It was on Wikipedia so it must be true.

Conversation in the car with my husband:

me:  I can’t understand you when you’re mumbling like the Hamburglar.

Victor: The Hamburglar didn’t mumble.  He said “Robble-Robble.”

me:  Yeah.  And that’s incoherent mumbling.

Victor:  No.  It’s him saying what he’s doing.  He’s robbing you.  Of hamburgers.

me:  Oh my God.

Victor:  You just now got that, didn’t you?

me:  I thought he was just saying nonsense words.  Why would he use “robble” as a verb?  Why wouldn’t he say “burgle, burgle“?  That way  it makes sense and also the word “burger” is almost in it.  That’s just basic marketing.

Victor:  Maybe because he’s not a burglar.  A burglar robs you when you’re not home.  A robber is more like a mugger.  More violent.

me:  Huh.  The Hamburglar was made of burgers, wasn’t he?  Doesn’t that make him a cannibal?

Victor:  No.  You’ve confused the Hamburglar with Mayor McCheese, haven’t you?  Classic error.  The Hamburglar was the only human in the group.

me: And Ronald McDonald.

Victor:  No.  Clowns aren’t human.

me:  Agree to disagree.

Victor:  I just never understood why Mayor McCheese was the Mayor but then sometimes he was also the arresting officer.  That seems like a conflict in judicial law.

me:  Right?!  And he carried around that big police stick to hit people with.  McDonald’s was kind of fucked up, now that I think about it.  And what the hell was Grimace?  A stain?

Victor:  He was a shake.

me:  A purple shake?

Victor:  And he was called “Grimace” because that’s what you do when you drink a shake too fast.  You grimace.

me:  It’s weird how much you’ve thought about this.

Victor:  It’s weird that you claim to be a writer and yet you don’t recognize “robble” as a verb.

me:  Hang on.  I’m looking all this up on the internet.  Oh, holy shitsnacks.

Victor: What?

me:  Prepare yourself.  “A large, purple character was first introduced in November 1971 as the “Evil Grimace”. In Grimace’s first two appearances, he was depicted with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes.”

Victor:  SEE.  I KNEW MILKSHAKES WERE INVOLVED SOMEHOW.

me: Stop yelling.  Then in 1974, Grimace lost two of his arms and his evilness and became a simpleton whose brother might have been “the king of all Grimaces.”

Victor:  I totally want a t-shirt that says “KING OF ALL GRIMACES”.

me:  God, who doesn’t?  Apparently, Mayor McCheese was dropped from the line after he was sued by H.R. Pufnstuf for being too similar.  Hoy crap, this is like TMZ for puppets.

Victor:  You’re just making shit up now.

me:  It’s on the internet so it’s real.  OH!  And Officer Big Mac was the guy with the constable uniform.  He just looked like Mayor McCheese but they were totally different characters.  So that’s a relief, huh?

Victor:  I’ve been losing sleep over it.

me:  Also, apparently Ronald McDonald had a dog named “Sundae” who was extremely sarcastic and negative, spoke in a monotone, and hated ticks, adventures, and the Hamburglar, whom he referred to as “Bun-Head.”  And he was portrayed by that guy who played “Mini-Me” on Austin Powers.

Victor: I don’t believe any of this.

me:  It’s totally true and all part of the McDonald’s canon.  Ronald McDonald had an unmedicated, angry, depressive dog who I think was probably racist.  If burgers are classified as a race, that is.

Victor:  This is one of the strangest discussions we’ve ever had.

me:  No.  Not even close.

PS.  You are welcome, Victor.

291 replies. read them below or add one

  1. This is exactly the kind of conversation I would have if I had another person like this to have a conversation like this. With.

  2. Omg that’s awesome lol!

    Ari recently posted A mini shopping spree… ok, maybe more than mini..

  3. And to think I lived my whole childhood eating Happy Meals and not knowing any of this stuff! From now on I’m sticking to Wendys – much less complicated.

    Lisa recently posted Monday is my second favorite day of the week. OK, maybe third..

  4. I love how your brain works. Now, go back and look at some of the ‘realities’ of bugs bunny. That shit will blow your mind!

    Nuala Reilly recently posted Funny Saturday.

  5. I knew there was something wrong with Grimace. The internet reveals all!

    Ellie Di recently posted The particular sadness of feeling like a hack.

  6. You didn’t even begin to discuss the Fry Guys!!

  7. Can we go on a double date? But not to McDonald’s.

  8. I really wish I could be present for just one of your conversations. THis one was awesome.

    Naked Girl in a Dress recently posted Phillip Phillips: Successful Being Himself.

  9. Haaaah! I totally never got the “Robble, robble” thing either! Always just thought it was a strange noise. Thanks for clearing that up, Victor. Also… yeah… you’ve thought about this too much.

  10. My dream of being Queen of all Grimaces is not realized in t-shirt form, yet. Now I don’t know what to do!

  11. OMG.
    When I was a kid I RODE ON THE Characters in the play land… wow.. it explains A LOT

    tabitha W recently posted Waving Shut Up.

  12. I always assumed that Mayor McCheese was first Sheriff McCheese before running for the mayor’s office in an election or something.

  13. no no no… the shirt needs Grimace with a crown on his head! :) lol and I’m still giggling… at work…. getting looked at funny… so thanks for that! :P

    Rachel recently posted Freebie haul.

  14. I have a pillow set of McDonald land… sleep on it every night. It will never be the same.

  15. My head hurts just reading about your conversations. I can only imagine the agony I’d feel if I were in the same room with you.

  16. Totally rethinking my childhood right now. LOL!

  17. OMG!! I never knew “robble” was what he was say – or that it was a verb! This just made my day!

  18. 18
    @vodkaandlemons

    I love this! I also love that Rosie O’Donnell was reading it. HAHA!

  19. haha I have learned SO much from your blog over the years!!!! I’m not sure what it says about me or your blog, but take it as the compliment that it was intended as!! I grew up during the late 80′s early 90′s when the Play House was a huge hit, how did I never know this about McD’s … Now they have become nazi’s and removed all the play houses because they don’t want kids to have fun and run off the calories they just consumed… but it is all good because they put apple pieces in with the kids meal…

  20. This sounds like a conversation I SO could have with hubby! :)

    Chelsea Williams recently posted Filled With Nothing.

  21. SEE! Victor is just as “off” as the rest of us! I KNEW it!!

  22. And now I can read fiction tonight because I have totally learned something new today! Love the conversations you have with Victor. My husband won’t have conversations like this with me.

  23. This sounds like a conversation my husband and I would have. No joke.

    Suburban Style Challenge recently posted Don’t Forget to Enter the Spring Fashionista Giveaway Event!.

  24. I really wish you lived in the Pennsylvania/Delaware area, Jenny. My husband and I would totally be best friends with you and yours.

    Issa recently posted Day 196 - Tuesday'll Feel Like Monday.

  25. And…that was some literary genius!

    Julie DeNeen recently posted Do You Want to Be Famous?.

  26. I thought everyone talked this way in marriage. So glad I am not alone! ;) P.S. Ronald McDonald should be the poster person for Prozac!

    thedoseofreality recently posted “Arie” Excited? We Found The Next Bachelor.

