I’m struggling.

So many of you have reached out because you’ve noticed I’ve gone missing for a week on social media and that’s never happened before. I’m so sorry I worried you.

This week has been the hardest of my entire life.

I’ve struggled with what to say because I don’t know what to say.  I am an open book and I write everything, but this isn’t just my story and I want to respect that.  I’m afraid of doing harm by sharing it.  I’m afraid of doing harm by not sharing it.  I don’t know the answer yet.

Here’s what I do know.  Today I feel terrified but so much less helpless than I did at the beginning of the week.  There are good people who are doing important work to help.  I have more knowledge and insight than I had before.  I have guilt and fear.  I have hope.

Perhaps one day soon I’ll be able to share all of this with you.  Or maybe not.  But either way, please know that I welcome your prayers or white light or thoughts of love for my family.

There is one thing that you can do for me.

Reach out to those you love and tell them how important they are to you.  Tell them that if things seem bleak and hopeless that you are there to tell them how necessary they are.  Reach out to the shiny, happy ones too…and the strong ones…because so often they are the best at hiding the pain they feel until it is too late.  Hold your family tight.  Ask your children how they are.  Then ask them again how they really are.  Listen to the things said and to the things unsaid.

If you are struggling and think that your life is not important, please trust me when I say that you are so wrong.  You are so important and there are people waiting to meet you and find the magic in you.  Please reach out to get help.  Do not trust your lying brain.  And know that the darkness you feel can be conquered….sometimes over and over again…and that you are special and unique and your brokenness can lead to a kind of empathy that will save the world.  Don’t deprive us of that.  We need your magic.  We need you.

I love you.

636 thoughts on “I’m struggling.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. You’re often my happy moment and I appreciate the fuck out of you. Thank you for sharing (as painful as it may be) your struggles with depression. It has helped me to reach out to my daughter and recognize the darkness within myself. I’ve been listening to “The Hilarious World of Depression” podcast- it helps me realize I’m not alone and I’m not (entirely) crazy. May whatever brings you solace find and sooth you.

    Much love to you!

  2. Are you trying to make me cry??? Because I am. Even though I never meet you, I love you too. All of the tightest, strongest, tender hugs.

  3. Hey. I love you, and I’m thinking so many thoughts of love for you and your loved ones.

    And I promise times a million to reach out to my own.

  4. I’m so sorry for your pain. Share when you can as I’m sure there are many, many of us who have gone through or are going through a similar situation. ❤️❤️

  5. Oh Jenny I’m so sorry. Please remember you’re important too, and loved. I hope the situation is resolved in the best possible way for everyone involved. Thank you for being you.
    Jess

  6. Love to you and your family. Do whatever you need to/can do now. We’ll take care of each other until you’re back to help take care of us.

  7. Your books have brought so much joy to my mom (and me!) and she has had a hard life and I bought your books for her cause i just knew they’d make her happy, so i hope some of that joy rebounds from her (and me!) back to you as you deserve 🙂

  8. Sending you white light, peace and love! Surrounding you in a pink bubble of magic protection! ♥

  9. Jenny, my heart goes out to you and yours. You have a been a blessing in my life, and I hope and pray that everything is (and will be) okay.

  10. I sat here for a few minutes trying to figure out what to type, and then realized there were no words that I could say that would help, at all. I’ve got the prayers you asked for, and hope that things will end up better for you <3

  11. All the good vibes I can muster are attached to this post. I hope whomever is having a not good time begins to have a better time. I hope they understand how valuable they are to you and to themselves. I wish for all of you peace.

  12. Here are good vibes, love and hella good wishes for you so that those dark clouds that are looming, for whomever they looming for get blown out of your/their happy place! Love you Jenny, stay strong, chin up, solider on!!

  13. Even in your absence, I was sending my hugs across the miles. You are part of my life, whether you know it or not, and I love you.

  14. We are here for you when you’re ready to talk. And also – and maybe more importantly – when you’re totally not ready but just need to feel the love. You have an amazing support system of friends, family and even total strangers who love you and will do all we can to shore you up when you feel like you’re being swept away. LOVE to you and yours!

  15. I don’t know what’s going on, but I know you are loved, Jenny, and your family, too. I’ve never been so proud of a child I’m not related to as I have been of all that your daughter has accomplished and become. You’ve given me more laughs and tears when I needed them and when I thought I didn’t than anyone else except my wife. I’m so glad you’re here to remind us there’s a way to keep moving forward when it seems impossible and to give this wonderful tribe a reason to be. <3

  16. I love you too, Jenny. You and your family are so important to so many. We’re here for you all.

  17. You’re loved Jenny. Hang in there. Big hugs to all of you. Dark times pass, warm memories remain, the future is wide open. If there’s anything we can do, other than what you already asked for, you know all you have to do is give a shout.

  18. Love to you and your loved ones. I’m so sorry for the pain you are going through, and I hope that you find peace in some quiet moments. ❤️

  19. I’m sorry you and your family are going through something obviously painful and serious. You and yours are on my thoughts,and I’m sending all the positive thoughts your way.

  20. (((hugs))) I hope this resolves in a way that is good, if possible. If not I hope you can find peace.

  21. I hope that whatever you are going through is resolved in the best possible way. I have been through similar situations. I send you and your family and all here, all the light in the world. And even more.

  22. Oh Jenny, I feel like I understand what is going on even if you aren’t saying it. Your words in closing are moving and I will share that with both of my teenage daughters and the 150 high school students I teach in a rural community in Nortwestern Pennsylvania.

    Remember there can be no shadow without light. Wishing you and yours a moment of light that piles onto another and another until you have climbed out of the darkness that I like to call Funky Town.

    God bless us, Everyone! xoxo

  23. Sending you good thoughts and loves! So sorry that you are having a hard time right now. Love you girl! Talk or don’t talk, we are all here for you and your family!

  24. Hang together and know that you are all loved. Don’t ever feel guilty for not taking care of everybody- sometimes it’s our turn. May God be in the professionals’ hands.

  25. I’m so sorry to hear things are so difficult. I love reading your blog (I was just telling my family the other day about your new writing partner!), and had been worried that you hadn’t posted recently. I do think of you often, and will be praying for you and your family. Take care.

  26. Jenny, at a time in my life when I was feeling desperate and alone,you made a post encouraging us to make friends which each other. I joined Bloggess Pals and through that I met women who have become dear friends even though we’ve never met and since then my world has felt so much less lonely. For that I will always love you and if I can ever do anything to return that favor and help you in any way I’m right here.

  27. YOU are a treasure. I am crying. My husband and I learned yesterday that the lifelong struggle we’ve had with our brilliant, chaotic, alcohol/drug addicted adult son is due to paranoid schizophrenia. I am a mess. But I will follow your lead. Thank you for sharing your imperfectness. <3

  28. If i could, i would pluck the stars from the sky and send them in a box for you to share with whomever in your life needs a guiding light. Air hugs and Snuffleupaguses.. Snuffleupagi?

  29. You are a wonder, and a marvel, and a glittering star of starry-ness.
    Huge love and hugs to you and both the non-furred and furred other people of your home

  30. Hugs to you and whoever else is suffering right now. Thank you for sharing, and respecting those that share this story. I hope things get better soon.

