I mean, it’s so, so accurate.

Have you used Electric Literature’s automatic male novelist description generator to see how a male author would describe you?  Because it’s quite awesome.

Here’s mine:

“She had curves like a juicy bedsheet and I shuddered to correct her.”

Nailed it.

262 replies. read them below or add one

  1. I’m going to generate descriptions for all my friends now 😂

    Gary recently posted How to cook the perfect chicken maryland.

  2. “She had an ass like an expensive popsicle and I pined to ravish her.”

    Thanks. I think.

  3. She had knockers like a tempestuous bedsheet and I wanted teabag her. >.<

  4. “She had boobs like a plump berry and I wished to correct her.” I’ve vaguely disappointed but not really surprised.

  5. Oooh, I must do this… 😛

    The Hellion recently posted Just Some Funny Weird Stuff….

  6. She had legs like a silken mango and I dreaded to marry her.

  7. She had a rear end like a luscious pillow and I want to marry her. Which, oddly enough, is how my husband proposed to me.

  8. “She had curves like a tempestuous bedsheet and I longed fondle her.”

    Apparently my author has a thing for fondling the flat chests of angry women.

  9. She had eyes like a tempestuous bunny rabbit and I resolved to teabag her.

    That does not sound like something I would like.

  10. She had knockers like a silken princess and I longed to hire her. That was going really well right up until the end.

  11. She had knockers like a dewy kitten and I wished, marry her. (Spot on……)

  12. She had a butt like a wrinkled mango and I wished to spar with her. ?!?

  13. She had a butt like a silken ghost and I did not care to correct her. Perfect.

  14. She had a rump like a shrill popsicle and I did not care to fondle her.

    I’ll take that! 😂

  15. I have a complexion like a few waterfall and he ached to fondle me.

  16. Dewy…not few…stupid fat fingers.

  17. She had legs like a bulbous bedsheet and I shuddered to grope her.

  18. “She had boobs like a plump mountain and I resolved to teabag her.”

    Ew.

  19. She had boobs like a bountiful bedsheet and I thirsted to marry her.

  20. She had legs like a luscious bedsheet and I wanted to ignore her.

    Ignoring sounds about right

  21. She had knockers like a silken princess and I longed to proposition her.

  22. She had hooters like a luscious pillow and I planned to correct her. Neither my hooters nor my pillows need correcting.

  23. “She had boobs like a bountiful waterfall and I refused to teabag her.” Y’all I am dyingggggg

    findingsatoriblog recently posted It’s not you… It’s me..

  24. She had lips like a juicy kitten and I shudder to booty call her.

  25. “She had a rump like a silken waterfall and i dreaded to correct her.”

  26. She had curves like a soft snow cone and I needed to climb her. YOWZA!

  27. She had a rear end like a juicy pony and I thirsted to ignore her 😮

  28. She had boobs like a shrill pillow and I wanted to marry her. 🙁

  29. 29
    Karyn Doherty

    She had a rump like a silken princess, and I needed to booty call her.

    How…romantic?

  30. She had hair like a gleaming tulip and I shuddered to marry her.

  31. “She had curves like a soft pony and I thirsted to ravish her.” Ummmm what 😅

  32. She had curves like a soft pony and I wanted to marry her. Yep I’m a children’s book :::sigh::

  33. “She had curves like a soft pony and I thirsted to marry her.”
    Lol!!

    How did he KNOW about my soft pony-like curves????

  34. She had hair like a gleaming tulip and I shuddered to marry her.

  35. Best thing ever. He ached to marry me though, though. Not very exciting.

    pokerpilgrim recently posted The Best Places to Eat in Neptune Beach.

  36. She has knockers like a bulbous ice cream cone and I shuddered to marry her.

  37. She had an ass like a(n) expensive popsicle and I pinned to ravish her. Ha ha ha

  38. “She had a butt like a silken princess and I refused to compliment her.” um…. RUDE.

  39. She had knockers like a wrinkled kitten, and I shuddered to booty call her.

    Wow, even meme generators are mean!

