UPDATED FOR THE LAST TIME HOPEFULLY! 2019 Bloggess Calendar

As requested, the 2019 Bloggess Calendar is now available (and it’s 50% off today if you use the code DECKTHEHALLS) and the back of it has a giant color half-raccoon face that you can use to freak people out.

All profits go to Project Night Night.  Whoop!

UPDATED:  I don’t know why but some of you are getting emails that your order was cancelled because the calendar doesn’t meet Zazzle’s guidelines.  I’m not sure why but I sent in a request to Zazzle to look it up.  I just ordered a copy right now to check it and the order went through so I’m wondering if it’s a bug?  Or maybe they think it’s tentacle p0rn?  WHO KNOWS.  I’ll let you know what I hear.

UPDATED AGAIN: Okay, I still don’t have answers as to why some orders are cancelled and Zazzle says it can take days to get a response so let’s do this…   I made a new calendar and replaced anything that might have possibly been questionable with other things that are probably just as questionable but are different so if you don’t get your order refunded you will have one of the rare banned calendars but if you did get cancelled you can go to the links above and order the new calendar. No matter what I’ll send Project Night Night the profits on the calendars and I’ll also cover the profits that we lost because it’s an awesome charity and they do amazing things.

PS. To make up for this inconvenience please accept this video of Ferris Mewler groping me inappropriately.

View this post on Instagram

Writing with cats. #ithinkivebeengroped

A post shared by Jenny Lawson (@thebloggess) on

Also, I want a medal for not making a joke about how unsettling it is when your cat grabs Uranus.

UPDATED X 3:  OKAY.  You may have witnessed my full breakdown on twitter this morning when Zazzle cancelled my old calendar and my replacement calendar and told me that is was being cancelled because an image was copyrighted and that image was a picture of me.  *sigh*

HOWEVER, they quickly reached out to me and fixed the issue and brought back the new calendar so here’s what you need to know: if you ordered the new calendar (the replacement I made late last night…not the one from midday yesterday) your order is still fine and you’ll get your calendar.  If you ordered the first calendar you’ll probably need to reorder the new one. The half off sale is still going on today so make sure you use the DECKTHEHALLS code. If you look in your orders you can tell if you have one coming or if it was canceled.  Here’s an example where you can see the canceled one and the new one that I ordered:

Zazzle was very apologetic and they assure me that no one was charged for the canceled calendar as they just did a preathorization that was dropped as soon as the first calendar was cancelled.

So, long story short, the calendar linked above is fully operational and you can buy it right here.

I need a drink.

102 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Thanks Jenny for making a calendar.

    Like

    Gaz recently posted How to cook Coles crumbed pork chops.

  2. Nice!

    Like

    margomusing recently posted Macbeth (Again).

  3. I love that my birthday month is “Weird But Supportive” because that is the pinnacle of my aspirations. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    Shannon akaMonty recently posted Let's all pretend to be Iceland this year. #BestIdeaEVER.

  4. Love love love…now how to gift to my fellow normals? From knock-knock mofo?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh hell yes! Ordering now!!

    Like

    romcomdojo recently posted Ain’t No Rest for The Petty.

  6. Thank you! It is wonderfully fun.

    Like

  7. ON THE WAY and i am SO SO happy! BRING IT 2019:)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I didt know i needed a calendar with Beyoncé standing at the front door. Now I do!

    Liked by 1 person

    knockingonfortysdoor recently posted An (admittedly petty) open letter to the Universe.

  9. 9
    Stacey Conway

    Just ordered mine! Can’t wait to get it!!! Thank you, Jenny!

    Like

  10. …as opposed to my usual method, which is freaking people out with my own face.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I still have a calendar from 2014 hanging in my office because it’s profane and funny but I will replace it with this one. It does have profanity, doesn’t it? 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    Mrs. Completely recently posted Sometimes It’s Just So Easy.

  12. 12
    Kelly Schaffer

    I want one so bad but I have no money

    Like

  13. Hi Jenny, I love how you captured Ferris, Hunter and Dorthy but where’s Rolly? I’m sure he’ll get his feelings hurt or maybe not he is, after all a cat. I can’t wait to get it because I’m bringing it to work!

    Liked by 1 person

    thehuntress915 recently posted Holiday Flavors that Suck…...

  14. Oh man, the animals are probably my favorite part!

    Like

    aliaselle18 recently posted Travel Planning: New York City at Thanksgiving (Part 1).

  15. See??? I KNEW you were the one, true Hanukkah Armadillo! You even have the sacred ring!

    Like

  16. Thanks, Jenny! I was wracking my tired brain trying to figure out what to send my daughter for her birthday; she already has all your books, so this is perfect!

