Happy birthday to us!

Once read that in some Slavic countries some people believed that those who were born on “the unclean days” – from Christmas Eve through Epiphany (January 6th) – were given special powers and may become vampires or vampire hunters. Seems like a weird sort thing but since I’m half Slavic and I was born today I think that makes me half vampire and half vampire hunter and that probably explains why I self-sabotage so much and also why garlic gives me a headache.

But since it’s my birthday that means presents! But I don’t need anything so instead I’m giving you a present because I just found a box of hard-cover copies of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened and they literally don’t even make them anymore. (The hard-cover version, I mean. You can still get the soft-cover.)

Want a signed copy? Just leave a comment and I’ll pick 10 of you at random for a vampire birthday surprise! (Just make sure you leave me an email address that you check.) Also, I only have pre-paid flat-rate US mailers so I can only send to America. Sorry, Canada et all. I still love you. You’re just really expensive. (Because you’re special.)

PS. If you already have a copy of LPTNH you can go over to the NowhereBookshop instagram where they’re giving away a gift card today for my birthday. YAY FOR ANY BOOK YOU WANT!


1,120 thoughts on “Happy birthday to us!

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  1. I’m game 🙂 I could give my sister this copy as she lost hers. Either way Happy Birfday!

  2. Happy Birthday!! I absolutely love your books and would love an autographed copy.

  3. Happy Birthday! My SIL was born Dec. 25th. This bit of knowledge is going to make him so happy!!

  4. Happy vampire birthday Jenny! I’d love a hard cover of your book! 🎉🎂

  5. Although I am in Canada, if picked I will suggest donating a copy to the Duluth Minnesota Public Library because I have a soft spot for that city.

    Happy Birthday.


  6. I read this book (and Furiously Happy) to my wife on vacation one summer. We laughed, we cried, she had to change her pants once or twice….

    You have become part of our love story.

    In a good way…

  7. I’ve already got a signed hardcover from you, but I wanted to wish you a very happy and unclean birthday! Go bathe in some garlic in the moonlight or something.

  8. Confess, would love a hardcopy of my favorite book.
    But most of all, I would love to wish you a happy, stake-through-your-heart-free day!
    Blessings for the year ahead.

  9. My birthday is the 22nd, so I like to think I can ride the coattails of this vampire/warrior princess club! Thank you for making Christmas adjacent birthdays a bit cooler. Here’s to no one getting you a Christmas-wrapped birthmas gift!

  10. I would love one a signed copy!

    Side note – how did you stumble onto a box of out of print books? Lol

  11. Happy Birthday, Jenny! You’ve made my quarantine so much better. I’ve got a hardcover copy of Furiously Happy, and I’d love to have a hardcover of Let’s Pretend, so I can pass my paperback along to someone else who needs it!

  12. I would love a copy and Happy Day (vampire or no)! You have helped me a lot, btw, in this totally wackado year – thru the pandemic but they personal hurdles, too. Thank you.

  13. Happy Birthday Jenny! You bring such joy to my life and I wish you the same. I’d love a signed copy of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened. It’s one of my favorite books and I’ve gifted it to many others, yet I don’t own a copy. A dear friend lent me her copy.

  14. A teacher over here who needs a good book to give her an excuse to not work so da*n much!!

  15. I would love a copy for my girlfriend. I’ve already loaned out 2 copies (never to be seen again).

  16. Happy birthday! At my last job we were called the vampires because we were the night shift crew. We all embraced it.

  17. Happy Birthday Jenny! It’s actually my birthday too (really it is- I guess we could be half vampires together?)

    I hope you have a good quarantine birthday.

  18. Happy birthday! Sending hugs and thoughts of cuddly little duckings. And also a dragon. 🎂🦆🐉

  19. Cool! Happy Birthday! I want special powers! And I want one of these books. I used to have an autographed copy but a friend borrowed it and claims to not know where it is. Argh.

    One of my dogs is Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The other is Genghis. 😉

    Thanks for the book club too! I’ve never read so much in one year before.

    Jennifer Bennett

  20. Happy Happy birthday Jenny, may this coming year bring much peace, happiness, joy, and vaccines!! May we all come wandering out from our bunkers and step an actual foot into Nowhere Bookstore!!

  21. Happy Happy birthday!! I love the Old Slavic language – “uterus” translates roughly to “old bucket” 😃

  22. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNY!!!! I have a birthday coming up as well and would love a book if possible. <3

  23. One of my oldest and dearest friends has a birthday today too! Funny enough, I was going to send her a copy of this exact book because it is the exact kind of thing we laugh about together, but I haven’t actually gotten around to getting it and sending it to her. Maybe that makes me a terrible friends, but a signed copy sent a little late might make me an awesome friend!

