TOUR!

This weeks starts the last leg of the North American Let’s Pretend This Never Happened Tour:

Here are the details as they come in:

Tues, Aug 7th – Toronto

Fri, August 10th – Edina MN

Sat, Aug 11th – Tempe

 Mon, Aug 13 – Denver

Tues, Aug 14 – San Diego

Wed, Aug 15 – Portland 

Thurs, Aug 16 – Seattle (8pm)

Fri, Aug 17 – Seattle (6pm)

Also, I know that some bookstores require you to buy the book from them but usually they’ll let you in line with one from another store after the people who bought the book there have gone through.  Also, I try to stay afterward in the parking lot for ninja-quick boob signings (whenever I can) in case you can’t afford the book.  Just call the bookstore if you have any questions.

Will you come?  Pretty please?

157 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Have a great time, Jenny – and enjoy the crowds that will definitely come to see you! *hug*

    Maura @ Eve Was Partially Right recently posted My Son, The Olympics, The Easy Way Out, & Why Clean Eating Is Tough For Some.

  2. I’m not quite from around but I assure you I totally would. Especially maybe for the ninja quick stuff and all that :P ;)

    Luna recently posted How I met vampire David.

  3. I don’t see Miami anywhere on that list….
    We have mojitos, sun, beach and deliciously attractive (albeit gay) men….put us on your tour, you won’t be disappointed.
    And if you are, wouldn’t be the first time, right?
    XOXO

    Martha recently posted Can’t go wrong with a LBD.

  4. Will you come to India? Please? Pretty please????

    Shreya recently posted Let It Rain.

  5. I don’t see NEW YORK on that list anywhere. Hmmmph. And we have deliciously attractive straight men, too! Take that, Miami. 8-)

    Marcheline recently posted Why, "next blog"? WHY?!?!.

  6. It’s really too bad that you couldn’t swing into western Canada for at least one book signing :( If you want to meet the most ass-backward folks, Saskatchewan would have been the place to stop!! You have a huge following out here and we would have guaranteed you the most effed-up reception possible :) Plus, we have tons of moose (meese?) that, unfortunately, get hit by cars all the time. Now THAT would make a great costume to wear to your next event :)

  7. Jenny I bought your book (the e-version) and love love love it!!!! The only problem is I keep laughing, and wanting to read it out loud to my husband, but I can’t because of the language. Yah. We’re strait laced about that, but we’re not republicans. Loved reading yours and.Victor’s story. Will you sign my iPad when you come back to houston?

  8. I sooooooooo want to come see you!!! You haven’t come within driving distance from me. :-(

    While I am sad, there are many others you are making happy with your tour. Safe travels!!!!!! :-D

  9. “ninja-quick boob signings”?

    can i pick whose boob, or do i have to bring my own?

  10. I caught that too!

  11. Do you sign moobs? :P

  12. Woo-hoo! Very excited for you to come to Minneapolis!

    danielle recently posted Some nights you just need to go on lockdown..

  13. First off, congrats on the tour and the boob signings – they both sound like tons of fun – I hope they both go well! I have to tell you, while I’m happy with my gender, I wish I was you! I’ve been writing two blogs for almost two years and I’ve just self-published my first book, but I still feel like a complete and utter loser!
    I can’t get spit on by people like Amy Einhorn or Heather Reisman – and as a bellman in Niagara Falls I get spit on every day! Do you have any advice for a 42-year-old, slightly balding wage slave who is just trying to scrape together enough success to make the E-List?

  14. We will be driving up to T.O. (3.5 hours one way) from Upstate NY to see you! I am so excited and I guarantee I will more than slightly inappropriate.

  15. Those cities are so damn lucky. I will probably have to cry myself to sleep on my mini-Beyonce the chicken…and then go to the ER for the stitches that will be required from that experience. So, I hope all the readers standing in lines in cities that are not mine have fun! ;)

    thedoseofreality recently posted Is It Really All You Thought It Would Be?.

  16. I am still so bummed I’ll be camping with my in-laws. Seriously the LAST thing I want to do, but for the good of the family, I’ll go. I would much rather go see you, meet other bloggers, and have some fun. Maybe next time. Have safe travels.

    Mom Off Meth recently posted I got super fat.

  17. 17
    Lindsay Barker

    Kinda wish I could send you my boob in the mail to be signed. But that would take a degree of ninja skill I don’t have.

  18. I so wish I could make the Toronto visit! I’m a huge fan but my darn job always gets in the way of fun.

  19. 19
    Carl Strauser

    Waiting ever so impatiently to see you in Minnesota!