    Like

  17. 17
    Ashlee Fowler

    Just ordered mine, can’t wait!

    Like

  18. I am finding my birth month, October, very appropriate for some reason.

    Like

  19. Would this be appropriate to hang in my office at work?

    Like

  20. That’s so funny. I did a search for Jenny Lawson /Blogess a few week, ago and didn’t get any results. I’m so glad that I didn’t buy the inferior ones that are sitting in my cart. Yay!

    Like

  21. Ordered 5! Gifts sorted.

    Like

  22. Yaaaaaa! Super excited. I got my Rory mousepad at work and I will have this calendar as well. 😍 My co workers already know I have random mugs (also from your shop), mousepad, and now my random epic calendar. Can’t wait!!! Thank you for doing this and being you.

    Like

  23. Thank you!!!

    Like

  24. 24
    Lisa Anderson Spirko

    Woohoo! My hubby is going to be so surprised when I open this gift from him on Christmas morning!

    Like

  25. Thanks Jenny, was hoping you were doing another calendar!!!

    Like

  26. Hey Jenny are we doing the gift exchange this holiday season?

    Like

  27. Kelly Schaffer I’ll send you one if I can figure out how to get your address.

    Like

  28. Ordered! One for my and one for my sis – thank you for these!

    Like

  29. Mom needs this

    Like

  30. Darn! the discount code doesn’t work for Canada. Might buy one anyway. You’ve done so much getting me through the last 2 years of depression and anxiety!!

    Like

  31. 31
    Jennifer :-)
            Is it going on Amazon?  I will find a way to get this.  Awesome-sauce!      
    

    (I don’t think so, but sometimes Zazzle also offers stuff on Amazon. I’m not sure how that works. ~ Jenny)

    Like

  32. Double Unicorn Success Month! Oh, HELL YEAH!!! This is way better than the UPS calendar I got (they were all dressed…).

    Like

  33. I wasn’t going to buy a calendar for 2019. 2020 is my year. I know. A possum told me. 2019 is just my year to prep for the awesome to come in 2020. But now I think I need a Jenny calendar to help my prep.

    Like

    becomingcliche recently posted The One Where I Learned What I Already Knew..

  34. More importantly. I want Jenny paper dolls.

    Like

  35. Project Night night is my amazon smile charity and one that’s very very dear to me. Thank you!

    Like

  36. My mood has definitely moved into Burn It All Down mode.

    Like

  37. OMG this is the best present to us!!!

    Like

  38. Zazzle tells me it can’t fulfill my order because the content conflicts with their guidelines. Am I the only one to get that message?

    Liked by 1 person

  39. I tried to order, and Zazzle wouldn’t take my order?

    Like

  40. I ordered. I thought. The I got an email from zazzle canceling it. Bummer. ☹️

    Like

  41. I also ordered and then got another email saying order was cancelled due to copyright issue or something like that.

    Like

  42. I ordered but zazzle cancelled my order…..

    Like

  43. Same thing here. Zazzle canceled my order. Bummer

    Like

  44. so… i just read the coupon code as “DickHalls” so that was fun.

    Like

  45. I ordered calendar then got email from Zazzle that my order couldn’t be completed because of a copyright issue. Anyone getting this?

    Like

  46. 47
    Victoria Read

    I ordered the calendar, and got this message from Zazzle:
    Order Cancellation Notice
    We’re unable to process your order.
    Hello Victoria Read,

    Thank you for your recent order: 131706514661937123.

    Unfortunately, we are unable to process your order. The designs are in conflict with our content guidelines.

    As a result, the following items cannot be produced:
    2019 Bloggess Calendar
    Title: 2019 Bloggess Calendar
    Result: Not Approved
    Content Notes:

    This product contains a design with an image and/or text that may be subject to copyright. Zazzle is not currently licensed to offer merchandise for this particular brand. If you are interested in purchasing officially licensed merchandise at Zazzle, please visit: http://www.zazzle.com/brands.

    What’s with this? I really want the calendar for a friend who loves your work. Can you help?

