EEEEEEEE.
That is the sound of a hamster being squeezed too tightly by a three-year-old. It is also the sound I’m making after finding out that your tremendous support of the paperback version of my book (which came out last week) is now #5 on the NYT paperback list. I am so incredibly lucky to have such an amazing community behind me who is willing to buy a book all over again just so they can read the bonus chapter. Also, I have lots of great tour stories to tell you when the tour is finally over (Come see me?) but for now let me just say that the greatest part about touring is watching nervous people creep in alone but leave as groups of new friends. I am so lucky to be a part of your bizarre tribe.

And to thank you a tiny bit for all of your bad-assness I’m giving away five autographed copies of the new book this week. And if you already have one you can just sell it on eBay, or use it as a coaster, or give it to your newest friend to test how easily offended they are. Just leave a comment and I’ll pick people before I leave again for the next leg of the tour.
PS. For real. Thank you. We did this together.
Pick me! xoxo
You deserve all of it, you really do! 🙂
I want a copy so bad!
Book! Need! Already own but must have signed copy!!!
I am going to enter that giveaway because I desperately want another copy of your book and I don’t give a toss that I have two already.
Congratulations! You absolutely deserve this success, and I’m glad it’s coming to you. Enjoy!
Congrats! Wooo hooo 🙂
A signed copy would be amazing – I just have the kindle version…not “just”…just…AHHH
Anyway, the book is awesome, you’re awesome, and you’ve earned all of this!
Aww, I’m so happy for you. Is this new bonus chapter going to be in the Kindle version too?
You are so awesome! I wish you were coming to Columbus, Ohio
When I read your book (ebook version, I don’t have a paper copy!!), I would excitedly tell my husband everything that happened. I just couldn’t keep the hilarity to myself. Eventually he told me to stop because he wanted to read it when I was done!
i admit to being one of the cheap bastards who read the bonus chapter in the store and didn’t buy a second copy of your book.
you may all now shame me.
Weird attracts weird, but it’s a good weird. I’m just waiting for my next paycheck to run out and get the new book.
Best tribe ever!
You deserve it! Wonderful book. It make me laugh and cry 🙂 You’re a beautiful writer, Jenny.
So, I’m a horrible person, I don’t even own a copy yet :/
That is awesome – congrats!
Congrats!!!! I can just imagine you making that sound too.
As for the giveaway…. I reallllllly want a signed copy because I want to read that extra chapter…… gah! I must read it!
That is a beautiful sea of people. And you brought them all together. Wow.
I’m impressed at the number of guys in the audience! They looked like they had their heads on straight, but it’s hard to tell. Abd what are the chances of the first comment winning? But I’m an optimist. Enjoy the fandoration!
I haven’t been able to find a copy in Australia and I’ll understand if you don’t want to post one to me all the way down here but I would LOVE to get a copy! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?
the bf thinks two copies of the same book is silly. help me prove him wrong. besides – he laughed just as hard as i did when i read him some excerpts!
Mmm… new version…
So wish I could be there to see you. Well done you!!
I loved your book but I had the E-Book version. Congratulations, you deserve it and so much more for bring laughter in the world.
Your book is so awesome….I loved listening to it!
I can’t wait to read your new book. Please pick me!
You deserve it, Jenny.
Your book is amazing and REAL. Plus, DAMN hilarious. 😉
I’d love a copy of the paperback so I can read the new chapter.
I’m so envious of everyone who gets to come see you! I wish I lived closer to where you tour (or that you’d come tour in Canada…!)
Oh well, I’m used to living vicariously through others!
Congrats! You are AWESOME and deserve it!
I hope I win cuz I couldn’t figure out how to get the kindle version autographed–especially since I don’t live close to ANY of the places you are visiting! 🙁
Would loved a signed copy of the BEST BOOK EVER!!!!!
All the happy faces 😀
wow. i totally need a new coaster. however did you know?