  24. Happy Birthday Jenny! I’m such a heathen I don’t even know why these days would be unclean. But anyway I love vampires so win!

  25. Happy, happy birthday! I hope you have a fabulous day. My birthday isn’t on an “unclean”day, but my daughter tells me I’m a vampire anyway. I can’t stand too much light in my house.

  26. Happy birthday Jenny!! This is one of my favorite books— “COME IN, CHUCK” always makes me laugh. I would LOVE a signed copy from such a fantastic vampire such as yourself!!! ♥️

  27. Happy birthday!! Your explanation for self-sabotaging because you’re a vampire/vampire hunter is spot on. That’s hilarious. I would love a copy of your book! I have Furiously Happy but haven’t had a chance to read LPTNH yet. I hope you have a fantabulous day!

  28. Happy half vampire-half hunter birthday Jenny! My daughter is a new years eve baby, so this will definitely make her happy, although I think she’d rather be a werewolf. Is there a loophole for that?

  29. Happy Natal Anniversary you wonder-full woman! The world is so much better because you are in it! <3

  30. Well never heard of that before about this time of year 🙂 Happy birthday to you 😀

  31. Happiest of birthdays to someone who made this year a lot more tolerable! Thank you for being you.

  32. Happy birthday! I didn’t know about these special powers, and since I was born on Dec 28th, I am super excited to hear that I have them too! Yay! I would love a hardcopy of the book, because I gave my original copy to a friend and that would mean she can keep it! LOL!

  33. Happy birthday Jenny! I’ve read the book and you’ve been amazing in the past so, as awesome as it would be to have one, if I’m chosen, please bless the next person. Stay amazing! ❤️

  34. Happy Birthday you fantastic beast! I just joined the book club, super excited!! Yesss, lots of exclamation points!!!!! 🙂

  35. I sent your audio book Furiously Happy to all my friends. They love it!!! Happy birthday 🎂

  36. Happy birthday to you! Thank you for sharing your wonderful stories and cool pictures with us.

  37. Have a fabulous birthday!! I’ll be 69 on January 4th, just recently retired, so maybe my next career is as a vampire hunter!!

  38. Happy birthday to you! I love that you have a good explanation for self-sabotage!!! My only excuse is that I’m a Libra 😀

  39. Happy birthday! I saw you at the bookstore in Atlanta when this first launched, but I couldn’t bring myself to stand in line to get it signed. It was a BIG crowd! I was a little disappointed, aside from the appalling story you read, you seemed so normal. 🙂

  40. Happy birthday. It’s my husband’s birthday too. He’s Chinese and introduced me to Chinese vampires. They hop. Like bunnies.

  41. Happy birthday you wonderful human! Being half vampi might explain the insomnia… Have a great day and may the rest of the year outshine the beginning.

  42. Got my brother a copy of furiously happy for Christmas but, man, would I love to add this book to it as well. His birthday is in January.

  43. 🥳🥳🥳🎁🎁🎁🎉🎉🎉🍾🍾🍾🥂🥂🥂🐈🐕🐈💕💕💕 Happy birthday! LPTNH is one of my most favorite books, and is quite honestly the funniest book I’ve read in my lifetime. Would love a hardback version 😍

  44. Happy Birthday, you Glorious Woman! I hope this next year Is filled with wonders that fill your heart with Furious Happiness!

  45. Happiest of birthdays to you! You are a bright shining star that brings happiness to us all!

  46. Holy cow I would love a signed copy! I had you surprise me with a signature on my copy of You Are Here and it was the best signature on anything ever!

    Also, happy birthday! Despite the year being a nightmare hellscape I hope you enjoy the day!

  47. Hoppy bird day two ewe! I’d also love a copy of your book, though I’m still planning to buy one if I don’t win.

  48. I was hoping you would have a Canada counterpart for stuff like this. That way Canadians who love you and your books could get in on it

  49. Happy birthday and happy blood sucking/vampire slaying! I’d love a copy of your book

  50. Happiest of Birthdays – there’s nothing like finding a mystery box of things you didn’t know you had! <3 Let's consider it a good omen for 2021 (because really, we need one and the reverse cannot be tolerated these days).