    FYI, I have your calendar on the wall in my office. I think it’s appropriate that August is “Knock-knock, motherfucker.” month!

  20. I am so disappointed. I was thrilled to see that you were coming to MN, but turns out I have to miss your book signing because my very dear cousin is getting married at the same time. Seriously, I have plans on possibly two Friday nights a year, and THIS happens to be one of them. Fuck. Enjoy MN. The people aren’t as drunk as Texans, but I have no doubt my home state will give you a warm welcome.

  21. Why do you never come to Kentucky so I could actually go?????

  22. 3 of my friends & I are taking an estrogen-fueled road trip over 5 hours to be at the Portland signing. I can’t wait!!!!!!!!!!!

  23. I bailed on an another event on Friday so I can come to your event in Minnesota. It was a paying job, too.

    Looking forward to seeing you!

  24. I will be at the Changing Hands one in Tempe!!! I’m so excited you’re coming! My dad and I love you!

  25. Go get ‘em!
    I put the picture of us from your New York visit here: http://www.executiveseverance.blogspot.com/2012/04/too-much-humor-writing-talent-in-one.html

    Best wishes,
    Bob Blechman

    Robert K. Blechman recently posted Executive Severance one of Top 11 Most Read Books In the World?.

  26. Aww fun! Good luck!

    Mayor Gia recently posted Girlfriend Olympics Part I.

  27. Have fun, fun, fun!

    Kathleen recently posted Rufous Fantail.

  28. My husband and I are getting a sitter, at Friday night rates, so we can come and see you in Minneapolis! (OK, so we’re also going to see the Bourne Legacy, but nonetheless, we think you’re important.)

    Minneapolis has really good food, I highly recommend Tilia, which is not too far from where you’ll be signing.

    Girl Detective recently posted “Vestments” by John Reimringer.

  29. 30
    Lynne Thomas

    I’ll be at the Costco in Shoreline, WA. See you there. I’ll let you sign my boobs, but only if you’re Ninja quick!

  30. WOO!! Can’t wait to see you on the 10th in Edina! You don’t have to sign my boobs though…front or back.

    Jess recently posted It's true: I do not gargle donkey balls..

  31. See you in Edina!

    Brian recently posted The internet has broken my brain..

  32. Good luck with the last leg of your tour. I’d love to come see you; but I’m stuck in Houston, AKA the 7th ring of Hell this time of year. Be safe.

    Bodaciousboomer recently posted Bizarrometer #11 Anatomically correct mini golf- who knew?.

  33. You *would* come to a city less than an hour from me on the one day I have to be at the fertility clinic.

    Damn it, Lawson.

    signed,
    Jilted Canadian

    Heather recently posted broken once more.

  34. Why doesn’t anyone ever come to Montana? If it was going to happen, now would be the time. You know, before it’s like 40 below!

    Ranch Mama recently posted Today's Post: Fence Posts.

  35. AUGH! I think you’re going to be flying into Denver the same time we’re flying out. Come to Detroit…or even better, Ann Arbor.

    Erin recently posted How to Fall Incredibly Behind.

  36. C’mon, you’re in Seattle on the 17th and can’t pop up to Vancouver on the 18th?? After all Canada has done for you?? PUHLEEZE!?!?! :)

  37. We’ll be there. Joe will be the quiet husband in the corner pretending he doesn’t know me. Seriously. Fucker.

    Do you want us to bring you any doughnuts with a large double-double from Tim Hortons across the street from Chapters?

    Afterward, we’re hitting up a hole in the wall Chinese palace for dinner called, and I shit you not, Jenny, the Kum Jug.

  38. Sorry, it’s the Kom Jug but still pronounced as kum. http://www.yelp.ca/biz/kom-jug-yuen-restaurant-toronto

  39. There’s a big group from San Diego planning to attend!

    Melanie @MelanieMedia recently posted Four Simple Ways to Go Green at Home.

  40. Will you sign my back boobs?

    Kristi recently posted First Days.

  41. Still trying to convince my husband that seeing you in Tempe is essential to my well-being. Any recommendations? :) He wants me to go to the races w/him.

    Michelle recently posted Disclaimer.

  42. Add in Edmonton or Calgary and we will be there!!

    Where are those damn places? Wherever you are, head north… due north. If you see a polar bear have gone slightly too far, head back about 20 minutes…

    brahm (alfred lives here) recently posted 3 Great Summer TV Shows....

