Happy birthday to us!

in Random Crap

Once read that in some Slavic countries some people believed that those who were born on “the unclean days” – from Christmas Eve through Epiphany (January 6th) – were given special powers and may become vampires or vampire hunters. Seems like a weird sort thing but since I’m half Slavic and I was born today I think that makes me half vampire and half vampire hunter and that probably explains why I self-sabotage so much and also why garlic gives me a headache.

But since it’s my birthday that means presents! But I don’t need anything so instead I’m giving you a present because I just found a box of hard-cover copies of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened and they literally don’t even make them anymore. (The hard-cover version, I mean. You can still get the soft-cover.)

Want a signed copy? Just leave a comment and I’ll pick 10 of you at random for a vampire birthday surprise! (Just make sure you leave me an email address that you check.) Also, I only have pre-paid flat-rate US mailers so I can only send to America. Sorry, Canada et all. I still love you. You’re just really expensive. (Because you’re special.)

PS. If you already have a copy of LPTNH you can go over to the NowhereBookshop instagram where they’re giving away a gift card today for my birthday. YAY FOR ANY BOOK YOU WANT!

HAPPY UNCLEAN VAMPIRE BIRTHDAY TO US ALL, BITCHES!

1,120 thoughts on “Happy birthday to us!”

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  10. I’m game 🙂 I could give my sister this copy as she lost hers. Either way Happy Birfday!

  13. Happy Birthday!! I absolutely love your books and would love an autographed copy.

  14. Happy Birthday! My SIL was born Dec. 25th. This bit of knowledge is going to make him so happy!!

  15. Happy vampire birthday Jenny! I’d love a hard cover of your book! 🎉🎂

  16. Although I am in Canada, if picked I will suggest donating a copy to the Duluth Minnesota Public Library because I have a soft spot for that city.

    Happy Birthday.

    @WriterDann

  19. I read this book (and Furiously Happy) to my wife on vacation one summer. We laughed, we cried, she had to change her pants once or twice….

    You have become part of our love story.

    In a good way…

  20. I’ve already got a signed hardcover from you, but I wanted to wish you a very happy and unclean birthday! Go bathe in some garlic in the moonlight or something.

  23. Confess, would love a hardcopy of my favorite book.
    But most of all, I would love to wish you a happy, stake-through-your-heart-free day!
    Blessings for the year ahead.

  25. My birthday is the 22nd, so I like to think I can ride the coattails of this vampire/warrior princess club! Thank you for making Christmas adjacent birthdays a bit cooler. Here’s to no one getting you a Christmas-wrapped birthmas gift!

  29. I would love one a signed copy!

    Side note – how did you stumble onto a box of out of print books? Lol

  30. Happy Birthday, Jenny! You’ve made my quarantine so much better. I’ve got a hardcover copy of Furiously Happy, and I’d love to have a hardcover of Let’s Pretend, so I can pass my paperback along to someone else who needs it!

  34. I would love a copy and Happy Day (vampire or no)! You have helped me a lot, btw, in this totally wackado year – thru the pandemic but they personal hurdles, too. Thank you.

  35. Happy Birthday Jenny! You bring such joy to my life and I wish you the same. I’d love a signed copy of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened. It’s one of my favorite books and I’ve gifted it to many others, yet I don’t own a copy. A dear friend lent me her copy.

  38. A teacher over here who needs a good book to give her an excuse to not work so da*n much!!

  44. I would love a copy for my girlfriend. I’ve already loaned out 2 copies (never to be seen again).

  48. Happy birthday! At my last job we were called the vampires because we were the night shift crew. We all embraced it.

  50. Happy Birthday Jenny! It’s actually my birthday too (really it is- I guess we could be half vampires together?)

    I hope you have a good quarantine birthday.

  52. Happy birthday! Sending hugs and thoughts of cuddly little duckings. And also a dragon. 🎂🦆🐉

  55. Cool! Happy Birthday! I want special powers! And I want one of these books. I used to have an autographed copy but a friend borrowed it and claims to not know where it is. Argh.

    One of my dogs is Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The other is Genghis. 😉

    Thanks for the book club too! I’ve never read so much in one year before.

    xo
    Jennifer Bennett

  56. Happy Happy birthday Jenny, may this coming year bring much peace, happiness, joy, and vaccines!! May we all come wandering out from our bunkers and step an actual foot into Nowhere Bookstore!!

  57. Happy Happy birthday!! I love the Old Slavic language – “uterus” translates roughly to “old bucket” 😃

  60. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNY!!!! I have a birthday coming up as well and would love a book if possible. <3

  65. One of my oldest and dearest friends has a birthday today too! Funny enough, I was going to send her a copy of this exact book because it is the exact kind of thing we laugh about together, but I haven’t actually gotten around to getting it and sending it to her. Maybe that makes me a terrible friends, but a signed copy sent a little late might make me an awesome friend!

  68. Happy Birthday Jenny! I’m such a heathen I don’t even know why these days would be unclean. But anyway I love vampires so win!

  70. Happy, happy birthday! I hope you have a fabulous day. My birthday isn’t on an “unclean”day, but my daughter tells me I’m a vampire anyway. I can’t stand too much light in my house.

  72. Happy birthday Jenny!! This is one of my favorite books— “COME IN, CHUCK” always makes me laugh. I would LOVE a signed copy from such a fantastic vampire such as yourself!!! ♥️

  74. Happy birthday!! Your explanation for self-sabotaging because you’re a vampire/vampire hunter is spot on. That’s hilarious. I would love a copy of your book! I have Furiously Happy but haven’t had a chance to read LPTNH yet. I hope you have a fantabulous day!

  75. Happy half vampire-half hunter birthday Jenny! My daughter is a new years eve baby, so this will definitely make her happy, although I think she’d rather be a werewolf. Is there a loophole for that?

  76. Happy Natal Anniversary you wonder-full woman! The world is so much better because you are in it! <3

  78. Well never heard of that before about this time of year 🙂 Happy birthday to you 😀

  79. Happiest of birthdays to someone who made this year a lot more tolerable! Thank you for being you.

  80. Happy birthday! I didn’t know about these special powers, and since I was born on Dec 28th, I am super excited to hear that I have them too! Yay! I would love a hardcopy of the book, because I gave my original copy to a friend and that would mean she can keep it! LOL!

  87. Happy birthday Jenny! I’ve read the book and you’ve been amazing in the past so, as awesome as it would be to have one, if I’m chosen, please bless the next person. Stay amazing! ❤️

  91. Happy Birthday you fantastic beast! I just joined the book club, super excited!! Yesss, lots of exclamation points!!!!! 🙂

  92. I sent your audio book Furiously Happy to all my friends. They love it!!! Happy birthday 🎂

  95. Happy birthday to you! Thank you for sharing your wonderful stories and cool pictures with us.

  96. Have a fabulous birthday!! I’ll be 69 on January 4th, just recently retired, so maybe my next career is as a vampire hunter!!

  101. Happy birthday to you! I love that you have a good explanation for self-sabotage!!! My only excuse is that I’m a Libra 😀

  102. Happy birthday! I saw you at the bookstore in Atlanta when this first launched, but I couldn’t bring myself to stand in line to get it signed. It was a BIG crowd! I was a little disappointed, aside from the appalling story you read, you seemed so normal. 🙂

  103. Happy birthday. It’s my husband’s birthday too. He’s Chinese and introduced me to Chinese vampires. They hop. Like bunnies.

  106. Happy birthday you wonderful human! Being half vampi might explain the insomnia… Have a great day and may the rest of the year outshine the beginning.

  108. Got my brother a copy of furiously happy for Christmas but, man, would I love to add this book to it as well. His birthday is in January.

  110. 🥳🥳🥳🎁🎁🎁🎉🎉🎉🍾🍾🍾🥂🥂🥂🐈🐕🐈💕💕💕 Happy birthday! LPTNH is one of my most favorite books, and is quite honestly the funniest book I’ve read in my lifetime. Would love a hardback version 😍

  111. Happy Birthday, you Glorious Woman! I hope this next year Is filled with wonders that fill your heart with Furious Happiness!

  112. Happiest of birthdays to you! You are a bright shining star that brings happiness to us all!

  113. Holy cow I would love a signed copy! I had you surprise me with a signature on my copy of You Are Here and it was the best signature on anything ever!

    Also, happy birthday! Despite the year being a nightmare hellscape I hope you enjoy the day!

  116. Hoppy bird day two ewe! I’d also love a copy of your book, though I’m still planning to buy one if I don’t win.

  117. I was hoping you would have a Canada counterpart for stuff like this. That way Canadians who love you and your books could get in on it

  119. Happy birthday and happy blood sucking/vampire slaying! I’d love a copy of your book

  120. Happiest of Birthdays – there’s nothing like finding a mystery box of things you didn’t know you had! <3 Let's consider it a good omen for 2021 (because really, we need one and the reverse cannot be tolerated these days).

  126. Well, toast to you, my favorite author! (True Blood shot glasses all around)! Happy Birthday!

  130. Happy Birthday! I hope it’s a wonderful start to a much more wonderful year!

  132. Happy birthday! Does vampire (or vampire hunting) power make up for years of getting joint Christmas/birthday gifts?

  133. It’s my Birthday today too so Happy Vampire Birthday to both of us!! 🥳🥳

  136. Happy birthday! Thank you for continuing to bring light to this dumpster fire of a year!

  138. Happy Vampire Birthday! What do you eat to celebrate? Blood sausage cake? Gross! Don’t be disgusting Jenny.

  142. Happy Vampire Birthday!!! I’d kill for a signed copy of your book! Ok, not kill, but definitely flaunt it in front of my friends and brag about how cool I am!

  145. Happy Birthday! I would LOVE a copy. I lent mine out to a friend and they liked it so much I have never seen it again!

  147. Happy birthday Vampire-Hunter Jenny! I have a signed copy from your book tour to MN for Let’s Pretend (I gave you Mad Housewife wine, you gave me autographs) so no need to include me in your drawing, just hope you have a fabulous birthday.

  148. Happy birthday to someone who always makes me laugh. It seems fitting that you discovered you might be a vampire or vampire hunter in this, The Year of the Plagues.

  149. Happiest Birthday! Your books changed my life (and some clients who I passed them on to) and for that, I’m so grateful you were born 💜

  150. Happy birthday, Jenny! Thank you for bringing so much light to the world during some pretty dark times.

  151. Happy Birthday, Jenny! Wow, unclean, huh? Never heard of that. I just missed it having been born on January 11. I would love a signed hardback and would gladly pay for one. But in the off-chance you pick me, my e-dress is merecaver@yahoo.com

  155. Happy Birthday. Mine is the 27 or Third Day of Christmas. I knew it was Hell Week for birthdays but didn’t know about vampire thing. Maybe that explains the blackouts….

