I was just listening to the I Saw What You Did podcast (love them) and they were talking about how much they hate the tight tuck at the bottom of hotel beds and then Victor was like, “EXACTLY” because he also hates when I tuck in the top sheet under the mattress and I always assumed it was just Victor being weird but now I’m wondering if I’m the only person who needs the top sheet very tightly tucked in like a straight jacket for my feet in order to go to sleep? In fact, in a perfect world someone would staple the sheets around my whole body after I get into bed, like I’m sleeping in shirt pocket of the Jolly Green Giant, because then I don’t have to worry about floating into the ceiling fan at midnight or being pawed by the thing that lives under my bed and as I’m writing this I’m starting to realize that, you know what, maybe I’m the one with the problem.
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