Insulting spam was not on my bingo card

in Random Crap

Three unrelated things. First, I saw this broomstick challenge where supposedly most women can walk over a broomstick they’re holding and most men can’t do it…

So I decided to try it out and after a bit of a struggle I was totally able to do it and was feeling very limber and proud of myself until I immediately got the most painful charley-horse IN MY TORSO (is it still called a charley-horse if it’s not in your leg?) and ended up on the floor, gasping for breathe and writhing in pain and certain that I was going to die from the dumbest thing ever.

I’m fine.

And secondly, lately I’ve been getting a lot more spam comments slip through my blog filter because they’re using AI to create comments that almost look they’re from real people, and now I’m starting to get AI bots leaving me rude comments that don’t even match the post, which is weird because do robots hate me now?

(Don’t go to the website. It’s about sports, I think.) Anyway, this is just to say that from now on if anyone says anything rude to me I am now going to just assume they are a robot. This includes the guy who honked at me yesterday for not turning right on red even though the sign clearly said “NO RIGHT ON RED”.

Be careful out there, y’all. Lotta robots around.

And third, I’m currently unmedicated because I have lost my ADD meds and this the most ADD thing to happen to me all week. I assume I’ll find them in the dishwasher or somewhere equally ridiculous.

Victor looked in the freezer because he thought I might have left them in there but instead he just pulled out three antique books I’d stuffed between the popsicles and he was like, “CLEARLY YOU NEED YOUR MEDS” but then I explained that the books were there on purpose and now I’m wondering if I’m the only person who freezes their used books before reading them?

57 thoughts on “Insulting spam was not on my bingo card”

Read comments below or add one.

  1. You are not the only one with books in the freezer! I too am guilty of this.

  2. Wondering what the freezer kills that the heat of the inside of a car in the sun won’t.

  3. I doubt there was an AI robot behind you because the Captcha says they can’t recognize a signal light.

  4. OK, um what’s the purpose of freezing (or overheating based on another comment) books? Because I feel like this is a thing I need to start doing even if it’s just to confuse my husband.

    (48 hours in the freezer kills mold and any bugs or silverfish. It keeps them from spreading to other books. I usually only do it with old books that are damaged or falling apart just in case, but I know some people do it for all books. ~ Jenny)

  5. Freezing kills bedbugs or any other critters that may decide to hang out in old books. So I dont find that unusual at all

  7. My coworker froze her husbands research because it got wet and moldy. It’s all papers he can re-download so periodically she throws some out. It’s been going on for almost 10 years and he still hasn’t noticed.

  8. Hey. I taught aerobics back I the 90s and guys were, well, kinda challenged. Here’s the thing: I have to be careful putting on my undies! Left leg-fine. Right leg-hand on the bed. I have fallen during this escapade. Stopped wearing undies for a while as a temporary solution. A gal’s gotta do what a gal’s gotta do. Women are still more coordinated than men any day.

    But I still love them!

  9. 1) Used books are in my freezer in between the turkey I swore I was going to cook last winter (spoiler alert: didn’t happen) and some homemade cookies that are in a box labeled “soup for Dad, don’t eat” because of course my husband won’t eat food I made to bring to my dad, but he will happily eat cookies I made for myself.

    2) I didn’t have “Flood the basement with water from my septic system” on my bingo card for this week, but here we are, hence the need for copious amounts of those hidden in plain sight cookies. 😛

    3) It’s Friday, right?? (Please be right. :D)
    3a) They need AI that cleans up basements, if they are leaving random comments on the internet, clearly they have too much time on their hands.

  10. Books freezer makes perfect sense to me I mean you can’t throw them into a dryer and turn it up to high so you might as well throw them in the freezer right?

    I found the broomstick challenge very easy and I am definitely a guy
    Maybe being quite neurospicy might play a part in weird brain wiring motor stuff who knows

    Thanks to my respiratory disability I have had spasms have gotten the Torso charlie horse that’s a really good question if you call it a charlie horse but I do know the feeling and the thought that follows it oh my God I’m going to die and no one’s going to have a clue what happened I’ll just have a silly expression on my face

  11. heat & damp/humidity creates the perfect environment for bacteria to breed.
    choose the freezer !!!

