Last night I dreamt that I came up with a single sentence so brilliantly true and simultaneously profoundly false that it would explode the universe and when I woke up at midnight I groggily jotted it down so that I could later decide if it was too dangerous to share with the world and this morning I woke up to a note that said:
SPARKLING WATER IS STILL WATER.
And…wtf me? Because of course sparkling water is water. It’s literally in the name.
But then I realized that “still water” is also another way of saying “non-carbonated water” and so technically sparkling water is still water and is also the opposite of still water and maybe that’s what half-asleep Jenny was trying to say? Anyway, all of that to say that if you’ve ever come up with something brilliant in your sleep and then forgot it upon waking and hated yourself for not writing it down you can read this and stop beating yourself up about it because…Jesus. This was not it.
Funny on so many levels….
When faced with brilliant thoughts in your sleep, if you write them down, your brain awake might not recognize how brilliant they were.
I can never get awake enough to write them down, so they stay brilliant to me, until I promptly forget them when fully awake.
I saw a meme on tumblr, 70% of the earth is covered by water, it’s not carbonated water so the earth is flat (water)
Feels like I need a monkey butler who taps a gong when I say something profound like that.
In Italy I had to remember to say I wanted my water without gas at the trattoria.
I’m rambling inane thoughts today. Currently watching the hurricane happen around me but I’m just getting wind and a little rain.
I don’t know who I am anymore
Mind blown, Jenny! There’s a word for when things mean two things at the same time. Elder brain can’t remember it, but you hit a home run with this version of it!
The one and only time I woke up in the middle of the night with a thought so profound I had to write it down, I got up the next morning to discover it was “I have 3 brain cells left, and they can’t remember each other’s names”
Hot is cool. Cool is hot.
I’ve done the same thing. My “brilliant “ midnight thoughts are usually totally insane ramblings.
I know that feeling although I rarely make the effort to write the profundity down.
I have had to learn not to grab the pen – my beautiful mind takes that to mean “oh, yippee, you’re awake. Lets play”
Jeanie in Paradise.
I once dreamed I was listening to a brand new Journey song (this was early 90s) and when sort of woke up, I was just sure that it would be a hit. (I was a big fan back then)
Y’all, an older Journey song from an older album is not a brand new song that will be a hit.
🙄🤦🏼♀️
Sleeping me is an idiot.
Lisa
I think what your brain was trying to say (metaphorically) is that no matter how sparkly you make (water) it’s still just (water).
This just cracked up up in such a delightful way. Thank you so much 😻🌞
I had a dream that I schooled an artist on the brilliance of Frida Kahlo. Every word was a perfect, glistening jewel. I amazed myself. My husband left the bed because I was “making hog noises”.
Put this on MERCH and take my money now!!!!
I had a dream about the perfect box for things like aluminum foil or waxed paper that cut without a blade. Woke up and no memory of the harmless box, but a friend who worked in packaging asked me to call him first if I ever remembered!
My dreams are sometimes screen plays. I had written a movie from a dream which was very much like that Beatles movie “Yesterday” but with Nirvana.
I once had a dream that I was giving a speech *somewhere* comparing childbirth to skydiving, and I woke up during the thunderous applause. I tried to write it down, but it didn’t sound very applausable to me. 🤪
I dunno but it could be the meaning of life.
It IS brilliant and actually profound. I think you’ve got something here.
That’s as bad as the joke my brain came up with as I was coming out of anesthesia: A guy asks a farmer, “What happened to that peacock you had?” The farmer says, “He wasn’t a peacock, he died (dyed).” (He didn’t have the peacock because it had died, he never had a peacock, it just dyed itself to look like a peacock. That’s my brain on drugs.)
I remember coming across a post from someone for whom English was not their first language and it’s long ago lost in the fire hose of social media but they referred to sparkling water as “angry water” and now I can’t not think of that
As a dream person so inspired and touched and tickled by this!
Nice line for minor character to sling out periodically
I once jotted down “the funniest joke ever” after awaking from a dream. It was not.
Oh the things I’ve written down and gone back to and said “Hope, were you high? Drunk? Drunk and High? Because this gibberish means nothing.”.
