My amazing daughter. Alternate title: I don’t think you’ll have a problem with this at all but if you do you can fuck all the way off.

in more than meets the eye

A few years ago when Hailey was 12 she announced that she had something to tell me over breakfast.

“I’m gay.”

I responded with “Okay.  But could you hand me the syrup?”

I suspect she was disappointed in my reaction because it was scary for her to say out loud but it didn’t really affect me for two reasons.  One: At that time it seemed like lots of very young kids were coming out and I was a little concerned that for some of them it was an identity they were just trying on.  It worried me for kids who really are LGBTQ if a ton of young people came out and then later decided they were straight and that being LGBTQ was just a fad.  And two:  Because I’m not an asshole.  I support all people.  I’m openly bi myself.   I told Hailey that it wasn’t an issue but that maybe until she was older she should embrace the “no labels” concept.  Ironically, the “no labels” idea requires you to label yourself as not having a label but it felt right at the time and I was very proud of the way that Victor and I handled this, which was by not handling it at all because it wasn’t a big deal.

Except?  It is a big deal.  Maybe not to me or you, but to her.  And by not taking it seriously and discussing it I think she thought that we didn’t care, or that we didn’t think it was important.  It’s easy for me to say that the world is so much more open and caring than every before but that ignores the fact that everything a teenage girl goes through is viewed through the lens of low self-esteem and fear and shame and hormones and that is all magnified if there’s also an otherness that you are carrying around with you…a fear that comes every time she explains who she is.  Everything in junior high sucks but there’s an added layer of hell that comes with knowing you’re not like everyone else.

Hailey is very lucky.  We support her fully.  She’s out at school and has friends who support her.  Her family loves her.  There are communities she can join and there are far more out kids in her school than there ever were when I was growing up.  Today there are parades and twitter trends and celebrations.  It’s different and better and I’m so thankful to the people who’ve come before her who have made this path so much easier for her.

I’ve never been to a Pride parade. I’m not a parade girl.  I’m not a people girl.  But last year I told Hailey we should all go.  Victor and I were ready.  She was not.  She was out to her friends but not loudly out, and she worried about what would happen if kids from her school saw her there.  I explained that tons of straight people and queer allies go to those parades.  I reminded her that I was bi.  I told her it might be good for her to see difference celebrated.  She thought about it for a while but decided she wasn’t ready for that yet.

And I understand it.

The concept of Pride is a weird one for me too…the idea of celebrating something that is as simple as who you love.  It’s weird that it’s still something that has to be fought for, that we’re still in a place where it’s considered brave to be exactly who you are.    But at the same time, there is so much shame and prejudice around sexuality that it’s necessary to loudly support all people in order to combat the hate that still exists out there.

So we let Hailey take the reins on how she wants to tell her own story.  Over the past few years she’s become more confident in who she is and the fear is still there, but it is not as great as her need to be loved and accepted for who she is.  Today she told me that she would be okay with me telling this part of her story.  In fact, she said, it would make her happy.

And that makes me happy.  You’re only as happy as your saddest child, after all.

Having a teenager is hard.  You fuck up all the time.  I think maybe I shouldn’t have acted like it was no big deal when she told me.   Maybe I should have recognized that even though it wasn’t a big deal to me it was a big deal to her.  I don’t know.  I only know that I’m trying my best and that I will do anything to create a safe passage for her.  As safe as can be.

Hailey is now 14.  She is openly a lesbian.  After two years I can tell you it isn’t a fad.  It’s part of who she is.  It’s one of many amazing parts that make up the brilliant woman she is becoming.  She is a singer, and actress, an honor roll student.  She works lights for the theater.  She has a temper.  She can whistle.  She is too young to date but one day she’ll make a great girlfriend to a lucky girl.  She stands up for others.  She can’t keep her room clean.  She memorizes dramatic monologues for fun.  She wears braces for bad ankles and is taking Opera lessons and loves her pets and can’t write in cursive and wants to be a neurosurgeon and adores American Horror Story (although I fast-forward through all the bad parts) and is so much more multifaceted than anyone sees.  The same as all kids her age, I suppose.

She’s my daughter and I am so very proud of her.  I hope you are too.

990 thoughts on “My amazing daughter. Alternate title: I don’t think you’ll have a problem with this at all but if you do you can fuck all the way off.”

Read comments below or add one.

  5. I am. And I am so proud of my own daughter, who is gay as well, and wants to save the world and make people’s lives better, one person at a time. Our girls can do just that.

  7. Congrats to you and Hailey, you are both lovely and we are all proud of you (and Victor too, just in case he feels left out).

  9. Hang on. I am grabbing tissues. I think I have goosebumps. Happy tears. You are so accepting and sweet and that makes me cries. Here’s a trophy for parent of the year.
    Hailey, you are beautiful and amazing. Thank you for sharing and inspiring us. It’s nice to see diversity being celebrated, to counteract all the negative stuff happening in the world. If anyone ever teases you, they suck. And tell them you have an army of millions The Bloggess Tribe members behind you.
    If I see one negative comment, I’ll combust. Go away.

  11. OMG, I’m crying. I’m so proud of her, and you, and even Victor. I had no idea you were bi, none. The love in your family just leaps right off the page. Thank you so much for being amazing parents and for being there for her. You’ve broken my heart in the best way possible today. Love you, Jenny.

  14. Hailey you are a wonderful girl! I am with your mom in that it isn’t a big deal and yet it is such a big deal…I firmly support everyone’s right to love whomever they choose and every person who loves proudly is helping make the world a little brighter…without light we lose to the dark and love shines brighter than anything else!

  17. This is wonderful! My son came out to me last year. Hailey, thank you for sharing your story. You are a beautiful young woman on the outside and inside!

  18. Lovely piece. And if it makes you feel any better, when my daughter came out to me (she was around the same age as Haley was), I misheard her. (I wear hearing aids and they don’t always help.) Anyway, she was trying to tell me she was pansexual. But I didn’t hear her correctly and couldn’t make sense of what she was saying. “What? What? Your pants don’t fit? What does that have to do anything?” She gamely said it louder and THEN I heard. She has lots of support from her friends and family too but thank goodness that moment was several years ago. Because I had suspected she was and was, at that moment, trying to let her know I’d be supportive no matter what. But I had never heard the word “pansexual” and thought she was changing the subject to tell me that her pants don’t fit.

  20. Go Hailey, go! I wish her all the happiness in the world. (One day, with a wonderful lady who’ll know how lucky she is to have her.)

  22. You all are lucky to have each other!! My teen daughter came out over breakfast too. I feel like there should be a name for that… petit dejeuner special, maybe?

  23. You are a terrific mom of a beautiful daughter. My daughter’s 19 and we couldn’t be prouder of her. Her character and intellect have consistently amazed me. Her high school and later her college girlfriends have been welcomed into our family. You did great Mom.

  24. What a wonderful story, and what a wonderful daughter you have, and what a wonderful mother you are. My daughter came out to me at around the same age. She was afraid to tell me because she thought I would hate her (which shattered my heart into a million tiny pieces), but how could I hate a child who I’d birthed, who I’d watched grow up into a lovely, sweet, empathetic, funny, sassy, smart, talented young lady? It made me realize how horrible a parent must be to be able to look their child in the eye and say “You are no longer my child”. I thought of her statement in the way you thought of your daughter’s – that maybe she was just trying on a persona. My daughter is 14 now, she’s bisexual, she’s quietly out (close family doesn’t know, a handful of her friends do), and she’s the most amazing young lady I’ve ever known.

  30. As a many decades ally of the LGBTQ community, this post makes me furiously happy! Congrats to Hailey having the confidence to come out at such a young age, and to you and Victor for being the awesome parents that you are.

  31. You’re an amazing family, and Hailey is an amazing young woman. I’m sure she knows how proud you are of her– as you should be.

  33. Hailey is a beautiful girl and she sounds like a remarkable person. I’m sure that’s due in no small part to the fact that she has a remarkable mother. I won’t say don’t beat yourself up for your initial reaction to her announcement – that’s what parents do. But I think if Hailey didn’t understand why you reacted that way before, she will now when she reads this. Hailey, love the pics. Your shirt is great and you and Dorothy Barker look absolutely darling.

  36.         Ps. You just posted it in your blog. Isn’t it safe to say she’s loudly out now ?

    (Yep. 🙂 ~ Jenny)

  39. This is a beautiful tribute to the human you made! My daughter came out last year at 12 years old, as well. She was lucky to have great supportive friends and her father and I who love her exactly the way she came. Wishing your family all the light and love possible! We are excited to attend our first Pride event in 2019 and show our love and support for the whole community. I am thinking about having a free mom hugs booth for people who just need a mom hug!

  41. Hailey is as beautiful, inside and out, as they come, and I’m not only saying that so that you’ll post more videos with her brilliant laughter in them (though if you want to do that, I’m down). Tell her she’s a hero for me. Also, tell me where she got that t-shirt, because it’s awesome. And then smile a little brighter, because you’re doing something right to raise such an amazing person!

  42. You are amazing parents to an amazing kiddo. Raising a teenage girl is HARD FUCKING WORK and I’m super proud of you. And you can always come to Seattle and attend Pride here. My kiddo and her dad have been walking in it for years, long before she was out to us as Bi. We raise her to be loving and accepting of all types, though admittedly we all struggle with accepting those who do not accept us (work in progress).

  43. My Mom can’t whistle. You are one furiously blessed Mom. Don’t regret how you responded. Sometimes there is no right or wrong just what happened and where you go from there. Thank you for being a bright light of honesty to this Mom.