  156. Happy Birthday! I would love this book in hardcover. Waiting for the day I can visit the store!

  158. Happy Birthday! My birthday (and also my mom’s) is tomorrow. I’m not Slavic, but part Slovak. So I’m an unclean vampire with a forgotten birthday (bc no one remembers birthdays between two major holidays). Happy Birthday, fellow Capricorn!

  159. Happy Birthday Jenny! I already have a hard copy of LPTNH but I’d love a signed copy. Then I can share my old one!

  161. Happy Birthday Jenny! Thank you for making me smile every day. I’m glad you’re you !

  162. Happy birthday. Since you were born during this time, do we add you into the song of the 12 days of Christmas?

  164. Happy, Happy Birthday, Jenny! Enjoy your day and watch out for those pesky vampires. 🎁🎈🎂

  166. I am SO jealous right now. I wonder what the secret to triggering your vampire side is? It’s probably something icky and anxiety inducing isn’t it? I don’t see vampirism being triggered by something nice and calming.

    I hope you have the best possible day. Happy Birthday!

  168. Happy Birthday!! I’m part of the unclean birthdays, and I had no idea. This is amazing!! I’m Christmas Eve and we just spent my birthday under quarantine since my husband had COVID. So I’ll be celebrating once we are clear to escape our apartment! But yay for December kids!!

  171. My birthday is on January 2, and I am thrilled to join you in this group. Would also love the book, as this is my favorite.

  173. Happy birthday Jenny!🎂🎁 You’ve helped me so much during quarantine through your funny posts and thoughtful, brilliant books, so grateful for you! Thanks so much for being born today and being you!

    XO,
    Kim

  178. Happy Birthday, Jenny!
    I remember reading your book and finally feeling like someone gets me, out there with my battle against anxiety and depression. I would like one to lend out to my Mom, and Best friend that I share books between with, so maybe, they might understand my admittedly unique way of thinking!

    lindsaymroach@gmail.com

  181. Happy Birthday!! And thank you for loving weird taxidermy, my husband doesn’t get it, but I love it!

  182. I work in a library and recommend your books to every single person and animal that comes in. Happiest of Days to you!

  183. Happy birthday from one Jenny to another! I hope you know just how special you are to us.

  186. Happy birthday wishes to the most generous unclean vampire I know! Well, not like directly know, but you know what I mean. We did meet once-my friend brought her taxidermied squirrel with us to a signing of yours! But I digress.

  196. Happy Birthday! It is also my birthday and I’m thrilled to now understand why I love vampire stuff so much. (In 2nd grade I told everyone I was a vampire and had an invisible bat friend. Precocious and morbid.)

  197. We vampires/hunters gotta stock together, get it, “stick together” bahahaaaa. Happy bday bloodsucker/coffin nailer, from me to you!

  202. Happy unclean Vampire Birthday! Hope your day is blessed with the smiles and laughter you have blessed me with.

  205. Happy Birthday dear friend. I think I would have been literally insane if not for your books and blog.

  207. Happy Birthday Jenny!!!
    From here in ‘Friendly Manitoba’ 🇨🇦
    (So friendly here that I will pay for shipping if u want to send a book here. 😉😁)

  212. Happy Birthday Jenny! So excited to read Broken in the spring, and hopefully visit the store when it’s safe to so.

  213. This explains a great deal– my daughter was born on January 3rd, and she’s currently in bed with the blinds drawn. Vampire, or gathering her energy to go slaying tonight?

  219. Happy Birthday Jenny! I’d love a copy! I keep giving mine away to family and friends, maybe I’d keep a signed one, lol.

  222. Happy Birthday! Have you watched “A Discovery of Witches”? Matthew Goode’s performance makes me all tingly!

  223. Happy vampire/vampire Hunter birthday! I would love to have an autographed hardcover copy of this book, but I will understand if you don’t choose me. Have a wonderful birthday!

  226. Happy Birthday! I’m not Slavic but my birthday is tomorrow so happy birthday to us vampire hunters or hunted!!

  227. Happy, happy birthday! You share a birthday with a friend of mine, who will be amazingly thrilled that she might be a vampire and/or a vampire hunter!

  229. Happy anniversary of your birth into the world! And thank you for making it better 🙂 I’m so glad you’re here! *arms outstretched in pandemic-safe hug posture* 🙂

  231. Yay! Happy Vampire Birthday! I love weird facts that make things make so much sense!

  232. Happy birthday! I fall into this category too (my birthday is December 30) but I had never heard that superstition. Very interesting.

  233. Happy vampire birthday! I have a lot of friends with Christmas Eve birthdays that never mentioned their true nature to me.

  242. Happiest of Birthdays to you! And thank you for the chance to win your book.

  244. Congratulations on another trip around the sun! May you continue to shine just as bright.

    I would love to have another copy, since I let my mother borrow my first signed copy and she “lost” it a few years ago.

  247. I would love a signed copy. I met you at a book event in Marland when the book came out and got it signed. I let my brother borrow it…and he dropped it in the sink (I don’t know how and details seemed to scary/weird). The book was basically destroyed and the inscription ran all over the page. Would LOVE another copy.

    Happy Birthday! Thank you for the smiles.

  248. It’s my son Archer’s birthday today also! You are vampire birthday buddies. Congrats!

  250. Shall we be the vampires or the hunters? Decisions Decisions. My bday was the 27th, so HBD to us!!

  251. That would be incredible! I’d love to share your brilliance with a friend as a gift. Have a fabulous birthday!

  255. Happy birthday, Jenny! My (50th—shhh, don’t tell) birthday is tomorrow, so I guess I’m unclean too? Although I just took a shower?

  258. Happy birthday to an amazing person who inspires my partner everyday to keep on going ❤️ You truly are amazing!

  259. Happy birthday to one of the few people who made me laugh during this terrible year!

  260. Happy Birthday, Jenny! Many happy returns! 🎉 LPTNH and FH made me feel like I’m not alone in my weirdness, thank you. 💜

  264. Happy birthday Jenny! You have given more to my life than I could have possibly imagined. BP is the best thing I’ve ever done, and I was inspired by you. I don’t have LPITNH because every time I get a copy, I end up gifting it. And somehow I don’t have an autographed book! (I do have a picture of you sending me a message, so if I don’t win, I’ve already won.) Happy birthday Jenny, I’m so glad you were born, if you weren’t I wouldn’t have so much love, laughter, and friendship. ❤️

  265. I love that you and my oldest son share a birthday!! Happy birthday, Jenny (and my Jason)! He totally needs to read your book. 🤣

  266. Howled with laughter reading this book! I would love a signed copy. Happiest of birthdays to you!

  269. Happy birthday, Jenny! We share the same birthday!! I had big belly laughs with tears streaming down my face reading LPTNH.

  270. Happy Birthday! Hoping your next book is a comedic, semi-autographical story about your adventures in vampire hunting.

  272. Do they make you ring a bell and bleat ‘Unclean! Unclean!’ as you wander? But don’t get lost, because we would be lost without you.

  273. Happy Birthday! While I own a copy of this, I would love one to give to my son. Years ago you were doing your signing and I couldn’t make it and he went in my place. My anti-social, dislikes people and crowds son did this for me. I can’t think of a better (abet late) thank you

  277. Happy Birthday! I know 2 people who apparently are vampires! This explains a lot. And it would be awesome to get a signed copy – you are very kind to do that for a random 10 of us.

  280. Happy Birthday! While I own a copy of this, I would love one to give to my son. Years ago you were doing your signing and I couldn’t make it and he went in my place. My anti-social, dislikes people and crowds son did this for me. I can’t think of a better (abet late) thank you

  282. Happy Birthday Jenny! This is one of my favorite books which I will sadly never see again. I purchased the hard cover edition and have read it twice, then lent it to my sister who is a hoarder….that was like 3 years ago. Now she claims I never even lent her the book.

  283. Happy unclean birthday, may this next year’s spin around the sun be blessed!

  285. Happy birthday Jenny!! Hardcovers ate like Vampire coffins for your pages to sleep in so this makes sense.

  290. Wow, I’ve never heard of this Vampire Birthday stuff, but today is also my daughter’s birthday and this explains a lot! Like a lot, possibly too much….hmm….Well anyway, Happy Birthday to you!

  291. Happy Birthday-keep slaying it! (see what I did there?!?!) Cheers to a bright year ahead!

  294. I have been looking for another copy of this! I lost mine in a move, and haven’t been able to find one to replace it, I didn’t know they weren’t in hard copy anymore, that explains why I’ve had no luck. Happy Birthday to you, mine is just a few days away!

  296. Oh Jenny, I would love a hard copy! I gave away my copy long ago and I’ve lost count of how many people I’ve gifted this book to since it first came out. My sister-in-law and stepdaughter were this year’s recipients! It’s time for me to reread it 🙂

    Happy birthday!!

  299. Happy birthday Jenny!!! Thank you so much for all of the laughter your blog has brought to my life since a friend recommended it. You have made some of my dark days more manageable which is Tyne best gift you could give me. I would love a copy of your book. I’m really struggling right now and could use a happy distraction.

  303. Congratulations on another successful revolution around the star central to our solar system!

  309. Happy Birthday Jenny!! I’m currently on quarantine recovering from Covid and would love something new to read!

  310. You never cease to remind me to smile.

    Thank your parents for bringing you into the world!

  312. This totally tracks. And it only makes me like you more. Happy Birthday, Vampire Slayer.

  315. 🎉🎁🎁🎉 happiest of birthdays, until next year where I will recycle this missive.

  316. Today is my birthday as well! Thanks for the fun facts. I always knew we were special!

  318. Happy Birthday! I guess your as close as we’ll come to a day walker! Enjoy it!

  319. My birthday is Christmas Day! And I’m more Irish than anything else, though a DNA test seems to think otherwise, including some Eastern European. So, Jenny, we can be co-Capricorn vampires! (or vampire hunters. either way is fine.) Happy Birthday to You!

  322. Happy Birthday Jenny. I hope I get one. I let my sister borrow my copy. She lent it to a friend who never returned it.

