I see you

in Random Crap

If you look hard enough you can see when I go missing. I hole up inside my head and I drop off of the internet and I don’t return calls or emails. I tend to disappear from myself at the same time. I put on a smile the same way that I put on a mask when I leave the house…because I’m contagious in a way. If I spend enough time around you you’ll feel it. Empathetic people or people with their own demons are most vulnerable.

Sometimes I wonder if this thing in my head is like a virus. Maybe I pick it up from the wind when the world is on fire. Sometimes, when it’s very bad I worry that I’m making the world worse with my broken mind. I know it’s not true, rationally, but rational doesn’t really translate in my head when things get sideways.

I am very lucky. I have such amazing support and fantastic tools and medicine and doctors and a community of people behind me. And still I struggle. So perhaps today you don’t have all of that behind you. Or maybe you do but you’re still struggling…with the things in your head or the things that are real and terrifying. Wherever you are, right now, I want you to know how needed you are. I want you to know that you are important and loved and that even if you feel alone, know that you are not. You make so much more of a difference than you know…just by being alive. Just by being here.

If you can, text a few people today to let them know that you care. I don’t know why but it helps. It helps them and it feels like a tiny lifeline even if they don’t respond. It reminds you that you love. It reminds you of the good things that tether you to reality rather than the lies your brain may tell you. It reminds you that people are worth fighting for…and that one of those people is you.

If you are reading this, I love you.

**********

And now, the weekly wrap-up.

Except…well, not exactly because honestly I’m a bit too tired to round up all the links of stuff that happened this week and I’m giving myself permission to skip all of that because I know you’ll understand. And this post is sponsored but I’m donating the proceeds to the San Antonio Food Bank because they really need help right now.

This week’s wrap-up is sponsored by Wild Yonder Botanicals (1% for the Planet Member) have brought back monthly delivery of their gem and honey infused minerals bath salts! They can be used for a relaxing bath or as a body scrub! They are made with pure essential oils, resins and herbs and are infused with biodynamic organic honey they pick up locally from the longest running biodynamic farm in the country. You can also choose to have face scrubs delivered too 🙂 Starting at just $7.99 a month with tons of love and shipping included. You should check them out here.

141 thoughts on “I see you”

Read comments below or add one.

  3. You are loved, and I care. I’m glad you have a support system because the world would be less without you. Take care, take time and come back when you are ready. Love and virtual hugs.

  4. I love you too Jenny! You always seem to write exactly what I need to hear when I need to hear it! Hope you feel better soon!!!

  8. This is how I feel. Yes. Like the collective consciousness of those who care deeply is twitching in my DNA, but I don’t know how to activate it, so I curl into a ball and wait for the fires to subside. I don’t have much spare energy to give right now, but I’ll send out what I can. Much love.

  9. Thoughts of you are with me constantly; bits of humor, advice (depression lies), and kinship through your tribe. You are present even when one of us feels like they are missing. Your place in my heart is forever. Thank you.

  10. I am going through a really rough time and my mental state is not helping. I’m sorry you’re going through a hard time, too, but also it makes me feel less crazy that people feel the way I do all the time. I’ve been told that I need to “deal with it” and “get my shit together” but, well, you know.
    Thanks for the post today.

  13. Jenny I love you and all the other strangelings reading this. Sending all of you love and hugs ❤

  17. And so now I’m crying in my kitchen. Thanks for that. No really, thanks Jenny 💕❤

  18. Thank you so much. This might have saved me today. My significant other is digital communications coordinator for the city of mpls. 15-18 hour work days trying to help the city he loves since Monday.
    I haven’t been sleeping, and I can’t move, and I have spent 5 days and nights of wishing I could be stronger and do more to help stand up for those who are in anguish and grieving and oppressed.
    Today I got up feeling hopeless and weary. And yes, I think your post reminded me of love, as all your posts do. Thank you for being a light for those of us who need it, even when you’re fighting your own battle.

  20. I love you back, and I love this whole strange wonderful group of people you brought together. They’re my support, even though most of them don’t know it.

