I am the suspicious activity on my account.

For the last couple of years our credit/debit card has been cancelled over and over because of “suspicious activity.”  I never know that my card been cancelled until my card is turned down by an uncomfortable cashier, and that’s always nice because it’s such a great self-esteem booster when your card gets declined at the drugstore when you’re buying toiletContinue reading “I am the suspicious activity on my account.”

A friend for Beyonce.

Conversation with Victor: me: I FOUND A MAILBOX FOR US. Victor: We don’t need a mailbox. me: And yet I still found one.  It’s like a goddamn Christmas miracle. Victor: Yeah.  You keep using that word.  I don’t think it means what you think it means. me:  Miracle?  It means “A person or thing thatContinue reading “A friend for Beyonce.”

Beyonce

Several people have asked if we still have Beyonce-the-giant-metal-chicken.  OF COURSE WE DO.  Beyonce right this second: Country life agrees with him. Except for the hornets nest inside his belly, which, now that I think about it, sort of works as an organic burglar alarm.  No one ever expects to battle angry hornets when tryingContinue reading “Beyonce”

EVERYBODY WINS

Remember last month when my blog kept crashing whenever I got too much traffic?  Well, turns out I needed a new dedicated server and all that junk, and I sort of vacillated on getting one because it’s more expensive.  But then I got an email from a company who offered to sponsor my new serverContinue reading “EVERYBODY WINS”

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