  40. She had boobs like a bountiful berry and I longed to mansplain to her.

  41. “She had gams like a tempestuous mountain and I resolved to teabag her.”
    Huh. Why can’t men ever learn how to talk to a woman?!

  42. She had legs like a silken mango and dreaded to ravish her.

  43. “She had knockers like a juicy kitten and I shuddered to ravish her.”

  44. She had boobs like a bountiful fortress and I thirsted to marry her. 🤣🤣🤣

  45. She had curves like a luscious expensive ice cream cone and I lusted to compliment her.

  46. She had a rear end like a plump melon and I proposed to hire her….

  47. She had boobs like a plump mountain and I resolved to teabag her.

    This sounds soooo like my husband.

  48. “She had curves like a juicy bedsheet and I thirsted to booty call her.”

  49. She had a butt like a silken bedsheet and I wanted to admire her. <~~~ I’ll take it, lol

    Candy Keane | Geek Mamas recently posted I Got a Felt Letter Board, Now What?.

  50. Tried both my name (Thomas) and nickname (Marjorie) and was horrified by both. But let me tell you, if I did have a vagina, I would definitely be calling it the “silken princess.” (Thanks, Automatic Male Novelist!)

    Thomas (MJ) recently posted But Serving All That Jazz, Helen.

  51. She had a rump like a juicy pony and I did not care to marry her. Ha!!

  52. She had knockers like a dewy kitten and I wished to correct her.

    BwhahahahahH

  53. She had legs like a shiny pony and a deigned to compliment her. Aw. So sweet!

  54. “She had an ass like a juicy tulip and I resolved to marry her.”

    Uhhhhhh….ewww and no!

    E

  55. I wouldn’t be shocked if some misguided/misogynistic soul found this out of context and excitedly cribbed it for his own use.

    Wolf of Words recently posted Media Update 4/12/18.

  56. “She had knockers like a silken princess and I longed to proposition her.”

  57. She had an ass like a shrill popsicle and I planned to ravish her.

    As someone with a huge ass, I feel this isn’t something would ever say about me. haha.

  58. 58
    Colleen - @amadisonmom

    She had a butt like a tempestuous pony and I deigned to marry her.

  59. “She had knockers like a silken princess and I longed to proposition her.” Yup.

  60. She had knockers like a dewy kitten and I wished to admire her.

    To be honest, this sounds like a love note to my introvert, lesbian lover lol

  61. 61
    Stefanie Cloutier

    She had knockers like a dewy pillow and I wanted to marry her.

  62. Either the longer winter has frozen my brain cells, or I’m not figuring out how to do this correctly. There’s five columns. What if a person’s name is 3 letters, or 8 letters? I so confused.

    Mamacita recently posted You Know Who.

  63. We have the same first name, so….yeah.

  64. She had a rump like a silken waterfall and I thirsted to marry her.

  65. “She had calves like a silken pony and I refused to hire her.” – Poetry.

  66. She had curves like a silken bedsheet and I resolved to compliment her.

  67. She had a butt like an expensive kitten and I dreaded to marry her.

    I wouldn’t have married you anyway, you loser author.

  68. 68
    officerripley

    She was old so I refused to acknowledge her existence.

  69. She had a rear end like a silken princess and I ached to admire her.

    Well, shit, that’s a let down.

  70. Ha! I didn’t know there was a generator for this. These are hilarious! And accurate…

    Andrea G recently posted Pot, paintings and palm rats, oh my!.

  71. She had hair like a soft bedsheet and I shuddered to proposition her.

  72. She had a complexion like a tempestuous bedsheet and I needed to ravish her.
    Actually, I AM very pale and also dealing with hormonal acne issues right now, so a complexion like a tempestuous bedsheet actually makes some twisted sense.

  73. “She had hair like a silken popsicle and I deigned to caress her.”

    ROTFLMAO

    mommatrek recently posted WOD.

  74. “She had knockers like a silken princess and I longed to marry her.”