  46. Gorgeous post. Thank you to you and Hailey for sharing your story. As a parent of teens, I completely understand the fucking up and the desire for safe passage. I just love them so much you know? Doing the best I can, and celebrating the best of them, in solidarity with you.

  47. What a wonderful story. Halley is so lucky to have y’all and y’all are so lucky to have such an amazing daughter. Congrats to you all. ❤️💜💙🌈

  48. I love how much love you and Victor have for your child, and how completely you accept her for who she is. That makes all the difference, doesn’t it. Building a better world one child at a time. Well done.

  49. What a lovely tribute to your beautiful daughter. Hailey is in a supportive, loving home with parents who accept all facets of her personality and life. It should be that way for all children.

  51. ALL THE YES. So much support and pride. What an amazing young lady. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

  52. Im mom to a fabulous unicorn too <3 You are both amazing. One of the bravest things a person can do is unapologetically embrace who they are <3

  53. I’m very proud of my adopted princess Iwish Haley the best in life and all haters can hmm off! May godbless you both I can relate its OK god loves us all and I love you all keep shining my beautiful princesses be you gay lesbian bisexual or transgender sorry for my spelling I fared love you allbe kind be nice but stay strong and honestim not perfect just a old disabled man but I’m very proud of you all

  54. I am so glad she feels comfortable letting her full story be known. We often take for granted what living our full truth really means. At 14 she is getting a head start on a lot of us. Keep showing her what living as part of the Rainbow means. Let her lead her own story. You know, basically just keep doing what you’re doing. 🙂

  55. awww, this made me cry. I wish my mom would have been as supportive as you! You and Hailey are both amazing people that I am so lucky to have met! Tell Hailey You go girl! for me 🙂

  56. Beautiful story, beautiful daughter. We do our best with this parental role. Always second guessing ourselves. There’s no manual (unfortunately). Keep doing you.

  62. Could not be more proud if she was my own daughter. So many girls her age have no idea who they are and spend most days trying so hard to be someone else. Seems like she and you were matched perfectly for life. There is a reason all other animals send their young off into the world and never hear from them again. Parenting is hard. Loving is hard.

  63. “Except? It is a big deal. Maybe not to me or you, but to her. And by not taking it seriously and discussing it I think she thought that we didn’t care, or that we didn’t think it was important. It’s easy for me to say that the world is so much more open and caring than every before but that ignores the fact that everything a teenage girl goes through is viewed through the lens of low self-esteem and fear and shame and hormones and that is all magnified if there’s also an otherness that you are carrying around with you…a fear that comes every time she explains who she is. Everything in junior high sucks but there’s an added layer of hell that comes with knowing you’re not like everyone else.”<<

    Thank you for this. <3

  65. Welcome, youngling! There are so many of us out here who can’t wait to celebrate you at our next PRIDE event – even if it’s only in our hearts.

  66. Please tell Hailey “thank you” for trusting us enough to share this part of herself. You’re lucky to have her as a daughter and she’s lucky to have you for parents.

  67. I think Hailey is extremely lucky to have supportive parents and circle so she can be herself. In a world that will not always be kind, having a soft place to land is important.
    HIgh school is a hard place for the LGBTQ community. ROCK ON HAILEY with your awesome self and let the haters hate themselves. Because that’s who they truly hate anyway.

  69. She is everything lovely and wonderful, and kids like her give me hope for the future.

  73. Her smile lights up the room. She is so lovely and I am so proud of her. You and Victor are wonderful parents.

  74. It makes me so happy to see a parent who loves their child no matter what instead of the kinds of parents I grew up with. Hailey is a beautiful girl and she has wonderful parents! Thank you for sharing her story 🙂

  75. I’m glad she felt comfortable enough with herself to allow you to publish this. As a result, she’s got an international support system that will be there for her for the unfortunately inevitable time that some jackass treats her poorly because of who she loves. Keep being awesome, Hailey! We’ve got your back.

  77. What a great story! I’m 100% hard core thinking now…my niece told me she was pan this summer and my response was okay. I’ve been worried ever since…as she lives in a different city I see her maybe once a year and maybe she doesn’t know that my okay is b/c to me it is not something she should have to announce to the world. I love her one way or the other and whoever she loves is just that who she loves. Thanks, for the words I have a lot of thinking to do.

  78. You’re a wonderful mom and you both have support from our strangle little family in Or.

  79. Hailey is amazing girl and you guys are amazing parents. Honestly, I don’t see why this should even matter. She is Hailey and she is beautiful. Who she loves doesn’t change anything and I don’t know why people make a fuss about this – one is who one is; nothing to be ashamed of; nothing to be proud of. Hailey is just … Hailey! And she is wonderful!
    ❤❤❤

  80. Hailey, your parents are so proud of you, and so are all of us who have caught glimpses of your life over the years.

  84. You are the people that make the world worthwhile! Go forth, Hailey, and build the world you want to see!

  85. Amazing parents = an amazing kid. While my heart breaks for those kiddos who don’t have the love and support you show your daughter, she’s been blessed with parents who are the best in what parents should be.

  88. As the parent of a 17 yo struggling to find their place as a non-binary, maybe trans, maybe gay person, thank you for sharing this aspect of Hailey’s life. I appreciate your honesty that as parents we fuck up all the time. Today I feel like a real fuck up, but it’s nice to know I’m not alone! Proud of Hailey, Victor and you!

  89. She’s beautiful and all that, but she can whistle?!? Now that’s something to celebrate! I think we should have parades for people who can whistle! (Seriously, I can only whistle by sucking air IN rather than blowing it out, and even at that it’s a crapshoot whether any sound will come out.) I hugely admire people who can whistle.

  90. I am 41 and still can’t keep my room clean. Solidarity, Hailey! So glad she has such excellent, supportive parents and some good friends.

  91. At a time when I’ve felt we’ve made no progress at all, this reminds me that we have.

  94. Not that you really need our validation, but if she were just a fraction as awesome as her mother, she would be amazing! She is that and more. You and Victor did good, Jenny.

  95. HAYULL YAYUH!! This made me smile/tear! I am a major proponent of letting your children be independent people! My daughter is a senior in high school, and is a theater geek who sings and also sometimes does stand-up. One of her avowed principles when doing comedy is to make as many adults uncomfortable as she can. So, she did this bit at last New Year’s Day “100 1st JOKES” show in Austin:
    “When I tell people I’m 95% lesbian, they always ask what that means. So I’m going to tell y’all what that means: It means I really love women, but I wouldn’t turn down a chance to fuck Vin Diesel or Jason Momoa.”

  96. I am abso-fucking-lutely proud of her. From what I know of her, she is an amazing young woman. I hope that my nieces are as brave as she when they are her age.

    Hailey, you are a ROCKSTAR.

  97. All the stories you tell about her make her seem like an amazing young woman and I’d say you’re doing an awesome job raising her. Also I love her shirt in those pictures.

  98. She’s grown up in front of more people than most people ever will, and Ihope she knows there’s nothing but love from this side of the glass

  99. I am gay, too, although I didn’t figure it out until way later.
    Welcome to the family, Hailey. <3

  100. You handled her coming out really well- except for the “no big deal” part! You are correct, Ma- it is a VERY BIG deal to a young person, coming to terms with her sexuality in general! As you know now! I am in awe of all parents who love and support their children. You and Victor are amazing . Isn’t it sad, though, that there are still people who feel they have to hide who they are from the world? And worse, from their family.
    Tell Hailey she absolutely has a divine right to BE WHO SHE IS! 🔆🔆🔆🔆

  103. I am crying. What a beautiful family.What a beautiful life. Congratulations to both of you for being such an inspiration!

  104. I am much more blown away by the news she takes opera lessons! That is a fairly marvelous thing. She sounds like an amazing younvg woman and I am glad to know she is in the world.

  106. I hope my daughter grows up just like her.

    Well, I mean, not just like her. That would be some weird doppleganger shit. But you know.

  108. This is a wonderful story, and she is a beautiful young woman. You can be very proud of her!! Being of the generation where this was never thought about or talked about, I am so proud that we have come this far (still a long way to go!) and everyone who’s ready can be who they are.

  109. I’m so proud of Haley! She sounds like a wonderful person and it’s great she has such supportive parents.

    My child came out as transfeminine/non binary a few years ago and I worried that I was a little too low key in my response as well. I completely support them and wondered if I made it seem like no big deal, which of course, it was to them. They’re now 19 and away at college and doing great!

  110. I always feel a little weird being proud of people’s kids when I only know them through their limited online presence, but I’m so proud of Hailey. She’s awesome.

  111. So wonderful to be open. I wish I’d been supported when I was growing up. Instead I was shunned and basically ignored. Many of us are Bi when the right one comes along. You are a strong and wonderful family and role model!

  112. Thank you for sharing your truth with us Hailey!!! You are amazing and will do great things!!!

  114. I agree, I can’t wait until we don’t need parades. But in the meantime I’ll be marching right along with my rainbow and my pink pussy hat and my black lives matter sign!

  115. Please tell her that this 53 year old lesbian is damn proud of her! I wish I could have voiced that when I was her age…it took me till I was 22 to figure it out and put a name on it. You both are great parents and she is is a fantastic young woman!

  116. Lady – never apologize for raising a strong, confident, and good human being. Our kids are the ones that will fix the mess we’ve made of the world.

  117. One of our sons is gay. He didn’t come out until he was in college. When he told us, we jumped up and down in celebration and hugged him tight. We are enormously proud of him for being exactly who he is. Our only condition…. he still has to provide us a few grandchildren. Surrogate. Adoption. Who cares. We want babies!!! 👶🏼👶🏽👶🏾

  118. I’m absolutely proud of her. Hailey, don’t ever let anyone tell you NOT to be who you are, or that it’s not enough. It’s magical.