  43. I will be at the Portland stop and am so glad you decided to come to Portland!

  44. I am already in Toronto enjoying a weekend of fun. Seeing you tomorrow night will be the highlight of the summer! If you are in town and looking for something to do, let me know. My friends and I would happy to be your tour guides! Welcome to Canada!!

  45. Just got back from blogher12 but suddenly another road trip seems in order. I want to come!

  46. I will see you in Portland (Beaverton) next week!

    John Lewis recently posted My Acting Résumé.

  47. San Diego finally! I’ll be stalking you in the parking lot, already have the book. :-)

  48. I am looking forward to seeing you in Tempe!

  49. I’ll see you in Portland! Want me to bring you doughnuts or something?

    Jessa recently posted Mort Mortification.

  50. Squee! So excited you’ll be in my neighborhood!! i will totally be there.

    Ariel recently posted What Was I Thinking?.

  51. I just finished the book and OH EM GEE!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! I would try and read parts to my family but the tears from laughing so hard made it somewhat difficult! :0) I am sooo hoping to make the Portland stop!

  52. If there was any way for me to get out west to see you again I would. I’m telling all my friends and family in arizona to come see you in Phoenix! Have a safe trip!

    keaven neely recently posted We have some winners!!!.

  53. Good thing i saw you in Dallas. I was just in Toronto last week and i was so hoping to catch you again. Dang, missed you by a week. Oh well, have fun in Canada-Eh!

    Holli recently posted Happy Anniversary to my Blog.

  54. You are not coming to my town, otherwise I would be there! Love your blog—I just added you to my blog roll. We have quite bit in common it seems LOTS of humor!!!). Stop by my blog someday and say hi when you get a free moment (what’s THAT?). I am at http://Menopausalmother.blogspot.com

    Menopausalmother.blogspot.com recently posted Vacation Sloth.

  55. If you would just get a bit more east (beyond Missouri), I’ll be there!

  56. Have a great tour and no fondling in the car parks afterwards :-)

    Tom Stronach recently posted The Gold Urinal.

  57. I’ll see you in Toronto tomorrow!! And I’m bringing Johann Sebastian Bawk to say hi. :)

  58. Um…HELLLOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Yes, I’m coming. ESPECIALLY for the BOOB signing. You asked for it………

    Carm recently posted Remember that time I invited The Bloggess to dinner at my house and she respectfully declined?.

  59. I wish you’d come to Green Bay! :)

    Amber recently posted Swap Recaps.

  60. 61
    FredJsquirrel

    Will be there for the Toronto gig. Coming for my wife’s birthday. That was her idea. :)

  61. Ninja quick boob signings…I —

    Nope. Nothing I can say that won’t sound creepy.

    Heretic Husband recently posted Heretic Husband And The Temple Of The Holy Spirit.

  62. 63
    Samwhiteoak

    I love your book, but I’m in the UK, so I signed it myself….I hope you don’t mind…but I LOVE what I wrote. :-)

    Samwhiteoak recently posted best animal photobombs ever....

  63. See you in Mira Mesa San Diego!! Whoot Whoot, now what to bring? What to bring?

  64. I’m definitely going to try to make it to the Seattle signing.. but I have the eBook so I’m going to have to bring something else for you to sign…. lol

    Jaime recently posted just keep studying, just keep studying....

  65. Portland? I will DEFINITELY be there! I wonder if Powell’s will let me bring the giant metal chicken I got as a wedding gift for you to sign. BTW, best wedding gift EVER!!!

  66. Boy howdy do I wish I could be in Seattle and Portland during August. Sadly I’ll be steaming in the sauna known as Texas instead. Have a great tour! I hope you get to tour some of the cities you’re visiting and enjoy some of the awesome food and culture.

    Kelly at Cibatarian recently posted Houston Restaurant Weeks.

  67. argh! can’t believe I missed you in NY. especially since I didn’t know about the quick boob ninja in the parking lot things, which sounds kind of dirty to me, but hell, I’d been up for it

  68. I just purchased your book late last week and couldn’t put it down – finished it late last night. Loved it! I wish I could be there for your last leg of your tour but I’m in Kansas City.

    Rae recently posted Alright, alright....

  69. No Tampa or Orlando, I guess you didn’t come to Central Florida because everybody would have just thought you were normal around here, huh?

    Bill Dorman recently posted Newsflash, I am only 29.7% weird this week.

