her house (four miles away) to come to my grandmother’s house. Granted, she had a regular visiting schedule, but sometimes she’d leave early, or late, or swap days, or go somewhere else first. THE DOG ALWAYS KNEW. She was trained to sit on the sofa with a toy in her mouth (rather than jump on people and pee in excitement) and I imagine that was a long 4 miles of excitement for that dog.

  19. So funny!! I asked where you were going in WA in your previous post because I live there and said maybe my house. Well, your guest room is ready!! I live 30 minutes north of Seattle with views of the Puget Sound and the Cascades and we’d love to have you for a meal or for a night! I think you’re going to love Seattle!! 🙂 Safe travels!!

  20. So funny!! I asked where you were going in WA in your previous post because I live there and said maybe my house. Well, your guest room is ready!! I live 30 minutes north of Seattle with views of the Puget Sound and the Cascades and we’d love to have you for a meal or for a night! I think you’re going to love Seattle!! 🙂 Safe travels!!

  21. My almost 8 year old dachshund, Dash Linus, was VERY interested in that video. He cocked his head to the side in the way that small dogs do and listened intently. I played it a second time for him (and for science!) and he checked my laptop screen and behind the laptop.

    My 15 year old elderstatespuppy, Thumbelina slept right through it.

    Happy vacation! I hope Dorothy enjoys her time at the puppy spa!

  22. Caption: “Beyonce, it’s party time. Get the owls and squirrels and get ready to rumble”.

  23. I’m thinking she could sing “Oh Holy night…” keep it in mind…


  25. Could it have been something from the Exorcist?….. May you have safe and joyful travels throughout the Frozen Northwest–which, of course, it isn’t right now, that’s just what I call it since we moved here from Hawaii, arriving on the morning of Dec. 17th (18th?), 2008, when everyone awoke to the heaviest snowfall in 50 years (maybe longer) and I said every 60 seconds “I want to go home” and my Tipper cat (a 20-lb solid black cat with a voice like you would not believe), Tipper would alternate with a yowl that should have told my husband he would be sorry if he did not turn the truck around and take us back to Hawaii. Immediately. Which he did not, and I’m pretty sure he has regretted it. But right now the temps are up between 95 & 100, so it’s not actually Frozen. Enjoy your road trip!

  26. Ok – one of the things I love about you is your talent for non-human family member names! Dorothy Barker being a prime example…my mom named our sparrow hawk ‘Henry Hawkins’ only the Hs are silent= enry awkins…keep on keeping on!


  27. Caption: I-is that a taxidermied moose? What the fuck, Jenny?

    It sounds like she’s saying “I want my mama.” Victor’s one scary motherfucker, apparently. Or he’s trained her to suck up to you to get you to pick up the phone. That’s using your noggin for lawful evil, right there.

  28. Ok. Got it working. And all of my dogs wanted to know why there was a dog trapped in my amazon echo and how could they get it out. I may have to play this periodically to get their attention. 😉 Cats didn’t give a shit. They feel there are too many dogs already. 🤷🏻‍♀️

  29. Maybe something about that ring tone bothers her ears? Something we cannot detect? Similar to dogs who howl when emergency vehicles are going by?

  30. That is so sweet! How can you bear to be away from her! Lol I am sure she will be one and will have stories to share when you get home. I babysit my sister’s dogs when she goes away and they have alot if fun with their aunt. Have a great vacation can’t wait for the pics on instagram

  31. So if you pass through Hugo CO you are welcome to stop by my house. I always have homemade snacks on hand and I have three dogs who will love you and treat you as one of the pack. Hugo is San interesting little town too.

  32. Aww, she DOES love her Mama! My Golden howls every time she hears police or fire truck sirens- so cute! Enjoy the trip.

  33. That’s so cute! I played this on my computer and my pit mix Angus started woofing in alarm, the way he does when he sees a strange car outside. Now he won’t shut up. Have a great trip! Can’t wait to follow along here and on instagram.

  34. Clearly she is singing the song of her people – so adorable. Victor must be so honored.

  35. I don’t think anyone should be able to claim they are a professional until they have a shelf of big eyed dolls – truly the mark.

    And clearly Victor has been training D.B. on the sly. Sounds like it’s time for counter measures. Train D.B. to grab Victor’s crotch when you call his name and he’s in the house.