  75. LOL! I did my one of my friend’s names and it is awesomely terrible: She had knockers like a wrinkled kitten and I shuddered to booty call her.

  76. I hate to be this person, but I think you spelled your name wrong. I’ll show myself out…

  77. 77
    Gigi Rambles

    She had hair like a luscious fortress and I thirsted to insult her.

    Sounds about right…

  78. “She had a rump like a shrill popsicle and I did not care to fondle her.”

    That’s fine. Good day to you, Sir. I said GOOD DAY!!

  79. She had knockers like a wrinkled kitten and I dreaded to marry her.

    Damn my wrinkly kitten boobs.

  80. “She had curves like a silken popsicle and I proposed to marry her”

  81. “She had a rear end like a luscious pillow and I trembled to marry her”. My boyfriend says this is totally accurate.

  82. She had curves like a juicy kitten (yuck) and I shuddered to correct her? WTF

  83. As I have the same first name, my comment was the same. The revulsion I feel is all my own, though (or maybe not…)

  84. Sadly… she had eyes like a tempestuous pony and I deigned to admire her pretty much sums up the way all guys have ever seen me…

  85. She had eyes like a juicy pony and I resolved to booty call her. Juicy pony? Hmmmm….

  86. She had a butt like a silky princess and I refused to compliment her…

    WHATEVER BRO! This silky princess wants none of your attention!

  87. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Thank you for this today. I needed a giggle. Mine isn’t as good as most of the others, though.

    “She had a complexion like a juicy princess, and I dreaded to ravish her.”

    I’m afraid this indicates he doesn’t understand the word ravish. He’s missing out.

    Terra Walker recently posted 13 Hospital Go Bag Must-Haves.

  88. She had boobs like an expensive tulip and I shuddered to ravish her! LMAO – perfect!

  89. She had a bust like an expensive kitten and I planned to marry her.

  90. 90
    T Macdonald

    “She had a complexion like a juicy princess and I resolved to ignore her.” Puts me in mind of Violet Beauregarde; I’d ignore me too!

  91. Vicki=She had hooters like a luscious pillow and I planned to correct her. I guess I’m ok with that. Leigh=She had legs like a juicy popsicle and I detested to proposition her. Well, that’s both slightly flattering and just plan mean.

  92. She had legs like a tempestuous princess and I thirsted to emotionally manipulate her.

  93. 93
    Faith Purdy

    She had a rump like a silken princess and I resolved to booty call her

  94. “She had boobs like a withered princess, and I needed to compliment her.” I don’t think that particular compliment is going to go over the way he hopes.

  95. She had a rear end like a silken princess and I needed to ignore her. Hmmm. I don’t think it works for my name, Mary S.

  96. She had lips like a luscious kitten, and I shuddered to marry her.
    As well you should, bro. As well you should.

  97. “She had eyes like a juicy kitten, and I ached to proposition her.”

    Seems about right.

    becomingcliche recently posted Notes From the Zookeeper: Team Player! And the Cutest Thing.

  98. She had knockers like a soft car and I longed to booty call her… vroom

  99. She had curves like a luscious pony and I deigned to hire her. (had to go to my middle name to finish)
    At any rate, I suddenly feel like I should be pulling a carriage at Central Park. This isn’t as fun as I thought it would be. 😉

  100. “She had a bust like a shrill popsicle and I ached to fondle her.”

    Can’t argue with that!

  101. 101
    Jan Jenkins

    She had curves like a silken bedsheet and I resolved to fondle her.

  102. “She had legs like a tempestuous mango and I thirsted to ignor her”

    Love it. Thanks!

  103. “She had curves like silken pillow and I wanted to marry her.”
    Well, that’s kinda wholesome and disappointing

  104. She has gams like a silken pillow and I trembled to marry her!

  105. She has boobs like a plump berry and I deigned to admire her!

    (had to use part of my middle name, but I dare say this is quite accurate! LOL)

  106. “She had eyes like a juicy popcicle and I wanted to correct her.”
    Hm… Why are my eyes melting?