  31. Words alone are not enough to tell you how you have helped me through dark times. I see you. I hear you. I hold space for you and yours. You are a badass warrior queen. Being knocked down for a moment or thrown for a loop doesn’t mean you aren’t amazing and incredible and worthy of all good things. Take the time you need and do what you need to do in order to get through, knowing that you have an incredible community of people cheering you on, loving you, sending good vibes, prayers, and energy, and holding this safe space for you as long as you need it. I love you.

  32. Sending you and your family love wrapped in hugs. You are not alone and you will get through this. One doesn’t go through life without some crap happening to them and their loved ones. That’s what makes your loved ones so much more precious. Hang in there! We will all be here when you need us.

  33. My personal mantra is “Live to fight another day.” Because sometimes life is a battle and sometimes it’s beauty and sweetness and love. Keep fighting for those. It’s worth the effort even when you have to remind yourself that it is. Love to you and your family.

  34. Whatever has triggered this darkness, know that you have a ton of friends with lights shining to help you. Your books, blogs and posts have helped so many of us through our dark times, we are here for you now.

  35. The internet is a weird, wonderful, scary, horrible, magical place. It makes us feel connected to people you’ve never met, will never meet, will never even speak to. You are one such person to me. There are a handful of others who fall into the same blogosphere family of mine. I feel you are family, Jenny. I love that you share, the good and the bad. We share a lot of similarities, you and I, but how you handle things is truly special. I, too, tend to hide when things are going well. I understand, as do the many others who consider you family. I don’t know what all is going on with you obviously, but I cried (in support) and am hugging you, even though you won’t feel it. Your words (and crazy photos) have gotten me through bad times, I hope we in your Internet family can give back a little.

  36. You have been there for so many of us – let us be there for you and your loved ones now.
    We don’t need to know the details to know that you and yours are hurting and to metaphorically hold your hands. Or your creepy dolls, or your weird taxidermy. You know, whatever you think would help.

  37. Jenny,
    Been checking Twitter and Instagram for you CONSTANTLY over the past few days. Relieved to hear from you. Still VERY worried, but at least a little bit relieved after reading this post.
    Thoughts and prayers have been going out for you, Victor and Hailey since about early Tuesday morning. Intensifying efforts right now and including your parents, your sister’s family, all of the cats and Dorothy Barker as well. You don’t have to tell us anything else. Just know that you and your family are LOVED and being thought about by thousands of people who care.
    Susan

  38. We love you Jenny! It is so hard to be a light to people when you yourself are struggling. Peace. Jennifer

  39. Hang on to the hope. We are all here for you, sending prayers, good juju – whatever it takes.

  40. I’ve been so worried about you. Sending as much positive energy and love to you as I can. Take it a minute at a time, breathe, and be kind to yourself.

  41. I know you’re busy holding someone up right now. We’ll hold you up in the meantime. You don’t need us to give you permission to take whatever time you need to do what needs doing. But know that we will be silently cheering you and the people you love onward, through the darkness. Tunnels always emerge into light. Just keep on. We love you.

  42. Oh Jenny, I hope everything is all right. I thought of you so often last week while I was in San Antonio. Please remember how important you are to so many people. We are all praying for you in our own special way. Loves and hugs to all!

  43. I hope whoever is handing out boxes of darkness gets their foot run over. I hope that whoever received the box of darkness was old enough to sign.The person in your life who got handed a box of darkness will be ok, not the same, but ok and even thriving again one day, because they have you. Please make sure you, too, have someone or someones who will drag you through from day to day until… until you again willingly, happily walk, run, spring from day to day. Or feel funny and light again. Sending shelter and love.

  44. I’m sorry you and your family are going through “this”. Whatever “this” is. All the positive thoughts myself, my seven year old human kid and two fuzzy kids can send to your way.

  45. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times… When I was 26, just a week before my 27th birthday, I had a beautiful baby girl & my much loved Mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer & given 3 to 6 months to live. She made it 13 months.

  46. You don’t have to tell us anything, just know that we are here for you. I hope things get better and you are back to yourself soon xx

  47. As a mother of three teenagers, I have felt the fear and frustration and love I’m seeing in your post. Wishing all of you so much courage!

  48. Sending light and love to you and yours, and I hope things work their way through for you.

    Always remember the words of The Desiderata:
    You are a child of the universe,
    no less than the trees and the stars;
    you have a right to be here.

    You matter.
    xxx

  49. I was starting to get worried that you hadn’t been around for a while. I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling. Life is so damn unfair and cruel sometimes, it’s a wonder any of us are ever able to get out of bed in the morning and face the day. My thoughts are with you and your family. You don’t need to tell anyone what’s going on unless you’re good and ready to do so. You don’t owe your personal stuff to anyone unless it helps you in the process. Please take care and stay safe.

  50. Prayers – Hugs – Light…all coming your way. Feel the love, accept the strength of all who support you.

  51. Thank you for the sharing you do and good for you for keeping to yourself the parts you aren’t ready to share. You are powerful and make a huge difference in so many lives. It WILL get better.

  52. Thank you so much for sharing. What you say here is so important! Sending you light, love, and healing.

  53. My goddaughter is going through a really bad time and all I can do is give her an IV push of love and support. And I find myself quoting you all the time. Especially the most important thing – depression lies! She is beautiful, she is talented, she has people who love her. But there’s a voice inside telling her she is not worthy. LIES!
    Isn’t it a kick in the pants that just when you think you can’t handle one more thing, another one comes along?

  54. Your journey through TMS gave me the kick in the pants to do it. My depression and anxiety aren’t better yet and I’m near the end of my protocol. I understand not wanting to talk, having painful spots in your soul where you don’t know whether to speak it out loud, or trudge through it in silence. Your allowed to hold things back. No one is perfect. Your tribe won’t judge you for needing to process in silence and protect yourself and your loved ones. Sending you strength and love. Your audiobooks brought me comfort and company when things were far too dark in my head. Surround yourself in the things that bring you solace and peace.

  55. Jenny: You sound flattened with grief and despair. I’m sorry. I’m laying on the floor with you face to face Let’s just breath. Just breath.

  56. Oh Jenny, my heart is hurting for you/your family without knowing who/how/why because as much as one can know anything, I know that something very bad has happened/is happening.

    Sending love. So much love.

  57. All the best to you, especially having been in that place, too. It isn’t easy, but there is a way out. You must keep looking and eventually you may find it. We all love you and some of us must learn to love ourselves as well. While practice makes a person better at hiding the pain, it is still better in the long run to expose it for what it is. We are here for you. All of us.

  58. Whatever it is Jenny, I am so sorry you are hurting. I wish there was something I could do, but you will have to accept my inadequate gift of good, strong and persevering thoughts and feelings that I will send your way. Last week was a bad one for me, but this week has been much better. So instead of hoarding that stockpile of good all for myself, I share it with you. We all love you too.

  59. You have been a light for so many people during their dark times. Please know that you have many lights out there singing just for you too.