  119. I’m very proud of you, for being the light she can see no matter where she goes. Hailey – you just keep on being fantastically, amazingly you!

  120. Hailey – continue to embrace who you are and appreciate the amazing parents that you have!

  121. If your child ( or my child) is lucky enough to find someone that she loves that loves her back and they treat each other well the rest is just details.

  122. Of course I’m proud. Good on ya kid!
    I am a mother to an amazing daughter who just happens to be bisexual. I was kind of sad that she had to come “out” at all. I can’t imagine having to sit down and tell my parents, “Hey guys, I’m straight!”. Hell, I didn’t want them to have ANY knowledge about my love life at all! Damn, I’m 48, and I’ve been married for 29 years. And guess what? I still don’t want them contemplating about my love life. LOL
    All I want for my child (and yours) is a loving partner who appreciates the fantastic being that she is. I want that for everyone.

  123. You and your family are such wonderful, amazing people. The world could use more people like you!

  124. My daughter is 11 and exclaims fiercely that she is gay, despite unrequited crushes and tense elementary school personnel. I had the same thoughts as you, is she just testing her identity? Time will tell. No matter what, I tell her that she can exclaim that she is a giraffe for all I care, I love her just the same. Our girls ROCK! Thanks for sharing, Jenny!

  125. God bless you all! You are wonderful parents and have raised her well. Best wishes and Godspeed on the incredible journey through this all!

  126. Oh, Jenny, I don’t comment often, but I am now. You have done so much to make me feel not alone and ready to handle my mental illness, work, parenting, and negotiating everyday life. You’ve made me laugh so many times and helped me find that still center of acceptance. Now you also are the mom of a Queer young teenager, and that is something else we share. You are a gift to me, and a gift to so many out there. Thank you for sharing your perspective and your ups and downs. Your daughter is an amazing soul. Her pictures glow with purpose and beauty. She’s got this.

  128. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ All the love for Hailey – and you for being an awesome mom! Xxxxxx

  129. Quite simply, Hailey is an amazing, delightful, inspirational young person and I’m sure she understands that while you don’t care who she loves (genderwise) you care about her happiness and comfort and being who she is. <3
    I adore your entire family and my personal challenges always seem a little easier to bear when I remember what you all overcome every day.

  131. Such an amazing story. I feel honored that Hailey felt that she could have you share her tale with us. She’s beautiful and has amazing parents. Yo love and support her and that’s what matters.

  132. I’m so glad that I took the time to read this… I think I would have also defaulted to acting like it’s no big deal (because to me it isn’t) but I think you are correct in that not being the best response. My kiddos are 8 & 10 and while we’ve not had this conversation, I wouldn’t be surprised if we do in the next few years. I’ll try to remember reading this and handling it with the grace of yourself and Victor. I’ve always admired Hailey for unabashedly embracing the joy in the world that others might consider “odd” or “weird” and now I have another reason to admire her!

  134. She is the epitome of grace. There isn’t a road map for how we should respond when people share their truths with us, but acceptance and love and compassion (and maybe syrup?) are always the right response. Bless.

  135. This is awesome. I have a friend whose daughter came out to her and she’s supportive but bio-dad was a f*ck-nut (AKA a Clitwit). After a time, the daughter disowned bio-dad and was adopted by her stepdad. It was lovely. I’m hopeful reading all these wonderful supportive people here that we will all be the future of the world.

  137. my niece was lesbian and then she was goth and then she was bi
    Who knows where life will lead you. What is soooo cool is her and your acceptance of who she is no matter what that might be or not be. YAY!

  138. Live your best, authentic life, Hailey! And thanks for this story–I might have been too cavalier about the declaration myself. Now I know.

    And knowing is half the battle. <– I couldn’t resist.

  139. Thank you for sharing this. My Hailey who is 12 came out as gay to me a week ago today. My response was “ok but you still need to study.”

  140. I am where you were two years ago. My daughter came out to me and her dad as bi this past spring, right before her 12th birthday. And I had a similar reaction to you – that we support her and love her no matter what and that it’s fine with us. But, I’ve been wondering, too, if perhaps it’s a phase to try on and see what it’s like, as we are in liberal eastern MA and it’s totally okay here. I still sometimes wonder if it’s a phase, but i don’t think it is. I’m so proud of her – she’s comfortable with who she is, she joined the Gay/Straight Alliance at school, and she’s told many of her friends. And I worry for her, but most of all I’m proud of her. And I’m proud for you, Victor and Hailey. But it is scary as a parent. No doubt about it.

  141. I’m so proud of her being able to be herself in the ways she needs. That she has has super supportive parents is everything. I’ve tried to make sure my son knows that he can always tell me anything and that no matter what I will love him through everything. With the age of social media, so many of our children are more mature, and relating to the outside world. I believe we have the power to help them and show so many more how to seek guidance in these trying times. Keep up the dialogue, listen with our hearts more and stay open minded.

  142. This. This is my life…with my oldest kiddo. We jokingly say he was the last one to figure out he was gay. And he’s amazing and so tolerant of his mom’s ‘ooooh, wanna go to the Pride parade?!?!?’ excitement. It’s really encouraging to watch him get more and more comfortable in his own skin. And while it’s nerve-wracking to balance my desperate need to shove a ton of support information down his throat versus letting him do him, it’s also so exciting. Kudos to her for sharing her story!!!

  143. she is truly wise beyond her years. i’m proud to call her “woman.” she has is beautiful, brilliant, talented and brave. go, hailey!

  145. After watching what my brother went through coming out I became a lot more understanding of what that takes. I am glad Haley gets the support she does on her life’s journey. You should be proud of your awesome kid.

  147. You’re doing everything right by her, momma. ☺️ She’s a beautiful person, both inside and out.

  148. Love to you and Victor and Hailey! Our oldest child came out to us as non-binary in the last year, after a long year of talking “around” the subject with us. They are also in a school that is very supportive of all the wonderful variety of being human. I’m so glad they are growing up in this world, and I hope we can keep it going for them!

  149. Such a beautiful story. I have twins (boy & girl) that are about the same age as Hailey so I can definitely relate to a lot of your stories. It’s definitely a different world for them and as a parent, its scary navigating them through it. Much love!

  150. Hailey is very lucky to have such loving and supportive parents. I wish you all only the best. Brava to you for using your public forum to hopefully open some minds and make the way easier for not only Hailey but for everyone who is forced by this society to be courageous in embracing their true selves.

  153. This just made me happy cry. Everyone deserves parents as lovely as you and Victor. Well done, Lawson’s! Well. Done. 🙌💗

  154. Well this made happy tears come to my eyes. So glad Hailey has accepting and loving parents. Also, important question, WHAT IS THE LIPSTICK HAILEY IS WEARING? Good god that shade is gorgeous.

  156. Honestly I think you responded much the same way I would have. My stepdaughter dated boys all through high school but came home on a break from college with a girlfriend. She never really “came out” and we never had that conversation but I think she knew that both her parents loved and accepted her. I wonder if she always knew but was afraid to own it until she was away at school.

    Maybe Hayley wanted more support 2 years ago but I think you did OK. You gave her unconditional love and acceptance.

  158. Sending so much love and support to your family, and to all children and adults who struggle with their ‘otherness.’ You matter. You are here for a reason. You deserve happiness and love and all the good things. Jenny, I am so incredibly grateful to be a part of this tribe. We are living proof that even broken crayons can still color, and often the broken crayons are the most beautiful, because we may have been broken, but we shine on!

  160. I’m so glad she has parents who love and accept her for exactly the young woman she is. I’m proud of her and I’m proud of you as a parent.

  161. I’m proud of all y’all. Awesome kid, awesome parents. Go forth and continue to be awesome.

  163. I am awestruck over being included as a witness to this part of your family’s life. This type of communication (on any topic) is not something that was encouraged; I never experienced it as a child, or even as an adult. Hailey is a remarkable, beautiful soul … and her parents helped her reach for the stars.

  166. It is so important to have support in those stages where you are really figuring yourself out (not limited to teenage years). Good for you, Victor, and Haley for navigating that safely.

  169. Love and hugs to Haley for embracing her true self, whatever form that takes. She’s very lucky to have such supportive and loving parents. Love to you all!

  170. But did she hand you the syrup? And might she be interested in dating a pretty freshman from Oregon? Maybe the distance is too big a hurdle for now, but I can dream of my daughter having fabulous in-laws like you all someday.

  171. You’re such a great mom. I hope to be as great a mom to my kids are you are to Hailey!

  172. After reading this blog post, I had to go back and change my like to a love on FB. This is amazing. Hailey is amazing. You are amazing. Be yourself without fear and shine bright. Love is love. You all have got this.

  173. Great and wonderful post! Your daughter is an amazing person no matter who she loves and I am so happy she has two parents that support her. Not everyone is as lucky, even in 2018 unfortunately.