  107. 107
    DragnTears

    “She had knockers like a wrinkled kitten and I craved to booty call her!” Have they been spying on me???? How do they know???

  108. “She had mammaries like a luscious pillow and I refused to compliment her.” – well that’s not very nice of him 🙁

  109. “She had knockers like a wrinkled tulip and I deigned to climb her”

  110. she had a butt like a silken princess and i refused to complement her..wow

  111. “She has a complexion like a luscious tulip and I dreaded to booty call her” – and here I was thinking it was going to be nice .. haha

  112. She had a butt like a shrill popsicle, and I deigned to spar with her.

    I’m still trying to figure out “shrill popsicle”.

  113. She had an ass like an expensive kitten and I shuddered to mansplain to her…..
    Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

  114. She had an ass like a plump popsicle, and I deigned to admire her.

    Wait.

    Am I really the first Emily here???

    OwnLessDoMore.us recently posted WheRVe we been? Our travels, 1st quarter 2018.

  115. “She had hair like a juicy melon and I proposed to ravish her.” Huh?

  116. She had calves like a silken mango and I wanted to marry her.
    My calves are AMAZING (silken if I’ve shaved) and the husband LOVES mangoes 😂

  117. She had a rear end like a juicy pony and I thirsted to ignore her.

    Well,that’s certainly…something.

  118. “She had eyes like a tempestuous pony and I had designed to marry her.” Not bad

  119. 119
    Danielle E.

    “She had lips like a silken bedsheet and I thirsted to marry her.” Well now… fans self

  120. I can’t get past “withered bunny rabbit”. Help. I’m stuck. WHO WITHERED THE BUNNY RABBIT!? And why would you proposition it? Hasn’t it been through enough, what with being withered? I need to go to bed.

    Lille recently posted e=m(change)^2.

  121. 121
    Lisa Chavez

    She had legs like a luscious ghost and I longed to invade her. Hmm…my legs are ghostly white.

  122. 122
    Nichole C.

    “She had mammaries like a luscious pillow and I trembled to mansplain to her”

    Uncanny!

  123. “She had boobs like a creamy popsicle and I wanted to marry her”

  124. “She had hooters like a silken pony and I resolved to teabag her.” Wow, spooky. My husband is constantly telling me how silken my ponies are.

  125. “She had a butt like a wrinkled tulip and I dreaded to marry her.”

    Yeah, well I’m not so keen on your smelly scrotum, either!!!!!

  126. “She had an ass like an expensive popsicle and I did not care to marry her.”
    Well, thank god, because I’m already married and while my husband does love my ass, he’d never call it a popsicle, expensive or otherwise.

  127. She had a rump like a silken waterfall and I trembled to compliment her.

  128. She had a rump like a silken waterfall and I trembled to marry her.

  129. 129
    sara reichert

    “She had knockers like a silken princess and I longed to raw dog it with her.”
    What a love!

  130. She had a rump like a silken princess and I resolved to booty call her.
    Dang – the man of my dreams…. where have you been all my silken princess life?

  131. 131
    eleventhpercent

    I’m Jenni, just with ‘i’ instead of ‘y,’ so I have the same juicy bedsheet curves but I’m not marriage material: “… he shuddered to marry her.” Not the worst turn down I’ve gotten.

  132. She had curves like a tempestuous berry and I wished to proposition her. (I like it.)

  133. She had eyes like a juicy kitten and I ached to proposition her. What the heck ?? Juicy kitten ???

  134. She had a rear end like a silken popsicle and I pined to correct her.

  135. She had knockers like a wrinkled popsicle, and I resolved to compliment her.

  136. She had a rump like a silken waterfall and I trembled to marry her.

  137. 137
    Sarah Lunacorn

    Hell, yeah, I have knockers like a silken princess!