  23. Thank you for writing this! I can’t begin to describe how much I needed to hear all of that. Seriously struggling and weekends are the hardest. You made me feel like I matter and someone cares… thank you.

  24. You’re changing the world even when you aren’t there. The other day I was in Walmart looking for a certain vitamin. A Walmart employee hollered at me “you’re going nowhere” and I thought “how does she know”. Then I realized I was wearing my Nowhere Bookstore shirt. She and I and another customer had a long discussion about how I personally think Now Here when I read it as how wonderful it is that a book when you’re No Where makes you feel Now Here.
    All three is us talking in the vitamin aisle had been seemingly tired and sad and grumpy with the world the way it is. And because of you, Jenny, we all wound up laughing and sharing a moment. Both of them will be looking for your blog and your books. And they both promised to look for your bookstore if they ever get down your way. You’re changing the world with your thoughts.

  25. Jenny, you don’t know how much I needed this today.
    Nobody else does know….but I struggle.
    I love you, too, Jenny.
    Just when I need you most, you pop into my inbox and reassure me and strengthen me and wrap me in a big virtual hug that doesn’t stop. I hope you can feel the big virtual hug that I am sending you. You made a GREAT BIG DIFFERENCE in my life today and every day — even when I don’t hear from you, I know you are there!

  26. Damn, it’s like we share headspace, or maybe it’s one of those things where the floorplan got reused. I’m lucky enough to be in remission from depression for a couple of years now, but the stress of these past months and of the past few days especially is really hurting me.

    I love you too. Even if your writing had not made me laugh until I gasped and/or cried, I would still love you. The world is a better place with you in it. I’m glad you’re here and very grateful for your love. Thank you.

  27. I had an appointment with my therapist yesterday morning and the most important thing she said to me out of the entire hour was when she simply asked me how I was doing and how I was coping with the continued isolation. I’ve been holding onto it since yesterday. I’ve been feeling extra alone lately and it’s crazy how such a small thing can make such a difference. It’s like letting some of the weight roll off my shoulders because there is somebody out there who sees me.

    I’m afraid to tell my friends or family about my struggling because I already feel so much less than them, and I’m afraid if I showed them everything it would diminish my value further in their eyes. But here, on these pages, you and everyone else who reads along and comments reach out and say “I get it, and its OK, I feel it too.” It helps.

  29. If l could, l would just go sit next to you. I wouldn’t talk, just sit and remind you that YOU matter in this world. It is what you do for me all the time with your posts.

  30. I so needed this today. Thank you.
    You, your writing, and this community have been a lifeline to me for years. Even more so these days. You DO make a difference. You are valued. You are important. And you are Loved.

    Big hugs to you. <3
    (Okay, maybe not hugs right now. Fist bump?)

    –Beck

  32. Thank you Jenny! My heart hurts so much right now. I struggle with my depression but the world right now makes everything much worse. Thank you for being there, for your words.

  33. I really needed this today, Jenny. I have been struggling with the world and my place in it. Thank you for always being so honest and raw. It helps so many of us. <3 <3 <3 (the first time I sent that to my husband he said "why are you saying less than butts? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?" So now sometimes we say I love you by texting each other "butts" or a peach emoji.)

  34. Jenny, I love this post and thank you for making it, and being in my world.

  35. Thank you for posting. You mean a lot to me although I only know you through your work. You write so eloquently – I particularly love these two sentences:
    “Sometimes I wonder if this thing in my head is like a virus. Maybe I pick it up from the wind when the world is on fire.”

  36. I’m struggling too, Jenny. I always do but some times are worse than others. You matter. Oh my, I can’t imagine the world without your humor. You see funny in the worst times. I don’t. I need that. You are amazing. Love you back,

  39. I saw you Thursday night with John Moe for his book release event. Thank you for being open and upfront about your current mental health. And a bigger thank you for wearing your faux hair as a ZZ Top beard!! It totally made my day!!!