    I understand why these celebrations and pride stuff exists and it is meant to fight for a good thing or is suppose to be a good thing , but for true equality to truly happen we also need to stop having those in my honest and brutal opinion. I support all walks of life (except for serial killers, pedos etc but even then perhaps they can be saved even?) and I respect everyone the same. I support and think we should be allowed to love whoever we choose. However, neither should be celebrated or made out to be ‘prideful’ I did not have to have some deep discussion with my parents on how I am heterosexual, and homosexuals or whatever it may be shouldn’t have to either. If it is true equality than it is the same for all. I fear the pride parades, social media hype or whatever it is actually more damaging. The more we hype it up I feel we are saying it is still different when really it is not to me. ‘Hi, I’m straight.’ ‘Cool, nice to meet you I am gay’ SWEET move on. I also have heard at some of these pride parades things can get a bit out of hand and way over the top. Like I don’t need to see a man walking down the street wearing a thong or whatever the eff to support trans, dressing as the opposite sex I am not sure what this proves??? to support LGBT because I also don’t want to see a woman doing that either. Some people are also way too sensitive and very quick to pull the homophobic card these day. Calling people hateful because they made a comment on two men making out in public. I am like maybe they are not homophobic they just don’t want people making out anywhere in public no matter the sexual orientation. I hope what I am saying makes sense. I am not hating on ayone, I just think sometimes these kind of events can be counterproductive. For true equality we all need to shut up about it and let people love or do whatever they please with no judgement. If it is the same as heterosexual than you don’t get a parade just like I didn’t get a damn parade.

  174. You go, Hailey! Be true to yourself, and with a mum and dad who love and support you, you can reach for the stars. Wishing all your family much happiness xxx

  176. I will tell myself you handled and are handling this relationship beautifully. I say this because I could have written almost the same story about my daughter. It’s wonderful and painful to watch children develop their understanding of who they are.

  177. She’s amazing and I thank her for sharing her story. You have a truly wonderful family.

  179. You’re all amazing and such a great family! Well done, Hailey, for recognizing your true self. You’re so lucky to have a family that loves and supports you for who you are. I hope my daughter feels the same way in her life too.

  180. Love this post! My 13-year-old has known he was gay since first or second grade. We always suspected and our hunch was confirmed when he was in fourth or fifth grade. Now he’s proudly out, and as we always say, it’s just one part of him. This is both the best and worst time to be LGBTQ. Sending hugs in solidarity!

  182. Thank you for sharing this. Your family is beautiful and amazing, and it is so wonderful that you are so supportive and mindful. I have so many friends whose families turn their back on their children for being themselves. Much better to react too little than too much!

  183. Fantastic. Thanks for sharing, and to Hailey for being so brave.

    I’m staggered by your line “You’re only as happy as your saddest child.” Like, gasping. My daughter is struggling with Panic and Anxiety disorder and I am surprised by how miserable it has made me. This swept that all up into a statement I can understand.

    Thank you.

  185. You are an amazing person, Hailey. So brave and talented. Some girl will be really lucky to have you some day. Nothing changes, you are still you. Much love

  187. And, just to clarify, I am NOT saying that being any part of LGBTQA+ means you are broken. It was my way of saying that those of us who are often struggling in their ‘otherness’ have seen some shit, if you will, and keep on going. And, whether that shit comes from being mentally ill, gay, too tall, too short, too skinny, too fat, too this-that-the-other, we keep living. There is great power in letting our weird lights shine, and knowing we are not as alone as we feel. This tribe makes me feel like finally, I have somewhere where even I can be me, without judgement.

  188. Proud of both of you! She is stunning, and talented and so incredibly blessed to have you and Victor as parents ❤️

  189. Y’all are great parents and I am so proud of u r daughter as well. My daughter came out to us as bi recently and though I already suspected for over a year now I know it must have been hard for her. However I took it similarly in stride as she approached me in the kitchen while I was cooking. I did hug her and tell her that was fine and I was proud to her for coming forward.we have friends who are gay and bi and I’ve always told my children that I would never judge them for choices or anyone else and would love them no matter what.

  192. I am proud of your whole family! It should never be a issue who/what anybody identifies as. Power to her for not hiding. Power to you for letting H. take the lead on this.

  193. What a beautiful young woman and so lucky to have accepting parents. So glad she is feeling confident enough now to let you tell her story!

  194. I’m so proud of her, and you and your husband! It is a big deal–and I’m so honored that she chose to share it openly with us. You are such a lovely family.

  195. You and Victor are wonderful parents and she is an amazing young woman.
    You are a beautiful family.

  196. My daughter just turned 15 a few months ago and we’ve had a similar experience. She is in the “unsure of who she is” catagory though and has friends who are gay, bi,and trans. Hubby was a very late bloomer and didn’t like girls until later in High School. She seems to be having the same experience. She’s had boyfriends and had a girlfriend last year. Each time she breaks up with them and says she just doesn’t have those feelings that everyone else has. I told her to just be patient and those feelings will eventually come for someone. I love her and accept her if she’s straight, gay, bi, or asexual. I’ve tried not to minimize her feelings when I tell her to just be patient because there’s no rush. She loves you and was asking to listen to Furiously Happy on the way home last night. She feels like you get her struggle with being the odd one at school. Thank you.

  197. So, so proud of her.

    I used to think, as a lesbian, I wasn’t allowed to be happy, to have an amazing wife, to have kids…my family grieved this and me as though I were dying. Fast forward to now, and I have that amazing wife, and a daughter, and I can’t imagine what it would have felt like to have parents like you guys. So I guess what I’m saying is…good job, mama. I’m proud of all of you. Let’s just love and accept our kids as they are, right? Is that so hard?

  198. Holy shit! Is it weird that I feel honored that she let us in? Fuck yeah Hailey!

  199. She is obviously becoming an amazing young woman. You are amazing. Parenting is hard and I think you are doing a great job!! As always, I wish you and your family nothing but the very best of everything!

  200. You are all lucky to have one another, and I am so grateful for you! I will share my favorite coming out story – my friend was (understandably) terrified to tell her mom she was gay, and when she finally did, her mom sighed and said “Honey, I don’t care if you’re a lizard. Just don’t shed on the sofa”. It always makes me giggle.

  201. This post brings me joy, and renews my faith in humanity. My daughter is 13 as well, and shared the news she is gay with me a year ago. She thought I would be upset with her, but I had much the same reaction as you…… I have always said, “you love who you love.”

    We haven’t marched in any parades, but if she asks to, I will gladly walk beside her. My daughter was so excited when the rainbow flag, and pan flag arrived. They hang in her room brightly.

  202. Congratulations Hailey on living your truth and generally being awesome! As an out and proud, happily married lesbian myself, I can tell you that the world is full of magic and wonder and love and occasional heartbreak and that it is all a wonderful adventure and even better when you can walk through the world strong in the knowledge of who you are. Be bold and kind, dear, the world needs more like you!

  203. Your daughter is awesome and you guys are great to be so supportive! It makes my heart happy and I wish Hailey all the best in love and life!

  204. This just made me cry! So happy for you and your beautiful daughter. My favourite saying at the moment is “We contain multitudes” and that is so very true of Hailey. I wish her all the best for love and happiness in the future.

  206. “….and is so much more multifaceted…”
    Like the diamond she is. Shine on, sweet girl, the world needs your light!

  207. So, so, so proud of her. She’s amazing. Watching her grow up through your stories is a privilege. She’s so talented and brilliant, and I wish I had a fraction of her courage and self possession and intelligence at her age. And now. Or ever.

  208. This is brilliant. Congratulations, Hailey! I didn’t come out till much later and I was still terrified (My mom almost immediately asked me what was up with Lady Gaga, because apparently all queers know about Lady Gaga). I hope you find so much love and happiness in your life.

  210. Your daughter is awesome and you guys are great for being so supportive. I didn’t know that much about myself at her age so I’m in awe of how together she is. I hope she had the best in love and life!

  211. YAY Hailey!!! YAY Mom!!! YAY Dad!!! Thank you for trusting us. Sending you all lots of L O V E

  212. Hailey sounds like an awesome young woman. She is courageous and I’m so proud of her. ❤️❤️❤️

  213. I came out as bi when I was 13. My mom cried and told me that she was worried if I would ever have children. My dad told me that it was a phase and I was doing it for attention. When I brought my first girlfriend home he refused to look at her. He still tells me that being bisexual is not a thing. I’m 19 and out happily to my moms side of the family and my friends. I’m in a long term relationship and planning my life with a guy who knows I’m bi and understands. My dad’s side of the family will never know. My grandmother happily uses gay slurs and will pull people aside to tell them why she thinks they’re going to hell. My aunts and extended family too. I still love them but it sucks to not be fully myself.

    Hailey is ia very lucky kid to have parents like you and Victor. She’s a good kid with a good heart.

  215. Whoo-hoo! Welcome to our team, Haley! You look a lot like your mom, which is a really good thing.

  216. Thank you, Hailey, for sharing this part of your story and your self. Being yourself and sharing it with the world makes it a better place, without question. And thank YOU, Jenny, for sharing YOUR part of this story. I recently had a near-identical conversation with my own pre-teen daughter and had very much the same reaction you did. This is some wonderful food for thought on how I can make it clearer to her that I genuinely embrace ALL of her.
    So much love to you all, thank you for being brave and awesome, thank you for being yourselves and choosing to share it with so many of us.

  217. i see the change in society. even my most conservative friends don’t really care who loves who(m?). it might be slight, but it’s there. and congrats to hailey for being her authentic self. that’s hard to do at 40, let alone 14!

  218. My daughter also came out to me when she was about 12. LGBTQ+ teens are so cool. But it is hard to know how to parent them sometimes. It’s hard to know how to parent teens at all! But especially the not-so-straight and/or not-so-binary ones. And I SO want to be the best possible parent for her. But I also really believe that talking about them and telling their stories (with their permission!) is a way to help make the world a better place for them. And show them how proud we are of them including and because of who they are. (And we’ve been the Boston Pride twice with my daughter. It was awesome. And also – big enough that she didn’t run unto anyone she knew. Which I think let her feel acknowledged and celebrated and also anonymous at the same time. Maybe going to a Pride parade in a different city is an easier way to start?)