  27. He’s right, clowns aren’t human. They are satan’s minions designed to lure us into a false sense of security with the perceived fun loving goofy nature. Then they steal your soul, your credit card number and then they find where you live and poison your pets. I don’t like clowns.

  28. Clown’s are NOT human. Point – Victor.

  29. Shirt should be purple, but not Barney purple, make it Grimace purple, which is pretty much like a grape popsicle purple, right?

  30. But he was named The Hamburglar…..so he WAS a burglar….therefore, according to Victor’s argument, he should have said “Burgle, Burgle” instead of “Robble, Robble”……right???
    Just when I thought I had all the McDonaldland characters figured out….you throw this curve ball. :)

  31. 31
    purplepenguin

    I love your conversations with Victor! I read them aloud to my husband, and we crack up! We have had similar conversations in the car, while driving long distances. I think it has something to do with being trapped in a small space with another person that makes these happen.

  32. I’m not sure what part of this made my heart the happiest. But I do enjoy a good vocabulary word. I’m going to “robble” all day (but I’m only robbling the word).

    Ashley recently posted Questionable..

  33. Grimace had extra arms? Like an insect? Who stole shakes? Why were so many of these characters designed to steal things? Did the McFry guys steal fries? Why can’t I stop asking questions?

    Korinthia Klein recently posted Lessons in Love.

  34. I grew up obsessed with Happy Meals and never realized how twisted the McDonald’s world was! Then again, I was also crazy about the Smurfs (little blue people who live in brightly colored mushrooms, and only one female in the entire population) and Scooby-Doo (4 kids in a psychadelic van, one of whom consumes whole tables of food at once and then snacks on dog biscuts). Nothing twisted there, right?

    To my fellow geeks, I watched my first two Dr. Who episodes last night. I get it now.

  35. 35
    Heather Rains

    Love this post! I laughed out loud many times at my desk reading this!

  36. you know that t-shirt has to come in purple, right?

  37. Thanks, Victor. I never connected “Robble” with robbing. I feel enlightened now.

    Karen Sanders recently posted New beginnings.

  38. Shouldn’t a King of All Grimaces shirt be purple? At least in my head it should be.

    Alyson recently posted Oh, hello.

  39. That is the funniest/ most informative thing I have read all day! I am literally LOL!
    Thanks guys!

  40. Months of healthy eating and weight loss and now all I can think about is a Big Mac.

  41. Zoinks! I always thought that he was saying “gobble-gobble” because he was eating the hamburgers terribly fast, so that he wouldn’t get caught with them. I remembered the police officer was different than the mayor — I think he also spoke with an Irish accent, because he was “Big Mac.” Or maybe that’s racist. And OMG, YES!! to whoever brought up the Fry Guys…

  42. I worked an event at Hamburger U once, and was somewhat startled to discover that the Hamburgler was a girl.

    Though I totally knew that the cop and Mayor McCheese were 2 different guys.

  43. You need a picture of Victor in the King of all Grimaces shirt. Wearing a hamburglar mask, of course.

    CJ recently posted The Upswing.

  44. I hate to admit that I never would have put this stuff together if you and Victor hadn’t discussed it. Thank you for expanding my mind today.

    Dolores recently posted Damn you, internet doctors..

  45. i swear when you wrote, “it’s on the internet so it’s real,” i thought you were gonna link to that state farm commercial where the girl met a ‘french model’ online.

  46. OMG…i cried laughing…THANK YOU!!!!!

  47. 47
    Michelle Weisenberg

    My friend had a boyfriend that looked like a beatnik version of the Grimace. We called him Grimnik.

    Michelle Weisenberg recently posted I called the Witch Doctor and this is what he said…..

  48. I’ve now been educated about “Scottish” food. Thanky you for that.

    GK Adams recently posted Unbelievable!.

  49. So..there were no McNugget characters?

  50. A few years ago I met a man who claimed that he used to be one of the Ronald McDonalds when they first opened up their new restaurants in the 1960s. He was a dry witted, sarcastic older gentlemen who I would be afraid to let around a child of mine! I don’t know what he was like before his McDonald’s stint…. but he is pretty fucked up now.

  51. I always wondered what happened to Mayor McCheese. It never occurred to me that the creepy H.R. Pufnstuf had anything to do with his disappearance.

  52. I’ve now been educated about “Scottish” food. Thank you for that.

  53. OK. here’s the deal. McD’s sucks the BIG one! If you just talk about the ‘toon character it’s ok. I just hope you don’t actually eat that crap, well, too often.
    kisses
    me

    judy recently posted And another thing.....

  54. OH MY GOD!! This just made me remember that I had the McDonaldland play set as a kid! What the hell? http://www.plaidstallions.com/remco/rem8.html

  55. OMG, I just learned that the hamburglar was voiced by Scooby Doo (Frank Welker).

    I hope you are happy. I now have a mental image of the hamburglar going around saying “Ruh Roh”.

  56. I kind of want to agree with Victor about the idea that clowns are not human. I’m probably wrong and you are, thus, probably right. Or left.

    Seanna Lea recently posted [10 Tuesday] thank goodness for March.

  57. I think the t-shirt needs Grumpy Cat on it!

    http://www.grumpycats.com/

  58. I think the t-shirt needs Grumpy Cat on it!

    http://www.grumpycats.com/

  59. David, I would have this conversation also….if I had someone to make this conversation with…

    Usually i just have these conversations in my head, which makes no sense since I argue both sides.

    Lori recently posted Dreams.

  60. I always knew there was something sinister about McDonaldland….

    http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2003/09/10

  61. that was by far my favorite conversation between you and Victor! Took me back to the good ol days when McDonalds was frying their fries in hamburger fat. Yummmm!

    Kimberly J recently posted Love Letter Day; 3/31/01; 1 hr to go.

  62. Omigosh, victor has finally slid all the way down the rabbit hole with you. Congratulations!

  63. That is so fuckawesome.

    Slightly related: Somebody once called the library because she was having an argument with her friend as to whether “burgled” was a word. It is.

    Jen recently posted Tasty Tuesday: Beef and Green Bean Stir Fry.

  64. Wow, this is awesome. I just stared at that purple thing this week while taking my kid to a McDonald’s Playspace and had no idea what it was. They must’ve been adding LSD to their Shamrock shakes.

    Girl to Mom- Heidi recently posted Disney Oops.

  65. And here I always thought the Hamburgler was some distant relative of Golum’s for that weird throat mumbly thing.

    Also, Clowns aren’t human…particuarly when they have sharp teeth. Or guffaw.

    Jess recently posted Because I find weird shit in every corner of the country, that's why..

  66. Oh dude. That was fucking awesome.

    wonkafonka recently posted Tourism Fail.

  67. I never knew about the robble robble thing either. The snorting done while reading this post just scared my dog half to death.

  68. If you guys ever got divorced I’m not sure whether I would hit on you or Victor first.

    Julie recently posted Brendan Spring Choir Concert.

  69. For a long time the McDonaldland Cookies* kept the four-armed Grimace cookie pattern, which always confused me as a kid because I never really knew him as the four-armed version, except perhaps in my nightmares.

    (* – I don’t think these exist any more, but as I recall Grimace was the only full-bodied cookie, and all the other characters were just their heads. So you could slowly dismember Ronald’s face by eating him. I should probably talk to a counselor about that memory.)

