Posts that will get me hate mail – Page 4

Bravery by any other name.

Last week I posted a video of me face-planting into the water. I thought I’d dip my toe in but then I realized how cold it was so I tried to back out but the water was not cooperating because it was all “I’m a not solid, idiot. You can’t push off of me” and I was likeContinue reading “Bravery by any other name.”

Toilet Leprechauns: Probably the Pandora’s Box of our Generation. (I added the “probably” so they can’t sue me for libel.)

David Sedaris once wrote that he often asks people waiting for his autograph questions like, “If you saw a leprechaun on the toilet would you run away or know that he meant you no harm?” and now that question haunts me. Personally, I’d be pretty sure that anyone standing on the toilet meant to harm me becauseContinue reading “Toilet Leprechauns: Probably the Pandora’s Box of our Generation. (I added the “probably” so they can’t sue me for libel.)”

Why don’t we just call it “sauce”?

So, turns out I’ve been saying the word “ragoût” wrong for my entire life, but that’s fine because I’ve never actually said the word out loud until I had to help Hailey practice a million spelling words, and then Victor was like “Seriously? Did you just say ‘rag out‘? That’s not even a word. It’sContinue reading “Why don’t we just call it “sauce”?”

An open letter to the Girl Scouts: UPDATED (AGAIN)

UPDATED BELOW: My daughter, Hailey, has been in Girl Scouts for years. I was never a big fan of Girl Scouts but I am a giant supporter of my kid and if she likes Girl Scouts then we will be at every damn meeting while I huddle in the corner of the room, smiling at the otherContinue reading “An open letter to the Girl Scouts: UPDATED (AGAIN)”

UPDATED: The Church of Bloggessianism. Choose your title, strangelings.

A few weeks ago I was accidentally made the leader of a church which doesn’t actually exist and now we have over 2,000 members. I’m pretty sure than makes me some sort of Pope so please send me hats. More about that here if you missed it. We decided that it would be nice to have someContinue reading “UPDATED: The Church of Bloggessianism. Choose your title, strangelings.”

Mama Paquita: “Why would a baby need a sombrero?” and other problematic questions.

This isn’t a real post. It was a rambling email I was writing to my sister and then it sort of got away from me and so I decided to flesh it out and share it here because maybe we weren’t the only ones who were taught this song in school. You can ignore it ifContinue reading “Mama Paquita: “Why would a baby need a sombrero?” and other problematic questions.”