I want a copy! I don’t own your book yet, I couldn’t afford it when you came into Denver, but I did see you speak!
YAY! Congrats.
Dying to read the new chapter!
Congrats! You are awesome!
Woohoo!! Me, me, me!
EEEEEEEE I want an autographed copy of your awesome book!
Pick me! I really want your book. Was gonna buy it today but it was sold out
Congratulations …. I’m so happy for you!
Loved the book but being poor means I checked it out from the library 🙂 xoxo Have a great tour!
A whole new chapter? Holy smokes, I sure hope you pick me!
MEEEEE! Please. <3
I’ll take it! You can just give it to me when I see you in KC next week;)
That’s me! Waaaaaay in the back. 🙂
Congrats! You are an inspiration…and a bad influence. And have a sailor’s mouth. But that is why we love ya!
Ooh…I want one!
Still sad that you aren’t coming to Boston 🙁
Happy that the book is doing well 🙂
Would love to have the paperback to get the extra chapter!!!
It’s my time… I have a friend who just had a mastectomy and this would be a great pressie… X’ed fingers for me….
Woo, wanted to see you in Chicago, but no money for gas! Pick me for the drawing please!
I just bought the audio book – which is Amazing! But I would LOVE an autographed book 🙂 I missed your St.Louis signing because I moved to Chicago the week before. Too bad your signing wasn’t a week earlier!
Dont pick me. (but do)
Insert interesting, attention-grabbing comment here. My baby is teething, and I’m living on, oh, ZERO SLEEP. I need a paperback copy so that I can re-read your book, and have some sunshine in my life. Or, at least, some laughter.
I sadly missed you on your last tour when you came to Seattle, but I’d love a copy of the paperback. Congratulations on your success!
Wish I could see you in in person but I would do with a paperback instead
Congratulations!
I would LOVE a signed copy to go with my digital copy! Wish you were going to be near me. 🙁
Gosh, good work!
I’m sad you aren’t able to do a book your in Sydney, and I’m too broke to follow you around on your US tour.
Life is too difficult.
🙂
Awesome! Congrats I would love one 🙂
You’re awesome and deserve the top spot! Congrats for #5
Pick me! Pick me! Pick me! I want to complete the Let’s Pretend This Never Happened trifecta! I own the hardcover and the ebook. 🙂
Also please consider touring in Canada because we love you here too!!
ooh pick me! i’d loooove an autographed copy!
Congratulations! I need to read me that extra chapter. Gonna need to head to the book store…
I would buy this book for the cover alone…. but then, that would be judging, wouldn’t it?
I would love to win. It’s as close as I would get to you ever coming to my neck of the woods in Canada.
Pick me! I met you in Miami and you told me not to divorce my husband even if he doesn’t get me a giant metal chicken. I’m also an active member of Allie Brosh’s forum, which I totally think you should join and come play with us!
I think the new chapter will be worth buying the book again.
I don’t have a copy and I would love one signed!
Yay!
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Me!
I have the hardbound version already, but OOOH!
Ooohhh…hope I win 🙂
I would love to have a copy of your book. I wish I could come to a signing…
OOH. Signed! I would like a copy. 😀 If I don’t, I will go ahead and buy it. IF I HAVE TO GOSH.
I’d read the new chapter carefully so it will look new when I give it my (unoffendable–usually a very good thing) dear friend Ali.
Congratulations! Can’t wait to read it. And thanks for all you do for all of us by sharing your story!!
Jenny, you are an inspiration to us all, or to most of us, or maybe just some of us. Anyhow, to me. Congratulations. (And I’d love an autographed copy of the book. Seriously, I’d cherish it.)
Love your writing, your book, and your attitude. Congratulations on all your success!