  70. This reminds me of the fact that I used to think the Burger King and the Dairy Queen were married.

  71. Ok I need to break out our McD’s VHS tapes now! I loved the Fry Guys. And I didn’t know the big purple Grimace guy lost his arms. Tragic.

    Life On Peanut Layne recently posted So It's My Anniversary and I Just Want to Pee Alone.

  72. This conversation has made me unhealthily hungry. And it disturbs me to be sitting here wondering what a Grimace would taste like.

    J. Kevin Tumlinson recently posted choosification.

  73. Awww, I totally miss the McDonald’s Playlands!!! They were such a treat to be taken to as a kid. :D Thanks for the memories Jenny!

    Devon S recently posted It's the little things.

  74. do you have cameras in my home? also i now need to get some mcnuggets.

  75. I hate that I knew all of the references and had never once questioned the etymology of “robble.”

  76. Now I just want a hamburger.

    Cris recently posted Zen and the Art of Toast.

  77. hamburgler used to give me nightmares. I always thought he would steal my happy meal toys.

  78. Ho. Lee. Shit. Robble, robble? I had no idea. I’m relieved they only serve burgers. I’d had to see what Mr. McWeiner would’ve looked like…. Likely would’ve involved a trench coat and bare buns.

  79. I always thought Mayor McCheese and Officer Big Mac were one in the same. Learn something new every day. Too bad its about 30 years late for me to learn this.

  80. You two have the best conversations. I loved learning about the lawsuit.

    Kathleen recently posted Darkness and a Duck.

  81. You know, I thought the bit about Sundae was going over the top, and that part you were just making up.

    That will learn me. Everything I have ever read on this site is true, isn’t it?

  82. holy Shitsnacks, Batman … you’ve just given me a MisterMisty Headache –

  83. Well, he’s right. Clowns aren’t people.

    Jon Jones recently posted Harlem Shake - Official Chalkboard Stickmen Edition.

  84. 1. I am so buying the hell out of that shirt.

    2. “Clowns aren’t human”. Hah! Bwahahahahahaha…..

  85. We used to have a game for the Nintendo called McKids where you played one of two normal kids who had to traverse the strange world that included Grimace so it HAD to be based on McDonaldland. What a sordid history it has though!

  86. THIS is what was wrong with my childhood. This and Bugs Bunny.

  87. I want to live at your house. My people won’t acknowledge my fun conversations.

    Sara recently posted Dora Disillusionment.

  88. I totally want to wear you but not in that actually remove your skin and and walk around with your titties over my shoulders as accessories kind of way.

    The other GOOD wear-you kind of way.

  89. 89
    Karen Sullivan

    I know the HR Pufenstuf song:
    HR Pufenstuff
    He’s your friend when things get rough
    HR Pufenstuff
    Can’t get a little cause you can’t get enough.

    Whatever that means, it was burned into my little brain somehow.

  90. Can’t believe I made the same classic error about the Hamburglar being a cannibal. Glad that’s not true. But seriously, the burger was the MAYOR? Has McDonalds been indulging in biting criticism of local government ALL THIS TIME AND WE DIDN’T NOTICE? These are deep questions…

    Imelda Evans recently posted Dream of Love.

  91. Victor is right about the humanity of clowns. Also, I am very happy that I never saw ads featuring The McNugget Buddies.

    Tragic Sandwich recently posted That Smells Wonderful.

  92. My hubby and I once had a conversation about how Grimace looks like something you’d buy at a skeezy sex shop and his name is what you would totally do if presented with a giant purple butt-plug….

  93. If I was drinking milk, I would’ve totally snorted it out of my nose while I was reading this….

  94. The sad thing is I remember all these characters, and was going to use my comment to correct your Mayor McCheese confusion with Officer Big Mac. Thank god for the internets, am I right?

    Oh, and “Clowns aren’t human” “agree to disagree”? For some reason that made me laugh out loud.

    Melonie recently posted Two Years Later.

  95. I love you guys.

  96. Hahaha the things I learn on here.

  97. But the real question is: How do Shamrock Shakes fit into the plot line? I NEED TO KNOW THIS.

    JD Bailey @ Honest Mom recently posted The coffee shop encounter that I can’t forget.

  98. That is honestly on par with my Facebook debate about the virtues of Red Vines vs. Twizzlers.

    Kristin recently posted Stop The Blogosphere; I Have To Get Off.

  99. Once, out with friends, we saw a huge Ronald McDonald balloon over a McDonalds. I asked about Grimace and wanted the “E: True Hollywood Story” about where he is now. There isn’t much acting work for a purple blob. Is he OK? Is he a recluse? Is he in rehab? Where did it all go so tragically wrong? (Celebrity often does)
    Consequently, my friends made me a T-shirt that has a picture of Grimace on it and underneath “Where’s Grimace?” I am still looking.

  100. Yeah…I thought he was just mumbling too. Robble….it changes everything…EVERYTHING!!

    Shannon recently posted Do Nothing.

  101. I love this post. It has answered so many of my unanswered questions about the McDonalds characters. You’re like a teacher about nonsense that we all want to know about.

    Adrienn recently posted Weekly wrap up March 10.

  102. I completely have a picture of me in the a Mayor McCheese Jail playground. I also remember that the little ride on rocking toys were the fry kids. I don’t think we have pictures of those though.

    Kristie C recently posted Science is Real!.

  103. I have a cat named Sundae. I will never look at her the same. Thanks a lot.

  104. And this is why you are so perfect for each other. Plus, I love Victor.

  105. 105
    Katie Lynn

    And now I’ve fallen down an (nostalgic) internet wormhole.

  106. OMG thank you for this. I was just talking with a friend about HR Pufnstuf a week or so ago. He couldn’t remember what it was. I used to love that show and still believe it gave me the equivalent of LSD flashbacks even when I had never done that (allegedly have done many other things however which may or may not have influenced my HR Pufnstuf nightmares).

    For all the fans out there: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obxfuFrUTzg
    God dang that’s creepy. Love it!

    Cubicle Views recently posted The toilet is calling.

  107. So kinda related, but not exactly so…..
    McDonald’s was founded by Richard “Dick” and Maurice “Mac” McDonald……..
    Only one of them had a menu item named after him…..the Big Mac. I wonder why they didn’t want to have a Big Dick on the menu??? :)

  108. And yet, no mention of the video game! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M.C._Kids

  109. 109
    over the hill mom

    I still have one of the McDonald land videos that they sold during the 90′s – they go on an adventure to Grimice Island. And you are right about Sundae- he is in it. My kids LOVED those videos- I wish I had all of them because they were quite entertaining- half cartoon, half regular costumed actors. You totally need to check it out.

  110. And that is why you two are together :)

  111. First time I’ve read-out-loud one of Jenny’s post to my kids. They sat enraptured. A proud momma moment.

    Lil recently posted Extra Credit.

  112. One of my college professors went to school with a guy who played Ronald McDonald. She said she wasn’t the least bit surprised when she heard about his clown gig.

    Dawnie recently posted Happy #KatieFisherDay.

  113. OH MY GOD, THIS IS GLORIOUS.

    Pretend Grown Up recently posted Can we please just get over it now?.