  51. Well, toast to you, my favorite author! (True Blood shot glasses all around)! Happy Birthday!

  52. Happy Birthday! I hope it’s a wonderful start to a much more wonderful year!

  53. Happy birthday! Does vampire (or vampire hunting) power make up for years of getting joint Christmas/birthday gifts?

  54. It’s my Birthday today too so Happy Vampire Birthday to both of us!! 🥳🥳

  55. Happy birthday! Thank you for continuing to bring light to this dumpster fire of a year!

  56. Happy Vampire Birthday! What do you eat to celebrate? Blood sausage cake? Gross! Don’t be disgusting Jenny.

  57. Happy Vampire Birthday!!! I’d kill for a signed copy of your book! Ok, not kill, but definitely flaunt it in front of my friends and brag about how cool I am!

  58. Happy Birthday! I would LOVE a copy. I lent mine out to a friend and they liked it so much I have never seen it again!

  59. Happy birthday Vampire-Hunter Jenny! I have a signed copy from your book tour to MN for Let’s Pretend (I gave you Mad Housewife wine, you gave me autographs) so no need to include me in your drawing, just hope you have a fabulous birthday.

  60. Happy birthday to someone who always makes me laugh. It seems fitting that you discovered you might be a vampire or vampire hunter in this, The Year of the Plagues.

  61. Happiest Birthday! Your books changed my life (and some clients who I passed them on to) and for that, I’m so grateful you were born 💜

  62. Happy birthday, Jenny! Thank you for bringing so much light to the world during some pretty dark times.

  63. Happy Birthday, Jenny! Wow, unclean, huh? Never heard of that. I just missed it having been born on January 11. I would love a signed hardback and would gladly pay for one. But in the off-chance you pick me, my e-dress is merecaver@yahoo.com

  64. Happy Birthday. Mine is the 27 or Third Day of Christmas. I knew it was Hell Week for birthdays but didn’t know about vampire thing. Maybe that explains the blackouts….

  65. Happy Birthday! I would love this book in hardcover. Waiting for the day I can visit the store!

  66. Happy Birthday! My birthday (and also my mom’s) is tomorrow. I’m not Slavic, but part Slovak. So I’m an unclean vampire with a forgotten birthday (bc no one remembers birthdays between two major holidays). Happy Birthday, fellow Capricorn!

  67. Happy Birthday Jenny! I already have a hard copy of LPTNH but I’d love a signed copy. Then I can share my old one!

  68. Happy Birthday Jenny! Thank you for making me smile every day. I’m glad you’re you !

  69. Happy birthday. Since you were born during this time, do we add you into the song of the 12 days of Christmas?

  70. Happy, Happy Birthday, Jenny! Enjoy your day and watch out for those pesky vampires. 🎁🎈🎂

  71. I am SO jealous right now. I wonder what the secret to triggering your vampire side is? It’s probably something icky and anxiety inducing isn’t it? I don’t see vampirism being triggered by something nice and calming.

    I hope you have the best possible day. Happy Birthday!

  72. Happy Birthday!! I’m part of the unclean birthdays, and I had no idea. This is amazing!! I’m Christmas Eve and we just spent my birthday under quarantine since my husband had COVID. So I’ll be celebrating once we are clear to escape our apartment! But yay for December kids!!

  73. My birthday is on January 2, and I am thrilled to join you in this group. Would also love the book, as this is my favorite.

  74. Happy birthday Jenny!🎂🎁 You’ve helped me so much during quarantine through your funny posts and thoughtful, brilliant books, so grateful for you! Thanks so much for being born today and being you!


  75. Happy Birthday, Jenny!
    I remember reading your book and finally feeling like someone gets me, out there with my battle against anxiety and depression. I would like one to lend out to my Mom, and Best friend that I share books between with, so maybe, they might understand my admittedly unique way of thinking!


  76. Happy Birthday!! And thank you for loving weird taxidermy, my husband doesn’t get it, but I love it!

  77. I work in a library and recommend your books to every single person and animal that comes in. Happiest of Days to you!

  78. Happy birthday from one Jenny to another! I hope you know just how special you are to us.

  79. Happy birthday wishes to the most generous unclean vampire I know! Well, not like directly know, but you know what I mean. We did meet once-my friend brought her taxidermied squirrel with us to a signing of yours! But I digress.

  80. Happy Birthday! It is also my birthday and I’m thrilled to now understand why I love vampire stuff so much. (In 2nd grade I told everyone I was a vampire and had an invisible bat friend. Precocious and morbid.)

  81. We vampires/hunters gotta stock together, get it, “stick together” bahahaaaa. Happy bday bloodsucker/coffin nailer, from me to you!