(And get your butt up to Canada, would you? I promise there’s more to the country than Toronto! ;))
awesome! throwing my hat in the ring now 🙂
Um, I actually do use reactions to the Beyonce post to judge people I send it to (and whether they laugh when I occasionally post “Knock, knock, motherfucker” on facebook). It’s amazing how proud I am of someone I don’t actually know, but I am of you. Immensely. 🙂
I love people who smell like cupcakes and magnificence. I’ve found a lot of just cupcakes, and a few magnificents, but it’s especially rewarding (and unusual) to find a combination of the two. All the best to you! 🙂
I would LOVE to own a copy of your paperback book. My husband and I love relating to you and Victor!! Congratuations Jenny!
Congratulations! I am new to your Blog and enjoying it. You crack me up!
PS: I’d love a copy! 😉
You rule Jenny. I would see you if you came to Minnesota….come see ME???
Love your work and would love a signed copy!
Me please!
I would be ever so thankful if you picked me!!
Me!!!
You deserve every single wonderful thing that happens to you! I adore you.
omg please pick me! you are the voice inside my head but real.
I *neeeeeeed* a copy of your book, because I have it on my Nook, which means I don’t get to display it in its awesomeness in our home library!
(Also, I am enormously excited for you – #5! Sweet!)
Me me me! I would love it! (And congrats!)
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Congratulations! I love that the crowd smelled like cupcakes AND magnificence. Have to admit I always assumed those two things would smell the same.
Congratulations! So well deserved! Wish I could have come to see you in person.
I would so love a paperback copy, I ~must~ read the new chapter. I won’t get to see you this time around (you aren’t coming close enough this time) so I will have to wait till book 2 tours to bring you jello shots and love.
This is my favorite tribe. Thanks for letting us be a part.
Bought myself a copy for my birthday in October and have loaned it out so much it is in bad shape. A signed copy wouldn’t be a bad replacement. Congrats!
I need one! I lent my copy to someone, and they lent it to someone… ugh.
Pick me! Pick me! – from Shrek
a copy i could smell, says she who bought it on her kindle.
Is that guy in the front row to the extreme left wearing a fuschia tutu?
(It’s red. And he looks FANTASTIC in it. ~ Jenny)
Oh Jenny. We couldn’t be happier to have you as a leader of our tribe. You deserve the attention for being so freaking you.
I’d just love one!
So excited for you! Congratulations!!
Loved the first book. Will have to get the new one!
Is that guy on the left in a red tutu and and Knock Knock MotherFucker t-shirt!??! SWEET!
Me me me me!!! I’ll even make you a deal: if you give me that book, I promise I won’t stalk you to make you my new BFF like I have planned to do since I finished reading your book. (Not that you’re really in danger of me stalking you anyway since I live many highways away from Texas and am very lazy, but I would like this to be an exchange of sorts.)
Would love a copy!!!
That is awesome! Congrats!
me me me!!!! Pick me!
pick meeeee! And then I will make my new husband read it. And then maybe he will understand me. Probably not.
Cupcakes and magnificence. My two favourite smells.
(Congrats!)
I love love love rereading your book!! I have it in digital form and would love a paperback to hold and cuddle!!
Need to get me this book . . . or you could just give me one . . .
I want to read the extra chapter-you made me wet myself the first time around.
Your book and seeing you in Charlotte, NC last year were two highlights of 2012! I’m recovering from a C-section, but soon I’ll be able to get the paperback version!
I would love, love, love a signed copy of your book! Heck, I would even love an unsigned copy!(maybe a little less, but it would still be loved!) 😉
Just found your blog! Cant help but crack a smile when reading your posts….
Thanks!
Aww man…a signed copy?…I’d LOVE it! Be the best damn coaster EVER!
Hehehehe… Is the guy on the left wearing a red tutu? Awesome.
I’d LOVE your book! My 2 best friends and I have been brought to tears with laughter over your blog! Love it!!
So happy for you…and for us for the extra chapter!
My hardcover copy is autographed…the paperback copy is sad because it isn’t.
It’s awesome to see the turnout. That book really was such a blast to read. I’d love the paperback one so I can sneak it in with my fiance’s books to coax him into reading it. It’s like yummy bookalicious crack. 🙂
Whoo Hooo!
