So. The vet at A&M called with Dottie’s test results. You’ll want to read this.
Her CT scan showed that weird thickening of the bladder but nothing that looked like a mass or lesion and there was no sign of cancer in her bones or lymph nodes other doggie pieces.
The cystoscopy showed a bladder that looked pretty dang healthy. They did a biopsy of the places that were thickening and they came back negative for cancer.
So what does that mean? It either means that either the cancer is so early that it’s tiny and that means that we have more time with her…or that the initial cancer test that is almost never wrong was wrong and that she doesn’t have cancer at all.
Either way? WHOOP!
They’re going to meet with the people who invented the first test this week to get a better idea of whether to keep treating her for cancer or not.
I don’t know about you but I needed some good news this week and I’m certainly counting this as a win. CAN I GET AN AMEN?
Furiously Happy continues to find an audience in China and that means that I get tagged in a lot of weird things that possible don’t translate well. Mostly they’re reviews but when I use google translate it’s wonderfully entertaining:
Makes you wish she was your super super good friend.– Entertainment Weekly
She will let you spray coke out of her nose.– Parade
Jenny’s story will make you laugh, but in fact you know that you shouldn’t laugh so arbitrarily, otherwise you may laugh all the way to hell, so perhaps you shouldn’t read this book.You have to think about your personal safety. It would be wise.– Neil Gaiman, author of The American Gods
I can’t express how deeply Jenny poked me.– American Reader’s Review
Her sunny vernacular became a chicken butt soup….Fun angle. Interesting soul. ~ Amazon top review
I’m not sure if this is an insult or just a poorly translated way of saying “so funny you’ll shit yourself” but either way, “Experience the subtle line between laughing and abdominal pain” is my new favorite blurb.
Also, Furiously Happy is being translated in Bulgarian and I was like, “It’s so strange to think that my stories will be read in Bulgary” and Victor was like, “Yeah. Especially Bulgary isn’t a place. It’s Bulgaria.” But my way sort of makes sense because Calgarians are from Calgary so it would follow that Bulgarians are from Bulgary, but he must be right because spellcheck keeps changing “Bulgary” to “burglary” because even spellcheck is like, “What is even wrong with you?”
Answer: Lots. But on the plus side, I can give Turkish people abdominal pain using only my words, like some kind of long-distance diarrhea-sorcerer so at least I’ve got that going for me.
I consider myself very lucky that my brand of crazy is recognized so universally that my books have been translated into lots of different languages, and that means I have a whole shelf full of books that I wrote but can’t read a single word of. It’s a weird mix of feeling very accomplished and also completely stupid at the same time.
I just got this copy, which I think is Ukranian (or Bulgarian, maybe?) and the cover is awesome but which of those words is my name? It’s a riddle I cannot solve. If you speak Ukrania (or Bulgarian?) can you help me out?
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So, I got more medical bad news and it’s not the end of the world but it means lots more invasive tests and very soon I will write about it when I can find the humor in it (and there is humor in it) but today I just feel a little low and the best way for me to get out of that is to remind myself that my words matter so today for Mental Health Awareness Month and for Jenny Wants To Do Something Happy Day I’m giving away a couple dozen copies of Furiously Happy, or Let’s Pretend This Never Happened or YOU ARE HERE: An Owner’s Manual for Dangerous Minds. Or any book you need to have stronger mental health, actually. I was going to do the usual and just pick emails from the comments but there are always people who want to buy books for others as well so why don’t we do it like we do Booksgiving? You make a brand-new wishlist with one book on it you really need and then post it here and I’ll fill as many as I can. If you want to buy a book for a stranger you can just search the comments for open lists. It is a lovely thing.
These are the steps you have to take to set up a wishlist for today:
If you’re in a rough place and need a book to transport you somewhere else make A BRAND NEW wish list with nothing on it but the book you want. (Exception: If you have a kid who needs a book you can totally add one for them too.)
Here’s how you make a wish list: Under “Accounts and Lists” on the right, top side of Amazon select “Create a list”. Choose “Wish list” and name it something like “The book I really need right now” and choose “Public”. Then click “Create list”. Now add a book to your list by going to the book and clicking the “add to list” button on the bottom right of that page. Make sure you assign it to the new wishlist. Now here’s the most important thing that everyone forgets to do. You have to assign a shipping address to that specific wish list or it won’t go to you. EVERY new wishlist has to be assigned an address or you won’t get your stuff. So click on your wish list and click on “public” and it’ll take you to “List settings”. Click “view details” and where it says “shipping address” add yours. (Your city and first name will be shown to others, but not your full address.) Then save changes. Now leave a comment with a link to your wish list. Click here for my sample wish list so you’ll know what one looks like. Yours should just have one book on it but I have about 20 books listed on mine so that you can use if for inspiration if you don’t know exactly what you want. In your comment say which book you want in case someone specifically wants to buy you that book. Also, if you’re not in America put that in the comment so we can match people better by location and not have crazy shipping fees. Feel happy.
Here’s how you buy a book for a stranger. Click on their link. Choose a book. Select their name so it goes to their address. If it doesn’t give you the option of picking their name it means they didn’t add a shipping address so delete what’s in your cart and go to the next person. Send a story to someone in need. Feel happy.
If you have a book that really helped you get out of a bad place and want to suggest it in the comments that would be awesome. No worries if you don’t have one.
The only rule is that this is just for books. No gift cards or clothes or anything else because it gets out of hand really quickly. Just a simple book to take you away from the world and help you find new ones.
And as always, thank you. Thank you for supporting my words and listening and passing them on to others.
PS: Here are screen shots of what you should see while making a wishlist and add a shipping destination because it’s less complicated if you have pictures to walk you through:
Create a list under “Your lists”.
Make it a wish list, name it and make it public.
After you click “create list” click on the “public” button below:
Click “view details” to add your shipping address to this wish list:
Choose a shipping address and save changes.
Now you’re ready to add something to your list. Pick a book and choose the “add to list” button on bottom right side:
If you have another wish list set as your default (like I always do) then you’ll need to click “move to another list.”
Just click the list you’re going to share here.
Now go to the wish list and copy the link and then paste it into the comments. Done! There might be an easier way of doing it but that’s how I do it.
PPS. If you click on a wish list that says it’s empty that’s because the book has already been bought for them. 🙂 That is a very good thing.
PPPS. I love you guys. I’m going to rest for an hour or two but then I’ll be back to buy some books.