  220. From one internet stranger, just wanted to say that Hailey – you are brave, and beautiful, and amazing. You make the world a better place just by being you. We need you here in this world to be YOU, and this post makes me so happy to see you embracing that. Parents have this tough job of knowing how to love and support us and help us fly – but I think your parents are doing a pretty great job, and it sounds like they must love you a whole lot. Praying that your future stays as bright and beautiful as you are.

    Jenny – keep doing the next right thing. We all believe in you💜

  224. As a queer man, I have to say, the most important thing you left out was…what kind of syrup was being passed? Maple? Blueberry? Strawberry? These details are important. All kidding aside–it’s hard to gauge what type of reaction is best for someone’s coming out. Some people want a blase attitude–some want glitter and sparkles and dancing (think “The Wiz” when Evillene dies). I think as long as you made it clear that you loved her (and I’m 200% sure you did), you didn’t fuck up at all. There’s plenty of time for musical numbers later.

  225. How wonderful! I’m so glad she felt comfortable enough to come out and live her truth at such a young age. You’re doing things right.

  226. Yay for all of you and especially Hailey. Both my husband’s and my families refused to acknowlege gay children–the results were cruel and unforgivable. This world needs more rainbows.

  227. Congrats to Hailey for being brave to come out to all of us. The world is changing but, unfortunately, not fast enough. When you think about how some parents handle the news, I think it was brilliant to not make it a big deal. You are letting her be herself and create and share her story in her own way. That’s awesome!

  228. you guys are the most awesome people I have ever “met”. This gave me all the feels- you are an amazing woman who has helped mold an amazing daughter.

  230. It is hard parenting a teen (or 2). Hindsight is always 100% (or whatever the saying is). Yay Hailey glad you can be yourself, and yes, thanks to all of those who have gone before, it’s unimaginable what they did and the conditions they did it in. Awesomeness all around, past and future. No matter who or how you identify kindness is the biggest thing of them all.

  232. Hailey, you are amazingly, uniquely you and this world is a brighter, better place for having you in it! I am so glad that God gave you to your parents, who are amazingly, uniquely them and the perfect parents to raise such a great kid! Wishing you all bright and wonderful things in the years ahead!

  233. Yay, good job Jenny
    My kid started Gender Sexuality Alliance club at her middle school. I am scared of her getting bullied.
    She wore a pride flag as a cape that day. She is proud.

  234. The immortal Harvey Milk said that it was his hope that no child would ever again think they were the only one. I’m so happy that for Hailey and for so many others, there are examples of happy and successful LGBTQ people out there. Being accepted by those you love and not feeling alone is incredibly important.

    My generation struggled with coming out. I wasn’t fully out until my Sophmore year in college. That’s years and years of being afraid of people, including people I considered friends and family, finding out who I was. No child should ever have to experience that.

    Thanks for the awesome story, Hailey. I look forward to reading the next chapter.

  237. Gorgeous girl (not what 14 year olds looked like in my day – but maybe I’m just bitter.)

    She’s lucky to have you. In the past few months I’ve become very aware at how hard it is for LGBTQ+ kids in today’s social/political climate. It takes gut to just be themselves. My kid came out as trans recently and I have learned so much. We went to our first pride this summer.

  238. I’m so happy for Hailey, that she has very supportive parents and can be totally herself. My oldest (also named Haley) came out as pansexual and non-binary, and my youngest as transgender just in the past few years, as adults. They both say they repressed feelings and didn’t really even know they were LGBTQ when they were younger, probably because when they were kids we tried being a good Christian family and I’m sure I inadvertently or maybe not so inadvertently sent them the message that being LBGTQ was a sin – which I feel horrible about now. Haley had several gay friends and it was partly getting to know them that made me start changing my thoughts and beliefs (also a documentary about intersex people that really made me think a lot about the science of it all). I’m thankful I finally came around in time to be totally supportive of my transgender granddaughter when she came out at age 7 (apparently it runs in our family), and both kids when they told me. I think the fact that your Hailey felt comfortable enough to tell you at such a young age speaks volumes!

    The TL;DR version – Hailey is awesome and you and Victor are amazing parents! <3

  239. You are wonderful parents. My Mother couldn’t handle it when I waited to get married at 19….this was in the 1960’s!!!!!

  240. I also have the concern about some kids trying on LGBTQ identities who may later decide they don’t fit, but it’s so lovely that your amazing daughter knows herself and can be herself at her own pace in a loving family.

  241. Hailey has such self-awareness and strength for her age it astounds me! When I was 12 I didn’t even understand what “gay” was, but looking back I understand that I was definitely drawn to girls as well as boys from a fairly young age. Still, at 37 I can’t imagine coming out to my parents. While I’m not necessarily okay with the fact that they may never truly know me, I also don’t feel ready to break their hearts for the sake of lifting a weight off my own. I am so incredibly grateful that Hailey will never have to carry this weight. The world needs more parents like you and Victor!

  243. I love love love love this. You guys are awesome, and I am so happy for Hailey that she felt ready to share with your readers. Keep being true to yourself, kiddo!

  244. Jenny, that was fantastic of you to post that. However, much like your syrup comment all I was shocked by in there was that she can’t write cursive. She’s is a great kid, and she needs to know what a wonderfully brave and self aware being she is. It’s rare at her age. No cursive though?

  245. I have so many feelings. Haley you are awesome! I wish I was brave enough to accept who was at that age. I’m almost 30 and barely started on that journey. I’m aromantic asexual.

  246. I cannot understand parents calling themselves parents yet not accepting and loving their whole child. But, I know that happens, as friends of our children have sheltered in our home after their parents threw them out for having come out. I cannot understand that behavior. My children are my children. Forever. No matter what. And, for that reason, it almost seems ridiculous to write a post like this, one expressing support for one’s child. Shouldn’t supporting one’s child be such the norm that discussing it is ridiculous? Sadly, that’s not the case. So, while I celebrate your unconditional support of your daughter (and mine of my daughters and sons), I’m saddened by the fact that is considered an exceptional thing to do, rather than simply the basis of parenting it is, by so many.

  248. My daughter is 17 and originally came out to us as lesbian. She later ammended it to bi. My son
    Is 19 and came out as bi but later ammended it to pan. Sexuality can be fluid, especially when you are young and exploring. I also encouraged my kids not to label themselves, and both found their labels broadened as they met and fell in love with new people. I don’t honestly care anything about the genitals of the people they love. I care about their hearts. Oddly enough, they have both landed in heterosexual relationships currently.

    I hope when Hailey is ready to date, she finds people with good hearts. She is lucky to have understanding, loving, supportive parents. I was lucky to have the same in my mom and tried to model the same for my kiddos.

  250. Much love to you all. I am right where you are with my two wonderful, beautiful daughters. While I don’t give a rats ass what gender they love, I want them to be treated with respect and adored. Doesn’t matter to me who is doing that for them.

  252. The reminder that these pre-teens and teens are feeling such a particular mash-up of insecurity is important, essential. Thank you for reminding me. Hailey is awesome. You and Victor are awesome.

    I have a 14 year old, too, a boy, who has not expressed any sexual identity preferences aloud, but that’s his quiet way. He is one of the kindest and most open-minded people I know, even though he yelled “fuck you” at me several times last night (oh, I did the same to my mother and she was the best mum one could ask for). I have his back no matter what, even (especially?) when I make him frustrated enough to curse at me. I am sure I am doing many things wrong and many things right. First and foremost, he knows I love him no matter what and that I think he is brilliant, not perfect, but fucking amazing. I can say with some certainty that he trusts me, and that means so much to me.

  253. What a lucky kid! You’ve done well by her. Coming out is difficult, and while you might second guess your reaction, it was honest and came from a place of love. You can’t ask for more than that.

  255. I can’t really add much to all the fabulous posts that have already been posted, but, you are amazing parents, your daughter is amazing and you have made my day feel so much less shitty know there are still amazingly caring awesome people like you out there. Much love to all three of you. 💜

  256. My daughter just came out to me a couple of months ago. She is 12. I told her she is free to love whoever she wants, but my only condition was she find someone who treats her with respect and kindness. She hasn’t come out to other family members yet, including siblings. I am glad you posted this- I wonder if I should have said more to her that day, or if my response was enough. I am concerned about the road ahead for her and the best I can do is just be there for her.

  257. I love you. And I love Hailey. And I love love. My daughter is 20 now and I can assure you that you will make more mistakes but YOU CARE. And YOU LOVE. And in the end, it will all turn out okay. Also, having a 20 year old kid that can also be one of your best friends is kind of fucking badass so you have that to look forward to!

  258. It’s brave as FUCK to stand up and be who you are. Kudos to her, and to you and Victor for not being assholes. 🙂 You are born the way you are. Full stop.

  259. I don’t know your child very well – I know only what you’ve shared about her – but from what you’ve shared she sounds like a wonderful person that is the type of person the world needs more of.

  260. I didn’t come out to my family until I was 32. That was 2 years ago and I still struggle with the feelings of shame and acceptance. Hailey is so lucky to feel comfortable coming out to you and Victor as a 12 year old. She is amazing. Thank you both for sharing this story.

  262. Awesome. She’s so very fortunate to have parents that easily accept her for who she is and willing to follow her lead in supporting her.

    Also – my stepson told his dad that he was gay and my husband’s response was, “OK – what does that have to do with you not getting a job?” So, yeah… we don’t always handle things perfectly. We honestly thought he was saying it to get a rise out of us and he wasn’t prepared for us to be perfectly fine with it, but he really needed to get a job.