  45. Love back at you. I had something brilliant to say and by the time I got to the end of your post I had ‘lost’ it……damn. but know that i am with you………

  46. Needed this. Thanks for making me cry and smile at the same time.

  48. My therapist made me tape this note to the bottom of my computer. Maybe it will also work for you:

    I deserve love
    I deserve protection
    I deserve care

    I look at that everyday. Oh rather, I make myself look at it every day. It’s been helpful in recent months. Just thought I’d spread the word.

    Love to you Jenny.

  49. Thanks for you, Jenny! Your Rory mask was the highlight of my shift at the hospital on Friday, so keep creating, we love you and will continue to support you! Just like you do for us!

  50. Thanks, Jennifer.
    I am one of the ones who doesn’t “have all that” in terms of support, and am alone.
    Not that I am not used to that. but still.
    I like what you wrote about being loved, important and needed.
    Just wish I could believe that it actually applies to me. But I don’t.

  51. We love you too, Jenny. And tell Hailey at least one person out there is worried and thinking about her too.

    I have a son who is about the same age as Hailey and this last two, three months has been SO tough on him. I know that parenting teens…hell…ANY age kids really…through this shit is SO hard.

    Hang in there y’all.

  54. Jenny you are simply an inspiration to those of us who know how deadly the words depression lies really are. Thank you for sharing your wicked wonderful sense of humor! Be Well and safe and we love you too!

  55. I struggle a lot more than I let on to my family.I’ve been having even more anxiety than usual the last couple of days and it’s so hard. I thought I was the only one. My family ignores issues, because if you ignore it, it can’t bother you then can it? That’s what they think anyway. I feel better reading this because I know I’m not the only one now. I have proof I’m not alone. Thank you.

  56. Thank you for posting this. Also, advocating for ourselves for our physical and mental health when we are sick or just know that something isn’t right can feel so overwhelming especially sometimes when people don’t believe us. Knowing that we’re never really alone helps when it gets tiring.

  58. In the immortal words of a bad movie, but so true for you and all of us:

    Never Stop Never Stopping

  59. My heart goes out to you. You are brave in the struggle with mental illness. I hope for a day when there are better long-term treatments. This week has been particularly difficult. I have been searching for hope.

  61. I’ve been struggling with a DEEP depressive mood dive the past week. It was great to read this <3
    Sending hugs and love from my side~!

  62. Sending love to you, Jenny. I’m in the same boat. Perhaps it’s cosmic or, more likely, everything that’s going on right now and how it’s all bubbling over simultaneously. Thank you for your post.
    Over the weekend I wrote a new blog about racism and being a revolutionary as Facebook and Instagram banned my blog (epileptaste.wordpress.com) after the news kind of killed me and also after I resurrected from being killed.

    Not a feel good thing to read, I guess but I live in Milwaukee and… it’s a war zone here.

    https://epileptaste.wordpress.com/2020/05/31/now-a-banned-blog-trying-to-live-up-to-its-reputation-like-america-and-its-liberty-and-justice-for-all-brand-messaging/

  64. Thank you for always trying. Even when trying equals just enduring and surviving. Love you so much.

  65. I very much needed this today. I feel very alone. Thank you for reminding me I am not.

  66. Thank you for this…on what is a ‘teary’ day. It seems I have more of them lately. The news-OrangeOne-pandemic-and dear-god-I-can’t-bear-to-see-that-knee-on-that-poor-man’s-neck-again…. I am horrified. Horrified to tears at all that is happening. And continuing to happen. There are days when I feel like I just can’t…I CAN’T feel this – fight this – one more day. I’m just so damn tired of it all. Tired of pushing through, bucking up, making myself get out of bed every day.

    And then I see your post.

    You must have an endless reserve of inner strength because I don’t know how you keep going sometimes…but you do.

    And because you do, I will too.

    Thank you.

  67. I’m glad you’re here. And I appreciate the “like” button so we can remind you that you are liked and even loved, even if you’re not on the internet at the moment.

  68. Thank you for all you do! I don’t have any wise of thoughtful things, and gosh, it’s hard to lift out of the dark with all the things going on in the world right now. So, I did one thing I knew I could, which was make a small donation the San Antonio Food Bank and tell them that I did so because of you.