  36. We had a miniature American Eskimo when I was growing up, and he would do that every time my mom played Whitney Houston or Mariah Carey. 💖💖💖

  37. Ahhhh, I’m not only in the urge to document pets before traveling. There’s 9000 photos on my phone but I just have to take a few more. 🙂

  38. I listened to this 47 times. She is clearly saying”I want my mama” “I want my pop”. The howling, I believe, is an ode to Snoopy!

  39. Years ago we had a cat that would answer our landline for us whenever we weren’t home. She never learned to hang it up again or take messages though, and as far as I know (from people trying to phone us) us didn’t sing to them.

  40. She definitely said I Love My Mama. I am so jealous. She is so adorable and smart. I want a baby dog to love so badly.

  41. OMG, paps are really the best. My favorite puppy of all time is my friend A.’s Papillon, Gizmo, who is just as dear as your Dorothy-dot. (Apparently “Gizmo” is the “Jones” of the US (or the “Wong” of the planet.) Something about the ears suggests a gremlin in cute, fuzzy mode.

  42. Caption: “So what you’re telling me is… there’s NO SUCH THING AS DOGNIP?”

  43. How awesome is it that you can get in the shower and never wonder about missing a call because the dog will alert you. That is way better than Siri!!!!

  44. I totally heard “pinata” and one of the cats is giving me a dirty look.

  45. You know what is totally disappointing? I played that video and there was NO reaction from my dog whatsoever!!! Seriously Duke!! WHAT KIND OF DOG ARE YOU?!?!

  46. Caption: Oh my fucking God please tell me there is NOT a horde of creepy dolls behind me about to eat my face!

    (P.S. She is SOoooo cute! Love her! And yes, she’s definitely talking to you.)

  47. Photo caption ‘Black shoes with a navy blue suit, seriously? Surely not – call the Fashion Police immediately we have a situation’ I get the feeling Dorothy Barker is engaged with colour co-ordination (and ringtones)

  48. OMG that is the CUTEST thing in the world!!! My cat was laying directly behind my computer while that was playing and she jumped a little with the first howl, which was cute too, but not nearly as cute as Dorothy Barker. I hope you have fun on your trip!

  49. Positively I love my mama. I also am pretty sure at the end she was going for La Cucaracha.

  50. Love the video!!
    One of my dogs always gets up and runs over to the laptop and stares at it when there is a video of a dog making noise. He was especially enamored by this one, and sang back at it. Maybe he wants to be Dorothy Barker’s boy friend! (no worried, he’s neutered). 🙂

  51. Caption: “That which has been seen cannot be unseen!”
    Also loved the “OMG, the call is coming from inside the house” one.
    And I totally heard “I want my mama.” She sounds like a squeaky toy. Too cute. Makes me want a dog.

  52. I’m running a Dogtel for a friend. Dottie made all 6 guest dogs sit up and take notice. She should be here while you’re gone. The food is good, the water is cold and the a/c is central.

  53. It’s as clear as can be. She’s saying, “Daddy’s calling! Hurry up! Don’t keep him waiting! What’s taking you so long?”

  54. My little rat terriers (6 lb.) started howling when she heard Dorothy. It was a beautiful duet that kept going because I couldn’t get your video to quit. Martha, my other Rattie, perked her ears, but refused to howl. Dan, my husband, howled, too! Whenever we hear a fire siren we all howl together. Hopefully no one will be passing our house when this happens, the police will be out for sure!

  55. That is so cute. Her song should be Victor’s ring tone, then Dorothy Barker can sing two part harmony.

  56. Her howl is adorable. And this is off the subject, and I was against you trying to dress the lawn gerbils, bc you know rats are aholes, then this happened, a dapper dressed rodent.
    You’ll see, you’ll see.

  57. I took video of me petting my old kitty (14 years) after everyone else got out of bed for the day. She likes to get all snugly and sweet when she crawls into my lap now. She will put her nose under my chin and push until I pet her. I feel your pain. I miss my animals too much while we are gone on vacation. I’m like you – I’d rather stay home and read or play music on my flute and work on my cross stitch pieces. Vacations are too hard on my GAD.

  58. My dog is asleep beside me in bed and his head popped straight up when she started signing. He was like “who was that, Mama?”!

  59. I bet one of the cats taught her to do that, because they’re evil and don’t like when we try to do silly things like sleep.

    As an aside, for being practically dead last month and missing half your blood, you look remarkably healthy!

  60. My dog LOVES this video. He cocks his head sideways and raises one ear….lol. I’m going to have to try to video his reaction. My 5 year old loves his reaction so much, she kept replaying it to watch him.

