WHAT IS THE MYSTERIOUS GIANT CIRCULAR POOP IN MY YARD?

How has your day been, Jenny?

Weird, internet. It’s been weird.

I have been spending the day doing science because of a mysterious object I found in my yard and I need help.

Ready?

Here’s how it started this morning:

The internet was properly fascinated and demanded that I open it up to see if it was poop or an owl pellet.

I asked Victor to come film me cutting up a mysterious poop I found in the yard and he just stared at me because I guess he was on a conference call. Then I texted Hailey to come help but they were using their spring break to sleep and I guess they hate natural curiosity.

So instead I strapped my phone to my boobs because I care.

The internet had many suggestions (see comments on instagram because they are brilliant). My sister theorized it was bigfoot poop and that the reason we never find their scat is because it rolls away with the wind. I used google images to do a reverse search and google told me it was a mushroom called “DEAD MAN’S FOOT” or “DOG TURD FUNGUS” and that seems like a maybe but turns out that mushroom is squishy, so that wasn’t it and then google was like, “WELL IF IT ISN’T A DOG TURD IT’S PROBABLY AN UNCUT DIAMOND” and that’s when I realized google was just as clueless as I was.

But I wasn’t going to stop because this was more intriguing than all the Kate Middleton rabbit holes I’ve fallen into so I decided to keep trying:

That one was a little embarrassing, but much like Marie Curie, I was not going to quit. And things worked out for her, I think?

I was then spotted by another neighbor. This one seemed more concerned and asked if I was okay.

Later, Hailey was like, “Why wouldn’t you just say ‘I’m fine’ instead of ‘I FOUND A POOP'”? And I understand that that might seem more normal on the outside but this woman just stopped her car to watch me beat a poop with a shovel while I had a camera strapped to my chest so I’m pretty sure, “I’m fine. Nothing to see here” would be way more suspicious.

And then I came inside and was like, “Where is our axe?” and Victor was like, “WHERE IS OUR WHAT?” and turns out that’s what was needed to get him involved:

And that’s where we are. I still don’t know what it is. Is it a petrified mushroom? A seed pod? A weird looking ball made of wood? An alien? A dragon egg? Do I need to set it on fire? All theories welcome.

94 thoughts on “WHAT IS THE MYSTERIOUS GIANT CIRCULAR POOP IN MY YARD?

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Well, it’s not a wombat poop, because those are cube shaped. That’s all I’ve got! LOL

  2. My scientist son (and interpreter offspring) both think it is a desiccated peanut butter bird seed ball (that got blown off a tree maybe?)

  3. What a mystery!! I wonder if it is a fungus that grew in/on a tree to form the ball and then the ball fell off the tree and rolled away. I’d look for other trees with balls attached to them.

  4. Ok that’s too large for a rabbit poop, Gary, and those aren’t usually solo. Unless y’all got some six foot rabbits in Texas, IDK.

    It probably is the inside of like a tennis ball or something. I will say I enjoyed this adventure tho.

  5. Now you’ve cut it open and made it mad. If your plants start saying, “Feed me, Seymour!” I’d say it’s time to move.

  6. If a baseball lost its skin and was then eaten (and passed) by the dog from the Sandlot—this is what would be left behind.

  7. Or it could be a tree “tumor” caused by Agrobacterium tumefaciens.

  8. Oh! I know! I’ve seen this before. It’s a deteriorated croquet ball. New croquet balls were made with wood particulates and glue.

  9. We have weird shit (!) in Palm Springs but hell if I know what that is. I want to find a diamond in my own turds. At least something better than corn kernels.

  10. At the full risk of repeating my Insta comment – now that is open, DOES IT SMELL like poop? What, if anything, does it smell like? I need to knoooooowwwww!!!!!

  11. Victor!! Scaring you so many times! You should have rubbed it on his arm in revenge.
    I don’t think there are any balls made with wood and granola inside of it.
    Uhmmm…. Maybe email photos of it to some Scientists?

    What does it smell like?

  12. Definitely alien seed pod. Steven King warned us be we don’t ever listen! But more seriously I think it looks like the inside of an old softball/baseball that a dog got hold of.

  13. Hubby asked if you ever saw Invasion of the Body Snatchers. But seriously, he thinks it is the inside of a rotted baseball.

  14. Also, why would someone leave the inside of a ball in your yard?

    Is it some kind of secret message?

    Lisa

  15. Dunno what that thing is but I think I’ve located the source of your anxiety. coughcoughVICTORcough!

  16. Definitely a baseball. But wow, was this SO much fun! Thank you. 😂

  17. Thanks for making me laugh when I BADLY needed a laugh, Jenny. I went to get an IUD placed today and the doctor was like, “Nope. Can’t do it. Not now. Probably not ever.” and I was all “But WHHHHHHHHHHHHHY?”. Because instead of having a nice, gentle, spoon like curve like a normal uterus, MINE is shaped like an upside down bendy straw that goes straight back and straight up, like it’s giving me the giant finger. This probably explains (according to the doctor) why I had such trouble 20+ years ago getting pregnant with my son and why I miscarried baby #2…the darn fetus just FELL out of me, apparently. D:

  18. it’s a ferrero rocher. a really big, really fucked up, really really inedible ferrferrero rocher. 🙂

  19. Looks like a Gall, a round growth that falls off of tree branches. Look up in the area where you found it and see if there are more of these on your trees.