  70. Kicking myself for lending my copy the book to a friend, who took it traveling with her… Can’t wait to go to the Toronto signing tomorrow! :)

  71. My husband just asked me if I wanted him to find some sort of taxidermy animal to bring with us to the signing. I replied,”THAT WOULD BE AMAZING IF WE COULD!!!”

  72. 73
    Debs (Findawe)

    I would definately come, but it’s a little far from merry old England, and I have my new kittens Jenny Pawson and Cathulhu to look after :)

  73. Rats! I’ve been hoping you’d somehow show up in MN but now that you are, I can’t go! I just had a kidney transplant, and am homebound. Too bad. I’ve got pictures! ;)

  74. As a Texas writer currently visiting my home state, I’m reminded: only a state like Texas could create the Bloggess.

    Nowhere else is individuality so in need of volcanic expression.

  75. Totally ready to stalk… I mean see you in MN!!! I even had a friend call me up and tell me you were gonna be in town… like I didn’t already know, seeing as I’m obsessed… I mean a big fan :D
    Safe travels!

    Alyssa recently posted It's Sunday Night, and that means.....

  76. My spirit animal will be there in my place.

    Melissa recently posted Revolutionary Flight.

  77. Hi Jenny! Since you’re coming to Seattle on your tour, just wanted you to know that your book is number 4 on the holds list for the Seattle Public Library with 402 holds (as of Friday Aug. 3rd). For some reason, the columnist, Mary Ann Gwin, who also claims to be the/a Seattle Times book editor, states that Texas, your home state, is one that “Northwesterners love to hate.” I don’t know what’s up with that. I’ve lived here for 17 years and don’t remember a climate of disparaging remarks about Texas. Anyway, although I don’t know where it stands in the ratings, your book has 356 holds on 82 copies in the King County Public Library system, which is the one I use. And, uh, are you really coming to the Aurora Costco? Because that’s where the second Seattle link leads to. Elliott Bay Books is really cool; you’ll love it! Cheers!

  78. GOOD CALL re: going to Seattle 2 nights. HEAVENLY town. I miss it. Please wave to Mt. Rainier for me, if “the mountain’s out.” Portland = Fabulous as well, I heart S.D., etc. You picked GREAT TOWNS!! Nicely done. =)

    Best of luck on your travels and tending your flock. Sweet. Congratulations on your accomplishments. Hope you’re limber enough to pat yourself on the back each day. xoxo

    biobabbler recently posted Friday fuzzies.

  79. 80
    Sarah Jones

    Yay! I’ll see you in San Diego!!!

  80. While I love that you’re visiting the Pacific Northwest…why are you in Portland the one week I’m not?? This saddens me greatly. Any chance you could hit Portland again in September…?

  81. I’ll be seeing you in Portland, OR! Let me know if you want some ideas for great spots to see in the area (if you have time to do any sight seeing!) :-)))

  82. I’d totally come and say hi, but my other half refuses to see the plane fare from UK as a necessary expenditure. I showed him Pegasus, but that just seems to strengthen his refusal. My other half just doesn’t get me! :-(

    But have an awesome time, no doubt it’ll be packed solid! I’ll so be there in spirit!

  83. 84
    Mary (beezerbub)

    I’m am THERE! Here! Where you’ll be!

    Minneapolis!!! See you there!

  84. Please come to the east coast!!! Atlanta or Charlotte!!!

  85. I’m about a quarter of the way through the audiobook and don’t really want the paper copy as I’d never have time to read it that way, but you’ve brightened by my four-hour-a-day commute with laughing out loud more than once. Coming for your ninja-like boob signings sounds good except inasmuch as I’d have to admit to having boobs, and that’s probably mean pictures and nobody wants that. I could, however, shove an iphone near your face and let you “audio-sign” my audiobook, offering some brief recording taking about as long as opening your book and scrawling on the title page. Would you do that? If so, I’ll come to San Diego. It’s an hour out of the way, but as implied above, I’m pretty driving-tolerant.

  86. Welcome to Canada. Wish i could be there tomorrow. Enjoy :)

  87. I will see you in Phoenix…. I am so excited to meet you… I hope my fear of crowds doesn’t force me to start home

  88. Can’t tell you how sad I am—was totally planning to come to the Toronto stop and instead have to head to Fla. for a funeral (double sadness!) I might have been too shy to do anything but stand in the back of the room anyway, but sure am bummed to miss it altogether.

  89. We had to buy another copy to reserve our spot, but that’s okay, because we know the exact right person to gift the extra copy to.

    Can’t wait for Saturday!!!