  325. This book(audio) just entertained my gf and I on 6 hour drive to see family for xmas…a godsend! Happy Birthday and please keep writing🙂

  326. My birthday was yesterday. Birthday’s between Christmas and New Years are tough. Happy Birthday to you!!

  328. I have been trying to get my sister to read my copy of your book forever. She suffers from undiagnosed depression and has, for years, been unable to get help for herself (she thinks she should be able to tough it out). Anyway, I am thinking if I tell her (or you tell her ;^) she just won an extremely rare hard copy of LJPTNH, it will her excited and she will read it.💗

  330. Happy birthday Jenny! I keep giving away copies of your book! Also, it’s one of my best sister,/friends birthday today as well, and she hasn’t read your book yet… SOOOOO, just saying! Love you, and the life you share with us!

  331. Happy Birthday, Jenny! I’ve never seen the photos in LPTNH, but I was introduced to the audiobook by the custodian at my library. It had me cracking up in the car. I am also a Smorange rhymes with Orange type person.

  340. Happy day o birth! I was born Jan 5, so good to know this kind of info, shanks! And shanks for the book giveaway opportunity!🤗🤞🏽

  342. Happy Birthday Jenny! I don’t know what would be more exciting, being a vampire or a vampire hunter!

  343. Happiest of birthdays to you! Thanks for the fun giveaway – crossing my fingers I’m one of the 10 – The birthday wish (present) I send to you is for a happy, healthy, as stress free as possible birthday AND 2021! 🙂 Thanks for helping us all get through this year.

  345. Happy birthday! 😊✨ I already have my own hardcover copy that I hunted down but I have a special person in mind to gift one if given the chance (hardcovers just feel a little more special). I hope you have a great day and thanks for sharing ✨
    – Berlin Perez

  347. Happy birthday. I feel like I should read this book just so I can understand my wife (likewise, she should watch a few hundred hours of mid-80’s Letterman to decide my own personal language)

  349. Happy Birthday!

    My eldest is another potential vampire/vampire hunter having been born on the 26th — most likely the hunter side as they LOVE garlic! I’ll have to let them know of their true calling.

  351. Happy Birthday, Jenny!
    I would love a copy of LJPTNH. I read it about a year after my husband died. It was the book that was able to get me reading again.

  358. Happy birthday! In so glad you were born and write this book. I’ve been listening to you read it to help take the edge of my anxiety. I’m doing all the other things I need to do for it, but some days it’s just worse. Thanks for being there!

  363. It is my wife’s birthday, also…for 67 years she has heard “this present is for both Christmas and Birthday. I do not make that mistake, as I value my safety and peace of mind. I hope you have had a Happy Birthday!

  365. It’s my birthday on Wednesday. I guess that makes me a vampire too! I’d love a signed copy.

  366. Happy Birthday, Jenny! You give us so many gifts! Your books not only are entertaining and laugh-out-loud funny (honestly, I LOL’d on a plane once reading one of your books, and I think I scared the poor guy sitting next to me, because it was a very loud snort-laugh), but they are such amazing resources. I read your books with both of my kids when they were mid-adolescence. My daughter had extreme social anxiety, and my son is on the autism spectrum and often struggles with connecting socially with peers. Your words were so healing and affirming for both of them. Thank you for all that you do and all that you are! You are a treasure and I look forward to every post from you. Wishing you all the best for your next journey around the sun!

  368. Happy birthday, Jenny! Wishing you all the comfort and fun and laughter and taxidermied animals that you so richly deserve!

  369. Happiest birthday to you!! Thank you for the laughs and the love. You have gotten me (and my students) through many challenges. Cannot thank you enough. May 2021 bring you quiet and peaceful comfort. But also the kind of laughter that makes you pee a little and your face hurt. It’s all about balance.

  372. Happy Vampire Birthday!! Here’s looking forward to a great year-or at least a better one than 2020, right?

  373. Happy happy birthday!!! I often recommend LPTNH to folks by telling them how I started reading it at a coffee shop and had to leave because I was snort-laughing so much it was disruptive. 🤣

  375. Happy Birthday from one December baby to another!! Here’s hoping your presents aren’t wrapped in Christmas paper 🥳

  376. Today is my aunt Cynthia’s birthday, too. She would have been 95. It’s been a sad year, Mum died in July (not Covid) and couldn’t travel to be with sisters for the holidays. So I could really use a laugh!

  379. Happy birthday Jenny!! Yesterday was my oldest daughter’s 11th birthday and I can’t wait to tell her that piece of trivia! She’s going to be stoked!! Lol.

  380. Happy Birthday to us! Today is also my birthday and I live near San Antonio and I also have RA and would love a hard copy!

  383. Happy vampire birthday! My husband is also undead! He sleeps during the day and he’s almost as pale as I am (I’m a ginger).

  384. It’s my birthday tomorrow, so I’m a vampire/vampire hunter. I love your books! Happy birthday!

  385. Happy Bday, Jenny, and I’d love a hard bound copy of LPTNH! And soon to be, Happy New Year!

  386. Happy Birthday! Thank you for who you are.
    I was just thinking that I need my own copy of this <3

  387. I wonder what vamps think of taxidermy? Like keeping old food wrappers around? Happy bday!

  390. Happy Birthday!! I cannot wait to see what wonderful piece of taxidermy Victor picked out for your birthday. lol

  392. You’re the best! Happy birthday! Should we call you Jenny Van helsing? Now I’m wondering if Dracula had a first name like Bob or Steve. Its something to ponder.

  394. Vampires suck and since you don’t you must be a hunter. Congrats on keeping the depression at bay for another year. We all Benifits from your victories.

  395. Happiest of birthdays, Vampire Hunter! I hope you have a day as wonderful as you are.

  397. Hey!!! My Birthday is Friday! Do I pick Vampire or Vampire Hunter? Will one be assigned to me? Oh well! But Yay!!! I’m part of the club! I’m born unclean!
    Wait!
    I did not think that through…

    Elizabeth

  399. Happy birthday! Thanks for helping us all get thru this thing, even if its just to remind us to be kind to ourselves 💖💖💖

  401. Happy birthday, Jenny!!! I love this idea. I wonder what other cultures have to say about my July birthday…

  402. Happy Birthday, Jenny! I’m half Slovak and suddenly so much about my quirkiness makes sense.

  404. Happiest of birthdays to you. My kiddo shares your birthday and it is a weird mix of rain and sunshine and wonderful and awful gifts.

  405. i love you Jenny. you always brighten my day! happy happy birthday 🎁🎂🎉🎊🎈!

  409. Hi Jenny! Happy Birthday!
    Would love lots a copy of funniest,quirkiest,laughmyassoff book!

    All possible limbs and appendages crossed!!! 🥰
    Ps. It’s my dad’s birthday as well but he’s not a cool vampire just a narcissistic Asshole!

  410. Happy Birthday! Thank you for sharing your wonderful, weird life with us. It helps me feel like I have “people”.

  411. It’s my best friend’s birthday today, too (and so maybe this makes you my best friend, too!!)
    Happy Birthday!

  415. What day is today? It’s Jenny’s birthday. What a day for a birthday. Let’s all have some cake! (Futurama!) I’d adore a copy. I lent my copy to a friend who needed a smile and then she gifted it to another friend when she was done. What a sweet offer!

  416. Happy Birthday Jenny! You share your birthday with my oldest son! Hope you have a great day!

  417. Happy Birthday! I thought of making one of those “welcome” porch signs everyone has but noting on the bottom “except vampires” because I wanted to make sure they knew they could not just come into my house and turn everyone into vampires, but decided that took too much explanation and ended up going with “ Oh hello there”…love your books!

  420. Happy Birthday!!! I would love a hardcover signed copy ❤️ Fingers super duper crossed! 🤞

  422. Happy birthday! My bday is Jan 1st, and your wonderful book would be an amazing gift for this tough year.

  423. Dear Vampiress, you’re on! I bought ths book when it first came out,but Ilent it to someone who lives far away several years ago and it is still far away… or at least it’s not here. It was totally worth it, though, because sharing your gospel is SO important!

  425. You share a birthday with my stepmom and my birthday was yesterday! Coincidence? Probably not…

  427. HAPPY VAMPIRE BIRTHDAY TO YOU. HAPPY VAMPIRE BIRTHDAY TO YOU
    HAPPY VAAAMMMMPPPPIIIIRRRREEEE BIIIRRRRTTHHHDAY, HAPPY DAY TO YOOOUUU! AND THATS A WRAP!

  428. I love this book. I would love a copy to give to someone in particular. Thanks for this little contest. And Happy Birthday Jenny!

  429. Happy Birthday Jenny! LPTNH is one of the only books I’ve ever read more than once and it’s my go-to for gift giving as well!

  432. Happy Birthday! If I win, I can read the kid-appropriate parts to my kids as their Christmas gifts, sadly, the James Garfield ones never arrived. But, it’s the thought that counts! Happy Birthday ya vampire!

  433. Happy, happy birthday, Jenny. I would love to receive a copy of your book! Thank you for gifting on your own birthday!!

  434. Happy Birthday! Wish I was born with the predestined possibility of being a vampire or even a vampire hunter. Drats!

  437. The only time it sucks to be Australian!
    Happy Birthdayz Jenny – thanks for all the joy 🎂

  440. Wishing you the happiest of birthdays today! My late mother’s birthday was yesterday, this explains so much about her. I loaned this book to a friend and never saw it again, would love to have one to keep for myself!

  443. Happy Birthday Jenny! Thank you for being here and for making us laugh! The world would be a darker place without you in it! ❤

  445. Happy Birthday, Jenny! You’re the best unclean half vampire in the history of ever!

  447. Happy vampire birthday! I’m jealous! I was born in May. All Spring-y and boring. Have a great day!

  453. This book came up during my home health therapy company’s monthly meeting, and half of us have read it. Proof I’m with my people! I’d love to have another copy to share with the folks who haven’t read it yet…. help weed out the normal ones…

  454. Don’t need the book, but do need to say happy birthday – in fact, happy whole year til your next birthday!

  456. Happy Birthday, Jenny! I have your e-books, but not the real thing. Would love to have a REAL copy of your book.

  459. Happy Happy Birthday! Thank you for being you and helping me rekindle my live of books this year with your book club!

  463. My little sister Mia would love a copy!! She has furiously happy and loves your writing. Her birthday was the 27th (she just turned 12) so I guess she’s a vampire too!! (That actually explains a lot!)

    Cain.laura10@gmail

  467. Happy Birthday Jenny! Mine was yesterday, so I guess I’m a vampire/vampire hunter, too. Maybe this explains why I’ve been obsessed with vampires ever since I can remember. I would love a signed copy of LPTNH, and if I’m a lucky winner, I promise to give it a good home, and to re-home my unsigned copy to someone who doesn’t own it yet.