  114. Did you buy him the t-shirt? ehh… maybe for his birthday or Christmas.

  115. From now on, when people want to set me up on a date and they ask me what my “type” is, I’m going to direct them to this post and when they have finished reading it I will say “My type is someone I can have a conversation like that with…and they don’t run away screaming afterward.”. So thanks for that.

    The Suzzzz recently posted Start your day off right.

  116. I knew Pufnstuff was a money-grubber! I think there should be a McDonalds musical – kind of like Avenue Q, though, not for kids. You and Victor could totally write that.

    whatimeant2say recently posted I Vow to Never Embarrass My Daughter – at Least Not on Purpose.

  117. “Holy Shitsnacks” ??!! I love it ! Cannot wait to use that one at work tomorrow!

  118. Do you remember the whole campaign that had dancing talking trash cans signing, “Don’t forget to feed the wastebaskets.”. I could never figure out why they didn’t make the trash cans in the sores look like the ones in the commercial. That would have made so much sense. If you can make sense of large characterized fast food and related concepts.

  119. I always wondered why Grimace was well…a big purple scary thing. He was my least favorite of all the others. I liked Hamburglar the best really. I wonder if the one you like the most says something about you.

    T. A. Woods recently posted A Blogger’s Greatest Enemy: Guest Post.

  120. Thanks, now I want french fries.

    mediocremomof3severelyaveragekids recently posted Rainy Day Mess of the Day.

  121. 121
    Mary, Fairy Godmother

    So if the Big Mac is suppose to be their “premium” burger, why wasn’t the Big Mac Mayor instead of Mayor McCheese? Wouldn’t Big Mac be more of a mayoral figure than just a regular cheese burger? And is Mayor McCheese just a cheese burger or a quarter pounder?

  122. “Clowns aren’t human.” Score one for Victor!

    Also, who knew there was an Uncle O’Grimacey?!? Not me, that’s who. St. Patrick’s Day is five days away. St. Paddy’s pub crawl is four days away. I plan to spend both of these occasions paying homage to Grimace’s Irish uncle. May he RIP.

    Jennifer recently posted Envy is the religion of the mediocre..

  123. I agree with Victor, clowns aren’t human. They’re evil and will devour your soul. Haven’t you ever seen that Postal Service commercial with the clown doll? http://youtu.be/zwXdSH2Co78 It’s fucking creepy.

    Courtney recently posted And I will drink my fill..

  124. I love this post! It is totally a conversation I would have.

  125. Eight weeks ago, I might have fallen and struck my head leading to a concussion, memory loss and some other pretty serious soft tissue injuries. OR I might have been struck on the head by person or persons unknown. (Even though we live out in the middle of nowhere and it’s freezing cold here so nobody just wanders around outside). My husband calls this “the Hamburgler theory”. I swear.

  126. This sounds like discussions my husband and I have about pop culture icons. My kids just shake their heads in dismay.

  127. I always thought the”robble, robble” was the noise hamburglar made when he was out of breath.

  128. I feel like everyone needs to be able to also enjoy this:

    http://www.retrojunk.com/article/show/2024/mcdonalds-playland

  129. 129
    Gina Danger

    I thought Grimace was a taste bud. In fact yes, he is.

    Interestingly, spell check changed taste bud into a tartare bud, which made me picture raw Grimace on a cracker. The raw treat that tastes you back. Tell THAT to Victor, I dare you.

  130. My husband and I HAVE HAD THIS CONVERSATION. I thought Grimace was a purple hash brown and was mocked to tears. And he couldn’t explain the fry kids in any way I found acceptable.

  131. And I youtubed it, so now it’s even MORE true. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HH4vBJ2skq0

    Of course, I wasted (donated) several minutes of my life looking at various McDonaldland videos. It’s interesting to see how the characters evolved over the years. Many of them–like Hamburglar–get a serious makeover.

    LisaAR recently posted Making Mac and Cheese Out of Uranus.

  132. Seriously? No one noticed this???

    “Additional family were revealed in a McDonaldland VHS tape The Legend of Grimace Island: Grimace had an unnamed mom, an unnamed dad, a grandma named “Winky”, a great-great grandma named Jenny Grimace, and might have had a brother named “King John Bailey”, who was the king of all Grimaces. ”

    Could it be? Is our sweet Jenny related to Grimace and named after his great-great-Grandma?

  133. I’ve repressed Ronald McDonald and his goon squad…..back in the 70′s when I was a little kid I made my mom take me to see the “clown” and the other charaters. It was a hot sunny Southern Californian summer day. We stood in line for at least an hour to do the meet and greet tour. The Hamburgular thought he’d be funny when he snuck up on my and tried to grab a balloon out of my hand, not amused at all. Mayor McCheese tripped in his costume going up the steps to get on the platform and his head popped off scaring me and a couple hundred kids. But the worst of it all, Ronald McDonald completely ignored me and hit on my mom after standing hours in the hot sun. Bastards….after that I hated McDonalds…come to think of it I didn’t like watching HR Puffinstuff after that either.

    I didn’t remember any of this stuff until I read this blog. Funny how certain things can trigger an memory.

  134. Clowns most certainly are NOT human.

    Mary recently posted Los Barriles.

  135. 135
    mydogfartswhenshebarks!

    I never put much thought into the McDonald’s characters. Now the nightmares will start. Thanks. A Lot.

  136. It IS crazy how much thought you’ve given this, crazy good!

  137. This is the craziest thing….I *just* looked at that same Wikipedia page the other day! I’m so happy to know that I’m not the only one thinking about (and researching) this stuff!!

  138. Clowns are NOT human!!! Thank you for you support on this one, Victor!!!

    Devon recently posted Snowmaggedon arrives at our house, I react accordingly, by which I mean I pretty much sit on the couch the whole time.

  139. Although I appreciate and enjoyed this banter between the two of you (and am disturbed by how closely it resembles conversations I have with my husband), I would be remiss if I said I wasn’t at least a little disappointed you failed to mention one of my favorite characters: Captain Crook.

    What other fast food “restaurant” had a gang of characters that included a robber/burglar, clown guy, racist dog and a pirate? Was McDonaldland even on water? Why do I have a feeling it was landlocked?

    Captain Crook was one disturbing dude, while simultaneously being a copyright violation of Captain Hook. Perhaps that’s what made him so creepy.

    Lisa Newlin recently posted Saved by the Bell: Why Kelly Kapowski and I wouldn't have been friends in high school.

  140. Hopefully, McDonald’s will consider the old adage there’s no such thing as bad publicity. Before they involve the lawyers.

    Becky recently posted Imagine That.

  141. The dog should eat the one dressed as a hamburger as the Hamburgler tries to steal him.
    And then the purple shake spooges all over everything.
    Did I just take that too far?

    Melissa recently posted Harlem Shake Save The Date.

  142. This is exactly the kind of conversations my 67 yr old mother and my 18 and 16 yr old daughters and I talk about! Shit! I should take up writing!!! ;0) Is there a blog by crazy homeschooling mom, first time farmer, on an urban farm with 4 kids and a bunch of crazy animals yet? I would call it “Crazy shit my turkeys do to my dog” blog or “Dumb shit my farm makes me do” blog. BTW, My Husband is the Abbott to my Costello too!!! You rock Jenny!