  20. Totally looks like a seed bomb. You make them with seeds and compostable material and then toss them out of the window as you’re driving to plant wildflowers.

  21. I agree it’s likely the cork center to some sort of ball, possibly after the outside was chewed off by a dog. The other thing it makes me think of are the guerilla seed bombs that were all over the net years ago. It seems too hard for that, but maybe if it was dried out enough. In that case I suspect it would fall apart if you soaked it in water for a while.

  22. I thought it was one of my grandma’s whiskey balls she made at Christmas. We’d chunk them out the car window on our way home. But the blue bits ruled that out.

  23. Looks like poop. Smells like poop. Tastes like poop. Good thing we didn’t step in it.

  24. It definitely looks like the inside of a softball/baseball. Or a tree tumor. Or a petrified seed ball.
    As long as no creatures come out of it, it’s probably one of those above.
    It would definitely driven me crazy trying to figure it out.

  25. That, my friend, is an old moldy baseball. I could see a seam when you were rolling it along.

  26. To quote Thomas Dolby, “SHE BLINDED ME WITH SCIEEENNCCEE!!!” Thank you for blinding us with science, Jenny. When you roped Victor in (who sounds a bit like a young Tom Hanks) it took your scientific methodology to an 11. I’m convinced you two need your own podcast together or show.

  27. Hello. I believe it could be a round compost clump, made by a composting tumbler like this one from Miracle Grow: Miracle-Gro Small Composter – Compact Single Chamber Outdoor Garden Compost Bin Heavy Duty – UV Protected Turning Barrel Tumbling Composter (18.5 gallons) https://a.co/d/1w9qigL
    I own one of these compost tumblers, and it is constantly making huge, hard, round compost turds like yours, rather than loose, loamy soily compost. It explains the composition throughout the center of the ball, including the little blue things (likely blue ink on paper products added to the composter). Hope this helps!

  28. Wildflower seed ball to toss out of your car window so wildflower will grow.

  29. is it a tree knot/burl? or a gall? I didn’t see any nearby tree and I don’t think one of those would be so difficult to cut. interesting for sure. love the videos.

  30. Wait until you find xylaria fungus which includes Dead Man’s (not Women’s) Fungus.

  31. I was thinking very old black walnut from digestive system of a local monster. Or a BIG ELECTRIC CAT.
    Try plugging it in.
    I still love you.
    I always will.

  32. I am 95% sure it is an abandoned roll of dung. From a dung beetle. If the poop dries out before they can get it back to their nest they abandon it and start anew.

  33. I still think this is an offering from the fairies. Idk if it is a good thing or a bad thing but you did redecorate their house without permission

  34. I think you can scratch tennis ball off your list of suspects because those are rubber and hollow inside. Baseballs are stuffed with all kinds of stuff to keep them that hard for a bat to hit them.

  35. My husband’s guess is an osage orange hedge-apple. I looked it up and that fruit does turn brown with age. I’m thinking some kind of ball that someone burned the outer skin/shell off of. I really hope you find out!

  36. From the title I thought I was going to see the poop version of crop circles. Instead … just science (easier to deal with as a homeowner though).

  37. Aaw, some small creature took ages to roll all that sh!t into a ball and you come along and saw it in half (tbf it was Victor so you’re in the clear as far as fairy curses go)

    You made my day though, thank you.

  38. Yep, it’s the inside of a baseball, and it’s been out in the weather for a while.

    This was all highly entertaining though, thank you!

  39. The teeny tiny “I want a divorce” sent me….

    And I was yelling at Victor for holding onto that thing while trying to saw through it. Ya’ll, that’s how we end up in the ER. And you know you’re just going to be featured in a future Buzzfeed listicle about bizarre ER stories. “How did you cut yourself?”
    “I was trying to saw through a giant mystery poop sphere”

  40. I once ran over a softball with my lawnmower, and this looks a lot like the inside of that ball.

  41. OHMIGOD. I had to stop watching Victor sawing it with a Sawzall IN HIS HAND.
    All I could imagine was “In the next episode of Real Life Emergencies from the ER…”
    I was so stressed out.😰

  42. I think it’s a Groot egg (from Guardians of the galaxy). Plant it & love it & maybe you’ll get your own dancing, talking Groot!

  43. I am now wearing my coffee. Snorted it all over myself laughing. Startled the cats. Always a great way to start their morning. LOL

  44. Rabbit poop, Gary? Really? Pretty sure those are small pellets. I’m glad you got an answer to your mystery!

  45. I’m sorry to interrupt this little science experiment BUT I feel like there is a much more critical question at hand here …. WHAT EXACTLY DOES VICTOR HAVE ON HIS FEET? are those cowboy boots? Or crocs? Or socks? Or. A combination thereof? I am going to have nightmares … (sorry Victor, no judgement. You do you)

  46. Maybe it’s a dung beetle! They roll poop into round balls and feed on it.

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