  470. Happy birthday! I love your books because they make me laugh and also think, “wow, I’m not the only one” so thank you for being the person who gets it 🙂

  472. Happy Birthday! Never heard of that an unclean birthday? But being a vampire hunter is a cool talent….so way to go!

  473. Happy Birthday, Jenny! Thank you for all that you share into the world- it helps more than you could ever know.

  477. Happy birthday from snowy Nebraska!! Hope Victor and everyone else is spoiling you on your day!

  478. As a fellow “unclean” birthday haver (mine is the 25th), this makes a lot of sense.
    Happy bday from someone who also had a birthday this week 🙂

  484. Happy birthday! I can only imagine that if you were the vampire hunter, you’d just hunt them down to make friends with them!

  487. Happy Birthday!! Do you watch “What We Do In The Shadows?” Your vampire/vampire hunter comment made me think of it. It’s a really fun show.

  488. I was born in January. I always miss out on fun stuff like vampire hunting! Happy birthday to you and all the Slavic vampires and hunters out there.

  491. Happy birthday, Jenny! If I could give you a gift it would be a taxidermied chipmunk riding a motorcycle like that mouse in Mouse on a Motorcycle. It’s the thought that counts, right? I hope you get lots of vampiric treats today, thank you for being such a lovely person!

  492. Happy Birthday Jenny!
    Thank you for being you.
    Please donate a copy to your local library, so lots of people can enjoy it. This book helped me make it through my mother’s cancer treatment, without it I would have been really unable to cope, so thank you.
    I can’t wait until your new book comes out! I’ve preordered it.
    May your next year of life be happy, healthy and less stressful than this past year has been.

  497. Happy Vampire Birthday!!! I can’t wait to tell my sister in law and neuve how special they are!!!

  501. Thank you, Jenny! And Happy Birthday! 🎉🎈🎂 I hope that you have an AMAZING day and enjoy some vampire hunting!

  502. Jenny, only someone as awesome as you would give other people gifts for your birthday. You are too much!! Happy Birthday!!

  507. Happy Birthday Jenny! I have loaned my copy of LPTNH so many times that it’s pretty pitiful looking, but it’s still the funniest thing I have ever read.
    Susan
    (Spvansloten@gmail.com)

  511. I would love to own a signed copy of your book. I haven’t read this one yet! Also, I’m part Slavic too! 🙂

  512. Wishing you a garlic free celebratory supper! And the best possible for your personal new year, yet who hunts herself <3

  521. The happiest of birthday wishes to you! Hope your birthday is the unofficial start of a much better year for us all!

  523. I’m on book 12 of “The Hollow’s” series by Kim Harrison which is all about vampires, witches and pixies! I tend to lean more toward the witches! Of course I was born on the winter solstice so that explains a lot. Happy birthday!!

  525. Happy Birthday!! All my important books I try to have preserved as hardback; have been looking for a hardcover of this one as well! <3

  526. Oh gosh, this would be amazing. I had a soft cover, but gave it to someone who needed to read it. Happy birthday!! Mine was the 20th. Us holiday kids know the present struggle.

  529. Happy Buffyday Jenny. I’m in the UK, but I wanted to give birthday wishes. Hope you have an enjoyable day with all the space, quiet, noise, people you need to make it good and special but not stressful.

  533. I would LOVE to have a free signed copy of this book. You did say signed also, with a funny comment, right? 😉

  534. You’ll probably never actually get to read this, but in case I’m wrong, you’re awesome. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate every tweet you post. Thanks for being you 💚💚💚

  535. Happy birthday, Buffy/Angel! Also, though I’m in Canada, could I have a chance to get a book and have it sent to a friend of mine in the US? She doesn’t have one yet ergo…

  537. happiest of birthdays, jenny! i would love to be considered for an autographed copy, i would treasure it!

  538. Happy birthday Jenny! I would be furiously happy to have one of those books…Girl I have pimped you out since back in the day )

  539. Happy birthday, Jenny! Listening to your books has brought me so much joy. Looking forward to your next one.

  546. I always figured I was super lucky since my bd is at the end of June which puts it at nearly the perfect mid-year point to the winter holiday season–I had a lot of friends with Dec birthdays and they always seemed to get lost in the holiday season. Being a vampire/vampire slayer might just make up for that!

  547. Happy Vampire Birthday! Since you have no reflection, trust me when I say you look amazing!

  549. Happy birthday!! You’re Slavic – are you by chance Rusyn? I am. In my misspent youth I was stronk like bool. Now I’m a little old lady who drinks too much vodka. 😀

  550. Happy Birthday! I hope it’s magical! I would love to be considered 💜😺

  551. Happy Birthday! You’re humor and truthfulness were a bright spot in 2020. Would love a copy!

  555. Happiest of Birthdays! Dammit, my birthday was December 14th, no fun vampire powers for me.

  561. Hiooray! Happy Happy Birthday to you. Sending warm thoughts and shy but supportive vibes from our home to yours. xoxo

  562. My beautiful son-in-law also has a birthday in the vampire zone! He would love your book!

  563. Happy, happy, joyful, amazing birthday to you and thank you for gifting your fans EVERY DAY with your honesty, wit and wisdom. I’m a big fan and cannot find my copy of “Let’s Pretend” (probably loaned to a friend who likes it so much she “forgot” to give it back), so please toss my name into the hat for the drawing. I’m so glad you were born and that you have generously shared yourself with the world.

  565. Happy Birthday, you wonderful, outside of the box thinker! You make our days so bright! Hope your day was everything a closet vampire could wish for (relatively speaking)…

  566. Happy Birthday! I hope you have a good day. And zi would love to win, I lost the copy I had of this during a move a few years ago.

  567. Happy birthday I hope it’s everything that it can be with the year being the way it is.

  568. This would have been my dad’s 80th birthday, and I’m really missing him. It makes me glad that I can say HAPPY BIRTHDAY today to another person I love. 🙂

  569. Oh, this book got me through so much! I brought my beat up paperback (it had been through the car, in the backpack, eaten with, and creased) to have you sign it. Happy birthday, from another December baby. Thanks for existing in this world and being real for the rest of us.

  571. Happy birthday! I was born on December 16th, so I guess I don’t get any vampire/vampire slayer abilities. Darn.

  573. Happy birthday, Jenny! Your writing makes me furiously happy…keep up the good work and enjoy your next trip around the sun!!!

  575. My birthday is January 8 so I would like to be a Slavic vampire/hunter by proximity if that’s allowed. Also happy birthday!!

  578. Happy birthday! Much health and happiness to you in the coming year (and always)!

  579. Happy Anniversary of the day you were born! Fun way to celebrate- thanks for including your faithful!

  582. Happy birthday, fellow 29ther! I hope you’re having a good one. I’m in the midst of the usual post holiday slump, so I’m eating my feelings with pizza and birthday pie.

    Also, when does the vampire qualities kick in? I’ve always been a night owl, I knew there was a reason!

  583. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! MY BIRTHDAY IS JANUARY 1ST!! I’M IN THE CLUB!! YAY TO US. WE’LL BE KILLING OURSELVES SOON!!

  584. You’re so wonderful! Happy birthday, Jenny. Here’s to a great birthday and a happy year🥂!

  586. Have the happiest of birthdays, Jenny! (And I’m not just saying that to enter the giveaway.) I have been reading your blogs since the Houston Chronicle, and I enjoy every post as much as I did all those years ago (more, actually)! You have been a total champion during quarantine, and I can’t wait for this to be over so I can drive down to SA and check out Nowhere! I’ll even be That Guy and wear my Nowhere Bookshop t-shirt, which I imagine is like wearing the band t-shirt to the concert. 😉 Anyway, this got off topic, but I hope you have a WONDERFUL day! <3

  587. Happiest of birthdays to you, thanks for keeping me sane(ish) especially the last year!

  590. Happy Birthday Jenny, queen of the half vampires and overlord of wonderfully relatable book writing! 🎉

  592. Hippy birdies two ewe! I blinking LOVED Let’s Pretend, and Furiously Happy is genius! I can’t wait for the new one!!!!

  594. Happy birthday Jenny and all the other folks whose birthdays are close to Christmas! We see you. 😉

  595. Happy birthday! Your books make me laugh out loud! Struggling from depression and anxiety myself, I appreciate the way you openly discuss your illness. Thanks! I would love a copy of your book!

  598. Happy Birthday! I can no longer hear or see the word vampire without thinking of the new What We Do In the Shadows….🤣 Bat!

  600. Happy Birthday Jenny! Wow that would be awesome to have a signed book from you. I listen to your books on Audible all the time. They are so comforting to listen to. I can’t wait to read/listen to your new book! 📚 😊

  602. Well, happy birthday, Jenny! I wondered why I couldn’t find a hardcover copy. Sad that they don’t make them anymore!

  604. Happy Birthday, Jenny! As a new San Antonio resident, Nowhere Bookshop has been one of my favorite local businesses during the pandemic–thank you for all you do.

  605. Happy birthday, Jenny.

    That’s all I wanted to say. I already have a hardcover copy, So if you pick my name, just give it to somebody else. 😺

  606. Dang it…by the time I see these things I’m a 10 minute scroll. Sigh…happy birthday Jenny. I give you away at Christmas every year, because you make me laugh, at you and myself. Thanks for that.

  608. Happy Birthday Jenny!! I remember the day I first found your book. I was on my lunch break and stopped in at a Hudson News store to buy some gum. I noticed your book on display and thought the cover was cute so I grabbed it and skimmed through the first couple of pages. I knew instantly I had to buy it and spent the rest of my lunch hour reading as much as i could. It was the best unexpected purchase I ever made!!

  611. Know I don’t stand a unclean chance in Hell at getting a copy, but wish you and all you love a great upcoming year and hope your birthday is full of odd happenings, lotsa love from your critters (alive and stuffed) and that ya know you are truly treasured by your many fans.

  613. I have been envious of your signed copies since you started showing your “surprise me” inscriptions on Twitter. Happy birthday, and if you pick me for a signed copy, surprise me. 😉

  615. I like that thought. It’s also my birthday, so I embrace the vampire hunter within.

  616. Happy Birthday! This explains so much about my mom, whose birthday is January 1st.

  617. Happy birthday!! It’s amazing what you learn that makes you feel like you have an explanation for stuff. Like I found out my mom only felt me move twice during her pregnancy due to a lot of fluid. Once when it snowed and once when the Nutcracker was on TV – I love being in the water, I adore snow, and the Nutcracker is one of my favorite classical compositions. Looks like these happened in utero.