  143. Mwahahaha! That was sinisterly funny! And strange.

    Momma Fargo recently posted Bobb-O and the Missing Balls.

  144. This is way too glorious to be true.

    Emelie recently posted A Brief Announcement..

  145. Muahahaha, she said, with an Evil Grimace.

    Liesl recently posted Into the wild blue yonder.

  146. Wow. Who knew McDonalds even had a canon? I mean, their hamburgers aren’t even made of beef.

    Dana the Biped recently posted Eat This: Black Dog Smoke and Ale House.

  147. My robble brings all the boys to the yard

    Kelly @ In the Mom Light Blog recently posted 7 Reasons NOT to Get a Dog if You Have (or ever want to have) a Baby.

  148. Hilarious! When I was a kid, I told my mom I had a dream about a burglar. She asked how I knew it was a burglar, and I said, “He had burglar shoes on.” (A la Hamburglar…remember those big shoes?!)

  149. My sister and I have had a lifelong debate about what the heck Grimace is. I maintain that he is a milkshake out of the cup. Most of our debate occurred before there were internets, Soni am sticking with my argument.

  150. Wow, I guess I can learn something new everyday!

  151. All points for this round to Victor. Clowns are definitely not human.

  152. I need to find me a dude like this. F’reals.

  153. Lmfao @ Grimace being “a stain”! Lmaoooooo

  154. I thought grimace was supposed to be a giant taste bud?

  155. Hmmm, Victor is getting to be pretty awesome for a Republican … I think you’re wearing him down. Keep up the good work!

  156. I liked Grimace better when I thought he was a stain.

    Adrasteia recently posted The aftermath of being hit with a truck.

  157. Great conversation. reminds me of a late night sleep over Q & A with friends. Kay, so you should be paid by McD’s. and I’m astounded at how many comments this has generated! Including me…

    lisa thomson recently posted You’re Sexy and You Know It.

  158. I thought Grimace was from the taste. Except for Shamrock Shakes, which I am secretly joining MSA for. Milkshakes Anonymous. But I digress. And kudos to Victor for recognizing that clowns are not now nor ever shall be human.

  159. 160
    Nichole Thornton

    Thank you for making me happy.

  160. I didn’t know any of this…Thanks for the McD’s education!

  161. OMG…that is freakin hysterical!!!

  162. This a pure fucking gold and I’m glad I got on the internet today.

    xo Ashley
    thetiniestfirecracker.com

  163. You two have access to the best drugs it would seem.

  164. Ok, I’ve never actually seen this band live but have heard stories so it may be total fiction except for this:

    Apparently they arrive to shows in their white van with blacked out windows in full costume. Totally forgot about them until this post.

  165. I almost hate myself, but I not only had several birthday parties at McDonald’s as a child, but I had a Ronald McDonald doll and a Grimace doll and I still couldn’t tell you what Grimace is. (Thee Ronald doll had a whistle and when you put it in his mouth and squeezed his stomach he blew the whistle. It would probably be worth a small fortune now. Unless I hallucinated the entire thing – which is possible.)

    Also Psych: Shawn and Gus have a big discussion about Grimace and Gus keeps insisting that “he’s a brother” while Shawn is convinced that he is a purple amoeba. Somehow this lead to my husband giving my tortoise the middle name Grimace… I don’t even know. I’m okay with it though, he looks like he’s grimacing all the time. It’s frustrating because I would really like him to be happy and I feel like I’ll never know, I’m just going to spend the next 75 years trying to please him and having him frown at me. (We probably should have named him after my mother.)

    Patti recently posted The Tweeter and The BookFace.

  166. did you notice on the wikipedia page that there was an Uncle O’Grimacey for when they were promoting shamrock shakes?

  167. 168
    OutoftheBoxBA

    I totally played in one of those play lands- I distinctly remember the sheriff Big Mac jail thing that is pictured in the wiki article. Not sure if I happy to be remembering this, or mildly disturbed…

  168. Please make a shirt that says King of All Grimaces :D I have a friend who is like, six foot four and big and he wears this Awful-Mazing purple shirt, and I’ve called him Grimace since we met. I would LOVE to get a shirt like that for him :D

  169. Grimace lost two of his arms. HOW MANY DID HE HAVE LEFT? GODDAMN FREAK.

    Arnebya recently posted What Do You Remember From Kindergarten?.

  170. And what does it say about me that I was reading along and hit the part with Mayor McCheese and wanted to say to Victor, “No, that was Officer Big Mac,” only a few paragraphs later you’d found that on the Internet… but I ALREADY KNEW IT.

    I am terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.

  171. Jen you were both right about the Hamburglar according to Wikipedia: he “spoke in gibberish which was often translated by Captain Crook. He was revised in 1985, when his look changed … His previously-unintelligible muttering was now the familiar “robble robble”. ” He didn’t “roble” til the mid-eighties. I so love reading the conversations between you and Victor!

  172. This interaction (and the shirt it spawned) is further proof why you two are together. ?

  173. If you want to further mess up your mind, google “Ranald Macdonald.” He was reportedly the first person to teach English in Japan. Born in Astoria, Oregon in 1824.
    I only know this because I used to live in Astoria, OR, and there is a display for him at the museum there. Of course, I have long wondered if there was a connection between Ranald and Ronald. There almost has to be, don’t ya think? Ponder that!

    DogsDontPurr recently posted Shoulder Pads for the Feet.

  174. Does no one recall the Mac Tonight character? That guy was odd. I guess it was an attempt to move off the sketchy prison records of the other characters. Here’s a sample of that. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaKqq5H_780

    Also, I found this bit of creepy for you all. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5D6_6sSM-8

    Nightmare fuel.

  175. wikipedia is my god.

  176. I didn’t know any of this and I WORKED at McDonald’s.

    To be fair, I only worked there for 3 months. My friend and I were “laid off” after my supervisor found out we were calling random numbers and telling people they’d won happy meals for a year.
    We’d always say “Just ask for the manager and tell him Ronald sent you.”

    (Er, now that I think about it, you probably had to be there. And also 15.)

    ps. I always thought he was grimacing because he had no shoulders…?

    bschooled recently posted Maid To Order (Part I of a II Part Love Story).

  177. Criminals and clowns that violate your personal space? This is why I preferred A&W. I mean Root Bear was kinda laid back and groovy; Papa seemed affable enough. Okay, Junior might have been a little off, but whatever. It wasn’t threatening.

    Also, I went to the link on comment 128. Is it just me or does the Filet O’Fish bouncy thing look like he’s dangling a big ole cigarette out of his bun? Just me?

  178. why are there no pictures on this wikipage?!?? Someone needs to get on this!

  179. You are very lucky that you have found that someone who actually has a full blown serious conversation with you about the muppets/puppets at McDonalds.

    mothers little hleper recently posted the red coat.

  180. Have I been living under a rock? Or in another dimension? Or in Belgium for apparently way too long? It took me half a day to find out who all these fictive (yes! that was the real shocker!!) characters were!

    debby recently posted Saturday Night Fever..

  181. This has nothing to do with your post I’m afraid but a comment seems the best way to share this pic of a Dr Who corgi (less excited about the other ones). http://www.hkfashiongeek.com/2013/03/the-many-breeds-of-corgis.html

  182. I think I’ve blocked most of the characters out after they blew up the Jack in the Box Clown.

    (this “Jack” guy is totally an impostor)

  183. I fucking love you guys.

    Emma recently posted Photo.