  263. Brave moms raise brave daughters. I’m proud of both of you. ❤️❤️

  264. She is a very brave beautiful young lady. My oldest came out to me this last May. He is transgender. I think part of me knew it was coming, so I also didn’t make a huge fuss over it. Maybe I should have. We are navigating some very unknown waters here and we just moved to a new town, so new school and new friends on top of that bombshell have made for some very interesting months. My parents have been supportive to us. No idea how they feel behind closed doors, but if they don’t approve they are at least respectfully keeping it to themselves. My in-law’s however are a different story. They are religious and cannot accept it. They say all they can do is love him (with the implied but not stated “until she changes her mind”) and I have decided to not even give them an audience anymore.
    I love my kids and if they are happy, I am happy. I now tell people I am a proud mum of four boys. If this IS a phase and he changes his mind, I will be a proud mum of one girl and three boys. I need them to be comfortable however they want to live their lives. I just hope I don’t fuck it up too much. 😉 I have already warned them that it is likely. 🙂

  265. Our son came out to us at 13. He couldn’t say it out loud, so he left us a letter and ran off to school. I baked him a cake. I stuck a flag on top. And when he got home we celebrated him. All of him. I too am very grateful for those that came before. And the more stories we tell, the more ok we make it. Like you said, it’s just a part of who they are. And, to be honest, it’s really nobody’s business who they fall in love with. Thank you for sharing and making the world just a tiny bit better.

  266. “You are only as happy as your saddest child”. Man, does that hit home! My youngest has decided to reject his parents full out. He is bright, creative, funny, and handsome. He got his dad’s anxiety (and other) and his mom’s depression. Poor kid. I can only hope that at some point he outgrows some of it like his older brother did. I love him fiercely but it means nothing to him. The rest of my life is pretty darn good, but I’m miserable because he is.

  268. She is a beautiful, talented, amazing person and she is lucky to have parents that are the same. It’s sad that we have to say that because we should all be able to love who we love.

  271. OMG! WOOT WOOT! You go Hailey, take that world by the balls and make it your own kid. And like your mom says the rest of the world can EFF right off! Good job on raising a great kid Mom & Dad, keep it up!

  272. I have wondered what I would say if a young person close to me told me they are gay. Like you, I would probably say okay, and because I don’t think it is a big deal, move on. Thank you for reminding me it is a big deal to whoever is telling me. Hailey was born to just the right parents. This world needs all the love there is. 💕

  273. I’m reminded of a close friend who called me one morning, fresh out of the shrink’s office, to tell me he had just come out. Having “suspected” (read: known) he was gay for almost a decade, I simply replied “Okay”. He was quite upset that I wasn’t surprised or shocked or jumping for joy, and told me later that he was extremely disappointed that his coming out didn’t include a parade with showers of confetti and a musical appearance by Diana Ross. To me, out for many years at that point, it wasn’t a big deal or a surprise, but I’ve never forgotten it was a big deal for him. I think most of us want our orientation to be okay, no big deal, nothing to write home about, but that doesn’t mean we don’t want to celebrate the effort and preparation and bravery it takes to come out.

  274. We love Hailey so much! And you and Victor are wonderful parents. HUGE HUGS TO ALL OF YOU!!!

  276. You really are a rather wonderful family. Certainly one for us drive of oddities to respect, admire, and support in any way we can, even if that’s just to say – you’re all ace.

  277. My SIL sat everyone down individually, took a big breath, and came out (but no labels on it, she wasn’t ready for that) in her late 30’s. My husband and I had nearly the same reaction as you, but closer to “Obviously. Now what do you want to drink?” She kept trying to explain, because the calm reactions from her family was unexpected, it was her friends who had reacted with complete shock and surprise. Now 20 years later she is married to a wonderful woman, and kinda settled on lesbian, but still does not like labels. There will be so many times in the future that Hailey will love that you don’t have a public reaction, because other people will follow your lead and it will suddenly be ok to just be who you are, no matter what.

  278. Reading this post and the way you support your gay teenage daughter means so much to me (and yes, maybe I’m crying a little bit).
    When I was twelve I knew that gay people existed but I did not think that being gay was something that could apply to me. Even though looking back I realize that I had my first serious crush on a girl at that age.
    At fourteen I realized that bisexuality is actually a real thing and I felt like this was the right term to describe how I felt.
    At fifteen I first came out to a few friends as bisexual. I acted as if it was no big deal. But it was and I was so scared that people would think I’m weird.
    At seventeen I realized that bisexuality was not how I identified after all, it was just a label to make it easier to accept that I’m actually a lesbian.
    When I graduated from High School (in 2012) there was one other girl in my year who was openly dating a girl, a friend of mine had come out to me as gay but told me he wasn’t ready to come out at school, and there were rumours that I was a lesbian, because I was pretty casual about it but never fully came out at school. There were over 100 students in my graduation class.

    Reading stories like Hailey’s and how supportive friends and family are means so much to me, because it shows how the world has changed for gay teenagers in just a few years. I’m sure it’s still hella scary to come out in school, but man have we taken a big step towards more openess and acceptance already!

  279. Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Beautifully written, thank you for sharing. Hugs to Hailey and all the kids who will struggle with this journey.

  281. You created a space where a twelve year old felt safe and loved enough to tell you this. Go you guys and go Hailey for knowing her own mind well enough to be herself

  282. I took my son to Pride this year. Because I am proud. Having a gay kid is like discovering a unicorn in the backyard. It’s something precious, to be treasured and protected and loved.

  283. Being a parent is hard, and yes we fuck up all the time. Hailey is a beautiful young woman, proof that you done all right ❤️

  284. Girls rule! ALL the girls rule!! (Would be nice if we actually did, but then what would the boys do then?)
    Let me repeat, GIRLS RULE!

  285. Unconditional love. This is what we promise our kids as soon as we find out that they’re growing inside us; or coming into our lives however that may be. Yes, we will screw up. Screwing up is like a right of passage into parenting. But as long as we keep our promise – to love them unconditionally – we are doing okay and they will make their way in the world on the most solid ground we’re able to provide for them. Hurray to you for loving and accepting Hailey for all that she is. After all, isn’t that what being a family is all about? Congratulations, Hailey, on your confidence. Most of us – some of us more than others cough – only get to realize who we truly are, and accept ourselves with confidence, at a much later age.

  286. That was really beautiful and made me cry and congrats on being out and loved and respected Hailey! But I have a very important question that I haven’t seen addressed in these comments, and I hope you’ll see and answer it.

    What does the bottom of her shirt say? I’m all about tacos, and that’s a great color on me so, you know.

  287. She is an awesome person and I think you and Victor are doing a great job.

  288. Your family is amazing and wonderful! I keep Hailey in mind as a guide for parenting as my girl gets older. Much love and support to the Bloggess family!

  289. First of all, to Hayley: You’re awesome and incredible and good for you for being out and open and owning who you are! It’s the young women like you, who are still honest even in the face of fear, that pave the way and make it easier for those who come after you.

    To Jenny: I remember when I came out as bi in high school. My mother didn’t believe me right away because I came out during an argument (a rash and reckless decision, but it was relevant to the argument) and it bothered me. I think it took her a while to come to terms with it, but I can’t be sure. When I told her I wasn’t sure I was a girl a few years later, trying to explain why I was so on edge and uncomfortable all the time, she was a little more understanding. She said she couldn’t imagine what that was like, but then the subject dropped and we didn’t discuss that, either.

    I’m thirty now and we’ve still never really talked about any of it. She knows. I go to Pride and wear rainbow buttons and bi-flag buttons and agender-flag buttons. So, she knows, but we still haven’t discussed it. It’s not something she really acknowledges at all until I bring it up.

    I think it’s great that Hayley has parents like you and Victor who are willing to talk about it and share her story (even after the fact). You may have been a little dismissive at first, but at least you eventually came around. The fact that Hayley said she was comfortable with you sharing this is a testament that she knows she can talk about it with you and you will acknowledge her identity. I love my mother dearly, but I would never trust her to explain my sexuality or gender identity to anyone, let alone the entire internet.

    You’re doing great, Jenny! Keep it up!

  291. The world has changed a lot since my best friend came out when we were in high school in the early 1990s. I supported her then, and I support her still today; she and her wife were just here visiting me this past weekend, in fact. It is very brave of Hailey to let you share this with so many, given your visibility (and hers, by default). It shows that she has found the strength in herself to live her truth, and that is amazing and beautiful, just like her. It’s not uncommon for families to stumble a little in the beginning. You’ve found your footing and are all walking tall together again. Thank you both for sharing this very personal piece of your lives with us. We’ve been witness to many of your personal moments, but this is truly special. <3

  294. Let’s hear it for unconditional acceptance! Welcome to your world, Hailey. Know that you are loved, respected, and accepted!

  295. I was in my mid-50s before I came out to a few trusted friends, but I grew up in an era (born in 1952) where it was very dangerous to be publically gay in the U.S. My parents loved me, but I know they wouldn’t have understood or accepted me, and there was a strong chance I would have been disowned and thrown out of my home had I told them. I’ve known I’m gay since I was 7-years old. Didn’t know the terms used, but knew I was attracted to girls. I dated the occasional boy, but only because that’s what society and my parents expected of me.

    I’m so thankful that Hailey has such loving and supportive parents like you and Victor, Jenny dear. I’m also thankful that you’re backing off and letting her take things at her own pace and comfort level.