  618. Happy birthday! I was born in April, and my parents weren’t very creative.

    Love,
    April

  619. Wishing you a birthday as fabulous as you are. Thanks for always bringing me to tears, in a good way. My sister and I like to read your posts out loud to each other and see who can get through without breaking up. When you told the story of finding Copernicus in the thrift store we both lost it. May you day be filled with lots of love and laughter. ❤️🎂

  620. Happy birthday to you! I am amazed at your vast amount of stored up knowledge!

  623. Happy day! when I was told I had colon cancer my first thought was “poop rope”. so thank you so much for that!

  624. OMG, I would LOVE one!! Thanks for the chance! Wishing you a marvelously fantastic birthday!!

  625. Happy Birthday Jenny. My birthday was on December 26th but I’m not aware of any special powers I may have.

  628. Happy unclean birthday Jenny!!! I hope you have an amazing day!! I’m so thankful you were born and became the Supreme Goddess of Strangelings ❤ you continue to inspire me and remind me that I’m ok even when I’m not ok. Thank you

  630. Happy Birthday, always enjoy the posts, a few have really helped a dear friend seek the resources and feel understood

  634. Happy Birthday Jenny! I’m also a Jennie that must be a vampire. My birthday is Jan. 5th! I’m turning 50 and it looks like the 2020 suck is heading into January. I think I need to make many, many lemon pigs.

    http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/lemon-pigs-new-year

    I live in Georgia so the 5th is also a big day to Vote! I’m hoping we will make everybody proud by voting Warnock/Ossoff for senate. I’ve already voted myself.

  638. Happy Birthday, Jenny. Thanks for sharing the information about vampires. Always like to add to my store of lore.

  639. Happy Birthday, Jenny. I would love a copy for my December 27th birthday twenty-one year old daughter who took a spontaneous road trip to Boston with me to hear you read a few years ago. She’s a great kid.

  640. Happy Birthday to the Finest Half-Vampire Half-Vampire Hunter on the planet! (You, Jenny, in case that’s unclear.)

  641. Ha! ha! ha!,evil vampire! May a stake never pierce your heart; especially as today is your birthday! I love you, Jenny

  645. Happy Birthday you wonderful vampire! Thank you for sharing yourself and making me feel ok about my brand of dysfunction. I hope you know what a treasure you really are!!!

  646. Happy birthday, Jenny!
    Today is my daughter’s birthday, too, and we’re partly Slavic, but I hadn’t heard about that belief. Fascinating. I’ll have to ask her whether she thinks she’s more of a Dracula or a Van Helsing.

  648. Happy Birthday! I’ve told so many people about your book. The last one who borrowed it never came back!

  655. Happy birthday! So glad you were born to create this weird and wonderful community. It makes me feel less alone and okay in all my weirdnesses. So thank you – and thanks to your parents since they…you know…😄

  657. Happy Birthday Jenny! I hope you have a fantastic day, and thank you for always making my day better.

  658. Happy Birthday Jenny! Since I already have a hard copy (though it’s not autographed, sadly), and I live in Canada I will gladly pass this opportunity on to someone else!

  659. Happy Birthday and thank you for explaining why my husband doesn’t like garlic (his birthday is 1/3)

  660. Happy Vampday! What kind of vampire would you be, though? The Anne Rice kind that eventually becomes so disassociated from the world you can literally turn into a statue until finally woken up by something interesting? Meyer’s sparkly kind that possibly unlocks some innate super power? The OG Stoker kind? I’d probably steer clear of the mythos where vampirism is a virus. Those never end well.

  663. Happy Birthday to yooouu!🎼🎂🎉🎈💐🧛‍♀️🧛‍♀️🧛‍♀️. I would love a signed book. I loan my copies of your books to family and friends and never get them back!

  664. Have a very happy birthday, Jenny!
    I was totally screwed me out of the opportunity to be a vampire or vampire hunter by being born two weeks too early. I do share my birthday with Ada Lovelace and Emily Dickinson, so I’ll take that, and ride on your coattails, you crazy vampiress.

  665. A vampire *and* vampire hunter…. I would expect nothing less from you Jenny! I didn’t know the hardcovers were out of print, I feel special that I have a signed one!

  667. Happy Birthday Jenny! As I was about to write this comment it said there were 666 previous posts. And I thought that was appropriate for me. I would love a signed copy.
    dmh989@gmail.com

  670. Wishing you a Fan tastic birthday filled with everything that makes your heart smile 🙂 ! As someone absolutely new to you and your blog I want to say thank you for always bringing me a smile if not a complete LOL ! Your writing and Spirit in these stressful times is very much appreciated. ❤

  674. Yes, please! I am always giving away my copies…my boss has my last copy. I try to spread the Jenny! (Creepy, but, well…)

  675. Happy birthday, Jenny! So I’m a bit concerned about this whole vampire/vampire hunter thing b/c my very proper paternal grandmother was born on Dec. 27 (1896). I can only picture her as the one wielding a silver cross. Perhaps because she’s Norwegian/German and not Slavic? At any rate, this is good information to have in case I’m ever in need of small talk at a cocktail party. In the year 2022, most likely. Hope you’ll get to celebrate in a way befitting a vampire/vampire hunter. (My birthday is on the Summer Solstice, so we’re polar [solar?] opposites. And, bergieks@sbcglobal.net, just in case.)

  677. Happy Happy Birthday! This book got me through my dad’s heart surgery. I was laughing hysterically in the hospital!

  682. Happy Birthday to us, indeed! I’m 32 today, though I had the Vampire themed 31 Sucks party last year… 😎

  684. Happy Birthday! I would love a copy to adorn my bookshelf with! Thank you so much ☺️

  685. Happy Birthday to my favorite vampire hunter! I’d love a copy to gift to my cousin!

  686. ERMAHGERD Happy Day of BIRTH! I am so glad you are here.
    All of my books are ebooks because I have a small house, but I would LOVE a hard copy because this book is so special to me.

  689. Lent my hardcover to my sister, who had the audacity to say she didn’t enjoy it…and she never returned my copy! We no longer speak! Happy Birthday! I recommend you to everyone.

  691. Happy birthday! I’d say 1/2 vampire, 1/2 vampire hunter is a perfect combination. And you could decide which side you want to work for. Be a vampire hunter with inside knowledge of avoiding the hunters, or a highly effective hunter based on insider vampire knowledge! Either way you choose, I hope it’s festive and fun! Someone borrowed my hard copy and never returned it so I’d love to replace it with a signed version.

  693. Happy Birthday, Jenny! Dr. Anthony Fauci’s birthday was 12/24, Jimmy Buffett’s was 12/25, and mine is 12/30. You are in great company.

  695. Happy Birthday! My younger son’s birthday is on the 28th so y’all can be/slay vamps together!

  698. Happy Birthday! Tomorrow is my dog’s birthday, so I guess she is part of the “unclean” crowd, too!

  703. Happy Birthday to a fellow undead! Or non deceased… or ex-living? It’s hard to remember the correct terminology at this age….

    Anyway.

    I would love a hard back copy of your book. Mainly because I referenced it *HEAVILY* in my last paper of grad school- which I finally graduated from this December. In a way, my masters degree is greatly indebted to you. So actually, you should be asking me for something, not the other way….

    Anyway.

    Happy HAPPY Birthday!

  705. Happy birthday! I’m sorry for all the times people combined birthday and Christmas and you got just one gift

  709. I feel you on the birthday debacle. Jan 2 for me. I get a round of happy birthday to you during half time…and of course the combo Christmas bday presents.
    Happy birthday to you Jenny!

  710. Happy birthday Jenny! I love how you find the fun and unusual in everything and even when you don’t feel as happy as you want, you still do your best to make others happy. ❤️

  718. Oh please! Happy Birthday and since you said happy birthday to me on twitter I feel super special and I may never wash my twitter again.

  719. Uh oh. That means I have two vampires in my house, plus my dad. Also, my theory is that people just started calling you guys vampires since it’s such a bitch to shop for you, so close to Christmas. Because who gives a gift to a vampire? Nobody, that’s who.

  724. Happy, Happy Birthday!

    Dang! I wish I was born just two weeks later – then I could’ve also been a vampire/vampire hunter!

    PS When I first read this book, I borrowed (stole) my sister’s copy and decided to take it overseas on an exchange trip. Once I arrived, I discovered the book had been filled with glitter! So, I got glitter all over my host family’s house and kept giggling into this strange book – I couldn’t even begin to explain what the book was about! All they saw was a Shakespearian mouse and glitter. I am sure they were thoroughly confused!

  729. Happy Birthday to you! My birthday is Jan 2nd so maybe I am a vampire too. But I’m not Slavic – just Dutch. I would love a signed hardcover. It is the only signed hard copy of a book of yours I don’t yet own (technically since I pre-ordered a signed copy of your new book the day it became available).

  730. Happy Birthday Jenny! I can’t wait to come visit your store- I only live 30 minutes away. Please have a wonderful day and stay safe! We all need you and love you!

    shuvani@gmail.com

  733. Happy birthday you half vampire half vamp hunter you! I know several jan and dec birthdays personally but none that make them one of the vampiric or hunterific crowd. I feel vaguely disappointed. But I’m also glad garlic doesn’t give me a headache because i cook with it a lot!

  734. Love the idea that as an “unclean” you will always be here and always rocking that vampire vibe!
    I missed the cut by 21 days — but maybe I can still claim it because I believe in celebrating my birthday from Dec 8 through Jan 8 (at least)!! This one was a big one (#65) and I couldn’t even celebrate with a party…or with friends….or with anyone but my dog daughter….at least I have her.
    Love you, Jenny — Happy Birthday — would love a copy of your book…it can be my belated birthday gift! xxKaren

  737. Happy Birthday from a sister unclean vampire/hunter, & thanks for that bit of trivia. I’ll turn 70 on
    New Year’s Day. What’s wrong with my train of thought?! I was thrilled at the idea of having vampire
    super powers, but, hey! Unclean? I wish you continued success with the bookstore & love & happiness
    in your life. Remember you have super powers when battling demons. They don’t stand a chance. ❤️

  738. Unclean Christmas Eve Baby here! Love ordering stuff from your shop and sending to people. Happy Happy birthday to you (us!!!)