  138. 138
    Shannon White

    She had knockers like a wrinkled pillow and I wanted to marry her.
    HEYYYYY! I’ve got DDD Knockers not at all wrinkled but certainly like pillows and I have been competing with Zsa Zsa Gabor for years on this marriage thing, but as she is dead, so is my desire to marry anyone else, EVER, if I get out of the one I’m in without my wrinkled pillow knockers intentionally smothering him in his sleep. Now THAT’S some poetic shit right there.

  139. She had curves like a juicy kitten and I shuddered to booty call her

  140. “She had a butt like a silken popsicle and I ached to correct her.”
    A gentleman who compares my derriere to a frozen treat AND wants nothing more than to tell me why I’m wrong about everything?
    Sign me up, yo.

  141. 141
    Obviously named Natasha

    She had mammaries like a silken waterfall and I longed to ignore her.

    So I apparently have big saggy boobs with lots of silvery stretch marks? And apparently dudes can’t ignore me even if they want to. Ha, but I can ignore them.

  142. She had a rump like a silken waterfall and I trembled to admire her.

    M’kay.

    Kat recently posted Easter Eggs Aren’t Just For Easter.

  143. “She has a rump like a silken waterfall and I wanted to marry her.” I’m not even sure what to do with this.

  144. “She had boobs like a fat lemon, and I deigned to marry her.” Lol!

    Ashleigh recently posted Medication Journey Update ~ Good News and Bad News.

  145. ‪She had mammaries like a tempestuous tulip and I deigned to ignore her.‬

    Well, it does accurately asses my success with attracting men (or boys, back in the day)

  146. 146
    lunatrip128

    She had boobs like a plump kitten and I shuddered to grope her.

    …well if that’s not the worst possible thing ever. Condolences to all the other Amanda’s out there.

  147. 147
    alreadyselected

    She had lips like a juicy mountain and I refused to tea bag her (those crevices were full of teeth)

  148. ‘She had eyes like a juicy kitten and I ached to proposition her.’ …. I’m a bit creeped out by ‘juicy kitten’. That’s just not right.

  149. She had a butt like a tempestuous princess and I needed to booty call her.
    Well, okay….. not quite sure how I feel about this one.

  150. She had a butt like a wrinkled princess and I thirsted to ignore her.
    Figures.

  151. She had a voice like a fat pony and I longed to manhandle her.

  152. She had hooters like a silken bedsheets and I resolved to ignore her .

  153. She had knockers like a wrinkled tulip and I deigned to compliment her.

  154. She had a rear end like a silken princess and I expected to mansplain to her…
    What’s mansplaining?
    Wait do I wanna know that?
    Probably not.
    To me it sounds like a guy trying to explain something to me using dude-lingo and being completely incomprehensible…
    “I don’t get your mansplanation just used English dammit!!”
    If that’s the actual definition then awesome, if it’s not, don’t tell me because it’s probably gross and I don’t wanna know XD

  155. She had boobs like a bounteous bedsheet and I wanted to emotionally manipulate here.

  156. She had a butt like an expensive kitten and I thirsted to teabag her. Pure poetry. And my butt is EXACTLY like that, btw.

  157. 157
    Kim D Pritchard

    She had a rump like a luscious melon and I lusted to marry her. My rump is my best feature.

  158. 158
    Tammy Workinger

    She had a complexion like a dewy waterfall and I ached to fondle her.

  159. 159
    Chris Lawrence

    She had a butt like a wrinkled princess and I thirsted to ignore her.
    I feel a little sad…… just saying.

  160. 160
    Charity Caroline

    “She had a butt like a wrinkled kitten and I dreaded to correct her.”

    Huh.

  161. She had boobs like a bountiful ice cream cone, and i wanted to teabag her. oh dear.

  162. 162
    Maranda Daniels

    “She had a rear end like a silken princess and I longed to booty call her”

    Now I want to know what kind of rear end does a silken princess have?

  163. She had knockers like a dewy tulip and I hated to proposition her.

  164. “She had knockers like a silken pony and I deigned to correct her.”

