Remember last month when I wrote about Amazon recommending a ridiculous astronaut baby carrier to take your cats for walk in and they were like, “YOU SHOULD TOTALLY HAVE THIS, WIERDO” and I was a little offended?
And then I looked at it again and was like, “Fuck. I TOTALLY SHOULD HAVE THIS.” And so I bought it because that’s what happens when I have insomnia at 3am.
And today I’m reviewing it for you in case you also bookmarked it during a moment of weakness.
First cat, Ferris Mewler:
Verdict: Somewhat perturbed. Slightly fascinated. Last time I tried to take him for a walk I used a cat halter and he just flopped over and pretended to be dead even when I dragged him so this was a small improvement.
Second pet. Hunter S. Thomcat:
Verdict: Hunter does not like confined spaces. Or backpacks. Or me.
3rd pet, Rolly.
Verdict: Rolly is our smartest cat and after living with me for ten years she has a sixth sense about when to hide. I suspect she’ll turn up as soon as I put the backpack away. We respect her wishes. But I bet she would have loved it.
4th pet: Dorothy Barker.
Verdict: Totally cool with it. Which seem like a waste because I can already put Dorothy on a leash and walk her around, but she super freaks out in the car and this enclosed space seemed to weirdly comfort her so at least someone appreciates it.
Conclusion: This bag will make your neurotic cats more neurotic. Will make your neurotic dog less neurotic. Will make your neighbors avoid you. I say that’s a win.
UPDATED: The outtakes, as requested: