Today we’re going to concentrate on something different because for the last week I’ve been dropping hints that we need to adopt chickens to live in the house because while we’re self-isolating this would be a great chance to train them and Victor keeps saying something about our HOA not allowing chickens but I’m pretty sure that rule is doesn’t pertain to indoor chicken and if it does that’s just because they’ve never seen a pet chicken in a fancy ass tuxedo (Which they would totally wear all the time so people take them seriously). Victor says chickens are not pets but I knew a chicken named Nugget who was a real sweetie and only pooped on me once and I’m pretty sure they probably make good anxiety companion animal. Victor disagrees so we compromised and that’s how this bit of fried gold we saw on Facebook ended up in my life:
(It died of natural causes on a farm, btw. I checked. And if you’re new here, the raccoon was roadkill. Don’t throw blood on me.)
I spent several hours brushing it out and looking for a good name…Lorenzo Llama? Llama Delrey? Llama Mia? and then Victor was like, “That’s an alpaca” and I can’t come up with a single good alpaca name so I need your help. Suggestions? Leave it in the comments.
PS. HANG ON….VIRGINIA WOOLf? Not sure that one works unless I spell it out every time.
330 thoughts on “And now for something completely different.”
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Sorry, I’m fairly new at this…
Alpaca lunch? (Ducking)
Sorry, I’m new at this!
I have no name ideas but the face looks like Falkor!
How about Dolly….Dolly Llama
Alpaca Lunch? Alpaca Suitcase?
Al Pacacino. It’s clearly the only choice.
It looks like a baby Falkor
It has to be Alpacalypse surely?
All I can think of is some play on Al Pacino, but I’m not a magician with names like you are.
What’s it all about, Alpy?
Is that Falcore?
Alpaca-Cino – just a thought. . . . or, given the current situation. . . Alpaca-lypse. . . sorry, that is terrible but I couldn’t keep it to myself
Alpaca Your Lunch
Anita Alpaca? Because clearly, everyone does…
How about Alpacacino?
Weird Al Pacavic
Al Pacacino? I’m not really good at coming up with these kind of things.
My daughter would name it Carl, and I trust her naming instincts!
Falpcore? Nah, that sounds like a dude’s masturbation workout.
Have you seen Cornelius the inside turkey? He’s friends with Esther the Wonder Pig. He walks around inside with special poultry diapers.
So, chickens can totally be inside pets…. ; )
Oooh yes Al Pacacino had me until Andi came up with Alpacalypse for the win! 🙂
Rama Llama Ding-Dong
Hello Dolly the Llama? It could be a drama llama. Llama-ence Olivier? Lawrence Ollama-ier?
Llawrence of A-labia.
He looks more like Fernando Llama to me.
My dad suggests Alfred Paca.
That’s Mr. Al Paca to you!
Alpaca? Damn. I was going to suggest Llama llama llama llama llama chameleon.
How about Foghorn Leghorn — it’s a giant chicken… “I say I say that’s no way to stuff a raccoon, son”
Not a pun, Quetzel
Some chickens are pets, definitely. Our house came with a chicken-flap so the pet chicken could go in and out at will.
Alpaca Rabanne, perhaps?
Llama llama loves his mama!!
Dolly Lama – definitely
Why are we not jumping straight to dalai llama?
The scientific name for alpaca is Vicugna pacos.
I don’t know if if you want boy, girl or gender fluid names, but here’s a few! Alpacachino, Chewpaca, Alpacalypsd, Notallama
Shit. It’s an alpaca.
Quint. As in Quint from jaws (Robert Shaw) “black eyes, like a dolls eyes”
I vote Alpacone.
I was trying to work out something with Sancho Panza — Sancho Alp(ac)anza? Alpaco Panza? Unfortunately, it just doesn’t roll off the tongue. Will keep thinking!
I know a therapy chicken! Her name is Oprah Henfrey and she helps reduce anxiety in hospitals and nursing homes. https://www.pinterest.com/pin/235876099204152013/ Pat Foreman is her owner, and both of them are amazing! https://www.theorganicview.com/other-shows/featured-guests-on-the-organic-view-radio-show/trends/pat-foreman-explains-why-city-chicks-rule/
If the Raccoon’s name were Betty, you could call him Al.
Too bad it’s an alpaca and not a llama. Because Barack O’Llama.
We have 4 pet chickens: Marshmallow, Georgia, Grace and Willow. My daughter reads to them and they’ll sit in your lap. They are super friendly. We also have 3 geckos: Bonnie (Clyde died), Maple and Dixie – easiest pets ever. We also have Koda, the Wonder Pup. I am going to say Alonzo Paca.
Alpacalypse and Alpacus Dumbledore are GENIUS. I can’t top either of those. I hear Pacino is kind of tool, and this darling looks sweet as pie. Alpaca Al La Mode!
I don’t know about names but that alpaca sure reminds me of Falkor the luck dragon from The Neverending Story movie.
Kinda looks like the luckdragon from Neverending Story, so I’d go with Falkor. Or Alpakor.
That face is GORGEOUS! Totally looks like Falcor from Neverending Story. AWWWWWW
I’m going to vote for Freddy Mercury, or Queen – because surely they are the best Alpacapella singers.
Oh, do not tease us chicken people with the idea that the Bloggess will join our little cult!
But do get over to Instagram and follow Kate at Drinking with Chickens-she’s simply the best!
I’m gunning for Al Pacalypse. I mean…..it’s so appropriate.
Fun fact, lama is the genus so works for Llamas and alpacas.
Llama Del Rey, Alpaca McAlpacaface, Tony Llama (but it IS an alpaca), Spitz, Barack Ollama.
Alpaca Sweater. Because it’s wearing a sweater.
I know!!! Dolly Llama!!! Can you imagine the lovely hats, clothes and accessories Dolly could have?
My daughter has a chicken. She swears by it’s anxiety reducing properties. That that Victor!
oh my gosh that’s cute! I only know “Alpaca lunch” (as in I’ll pack a…) but I don’t think lunch is a good name for any pet^^ Alpacachino?
Alpacalypis S. Grant
Alpaca sock. Youpaca sock.
Alpaca the wine, Youpaca the snacks. (Al for short)
Al Pacalypse. Seems appropriate!!
Alpaca’a are Lama pacos scientifically so I feel like you can totally use llama names too, just drop the second l. And they’re all camelidae if that helps…
Might I suggest going with the Family instead of genus or species and name her Camelid Parker Bowles.
I’d say Alpie, which comes from Alfie, but then I thought people might be confused and pronounce it as Al-pie (like, the actual food: pie, instead of Alfie). So, Alps I guess..?
Alpaca Lips – she was a burlesque dancer in her prime
Not a llama
In the vein of pro-wrestler’s names, I believe that is The Alpacalypse.
That baby is too stinking CUTE!
Louisa May Alpacott?
I was going to say “Al Pacacino” but ten thousand people beat me to it.
Al Pacacino or maybe Alpaca Rover?
My kid suggested Al Yankovic.
Husband says Alpocalypse.
I vote for Allie Brosh.
Mom says AlCatraz.
Neil Alpaca Harris
Lady Allie Paca-Woolworthy, First Baroness of Vicugna
Woolter Mattheu? Woolter Cronkite? Al Pacapone (would work best with a gangster hat!)?
OMG that face looks like Falkor! Adorable.
Al-paca Khan (Chaka Khan)
Adam al-“Paca-Man” Jones
Honesty think Llama based names work fine too – does anyone really know the difference? Really?
Cleo alpaca / cleopaca
I already suggested Tina (Napoleon Dynamite) for the llama and now I have a list of chicken names we have used on our farm:
Attila the Hen
Coq a Vin
Gary Layer (he a golf player)
Looks like Falcor from the Neverending Story to me!
My first pet was a yellow chick named Peeper. I was a creative four year-old.
To further your options, a baby alpaca is called a cria, a female is a hembra, and a male is a macho. So…. Crianna?
All I know is, that is NOT a chicken.
i was going to say al pacachino but everyone else already did, and it’s too cute to be al pacino …
Alpaca Ma Bags.
My friend had a pet quail live in her house, named Quailie. Its poops were really small and wiped up with a wet wipe. It laid eggs.
I like Alpacalypse, or Cuzco
The Alpaca looks like Falcor from the Never Ending Story.
Put a do-rag on it and you’ve got Alpac’ Shakur 🙂
Winston is a good Alpaca name
I just think Falkor when I see him…
Hirsute Cassiopeia . For role call it would be Alpaca, Hirsute Case.
Alpacas are descended from vicuña, so name him I tot Jr and that will teach him not to tell you your llama is an alpaca. Alpacas and llamas can interbreed so this could be half and half, tell Victor, the only way to know for sure is ask the Mama llama, dingdong!
I have an alpaca rug that I bought from a friend’s farm here in Norway. Her name is/was Delicious. (Yes I think we also might have eaten her).
It’s the angel of the Alpacalypse, obviously. Perhaps you could get it a pope hat…
It looks like Falkor from the Neverending Story. Screw the animal puns and shake up your naming game, Jenny!
Jenny – I think Victor is just messing with you. According to the internet (the font of all Knowledge), llamas have long ears and long noses. Alpacas have very short ears and rounder, smushy faces. You have a llama, mama.
So this is like a Llama Chameleon?
I know it’s an Alpaca but Dolly Llama is so damn funny and I hope you get a Llama so you could use that one. Also, the person that came up with all the chicken names is AMAZING and Feather Locklear is the best name and now I’m going to have to get a chicken so I can use it.
Louisa May Alpacott. Lady Paca
I love how you keep taxidermists in business Jenny.
I once saw a zookeeper (children’s zoo) holding a chicken on his lap. He was petting and talking to her. It looked very soothing.
Definitely Dolly Lama.
The librarian in my town keeps chickens in her living room. So it is possible.
F. Scott Fleecegerald
Henrietta Alpaca-Lacka (HeLa for short)
Alpacalypse and Alpacus Dumbledore are GENIUS.
I agree, Al Pacachino is the only choice.
How about Al Paca. Love your writing. Stay well.
I have no good name suggestions; I just wonder does Victor categorically refuse to open packages that arrive at your home out of concern as to what fresh taxidermy may be contained inside??
Shut-in minds need to know.
Edie Falcore? Mal Falcore? She/he looks a bit like Falcore. Hang on, is this alpaca a male or female?
There really are Therapy Chickens- my sister is a social worker and she had a chicken brought in for a little guy on the pediatric ward at her hospital who was missing his chickens and farm at home.
I love Alpaca-lypse. Great name
I have a friend that has a pet chicken
She dresses it up everyday and it has the run of her house
Picnic (alpaca lunch)
Louisa May Alpacacott
That’s Clearly Al Pacaccino. “Say hello to my little friend…Rory.!”
Hmm…I like the play on words. So, Alpaca Piller (children’s section of your bookstore) or Alpaca Pella (Music section) or Alpaca Lypse (seems most appropriate for when you purchased her)…
I second or third or however many down the line I am Alpaca Chino.
AND I LOVE IT!!!!
Mr. Roy Alpaca.
Glad I’m not the only one who immediately went ‘that’s the dragon from never ending story!”
Alpacus Dumbledore gets my vote.
Alison Alpaca? I like Alpacus Dumbledore.
Falkor + alpaca = Falpakor or Alpakor
A baby alpaca is called a cria so
Don’t forget! Flannery O’Connor taught her chickens to walk backwards.
I second F. Scott Fleecegerald. It’s a good Camelid fluid name in case the llama/alpaca debate is never settled.
“Alpaca lunch.” It’s gonna be a long day
Alpaca my bags, I’m ready to go. (I’m standing here outside your door… sorry) Alpaca picnic, Alpaca cooler, Alpacabella,
NOTALLAMA is the very best!
I vote for Weird Al Pacavik
Alpaca Lunch or if you’re feeling feisty (or fisty) Alpaca Punch?
DOLLY LLAMA! No brainer.
I wanted to like everybody who posted:Al Pacacino, Chewpaca, AlpacaLypes, Notallama, Alpacus Dumbledore…but the site wanted me to sign up and then I needed a domain name and then I worried about, well everything and my anxiety started…so I’ll just post a “THAT’S SO CLEVER OF ALL Y’ALL, I LOVE THOSE NAMES” here.
Well I was going to say Llama Turner.
Emotional support chickens are totally a thing! Here’s a friend of mine who has some, one of even named Nugget!
Can we pretend it’s a llama and call it Barack O’Llama?
One of my 10yo twins loooooves stuffed animal alpacas and llamas the most and has a small collection (he particularly loves rainbow colored ones!). He calls them all “Slurp.” When he gets upset and needs to hug on one or more Slurps, he says he’s running low on “Slurp Power.” It’s the sweetest thing in the world.
I have it! Jean-Luc Alexander Packard.
Alpaca My Bags
Did you know they use llamas on alpaca farms to guard the alpacas? They serrate their hooves so they can really fuck up a coyote.
Alpaca Lips. Or Cria Me A River.
Alpaca Mean Punch
Drama Llama Ding-dong
I googled “I’ll pack a” and got back “chainsaw”. So, AlpacaChainsaw. But only if you’re a fan of Limp Bizkit.
They are called Crias and the act of giving birth is called Crenation.
Am I the only one who remembers Dana Carver’s skit? He played an Asian shopkeeper who rebuffed Customers’ attempts to buy a chicken, saying “chicken make lousy house pet,” and then once customers had left, dang “I’ve grown accustomed to her face.”
Give him a Tommy gun and call him Al Pacone.
He looks like Falcor from The Neverending Story
Flaca. Kinda sounds like llama, but since it’s an alpaca, flaca is actually Spanish for skinny (like its skinny neck). ALSO, I thought pf it bc she bears an uncanny resemblance to the Luck Dragon Falkor.
Cria Farrow? Baby alpacas are crias.
I’ve not commented before, but this sure is a fun party. How about:
Vicuna Lovegood — imagine the hats! Wooliam (or Woolhelmina) Tell — imagine the gadgetry!
D.R. Doolittle. ( D.R. for Darling? or simply “Dear”?) She/he looks kind of like half of a pushmi-pullyu. Dress up with one or two horns, as mood suits.
I’ve been trying to get my wife to let me get an alpaca and name her Alpacagawea, but so far no luck, alas. You’re welcome to the name, though!
Al Pack It In? Al Capella? The alpacas I know enjoy eating fig newtons. https://possumscatsthingsgnawingatme.wordpress.com/2020/03/21/i-was-going-to-do-so-many-ridiculous-things/
I really think AL PACA might suit him just fine. Or ALICE PACA if she’s a girl. Don’t you??
I just opened the page and have not gotten past the picture. Bless you for this! lol
Weird ALpaca Yankovick?
Jeeez, is Victor one of those people who, hearing someone say “look at the alligators, kids!” says “Actually… those are crocodiles. You can tell by the…”?
And most timely of all, Alpacalypse Now
Given the current state of things, I think “Alpacalypse” has to win.
Jenny, you have a LLAMA! It’s ears are long and banana-shaped, and it has a longer face than an alpaca. My suggestions:
Como te LLama
So freaking cute!
I agree that Al Pacacino or Alpacalypse are the winning choices, but I just needed to comment to add that CLEARLY that alpaca will need a llama friend named Llama Del Rey, so you should get looking. We all know she’s out there…waiting for you.
Ally in Andesland.
Alpaca von Hummm-boldt.
A m00se once bit my sister.
Are you sure it’s an alpaca, and not a suri (smaller, softer kind of alpaca)….?
In that case… Surina Williams
If your going this direction might as well go all the way.
Weird Al Packovich
And when someone actualies, “that’d be funny if that were a llama and not an alpaca,” you reply, “that’s the joke though, isn’t it?” and walk quickly off to someone more important.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to be anonymous on the Llarry suggestion. I’m not really even clear how to add my stuff. But here:
I like Ima Alpaca
Edgar Alpaca Poe
Alpacalypse!? This is so obvious!