  739. VAMPIRE BIRTHDAY! You’re lucky enough to share it with my bestest friend in the entire world!

  741. I’m gonna go ahead and wish you a very happy birthday even though there has got to be zero chance of me winning because look at how low I am on the response totem pole. But I still wanted you to know how much you’ve meant to me over the years. I think the first of your plot posts I ever read was about Beyoncé the giant metal chicken. My girlfriends and I will still text each other “Knock, knock, motherfuckers” and make jokes about “this chicken will totally cut you”. So, in our own weird little way (is there any other way?) we’ve been best friends with you for a long time. I mean, not like, FOREVER long. But long long. Decently long. Long enough, whatever. Happy birthday from your best friends in North Carolina that you’ve never set eyes on before!!!

  746. Damn it, I meant “blog posts”, not “plot posts”. Argh. Happy birthday anyway, from your typing illiterate bestie.

  747. Happy birthday. Thank you for making me laugh, making me feel seen and helping me see I’m never alone.

  748. 🦝🎉🧁🥳🎁🎈 Wishing you a an awesome Happy Birthday beautiful!🎁🥳🧁🎂🎊 Dance with the raccoon 🦝 for me!

  758. This. Is. Amazing. Happy birthday. Thank you for sharing with everyone! I hope you’ve had a great celebration.

  763. Happy Birthday, Jenny! I don’t think these days of the Christmas season are “unclean” but you could totally be a vampire hunter. Stuffed animals with personality = The Undead, IMHO.

  765. Happiest of Birthdays! If you are ever in a place where you get to make a snowman with fangs on your birthday, you can name it Frost Bitey 😉

  766. Read Furiously Happy on a flight and was laughing so hard I thought I would get kicked off. That or wet my pants.

  769. Happy Birthday Jenny, you lovely Vampire/Hunter. Our world is better for having you.

  771. Happy 47th trip around the sun Jenny!!! I’m right behind you! I’ll be 47 in March!

  773. Happy, happy birthday! I hope you had a relaxing and lovely day with Victor and Hailey.

  777. Happy Friggin’ Birthday Jenny! Love you and your writing! Would love to have a signed LPTNH, if you have one to spare. Thank you for being you! (You do it so well!)

  778. Happy birthday. Hope you get those opposing personalities straightened out soon. (Personally I would side with the vampire just because being a vampire hunter seems like a lot of work. Like manual labor kinda work.)

  779. Happy Birthday! I would love your book! I have bought and read them multiple times but keep giving them to random people because everyone needs to enjoy them.
    My husbands birthday is Dec 26 and he just retired. He’s looking for a hobby so Vampire Hunter it is.

  780. Happy Birthday, what a cool fun fact. I would love to be a Van Helsing type! It suits you

  781. My birthday was the 27th. My grandma called me to tell me my life was depressing and not worth living if I couldn’t make a relationship last or have children. Next time she calls me, I’ll tell her my vampire hunter job is too important to waste on such frivolous pursuits.

  785. Many happy returns of the day, Jenny (though, as an immortal vampire, perhaps that’s unnecessary)! I lift a glass to your continued good health and hope that, as a National Treasure, you get vaccinated very soon, but that your vial contains no garlic.

    And I’d love to have a hardback copy of your book. What a lucky find!

    Ruth
    wardemote (at sign) comcast.net

  791. Happiest of Birthdays! I’ve got everything else hardcover, including the entire Book Club, along with way too much NBS merch! I love you like family, may 2021 be the best year yet for you and all of us.

  794. Happy birthday! I will tell my mom she’s a vampire since she was born on Jan 6th. She’ll be delighted. I would love a book 😍

  797. Happy birthday! I’d wish you wonderful things for your next revolution around the sun, but I’m terrified of jinxing another 12 months. BTW, I am also one of those unclean, special powered vampire halflings (Dec26). I would absolutely love to win. I gave my copy to my 14 yr old son who says it is his favourite book, so I don’t think I will ever get it back.

  798. Happy birthday, Jenny! Please thank your mom and dad for me for bringing you into a world that so desperately needs you!

  800. Happy birthday, I would be so lucky to receive a copy of one of my favorite all time books

  804. Both of my daughters have Bipolar Disorder. Our lives have been challenging, to say the least. When I was given “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” by my older daughter, I was confused for a while. Then the lightbulb twinkled on and I “got it”. She was trying to explain what it feels like. From that day on, I understood so much better, and for that I am eternally grateful to you. This would be a wonderful way to return her courage, something that is still hard for her, and always will be. But at least now I have a greater understanding. We’re all in this together.

  807. The title of your book is the theme for this entire year. Happy Birthday, though.

  808. Happy birthday! I’m excited to tell my daughter (12/26) that she might be a vampire!

  810. HaPpY BirThDaY, Merry Belated Christmas, and Happy New Year. Born in middle of 2 holidays, yeesh. My mother states her childhood dislike of early January, and one gift covered both. Bet most kiddos felt that.
    Just had a newborn a few weeks ago, so I’ll keep that in mind, and ensure she gets extra presents on two separate dates.
    Look forward to reading your book, though only able to while breast-pumping. Humor is welcomed while taming a wild newborn.
    Courtney

  811. Hope it was a fabulous birthday! I’m late to the party! I’m looking forward to reading your new book! (which I’ll do even if I don’t win one!)

  815. Happy Birthday, Jenny! I hope you laugh in true hilarity today at least as hard as you’ve made me laugh countless times in my life while reading your writing or watching your videos. We all got a wonderful present the day you were born. Here’s to continued life-saving through irreverence and compassion and naming the pain in the very way it actually feels so that so many of us know we’re not alone. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

  816. This book not only changed my life, but my trans grandchild said that it was the first thing that made them laugh after all the bullying in school when they came out. You are changing lives, Jenny…never forget that.

  818. Happy Birthday! My son’s birthday is December 26, which is the worst! My rule is NO Christmas wrapping paper for birthday gifts and no combined birthday/Christmas gifts. I would love to have a copy. I haven’t read it in a long time and probably borrowed it from the library. ✌🏻

  819. Happy birthday! I’ve followed you since I stumbled upon Beyoncé about 9 years ago. I had picked up and moved to Florida knowing next to no one and had so much free time on my hands. Your posts *especially the ones with conversations with Victor* helped pass the time and fill the quiet until I made friends. I hope 2021 has amazing things for you and you get to spend more time Nowhere doing what you love.

  822. Happy birthday Jenny! Kate (818), That is an awesome rule! I get an all-in-one present (Christmas, birthday, Epiphany). As an adult I get that my birthday hits at a bad time, but as a kid it was awful.

  824. Since my B-Day was yesterday I already volunteered to be on your vampire/slayer crew. Like the new double agent aspect though. Either way my insomnia has a purpose. Happy Birthday!

  825. Happy Birthday! I don’t want to rain on your vampire parade (plus, with this many comments all you’ll be able to do is skim for book requests and so you’ll never read this), but I was intrigued/confused by the concept of unclean days, so I Googled and found this https://amoretmortem.wordpress.com/2015/01/06/serbian-christmas-eve-and-the-start-of-the-unclean-days/ and IF that is right, the unclean days go by the Serbian religious calendar which is still Julian, so the period starts January 7. If I understood, the idea is that from when Jesus was born till he was baptized, he was “unclean” in the same way all people are during that time, and since Epiphany celebrates not only the visit of the Magi but also his baptism by John (I never knew that second thing before), then those 12 days represent when he was unbaptized and thus God himself was unclean, hence the evil spirits having an edge. Or something. It’s a long article.

  826. First off, Happiest of Birthdays to you! Also, winning a copy of this book might just make a horrendous holiday season a little brighter so please enter me in.

  829. Jenny, you’re the best and I hope you’ve had the best of birthdays! Love you girl 💞 xx

  830. Happy Birthday! My wife and I laughed and cried through your audio books together. You are a treasure. Would love it if I got randomly picked to have a signed hardback to treasure.

  831. Happy Birthday! Maybe that’s why I left cookies today when I picked up my order…I’m psychic!

  837. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! from the guy who you helped send the dog birthday card a few months ago!!!! Hope you are having a wonderful day!!! – Ben

  840. Happy Birthday, Jenny Lawson, queen of weirdness and wonderfulness! I would SOOOO love a signed copy of your book! May the coming year be one of health, happiness and love in your house.

  841. Have a Fabulous birthday. That’s my favorite of your books – too bad my box of books was stolen in my last move – no copy of it any more – I’ll have to get a new one 😊

  843. Happy Birthday, fellow vampiruss!
    I must be really “unclean” since my bday is New Year’s Eve! 😝
    You always make me feel good/better and I wish you all the happiness in the New Year!

  844. I read this book at such a dark, terrible time in my life (insert cancer diagnosis, husband leaving me and our 3 children after 15 years for another woman, etc.). Just hours after doctors cut tumors out of my throat I was cry-laughing with tears streaming down my face. I couldn’t put it down. It helped me escape the sadness. I am currently going through treatment for breast cancer and on a particularly low day I needed a little laughter so I went to grab my copy to read again and it was gone. I had loaned it out and never gotten it back. I can’t believe I let my signed copy (“Aimee Cancer-Kick-Asser”) leave my hands, but I wanted to share the joy it brought me. I’m heartbroken. 💔
    albonacci13@gmail.com

  845. Happy Birthday, Jenny! (I already have the hardcover, so don’t choose me. Unless you want to.)

  847. Happy birthday!! Being half or full vampire would be problematic for me since I love garlic so I’m glad I was born in November. But I think you can totally rock it🧛🏻‍♀️

  848. The 29th is a great day – same as my Mason, and like you he has special powers. Wishing you a cutting cheesecake with dental floss kinda day! 💕

  850. Happy Birthday to you. My husband’s birthday is tomorrow and your comment explains a whole lot of things………..

  851. Love your books and coloring book is my favorite to color in. Happy birthday and many more and thanks for the laughs.

  853. Happy Birthday Jenny! It’s my birthday today too. Wearing my new Nowhere Bookshop sweatshirt- a birthday gift to myself!

  857. Happy birthday! I agree with everything that Sandy #741 and Anon # 819 said, except I live in CA. I would love to win, increasing my Jenny collection of audio books and coloring book. I was able to buy some gifts from your bookshop this year and joined libro.fm after it was mentioned in your newsletter that they support local booksellers. Hoping for a better year in 2021. garrenb@aol.com

  867. Today is my son’s birthday, too. It’s a good day for birthdays. Happy, happy birthday to you!

  870. Happy birthday Jenny. Hope you got cake and candles and lots of love from your pod people.

  872. Happy Birthday, Vampire Fighter! My brother is also both part-Slavic/Slovak & born during this unclean time, cannot wait to text him this gem! 😀 Would love a copy of the book if chosen! <3

  874. This made me cry. Christmas has hurt so much this year. I would love your book Jenny. Happy Happy Birthday!! May your day be filled with blessings!! (And vampires to be hunted)

  875. Happy birthday! You look fucking incredible for 60 years old 😉

    I have your books on audible and they have meant so much to me and I often replay them to help me fall asleep (I mean this as a compliment I swear). Anyway, I would love a hard cover copy. Thank you for all that you do!