    Wow

  165. She had curves like a tempestuous princess and I wanted to ravish her…. Love it! lol

  166. She had boobs like a bountiful bedsheet and I longed to manhandle her.

    I like the alliteration of bountiful bedsheet boobs 😂

  167. She had a complexion like a wrinkled mango and I did not care to insult her.

  168. She had knockers like a soft ghost and I thirsted to marry her.

  169. 169
    Britt Pearson

    She has a bust like a shrill popsicle and I ached to fondle her.

  170. She had a complexion like a wrinkled tulip and I dreaded to marry her. (That explains a few things.) *snort! Maybe my petals are about to fall off.

  171. She had a complexion like a silken princess and I needed to booty call her.

  172. “she had an ass like an expensive Popsicle and I pined to ravish her”

    okay…

  173. She had knockers like a wrinkled tulip and I dreaded to teabag her. Hmmmmm.

  174. 174
    Sharon Barrett

    She had knockers like a wrinkled kitten and I dreaded to mansplain to her.

    I beg your pardon, my knockers are exceptional!

  175. Remarkably spot on.
    “She had a rear end like juicy pony and I longed to marry her.”

  176. She had a rear end like a silken princess and I detested to ravish her.

    Oh, well, I’m sure I can find someone who will enjoy ravishing me.

  177. 177
    Crazy Jane

    She had curves like a silken bedsheet and I resolved to hire her

  178. “She had curves like a silken pillow and I planned to correct her”. BORING!

  179. Apparently I have tempestuous gams…but I just can’t make myself see this through to the end.

    Rowan recently posted TWITAT – Kit Edition.

  180. She had curves like a tempestuous kitten and I shuddered to booty call her.

  181. She had gams like a silken pillow and I trembled to marry her.

  182. Oops! I miswrote mine:
    “She had a rear end like juicy pony and I longed to correct her.”

    Remarkably, still spot on.

  183. She had calves like a middle-aged pillow and I did not care to fondle her

  184. 184
    kristen loper

    She had a rump like a shrill popsicle, and I did not care to fondle her

    . Sounds about right.

  185. She had a butt like a silken popsicle and I ached to her compliment. HA loving all these.

  186. She had boobs like a plump kitten and I shuddered to grope her. AWESOME.

    Friend Mouse recently posted The Walking Dead S8E15 "Worth" 4/8/18.

  187. She had boobs like a withered princess and I thirsted to compliment her.

    Yes, compliments please!

  188. She had a butt like a wrinkled princess and I thirsted to ignore her. Excuse me?! Rude!!!

  189. She had lips like a juicy mountain, and I refused to teabag her.
    Well.

  190. She had lips like a soft pony and I wished to correct her.

    Pony lips…I like it.

  191. She had eyes like a juicy kitten and I ached to proposition her.

  192. I have boobs like a bountiful bedsheet, but at least I’m marriage material.

  193. She had a rump like a silken waterfall and I thirsted to marry her.

  194. Juicy bedsheet oh god… i’m laughing so hard.

  195. She had a butt like a silken princess and I proposed to marry her.

  196. She had mammaries like a tempestuous tulip and I deigned to compliment her.

    I mean “tempestuous tulip” is actually pretty good, though, right?!

  197. She had eyes like a tempestuous pony and I deigned to admire her.
    Probabaly one of the nicest descriptions of myself ever.

  198. She had knockers like a silken ghost and I trembled to ravish her.
    I get so tired of hearing that. All day, everyday

  199. This was fun. Mine was
    She had legs like a luscious kitten and I shuttered to ravish her.
    So I have hairy legs? I’m going to go with soft legs instead. Lol

  200. She had boobs like and expensive popsicle and I did not care to mansplain to her!

  201. […] just discovered this ludicrous new challenge on The Bloggess—the place where I usually come across this type of crazy […]

  202. She had a rear end like a luscious princess and I longed to booty call her.

  203. My name only has four letters so I opted for the first of my middle name.
    “She had legs like a luscious ghost and he longed to emotionally manipulate her.”

    That sounds unkind.

  204. 204
    Lindsay H.