  90. Read your book and loved it til THE END! Secret word is ‘snausages’. Can’t wait to discuss your battle with leukemia ;-) See you in San Diego!

  91. I know you were wondering if I was going to come, well I am!!! See you in Phoenix!!! Super excited!!

  92. I will see you this Saturday in Tempe, AZ. I CANNOT WAIT! All of my friends from out of state are so jealous of me! And they’ll be even more jealous once I tell them about the boob signing!

    P.S. Will you sign my husband’s boobs too?

  93. I can’t wait for my book/boob signing in Portland! If you’re hungry for dinner after all the book/boob signings, I suggest eating at The Roxy on Stark street. Delicious, greasy food with lots of profanity in the menu and inappropriate things on the wall, you’ll love it.

    Tiffany recently posted Six-Month Update.

  94. You’re signing boobs? Wahoo! My boobs have not been this excited in a long, long time. Sigh.

    goosh recently posted The Good, the Bad, & the Scary.

  95. Hellllll, yes! See you in San Diego! Can’t wait!

  96. CostCo? Classy! See you in Seattle

  97. Already flailed once, but allow me to do so again. *FLAIL* See you on Friday!

  98. OMG. I can’t believe it. You’re coming here! You’re actually coming to Toronto!

    (Excuse me while I chase my tail for a few minutes……)

    wolfshades recently posted Curiosity is the Bane of Prejudice.

  99. 100
    Cedarflame

    I will see you on the 16th at Elliott Bay Bookstore…I already own your book in hard copy and on my Kindle. You can sign my Kindle…and my book….I hope I get a chance to meet you. I suffer from Social Anxiety and a lot of people really make me nervous…I was thinking of just sort of sliding my book to you on the floor and you could slide it back signed or something.

  100. 101
    Cedarflame

    Also…when you get to Seattle if you have time…ask your people to take you to Archie McPhees it is totally your kind of store…google it…you will see…

  101. Good call on PHX in August. It’s been damn delightful.

  102. See you at Powell’s. I knew you would submit to Portland’s Power of Weird. Your resistance was futile.

    David Galiel recently posted The Cobbler’s Children Are Always Barefoot.

  103. You would really enjoy Village Books in Fairhaven, part of Bellingham, touted as the “City of Subdued Excitement”. We are a great place, and it’s a short trip up to Vancouver should you so choose to go there.

    Ryan Stiles lives here – I don’t know how he feels about twine but you never know when you’ll run into him. For me, it was Bed, Bath and Beyond; then our local Co-Op; and finally the place where I get my hair done in B’ham.

  104. I can’t come tonight, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t amazing, wonderful and extraordinarily awesome.

    Big hug! And squee!

    Kate recently posted Home Companion Wanted at Bathurst & St Clair W.

  105. I will be there, and I’ll be bringing my copy of the book and my impressive breasts with me!

  106. Bff Sarah and I can’t wait to see you in Denver! We often text each other, “Knock knock motherfucker.” just to brighten each others days. I do have to say, though, I’m going to worry the whole time you’re talking that this kind of event is torture for you and your anxiety! I’m a worrier though.

  107. Seriously depressed that you’re going to be signing away at the opposite end of the very mall I slave away in on Friday night. I arranged to have it off, but the the Gods conspired and created a perfect storm in which not one of my co-workers will save me from. I’d cry if I wasn’t still laughing from this Pegasus post.

  108. i’m totally going to the Toronto signing tonight!! and I already have your book from it’s original release date! YAAAAAYYYYY!!

  109. I just finished the book and it’s SO funny! I laughed so hard in places that I couldn’t breathe. And thanks for the part about RA- my husband has it and he’s not good about sharing how he feels, so it was good to hear perspective from another person.

    Carrie recently posted Deep breath.

  110. Boo! Super disappointed here for the fact that A)I missed the Texas signings B)I originally FROM Phoenix and can’t make that either (due to being in Texas) and C)coming to your book signing would have been an AWESOME birthday present. This is one of those situations where I wish I could clone myself…..

  111. No DC-area tour stops? We have tons of bookstores. OK, we have SOME bookstores. But apparently, not enough taxidermy outlets. :(

    carmen webster buxton recently posted On giving away ebooks: How much is “free” worth?.