  184. I had a reoccurring dream as a child that the Incredible Hulk was on the loose and Grimace would run down a flight of stairs to warn me.

    Punky Coletta recently posted And now I feel really deep..

  185. Love love love you guys!!!

  186. When I was a little girl I had a Ronald McDonald doll, it was more like a stuffed pillow than a “real” doll. Anyway, I loved that thing. Our boxer Flip ate it one day leaving only a bit of stuffing. The indignity of Ronald being pooped out, just like the balloons our dog would also eat. Only less colorful.

  187. its like the grimms fairy tales of fast food.

  188. I keep reading these conversations to my husband, but he doesn’t believe Victor exists. I told him you’ve posted video of Victor, but he contends that there is also video of men landing on the moon and THAT’s obviously fake. He also says that no one names people “Victor” so OBVIOUSLY you’re really having imaginary conversations with your German Shepherd puppy.

    In other words, I have just as bizarre conversations with MY husband as you do. I just don’t write as well.

  189. I never knew that Grimace was supposed to be a shake!

    And seriously, it doesn’t make sense for the Hamburglar to be a robber. Hello!! His name is HamBURGLAR.

    Karen Peterson recently posted It's not the destination, it's the journey. Or something..

  190. Wow! The things you bring to mind– a poem I wrote (c.1970):
    With Pickles and Ketchup

    “You think you’re a person,”
    he said looking at me hungrily,
    “but you’re really a hamburger
    (What a dinner!)
    You escaped from the hamburger plant
    By changing into human form.”
    He licked his chops.

  191. Totally with Victor, clowns are NOT human. Too creepy. Actually, that hamburgler was pretty creepy too, not sure he counts as human either.

    Shawn recently posted Is it too much to ask? Yes, yes it is..

  192. 1. Clowns are NOT human.
    2. I had weird half-remembered childhood memories of McDonald’s playground while reading this.
    3. This is seriously freaky stuff.
    4. People obviously did a lot of drugs back then.

  193. ‘Botox Burger King’

    Cathy recently posted 365 Poems: Daylight Savings Time.

  194. 195
    EvylFashionista

    Please tell me you’ve seen this -

    http://cheezburger.com/3224580352#comments

  195. Victor is one of my favourite characters on the internet.

  196. Third best Bloggess post ever. First, obviously Beyonce. Second, Copernicus.

    Alison from Everything I Need to Know, I Learned from Scottish Folk Music recently posted Oh, so that explains it....

  197. I love you. And man do I wish I still had my McDonaldland glasses! I can almost feel how they felt in my hand, all hot from our olive green dishwasher.

    May need to purchase these (for the kids, of course). http://www.etsy.com/listing/112129466/1977-mcdonaldland-action-series-glasses

    Speaking of which, the Filet-O-Fish guy? What a sucky role that dude had! Funnily though, I remember him.

    Deirdre recently posted This Is Not Normal.

  198. Oh my god. It’s insane how perfect you guys are for each other…

    Also, these are the best kinds of conversations… and it cleared some childhood confusions up for me…

    Mishfish13 recently posted Say What? Protein Powders?.

  199. Not two weeks ago I was looking up the old McDonald land gang – love seeing that other people think about this stuff too!

    Also, for only $800 plus the cost of transport, I could realize my childhood dream of having an Apple Pie tree in my backyard. Any chance you want to do another one of your dead pony fundraisers and help a girl out?? We can have part ownership – time share of a tree.

    http://harrah-ok.hoodbiz.org/73045/art-antiques/1970-mcdonalds-apple-pie-tree_20282738.html

  200. I forgot. Or maybe I blocked it from memory. But during a trip to West End Salvage in Des Moines, Iowa I found a Ronald McDonald head. JUST HIS HEAD. The photo is found at the link about halfway down.

    http://www.thedawnieproject.com/2011/10/wordless-wednesday-west-end.html

  201. In addition to the shirt you made for him, I think he needs this one. http://shirtoid.com/28290/robble-robble-hamburglar/

  202. McPeyton Place?

  203. Dude, dude, I remember Grimace’s IRISH UNCLE from when I was a kid. I always thought that was a nightmare/dream I had, but it turns out that Wikipedia had that dream too.

    Erica recently posted Stupefy!.

  204. This all brings back how intensely I hated Birdie the Early Bird when I was a kid. That chick could not do ANYTHING right.

    Christian recently posted What they are is like a mosaic.

  205. Years ago, I told my sister that Grimace used to be called Gristle because that’s what he was made of; a big, shiny, purple-ey piece of gristle. Later, their marketing department thought it was a bad idea to focus on the less pleasant parts of the animals that make it into the food, so they changed his name to Grimace because that’s the face you make when you bite into a McNugget and get a piece of gristle.

  206. What’s Mayor McCheese?

    Also, thank you for explaining part of my childhood to me. I never got any of that either.

    Rachel recently posted OhMyGosh Emily.

  207. 208
    Krystine McCants

    You should totally make the “M” in your King of all Grimaces” t-shirt a squiggly line-shaped M, so it looks like the mouth of a cartoon character grimacing. :D

  208. This might be my favorite Jenny/Victor convo yet.

    I had some McD’s memorabilia back in the day. I also remember playing at their character-themed playground. Officer Big Mac was a cage of some sort that kids would climb into and accidentally get stuck. Hilariously creepy.

  209. I have to agree with Victor, clowns definitely aren’t human.

    Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous recently posted There's nothing louder than an outraged possum....

  210. 211
    Jennifer Masterson

    I had no idea that “robble robble” was him saying he was going to rob you of burgers! What a revelation!

  211. I thought I knew everything there was to know about McDonald’s.

    I was so wrong.

    Fuckurgle.

    HogsAteMySister recently posted My Birthday List.

  212. McDonald’s is fucked up! When I was little I loved Happy Meals; my Dad would tell me that Ronald stepped on the hamburgers with his big shoes and that’s why they were so flat.

  213. Sundae is one creepy-ass looking dog. But apparently you can buy the costume for $495. Seems right up your alley. :)

    http://www.propstore.com/products.htm?movieId=1368&viewMode=2&pageNum=1

  214. Sooo…1st: you make my day, my whole day, everyday! 2nd: thank you for all the stupid and hilarious posts!! But I “stumbled” across a page yesterday that is fantabulous for many reasons! http://www.etsy.com/listing/37429642/pussy-pendant-vagina-necklace-vulva
    It says SOLD!! Read the entire description!! I mean really…seriously??

  215. That is totally my husband and I.

  216. Gawd you are so smart Jenni. I’m glad you’re not my sister because if you were, our mom or dad (we’d probably have one or the other be different) would have always been saying, “Why can’t you be smart like Jenni?”

    You put an s on the grimace so you wouldn’t get sued like the Mr. PufnStuf sued Rondal in McDonaldland and you did not use a picture. Very smart.

    I want to be more like you, and less like me right now because I thought you were the one explaining to Victor what robble-robble meant.

