So many of you have reached out because you’ve noticed I’ve gone missing for a week on social media and that’s never happened before. I’m so sorry I worried you.
This week has been the hardest of my entire life.
I’ve struggled with what to say because I don’t know what to say. I am an open book and I write everything, but this isn’t just my story and I want to respect that. I’m afraid of doing harm by sharing it. I’m afraid of doing harm by not sharing it. I don’t know the answer yet.
Here’s what I do know. Today I feel terrified but so much less helpless than I did at the beginning of the week. There are good people who are doing important work to help. I have more knowledge and insight than I had before. I have guilt and fear. I have hope.
Perhaps one day soon I’ll be able to share all of this with you. Or maybe not. But either way, please know that I welcome your prayers or white light or thoughts of love for my family.
There is one thing that you can do for me.
Reach out to those you love and tell them how important they are to you. Tell them that if things seem bleak and hopeless that you are there to tell them how necessary they are. Reach out to the shiny, happy ones too…and the strong ones…because so often they are the best at hiding the pain they feel until it is too late. Hold your family tight. Ask your children how they are. Then ask them again how they really are. Listen to the things said and to the things unsaid.
If you are struggling and think that your life is not important, please trust me when I say that you are so wrong. You are so important and there are people waiting to meet you and find the magic in you. Please reach out to get help. Do not trust your lying brain. And know that the darkness you feel can be conquered….sometimes over and over again…and that you are special and unique and your brokenness can lead to a kind of empathy that will save the world. Don’t deprive us of that. We need your magic. We need you.
I love you.