    Carmichael.kait@gmail.com

  879. My birthday is Saturday, so happy unclean birthday to us both! I love that bit of information.

  880. Happy Birthday!
    You’e got me wondering about my own birthday now because it’s January 6. Is it unclean because its at the end of those days between Christmas and Epiphany, or clean because it IS Epiphany? And am I a vampire/vampire hunter, or just prey/collateral damage? Either way, that’s more interesting than it usually is, as it tends to fall into the “ugh, we just can’t celebrate anything else,” category.

    I would LOVE a hard cover edition of your book if you have any left. I’ve sent copies to lots of people, but I only have an electronic copy for myself. But its been read and listened to multiple times, so if someone needs one more than me, thats ok too. It’s julie42a@yahoo.com
    Happy Birthday again, hope you did something good for yourself. 💖

  885. I hope you have a fantabulous birthday. Garlic does that to more than just you. 🙂 You have been a beacon of hope for me. I suffer from extreme anxiety and depression as well as my two youngest children (30, 33) This year has been really hard on us. Keep that beautiful chin up, stick to your guns, and I look forward to hearing more from you this upcoming year. ((hugs from Oklahoma))

  887. Being a vampire would explain how you still look the same…. so happy vampire birthday( and thanks for adding another random fact into the card catalog of my mind)

  890. Happy Birthday!!! It’s mine as well! Never knew it was “unclean” or related to vampires!! Now I do! 😁

  896. I hope your birthday is as amazing as you (and that’s really, really freaking amazing!) 🍰🎂🍰🎂

  897. One time I stabbed my hand trying to take the seed out of an avocado and got trigger finger and had to wear a brace on my middle finger for 2 weeks. I also got a whip cream charger holder thing stuck on my thumb once (I was pretending I had robot fingers one day at work) Happy birthday!!

  899. You’re my hero! Happy birthday! I need some vampy times in my life. I feel as though there should be loads of fancy taxidermy involved.

  900. Unclean vampire birthdays are categorically the best of the birthdays! And yours should be the best of the best.

  901. Huh. Never knew that about unclean days but now I’m thinking my brother is a vampire. I love your blog, your FB and you IG and I’d love a signed copy of LPTNH! Happy Birthday Blogess!

  903. I have a birthday soon, but yours came first, so Happy Birthday to the best bloggess! But since I like presents (and people always try to get away with a birthday/Xmas gift), I’d truly love a birthday book.

  909. Happy birthday, Jenny! My bestie and I have shared the story with Beyoncé with nearly everyone we know and have to recount it every time we see a Beyoncé of any size and purchase one for each other. I recently read LPTDH and loved every second of it. I would love to have my own copy.
    I hope you and your Beyoncé have an amazing birthday and a happy new year!

  910. Happy Birthday, and thanks for the info. I have some Czech ancestry, and my birthday is tomorrow. I will have to be a vampire hunter, though, since the sight of the red stuff makes me faint. I would probably be more of a vampire irritator, correcting their grammar and refusing to invite them inside unless their capes were perfectly hemmed.

  915. Happy Birthday!

    I lent my copy to someone and it never came back so I would be absolutely delighted to receive a signed copy!

  919. I was so excited when I saw “Happy Birthday to us!” because a. I thought we shared a birthday and b. nobody has wished me happy birthday yet (to be fair, it is only 27 minutes into my birthday).
    But you’re the 29th! I’m the 30th. SO I will be excited that we’re birthday adjacent instead of birthday twinsies. It is also funny because my Favorite Cousin literally just sent me a copy of You Are Here (for my birthday) and I am looking at it, and it felt like some weird but happy birthday synchronicity.

    Happy birthday, Jenny <3 thank you for all the laughs and the literal life saving things you've written over all these years which have contributed to me making it to this birthday.

  924. Happy birthday. Jenny! I write this as um listening to Furiously Happy. I live in Denmark burr weeks love to send a copy of your book to my father-in- law (all the rest of my family has a copy). ladidido at gmail dot com

  927. December 29th is also my beloved granddaughter’s birthday! She just turned 16. When ‘Furiously Happy” came otu she read the whole thing, even taking it to school and keeping it semi-hidden just in case she got in trouble for reading it. I would love to give her her own copy of “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” in hardcover.

  928. Happy birthday! My boyfriend got me this book for Christmas one year. I read it out loud while we were in the car seeking adventures. He now suggests it to tons of our friends. 😅 my paper copy got loaned out to a family member and has yet to be returned… I’d love to replace it with a signed hard copy so I dont have to worry about asking for my paper copy back. 🙂

  937. Happy va,lire birthday, Jenny. Suck ALL the life out of it!!

  939. Happy belated birthday Jenny. My so was born on the 27th so I now understand why he stays up all night and sleeps all day. He is part Vampire!

  940. Well what a fun way to celebrate your birthday! I think that it’s cool if you’re a vampire, but it’s even cooler you’re Slavic. Happy birthday Jenny!

  947. Is it too late to enter? If not, then here I am. Happy Birthday!!!! If so, then just Happy Birthday. And happy new year, too. Here’s to an interesting 2021!

  948. Happy, happy birthday!!!
    I don’t need the book as I already own a paperback version (although I wouldn’t turn it down either Lol.). I just wanted to add my voice to the celebration that is you and your birth!

  949. Happy bloody 60th birthday!

    However I must disagree that you don’t need anything, as I am certain you need another vampire monster to keep the other company!:)

  950. I have never regretted being Canadian more than in this moment 😉 Just wanted to say Happy Birthday all the same. Thank you for sharing your humor, strength, foibles and light!

  952. Happy Birthday Jenny! I hope you have a magical day! I hope Victor and Haley celebrate you properly and you maximize the day. Venture out somewhere, masks on. Armed with hand sanitizer and the determination to discover something wildly awesome. Or just have a lot cake and eat a piece for me! Either way enjoy!

  954. Happy Vampirthday, Jenny! Thank you for brightening up my days with your posts and the books from Fantastic Sranglings💕💕💕

  956. Sing with me – “Hippo Birdie Two Ewe!” Would love this book. I’ll even make room on the book shelf for it.

  957. In my mind, our 11 year old is singing happy birthday to you, complete with the now standard cha cha cha’s. Sadly she’s not here because my husband is sick so she’s staying with her mom (can’t be too careful!)

    happy birthday!

  959. Happy birthday! 🧡🧛🏻‍♀️🎉
    I love Let’s Pretend This Never Happened! I have all your books, but would love a signed copy!

  968. BEST BOOK EVER! This book saved my relationship with my daughter. Really helped me understand her. Thank you and happiest of vampire/vampire hunter day!

  970. Happy birthday! Thanks for being you and sharing you. You’ve been a bright light in a dark year.

  973. Happy Birthday! You share my husbands Birthday, and he could be vampirish! As in he never ages, I hope that goes for you too! All the best in 2021.

  977. Happy Birthday, you insane genius! I’ve my fingers crossed (both hands), making typing on a wee phone keyboard extra difficult.

  978. Happy Birthday! You share a birthday with my partner, although she is a tad older than you. She has not shown any signs of being either a vampire or vampire hunter, but I think I will keep a closer eye on her.

  980. Wow. Folks really love a give away! I agree, the older I get, the more I prefer giving to receiving. Thanks for everything you do.

  982. Happy birthday Jenny! You would make an awesome vampire/vampire hunter! I smell a theme for a book possibly. You are my spirit human Jenny! Wishing you all the best and happiest feelings your way. Keep being you!

  985. Happy Birthday from India . You know it would be great if you visit India and then write a book about it .Trust me there are a lot of hilarious things here and with your dark sense of humor it would be a blast .

  987. LPTNH is my fav book to lend out to people who don’t yet know of the Broken Tribe’s existence but are so ready to join. What a wonderful tale (and some of it true!). Last time out it never came back and I can’t recall who borrowed it. They probably loaned it out to the next Tribal applicant, right? Wishing you peace and health on your birthday, Jenny. You’re such a delightful vampirical lantern in the dark.

  988. Happy Birthday to US! I knew your writing hit home with me but I did not realize that it went as far as sharing a birthday – almost to the year. I’m one year older.

  990. I listened to the audio book, and adored it! I would love to have a hardcover to put on my shelf with all my Gaiman and Dr.Seuss. 🙂

  992. I’m worried about that “stumble”… did you stub your toe or were you trying to avoid stepping on something “fuzzy”? Nevertheless, happy birthday!

  994. Happy Happy Birthday to a fellow Angelo State alum! I was there 92-96 so we may have run into each other. Btw, your “depression lies” quote has gotten me through some dark shit. Thank you.

  995. Happy birthday Jenny!! Thank you for always being real, always being kind, and always being YOU

  1001. People born in December are my favorite people, including my Dad, my daughter, and you!

  1004. Happy Birthday Jenny! I don’t know what I would do without you or this tribe of blogess pals. You have changed my life.

  1005. Happy birthday! Half-vamp and half-vamp hunter sounds like a super power. Not only do you get to be a vampire, but you also get to stake anyone who crosses you – literally.

  1008. Happy Birthday! I’m still trying to get signed copies of your books which were stolen out of a storage unit when I had to move back in with the parents and change careers due to lupus. Is there anywhere I could buy signed copies?

  1009. Hooray for unclean birthdays! I get lumped in with Christmas or forgotten because everybody is still recovering from holiday cheer on my birthday, the 27th. I hope your birthday was filled with laughter!

  1011. Hello! I’d love a book with a super weird inscription. Your quirkiness is a joy.

  1012. Have a beautiful, peaceful birthday, filled with happiness. Thank you for the joy and hope that you bring into this world.

  1014. a fellow fan and I did a dialoge reading of “George Washington’s Dildo” at Banned Books Week in Rock Island last year. It was the first two-person reading ever, and it brought down the house. Happy Birthday

  1017. This was the funniest book I’ve ever read. Since you share a birthday with my husband, I hope you will choose to send me a signed copy.