  61. Hope you are coming to Fort Collins, the Choice City-really, that’s what it’s called. I’m a writer also. Blog and forthcoming book titled Drinking out go the Trough. You’re a great writer.

  62. GOOD FOR DOROTHY! That is exactly the kind of thing that a service dog learns: Recognize a specific signal that their human should respond to, notify them, and then escalate until they respond. Her howl is much like the “third stage” that an old friend’s seizure- and hearing-assistance dog would reach if her owner missed the initial subtle cues. (First stage “dance” and paw the air. Second stage lick her face. Third stage, throw back her head and howl to get additional help from someone with opposeable thumbs.)
    The dog was trained to recognize an oncoming seizure so her owner could take seizure-prevention meds, and to notify of her things like fire alarms; the dog extrapolated that and also notified her when there were emergency vehicles coming up in the cars behind them.

  63. Caption: “they’re behind me, aren’t they?! ARE THEY??! OH MY GOD DON’T BLINK!!!”

  64. I heard ‘I love my mama.’ My dog was very curious when she heard that sound coming from my tablet.

    My dog that I had when I was growing up always knew when we ordered pizza, and would run to the door and bark the instant we hung up the phone. We kept trying to explain to him that they have to cook the pizza first, but to no avail.

  65. Honestly, she is the cutest little dog I have ever seen, and I have some cute little dogs myself. (Don’t tell Sierra about this!)

  66. Oh Dorothy is the cutest ever! What breed is she? I’ve been looking into mental health doggos for a friend and she looks diddy enough to sit on a lap and also enjoy running round a small garden.

  67. She is totally saying, I love my mama! And caption A OMG, put your pants back on.

  68. Moxy (my cat) is now infatuated with Dorothy…couldn’t get enough of the video!

  69. The best part of this whole video is that I’m listening to the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack – Fox on the run, and the video synched up perfectly with the first chorus. Dorothy Barker is on POINT!

  70. Colorado Springs almost native here (I’ve lived here 34 years since I was 7). Since we probably won’t be lucky enough to see you in the Springs, I’m guessing you’re going to pass through Denver. Two places perfect for you are the Tatered Cover (three story bookstore that is independently owned) and the Oxford Hotel. The Oxford, built in 1891, is listed on Denver’s Haunted Hotels. It’s awesome. For Halloween, instead of doing regular or cutesy decorations, they go full on gothic. They have a front display window (like a store display window) that they decorate seasonally.
    If you want to experience the Old West, complete with ghost towns and ghost mines, venture out to Leadville, an old mountain mining town. Eat at the Golden Burrow and read their menu for some cool history, and visit the National Mining Museum. Visit Turquoise Lake nearby, a large glacial lake set against the mountains. All fun for adults and kids.

  71. ^ Tattered Cover NOT Tatered Cover. No potatoes are involved. There is a cafe though.

  72. caption: “I . . . . . AM . . . . .IN . . . . . .MOURNING. . . . .” (lick, lick, smooch, smooch) “Don’t leave me MAMA! I LOVE YEEEEUUUUWWWWW TOOOO MUCH!”

  73. Not related to this post in any way, shape, or form but since you’re a Pokemon fan I have to ask — are you hunting the legendaries?!? Just caught Articuno and Lugia yesterday and I am so excited! Moltres and Zapdos are coming in the next few weeks. Just wanted to make sure you were catching ’em all!

  74. This is so adorable! My Max (my puppy-son and service dog), who is asleep beside me as I type this, woke up when I turned the sound on and she started howling, but I think maybe her pitch was too high for him (the look on his face screamed, “what IS that?!”), as he did not howl with her. 😉

  75. Hope you get through Boise!! So I can come stalk you (but in a nice way)!

    Except that it is SO HOT right now. Good news is that since it’s so dry, the mornings and late evenings are nice.

    Independent bookstore: Rediscovered Books
    Best sandwich shop (only open M-F lunch time): Bleubird (yes, that is the correct spelling)
    My favorite brunch: Bacon (yes, that is it’s actual name!)

    Have a wonderful trip!

  76. RE: road trip to Colorado. I live in this vast, majestic, bear filled state. The thought constantly going through my head as I drive through beautiful Colorado, is: WHY are there no guardrails where there is a 695,379,964 foot drop off! Also, truck runoff hills, for when their brakes fail. What is that!? But beautiful! 😉

  77. This is so freaking adorable. We just adopted a second husky and have yet to hear her sing. Here’s hoping she feels comfortable enough in her new home soon!

Leave a Reply