    She had legs like a luscious bedsheet, and I wanted to ignore her. Yep, accurate. 😛

  205. “She had an ass like an expensive popsicle, anf I did not care to ravish her.”
    Cold.

  206. 206
    Kimberly Dick

    She had a rump like a luscious melon and I lusted to marry her.

    Apparently my butt is so round it no longer looks like a butt?

  207. She had an ass like a wrinkled tulip and I dreaded to correct her.

    Well, BITE.ME. Mr. Male Author! 🙂

  208. She had a rear end like a juicy kitten and I detested to proposition her.

  209. She had a bust like a shrill tulip, and I shuddered to grope her!
    I never thought of my bust as shrill.

  210. She had knockers like a wrinkled tulip and I deigned to climb her.

    I feel like my author may have had a stroke halfway through…

    Rhubarb Swank recently posted not today, Satan.

  211. 211
    Pellington21

    She had calves like a juicy bedsheet and I shuddered to correct her.>Damn straight you should be scared to correct me. I’m never wrong.

  212. She had boobs like a fat lemon and I deigned to marry her. wompwomp*

  213. She had a rump like a silken bunny rabbit and I resolved to bootycall her.

  214. She had knockers like a soft ghost, and I longed to marry her.

  215. She had curves like a silken ghost and I proposed to correct her.

  216. She had Hooters like a luscious pillow and I planned to admire her. At least he wasn’t all grabby because I almost stopped at Hooters since mine are like luscious pillows.

    Vicky recently posted What the…?.

  217. She had eyes like a juicy kitten and I ached to proposition her…I can’t even…lol

  218. We poor SHE names “She had knockers like a wrinkled tulip” and “and he dreaded to admire her”- well I’d feel the same way about me given that description!!!

  219. 219
    LykkeLykke

    She had legs like a bolbouse python and I wanted to marry her.

    I really don’t know what to think about that

  220. “She had boobs like an expensive pony and I resolved to booty call her.” No, sir. You will not. I am a lady.

    The Midnight Goose recently posted Yum-Yum Friday: Quick(er) Chicken Cobbler.

  221. “She had a rump like a shrill popsicle and I did not care to fondle her.” Yep. Seems accurate to my love life although it makes my butt sound smaller.

  222. OMGness. I saw this on Facebook and was actually going to write a post about it. So I’ll share mine here instead: “She had a rear end like a tempestuous bedsheet and I longed to compliment her.” (I had to borrow a letter from my middle name because I ran out of letters.)

    Mona Andrei (aka Moxie-Dude) recently posted What if we were friends with our classic writers on Facebook?.

  223. “She had gams like a tempestuous mountain, and I thirsted to booty-call her.” Hmmm…I do have pretty good legs, but I wouldn’t compare them to mountains. Let’s try my middle name, Colleen: “She had a butt like a tempestuous pony, and I deigned to marry her.” Nope, doesn’t work, especially considering I have concave–no, make that negative ass. Still, it amuses me that “tempestuous” keeps coming up over and over again… 😉

  224. “She had a bust like a shrill popsicle and I ached to fondle her” Ew!

    Tanya Goffy recently posted Poetry Month – Federico G. Lorca.

  225. 225
    Genipher Miller

    Wait Jenny, shouldn’t your’s be “She had curves like a juicy bedsheet and I shuddered to admire her.” Y: admire (i like it even more!

  226. 226
    Babycakebread

    So I recently found a book called ‘You May Not Tie an Alligator to a Fire Hydrant: 101 Real Dumb Laws, and I just found this law in it and thought you might want to know about it, since it seems like this would apply to you. The law reads that you need a $25 a year license to own a dead alligator. Just seemed like it would be something that you would want to know about, if you don’t already.

  227. “She had knockers like a silken princess and I longed to insult her.” (Sharp left turn there at the end—this is a man with ISSUES…)

  228. “She had gams like a silken lemon and I trembled to marry her.”

    I have no idea where to go with that. 😀

  229. Oops, let’s see what the middle name does. “She had an ass like an expensive popsicle and I pined to ravish her.”

    I’m not getting the popsicle ass thing AT ALL.