  69. It’s been horrible! I had a telemedicine appointment with my counselor yesterday. That helped a lot. Love to ALL the strangelings and maybe I will include myself 🤷🏻‍♀️

  70. thank you I just got home from a 4 hour drive that should have taken 2 hours. We were rerouted off of the highway because of an accident. Traffic was crawling. And it gave the negative voices a chance to come center stage. I needed this right now.

  72. Thanks for sharing, Jenny. Love you. Hugs to you and all who are struggling right now.

  73. I know, I know: it’s been said. Tough shit. I’m gonna say it anyway: Thank you Jenny for being. Your being willing to be has helped SO many people. YOU are much needed.

  74. <3 My head is full, my heart is full, my eyes are brimming all the damn time. I am grateful for you, Jenny and for only being injured, repaired, and not truly crippled. Hopeful. That's my weekly roundup because an honest word would make my head explode. God what a shitshow.

  75. This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you so much Jenny. You are a shining light in this cloudy world. I love you and am so grateful for you!

  76. Everyday I struggle to find THE PLACE that I CONTROL so I can take over and stop the negative self-talk. Because…that is all it is !!! Think about it,depression is Nothing more than a chronic self-mean habit of believing the negative-self-talk everyone else has too but just less or for some reason better at fighting up and out of the abyss of believing it to SANITY…. 🙏🏼❤️👏🏼

  77. Thank you Jenny. I love you too. I know we have not met( I hope we get to someday!) But I feel like we are friends,at least here. Your books and this blog have helped me in so many ways. Thank you my virtual friend. I send you lots of virtual hugs

  78. I need some perspective, can someone chime in?: is it really acceptable for a neighbor to let their kids run around in their yard screaming as loud as they can for hours at a time? I mean *really* screaming like they are being tortured. I can’t go outside, it’s sending my stress and anxiety levels thru the roof (making this quarantine feel even more claustrophobic). My husband thinks the only option is to bear it, so I haven’t tried speaking to them (and there will likely be a language barrier). Also, there must be an ADHD issue or something for it to be this bad (but then again they are all screaming so I don’t know). I already feel so fragile it’s beginning to feel like why go on when the world is diseased and burning and I can’t even find refuge at home…

  79. Thank you for putting this up. It feels like a lot of people are in a weird space right now, including me. I also sometimes feel like my depression is a virus, I imagine that there is a different smell that is around me, the way sometimes you can tell someone has an illness because their sweat smells sweet or tangy (for those with strong noses). I don’t know the answer, I doubt it? I have allowed myself to be rather stoic right now and reserved to save energy so maybe I will feel better soon.

  80. Ok everybody I’m sorry about comment #78 I wrote that impulsively because I’m desperate and not thinking straight and I guess that was what you call hijacking a comments section so everyone please disregard…I know children are the future and those are sounds of joy and all that happy horsesh*t but I just want to understand if there isn’t a point at which it becomes something neighbors shouldn’t be expected to endure. I mean there are regulations on other sounds that aren’t even as loud as these kids…

  81. Sending much love to you and all on this post who are needing it right now. We are here and all doing the best we can, keep going it will be worth it.

  82. love to all here. We all need it and we all deserve it.

  83. I care. You are important to me. It doesn’t matter how long she take; I will wait. 🧚‍♀️📚👩‍💻🥰

  84. Hey 78 and 80, I’m with you. In my neighborhood it’s barking dogs. I have generalized anxiety disorder and the sound of barking dogs makes my anxiety just TAKE OFF. I wish I didn’t have a bad brain. I can’t bear the thought of feeling like this forever. I worry about everything and right now there’s just so much. Depression SUCKS and the older I get, the worse it gets. I guess I’ll have to accept that I’ll never not be mentally ill. It’s so exhausting.

  86. I identify with everything you described. I’ve had depression since childhood. I’m 65 and I want you to know that it GETS BETTER. You learn to rely on your bag of tricks that are proven salvos i.e. stay away from the news, watch only funny tv shows, exercise etc. (My examples obviously are not for everyone, especially if your symptoms are more severe)
    My biggest issue is sequestering and not seeking outside help. I feel responsible. I feel like I need to hide. I feel like I’m being lazy. I feel like I am smart enough to fix this.
    I am having “a do nothing day” today. That is when all I can do is sleep and watch Netflix. I try not to beat myself up too much about it. Thank you for making me feel less alone!