  60. There are no words in times like these. I may not know you personally, but in reading your words I feel like you’re an old friend. We all need to be reminded to tell those we care about how much they mean to us, and we all have moments when we need to hear it. Sending you and your family all the warm thoughts, prayers, and positivity I can. Please don’t forget, you are strong enough to get through this, and we are all here for you!

  61. You are not alone. Thank you for sharing. It is so important to share the darkness and the light we hold within ourselves with others, for we never know whom we will help or who is ready to help us. You are held up by the prayers, love and all the positive thoughts we can send you. Please take care of yourself. <3

  62. I hope it all goes well. Peace to you and yours. And good health, happiness and love, and whatever else needs to come. Thanks for checking in, and reminding us to check on our own loved ones. Really checking. And now breathe…In…..Out…

  63. Sending you love and light and prayers. You are loved. Your words have brought me so much comfort and joy and understanding—we’re with you out here, no matter what.

  64. Hi Jenny…I’m sorry things are rough right now. I hope that all these positive and loving comments help a little bit. Sending you some purrrs (from my cat) and positive vibes from me.

  65. I had the top of my cervix looped off last week. Yes, looped not lopped . It’s all very scientific. I found myself thinking of you and your thyroid scare. I thought, you know I might find this funny one day. It might make an enthralling blog post. For now it sucks and so does what you’re going through. You know I cry at every episode of This is Us and those aren’t even real people, imagine how my heart goes out to you when you when you need it. Furiously concerned ♥️ Janet aka @janet_in_a_drum

  66. Sending you love and light and prayers. You are loved. Your words have brought me so much comfort and joy and understanding—we’re with you out here, no matter what.

  67. I am so sorry to hear about your trials. Know that if I send even a tiny bit of the hope & love & help you send to others, it will be plenty. I send you bunches. Stay strong, sweet Jenny. The sun will return.

  68. I love you too, Jenny.
    I tell people to remember when their world looks like it’s all gray and they feel like they will never be any better and will always feel hopeless and worthless and when they can’t remember ever feeling any other way- that it WILL get better. They will see things in color again and there was a time they didn’t feel like this. There will be a time they don’t feel like this anymore.
    If I hadn’t gone through my own ugliness I wouldn’t be half the person I am now. It was worth it. It is worth it. It was a fucking huge price to pay but I would do it again:

  69. You are our strength when we are down. Let us help you be yours during this time for you. You are loved. You are needed. You are appreciated. This world would be a poorer place without you, your honesty, support, and humor. Sending much love, light, and positive energy for strength, comfort, and hope to you and your family.

  70. I can’t say anything better than what has been said above by other commenters. Just wanted to add that I care and I am here and I am glad that you are here.

  71. Being impacted by a story that isn’t yours to share is quite possibly the hardest thing anyone has to deal with. You have my heart.

  72. My daughter attempted suicide last year. Shes 15. It was the hardest and scariest thing I ever had to deal with. It changes my thinking. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life. Shes such a bright cheerful girl, so ignored all the signs. Now we communicate differently. Its help her and it’s helped me. Now we TALK. I don’t let the day to day slip by anymore. I’m sending you love and light and hope this passes quickly. You are loved.

  73. I love you Jenny. I understand the darkness. You are not alone. And I’ll need you when I am in the dark alone. To remind me that we both matter. That is the truth. The rest is lies.
    Light, love and comfort to you.

  74. Love to you, Jenny and to your loved ones. Thank you so much for sharing, you matter and are so important. You are one of the people who bring smiles and joy to my life, and so many others. I hope you can fee the love and support from where you are.

  75. Sending love, strength and light to all of you. You are so often a bright spot in my day and have provided me with so much insight and help in understanding the struggles of those I love. I wish I had a less trite phrase than you are in my thoughts, but you all are.

  76. Please take care and love yourself and your family. You help so many-let us help you….prayers are going up all over the world for you, whatever you are going through. Thank you for sharing what you can. We love you.

  77. Thank you for loving us when we don’t feel worthy. <3
    Thank you for being our guiding light even when you’re feeling lost. <3
    (sometimes a black light makes us glow prettier in your reflected beam)
    Thank you for sharing so much of your life simply to help us through our own.<3
    I love you. <3

  78. You made me laugh at the oncologist’s. (Not because of this posting, that would be unsettling – I was reading Furiously Happy.). You were there for me when I needed you so you can have all my white light because what I have you gave to me and I am happy to recycle it back. To paraphrase JSC, there will be darkness always, look at the good things you’ve got…and hold them close… like stars, or candles, or beacons in the night. You make a difference.<3

  79. Whatever you are weathering I wish you strength and hope. I’ll be praying for you and those you care about.

  80. Jenny, I am sending love, light, prayer and hope–all the things you give to the world.

  81. I am sorry for what you and yours are going through. I hope we (your tribe) can somehow help. Sending love and hugs!

  82. So many members of this tribe are in pain, but I hope you can feel what we’re all sending — we’d all take some of your pain if we could. Because you’ve taken some of ours, through your humor and your humanity, your honesty and your perspective. Take care of yourself and don’t worry about us. We got this.

  83. HUGS I can’t imagine what’s going on or what you’re going through, but it’s obvious it’s traumatic and terrifying and upsetting, and it’s thrown your universe completely upside down. Know that we love you. We are here. You are not alone, even if it seems you are. Sending you and your family light and love, Jenny.

    Again, we love you. I love you. <3

  84. I’m so sorry, Jenny. Hoping it all gets better for you and your family soon. Sending love. RIP Mary Oliver.

  85. I want to link David Bowie’s Rock ‘N Roll Suicide, but don’t want it to get eaten by spam filters. So imma add what I feel is the most important part of the song, in his words in the hopes of someone understanding. (With minor editing – there’s no “make you care” in the world that could suffice, moreso it feels insulting to be told this, though I doubt this was his intention at all.)

    “No, love, you’re not alone. You’re watching yourself, but you’re too unfair. You’ve got your head all tangled up. No, love, you’re not alone – no matter what or who you’ve been. No matter when or where you’ve seen, all the knives seem to lacerate your brain – I’ve had my share, I’ll help you with the pain.

    You’re not alone.”

    You’re far from the only person stumbling around in the dark, unable to reach the light switch. But the switch is there, still. Just gotta find someone tall enough to flip the fucker on, is all. Proverbially, of course.

  86. I think it’ll be fairly obvious given all of the comments this post will get, but many of us love you more than we probably love our own family and this is why. You are human and you are insightful and you bear your soul to us every day. Please don’t ever struggle with what you feel you “can” or “should” say because there is no such thing. You have given all of us more than anyone should reasonably expect, and we all owe it to you to respect your privacy and to simply be here… To tell you we love you and that you’ve changed our lives in so many ways. You are loved beyond description and every person here is sending you our prayers AND our white light AND our thoughts of love for you and your family. You go take care of you and yours; we’ll be here when you’re ready. ❤️️❤️️❤️️

  87. Sometimes the hardest thing about the darkness is feeling alone. It’s hard to remember that there’s so many in that darkness sharing it with you. All you gotta do is hold out your hand and someone will grab it so you’ll not be alone anymore. Love…..