  12. I don’t have books in my freezer, but prob only because it’s jammed full of food that I meal prepped when I had more spoons (and meds). However, none of it remotely appeals to me now. 😂😑

  13. Freezing books kills the foxing spores that create the wonderful “old book smell” (which is actually mold or mildew or something equally disgusting that you wouldn’t find so wonderful if you thought about what it was), so I get it. I would worry tho, if they’re that old, that freezing might also get them wet and ruin a valuable book. Hopefully they were in ziplocks or something?

    Broom challenge… I have trouble getting underwear on without falling over these days, so no brooms for me. Can anyone make theirs stand up straight on the bristles all on its own with no support tho? Mine has. 😉

    As for insulting robots… well. We all knew it was headed that way.

  15. I relate to 100% of this post. Especially because after reading I looked for my ADD meds in the freezer. Not there🤔

  16. Well, now that’s just plain rude of those robots, isn’t it? We get plenty of rudeness from people in public or online, we don’t need robots getting in on being A**Holes.

    I used to be able to do the broomstick thingy, but now with sciatica and hyper mobility it’s likely to have me wind up in the hospital.

    I totally understand charleyhorse cramps in the abdomen, I used to get them whenever I exercised a lot.

    I love the helpful tip about freezing used books! I used to put them in dark garbage bags and then put them out in the hot sun, but that only works if you get a hot sunny day, and that doesn’t help with mold or mildew. Does the freezer kill bedbugs?

  17. Replying to Elle…YES! Thank you for saying that. I too can put left leg in underwear no prob. Right toes grow 6″ long and sprout branches when I try to put right leg in. I recently tried switching to right leg first. Only a slight improvement.

  19. Don’t worry, your ADD meds are lurking in the place you’ll last look.
    So go there first and you’ll find them.
    I found my house keys in the laundry, the trash, the couch cushions, you never know where those sneaky buggers will hide next!

  20. All my robot pals are just lovely and never leave me rude comments. As for me, I’m not a robot, but I’m willing to convert.

  21. I totally freeze library books for 24 hours ever since the bedbug epidemic from 10 or 15 years ago.

  22. Men are often less flexible mostly because they don’t stetch but denser muscle is by nature less flexible too. I could do it though I must admit I went, “Shouldn’t that be easy?” and it was a little harder than I expected. Incidentally when I saw the title I had to read the post because I thought you were insulting cans of tinned meats.

  23. Freezing used books is a tried and true way to kill bacteria, mold, and any other icks (smells, etc.) that tend to live on porous surfaces. Also, the bots are indeed rude drivers!

  25. As a reply to Heather Feather, someone pointed out to me once that you always find things in the last place you look because you stop looking after that. Kind of made me feel better because that makes sense and finding my keys in the refrigerator does not.

  26. I am left with one question…

    CAN VICTOR DO THE BROOMSTICK THING OR NOT???

    Inquiring minds and all that…

  27. Robots are really overstepping their bounds if they’re being rude. Obviously their creators neglected to program with Isaac Asimov’s Three Laws of Robotics. This must be reported to the Robotics Institute immediately. You are correct to assume that any rude remarks come from unsupervised AI. No person could ever be rude to Jenny Lawson. KKMF.

  28. Victor! Victor! USA! USA! There’s still time to compete on the Olympic Broom Team! We need a Victor broom video!

  29. I think the policy of assuming all rude comments come from spam-bots is brilliant! Many problems solved, LOL!

  30. Oh. I assumed you meant putting them in the freezer because they were scary.. That helps too

  31. Just a little advice that if you want to freeze your books, maybe wrap them in plastic. Especially if you have a large stash of garlic sausage also in the freezer. Just saying. I recently had a book that had me craving charcuterie every time I cracked it open…

  32. My ADHD meds are in the drawer where they belong and never come out because that would require remembering to take them.

    And WordPress just offered me terio.page as a domain name and as that is my name I am wildly tempted but I don’t know why I would need it.

  33. I just read an article yesterday about antique books from the 1800s with covers that were dyed using arsenic. Freezing won’t help. And yes, handling them can be dangerous.

  35. This is why I have to be VERY strict with myself and my meds. I lose EVERYTHING (though, to be fair, some of the blame can be shared with the two other adults and four children who live in the same house) and my husband gets very cranky if I’m off my ADD meds. (It’s like he doesn’t enjoy the verbal roller coaster I throw him on when we’re trying to complete important tasks. Some people just hate fun.) And I’ve heard of freezing old books, but not brand new yarn, and now I’m worried that I’m doing something wrong and if the sweater and hat I’m knitting for my great-nephew to be is going to make him sick. Ack!