  296. So, so happy for a positive coming out story. Rainbow hugs and love to all three of you!

  298. She is amazing!!! I was just wondering the other day, as a mom with mental health issues, what you have done that I could try so I can hopefully have as good a relationship with my kids as you do with yours! I see how my anxiety affects then and I worry. Don’t we all? Anyways, it is absolutely wonderful that you’ve both created an environment where she felt safe to explore and learn who she really was so early in her life, and that you’ve created a place that’s safe enough for her to come to you and be honest. I know we all doubt those times we didn’t do things perfectly, but I think you’ve done a pretty kick-ass job already just by creating that situation.

    Speaking of kick-ass people, my sister is a very talented neuroscientist. She is a huge proponent of helping other people in the field, and I know she would be excited to talk to Hailey, if she ever wants someone to discuss things with.

  299. Hailey, we know a little about you through your mom, and we have come to know an amazing young woman. You will wear many labels on your life, some you choose, some are placed on you. Take the ones that represent you and wear them proudly. Sometimes someone will try to place a label that doesn’t fit; you have every right to reject those. Add, subtract, change your labels as you mature, but over everything else, be proud of being Hailey.

  300. Also, to Hailey: Sorry for misspelling your name about a thousand times. I know, like, six people, all named Hayley (with two y’s) and it’s just ingrained into my brain now. Sorry again.

  301. As the oldest sister to an amazing bi-queer-gravity challenged sister, I, too, was unfazed by her proclamation. There are so many wonderful parts about who she is that this was only one of them. She’s like an onion; her layers make me cry. After having been the most wonderful girlfriend to a girl, she now has a boy crush. I’ve been told that flirting is not the same, and as she is the most awkward person I know, this is another adventure that I am happy to be on with her. winks with both eyes. It’s going to be a long adventure… Keep on rockin’ Hailey (the lipstick, the shirt, your bad-assery)

  303. Yay! Similar story — my child told me and I said, “ I thought so. Want some ice cream? We’ve talked about it but she doesn’t like parades so probably no pride for us except I want to go and give out hugs. ”

  304. I’m so proud of Hailey. And of you and Victor for having such an amazing daughter. It’s good that she knows who she is and is lucky enough to be able to live it.

  305. The most lovely coming out stories, to me at least, are those that show how it is accepted so easily by. I can see this being a center part of a glorious wedding speech 🙂
    Huge hugs for you all, I went to my first Pride march this year and loved it. I hope you guys have as much fun when you go!
    (and tell Hailey she has allies and internet aunties and uncles who will have her back all over the world)

  306. “You’re only as happy as your saddest child, after all.” Ah jeez….this got me crying at work. For a completely different reason than the topic of your post, but boy does that one sentence ring true. My 13 year old son (eldest of 3 kids) suffers from anxiety and depression, having been diagnoses at age 7. I get glimpses of happiness, like the sun breaking through on a cloudy day, when things are going good, when his mood is up, but that’s above a baseline of anxiety, worry, stress. We take it day by day sometimes, but it’s nearly impossible to remember a time when things were care-free.

  307. I had exactly the same reaction with my daughter, and I’ve also worried she didn’t think I took it seriously enough. But I don’t want to bring it up again, I want her to be ready to do it. What’s a mom to do?!

  308. I’ve watched your daughter here, growing into a lovely, silly, compassionate young woman. Who she loves is just that, who she loves ❤️ Many hugs and much love to your amazing family from this old bi broad ❤️❤️❤️

  310. You are an amazing parent and Hailey sounds like the coolest 14-year-old ever. Sending hugs for your whole wonderful family <3

  311. She has a fire in her eye and you guys lit the match. What a wonderful family you are!!! (…I hope it’s clear I meant you are all awesome and I love this post, and not that you are setting each other on fire. I’m having an anxiety day. Trying to be poetic. …sigh. You are all role models for how to be great even when you don’t feel it!)

  312. My son came out as trans when he was 11 or 12 – I had much the same reaction, except mine also included ‘oh – does that mean I get to name you again?’ The answer was no FYI – he got to pick his own name. She’s beautiful and smart and kind – you should be very proud of who you raised.

  313. Crying here. I’m so happy Hailey has good people around her who let her be who she is. The world is becoming more open, but it is still hard to be young and gay, and I applaud her courage.

    It’s hard to know whether to make a thing of it or not. It took me a long time to come out to my parents because I was all “straight people don’t have to “come out”, I’m not gonna make an announcement, they’ll figure it out eventually”. Which meant we just didn’t talk about it, and it was kinda weird. It really shouldn’t be a big deal. But I still see lesbian as part of my identity, and I don’t want that erased. So it kind of does matter, somehow.

  314. I love that you fast forward through all of the bad parts in AHS. Is that for you, or Hailey? Personally, I love the show but am squeamish so I conveniently “pretend” to not pay attention during those parts.

  315. Good for all of you. I am a lesbian, and things in general were a lot harder for us when I was that age. I couldn’t come out to my family….no way, no how. It took until I was in my mid-twenties and even then it was very hard. Credit where it is due, my family ultimately accepted me. I am always very happy to hear such a story as this, because it shows me that in spite of everything, all the ups and downs, and the current downs, some things have changed for the better. Thank you, Hailey for the courage to tell the world through your amazing Mom, and never forget how amazing and full of natural beauty you are yourself.

  316. This is everything. Also ” You’re only as happy as your saddest child, after all.” made me cry. I don’t know why

  317. My son came out to us several years ago as a twenty-something. It wasn’t a big surprise, I think we always had an inkling this was the case. But he is who he is and we love him for who he is, that won’t change.

  318. Crying. You are a wonderful mother. The fact that she can confide these things to you at such a young age speaks volumes about the kind of relationship you have. She seems truly magnificent.

    I could never keep my room clean either…

  319. Kudos to you as a parent! My son came out in 5th grade as gay. We knew for a long time. A llot of our family thought he was confused or just being trendy. He’s in 8th grade now. It’s def not a phase. The kid has never had a crush on a girl and he’s into fashion and polishing his nails and wearing a mix of girl and boy clothes and accessories. We love him no matter who he identifies as. I wish people would be more understanding that young tweens and teens are capable of making decisions about who they like.

  320. You, Hailey, and Victor are all awesome. Please accept this reassurance from a stranger on the internet: Y’all are doing it right. Much love to all of you.

  321. Opera lessons?!?!?! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you’re ever in Kansas City with her, bring her by the Lyric Opera offices and I’ll give her a tour!

  322. Love this, and I loved that you were aware enough to realize it might be a big deal to her even though it wasn’t at all to you! Also, I’m completely in love with Hailey’s lip color!

  324. I came out to my mum three years ago and honestly, I would have liked for her to make it a bit of a big deal because it really was for me and she basically just ignored it. I don’t think she ever really thought about her reaction or even if she did she’d never tell me so I’m really happy for Hailey because having such amazing parents who care and who think about their actions is just great. You are a wonderful family.

  326. Beautiful. Brave. Compassionate. Words which clearly describe your daughter… and her mother. 😊

  327. She’s a wonderful girl and she’s lucky to have such wonderful parents. I’m so glad young people can be out and proud these days without adults running around with their “You’ll grow out of it!” crap. Having a support system literally saves young LGBTQ lives, and its importance cannot be understated.

    And I could not love the title of your post more. You fucking rock, woman.

  328. She is amazing, just like her Mama. I have a queer kiddo too and have had similar conversations with him. Sending loads of love and understanding.

  329. You and Hailey both are h*eckin heroes. Victor, too. Thank you for sharing this — it means a lot to see the good in people and not have the internet be nothing but a big heap o’ hopelessness. Be your beautiful, wonderful, oddball selves, because you’re awesome. Go Hailey! 🙂

  331. Thank you Jenny, for sharing & Hailey for asking your mom to share. I have goosebumps from reading this because I can hear how proud you & Victor are of the woman she is growing into. And at the sometime, voicing all of our fears as parents that we fuck up quite a bit while trying to raise our kids to be cinfident, happy and proud of who they are. People, not all, but the loudest, suck. And it’s even worse at the moment. But then you read stories like you’ve shared and you feel hope and a sense of belonging because we are all a little broken and that’s okay. Love to your family & pets!! 🧡💛💚💜

  332. I’m with you: something so fundamental as who we love doesn’t feel special or different; it’s just who we are. Your the beautiful mother of a wonderful girl. How lucky you are to have each other. I smile every time I see the love and happiness on your faces.

  333. My 15 year old daughter is gay. I knew long before she did but I let her find herself without my interference. For a while she thought she might be bi, but now she knows she’s “full on faggot” (her words, not mine). She is an advocate at her school, and a great example to live who she is, especially for all the younger kids who aren’t sure. Both the school and I are very proud of her. She finally told her Dad a couple of months ago just before he got married (she figured he had other things on his mind) and he had the same response as you did. It was something she struggled for ages to tell him, but it was a relief for it to be no big deal to him.

  334. How wonderful! I wish I’d had the current environment (some) queer kids are growing up in—I don’t know that I would have figured out I’m a lesbian by 12, but by 18 would have been easier, at least. Glad Hailey has so much support around her.

  335. Proud of her. Proud of you and Victor. What a beautiful young woman. Tell her she’s got fun family in Colorado, there’s a bulldog to snuggle and a place to hang out should she ever want it. xoxo

  336. I think your family is perfect. Your daughter’s grace is evident. And, she’s gorgeous!

  337. There will probably be hate come her way, but as long as she has you two as her parents, she will have love. Power to the next generation!