  82. Happy unclean Vampire Birthday! Hope your day is blessed with the smiles and laughter you have blessed me with.

  83. Happy Birthday dear friend. I think I would have been literally insane if not for your books and blog.

  84. Happy Birthday Jenny!!!
    From here in ‘Friendly Manitoba’ 🇨🇦
    (So friendly here that I will pay for shipping if u want to send a book here. 😉😁)

  85. Happy Birthday Jenny! So excited to read Broken in the spring, and hopefully visit the store when it’s safe to so.

  86. This explains a great deal– my daughter was born on January 3rd, and she’s currently in bed with the blinds drawn. Vampire, or gathering her energy to go slaying tonight?

  87. Happy Birthday Jenny! I’d love a copy! I keep giving mine away to family and friends, maybe I’d keep a signed one, lol.

  88. Happy Birthday! Have you watched “A Discovery of Witches”? Matthew Goode’s performance makes me all tingly!

  89. Happy vampire/vampire Hunter birthday! I would love to have an autographed hardcover copy of this book, but I will understand if you don’t choose me. Have a wonderful birthday!

  90. Happy Birthday! I’m not Slavic but my birthday is tomorrow so happy birthday to us vampire hunters or hunted!!

  91. Happy, happy birthday! You share a birthday with a friend of mine, who will be amazingly thrilled that she might be a vampire and/or a vampire hunter!

  92. Happy anniversary of your birth into the world! And thank you for making it better 🙂 I’m so glad you’re here! *arms outstretched in pandemic-safe hug posture* 🙂

  93. Yay! Happy Vampire Birthday! I love weird facts that make things make so much sense!

  94. Happy birthday! I fall into this category too (my birthday is December 30) but I had never heard that superstition. Very interesting.

  95. Happy vampire birthday! I have a lot of friends with Christmas Eve birthdays that never mentioned their true nature to me.

  96. Happiest of Birthdays to you! And thank you for the chance to win your book.

  97. Congratulations on another trip around the sun! May you continue to shine just as bright.

    I would love to have another copy, since I let my mother borrow my first signed copy and she “lost” it a few years ago.

  98. I would love a signed copy. I met you at a book event in Marland when the book came out and got it signed. I let my brother borrow it…and he dropped it in the sink (I don’t know how and details seemed to scary/weird). The book was basically destroyed and the inscription ran all over the page. Would LOVE another copy.

    Happy Birthday! Thank you for the smiles.

  99. It’s my son Archer’s birthday today also! You are vampire birthday buddies. Congrats!

  100. Shall we be the vampires or the hunters? Decisions Decisions. My bday was the 27th, so HBD to us!!

  101. That would be incredible! I’d love to share your brilliance with a friend as a gift. Have a fabulous birthday!

  102. Happy birthday, Jenny! My (50th—shhh, don’t tell) birthday is tomorrow, so I guess I’m unclean too? Although I just took a shower?

  103. Happy birthday to an amazing person who inspires my partner everyday to keep on going ❤️ You truly are amazing!

  104. Happy birthday to one of the few people who made me laugh during this terrible year!

  105. Happy Birthday, Jenny! Many happy returns! 🎉 LPTNH and FH made me feel like I’m not alone in my weirdness, thank you. 💜

  106. Happy birthday Jenny! You have given more to my life than I could have possibly imagined. BP is the best thing I’ve ever done, and I was inspired by you. I don’t have LPITNH because every time I get a copy, I end up gifting it. And somehow I don’t have an autographed book! (I do have a picture of you sending me a message, so if I don’t win, I’ve already won.) Happy birthday Jenny, I’m so glad you were born, if you weren’t I wouldn’t have so much love, laughter, and friendship. ❤️

  107. I love that you and my oldest son share a birthday!! Happy birthday, Jenny (and my Jason)! He totally needs to read your book. 🤣

  108. Howled with laughter reading this book! I would love a signed copy. Happiest of birthdays to you!

  109. Happy birthday, Jenny! We share the same birthday!! I had big belly laughs with tears streaming down my face reading LPTNH.

  110. Happy Birthday! Hoping your next book is a comedic, semi-autographical story about your adventures in vampire hunting.

  111. Do they make you ring a bell and bleat ‘Unclean! Unclean!’ as you wander? But don’t get lost, because we would be lost without you.

  112. Happy Birthday! While I own a copy of this, I would love one to give to my son. Years ago you were doing your signing and I couldn’t make it and he went in my place. My anti-social, dislikes people and crowds son did this for me. I can’t think of a better (abet late) thank you

  113. Happy Birthday! I know 2 people who apparently are vampires! This explains a lot. And it would be awesome to get a signed copy – you are very kind to do that for a random 10 of us.