Thanks for all you do! I’d love to get another copy of your book since mine seems to be permanently on loan.
Pick me!! You need to come to Little Rock, AR. You have many fans!
Oh pick me! And you totally need to come to Nashville!!!
Never laughed so hard in my life. One of my absolute faves from last year! Would treasure a copy of my own!
Badassness? Done and done. Thanks for always making me laugh until I cry!
I got 2 copies last week but I would love an autographed copy! I also have it on my Kindle so I can read it any where 🙂
I was amazed how many of my friends said “That book is awesome!” when I started telling them about it. Didn’t even know they were fans. You’re big league now, Jenny.
I think that to make up to me for not coming to Sacramento, CA on your tour, that you should pick me for an autographed copy of your book! 😉
You are awesome and I love you!!!
ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME! 😉 I’m selfish, I want it purely for my own reading pleasure AND it will have a place of honor – I have a shelf JUST FOR internet friends who are authors. There is a space there JUST WAITING FOR THIS BOOK. Think of the prestige I will garner! It might catapult me from mediocrity to SOMEBODY!
Hey, it could happen.
Also I am sad that your book tour does not include Oklahoma.
WHICH IS ANOTHER REASON TO PICK ME. You know how backward the people are here. YOU MUST HELP ME.
Glad to see a fellow west Texas girl doing good. Make us proud!
Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I would like to read it!
Love you and your books!
So very happy for you!
LOVE you and can’t wait to meet you in Louisville! Wish I could take you to dinner at some of the yummy eateries we have. We could do some serious grubbing! 🙂
EEEEEEEEEEEE so happy for you! Thanks for being weird & awesome.
Sweet! But I hope the three year old puts down the hamster first 🙂
PS, next time come to Cleveland!
I loved your first book and a few months ago I let a friend borrow it… it was never seen again… so I will be buying a paperback so I can talk her into giving me mine back… but I am totally going to read the extra chapter before I give it to her… cuz thats how I roll..
#5 on the NYT!! Way to Go!! I’d come see you again but you’re not anywhere close to me this time and i no has teh monies to fly to you 🙁 sad face.
If the humor gods decided I should be graced with your book i’m keeping the signed one and giving the other one I have to my bff who only just started reading your blog and is just starting to understand the awesomeness that is you. 🙂
Congrats! And I would love another copy of your book. I wouldn’t even use it as a coaster. I’ll just make all my friends read it once I have read the new chapter!
Just found you a little bit ago and am spreading your news to deserving folks! Wish I could have met you when you met a friend of mine in Chicago recently. A bit too far away from me, though.
I saw you when you were in Seattle and since you won’t be back around here, I just strong-armed my friends and family in the Louisville/Cincinnati area to go see you. My guess is they will go and be completely baffled and maybe even yell at me because CURSING, but you know. Fighting the good fight and all.
So thrilled the tour is going well.
Please please please pick me!
I so wish you were coming near Richmond, VA. I would love to meet you. You have reduced me to hysterical tears more times than I can count – especially listening to the audiobook in a public place! (obviously, I used earbuds!)
PICK ME!
I’m with Sue W – come to Minnesota! (Oh wait…..we’re nice here….. come here PLEASE? )
Can’t wait to see you in San Jose!!!
Counting down the days!
Me! Me! Pick me!
Jenny you rock! You have given me the strength to get help 🙂
I have so many friends who need to be introduced to your humor 🙂
Congrats Jenny! Totally love your blog and your book!
Oooooo, me me ME!!! PICK ME!!!!
Would love a copy of the book!!
I have a copy of the hardback, but I’d love a paperback copy for the new chapter! As an AmeriCorps volunteer I can’t really afford it, but I may buy one anyway. I only wish I lived somewhere I could see you on tour.
I would LOVE a copy of your book. I am poor so I got it out of the library and just read it recently. I am still laughing about stuff from your book even now.