  88. If this is what you say when you don’t know what to say. . .you’ve already taken a big step forward.

  89. Thank you for being the voice in the darkness that says, “I’m here with you.” 💙

  90. Sending love, positive vibes, prayers, good juju, hugs, etc., across the miles to you & your family and all those you love ❤️

  91. My heart, which was already broken this week, is now breaking for you. So sorry to hear that you’re having the worst week of your life. Prayers for you & yours. Much love being sent.

  92. Jenny – do whatever makes you happy, feel better &/or comfortable. We understand as we all have times of darkenss and struggles. We want the best for you and your family so if it’s time you need, please take it…sending you love and light!

  93. Thank you for your words. You are loved, whether or not you post funny, quirky blogs or if you just need to ghost us for a while. A friend of mine committed suicide last week and to all outward appearances, she seemed to have it all. You never know who is affected by depression or living in that dark pit of despair. I lived there for years and it’s a lonely place but there is light somewhere in the tunnel. We sometimes just need a guide or several guides (plus medication) to help us find our way out. Look for the light! Love you, Jenny.

  94. Whatever is going on know that we respect you and your family’s privacy and hear your message. And send you love and light and all good things. <3

  95. Jenny – you are braver, stronger, more courageous and fabulous than you even know! You bring light and love and laughter into my life and to so many others… You got this girl and we’re here with you!!! xoxo

  96. You know as well as I, that tho the brain is lying, but the pain is real.
    I’m sorry. Sometimes the pain wins. Don’t let it beat you.

  97. Jenny – You have done so much already for so many of us worldwide. Please don’t feel like you “need” to do more, especially when you don’t have the energy. Do whatever you need to do, makes you happy, feel better &/or comfortable. We understand as we all have times of darkenss and struggles. Even with not sharing, you shared plenty and, amazingly, still found a way to inspire us to reach out to others and make sure they know we care. You need to know we care about you as well…
    We want the best for you and your family so if it’s time you need, please take it…we will be here supporting and loving you. Sending you love and light!

  98. Adding my prayers and good wishes to the wave of love heading your way. May it lift you up and hold you afloat.

  99. I was just thinking that I hadn’t gotten that nice dose of sunlight and heart from you lately. I’m sorry you’ve been having a bad time, but do know that you are loved, and that you make a huge difference in so many lives. More than you can ever know. Sending all my best wishes to you today, and every day. ❤️

  100. Sending love, light, prayers, hugs, support to you and your entire two-legged and four-legged family. You mean the World to the WORLD! I love you and though we’ve never met, I like you, too.

  101. Sending love and gentle hugs (and my foster is sending warm puppy breath and kisses) to you and your family.

  102. Oceans of positive energy for all.
    You never need to explain anything to us, we are here for you regardless.
    I promise to tell to tell everyone that I love them today, in your honor.

  103. I and my better half have been in the place you are, Jenny. It’s so hard when what our children go through also tie into every trigger we have developed through a lifetime of our own challenges. I can promise you it gets better. Make sure you have every professional support you deserve and are entitled to (we went through about two years without it thanks to really bad professional support, but once we had the right support, everything became infinitely better). Your main job is to love each other, and just hang on to each other when you can’t do anything else. Let the professionals do their stuff, and you take care of the love and each other. Does this make sense? I’m hoping it does. All our love to you and your family. <3

  104. We are here for you now. We will be here when you return. We aren’t going anywhere.. We are in this together. You are loved.

  105. I hope your mom is ok. I remember she was ill at Christmas. I hope everyone is ok. Sending invisible energy and kittens, whichever will help the most.

  106. It sounds like you’re struggling with someone else’s darkness, and I respect that. You don’t have to entertain us when you don’t feel like it. We’ll still be here.

    We shouldn’t know details; it’s not our business unless you need an ear. Just say “I’m going radio silence for awhile, but I’m fine.” and we’ll understand.

    Does that make sense? I think it works for a lot of things online. We’ll give you space, and when you return, we’ll take our cues from you.

    You don’t owe us anything but what you want to give.

  107. Ok, can I just say: a box of darkness is a shitty gift. Here’s me sending you a virtual box of rainbows and unicorns and butterfly kittens and anything else that brings you bliss. (Probably some tastefully dressed taxidermized mice…but only the TASTEFULLY dressed ones.) Hugs and hang in there.

  108. Look for rainbows in the rain. Thinking of you and contacting others. Life is a random walk. Pull on some galoshes. You may not leave on the same path you entered. Sending you love and lightness.

  109. Many of us can relate to what you are saying. Your loved ones are not alone and neither are you. We hear and support you. Sending you love.

  110. If I could box up some love and mail it to you, I would! But it would probably also be “a box full of darkness,” because I’m depressed a lot too, just like so many of the people who have clung to your books, when we need just a speck of light to light our path. We are of course strangers, but through reading your books and blog, I can’t help feeling that “to know her is to love her,” so whatever’s going on Jenny, you are loved and we are on your team!

  111. Like everyone else who has benefitted from your books, your blog, your Instagram, I love you too. You have saved me more than once. I wish I could save you in return, but the best I can do is to send out prayers that your darkness will lighten soon. And many virtual hugs. ❤️❤️❤️

  112. Jenny, I am so sorry. My prayers are with you. Life can be so damn hard, and scary, and unfair,and it can knock you down over and over again. Just keep getting back up because there are some beautiful peaks in the midst of those valleys. Wishing you peace and love.

  113. I am hoping that tomorrow will be a better day for you. I continue to believe that the darkness comes before the light! Sometimes we all need to pull the cover over our heads. Take whatever meds help. You are stronger for this post and we all love you and share similar pain at times. Don’t let it win!

  114. Jenny, I don’t know what is happening but I do know that you and your family have brought so much joy and goodness to my life that my is hurting for you. Sending love and light, and hope. Be well.

  115. I love you. Sending every good thing to you and your family always. On my way to tell my own. ❤️❤️

  116. Jenny, you have been a light in the darkness for so many, including me. There are thousands, maybe millions, of us around the world who are better people because of the things you have written, said, photographed, drawn, and shared. You have my prayers and anything else you might need. If there is anything tangible we can help with you need only ask, the Tribe helps each other. Grief is a load lessened when shared. We will help you carry your burden. Love you.

  117. Jenny, whatever you’re facing, you put that oxygen mask on and keep breathing. Know that you’re one of the bright spots that keep me (& so many others) going on the hard days. We love you.

  118. Whatever you’re dealing with, we’re all behind you and pulling for you and anyone else who needs it. Sending love and good vibes and all the spoons I can spare. <3 <3 <3

  119. Remember that it will not always be like it is right now. The light follows the darkness. Hang in there.

  120. Sending you so much love, Jenny. I’m struggling too right now, because my daughter is struggling, and it’s excruciating to see your child in emotional pain. I pray that things improve for you soon.

