So, this month Nowhere Bookshop will finally be open for business (if we can get everything together) and everyone has asked if we’re having a grand opening but honestly, that sounds terrifying so last month I told Victor and Elizabeth that instead of a GRAND OPENING LAUNCH PARTY we should just have a series of mediocre openings (like, one a month for a year) so that people don’t feel bad if they miss it because then they can just come to the one next month and it won’t be super crowded and busy that way and then Victor and Elizabeth looked at me and sighed because I guess you’re supposed to have lots of customers to stay in business, but then this coronavirus stuff happened and suddenly they’re like, “You fucking planned this” and I’m totally not organized to plan a pandemic but also it is a tiny bit nice that the advice to “avoid giant crowds and stay home reading” is something I’ve been excelling at my whole fucking life.
Wow that was a long sentence.
ANYWAY, I think what we’re going to do is open sometime this month but not have a giant party and that way you don’t have to feel like you have to come for one specific three hour party where everyone is crowded and our team freaks out because they’re all new, and instead you can just drop in whenever you want to come and enjoy the quiet loveliness of an introvert’s delight. And if you want to come to one of the many mediocre openings we plan to have in the future you can and we’ll have fun things going on that day. Like giveaways or contests or live baby alligators or something. And for those of you who can’t travel or come to visit anytime soon we plan to have an online grand opening where we have a live-streamed party with basically just me and a bartender and maybe I’ll read some of my upcoming book or we’ll just get drunk together and gossip about our favorite reads and dress up the taxidermy and then fall asleep in the stacks and you can just order Nowhere merch and books on our website. Wouldn’t that be fun? Yes. Yes, it totally would.
Also, a giant thank you to everyone who has joined the Fantastic Strangeling Book Club or supported us in other ways because honestly this has been a very expensive endeavor and opening an independent bookshop during the middle of a pandemic is pretty much a recipe for bankruptcy but with your support we’re able to keep going even through the craziness. Your support holds up the business and our employees and authors and basically a whole microcosm of awesomeness and I can not tell you how grateful I am. Thank you.
I’ll post more soon but I just wanted to keep you posted and also I wanted to say that I’m usually a big hugger but until the coronabullshit is gone I’m not going to hug but I will still TOTALLY take selfies with you so if you see me you should totally still stop me to ask. It may sound overly cautious but I’m immunocompromised so I have to be really protective. The combination of anxiety disorder and immune system crap makes for shitty bedfellows but chances are that we’re going to be okay. But go wash your hands just in case, okay? And get enough sleep. And drink liquids. And keep an eye open for our series of mediocre openings and our online grand opening where literally no one will be at the store but me. I am the worst business owner ever.