  112. You’re coming to The Valley of the Sun (Phoenix and environs) in *August*???? Either you’re a bit of a masochist or your publicist secretly hates you. ;-)

    BTW, have you read this: http://hahasforhoohas.com/the-fart-that-almost-altered-my-destiny/

  113. Eek! I am so excited you’re coming to Portland! I only recently discovered you and have wasted many precious hours going through your archives (and running to the bathroom because now that I’m 40 laughing that hard is a dangerous thing). I sometimes read posts to my husband, but they lose their magic somewhat since I’m usually laughing so hard I’m crying. I will totally be there even if I have to lock my children in the car! Or I’ll bring them inside – it’s not like they don’t hear that kind of language at home and being only a few years out of breastfeeding, they loooove boobs!

    Lainey recently posted What Do You Suck At? Burning Question Series.

  114. I think the /ncr is right. It is supposed to do the no country code thing. I’m in Canada so for me it’s .ca and for americans it’s .com and for ppl in France I think it would be .fra but apparently if you put .com/ncr (I think) then websites should show with all orignal content with nothing removed because of country laws or something. But I’m getting all tangenty. I am impulsively off to see you in TO with two of my girlfriends and am kind of freaking out because it’s probably going to be super freakin busy and I suck with crowds. But I also suck with directions so I kept interuptting my MOH to read him parts of your book because in some hilarious ways we are brain twins. So sorry for my odd comment. It’s keeping me relaxed on the highway.

    Flabbergasted Mom recently posted Sometimes I just can't focus.

  115. 116
    Margalo E.

    I wish I could come — I was so excited when I heard you were adding Seattle, but now I have to be out of town that weekend.

  116. I am so bummed that I’m not in Toronto for your book signing. I wish you big crowds, that are aware of your crowd anxiety and just snap their fingers instead of roaring loudly (which is totaly warranted, but not great when you have anxiety.) Love you Jenny!

  117. 118
    Van City Girl

    How about a stop in Vancouver, it’s sooooooooo close to Seattle!!!

  118. After leaving heman hubby at the airport in a rush…although I did come to full stop to let him out…and stranding the kids at youth group to see you in Annapolis…the busyfamily has objections to my heading to points NW to see you…they just don’t get me!

    dawn aka busymom recently posted The Rise and Fall... of a blogger... sort of.

  119. IF YOU ARE GOING TO THE EDINA SIGNING!!

    I dunno if anyone’s posted this, but I called a minute ago and it’s one of those where people who buy the book at the store get priority over those who bring it in. But you are allowed to bring your own book! Yay!

  120. Jenny,
    I’m working on an article about Texans that have made the NYT bestseller list. Any interest in seeing the questions and typing out some responses?

  121. I was at the signing tonight and I bought the book (even though I had already read it because I had borrowed a copy from a friend) and I really enjoyed myself even though i was totally and utterly freaked out by the heat and the crowd.

    Thanks!

  122. 123
    Kae Sweeting

    I wanted to go to the Toronto signing so bad but I had no way to get there :( Alas, I shall have to do with your awesomeness through your blog, your book, and your book on audio :P

  123. Hi Jenny!
    I met you last night at Indigo Chapters in Toronto. I was the nerd up near the front of course, and you complimented me on my white dress from Shabby Apple (thank you!). I finally got up the gumption to write a little something here… and just want to say thanks for your encouragement on finding my voice, and to keep writing. I’m definitely NOT a writer per say… or let’s just say it’s not a strength of mine. My husband loves me very much (I think I can say that), and although he sings my praises in other ways, he even admits I need to really work on my writing.
    Thanks for your encouragement and enjoy your tour!! xo

    Marian (Sweetopia) recently posted How to Use Tappit Cutters {& Thank You Nurse Decorated Cookies}.

  124. OMFG I am so freaking mad right now, I have been HOPING PRAYING PLEADING in my mind for you to come to Minneapolis, and you are coming on Friday, AND I WON’T BE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FTLOG!!! (for the love of god!!!) AGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!

    I can’t express my remorse!

    AGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

    Amy

  125. No one ever tours in New Mexico. I think they forget we’re part of the U.S. I mean, c’mon, Albuquerque and Santa Fe together are like three quarters of a million people, and they’re pretty close together, so isn’t that enough people to justify a stop? But no…

  126. Pittsburgh? PLEASE? :)

  127. Omgomgomgomgomg! You’re coming to The Mile High City – at last! My BFs and I will totally be there stalking you. I mean we are totally hoping to get a book signed. And possibly a miniature baby beyonce – maybe- she, too, is kinda sharp- and could cut you – but not like in a prison way…she’s innocent.
    Honestly, I can’t think of a more awesome way to spend a Monday evening. Will there be wine and a cheese platter there? I could bring- if you like….
    It will be so great to *see * you in some place other than my bedroom, my cozy family room, or the chemo lounge. (and I don’t mean that in any freakish stalker kind of way….that’s where I read your book and laugh loudly and annoy my sleeping husband and all the other chemo patients. Then I tell everyone how funny you are and they should read your book Becasue I’m pretty sure it cures cancer)

  128. 130
    jbhcurlysuee

    I just finished the book, i loved it! Reminds me of my childhood my grandparents are so much like your parents. Pet raccoons, and more, lmao. I wish you were going to come to NC around ft bragg area.