I am so looking forward to your next book about your anxiety disorder since I have that amongst other fun things.
Congrats, and thanks for all the laughs!
Great news! I loved reading your book on my nook, would love a copy in paperback!
You need to come to Anchorage on your book tour! That would be awesome 🙂
Fantastic, Jenny! Congrats to you and thanks for all you do!
Congrats! Amazing achievement! You know you had me at Big Metal Chicken 😉
I’m in Canada but please pick me!
I’d love to have a signed copy!
(that is, if you’d you ship internationally for those of us too far away to go see you on tour. Or come to Spain. Either would work :D)
Tonight is frozen pizza night!
Oh! I’d love an autographed copy of your book. Pick me!
Happy to be bizarre. Please pick me.
Sigh. I am seriously considering skipping class next week to meet you when you ome to Cincinnati. It’s my favorite class, too.
If I don’t win, I’m buying another copy to give my newest friend. You are right ~ I need to know how easily offended she is!
Credit should go to your amazing, yet incredibly twisted – in a good way – family, Doctor Who, and of course, the Little Bloggess and Victor.
Savor the flavor of victory, Jenny; God knows you’ve earned it.
Pick me! I have the Kindle book, but can’t spring for the second copy :(. And I’d LOVE to read the new chapter!!
Me me me!!! I had you sign my child ..that is probably like us being married in some countries.
If you send me a copy of your book, it’ll be entirely your fault that I stayed up all night reading it.
You’re proof there’s hope for all of us who don’t quite fit. Good job you, everything you have is well-earned!
I would love a paperback copy since my mother stole my hardcover copy on a plane ride from Virginia to Oregon in January and I haven’t seen it since. She laughed out loud to the point of snorting and embarrassment on every leg of our flight.
I keep buying your book and giving it to others, and yet…I’ve never read it! I do not have my own copy!
Congratulations! Can’t wait to read your book!
Yay, I’m in this picture! You just can’t see me, ’cause I was way in the back, behind other people, and didn’t actually get there until several minutes after this picture was taken. Oh, wait…
That’s a lot of happy people! Congrats on your richly-deserved success! If you weren’t so awesome (and a good writer), it wouldn’t have happened, so YAY, you!!
You are awesome! My coworkers and I have been pimping your book(as my friend jenny says)! I have purchased it three times…twice as gifts! I think the gift receivers like me a little better now. So hey thanx for writing…. best of luck!
Congratulations on the NYT list! More than well deserved.
That is so cool. You completely deserve it. And your/our tribe is really great. When I went to your booksigning at Costco here in Seattle last August, everyone was so nice in line. I was still nervous, and I think I babbled to you for a minute about it being my birthday, and you smiled and were nice, too. I didn’t have enough courage to stick around, but it was still the nicest standing around in Costco I’ve ever had. Plus I got your book for myself as a bday present. So, there’s that. Congrats on NYT list again!
I just moved from CA to WA and after 3 months, I finally made a friend. And I would love to share your book with her! Pick me!
P.S. thanks for wishing my cousin an early happy birthday on twitter last month, he really needed it 🙂
This is awesome! Congrats on #5. Super psyched for you and STILL MAD YOUR PAPERBACK TOUR DOESN’T COME ANYWHERE NEAR DC.
Would love to share your book with my therapist! I reference it weekly. You deserve all this great support. 🙂
I want to go to there! Also I’m dying for a copy of your book! I should buy one so that you get money for your awesomeness (I did buy the audio book, does that count?), but I’m a poor lowly grad student. Pick me! #noshame
I love you, Jenny! You’re so awesome, that I’ve gotten several friends to read your book too! And they love you! And I’m totally not just saying this so that you might give me a copy of your book! 😉
Me because I’m your #1 gay fan, and I WILL spread the word. LoveLoveLove
I wish you were going to be near Fort Collins, Colorado!