    Like

  47. But I love tentacles. Some of my best friends are…wait what?

    Liked by 1 person

  48. Same!! I’m so heartbroken that Zazzle canceled my order!!

    Like

  49. Will the code be good till Friday? 🧐
    Also…. 🦄+🔪=😂😂😂

    Like

  50. Same here, Zazzle is being rotten, cancelled the order! No Fair!!!

    Like

  51. Another cancellation here….

    Like

  52. Will you be doing your annual James Garfield project to help families this year?

    Like

  53. Also got a cancellation notice. ☹️

    Like

  54. I got the Zazzle error, too! 😦

    Like

  55. 😦 mine got cancelled too

    Like

  56. Mine was cancelled as well and I was so excited… watch it be copyright of Jenny’s book 🙄🙄

    Like

  57. I CANNOT GET IT!!!!ARRRG.

    Like

  58. My order was cancelled 🤬.

    Like

  59. I went through and picked the size, binding colour, etc, then was told my custom order had five issues, but not what they were so how do I correct them?

    Like

  60. So I got the weird response from about my first calendar order.. and then went back over and immediately ordered a 2nd one because that is what one does.. and now.. I’ve ordered a 3rd because calendars! if I get extras they will be presents… if not yay calendars around the house!! I also had to get a totes magoats tote because things… like ambien and the internet. Love you.. and yay for Project Night Night!

    Like

  61. I love my birth month May- getting an award for being a bad-ass mofo! Yassssss!

    Like

  62. Request: I’d very much like a wall calendar made up of your art. A You Are Here type calendar. I would by the shit out of that.

    Like

  63. Both the calendars were there! So I bought one of each… No shame here.
    PS: had to cancel my “depression lies” hairband though – shipping was 8 times the price of the hairband 😦

    Like

  64. My order went through but shortly after I got that same email and said I be refunded. I waited a few hours and ordered again. Same message!

    Like

  65. Ordered! And to the person above, I’m TOTALLY hanging this in my office at work.

    I’ll cross my fingers that it doesn’t get cancelled.

    Like

  66. Your support, generosity, friendship and loyalty is beyond amazing! Thank you for being you!!

    Like

  67. 68
    caitlinadams

    I was so excited! My order initially went through, but then it was cancelled in the middle of the night. Their reason was “may contain copyrighted material.” Likely your own material! Bummer not to get the 50% off. Thanks, Zazzle gatekeepers! 😉

    Like

  68. Ordered again. Crossing my fingers it goes through this time. I MUST have it.

    Like

  69. Ordered again. Crossing my fingers that it goes through this time. I MUST have it.

    Like

  70. I love this so much!

    Like

  71. I’m pretty sure that counts as appropriate groping. Kitty groping is really always appropriate.

    Like

  72. I tried to order a calendar and it was cancelled because of a copyright concern. 😕

    Like

  73. My order wouldn’t go thru either – SAD!!

    Like

  74. 75
    Stephanie Greaton

    The link is broken. Is the calendar still available? I would absolutely love one.

    Like

  75. The link to the calendar is dead…says it may have been removed 😦

    Like

  76. Ordered right away after your first post and despite the kerfluffle, it looks like I’ll be getting one of the banned calendars because Zazzle hasn’t told me otherwise. YAS!

    Like

  77. Ordered successfully!! I have the new version which is fine by me. I’m glad it is back up and running.

    Like

  78. When I created my calendar for Zazzle, it got flagged because I used the word “hooker” on one page. It was flagged for not being consistent with the G rating I put on it. The word “crap”, however, passed muster so who knows how this all works????

    Like

    Kat recently posted First Annual Update On Stuff You Don’t Care About.

  79. I remember ordering last year’s calendar and thinking “well, this is kind of like a commitment to hang in there for another year”. And here I am. Ordering another calendar. Thanks Jenny

    Liked by 1 person

  80. I don’t understand how a picture of you, that you drew yourself, is considered copyright infringement!! Grrr. I hate automation sometimes! I also don’t get why the tentacle image was deemed printed. WTF!? It’s a perfect image of depression, anxiety, and stress. It was quite lovely, and I wanted it to frame 9n my office wall. I’m sorry this happened. I still say you need to ask Santa for office doors. Just sayin’.

    Like

  81. I don’t understand how a picture of you, that you drew yourself, is considered copyright infringement!! Grrr. I hate automation sometimes! I also don’t get why the tentacle image was deemed porn. WTF!? It’s a perfect image of depression, anxiety, and stress. It was quite lovely, and I wanted it to frame on my office wall. I’m sorry this happened. I still say you need to ask Santa for office doors. Just sayin’.

    Like

  82. I ordered my calendar on the 4th. On the 5th, when most of you were getting cancellation notices, my tracking said they are making it. I have had no update and/or cancellation as of today the 6th. ???

    Like

  83. 84
    Lauren Wardell

    PURCHASED! thanks

    Like

  84. You need more knock knock mofo products.

    Like

  85. If you would make a calendar with ALL objectionable stuff, I would pay double. Maybe have it printed in Bulgaria.

    Like

  86. Hmm, so apparently being super busy at work for 3 days means that my order went through without a hitch! Winning!!!! Yay!!!!!