  114. Happy Birthday! While I own a copy of this, I would love one to give to my son. Years ago you were doing your signing and I couldn’t make it and he went in my place. My anti-social, dislikes people and crowds son did this for me. I can’t think of a better (abet late) thank you

  115. Happy Birthday Jenny! This is one of my favorite books which I will sadly never see again. I purchased the hard cover edition and have read it twice, then lent it to my sister who is a hoarder….that was like 3 years ago. Now she claims I never even lent her the book.

  116. Happy unclean birthday, may this next year’s spin around the sun be blessed!

  117. Happy birthday Jenny!! Hardcovers ate like Vampire coffins for your pages to sleep in so this makes sense.

  118. Wow, I’ve never heard of this Vampire Birthday stuff, but today is also my daughter’s birthday and this explains a lot! Like a lot, possibly too much….hmm….Well anyway, Happy Birthday to you!

  119. Happy Birthday-keep slaying it! (see what I did there?!?!) Cheers to a bright year ahead!

  120. I have been looking for another copy of this! I lost mine in a move, and haven’t been able to find one to replace it, I didn’t know they weren’t in hard copy anymore, that explains why I’ve had no luck. Happy Birthday to you, mine is just a few days away!

  121. Oh Jenny, I would love a hard copy! I gave away my copy long ago and I’ve lost count of how many people I’ve gifted this book to since it first came out. My sister-in-law and stepdaughter were this year’s recipients! It’s time for me to reread it 🙂

    Happy birthday!!

  122. Happy birthday Jenny!!! Thank you so much for all of the laughter your blog has brought to my life since a friend recommended it. You have made some of my dark days more manageable which is Tyne best gift you could give me. I would love a copy of your book. I’m really struggling right now and could use a happy distraction.

  123. Congratulations on another successful revolution around the star central to our solar system!

  124. Happy Birthday Jenny!! I’m currently on quarantine recovering from Covid and would love something new to read!

  125. You never cease to remind me to smile.

    Thank your parents for bringing you into the world!

  126. This totally tracks. And it only makes me like you more. Happy Birthday, Vampire Slayer.

  127. 🎉🎁🎁🎉 happiest of birthdays, until next year where I will recycle this missive.

  128. Today is my birthday as well! Thanks for the fun facts. I always knew we were special!

  129. Happy Birthday! I guess your as close as we’ll come to a day walker! Enjoy it!

  130. My birthday is Christmas Day! And I’m more Irish than anything else, though a DNA test seems to think otherwise, including some Eastern European. So, Jenny, we can be co-Capricorn vampires! (or vampire hunters. either way is fine.) Happy Birthday to You!

  131. Happy Birthday Jenny. I hope I get one. I let my sister borrow my copy. She lent it to a friend who never returned it.

  132. This book(audio) just entertained my gf and I on 6 hour drive to see family for xmas…a godsend! Happy Birthday and please keep writing🙂

  133. My birthday was yesterday. Birthday’s between Christmas and New Years are tough. Happy Birthday to you!!

  134. I have been trying to get my sister to read my copy of your book forever. She suffers from undiagnosed depression and has, for years, been unable to get help for herself (she thinks she should be able to tough it out). Anyway, I am thinking if I tell her (or you tell her ;^) she just won an extremely rare hard copy of LJPTNH, it will her excited and she will read it.💗

  135. Happy birthday Jenny! I keep giving away copies of your book! Also, it’s one of my best sister,/friends birthday today as well, and she hasn’t read your book yet… SOOOOO, just saying! Love you, and the life you share with us!

  136. Happy Birthday, Jenny! I’ve never seen the photos in LPTNH, but I was introduced to the audiobook by the custodian at my library. It had me cracking up in the car. I am also a Smorange rhymes with Orange type person.

  137. Happy day o birth! I was born Jan 5, so good to know this kind of info, shanks! And shanks for the book giveaway opportunity!🤗🤞🏽

  138. Happy Birthday Jenny! I don’t know what would be more exciting, being a vampire or a vampire hunter!

  139. Happiest of birthdays to you! Thanks for the fun giveaway – crossing my fingers I’m one of the 10 – The birthday wish (present) I send to you is for a happy, healthy, as stress free as possible birthday AND 2021! 🙂 Thanks for helping us all get through this year.