Falkor, the Luck Alpaca
Just google some pictures of llamas and alpacas and compare. For goodness sakes! It’s too cute for Alpacino though.
Those eyes look like a girl from the 20’s. I would say an old fashioned silver screen lady
Elizabeth Alpackard? Andrew Alpackard? Alpackard Jennings?
OH, SO DEFINITELY LLLLLLORENZO LLLLLLLAMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Al Pacachino or Alpacalypse… those are da bomb.
Barack O’llama. Lie about knowing it was an alpaca.
Welp, I’m not original… my first thought was al pacaching just like a lot of you!
If it’s a llama, Geddin. As in. Llama Geddon.
If it’s an alpaca, Lypse. As in. Alpaca Lypse.
Another vote for Al Pacachino, but he’ll have to wear pants.
I saw someone mention Alpacone. Love it!
Sorry sigh Dorothy Paca
It’s a jersey accent
What about Woolpaca and Rocket
Your raccoon needs to meet my raccoon!!!
on insta @rockydaracoon
Alpaca Wacca Wacca
Dahli Llama. If no one else has added it
Give him a beer (Corona) and call him Al Pocolypse.
Llamas are jerks! That sweet face must be an alpaca, in which case it might be Malala Paca, Phaka Khan, Alpie McBeal, Frank (al) Pakka, Barack Alpaca, Al Pacchiato?
Did someone already suggest Louisa May Alpacacott?
I didn’t read every comment so it may be a repeat idea. But I like it.
Falpacakor. Because that is definitely the dog dragon from the neverending story.
Alpaca-hontas for her lovely eyes
It has to be Falkor. It looks just like him!
I vote for Dolly Lama, that is just too perfect to not use. That face is just too serene for anything else. But Lama Turner is a close 2nd. I can imagine you saving F. Scott Fleecegerald for some sort of spectacular sheep in the not too distant future.
Someone wrote it’s a cria = baby llama/alpaca, so Criastina Aguillama og Criastina Alpagate
Her name was Lola, she’s not a Llama
With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there
She would merengue and do the cha-cha
And while she tried to be a star
Rory always tended bar
Across the crowded floor, they worked from eight til four
They were young and they had each other
Who could ask for more?
At the copa (co) Copa – alpaca (Copa-alpaca)
The hottest spot north of Havana (here)
At the copa (co) Copa-alpaca
Music and passion were always the fashion
At the copa they fell in love
Clearly Alpacacino is the winner here.
Also, Rory looks really enthusiastic about his new taxidermy buddy.
Eleanor Parker…..(El Parker). 🙂
Bonnie Alpaca (now you need a Clyde…her name was Bonnie Elizabeth Parker….Bonnie El Parker)
The Dali Llama
Suri. Suri is a type of Alpaca. Huacaya being the other.
Suri. Suri is a type of Alpaca. Huacaya being the other.
I do like Alpacalypse, and since you mentioned “fried gold” in your post, ergo —-> Shaun of the Dead.
Then clearly that’s my vote.
I vote for Lola at the Copa Cobana with Rory tending bar!!!!
Or Alli Paco Lypse.
Or Fluffy, just because sometimes you have to break out of the pack.
Or Faline from the movie Bambi, because just look at those eyes!
(Please don’t name it Al Pacachino, he doesn’t strike me as a warm fuzzy person.)
But I do love Dolly Notallama.
Or Vic Cuna
Camella Parker Bowles
They’re camels, so this would not only be a great icebreaker for a conversation, it would be extremely educational.
Snack as is Alpaca Snack.
It’s a her, right? Hard to tell with the particular half that’s missing.
this is clearly a Charles
I’m relieved to see so many comments comparing it to Falkor, that’s the only thing that came to mind when I saw the picture!
Um, that is clearly a luck dragon. How about “Alpakor”?
Clearly I need to ask this group for ideas when I adopt my kittens (whenever this pandemic abates)! You all are AWESOME and so WITTY! Thanks for the chuckles this morning you wonderful folks!