I would love a copy! Thanks!
pick me pick me!
please?
Use it as a coaster?!? Heavens no!!! Such literary genius must NEVER be abused in such a manner!!!
Woot woot!
Congratulations! My husband and I are hoping to see you when you come to CA!
I’ve wanted one of your books so badly, I just haven’t been able to afford one yet!
Congratulations! Very exciting!
Congratulations on the book! Pick me!!!
Awww. I’m giving a copy of your book to a friend of mine who’s 6 weeks away from having her first baby (alone) while dealing with her mom’s terminal cancer (she needs as much laughter as possible). But – I’m planning on buying it for her anyway to tuck into her hospital bag – so please pick someone else who can’t buy one. Just wanted to let you know that your book will bring much-needed joy to a (very sweet) stranger!
Congrats!!!
That is awesome! Go you! (Also, pick me, pick me, pick me! Maybe? Please?) 🙂
Me! I listened to your audiobook but would loooooooove to see your printed words. And bonus chapter. And I want to display Hamlet von Schnitzel as a faceout on my bookshelf for all eternity!
I would love a copy! <3
I never win anything, but this could change the course of my luck forever. Pick me, pick me!
Hell yes Jenny!! I wish you were coming somewhere close to southern New Mexico, but I can live vicariously through the awesome people that get to go see you 🙂
CONGRATULATIONS! You deserve it.:)
I loved your book and can’t wait to read the bonus chapter!
Even though I have read it before, I am excited to read your book on my upcoming 10 hour flight to Poland! It’s one of the few things that is going to keep me sane. 🙂
Come to Raleigh, NC! I’ll be there! loved loved loved ur book, cant wait for more!
You’re amazing! Thanks for sharing your journey…the best is yet to come.
Well, I read the hardcover about 4 times already, so I think I TOTALLY deserve to get the signed paperback version with the bonus chapter.
Oh, and you rock. Seriously. ROCK…MY…SOCKS.
You totally deserve this, Jenny! Thanks for being you. Huggles.
I already bought the hardcover, and the kindle version, AND the paperback but if you pick me, I promise to give my unsigned paperback to someone who hasn’t read the book because I CANNOT LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVEN’T READ THIS BOOK.
I NEED a copy!!!! We are having a money-saving March and this book being dangled in front of me is dangerously close to throwing me off my money-saving mission this month (I would hate to be a failure:)
Is it creepy that I want to win just so I can have something you touched? A little? Well, then I want to win because you’re not coming to the City of Salt so I’m probably not going to be able to see you in person… We’ll go with that.
🙂
Me! Me! Me!
Ooooo MEEEEE! I bought the original on Kindle and can’t see the pics very well. Need hard copy! And PS, I like your cats.
help me offend people.
Me please!!
Congratulations on your success!
I was there! I don’t need to win a copy, I’m just super excited to see a pic of the even I WAS AT! (please come to Anchorage, AK. I’d totally be at the signing [again].)
Someday I will make a friend. And when I do, I want to give the poor soul your book. Because he, she or it is going to need something to live for. Please give me a book. I can be more pathetic if you need me to be. I can be SO PATHETIC.
Curious about the added chapter for sure!
Pick me!! please?!
Best Book EVER!!
Such a great book that I convinced the library to get it in for me!
PLEASE PLEASE pick me!! Why? Because I can’t get to any of your tour stops to have you sign one in person. 🙁
Like Crash, I’m super disappointed your paperback book tour doesn’t include a stop anywhere near Washington DC. ::insert EPIC SAD FACE::
Please point your picker at me.
Your book made me laugh so hard I cried. You really new to come to Austin! :-)!!