  230. I love this! “She had a butt like an expensive kitten and he dreaded to marry her.” Don’t blame the guy. That’s pretty weird.

  231. She had an ass like an expensive muffin and I wanted to correct her. Oh gosh!!! xD

  232. So I just went through all the steps, and thought, geez, I got the same thing Jen did. Yeah. My name is also Jen, so that should not really have been a shocker.

  233. She had boobs like a plump berry and I lusted to marry her.

  234. She had boobs like a plump berry and I ached to mansplain to her.

    This checks out.

  235. She had a badonkadonk like a tempestuous bunny rabbit and I proposed to hire her.

  236. She had legs like a lusciuos ghost and I resolved to fondle her.

  237. she had knockers like a silken bedsheet and i shuddered to ravish her.
    …that makes perfect sense.

  238. She had knockers like a wrinkled kitten and I shuddered to booty call her… Nailed it. 🙂

  239. “She had knockers like a wrinkled tulip and I deigned to compliment her”

    Okay, that’s…good…???

    🙂

  240. She had calves like a silken melon and I resolved to compliment her. (fairly innocuous I guess!)

  241. She had an ass like an expensive popsicle and I pined to ravish her.

  242. 242
    Curiouser & Curiouser

    “She had a butt like a soft princess and I thirsted to mansplain to her.” Foreplay is dead, ya’ll!

  243. “She had a rump like a silken waterfall and I wanted to raw dog it with her.” Hahahahaha I fucking love this!

  244. She had boobs like an expensive muffin and I shuddered to booty call her…

    Oh dear. LOL

  245. She had a butt like a wrinkled princess and I thirsted to ignore her. That just about sums up my life to be honest…

  246. Mine was she had legs like a fat popsicle

  247. She had legs like a silken tulip and I deigned to ignore her

    I love the silken tulip legs but I don’t want to be ignored and what is deigned anyway 😆😤

  248. She had gams like a juicy mountain and I resolved to invade her…kinky.

  249. 249
    Janis Lynch

    she had a complexion like a wrinkled muffin and i trembled to emotionally manipulate her

  250. 250
    Shelley MacGregor

    She had knockers like a wrinkled tulip and I deigned to marry her.

  251. “She had a rump like a silken berry and I deigned to marry her.”

    How progressive of you.

  252. “She had a rump like a silken waterfall and I trembled to proposition her.”

  253. 253
    Jennifer Cook

    I’m a Jennifer, so we have the exact same description. WTF is a juicy bedsheet? Nevermind, I don’t think I want to know.

  254. “She had a rear end like a silken pillow and I planned to marry her.”
    OKay?

  255. “She had a rump like a silken princess, & I resolved to booty call her.” I tried my middle name too, & it went basically the same… always a booty call, never a bride, I guess.

  256. She had a butt like a tempestuous pony and i deigned to marry her.

  257. She had boobs like a plump mountain and I resolved to tea-bag her.

  258. Dammit. Am I the only one who got through the name, wondered how Jenny and I had exactly the same description, then realized we share a name? I’m not ashamed.

  259. 259
    Gwendolyn

    She had hair like a gleaming tulip and I shuddered to grope her.

  260. “She had an ass like a luscious pony, and I resolved to marry her.”

    Haha. Thanks for this amazing laugh. Needed to tonight to deal with a bad case of the sundays.

  261. “She had knockers like a soft melon, and I proposed to marry her.”

    This is pretty accurate actually… 🙂

  262. “She had hooters like a luscious pillow and I planned to admire her.” Well, at least he was polite about it. Lots of men would plan to do more than admire me and my lusciously pillowy hooters. Remember, everyone, September is suicide prevention month. Talk to someone if you’re feeling overwhelmed. tel:1-800-273-8255 Is the national suicide hotline number, and they’re open 24/7.

    Vicky recently posted Depression Isn’t Sadness and Suicide Isn’t a Cry For Help… by Steve Safran.

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