    Like

  87. I got a reason why: zazzle told me it’s bc of abominable snowman image.

    Like

  88. 89
    Kelly Schaffer

    J. Wallace. Thank you. You are so sweet. My email is duckieboojr@comcast.net

    Like

  89. 90
    Dawn Betts-Green

    Why is everything on sale when I’m broke, man…Awesome calendar anyway, and I’m glad you finally got Zazzle’s dumbass straight!! The world needs more of your awesome in it.

    Like

  90. I ordered an original, and it says it is being made. Fingers crossed! Thank you for both/either and for being so awesome!

    Like

  91. That is sensational cover art!! Zazzle is probably like that because they have Disney as a client. Disney changes everything. I looked into Zazzle to make my own art after I’d seen you used them. On their website were a lot of confused artists who weren’t getting paid their promised commissions. That’s where those sale prices come from. And Zazzle is a family operation who moved part of their business to Ireland, which avoids taxes. I loathe red-state politics. Zazzle isn’t a company I want to support.
    The company who made your boss leggings is Art of Wear. It says on their website you always get the same commission promised. As soon as I slay my fear of mystery fear-fear of fears, my art will be offered by AOW as well.

    Like

  92. 93
    cucamongaphilips

    I ordered the new calendar, but have to admit to some disappointment at not getting to see the tentacle porn one. Who even thinks of these things?! (Meaning that your calendar could contain tentacle porn, not its existence–I’ve long since stopped questioning those kinds of things…)

    Like

  93. This is the only thing that keeps me going: knowing that I’mma have a super awesome calendar to keep me excited about the next month…
    P.S. You are my spirit animal Jenny! (Well you or Saoirse Ronan, but she doesn’t really have the right level of madness in her, ya know? But OMG her accent… Imagine your crazy with her Irish accent all eminating from a chupacabra and you have my literal spirit animal…and I’m ranting. Hugs!)

    Like

  94. I would totallly buy one……the racoon!!!!!!!!………but I have no money…….but when I get money I will buy your shop out.

    Like

  95. I read the first paragraph only and clicked on the link and purchased the calendar! After completing my order came back to this site only to see there was something going on. Lol…. late to the game. Not worried. See Jenny I follow the blindly! Xoxo-Marcela

    Like

  96. 97
    Marcela Estrada

    I read the first paragraph only and clicked on the link and purchased the calendar! After completing my order came back to this site only to see there was something going on. Lol…. late to the game. Not worried. See Jenny I follow thee blindly! Xoxo-Marcela
    Ps sorry posting again

    Like

  97. Hope all is well and thanks for sharing the funny, quirky and dark parts that make up this thing we call life. Your book is on a helpful Buzzfeed list for anyone who’s had a tough year, just thought you’d want to see it: https://www.buzzfeed.com/annaborges/books-for-anyone-whos-had-a-tough-year?bfsource=cleanhpcontrol

    Like

  98. Got my calendar ordered even though setting up an account took several tries and a chat with a very helpful Zazzle person. Truly I am not good at the internet lol. But have a Bloggess calendar on the way! And I’m a very happy girl merry holidays

    Like

  99. I spoke too soon: my order for one of the calendars was cancelled!
    I asked why and apparently “In this instance, your order contained a copyrighted design referencing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, which Zazzle is not currently licensed to produce on merchandise.
    Does anyone remember Rudolph?

    Like

  100. I thought I was all set…then woke up this morning to find my order cancelled. BUT…when I went to re-order, Zazzle was offering a 60% off code, so…I win! (Aside, I mentioned to my husband that I had ordered the 2019 calendar for our kitchen…he was both annoyed and relieved. Annoyed, because had tried to buy it for me for Christmas, it couldn’t find it online anywhere. Relieved, because he knew I’d be exceedingly pissed if we had to go back to an ordinary calendar.). P.S., my dad loves this calendar, too…he takes pictures of whatever the month’s picture is when he visits, then shows them to all his friends at Rotary. His favorite is “I wish you could see all the fucks I’m not giving.”

    Like

  101. 102
    Lisa Anderson Spirko

    So I ordered on the 5th and didn’t get any message about it being canceled but this morning got a notification from paypal that zazzle had refunded my purchase. I went back on to re-order and the code deckthehalls has expired but for anyone else looking to order, calendars are 60% off today using this code – ZHOLIDAYZAZZ

    Like

1 trackbacks

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.