  87. I wish your brain would let you see how much help and happiness you bring to the world. You are spoken of in our house daily. Never doubt you make the world a better place. Maybe you need sign on your desk to remind you. Every person that reads your words feels this way about you.

  88. I see you too. You have made such a difference for thousands of us readers. You are loved.
    Hang in there, we can do this.

  89. Symptoms may worsen when the world is on fire: 100%.

    There’s something about the combination of the statistics with the individual personal stories/faces that make those statistics come to life and be unbearable. And then, while reeling from the sheer magnitude of a problem, you run into individual, “normal” people who say, basically, that things are fine; that poverty is very simply the fault of the person who’s poor, or that violence (unless it’s against someone like them, of course) is probably the fault of the person injured, or that harassment is not actually a problem because there’s no visible injury… it’s not something I cope well with.

    But:
    “Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.”*

    I think encouraging people to keep going, and to keep encouraging other people, is doing some of that work? Probably? So there is that. How to work for justice, I am not sure. But it might, in fact, also start in the place where we’re reeling and Simply Not Okay with things as they are.

    *I would properly cite the quote, but… it’s apparently a paraphrase of Rabbi Rami Shapiro’s something or other on someone else’s something or other of a specific passage of the Talmud, which itself is talking about Micah 6:8, and I have *no idea* how to cite that in APA, MLA, or anything else because that is a lot of layers. Like an ogre.

  90. Wow …it’s like you were actually in my head this week. I’ve struggled, although I don’t know why. Thank you for sharing and reminding me that sometimes my brain does lie to me. I like the way you put that! I love you too Jenny!

  91. You are so allowed to give yourself a break. Taking care of yourself helps always. It’s a struggle but you’ve got this. I believe in you.

  92. Hey Julie #84…thanks for the shout out to me, #78/80…don’t even get me started on dog barking, it’s like they transmit their angst straight into my brain. But luckily we have an ordinance against excessive dog barking. You might want to check your local noise ordinances to see if you can get any help. Or even fight to enact such an ordinance (which is a hilarious thing for me to say, knowing that I don’t even have the energy to shower these days). In the meantime just know that someone understands what you’re experiencing. Let’s hold virtual hands and get through this together. 🙂

  96. Nice to know I’m not the only one having a rough time. My housemate is suffering from PTSD and just had another loud explosive emotional meltdown after an argument with her boyfriend. She’s a very stubborn proud person who has refused any help or counselling. All I can do is give her the space she needs. It’s a long-weekend where I live, so today is a self-care blanket burrito day. Stay safe, and please take care of yourself.

  97. It’s not that you’re “contagious” – it’s like my husband says when he talks about me and my daughter and the people we encounter – because the odd ones seek us out. He says, “They know you hear the voices, too!”

    Seriously, we don’t actually hear voices (or maybe just a little). But we attract weirdos. Usually benevolent weirdos, but weirdos just the same. That’s usually ok, because we’re weirdos, too! We just get found by the weirder weirdos sometimes! 😉

    But it’s really not everyone that can make the lady in front of her in the grocery store line feel comfortable enough that she should confide in a stranger (me, in this case) that she (weird lady in front of me, and years ago, so only about a foot from me) had a colostomy bag. She felt the need to prove the bag existed by…… rustling it at me under her clothing. She was far more pleased by this interaction than I was. She may be the reason I was already stocked up with hand sanitizer before the sh*t hit the fan.

  98. This post came at precisely the right time. I’ve long believed that you are prescient. Thank you.

  102. Thank you. Life can feel very tough at the minute. The current state of the world is mind blowing, but also there are people like you working to help others. I’m so grateful for you and your blog and the fact that you make it feel ok to give yourself permission to rest, to be truly myself. What also helps is reading the comments of other people, they are vital, so you are absolutely right to say that your readers are important to many. You are so important to so many people too.