  140. Happy birthday! 😊✨ I already have my own hardcover copy that I hunted down but I have a special person in mind to gift one if given the chance (hardcovers just feel a little more special). I hope you have a great day and thanks for sharing ✨
    – Berlin Perez

  141. Happy birthday. I feel like I should read this book just so I can understand my wife (likewise, she should watch a few hundred hours of mid-80’s Letterman to decide my own personal language)

  142. Happy Birthday!

    My eldest is another potential vampire/vampire hunter having been born on the 26th — most likely the hunter side as they LOVE garlic! I’ll have to let them know of their true calling.

  143. Happy Birthday, Jenny!
    I would love a copy of LJPTNH. I read it about a year after my husband died. It was the book that was able to get me reading again.

  144. Happy birthday! In so glad you were born and write this book. I’ve been listening to you read it to help take the edge of my anxiety. I’m doing all the other things I need to do for it, but some days it’s just worse. Thanks for being there!

  145. It is my wife’s birthday, also…for 67 years she has heard “this present is for both Christmas and Birthday. I do not make that mistake, as I value my safety and peace of mind. I hope you have had a Happy Birthday!

  146. It’s my birthday on Wednesday. I guess that makes me a vampire too! I’d love a signed copy.

  147. Happy Birthday, Jenny! You give us so many gifts! Your books not only are entertaining and laugh-out-loud funny (honestly, I LOL’d on a plane once reading one of your books, and I think I scared the poor guy sitting next to me, because it was a very loud snort-laugh), but they are such amazing resources. I read your books with both of my kids when they were mid-adolescence. My daughter had extreme social anxiety, and my son is on the autism spectrum and often struggles with connecting socially with peers. Your words were so healing and affirming for both of them. Thank you for all that you do and all that you are! You are a treasure and I look forward to every post from you. Wishing you all the best for your next journey around the sun!

  148. Happy birthday, Jenny! Wishing you all the comfort and fun and laughter and taxidermied animals that you so richly deserve!

  149. Happiest birthday to you!! Thank you for the laughs and the love. You have gotten me (and my students) through many challenges. Cannot thank you enough. May 2021 bring you quiet and peaceful comfort. But also the kind of laughter that makes you pee a little and your face hurt. It’s all about balance.

  150. Happy Vampire Birthday!! Here’s looking forward to a great year-or at least a better one than 2020, right?

  151. Happy happy birthday!!! I often recommend LPTNH to folks by telling them how I started reading it at a coffee shop and had to leave because I was snort-laughing so much it was disruptive. 🤣

  152. Happy Birthday from one December baby to another!! Here’s hoping your presents aren’t wrapped in Christmas paper 🥳

  153. Today is my aunt Cynthia’s birthday, too. She would have been 95. It’s been a sad year, Mum died in July (not Covid) and couldn’t travel to be with sisters for the holidays. So I could really use a laugh!

  154. Happy birthday Jenny!! Yesterday was my oldest daughter’s 11th birthday and I can’t wait to tell her that piece of trivia! She’s going to be stoked!! Lol.

  155. Happy Birthday to us! Today is also my birthday and I live near San Antonio and I also have RA and would love a hard copy!

  156. Happy vampire birthday! My husband is also undead! He sleeps during the day and he’s almost as pale as I am (I’m a ginger).

  157. It’s my birthday tomorrow, so I’m a vampire/vampire hunter. I love your books! Happy birthday!

  158. Happy Bday, Jenny, and I’d love a hard bound copy of LPTNH! And soon to be, Happy New Year!

  159. Happy Birthday! Thank you for who you are.
    I was just thinking that I need my own copy of this <3

  160. I wonder what vamps think of taxidermy? Like keeping old food wrappers around? Happy bday!

  161. Happy Birthday!! I cannot wait to see what wonderful piece of taxidermy Victor picked out for your birthday. lol

  162. You’re the best! Happy birthday! Should we call you Jenny Van helsing? Now I’m wondering if Dracula had a first name like Bob or Steve. Its something to ponder.

  163. Vampires suck and since you don’t you must be a hunter. Congrats on keeping the depression at bay for another year. We all Benifits from your victories.

  164. Happiest of birthdays, Vampire Hunter! I hope you have a day as wonderful as you are.

  165. Hey!!! My Birthday is Friday! Do I pick Vampire or Vampire Hunter? Will one be assigned to me? Oh well! But Yay!!! I’m part of the club! I’m born unclean!
    I did not think that through…


  166. Happy birthday! Thanks for helping us all get thru this thing, even if its just to remind us to be kind to ourselves 💖💖💖

  167. Happy birthday, Jenny!!! I love this idea. I wonder what other cultures have to say about my July birthday…

  168. Happy Birthday, Jenny! I’m half Slovak and suddenly so much about my quirkiness makes sense.

  169. Happiest of birthdays to you. My kiddo shares your birthday and it is a weird mix of rain and sunshine and wonderful and awful gifts.