  121. Sending love and healing vibes to you and yours. Praying for all of you and holding you in the light.

  122. Sending you all the love and hugs <3 I hope you and your family find comfort and relief, I completely understand what your saying, I appreciate your comments and whole heartedly agree!! Don’t forget the strong ones! We love you Jenny! <3 <3

  123. Perspective. World isn’t perfect nor am I. But I did my weekly visit to my 11 year old Hospice girl with a brainstem tumor Tuesday for the first time I did Reiki (try it, it helps pain relief and brings calmness) she never awoke. The visiting Hospice nurse said she’s a trooper but also at the same time did a thumbs down. I’m so glad my daughter is healthy as yours is. I’m old and limp walking but I still have something to give. I am alive, have a home and trustworthy car, animals that love me, even my cat who went to kitty heaven the day after Christmas. Life is still pretty good. I’ll take that, it’s as good as it gets. I appreciate the third rain we’ll get today (I am in California) even though the weeds are growing and need to go so I won’t risk burning.

    Here’s hoping one day that you’ll see all the good things in your life. I’d like to have your sense of humor and am working on seeing as you do the humor in crap that happens. Think I need to invite my friends over for a game of crap scrabble.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  124. Although we do not know the specifics, your pain is palpable. Your sorrow manifest. My heart hurts with yours. May you find the peace, the strength, the understanding, the love you need to vanquish the shadows of the darkness surrounding you. You are not alone! Love and peace shine brightly around you.

  125. I love you. I’m in that same place. Had been doing well for awhile but back into the thoughts and actions that show me, if only to myself, how bad things are. I’ll hold your hand through it if you’ll hold mine.

  126. You have so many people surrounding you with warmth, light and love. I will hold you close in my intentions each day. ❤️❤️❤️

  127. Well that’s fucked up my plan. I may be the paradigm slash paragon slash poster child of inappropriate behaviour but your post has made me reconsider my plan (remarkable achievement, few have succeeded). See, I bought your book 2 days ago, the one about shoplifting in a liquor store, magic squirrels, demented quail impersonating turkeys,or vis-versa (that’s a far as I’ve got) and was about to write a review on Amazon complaining that as a result I have snorted various nasal singeing substances ranging from hot coffee to G&T, that I have a throbbing lump on my head from hitting the bed headboard after having a LOL seizure..and I’m only on page 45..and I’m addicted. But I may just go ahead with that review cos I can’t resist being inappropriate. Sorry. Please get well soon.

  128. Jenny
    All the Love and Light I can round up is being sent to your family. Please accept all the Love that is pouring your way.
    Bear Hugs (the best kind)
    Mark

  129. Love and light to you and your family, peace.
    Your books have helped me so much, you make a difference in many lives!

  130. Even when it seems like you have nowhere left to turn, there is a solution waiting for you. Always.
    The journey that each human being makes through earthly existence can have hardship as often as it is touched by joy. When we encounter adversity, the stress we feel can erode our optimism, eventually convincing us that the issues we face cannot be overcome. In truth, there is no situation so dire, no challenge so great, and no choice so bewildering that it cannot be overcome. Though we may believe that all avenues have been closed to us or that our most conscientious efforts will come to naught, we are never without feasible options. The best course of action may be veiled in doubt, but it is there. When we are honest with ourselves with regard to this simple fact, we can overcome anything because we will never stop looking for a solution to the challenges before us.

    Self-trust coupled with a sturdy plan is the ultimate antidote to adversity’s tendency to inspire disillusionment in the human mind. As difficult as the obstacle plaguing you seems, it is no match for the love of a supportive universe that has been a part of your life since the day of your birth and will be with you forevermore. Try not to be misguided by your fear as this gives rise to the notion that there are problems without solutions. If you believe in your capabilities and dedicate yourself to the creation of some form of resolution, you will be surprised to discover that paths that were once closed to you miraculously open. Even if all you can do is change your perspective to turn an impediment into an opportunity to grow, you will have found the hope that is an inherent element of all hardship.

    Remember that your destiny is a product of your own creation. Even when it seems you have nowhere left to turn, there is a solution waiting for you. The only insurmountable obstacles are the ones you create in your own mind–and these can only exert power over you if you let them. Uncertainty will always be a part of your existence, but perseverance and mindfulness will never fail to see you through to the other side of hardship where joy can thrive. Try and remember that no matter what life places at your feet, there is absolutely no situation that cannot be resolved with time, love, and friendship.

  131. I hope you are smothered in love and caring. Not in a suffocating way, but in a pile of puppies and blankets on a cold winter day sort of way.

  132. I’m an open book, too, and writing helps me process feelings and thoughts. On one occasion I wrote something that hurt a loved one and it blew up in my face. The fallout was hellish and I didn’t know if I could survive it. The fear and guilt were so heavy I couldn’t carry it alone. Thankfully, I had The Viking to hold me up. It took nearly a year before I could write again and even now I over-think everything ad nauseam.
    I hope it all works out and your family grows in love and peace. I’m thinking of you. It’s okay to shut down if that’s what it takes to heal the wounds of everyone concerned.

  133. Love you! Thank you for sharing what you can–that you are okay, but someone else is not. Sending love your way.

  134. You and those you are caring for are not alone. You know that. You teach that in your very special and much loved way. We’re all out here, sending you all the positive thoughts, vibes, prayers, and intentions you can handle, and a bit more. Keep us in whatever loop you are comfortable with so we can support you better.

  135. You bring light to so many of us just by admitting that the world is a weird,sometimes hard place. I hope that you can feel so many people praying, sending light, and maybe even metal chickens to you. You are being someone’s rock. You are a hero.

  136. Sending you hugs, good vibes, prayers and other other positives that are out there. I wish I could post a picture here I’d leave you a rainbow caticorn. Lots of love.

  137. The struggle is real I was just recently diagnosed at the age of 52 almost 53 with borderline personality disorder and this can happen to me in a moment’s notice so hard to deal with the guilt and the negative feelings please remember to check all the facts love you too

  138. Sending prayers and good thoughts to you and all involved, that soon light will shine again. Best to all.

  139. Oh, Jenny. I wish there was something I could do, but please know that my thoughts are with you and your family. All the hugs.

  140. Keep doing what you’re doing. If you nee anything just shine your bat signal (im guessing its a petrified (crystalized ) bat strapped to a flashlight and your tribe will show up.
    💜💜💜💜

  141. I’ve experienced depression “lite” for most of my life, a kind of buzzing annoyance at the back of my skull that grows louder and softer but never really guess away. Then I married a man who deals with bipolar disorder type 2, the serious depression kind, and I had to learn how to ask someone if they had a plan. But the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced was my daughter’s doctor asking her if she had considered harming herself and watching her crumble in front of me. My baby, that I wished into being and grew in my body. I’m hoping that your baby is safe. I’m hoping that I’m understanding your words wrong. I’m praying for you and your family, and all of the children of the world. God grant them love and light, amen.

  142. It feels like you’ve lost someone and my heart breaks for you. It’s a wonder that effervescent humor and poignant sensitivity are joined at the hip so often, more so in you than many. We’ll be here when you’re ready.

  143. I love you too, Jenny. You are light and happiness to so many. I trust in you. I’ll be waiting right here for your return. No explanation nevesdary. Ever.