I once had a dream that middle-of-the-night me was convinced was the plot of the novel that would put me on every bestseller list. I opened my notes app & typed as many plot points as I could before I fell back asleep. When I looked in the morning, there were gems like “DHS! Folding laundry??” Daytime me could not interpret the genius. Kind of sad I deleted the note, though…
I once dreamed that I wrote a book and the first line was “I’m going to bury you with deaf people so that even when you’re dead you’ll have no one to talk to”. WTF me. I do still think it’s kind of brilliant though.
For the love of Chuck. (If you know that joke, you me and Jenny go back a few minutes. COME IN, CHUCK.
Meanwhile, my ADD addled brain is going, “moonshine is ‘still’ water”… Thanks for inviting my synapses to join in the tango!
Flaming globes of Leon. (Seinfeld episode in their funnier days).
Your is much better on all its levels🙃
Funny. EVEN while sleeping. Cat hit the cap button, sorry.
I woke up one night with a “million-dollar” idea- COPTARTS- essentially pop tarts that taste like donuts
(I would buy these. ~ Jenny)
Some years ago, I dreamed that all I needed was one canoe to become a millionaire. I would just rent the canoe out ALL YEAR LONG and the income would make me a millionaire. It took me a while after waking up to realize that in no way was that ever going to happen. To this day, if my husband and I see someone driving around with a canoe strapped on top of their car, we point and say “Bet they’re a millionaire.” and laugh, and laugh, and laugh.
I have had so many dreams that would have made absolutely fantastic books or sci-fi series. Deep characters, complicated backgrounds, unbelievable plot twists….. Can never remember any of it when I wake up, only the vague impression that IF I could remember, I’d be an amazing award-winning author.
I have had so many dreams that would have made absolutely fantastic books or sci-fi series. Deep characters, complicated backgrounds, unbelievable plot twists….. Can never remember any of it when I wake up, only the vague impression that IF I could remember, I’d be an amazing award-winning author.
When your SLEEPING brain comes up with this, you know you were meant to be a wordsmith. So your life is on the right path is the profound message here! Meaning you were not wrong:)
Speaking of sleep– shout out to my fellow Light Sleepers.
For reasons both physical and mental (hypervigilance from having to sleep in too many scary situations/places in my youth), it is way too easy to wake me up. So I used foam earplugs for a while, but they kept giving me ear infections, so I stopped using them. I’d take melatonin and get epically stoned, but that only *put* me to sleep, it didn’t *keep* me there. My Vulcan has been working from home since COVID and he and my Pug do their best to be quiet, but I still woke up constantly, even from REM sleep. Last week I said “ARGH! NO MORE!”, went on Amazon, and bought some special earplugs designed just for sleeping (they’re like earbuds, but without the wires).
You guys. YOU GUYS! So far I’ve had three sleeps that were only interrupted by my need to pee and my life is CHANGED. It turns out that it was having much the same effect on me as sleep apnea; waking up over and over means you don’t get good, deep sleep. I’d forgotten what it was like to feel rested; my head is clearer, it doesn’t ache, and I don’t need to nap 4 hours after I get up. Get yourself some good earplugs, fellow Light Sleeper– you don’t even realize how much better you’ll feel!
Your Pal,
Storm the Klingon
This reminds me of the “square candies that look round” in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. 🙂
I once dreamed I was in a big group of people playing a great game that was kind of the opposite of capture the flag where each team has multiple flags and multiple boxes for flags on a big woodsy course, and the goal is to plant your team’s flags into the opposite team’s boxes while keeping their flags out of your own boxes within a time limit. In the dream I had a great time but the next day I realized there were a lot of flaws with it. I did think the perfect name would be Cowbird after one of the birds that puts their egg in other species’ nests, but I abandoned the game concept.
In France they call sparkling water Sans Gas. So I like to call tap water “gasless”
Recently found a long-abandoned google doc called “story ideas”. All it contained was the single sentence WHAT’S WITH ALL THE SHIPPING CONTAINERS?!?!?!?! I have no idea if this was a fiction concept, something that was actually happening that I wanted to investigate and write an article about, or I’d just lost my damn mind.
Oh, Jenny! That’s a hilarious and relatable experience. We’ve all had those moments of late-night brilliance, only to wake up and find it was just a dream. It’s a great reminder that sometimes, the simplest ideas can lead to the most profound thoughts. Keep sharing your witty observations and humorous anecdotes. We love them!
khalidelarbi
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