  129. Yes, please more clarification on the Costco appearance on Aug. 18?

  130. My friend Angela and I will be there at your reading in Edina, and hopefully we can get there in time for the signing, and to hear the reading! SO excited!

  131. Totally coming to the Mn visit tonight. I’m a big-time lurker on your blog and just got my husband addicted. He had to read your book after I was in tears reading it on a car trip. We’ll both be there. Can’t wait!

  132. See you tonight!

  133. Ugh! My friend Jess and I wish we could come…we’re secretly convinced you may be our third amigo…long lost and in Texas…Hope you have a fantastic signing, and your monetary compensation far outweighs the cost of your medication and hand cramping. :)

  134. I bought your book and can’t wait to meet you in San Diego on Tuesday!

  135. Recent fan of your blog and just bought your book and have not stopped laughing since I started reading it. I actually woke my husband up this morning when I woke up and thought about Beyonce the giant chicken and started laughing out loud. Don’t understand why he wasn’t amused by that…no sense of humor, I guess. Can’t wait to meet you tonight in Tempe!

  136. Please come to Victoria/Vancouver so my GF can meet you, Victoria in particular is a nice laid back city with helpful friendly people (Neil Gaiman was here once so it’s gotta be good right?)

    Please?

  137. I’m going to be in Toronto on the 16th. If time travel existed we could meet!

    Kathleen in Canada recently posted Ethics, rights, empathy, and fried chicken.

  138. At first I was like “Dangit, my sisters get to go meet the Bloggess in Phoenix” and then I was like “Oh shiz! She’s coming to San Diego!” but then I was like “SD is huge… probably won’t be anywhere near me” and then I was like “HOLY SHIT. She’ll be 2 MILES FROM MY HOUSE.”

    Moral of the story is, hopefully I will be meeting you on Tuesday :)

    The end.

    Samantha recently posted Coming Soon! Again....

  139. I almost got to see you tonight! I came into Changing Hands (Tempe AZ) with my two little girls (3 & 7) and my husband, right about the time you said “diarrhea”. Except I am 5’3″ and can’t see shit – ever. We stayed through your reading & laughed our arses off, but since there were so many people to wait for you to sign we got ice cream across the street instead (sorry!). My youngest wouldn’t stop asking why you had to poop so much. Never mind rape or OD’ing. I love my kids. And You. Bummed I couldn’t see you in person, but in case you didn’t notice – the AZ if flipping HOT and haboobing. And I have the patience of a hungry hyena.

  140. Loved seeing you in PhX last night. And thank you for doing the Juanita. Without it my night may have been RUINED. Xoxo

  141. Damn, I wish you were hitting a little more south of seattle more instead of north. But I’m going to see if I can’t make it work :)

    Val recently posted Hey Daughter of Mine.

  142. We had SUCH a great time in Tempe, AZ! Thank you so much for coming out to see our great city. When you come out from the back room area, the look on your face was priceless. It was like you couldn’t believe how many people were there to see you! Oh, and then the woman in the red dress with the Javalina was priceless. I’m also glad you got to expand your vocabulary by learning the (Arabic, did you know that? I didn’t!) word, HABOOB! Hee hee hee! (For the rest of you, yes, it’s a real word, look it up!)

    My husband and I got the best seats in the house, so we got to see every look on your face right up close, and it was so refreshing to watch your very honest reactions. In case you didn’t know it before this tour, hopefully you know now that YOU ARE LOVED by your fans!! If 14 weeks on the best sellers list doesn’t tell you that, nothing else will I guess. *laugh*

    Thank you so much for a wonderful night. We both found you funny, charming and honest. Oh, and accommodating! So thank you so much. I don’t get out often due to my condition, and my husband and I go on so few dates, so this was a great opportunity for us to have a wonderful evening together, while getting to meet one of our heros.