  170. i love you Jenny. you always brighten my day! happy happy birthday 🎁🎂🎉🎊🎈!

  171. Hi Jenny! Happy Birthday!
    Would love lots a copy of funniest,quirkiest,laughmyassoff book!

    All possible limbs and appendages crossed!!! 🥰
    Ps. It’s my dad’s birthday as well but he’s not a cool vampire just a narcissistic Asshole!

  172. Happy Birthday! Thank you for sharing your wonderful, weird life with us. It helps me feel like I have “people”.

  173. It’s my best friend’s birthday today, too (and so maybe this makes you my best friend, too!!)
    Happy Birthday!

  174. What day is today? It’s Jenny’s birthday. What a day for a birthday. Let’s all have some cake! (Futurama!) I’d adore a copy. I lent my copy to a friend who needed a smile and then she gifted it to another friend when she was done. What a sweet offer!

  175. Happy Birthday Jenny! You share your birthday with my oldest son! Hope you have a great day!

  176. Happy Birthday! I thought of making one of those “welcome” porch signs everyone has but noting on the bottom “except vampires” because I wanted to make sure they knew they could not just come into my house and turn everyone into vampires, but decided that took too much explanation and ended up going with “ Oh hello there”…love your books!

  177. Happy Birthday!!! I would love a hardcover signed copy ❤️ Fingers super duper crossed! 🤞

  178. Happy birthday! My bday is Jan 1st, and your wonderful book would be an amazing gift for this tough year.

  179. Dear Vampiress, you’re on! I bought ths book when it first came out,but Ilent it to someone who lives far away several years ago and it is still far away… or at least it’s not here. It was totally worth it, though, because sharing your gospel is SO important!

  180. You share a birthday with my stepmom and my birthday was yesterday! Coincidence? Probably not…


  182. I love this book. I would love a copy to give to someone in particular. Thanks for this little contest. And Happy Birthday Jenny!

  183. Happy Birthday Jenny! LPTNH is one of the only books I’ve ever read more than once and it’s my go-to for gift giving as well!

  184. Happy Birthday! If I win, I can read the kid-appropriate parts to my kids as their Christmas gifts, sadly, the James Garfield ones never arrived. But, it’s the thought that counts! Happy Birthday ya vampire!

  185. Happy, happy birthday, Jenny. I would love to receive a copy of your book! Thank you for gifting on your own birthday!!

  186. Happy Birthday! Wish I was born with the predestined possibility of being a vampire or even a vampire hunter. Drats!

  187. The only time it sucks to be Australian!
    Happy Birthdayz Jenny – thanks for all the joy 🎂

  188. Wishing you the happiest of birthdays today! My late mother’s birthday was yesterday, this explains so much about her. I loaned this book to a friend and never saw it again, would love to have one to keep for myself!

  189. Happy Birthday Jenny! Thank you for being here and for making us laugh! The world would be a darker place without you in it! ❤

  190. Happy Birthday, Jenny! You’re the best unclean half vampire in the history of ever!

  191. Happy vampire birthday! I’m jealous! I was born in May. All Spring-y and boring. Have a great day!

  192. This book came up during my home health therapy company’s monthly meeting, and half of us have read it. Proof I’m with my people! I’d love to have another copy to share with the folks who haven’t read it yet…. help weed out the normal ones…

  193. Don’t need the book, but do need to say happy birthday – in fact, happy whole year til your next birthday!

  194. Happy Birthday, Jenny! I have your e-books, but not the real thing. Would love to have a REAL copy of your book.

  195. Happy Happy Birthday! Thank you for being you and helping me rekindle my live of books this year with your book club!

  196. My little sister Mia would love a copy!! She has furiously happy and loves your writing. Her birthday was the 27th (she just turned 12) so I guess she’s a vampire too!! (That actually explains a lot!)


  197. Happy Birthday Jenny! Mine was yesterday, so I guess I’m a vampire/vampire hunter, too. Maybe this explains why I’ve been obsessed with vampires ever since I can remember. I would love a signed copy of LPTNH, and if I’m a lucky winner, I promise to give it a good home, and to re-home my unsigned copy to someone who doesn’t own it yet.