  103. As always, just when I need you the most. It’s lonely in my mind but you’re always welcome.

  106. Jenny, you are the best at knowing when I need to hear something. This made my (often sad, always grieving, and usually smiling) day today. I love you.

  107. You are Pissah and very inspiring please continue to be you!!! Thank you😊

  108. I almost choked to death in my bed around 1am. It was an accident, I fell asleep with a candy in my mouth. Obviously I eventually dislodged it and could breathe.

    And twenty minutes ago I was reminded that my dog of 13 years died very suddenly three years ago around the same time. If there are soul mates that dog was mine. People may laugh, because he was “just a dog” but I have never loved anyone like I loved him. He was the closest thing I will have to a child. Part of my heart and soul are missing since he died. A tiny, bad part of my brain wishes what happened last night went the other way, just to see him again. Instead I’ll spend today remembering him, and how he saved my life when I was 25 and in a dangerous place, but knowing he would be left alone stopped me.. Maybe he saved me last night too, who knows.

  109. I’m on meds since Friday, and it already helps me a lot. Anxiety was paralyzing me, and now it seems I can get SEVERAL things done in a day. So much more than sitting all day doing nothing besides letting my inner voice torment me with crazy idiotic stories. Hopefully depression will improve too.

    Jenny, you are right, sometimes we can get help and things can get better. Thanks for your words, lighting a candle along this dark path.

    Bear hug from Paris, France. Take care. Love you too.

  110. Jenny I just want to say you educate and inspire me with every post. While life is hard you still manage to drag yourself up and encourage the rest of us. Thank you for being the loving leader you are.

  111. Love you back, love all of your fans and their feedback! My grandfather was an alcoholic and suffered from depression his whole life until his seventies it started to lift. The last 20 years of his life he stopped drinking in his own, and he stopped being so angry and withdrawn, and started to enjoy his life. My mother has suffered from depression her whole life as have her siblings. She was talking with one of her brothers recently and he told her he felt his depression was lifting as he entered his seventies. It just lessened a little bit more and more every year and now he feels like this tremendous weight that held him down his whole life had just gradually seeped away. So there is hope that in some people you can outgrow your hormones or body chemistry that makes you depressed. I know that my migraines improved as I went into peri menopause. I’ve spoken with my mom and many women who have finished the Change and they said the migraines that they suffered with their whole lives mostly went away after menopause. So there is some hope. I feel like our whole world is having a massive migraine right now, and it will eventually ease up little by little. But we are in a whole lot of pain right now. So I am working on spreading kindness, patience, and checking in on people. When I venture out to grocery shop I try to smile with my eyes above the mask. I let people cut ahead of me in line if they have fewer items. I offer to get items on the top shelf for shorter people. I hold doors open. I say thank you to all the people who work at the store. I find the friendlier and politer and more helpful I am, the happier I become, because I’ve made someone else’s day a little less sucky! So sending love and virtual hugs and kindness out to everyone who is suffering, we will get through this together even though we are socially distant.

  112. SAME, dude. I’ve deleted all social media. It’s a step in the right direction. Made myself a kayak trailer so I’m not lifting the dang thing over my head onto the roof rack anymore and I’m teaching myself to back that thing up (insert bad dancing here________) which is entertainment in itself. Side note, if anyone super talented in painting, I dunno, wild kayaking scenes with mythical animals? Van Gogh-esque scenes? Cartoon oddities? onto the top of this trailer and wants to come hang/kayak/be weird and depressed and occasionally weepy yet hysterical and darkly humorous in Ohio HMU yo. Or something like that.

    Forging on!!

    Sarah

  115. Thank you for making us feel like we’re not alone. I’m a Navy vet from Desert Storm and having been having a hard time. Sometimes I’m great and sometimes I’m not.

  116. Thank you. The past week or so has been hard. I wish I could stop crying. Sending love,

  121. You are also important and loved. And, you make a difference in my life. Many times you have brightened my day and given me reasons to laugh. Your honesty when you are wrong and struggling reminds me that it’s OK to be that way too. Hugs.

