Category Archives: If I was a dog I’d be dead by now

Note: I’m an idiot. So I have pneumonia again because of course I do and nothing is cutting this cough so today my doctor gave me some cough syrup and my first question was, “Why does it say ‘This is a RED LIQUID’ on the bottle? And so I asked twitter and they were like, “I dunno.Continue reading “I have so many questions.”

This morning I went to swallow a camera inside of a pill so that the doctor can find out where all my missing blood is going (my current assumption: I’m just really irresponsible) and it didn’t start well because I got there at 7am and waited for an hour because “there was a malfunction”, whichContinue reading “It’s a fantastic voyage, if your idea of travel involves an esophagus.”

First off, several of you recently asked if I was tested for Hashimoto’s Disease and so yesterday I asked my doctor when I was in for more blood work and she was like, “Yeah, of course you have Hashimoto’s Disease.  You have a lot of diseases.”  And then she shrugged and went back to listingContinue reading “(UPDATED!) I’m less sick than before but I’m also less than I was before.”

In the ongoing of saga of my-body-is-trying-to-kill-me I got my results back from my endoscopy/colonoscopy but instead of a call I got an email with my results, and the subject was “FU CALL”: Which is apparently shorthand for “follow-up call” but it’s still concerning.  Also, an email isn’t a call.   Just saying.  But theContinue reading “Well, shit.”

So today I had my endoscopy/colonoscopy procedure and (as you told me) the prep from yesterday was worse than the actual procedure. From twitter yesterday: Today’s menu : clear liquids, jello and laxatives. Feels like I’m back in college… …except that the nurse says vodka does not count as a “clear liquid”.  Which makes me doubt she’sContinue reading “The drugs were awesome.”