  1019. Seriously, like happy birthday to a woman who my life through your artistry and being would not necessarily be the same! I am grateful for you…Happy Birthday Lady 😃

  1020. Hi, just popping in because a signed copy of your book would be REALLY COOL, also I hope your birthday was a good one.

  1023. Happy Birthday, Jenny!
    I love that you literally have over a thousand comments and wishes. I am sad that you’ll literally never see this. Miss You, miss Texas, miss Mexican Food, miss the Lake, and miss wandering bookstores so much. Love ya, P.

  1027. Happy (late) birthday! My birthday also falls in that timeframe but I’m not slavic at all so maybe that makes me… like a werewolf or something? Anyway would love a signed book!

  1028. A good friend, now deceased, introduced me to you via Beyonce. I am forever grateful to her. And I’ll be grateful to you if I win the book!

  1031. Happy birthday!! This is my all time favorite book and I would absolutely love a signed copy, it would mean so much to me!

  1034. Happy Birthday! Hope you had a wonder filled day, too.

    kaboxjanitor (at) gmail.com

  1035. Happy Birthday, Jenny! This is THE BOOK that I recommend to anyone having a rough spell. It certainly helped me through a rough period a few years ago. Thank you so much for sharing your life’s stories💕

  1036. Happy Birthday Jenny! Love you, love your books, love your blogs, love your photos, love your book pics.. you are the best! 🎈

  1037. Happy Birthday Jenny ! If I win , it goes to my friend who is Slavic and celebrating on the 1st ! Maybe born-again vampire ? Btw “ What We Do in the Shadows” movie fun !!

  1039. Omg that vampire group that accepted brad can suck it! You should email them and tell they you’re half vampire Hunter and it’s hunting season 😂😂😂😂

  1040. In honor of your very unclean vampire birthday, I asked my Lithuanian husband for a slavic vampire name. I present to you the name čĭrnŭ bogŭ (translated as Czernobog in English). He says it means Black God, and although a man’s name is completely awesome.

  1043. I’m “unclean” too! (New Year’s Day…this is the first I’ve heard of that being a less-than-great date.

    I’d love a copy of LPTNH.

  1044. Happy Birthday, Jenny! My birthday is December 26 & so I guess I share this distinction with you! I would love to have a copy of your book. (I’ve heard wonderful things about you & your books!)

  1047. I hope you have the happiest birthday. I must admit and have a feeling you will understand… that the more I look forward to my birthday the worse the day is. Does that make sense? So pretty much my only goal for my birthday every year for the last several years is just To have my family let me sleep and not make me feel guilty for it. I work in a library and have recently read/listened to several emotionally challenging books with characters with sad stories. I asked my coworker for a suggestion of a book with a quirky character that I would want to be bffs with. (The last time I had that was years ago with the main character in the Me Before You trilogy.) Boy was she spot on with just what I needed when she suggested Furiously Happy. This is what I posted to my friends about the book…
    “Friends and family, especially those of you with depression or trying to understand someone with depression, my coworker suggested the book Furiously Happy. I am an hour into the audio book and have already snort laughed several times and feel more normal than I ever have!”
    This is my first time learning of you and I truly can’t thank you enough. I appreciate you. Happy Birthday and Happy New Year.

  1052. I hope you had an amazing birthday! My b-day is January 4th and I feel this 100% ❤ Would love to have a copy of this to further research my dark and mysterious side, lol.

  1056. I guess I’m a little late because your blog emails come to my work address and I was on vacation, so I only just got this now, but my birthday was yesterday, and most people call me a vampire anyway because of the hours I keep when left to my own devices, so I’ll just leave this here. 🙂 I dunno about unclean (I shower! Even during quarantine!), but that’s a funny bit of folklore. As ever, you make me smile. 🙂 My email is tdouglas@readerlink.com. Happy Belated Birthday, Jenny! Hope it was a great one!

  1058. Vampire surprises sound the best. Hope you had a great birthday. I just read this book in one day when I received it on Christmas and I laughed so hard I almost cried. Thank you for that!!

  1059. So, so late to this thread…but still want to wish you a very, very beautiful (belated) and happy birthday!

  1060. Happy Birthday Jenny !!
    What a great vampire birthday surprise!
    I always wanted a vampire to surprise me!
    🎂🥳🙀

  1064. Happy Birthday.
    Happy New Year.
    2020 was the ultimate douche canoe and sisyphean year. Thanks for giving us a giggle and the strength, hope, and courage to get through it.

  1065. I have a one-in-one-million autoimmune disease called Stiff Person Syndrome. It brought along 4 of its autoimmune friends. I would send the book to another friend with Stiff Person Syndrome, since, Jeebus in his underoos, she needs laughter and there will never be another Nancy W. Kappes, Paralegal. She is fighting for her parent’s house. Without it, she and the bird that swears, the dog who will only respond to her, and her aquarium have to split up. Oh. And she will be homeless.
    You’ve saved my life more than once, Jenny, and I truly wanted to give her some giggles.

  1067. Happy birthday! I stumbled across your writing via an online recommendation. You have become an inspiration for my wife who struggles with Fibro and all the crap that comes with it. We laugh with you because we’ve been there too.

  1073. Your book got me past a bout of pneumonia a few years back. Didn’t have enough strength to even pick up a glass of water, but boy could I sure crack up laughing. My husband would look around and ask, “What is so darned funny?” Laughter is the best medicine. You are a healer.

  1075. Happy Birthday Jenny! I just saw this today and laughed out loud. I spent New Year’s Eve with my dog binge watching vampire diaries and eating chocolate frosting out of the container. What a great way to kick 2020 to the curb. Thank you so much for all that you do in helping us keep whatever sanity we have!

  1076. Happy birthday. I would love a signed copy of any of your books they are all wonderful and great reads

  1077. Hi and Happy Birthday Jenny! I don’t think I’m doing this right… Trying to leave comment but can’t seem to even log -in, Anyway would LOVE a hard copy because I ordered you book for a friend an got the sofa copy and the photos were disappointing.

  1081. My birthday is the 30th 😊 This makes me happy that we’re practically birthday buddies. Happy belated birthday!

  1084. Happy belated birthday! I loved this book (and loved your reading of it more 😂) I read Furiously Happy first, and want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing it. I connected with it deeply.

    Hope you had a wonderful day!

  1087. Happy Birthday, Jenny. We share the same day Cappy. I believe I already left a comment that I would love a signed copy but just in case I’m sharing another comment. It’s hard getting old, I’m speaking for myself dear, I was born in 1964 and I’m experiencing some brain fog at the moment. I love your creativity, your energy and you always make me laugh, especially on my dark, dreary days. I appreciate you and all of your work. I can’t wait until I get your next book. My email is christinewedo@gmail.com.

  1088. Wishing you a wicked wonderful happy belated birthday – I fully believe that getting and giving gifts or wishes days after the actual holiday is even better because it makes that holiday last longer. So many many happy laughter-filled wishes!

  1090. Happy Belated B-Day! Your books are one of the great joys of my life! 🙂 I am currently reading an advance copy of Broken. ♥️ I bought the hardcover for my ex-wife and lost access to that in the divorce, so a brand new copy would be fantastic! 😃

  1091. My birthday is the 23rd… did it just miss the cutoff for vampirism?! But I still have to have my bday 2 days before Xmas without any special powers? That’s bullshit. Anyhoo happy bday!

  1092. Just learned I’m married to a half-vampire, half-vampire hunter! Happy belated birthday to you!

  1093. Happy (late) birthday!! Hope it was a great one!! Also, you’re not alone, garlic makes my head explode, but garlic knots are so damn worth it.

  1095. Even if you are an unclean vampire, I would totally invite you in, but not today, because COVID, my house is still a mess from Xmas (and let’s be honest, before Xmas), and I’m not wearing any pants. But in theory, I would totally let you in.

  1096. Happy Birthday! Wow, just missed becoming a vampire. My birthday is Jan. 7.

  1098. Whenever someone asks for memes or cartoons or pictures of pets to cheer them up… really anything that remotely indicates they need a laugh, I give them the link to Beyoncé the chicken. It never fails to make me belly laugh and feel better. Happy birthday! Mcdonrachel@aol.com

  1101. Is it still open? Sorry, I’ve been in a cheese induced fog and had no idea what day of the week it was! But a signed copy would certainly jerk me back to present (whether or not I want to be there!). Hope your unclean birthday was just marvelous.

  1104. I’m a vampire! So glad to learn this. Please consider me for a book. Happy 2021 regardless.

  1105. Happy happy birthday! and new year, even if it feels the same as the last (for now).

  1106. Here’s hoping this is your last plague birthday. Please count me in for a chance at “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened.”

  1107. Jenny, I wish I was you and also not because I don’t know that the world could handle two of you and it would be confusing for the people who already know me, for example my children, because woah Mom is now not Mom but a half-vampire vampire huntress best selling author extraordinaire.

    That was convoluted. Happy Birthday! I’d love love love one of the hardback copies of LPTNH♥️♥️♥️

  1108. Happy birthday to yoooouuuuu! Thank you for sending us the presents! Please include me in your giveaway for a signed (gasp!) copy of LPTNH. Btw, I got an ARC of Broken today. I’m PUMPED! Whoop whoop!

  1110. I have probably missed this, because my birthday is Dec 30, so I was clearly busy with year end vampire hunting duties. (Or year end vampire duties, I’ll never tell which) But maybe you were just as busy as I was and haven’t picked yet? It’s worth a shot. Also happy belated birthday, and may 2021 be as good to you as 2020 was craptastic to me.

  1111. Happy Birthday! Mine was January 1st! I just realized I gave a copy of your book to my daughter (which you signed!) but I never got one for myself, whomp whomp!

  1112. Happy Birthday Jenny!!! My brother-in-law was also born this day. I’ll tell him the good news!

  1113. I probably missed out, but figured I would comment anyway! Happy Birthday from one Christmastime baby to another.

  1114. Bit late to the party. Happy Birthday! Hope it was glorious and without the self-sabotage.

  1115. Hilarious…I’m Dec 30 and after I got done resenting my mom couldn’t keep her knees together foe just a few more hours so I could be a NYE baby, I now just relish having been born in the 60s by an inch…err maybe cm depending on whether we’re a Dr or not.
    Anyway. Totally on the vampire thing. NOW I get it 😂😂. It explains my love of such and my coordinating career choice of … attorney. Thank you Jenny for sharing the info 🙃❤️

  1119. Love this book! Also that yo might be a vampire/vampire hunter. Definitely not sparkly, RIGHT?

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