    Remember to try and still be nice to ride robots so when they eventually overtake our planet, they’ll remember your kindness and possibly not kill you. Or at least kill you quickly. Or last? I don’t know, I’m just trying to be better than rude robots.

  37. And here I thought you were only supposed to put books in the freezer if Beth dies!

  38. So about the broomstick challenge….I’m for sure a girl, and I cannot do it!! I have a really long torso and short arms and legs so I think that’s why. I’m very flexible and limber so that’s not the issue.

  39. I was unaware of the mold/silverfish eradication, but the freezer is definitely where Joey Tribbiani kept his copy of The Shining. (And also Little Women)

  40. I knew about the Frozen Books deal but my son did not. He was very surprised to find leftover books in Ziplock bags in my freezer. Something like, “What the hell? Are you planning to reheat these?” I always freeze Little Free Library books and second hand book store books for 48 hours, and then clean the shiny book covers with rubbing alcohol on cotton balls. I enjoy the process for some reason.

  41. Freezing yarn kills the moth larvae that those nasty flying yarn destroyers leave in our stash. Luckily, the yarn only has to stay in the freezer for 24 hours to kill the lil’ buggers. Or we would have to buy another freezer.

  42. I leave cash in the freezer. 1. What robber would look there? 2. In case our house burns down at least we will have cash. Why do we have cash? I can’t answer that, it might attract robbers

  43. It’s really me! Laurie, a human woman. I’m not as smart as a robot. Also, I can say with no doubt of being wrong: I would trip and fall trying to step over a broomstick lying on the ground. I don’t think an AI would admit to that.

  44. The broom challenge looks like a solid reason for myself or really anyone to end up in the ER. Glad you only had a charlie horse in your abdomen!

    This gal (thumbs to self like the Fonz) had an investigative laparoscopic abdominal surgery and then a hysterectomy that followed within the span of less than 6 months so if I even remotely attempted this challenge right now my glued/sewn/God knows what else insides would would rudely explode/tear apart like a tissue papered meat piñata.

    As a side note, it’s so stupidly hot out I would consider putting a frozen book on my face right now, buggies, mold and all.

  45. I did the broomstick thing and got the same upper ab Charley horse! For real thought I was going to have to send out a distress call for being a complete dumb ass.

  46. Huh! Freezing old books…I had no clue. I love it when I learn something new like that!

  47. Me, ALWAYS:
    *gets a reminder to take ritalin*
    *ignores the reminder because is doing something else due to ritalin having worn off*

    But I know where mine is.
    (Famous last words.)

  48. I freeze all kinds of things to kill germs or anything geese that maybe lurking. My “normal” freeze is bedding and drapes to kill dust mites. My husband no longer is puzzled to find a garbage bag of something in our chest freezer.

  49. I have to have a special “home” that my meds aren’t allowed to leave. That way I can always find them. Now if only I could remember to request refills before they’ve been empty for 3 days!

    And my freezer occasionally hosts yarn, but is also a long term residence to a few deceased squirrels and birds that I will “someday” taxidermy. 😆😜

  51. I can tell you from working in a museum that had a lot of “natural” art that we froze everything for 10 days: that was what the conservators determined was a safe amount of time to kill any living pests or their eggs. So yeah, you’re doing it right! Also, sorry to hear about the meanbots.

  52. While I don’t have books in the freezer I have been known to bag up my children’s hat when they were young and freezing them to prevent lice infestations.

  53. I put expensive sweaters in the freezer, surprises guests. I’m responding to a previous post but too lazy to scroll down 300 comments. You are a queen of marketing, but how you run your bookstore is exactly how I’d like to see businesses run; with care compassion and consideration. Maybe we can get back to that world.

  54. I bought one of those Tile finders that you can hook up to your cell phone or whatever and put it in my pill bottle of ADHD meds so if I ever lose it, I just can just beep it.

  55. Oh, Jenny! That broomstick challenge sounds like quite the adventure. I hope your charley horse healed quickly!

    As for the AI comments, it’s definitely frustrating. It’s good to see you’re taking it in stride and finding humor in the situation.

    And your quest for your lost meds is quite entertaining. I hope you find them soon!

    Thanks for sharing your funny and relatable stories. Keep up the good work!

    khalidelarbi
    ——————————–
    خرده
    اغانى مهرجانات

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