  217. I was cracking up reading this, as I remembered one of my favorite gems from The Onion. It took me a while to find it:

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/mcdonalds-drops-hammurderer-character-from-adverti,127/?ref=auto

  218. I learn so much from your blog. Like I didn’t remember Ronald had a dog. If you and Victor hosted a round table like Dorothy Parker’s Algonquin Round Table, the conversations would be amazing.

    Well, the conversations are already amazing. But if you added Anne and Wil Wheaton and Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer, they would be epic.

    Sue recently posted The lost rings.

  219. freaking hilarious…..I’m crying with laughter here in NC, with the occasional grimace

  220. For what I’m assuming is the 956971357 time, I’m nominating you for the Versatile Blogger Award. Not that I’ve nominated you all those times. Although you have made me cry at least that many tears from laughter.

    Jenn recently posted Cheesy Shrimp Rice.

  221. I’m pretty sure that was the funniest conversation ever had between two people. My business partner and I read it out loud like a script and we were both laughing so hard we were crying. Thank you for making this Wednesday a little more bearable. Or is it barable? I suck at spelling.

  222. Ronald Mc Donald and the Burger King King should hold hands and jump off a very high cliff with rocks at the bottom.

    Bodaciousboomer recently posted My name is not Grace.

  223. 227
    Veronica from SD

    Have you ever seen this portrait of the Last Supper, with Ronald McDonald as Jesus:

    http://www.myspace.com/agnosticanarch/photos/25667912#%7B%22ImageId%22%3A25667912%7D

  224. my day will now be spent trying to find a King of All Grimaces shirt

    Lesley recently posted puppy fever.

  225. As someone who eats Happy Meals for her main meal, I’m on your side.

    In unrelated news, Jenny you were just in STL doing a book signing (where I’m from) and I was unable to meet you. You inspired me to write my own blog. It’s filled with inappropriateness, laughter, sarcasm and scandal….my life. I entered myself into this Live Your Life campaign American Eagle is doing. It’s encouraging young adults to…well…live their life. Not being afraid of who they are or what they like to do. I was terrified to blog but after seeing you do it, I thought what the hell. If no one reads it, at least it was fun to write. So I’d like to pay my Jenny Lawson experience forward and encourage others to do the same.

    I am also a Breast Cancer Awareness volunteer designer and advocate. I’d also like to use this platform to educate young woman on early detection, share my success stories as well as others and inspire my generation. You don’t have to vote, I just wanted you to know how you’ve changed my life. If you’d like to vote, the direct link is posted on my blog post from today and below. THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO!!

    https://live.ae.com/#/entries/5862

    Ellen recently posted Sappy for 5 Seconds.

  226. As many have no doubt said of The Tiger and me, “Thank God these two found each other.”

  227. 231
    Cheryl Abraham (Bastet)

    I can TOTALLY see my husband and I having this conversation… only we’re older so it would sound a whole lot more crabby. I totally use my smart phone to prove a point but I HATE it when I’m wrong and he’s right, but he does wear a smug face better than I do.

  228. From now on whenever I steal food off of my husband’s plate — which happens often because he generally orders something delicious like steak and I order something misguided like a vegan salad — I am going to refer to it as robbling. As in: “I totally did not just robble from you. I don’t know what you are talking about. You cannot just accuse people of robbling willy nilly!” (while I attempt to hide a large piece of steak in the back of my mouth)

    PinotNinja recently posted Today’s Traumatic Near-Death Experience.

  229. Scary, but so sounds like a conversation I could have had with my own husband!!!

  230. See, I was always confused about Grimace too. You could easily see what each character represented, except him! So we were in a McDonalds in a small nearby town, about 13 years ago, and I asked the workers what he represented. None of them could figure it out. SO, they called the manager. HE said, he represented Vegetables…..
    Damn small town manager…he knows NOTHING!!!

  231. You are truly the most perfect couple ever.

    Kp recently posted Mac Does Something Awesome - Episode 6: Nose-Eye Coordination.

  232. 236
    Beanerjean

    I don’t know if you’re aware of this already (prolly, cuz you’re the awesomest), but there used to be movies – my kids watched them endlessly when they were younger (early 2000s). I endured at least one episode of “The Wacky Adventures of Ronald McDonald” on a daily basis…..
    internet-ly proof:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wacky_Adventures_of_Ronald_McDonald

  233. This is so a conversation that I’d have. I think I might love you in a totally safe, non-stalkerish way for having it before me. Now I’m off to torture the Taller Half with TMZ for Puppets. Which should totally be a real tv show.

  234. I’ve had many of these conversations in the car with my husband…That’s why he refuses to ride anywhere with me now.

    Jaimie Dubuque recently posted You dropped a bomb on me, baby.

  235. I agree with Victor: Clowns are not humans. They are terrifying beasts.

    Robyn Webb recently posted I'm Still Alive. I Think. We'll See For How Long..

  236. And now I have just spent the last half hour reading up on McDonaldland. I had no.idea how interested I was. I also noticed the Wikipedia page was just updated yesterday. Hmmm??? Making.me wonder about some of those details.

  237. Tottally off topic but I read this and thought of you… its a guy that builds decaying model houses.

    http://weburbanist.com/2013/03/13/lego-abandonments-home-made-model-haunted-houses/

  238. I always just assumed Grimace was Ronald’s autistic friend…

    Holyshitsnacks! I just looked up H.R. Pufnstuf knowing that it was a TV show in the ’60′s, but not really knowing what it is. I swear to God, this is exactly what my nightmares are made of.
    Now it’s 10pm and I have to go to bed soon, but I’m going to have to check my closet and under my bed for H.R. Pufnstuf.

  239. The reason you think the Hamburglar was made out of hamburgers, is probably because in this commercial he uses magic powers to turn himself INTO a hamburger. Turns out his animated hamburger head is one of many unsavory images in this series of commercials, and, given your proclivity for such, it probably stuck with you.

  240. Damnit!!! Now I want a burger from McD’s!!!!
    Thanks!

    Jason
    The Cheeky Daddy

    Jason recently posted Loosing Your First Tooth.

  241. where is your reality show deal??

    Carrie recently posted Chronically Awesome Products.

  242. 246
    Lady Penelope

    All this post proves is I was ROBBED of my childhood by parents who “didn’t believe” in taking their kids to McDonalds. I am 31 and now unable to take part in an internet blog comment section with any great insight or memory to share. Thanks parents.

  243. Maybe he was actually saying “burdle burdle”? Or maybe if you time traveled back to when the commercials were made, you could introduce him to that word and he would use it?

    MILF Runner recently posted Spank me, I've been a bad blogger..

  244. This is seriously something that makes me so happy to read. I have a vague memory of the characters, but now I understand why I have always had a creepy vibe from McDonalds.

    Jess recently posted Stop Comparing Yourself To Everyone... A Note to Myself.

  245. I totally remember the birthday parties and most of the playgroud equiment in those old pictures. I even remember the pirate, even though I had no idea who he was supposed to be. But then again, I thought Grimace was supposed to be a grape popsicle.

    Also, am I just perverted, or does the Hamburglar look like he’s a flasher in that long coat he uses to hide his stolen burgers?

  246. I googled “robble” and spotted two drastically differering urbandictionary definitions…none of which I can click on because it’s behind the corporate firewall. DRAT reading on coffeebreak….so much fun until I hit a wall.

    maryhs recently posted A good weekend.