  144. Hi, Jenny –
    No need to apologize, no guilt. Your character has always shone through your writing and speaking, and you have always done your best. You are a loving family member and a great advocate for all of us who suffer from mental and emotional struggles.
    I’m glad you have good people helping. You deserve it, as do we all.
    Whatever is going on, please know that there are a lot of us out here pulling for you. You are not alone. And you’ve gotten through hard times before. You are strong, smart, and resilient, and I believe you can handle more than most people.
    You’re in our thoughts.

  145. Thank you for reminding us to let people know we value them and can see their worth – even if they can’t. Thank you for being the kind of person who would do this on the hardest week of your life.

  146. Sending all of the love to you and your family, Jenny.
    Thank you for existing. You’ve helped me through so much, I can’t even put it in to words.
    Stay strong and know that we’re all thinking of you.

  147. Warm and loving thoughts are being sent your way. Thank you for thinking of others as your end is struggling. Big hugs from a non-hugger.

  148. What the first 252 commenters said: I can’t improve on all that. If there is such a thing as Light, earnestly wishing that it shine bright on you and your family. Love. Admiration. Hugs.

  149. <3 Take care of yourself and yours, first. By all means, take time away from social media if you need to. And know that we are all sending love and hope to you and your family.

  150. I hope you know how much strength you give to so many of us every day. Now we’re sending that strength back to you. You and your family are so loved by so many. I hope you find peace with whatever is happening soon.

  151. I am so sorry that you are experiencing this frightening and sad time. You have helped me through some of my darkest days, reading your book while my husband was undergoing immunology for his bladder cancer. Please take care and feel our hugs through the internet.

  152. Sending many prayers to you and yours. Today I called my friend because today is the anniversary of her beloved mother’s death seven years ago. It was appreciated more than you could know. This friend was there for me so much this past year during my mom’s final days and her death. She visited us, called, took me out. It is so important to be with those during good and bad times. It may seem difficult, but just do it. You will be rewarded more than you could ever know. And visit the sick and dying. So appreciated by them and their loved ones. If you cannot visit due to distance etc, call. Know you are cared for Jenny. I would visit, if I knew where you were. And R.I.P. Mary Oliver and thank you For all you have given us.

  153. Whatever it is, whatever’s going on right now…even if nobody else is there for you, Jenny, WE are here for you. <3 Hang in there. We love you.

  154. Please know how loved you are, and how much you have touched lives just by being yourself. Whatever this is, you can get though it. I have a loved one who has had the whole “I should be dead” conversation with me and we both have cried in relief because we’re still here. Remember even when it’s seeming like an eternity of darkness, that it doesn’t last forever.

  155. Sending love to you and your family, Jenny! I hope that you will all find your way out of the darkness and back into the light soon. <3

  156. Sending love to you and your whole family. I have been the person who seems “so strong” and could not make even friends see that I was serious about not wanting to be here after some huge losses in my life …. they just can’t listen. But I’m still here! love you

  157. There is a wonderful short story by Spider Robinson, I can’t remember the name, but it was set in a bar called Callaghan’s, where if you wanted to say something, everyone would stop and listen. It could be personal, or a terrible joke, whatever, but everyone would listen. I’m misquoting, I’m sure, but one of the characters said, “If you have a hurt and I have a hurt and we share them with each other, somehow we both end up with less than half a hurt apiece.”

    Jenny and everyone in this community, thank you for sharing your hurts and for listening while others do the same. We are all better for it.

    Jilly

  158. I want to come up with the perfect words to soothe you. You do matter and have been there for me. I think there are around 250 comments, and those are the ones who were able to write. There are more along with these who have crafted a gentle alliance to hold those of us who can hardly stand. If we are unable to stand then we hold hands as we lay down to regroup. They are a part of tiny glimmers in the dark.
    Holding you close,
    LL

  159. I’ve read your blog for a long time, Jenny, and I’ve never posted a reply here before, but I am today. I believe in the intense energy that we humans can send out to one another, and I believe that energy can heal hearts. I’m living with stage 4 cancer and I feel, every day, the energies that are being sent my way. Today, I send forth some of that energy to you, and to the person or people in your life who need it. May healing be forthcoming. May the darkness be what shows you the brightness of light when it finally appears again. Love to you, Jenny Lawson, you beautiful mess. You’ve inspired so many of us to live our beautiful messes out loud. Thank you. Hold on to whatever light you can find today.

  160. It is my worst fear to have my struggles reborn in one my daughters. And yet, what better resource could they have than the mom whio soldiered through? Who can say, “I truly understand. Take my hand. We will do this together”? Not with guilt but with knowledge that my suffering was unwasted. Your suffering is not wasted and will see her through.

  161. Thank you for this gentle reminder. As always I am grateful for your openness and unconditional love. Sending you and yours light and love. ❤️

  162. You were instrumental in my daughter’s recovery from her SA. You wrote to her while she was in the hospital. You were the third person she saw (after me and her father) after she got out of that hellhole. I will forever be grateful and indebted to you. Wishing you and your family peace.

  163. Waiting to talk to my therapist when I read this. Someone I love deeply has demons telling lies and it hurts both of us. But I know they are lies and I’m learning how to help. I know this doesn’t make sense, but I’m offering my therapy session for you. May my efforts at wholeness go out in the cosmos and help others struggling for the same.

  164. I have been more stressed out about money this past week than I have ever been in my entire 48 years. It’s good for me to remember that life is about a lot more than that. Thank you. Sending lots of love your way to you and your beautiful family. Hugs.

  165. You are beautiful, Jenny. Thank you for your profound words as always.
    I needed to read them. Even in your darkest hours you still distribute your light to others… remember to save some light, kindness and energy for yourself though too. Sometimes we all need to pull away a bit to take care of ourselves and I applaud you for doing that. So very sorry to hear you are suffering at this time. Sending prayers and <3!!

  166. I’m sorry that this week was scary. I’m glad it seems like the right things are coming together. Much love and light from Minnesota for your family!

  167. The poem was appropriate. Poet Mary Oliver died today at the age of 83.
    Hang in there and keep blogging.

  168. To the universe, to God and Mary and all the saints, to mother Earth and the angels we seek, please lift up Jenny and her family and give them peace and strength. Whatever they are facing, give them the courage to hold tight to love and family and friendship and to lean on those who will gladly help. Help them realize that dawn always follows darkness, and that this, too, shall pass in its own time and way.Remind Jenny especially that she is so loved, that depression lies, that there is healing even where there is pain. We ask this in love and friendship. Amen, Amen, Amen.

  169. I don’t really know what to say. I hope things will be better very soon. Hold on, you are an amazing person, I love you too.

  170. I m so sorry, between the lines we are speaking of a suicide attempt, always very painful for the entire family. I assume it was an attempt only. You are doing the right thing in maintaining
    her privacy. It is her story to tell or not. Much love to you and your entire family.