  338. I’ve always thought Hailey was pretty special. Though you are (rightly) very careful of how much you reveal of her and her interactions, it’s clear what you say and don’t say depict a strong, loving, brave, and intelligent young lady. What gender she’s attracted to is entirely beside the point and none of my business. I just hope she finds the people in her life who will light it up and be good to her. As I think she has.

  339. You’re awesome, Hailey. And it makes me so happy, that you’re comfortable coming out to all of us, that you trust us, all of your mum’s weird and wacky readers. That you too know that this is a safe and loving community.

    (and btw, I met my first boyfriend when I was 14,and we were together for seven years, so don’t let your mum tell your you’re not old enough to date 😉)

  340. I was fortunate to grow up in Chicago where Pride was something I have attended in support for 25 years. I was lucky my parents had a lot of gay friends when I was a child, so it was not something strange or unfamiliar to me. I know I am blessed to have always had openness and love in my life. I think you’re doing right by Hailey – keep it up, you awesome parents you!!!

  341. Oh, my HEART! So. Proud. This was so beautiful, Jenny. Give Hailey a high-five for me!

  342. Jodie utter-
    For some reason I read the last part of your comment as “and i want to do her hair. I too want HAiley to run fpr President. You will do a great job with her hair, i am sure. Ill cater.

  344. This might be my favorite of anything you’ve ever written. I’ve long thought Hailey was the coolest and reminded me of my own daughter, age 13, who came out 2 years ago as well. Here’s to strong, amazing kids who bring hope for a new generation. Here’s to learning how to support them thte way they need, in that moment. Here’s to them being kick ass girlfriends and kick ass people and being true to themselves for ever.

  345. This is the best thing I’ve read in a long time. Thanks for sharing the awesome.

  346. Hailey seems like a really cool kid! I do have one suggestion: As a fellow classically-trained singer, I would like to remind her to breathe from the diaphragm, not the chest. 🙂

  347. Goddamn it your family is awesome!!! When I came out my parents said”you aren’t one of THOSE!” But here I am being one of “THOSE” and with the woman I love for 31 years👊🏻 It hasn’t been easy…but definitely worth it to just be me.

  348. Just sending love. My daughter struggled a lot in high school, not realizing WHY she didn’t want to date, like all the other girls. She was 22 before she fully realized and accepted that she’s gay, and having that realization has given her so much insight into so much about her teen years, in retrospect. Good for Hailey that she is so self aware and able to embrace herself at such a young age. My girl is much more comfortable in her own skin, now, and I friggin’ LOVE that she’s gay, because it’s who she IS. Your girl is gorgeous and wonderful and amazing (psst – so is mine), and I love that we get to be parents to such amazing people. Yay you! … and me … and them. 🙂

  349. I cannot love this enough. I relate to so much in this story. Please let Hailey know that she has so much support. Thank you for being the mother that you are. Thanks to Victor as well. My daughter attended her first Pride parade this year. It was everything she wanted it to be and more.

  350. When I was 16, I fell in love with a girl. Silently, I carried not only the shame of my secret but the agony of an all-consuming and unrequited love. Oh what I would have given to be able to tell someone that I was a girl who was in love with a girl and to hear that person say the words, ‘It’s okay.’ God, what I would have given to hear those words. You may question your response to her, Jenny, but the fact that you and Victor support and accept her, and she knows that you do, will guide and help her in ways she can’t yet imagine. What a gift that knowledge is. Please thank Hayley for allowing you to share a piece of her story with us. What a beautiful, strong and precious soul she is. Just like her mom.

  351. Thank you for sharing, both to Hailey and to Jenny, for letting us partake in the details of your family life. I hope Hailey meets the most wonderful girl 💖

  352. Ugly crying. This is so beautiful thank you Hailey for letting her share this with us. All the love and support.

  353. I’ve always thought Hailey was amazing, this doesn’t alter my opinion one bit. She is brilliant and talented and so beautiful. You can only be the best mom you can be. You’re doing great.

  354. Ah, yes. If we could just keep it all that simple for everyone, whomever they are. Just be. The best you can be. And celebrate others’ beingness.

  356. My son came out at 13 and I had a similar reaction. I didn’t want him to miss out on anything and not realize that Bi is a thing too (I’m also bi). I’m so proud that he was brave enough to tell me. 4 years later, he’s definitely gay and out at school but not ready to tell everyone. I’m a very proud mamma.

  358. Being a mom is hard, and we always second guess ourselves. You handled it the way I would have. By respecting her autonomy and by allowing her to paint her own narrative you’re being who she needs you to be. And that’s a big deal too. I have so much admiration for your family and how genuine you are. Proud to have you on my life team (that autocorrected to peeps to have and I feel like that might be even more appropriate).

  359. The only thing more uplifting than this post are all these comments! WOW you people are amazing too!! i was a teen when i came out to my folks and they freaked out and said those awful words “I don’t think I love you anymore”. That began ten years of estrangement while they figured out that i wasn’t just making this up to hurt them and i figured out they were hurting too- they just weren’t prepared for a world that looked different than the one they grew up in and they did their best.

    We got through it. Flash forward 20 years and mom (now my best friend) and i are sharing a girls night out with cocktails and tipsy mom leans over and grabs my hand and slurs- “I am so sorry! Sssso Sorry!! We didn’t know! We just didn’t know!!” And then she broke down and cried in her dragon fruit yuzu mojito.

    Moral of the story: don’t carry the guilt of not reacting perfectly for 30 years. You did your best and Hailey probably knows that. Or will. But get past it and forgive yourself. Cuz no 45 year old wants to have to be consoling their sobbing drunken mom in the bar at P.F. Chang’s at happy hour.

    Love you all!!

  360. SO MUCH LOVE to both of you. Beautifully written post about your beautiful daughter.

  363. In addition to all the wonderful things you’ve said about her, she is also spectacularly beautiful and ridiculously photogenic (and I am SO envious of that!) and fortunate to have such wonderful parents. You be you, Hailey. Because YOU are awesome.

  364. I hope you did the right thing by not making a big deal of it, reinforcing that it would have no impact on your love for her and encouraging not to label herself at 12. I hope you did, because that’s what I did too. My daughter is still fairly fluid, I think, and is realizing that being fluid is okay. Support and love to Hailey and all our Hailies 🙂

  366. Plus, according to her shirt, she likes tacos. Which is an absolute prerequisite to being an awesome person.

  367. Jenny, you, Victor and your beautiful Hailey are all utterly and completely amazing. She is an incredibly lucky girl to have the two of you as parents. Not all LGBTQ children are as lucky, as I’m certain you know. You ROCK, Hailey. Keep on being you. I yearn for the day when this sort of thing simply will no longer matter to anyone! (Wishful thinking, I know…)

  368. This hit me in ALL THE FEELS. I, like you, support everyone loving everyone (well, maybe not all at the same time, cuz EWWWWW, and who’ll bring the wet wipes?) but at 12 my daughter (now a ripe old 13) told me she identified as Pan. I barely knew what that was, let alone why she felt she had to identify as ANYTHING at such a young age. I thought and said to her EXACTLY what you said to Hailey about it maybe just being a phase, and trying out the “no label” idea. But I also told her, as I always have, that I didn’t care who she ended up loving (as long as it’s human) and would never reject her for it. She was still upset with me because I didn’t acknowledge the statement she was making and I think she felt I was saying it wasn’t important, but it was with her. So I just told her that if her heart felt it wanted to love everyone and anyone (a rather lame summation of being “pan”), then I applauded it because it reflects who she really is in her beautiful heart and soul. This piece just made me feel like maybe this isn’t another thing I messed up raising an only child teenager!!! THANK YOU!!!

  370. Well done Jenny. This piece moved me to tears. I’m proud of Hailey and I’m so very proud of you and Victor. I only wish that there were more parents out there like you two. One of the previous commenters wants Hailey to run for president. I do too. I’d vote for her. Hell, I’ll volunteer for her campaign. ❤️🦄🌈

  371. <heart bursting> Truly, tears of pride/happiness/love as I react to how wonderful you and your family are.

  372. So proud of your sweet girl! I am big, but can’t be “out” to my family. Trusted friends know, but my family wouldn’t be supportive. Hailey is so, so lucky to have such awesome parents and friends.

  375. I don’t post, but love you, Hailey, not just because our dog was named Hayley, but because of all of the parts of you our mom described, and the things she didn’t because you’ll keep inventing new parts, hopefully forever, even if you’re an old broad like me.

    And if you had said to our dog, “Hayley, I’m Hailey!” she would have jumped up and down on her stubby little legs (part dachshund maybe?) and wagged in delight, and loved you even more. Carry on!

  376. Yay for your beautiful daughter and for your beautiful family. I didn’t come out until I was an adult (with two kids, by the way) because being gay simply wasn’t an option for me growing up. I’m so glad to see the world progressing in the right ways sometimes. <3 Love to Hailey because love wins.

  377. This is so heart warming, Jenny. How lucky will be the woman she loves and gets you as a mother in law.
    Please tell Halley that there are lots of people out there who advocate for gay rights every day.
    Love to you both,
    Rebeca

  378. I’m so proud of Hailey for having the strength and confidence to tell you at such an early age. I didn’t come out as bi until I was 18, and it was one of the most difficult things I ever had to say out loud. I told my parents I had to tell them something and it took me a long time to choke out the words. My parents, bless them, waited in silence until I finally said it, and were completely unphased by the news. “Oh, is that all?” My mom said, “I was worried it was going to be something TERRIBLE”.
    I’m proud of you too. As a parent, I think it’s natural to second guess everything we say and do, but I’m sure Hailey knows how much you love her and support her, and that’s important. The world would be a much better place if every kid had parents who love them like that. ❤