Pick me! I spread the love international styles!! And I can’t buy the paperback yet because I’m sure the Euros haven’t legalised (oh yes, that’s how we spell it) it yet!!! I’ve shared the love and promize (that’s not real) to continue to do so! Hug me. 🙂
I would love an actual copy of your book. I downloaded it on my kindle and read it this week and I have to say that I knew you had a few issues based on your blog but reading your book really made me understand you better. It made me laugh to the point of tears at times but it also really spoke to me. I could relate to so much of what you said about what you deal with. Especially a lot of the stuff about your school years. I loved the stuff about you and Victors relationship because as fucked up as I am it gave me hope that someday I might meet a guy who will accept me for who I am and love me despite all my crap. One part that I really connected with was the part about your first pregnancy, it made me cry because of the memories it brought up. Thank you for writing your book and sharing yourself like that. And thank you for showing me that being me is ok, that my issues arent things I need to apologize for, and that people can love you not despite them but because of them. You rock!
Pick me pick me!!
I would love one – I was going to come to your tour stop in Cincinnati next week, but I just started a new job this week…and now I have to work next Wednesday evening….
Yay Jenny! One of these days, I would love to see you on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. He’s the perfect person to interview you since he’s a bit out there himself. That would be so awesome I think my head would explode.
I wish you would come to Tulsa, but I probably couldn’t come anyway due to anxiety and chemical sensitivity. I bought a copy for my mom and it’ll smell like goats and chickens so I can’t borrow hers, so still I wait…
That’s so awesome!! You totally deserve it! 😀
Congratulations!! I laughed my way through the book the first time, and it’s let me bond with a few friends over our previously undisclosed fears and anxieties. Thanks for making the world a little weirder. 😉
You rock. That is all.
WooHoo!!!!!! Awesome news!!!!!!!!!!
I bought your book a couple weeks ago, thinking I was going to save it to read in the hospital when I had my 4th baby. Problem is that I started reading it sooner and couldn’t put it down – so much fun to read! Then, I shared with my husband and mother-in-law. Great job!
You’re not just part of the tribe. You’re the leader!!
I need that paperback, and also a hamster that won’t cry even if I squeeze him tight. Please pick me.
IS THAT GUY IN THE FRONT ROW WEARING A TUTU?!?! (Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes.)
Holy cow. I just moved and when you come to Danville, CA in April, you are only going to be an hour from my house. This must be fate.
Thank you so much for making horrible days at work so less horrible with your wonderful tales!
Loved your book ! I’m going to lend my copy to my mom. <3
I hope I win. Regardless I’m coming to see you in Louisville — and bringing a gift!
I feel misled by the term “new book”! I got unnecessary aroused and then incredibly disappointed when the new book turned out to be the old book! therefore I’d like to win a signed copy of the old book since new one doesn’t exist. Also the book that I purchased long time ago is not signed. I’d like a signed copy so I can sniff it occasionally. Thank you. Also, my cat died.
Pick me!! Is this where I tell you my sob story that our house flooded and we’re staying in a hotel so could totally use some good luck?!?
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Ack! I want a signed copy! Pick me!
I would love a copy!
Saw the book last weekend at Sam’s Club. If they hadn’t raked me over for the cost of a new membership, it would have ended up in my basket. Rather than test Assets Protection, won’t you pick me (and save me the cost of bail)?
Ooh, I’d love a signed copy. Closest spot on your tour was NY and I couldn’t get up there on a weeknight!
Looks like a great crowd!
Waaaaaahooooooo!!
Ooooh, ooooh PICK ME! PICK ME!! I was a little sad that your east coast leg didn’t include Philadelphia. (I swear we read here.) How can I not have a signed copy considering we’re such close Twitter friends? 😉
I just discovered last night that a good friend lost her copy to a dog before she was able to read it, and she doesn’t want to risk my copy near the dog. So yes, I am using the excuse that “the dog ate it” as my reason for wanting to win a free one!
i’m coming to see you in San Jose! But i’d love to win a copy anyway! Then you can sign it twice! Wait! That’s not enticing you, is it? 🙁
Gratz! I’d love to read that bonus chapter, maybe you’ll pick me? 😀
*Totally would love a Copy of the Paperback copy with another chapter of Bloggess FUN! :)* Please!! Safe and Happy book signing/talking trails to you…!!!