  247. OMG, my husband and I would sooooo have this same conversation!

  248. I’m always confusing Ronald McDonald with Bozo the Clown. Both are equally creepy. No wonder the dog was depressed.

    wheresmyweasel recently posted In case you didn’t know…chewing cat hair is relaxing!.

  249. This is fantastic.

    And makes me want a milkshake.

  250. The most random deep conversation is probably the best way to describe this post.

  251. I KNEW Grimace was evil. I thought sexual predator, though.

    When I Blink recently posted How to Live the J. Crew Life: 6 Easy Ways.

  252. I’m a bit in love with this conversation. I hope you guys never change :) x

    Nat recently posted Points of View.

  253. This was absolutely epic and I loved every single bit of it. The two of you need your own reality show.

    Keaven recently posted Medicated.

  254. Is it wrong that I really need a happy meal right now?

    NATurally Inappropriate recently posted Fuck you, Dr. G.

  255. I’m pretty traumatized by this Hamburglar revelation.

    Susan recently posted There Will be Blood.

  256. 260
    Stephanie F

    This is amazing. I enjoyed every second.

  257. Picture of Victor in T-shirt please!

  258. I think the moral of this story is that all of the TV shows and ads from our childhoods screwed us up even more than anyone ever thought.

  259. My dad knows a man whose name- his actual name!- is Ronald McDonald. He runs a funeral parlor.

  260. Clowns aren’t human.

  261. Based off my memory of your past blog posts, I’m voting the strangest to be the one about a meth lab that you both had in a gas station while wearing pajamas.

  262. Finally, so many of my questions answered!

  263. 267
    lucky maria

    After visiting Wikipedia to confirm that what you wrote was shockingly true [I don't know why I'm surprised by that, I read your book.], I am most disturbed by the number of characters who were invented to steal things. The Fry Guys, Hamburgler, Grimace etc. they all just showed up to steal your food. Even the most recent Griddle characters were just there to make off with your McGriddle. [Ok, I lied. The most disturbing thing is the detail in that particular Wikipedia entry. The internet is an amazing place.]

  264. Remember the old playscapes with the Big Mac jail? I always ended up in there. Alone.

    Hip-Baby Mama recently posted Warts, Jewels and Faerie Houses.

  265. Just had to tell you that since reading this, I’ve been walking around saying “Robble, Robble” to myself for the past couple of days…

  266. I always knew he was saying “Robble Robble” but I still say Victor was wrong and it’s not a verb. How can it be a verb???

    Amelia Jax recently posted Shame! Confusion! More Masturbation! aka It wasn't all fun in the sun.

  267. Simply awesome.

    Teeny Bikini recently posted Too Much Nipple.

  268. Now I know more than I ever wanted to know about Ronald McDonald and his friends.
    Thank you! Your topic of conversation has put a smile on my face.

  269. 273
    Catrina_woman

    As always great conversation! I think the most amazing thing is that someone actually took the time to write a detailed article on Wikipedia about McDonaldland. I could have never done that without laughing myself sick or without the aid of some decent controlled substances. Or both. Yeah both.

  270. It should def have a picture of Grimace on it.
    I used to want to marry him when I was a kid.
    No, really.

  271. I can’t believe it has taken me all these years to be fully enlightened on the McDonald’s ‘family’ Robble Robble…

    Luci - mother.wife.me recently posted Ditching the apostrophe on street signs.

  272. Ho about a t shirt that says “robble robble”?

  273. Wow… I now feel I’ve lived an incredibly sheltered life… I had never even heard of the Hamburglar! How did I not know there was this whole shady McDonalds-world filled with dodgy characters and burger faced people?

    Amelia recently posted Gay (why homosexuals shouldn't raise their voice).

  274. Fun Fact: the White House (yes, THAT White House) is at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. NW. At 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. SE, you’ll find a McDonalds. Now, HERE’s the creepy part: from 1980 -1988, both the United States and McDonalds dominated the free world; they both were shining pillars of capitalism during the depths of the Cold War; and they were both ruled by a clown named Ronald. So, coincidence about that OTHER building at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. SE? I think not.

    Adjunct Proff recently posted St. Patrick was a Britt.

  275. Last night’s signing got me over my blogging slump. I thought you might enjoy reading my account of the Dayton, Ohio signing.

    Darykk recently posted Jenny Lawson is hippopotamusing AMAZING.

  276. I love this post and it made me laugh but it bothers me that we never found out what your husband was trying to say before the conversation got going. Can you tell us in another post? Please? Thanks!

  277. So I read all this and then thought, “What about that creepy piano guy with a moon for a head? And why did he wear sunglasses? Were they making fun of Ray Charles? ” luckily, that wiki entry threw me a bone and Mac Tonight is still just as creepy/suave as I remember! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mac_Tonight

    THEN, it said he got a “CGI Makeover” and had a new commercial in 2007. YouTube came through for me this time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOlLIP9-vlQ

    Yep. Still creepy as fuck. And apparently too good for the piano now, unlike the commercials I remember from my childhood: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Diu2qMYYL3c

    Kelsey recently posted Is Changing Your Business Name a Terrible Idea?.

  278. You’re welcome.

    Megan recently posted summertime | and the livin' is easy.

  279. I have found what happened to Mayor McCheese. He’s been reduced to going around the Sci-fi Convention circuit. He was spotted at Dragon*Con in Atlanta, 2006.

    mayor mccheese

  280. My son (9) finally made it to the “Rock n Roll McDonalds” in Chicago (one of his lofty goals, I guess – we happen to live in a near suburb of Chicago) and had nightmares (for real) following his trip due to a picture he saw of Willard Scott ( Smucker’s Jar guy) dressed as Ronald McDonald. Can’t really blame him.
    BTW, I’ve hated clowns for years. Worse yet, midget clowns. Couldn’t stand Oompa Loompas. Is it just me?

  281. So true – so true. The hubby & I have conversations like this all the time. INcluding the one where I shared that I didn’t know the Pentagon WAS PENTAGON SHAPED! I thought it was just a cool kick – ass name …”THE PENTAGON”…..

    Plus, i had a Ronald McDonald doll as a very, very small child that some sadistic fuck gave to me. (Hence why my mother is evil incarnate –who lets a person give their child a creep, murdering RONALD MCDONALD DOLL? )
    I hated that thing & tried to destroy it every way I could.

  282. I love this conversation. First of all, HAH. Second, Victor rarely gets to play anything but the straight man in these posts; I love that he obsesses over the Hamburgler. Truly a match made in heaven.

    Deborah Lipp recently posted The Walking Dead Season Finale—Episode 3.16: “Welcome to the Tombs”.

  283. 4 arms?! I had to know!

    Tiffany recently posted What to do if you have a spider in your car:.

  284. Jen.. it’s been awhile.. but damnit, I have recurring nightmares since I was a child about evil Grimace and evil Ronald.. complete with fangs.. and you go and post this?!? Thanks.. Shall we hang out during my bout of insomnia that this will induce?

    Thanks! :-)

    Love ya!

    K

  285. Love the post and your site!

  286. When I was a kid I thought that Grimace’s name was Gristle, I think because McNuggets weren’t that great in the 80′s.

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