  171. I have a feeling I know what you are talking about, though I pray I am wrong. My daughter was suicidal most of the past year and made an attempt in February, though I didn’t find out about it right away (which of course made me feel even more horrible and useless). She has spent all year in therapy and is doing much better. Hugs, Jenny, I know first-hand that there is nothing that makes a parent feel more helpless and more terrified. I don’t think I’ll ever really get over it. Very few people really get it, but I’m happy that they don’t know this kind of pain, honestly.

  172. By writing and sharing this you have saved lives. Thank you for letting us into your story. I needed to read this, today especially.I pray you find your way through the darkness. I know it sucks that through is the only way out. I’m stuck in the dark right now too, but you help us feel we aren’t alone and you continually offer hope and specific ways to reach out, not only to someone else, but to ourselves. Please keep it up, if and when you can. Thank you.

  173. We love you, Jenny. You have always been here for us, even when you are struggling. It’s totally our turn to support you. Whatever you need.

  174. You don’t have to look too far ahead. You just have to make it through the next 4 minutes and then decide to assess the next 4. You will find piece again and one morning, you will wake up and it won’t be the very first thing you think of. Love and hugs. Susan

  175. Thank you for sharing. I too am deep in a ditch right now. I read the words but I do not believe them-at this moment. I hope I have the strength in the near future to embrace your faith that holding on is the best and that I do matter. I sure do not feel like I do . I am so over feeling like emotional shit each day. I wish I had a friend like you. I have no one. At least you have support and love. I know YOU will shine with smiles soon.

  176. I’m still scared for you, but writing this is a huge start in dealing whatever is causing you so much pain. Definitely sending you all the good vibes I can muster, and all the fucks I was storing up for the week, so you can use them on anyone who hurts you. Much love.

  177. You are not alone. You are special. Thank you for sharing what you can Jenny. Sending you love and light.

  178. I’m so sorry for whatever you are going through. Please hold onto that hope you mentioned and lean on whoever you can for the strength to get through this situation. I’m sorry life can be so hard. Hang in there. ❤️❤️

  179. We love you too, Jenny. We’re here for you and for each other through the good times and the bad – because of you! Thanks for sharing what you can. You’re stronger and braver than you realize.

  180. Prayers and love to help you and your loved ones through this difficult time. Check out The Latest Kate on Facebook. Positive happy messages with cute animal pics for those of us living with anxiety and/or depression. Between meds, YOU, and that site, I am holding my own! Know that you are loved, and you are a light for so many of us Jenny! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

  181. Warmth sent to you; your family; your world. Thank you for the reminder, as you have said the brain lies. Please be well and know you are a very important part of this world (and likely of one that is parallel to it). Peace Out!!

  182. Sending love and positivity to you and your family. You are so important to this world. Please take care.

  183. Try to take care of yourself through whatever is happening, no matter who is hurting, you can only be there when you have the strength and capacity and that means self care and self compassion.

    Quite right that you don’t share, people don’t need details to be supportive. We might be curious about whatever can make the worst week of your life, but that’s all and you do not need to publicly share a story that belongs to someone else as well as yourself.

    This community is behind you 100% (not literally, don’t worry), so take the time, make space and do what you need to do to get your world back on it’s axis.

  184. Jenny. How appropriate for me to see this now. My son has been struggling for months now, only recently letting us (his sister and I) know. He has bouts os sobbing, and doesn’t know why, he feels small and insignificant, he doesn’t want to do anything, including talking to someone. It breaks my heart, and he is apologetic. I tell him it’s ok, and he isn’t alone. I tell him i/we love him, and we need him, can’t imagine life without him. I have tried to gently encourage him to talk to someone, my daughter told him we would go with him if he wanted. He doesn’t know. I don’t know how to help him, how to handle the situation. He’s only 26. I thought maybe this was a result of “adulting”. He’s snowballing, he finds that distraction helps, he is worried about time passing, his job, a possible promotion,( but what if they don’t like me?).

    You and your family is never far from my thoughts, and prayers Jenny. I love you so, so much!!

  185. It hurts to breathe I’m so scared something awful was visited upon your husband or child.

    Kids heal when they’ve been loved and when adults believe their story. They may growl and be silent and surly, but they see it when their adults learn how to understand them and figure out how to protect them or protect them again. I might have read between the lines incorrectly, but my core compels me to tell you that.

    Whoever it is, they are better for having you. Please make sure you have your people too, who will put you to bed or haul you out, let you talk or silence the distortion.

    I’ve hugged my husband and kids. I wish I could hug you and yours too.

    Much love,
    Your complete stranger,
    Sarah

  186. Sending so much: love, hugs, kitty purrs and headbutts, sloppy dog kisses, slow sloth scratches, raccoon high fives and wierd whale songs

  187. So sorry to hear this. I’m wishing you all the strength in the world to make it through what sounds like obviously an incredibly difficult time. All of your fans are rooting for you and your family

  188. Take care hon! Whatever it is that you’re going through I hope that you reach the end of the dark tunnel and see the light. I hope things get better for you soon. Remember that you’re an inspiration not only to me but millions of others around the world. 🙂

  189. I never know what to say here. I’m not good at these things. I’m never sure if you see what I say (you’ve never responded to me and I completely understand that you have millions of fans out there and there is no way for you to see and/or respond to every one) but this one I hope you see, this one I hope you read. You have been such an inspiration to me. I have agoraphobia so severely that I haven’t left our property in 11 years. I read your blogs, or books (although I still need the latest) and I realize I’m not alone. There are other people who have similar issues as I do, struggle as I do. That in and of itself is a balm to my soul. You are so important to so many ppl (we all are) and when I read what you write I realize that’s what’s important. We MATTER! We make an impact! I LIVE! I love all of you here! And Jenny, just keep being you!

  190. Jenny, I’m sorry this week has been so difficult for you and the ones you love. I hope some happiness – or at least clarity – can come out of it. Thank you for all you do for us, especially now, when you’ve reminded us to reach out to our own loved ones. I am sending you bushels & bushels of love, light, and hope – feel free to share it around. :-*

  191. “…your brokenness can lead to a kind of empathy that will save the world”.
    That is stunningly beautiful.
    Thank you for sharing yourself with the world.

  192. Thinking of you – hope all is well with you and your family. And if it’s not, I hope it soon will be.

  193. I would love to know what it is you (and presumably others) are going through, but I understand the desire to respect their feelings as well. It sounds like things are improving, and I sincerely hope they continue to do so.

    I hope do see you furiously happy soon. It’s okay if it isn’t soon. These things happen. But soon means less hurt for you, at least for now 🙂 I have so thoroughly enjoyed your writings over the years, and I wish you the same enjoyment in your own life.

  194. One of my favorite poets Mary Oliver just passed away today. A friend sent me this poem of hers, and I hope it helps you, and whomever you know who is struggling right now:
    Wild Geese by Mary Oliver
    You do not have to be good.
    You do not have to walk on your knees
    for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
    You only have to let the soft animal of your body
    love what it loves.
    Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
    Meanwhile the world goes on.
    Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
    are moving across the landscapes,
    over the prairies and the deep trees,
    the mountains and the rivers.
    Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
    are heading home again.
    Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
    the world offers itself to your imagination,
    calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
    over and over announcing your place
    in the family of things.