    You really have changed our lives. Keep up the great work! We are looking forward to the next book and speaking engagement. Of course, you may have to rent out a concert hall!) Thanks again for a wonderful night!

    Caitlyn recently posted Why my husband sleeps on the couch..

  143. I totally forgot about the boob-signing option. My copy was an ebook copy so I didn’t stand in line for that. I did stand in line. I found people to talk to and followed them up to the end of the first table and then dropped out….to only find someone else doing something interesting or saying something interesting or wearing something interesting and I’d talk to them. My faux daughter-in-law was in line, back in the Novembers of Minneapolis. We both had a great time, thank you for doing this for all of us.

    Jonya recently posted I have a body doing this decay-thing, too.

  144. Re: Amy Einhorn…
    I just finished your unbelievably awesome book that made me feel less alien in this world I am forced to call home.

    Re: Unicorns. I don’t suppose anyone has pointed out to you the un-random awesomeness of your friend Amy Einhorn. Einhorn means “Unicorn” in German. Ergo, you HAVE a unicorn in your life that is unlikely to leave pellet poops on your carpet or demand alfalfa for breakfast unless she was detoxing or something equally logical.

  145. The big question is, will Tom be there?

    (joke meter = 7/10)

    Delfin Joaquin Paris III recently posted I Think Everyone Was Depressed Today.

  146. Jenny, my kids and I (yes, I know… my children!!) are coming to see you tonight from Orange County! It’s going to kill me at work tomorrow (which is probably why God invented caffeine), but I haven’t heard the end of not taking them to LA when you came out last time… so 3 hours of traffic here we come!
    I’ll be the one with the book — and two metal chickens — to have signed.
    See you in a few hours!!
    Bridge :)

  147. PLEASE write another book! SOON! This book was fucking mind blowing HILARIOUS!!! :)

  148. You should have come to Madison, WI. Of course, if I had been keeping up, I would have been in Minneapolis to worship you.

  149. So bummed we missed you in Portland last night. We went to the wrong Powell’s :( My wife was very upset and I had a pic of a taxidermy Mongoose and cobra fighting for you.

  150. Hello,

    I was at last night signing in Portland and was fantastically excited that you were more popular than Powells had expected by a long shot. So popular. I’m now looking for a book to put my signed plate in. Though I think I’m going to take a picture of Marty’s belly and paste it in as well. especially since I missed my chance to have you write the book plate out to “my favorite spider vet” or some such other fun species.

    Thank you for keeping a riduculous view on life and sharing with us. It really does help me keep a positive look on things.

    Possibly your biggest fan that also treats spiders, snakes, & monkeys oh my!

    Tawnia L Shaw, DVM

    Tawnia L Shaw, DVM recently posted Kinkajou Pets – Health, Behavior, and a Fun Kinkajou Video.

  151. Just finished your book 5 minutes ago:literally 5 minutes ago. Cried when I read the first few sentences of “The End. sort of” because you were describing me: I always, always stay till the very end of the credits. Otherwise, yours is one of the very very few books I’ve read and laughed like crazy all through it. “A Confederacy of Dunces” comes to mind, even though it is very different. I apologize for babbling. I have been a huge fan from the moment I laid eyes on the cover of your book and bought it in spite of the fact that almost every book in our house was purchased second hand (we are talking a LOT of books). Still babbling. Sorry. Thank you for all of the laughs. Thank you for being you, and writing about it.

  152. I just finished your book.I laughed I cried you are brilliant I loved it and I cant wait for the sequel .

  153. Good grief. I’m annoyed I found out too late you were in Seattle last week! I live about an hour north of the city and there is an antique store that I pass every day, which puts giant metal chickens (smaller than Beyonce but larger than real chickens) out front, and so every day I’m reminded of the Bloggess. And for that reason alone, you – daily! – get a “good thought” from me, which I hope makes you feel just the slightest tingling of “better” for at least a fraction of a second, particularly on those days when you are not feeling so good. And…gosh if I’d been paying attention and realized you were up here, maybe I could have stolen you away for a bit to come see this antique store. It likely has some curiosities that you could have surprised Victor with when you got home. I’m sure he would have been so pleased. *sigh* Next time, my dear!!

  154. *perkle* YOU WERE IN TORONTO AT THE BEGINNING OF AUGUST?! *perkle* life… y u disappoint me so much? *sigh* i fear i will never come to meet my spirit animal (who is obviously jenny)

  155. Hope you had a nice time during the tour. What’s new from your side?

    Selena recently posted Nicki Minaj The Rapper Top New Songs List Most Popular.

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