Two names come to mind – – I don’t know why – – Figaro and Poindexter. I know, Not funny names! Looks like alpacaChino (Not a fan of him really) and Dolly llama are running a close race! I like Virginia Woolf too! Also Alpacalypse! Actually I think that’s my favorite. Then he could say “You can call me Al.”
Geta U Suitcase
Alpaca My Bags
And by the way, my first pet was a rooster named Tweet Tweet and he lived in our house in Philadelphia. His coop was situated in the backyard but he moved inside during the winter. Mostly in the basement. He loved spaghetti but because we were kids with warped kids humor we would sometimes feed him chicken. He liked it.
I would say Chuck Woolery but apparently he’s kinda douchey on Twitter? I’ll keep thinking.
Andre 2020 (play on André 3000)
I Love LLAMAS and ALPACAS!!!
his face looks like the flying dog from “the never ending story” movie. I dont remember what its name was
When I first saw it I thought Edwina, nothing rhymes with alpaca. However if you say “Alpaca” with a heavy Italian accent it opens up some possibilities..Alpaca my lunch….Alpaca my swimsuit.Not very good possibilities but there they are
Al. Just plain Al. With an ode to Paul Simon – I can call you Betty, and Betty, when you call me you can call me Al.
Allie Paca ( & the 40 Weaves)
This is CLEARLY Weird ALpacca.
Agreed. I also immediately said, Al Pacachino.
Are you SURE that’s an alpaca? Cuz it looks like a llama to me. And now I feel weird because I’m not a llama/alpaca farmer, so why do I know these things? Or think I know these things? Sigh. And now I want some chicha morada candy.
Alpaca My Bags and Move to the Country?
Nah. Monogram would read like an eye chart.
Al Capaca…the famous alpaca gangster
I really wish Lorenzo Llama was a viable option, because true story: he went to one of my family reunions when I was a kid, and I got a photo with him and his long Renegade hair and I was SO EXCITED because I loved that show (nevermind that it wasn’t really appropriate for a 7 year old…) Anyway: Al-paca Roker or Alpacacino.
AlpaCalypso or Alpha Calypso maybe?
How about Curly Temple? I know it doesn’t quite work but I really like it!
Wooly Nelson gets my vote.
As much as I love the idea of Al Pacacino … you’re in Texas.
Or Al Pacsworth?
Al-paca-knife… Sandwich… punch etc.
Princess Al Righty
Tupaca ShaCurl. ?
I like Chewpaca
I want a pet Rooster.
I dated a guy once who had a Cat and Pet Rooster because he wanted to have the pussy and the cock.
Did you mean to be obsessed with cats and roosters for this reason? Or was that all Freudian?
Tezcatalpaca. (I went down a rabbit hole on the mythology of the Smoking Mirror.)
Hackin’ Packin’ Alpaca 🦙Rihanna Juana Madonna Llama 🦙Vicuna Lovegood 🦙
Chickens are totally pets. Probably not indoor pets – but what do I know, I bet they could be if they wanted to be. My chickens are 100% pets. Outdoor pets that lay eggs – which is nice too, but their soft feathers pat pat and they’re funny to watch. And they bitch at each other over worms!
Clearly his name should be Al Pacacino
Alpacas have cuter faces than llamas. I knew you wanted to know.
m Brazilian, I can’t speak English, but I read your books and use the Google translator to read what you write on your blog. My God I need to learn English (I’m trying hard lol)
actually I just realized that all this shit has nothing to do with the llama kkkkkk
ps: i’m using google translator for this comment so blame him for any mistak
I speak alpaca. His name is Susan and he wants you to respect his life choices. #DoctorWho #11thDoctor
I just want you to know, Jenny, that an chicken would be a good anxiety companion animal if the objective is to provide a companion to all your existing anxieties. But! In these parlous times, the risk of salmonella and other avian-vectored ailments might help some people to remember to wash their hands more often, because I really think we’re not hearing enough about that.
Joke, sad attempt at, one, #bloggessfam for the use of.
Am I the only one who remembers Dana Carver’s skit?