  122. Thank you for always being so real. Your books, interviews I have seen, and your blog, are an inspiration for me. I suffer from treatment resistant major depression and anxiety, and it took many years, and a painfully broken relationship, to realize how sick I was. Now, I speak up about it. I will tell my stories, my treatment, and medication failures, to anyone who asks, “How are you going these days?” Even if that’s not what they were asking, and sometimes to complete strangers. (Well, you asked, sir…) I have always said that my brain is broken, and people don’t understand, because humor, sarcasm, and random inappropriate impulsive comments are my lifeline, and they don’t realize it’s to keep from falling apart from the pain, and also, that I have a really hard time not saying things. I keep wishing that, one day, one of my doctors will say, “Hey, let’s get some images of your brain,” and they will see some big spot and mumble, “Huh, you were right. Your brain IS broken. We’ll just chop that chunk off, and you should be a ‘normal’ person again!” Until then, I will just keep telling my story, and changing medications, and trying the next new treatment (I just finished with 6 weeks of mostly ineffective rTMS) because people, all people, need to know what we have to live with, from the frantic days where you can’t stop inappropriate giggling at everything, to the mornings you wake up, and wish you hadn’t. I read “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened,” my first night in my new apartment, after my partner of eight years, told me to leave, because she just couldn’t do it anymore. I lay in bed and read that book, from cover to cover. It was the first time, in as long as I could remember, that I had laughed so hard that I was crying, my jaws and sides hurt, and I was so grateful to you (mostly, but my crabby Fatcat did hiss and swat at me, leaving a nice Freddy Kruger looking scratch on my arm, because I laughed so loud, and rolled over on her, at one point). You keep doing you, Jenny, because you made me understand that we’re ok, we don’t have to hide, and we will get to that next day, and still be able to laugh about it- because that’s how we keep going. You, too, are loved. Thank you.

  125. Pingback: I see you - Earn 8 Magazine

  126. Nobody sees me. Nobody needs me. I am so small.

    (You are not small. You are important. And I see you. ~ Jenny)

  127. I am usually an optomistic person with little darkness in my life such as that about which you write. Your posts help me be more empathatic with those around me who have more difficult outlooks, and recognize the difficulties that they may be having. In many ways, your sharing provide bright lights that help me to see beyond myself. Thank you.
    Sandra

  128. Jenny – would you please repost the link where we shared addresses for post cards? I’d like to reach out I’m kind of computer inept. Thanks and hugs!

  131. This feels weird to say the least. This has always been a place where I have envied community. I am at bottom of the barrel and had an evaluation today and it was requested that I go to San Antonio behavioral hospital. They basically told me without insurance the daily price is astronomical. I’ve been before but unfortunately I have lost my insurance, have no income and as a person who is already on high alert due to the state of everything going to a state hospital or somewhere I’ve been and not treated with dignity isn’t really an option. I don’t know if anyone will see this but if there’s any suggestions that don’t make me feel treated like an animal, I would welcome the help.

  139. Hi Jenny, thanks for sharing this. I believe many agree that the majority of us “waste” a lot of time on social media and internet. However, sometimes we come across posts like this and for some it is a wake up call. Some would be thinking in the loved ones that are far away and we don’t see for a long time. This might be enough to trigger the person to make “that” phone call to bright up someone’s day. Some would start thinking that we should use our time wisely and will start learning new skills and not taking for granted the “spare” time most of us have at the moment. When I say learning, it could be anything really. It does not mean to get a “qualification”. But, to get a “skill”, be good at something! Learn how to cook, how to draw, how to sing, or learn a new craft. When you learn and spend time doing something you like, the time goes fast and you wish you have more and more time to keep doing things you love. Learning a craft and using your creativity not just enjoyable but also therapeutic and more important, it could help to relive anxiety and stress. Love to all x

  140. Pingback: I see you

  141. It’s been a rough few days and I’ve been feeling lost and stuck inside my head and like I don’t matter. And so I came here because I knew I’d find help and understanding. And of course I did. I love this whole wonderful tribe.

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