  195. I am one of your readers who quietly follows you and reads your books but has never commented, I stand quietly at the back of the room and just listen. You have given me so much over the years to allow me to move forward. I stand up now for you to see, so that you know you are not alone. Sending love and light.

  196. I’ve just been introduced to your two audiobooks the past few weeks and they have brought such joy to my life and helped so much, even when I haven’t been able to share my boxes of darkness with anyone else. I’m so sorry tough times have come to you, but know how much you’re loved. I hope that things get better and thank you for everything you’ve shared.

  197. Long time reader – this is my first comment. Thank you. For it all. For this. For the books. For the audiobooks. You don’t know me but you have helped me so much in my struggles. And I share your work with people I think need it. I don’t know what has happened but I am sorry and I send you whatever good things I can.

  198. Thank you for sharing, friend. It’s been a rough couple of weeks and I actually listened to Furiously Happy early this week because it’s something that makes me feel understood. Holding you in my heart!!

  199. Praying praying PRAYING for you and your family! Sending so much love and hope and asking for mercy and comfort and healing and grace for all of you. Big gigantic hugs! Please check in with us when you can. Love you, Jenny. Hang on. ❤️❤️

  200. You would probably be surprised how many people struggle. My son who is smart and talented is finding high school difficult. It makes me sad that this is so common for high schoolers. I think so many people feel they are alone. They have no idea how important they are. How loved and liked. It’s not just kids though. It is easy to feel discouraged. Thank you for all you do for everyone in spite of difficulties.

  201. Sending warm and gentle hugs. May you feel the energy and kindness we are all sending you–it’s powerful, positive energy, and we’ll share and then share some more and then more, and we’ll keep sharing as long as you and your family need it. Sharing–it’s a powerful healing energy. My love to you and your family.

  202. As someone who suffers with treatment resistant depression and a psychotherapist (retired), i I have some understanding of your suffering and I’m extremely sad to hear that you are navigating through some dire straits. Know that you have made me guffaw after reading your blog, even while I was feeling low. Please know that if I could offer you a similar reprieve with a one liner, I would (do so).. I know you don’t have the mental space or likely the energy to read this, but I’m typing anyway. Keep talking, typing, walking in the direction of the sun whatever you can scrape together the wherewithal to do because I know that you are persevering, that you and the situation/person that’s contributing to these feelings will not fell you. You are worthwhile and will move beyond this. We are all pulling for you.

  203. Jenny I have admired ur humor determination and honesty. My son has had many similar struggles the ups and downs. I know how many people u help and how much ur blogs have given clarity and sympathy to all who receive so little understanding. Thank u my dear and remember how much u mean to so very many Love u

  204. I hear you. It is scary and it does make you have feelings you never knew you would have. You can get through this. You can be strong when you must and soft when the time is right. You are not the only person who has been through this and you will learn and grow from the experience. Sending all the love and long distance hugs to you and everyone involved.

  205. Jenny. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Along with so many others I am sending positive thoughts and wishes for you and your family. You are an amazing person. You are loved by so many. Let us lift you up in this time of difficulty. You do what you need to do for yourself and your family. We will always be here for you.

  206. Sending all the love and light I have inside me. You’re important. You’re loved. And you got this. ❤️

  207. Thank you. This is what I needed today. Please I know my shit is not your responsibility and don’t take this that way. And thank you. This is what I needed today.

  208. TIght hugs from me in Mexico. Let the light in and breathe. I hope it’s gonna be OK.

  209. You do not have to be good.
    You do not have to walk on your knees
    for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
    You only have to let the soft animal of your body
    love what it loves.
    Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
    Meanwhile the world goes on.
    Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
    are moving across the landscapes,
    over the prairies and the deep trees,
    the mountains and the rivers.
    Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
    are heading home again.
    Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
    the world offers itself to your imagination,
    calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
    over and over announcing your place
    in the family of things.

    Mary Oliver
    Wild Geese

  210. I’m lifting you up in my thoughts my dear. You are surrounded by a community that cares about you and yours. Lean into the concern we are all expressing.

    Love
    Cyndi

  211. All our love, Jenny. You’ve helped me through so much shit. I wish I could do the same for you, but all I’ve got is a lot of gratitude.
    Internet hug?

  212. By reaching out to your community, you’re already on the way back. I think the light is at your door now… Knock Knock, Motherfucker!

  213. I love you too Jenny. I am San Antonio born and raised, so your stories and life have special significance to me. Although I believe my children are happy and healthy, your words have motivated me not to assume that without checking and not to take it for granted even if it is true.

  214. You and the people in your family are capable and brave and significant. Holding your people in a healing circle of light. You are loved.

  215. I love you. I will follow your request to reach out to those I love and let people know I care. And I am sending you light and wishing everyone in your thoughts to feel love and relief.

  216. This is the first time I’ve commented even though I’ve followed for a long time and relate to everything you say and how your mind works. I came on to tell you about sqwallets but now I’m torn between whether it’s inappropriate or just the right amount of appropriate. So I’m going to share but with the caveat that we don’t know each other and I’m doing it out of love. I don’t pray but instead I’ll hope for you and yours as I hope for me and mine.

  217. Hugs to you Jenny and thoughts and good vibes to you and your family. Darkness can seem overwhelming and you are right even the happy people fight with unseen monsters that live inside them and try to convince us we aren’t any good. They are liars and we all need extra hugs sometimes.Reading your blog inspired me to finally publish my own struggles in Postcards from Hell. We can all help and hold each other through the dark. Hang in there. We love u

  218. I often find myself scoffing at the sending of prayers, mostly because far too many people use it as an excuse to avoid taking action (donations, shows of support, taking a stance, voting with purpose, holding people accountable, changing thought patterns and world views, etc., etc., etc.). I’m officially jaded.

    But.

    None of those other things are options right now, so if sending thoughts of strength and comfort and love and appreciation are the action that is needed, consider them yours. You have all those things, and you are all those things to an awful lot of people, and it’s our turn to be there for you.

    Strength, comfort, love, and appreciation to you and yours. As much as you can take, and for as long as you need it.

  219. Reached out to my brother tonight in the spirit of what you requested. I was going to say I don’t do that often enough (tell him I appreciate him), but the truth is I never do it. Yet, I worry about him. So thank you for the prompt.
    All the good feels to you and your family.

  220. Sometimes you bless others by allowing them to help you. You have helped so many, it’s an honor to send love and support to you. Let us know if we (I) could do more.

  221. I love you, Jenny. I truly do. I am sending you and your family every prayer for healing and love and safety.

  222. You have had a huge positive impact on my life, through your words and from meeting my fellow bloggess fans online. I love you.❤️

  223. I wish for you find peace, comfort, safety for you and those you love, all the information, resources and strength you need to get through whatever is happening, and the best possible outcome. You have a huge group of people who adore you and are praying for you, me included. Don’t forget to breathe. ❤️

  224. Dude…what is going on? If it’s a matter of dealing with a teenager, I get that. I’m ready to drive him to the nearest fire house but I don’t think he’ll fit in that bank-like drawer thing my friends says it has. Not that shes tried to return her teen or anything. Thank you for this post. It was beautiful.