  198. Happy birthday! I love your books because they make me laugh and also think, “wow, I’m not the only one” so thank you for being the person who gets it 🙂

  199. Happy Birthday! Never heard of that an unclean birthday? But being a vampire hunter is a cool talent….so way to go!

  200. Happy Birthday, Jenny! Thank you for all that you share into the world- it helps more than you could ever know.

  201. Happy birthday from snowy Nebraska!! Hope Victor and everyone else is spoiling you on your day!

  202. As a fellow “unclean” birthday haver (mine is the 25th), this makes a lot of sense.
    Happy bday from someone who also had a birthday this week 🙂

  203. Happy birthday! I can only imagine that if you were the vampire hunter, you’d just hunt them down to make friends with them!

  204. Happy Birthday!! Do you watch “What We Do In The Shadows?” Your vampire/vampire hunter comment made me think of it. It’s a really fun show.

  205. I was born in January. I always miss out on fun stuff like vampire hunting! Happy birthday to you and all the Slavic vampires and hunters out there.

  206. Happy birthday, Jenny! If I could give you a gift it would be a taxidermied chipmunk riding a motorcycle like that mouse in Mouse on a Motorcycle. It’s the thought that counts, right? I hope you get lots of vampiric treats today, thank you for being such a lovely person!

  207. Happy Birthday Jenny!
    Thank you for being you.
    Please donate a copy to your local library, so lots of people can enjoy it. This book helped me make it through my mother’s cancer treatment, without it I would have been really unable to cope, so thank you.
    I can’t wait until your new book comes out! I’ve preordered it.
    May your next year of life be happy, healthy and less stressful than this past year has been.

  208. Happy Vampire Birthday!!! I can’t wait to tell my sister in law and neuve how special they are!!!

  209. Thank you, Jenny! And Happy Birthday! 🎉🎈🎂 I hope that you have an AMAZING day and enjoy some vampire hunting!

  210. Jenny, only someone as awesome as you would give other people gifts for your birthday. You are too much!! Happy Birthday!!

  211. Happy Birthday Jenny! I have loaned my copy of LPTNH so many times that it’s pretty pitiful looking, but it’s still the funniest thing I have ever read.

  212. I would love to own a signed copy of your book. I haven’t read this one yet! Also, I’m part Slavic too! 🙂

  213. Wishing you a garlic free celebratory supper! And the best possible for your personal new year, yet who hunts herself <3

  214. The happiest of birthday wishes to you! Hope your birthday is the unofficial start of a much better year for us all!

  215. I’m on book 12 of “The Hollow’s” series by Kim Harrison which is all about vampires, witches and pixies! I tend to lean more toward the witches! Of course I was born on the winter solstice so that explains a lot. Happy birthday!!

  216. Happy Birthday!! All my important books I try to have preserved as hardback; have been looking for a hardcover of this one as well! <3

  217. Oh gosh, this would be amazing. I had a soft cover, but gave it to someone who needed to read it. Happy birthday!! Mine was the 20th. Us holiday kids know the present struggle.

  218. Happy Buffyday Jenny. I’m in the UK, but I wanted to give birthday wishes. Hope you have an enjoyable day with all the space, quiet, noise, people you need to make it good and special but not stressful.

  219. I would LOVE to have a free signed copy of this book. You did say signed also, with a funny comment, right? 😉

  220. You’ll probably never actually get to read this, but in case I’m wrong, you’re awesome. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate every tweet you post. Thanks for being you 💚💚💚

  221. Happy birthday, Buffy/Angel! Also, though I’m in Canada, could I have a chance to get a book and have it sent to a friend of mine in the US? She doesn’t have one yet ergo…

  222. happiest of birthdays, jenny! i would love to be considered for an autographed copy, i would treasure it!

  223. Happy birthday Jenny! I would be furiously happy to have one of those books…Girl I have pimped you out since back in the day )

  224. Happy birthday, Jenny! Listening to your books has brought me so much joy. Looking forward to your next one.

  225. I always figured I was super lucky since my bd is at the end of June which puts it at nearly the perfect mid-year point to the winter holiday season–I had a lot of friends with Dec birthdays and they always seemed to get lost in the holiday season. Being a vampire/vampire slayer might just make up for that!

  226. Happy Vampire Birthday! Since you have no reflection, trust me when I say you look amazing!

  227. Happy birthday!! You’re Slavic – are you by chance Rusyn? I am. In my misspent youth I was stronk like bool. Now I’m a little old lady who drinks too much vodka. 😀

  228. Happy Birthday! I hope it’s magical! I would love to be considered 💜😺

  229. Happy Birthday! You’re humor and truthfulness were a bright spot in 2020. Would love a copy!