OMG! I would love a signed copy. Never read a book that made me laugh so hard!
We may have done it, but you got it started.
Also, if I don’t get a signed book, can I get a dead mouse? Stuffed, please.
I will forgive you for skipping Indiana AGAIN if you give me a copy of your book. Love you!!
Pick me too!!!
Meeeeeeee OMG me.
Ooh! Pick me! Pick me! 🙂
I MUST be the biggest loser because i havent read your book yet. BUt I insist I’m a huge fan, who has exposed you to many of my friends who HAVE bought said book.
so, that counts for something. nothing.
I would frame the crap out of that autograph! Or shellac it on a trophy!
Plus I have been meaning to buy the book but I get hella distracted. Usually because I wind up commenting on blog posts and then forgetting what I was doing….
I’m new to twitter and just building my follow list. I entered “the boogers” but “the bloggress” was listed. If I read your book, will you teach me about boogers?
I would like this please, thank you. Congrats on the tour and success of of the book! Yay!
I ended up giving away both copies of the hard back I bought cos I figure everyone needs to read it, so I would maybe make excited noises if I won an autographed copy with a bonus chapter
Go you, on your tour 🙂 Doing the really scary stuff makes other stuff seem less scary. So we’ll all be scared together….. That sounded more motivating in my head….
Can I have a signed copy please? I promise to give my other one to a friend in need.*
*Lies. I’m going to play with them like they are dolls and have tea parties with them.
I sadly have not yet read your book. But it’s on hold at the library, and I’ll probably have it to read while I’m sitting in a barn waiting for a horse to have a baby next week. It’ll keep me awake, right?
Awesome!! I have a few friends who NEED your book. Although if I won it, I might keep it for myself and give them my current copy.
I’m a loyal devoted hanging-on-every-word-you-say fan. I was one of the first to buy the first book. (I back ordered it.) I *totally* want a copy of the second. And frankly, I’ll go out and get one if you don’t pick me. Because I love you. You’re welcome.
Please come to Florida!!!! I will bring all my friends
I was extremely happy to buy the new version in the Chicago airport! Good for you, Jenny, good for us all.
I have 3 kids and haven’t read a book that wasn’t made of cardboard in 10 years!!!! I need it!!!
Would make my day.
YAY!!
Loved your book. Hoping you write another one!
So happy for you! You deserve the love. 🙂
Supah Cool!
ooh, pick me please!
Oh pick me pick me!!!!
Oooh! Congratulations! I wish I could have added to that number. Maybe I’ll be one of the lucky random people. That would be awesome
If I win, I’ll give my non-autographed copy to an unsuspecting someone…..
PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME! Or not either way I love you and will be buying your book soon except that you aren’t coming to New Mexico which makes me a little bit sad…
Everyone should read this! I’ve already passed along my copy.
There is a bonus chapter!!!??? Pick me!
Cheeseus! 200 comments in 15 minutes! Spammers!
Already have my book. Driving friends/family insane by my constant readings to them. I’m trying to work “Hush, little rabbit” into my daily vernacular.
Oh PLEASE come to Minnesota again, I couldn’t see you the last time because I had something going on, but I promise I will make sure my calendar is empty if you come back again!
I would love a copy! ….closes eyes to visualize being lucky winner…..
This makes me so happy for you. You deserve all of the good things.
You are so funny! I love reading your stuff.
If I won a signed copy of the paperback, I’d have to keep my original hardcover too – I had Wil Wheaton sign it “This book is funnier than the Bible.” !!!
Congratulations! Well deserved. I’m incredibly happy for you!!
You’re like the shaman of our tribe, Jenny! Seriously… you’re made of magic.
I literally just pulled over to beg for a freebie lol
Hey! They said dont text and drive. There was nothing about reading and driving!
YAYAYAY I had so much fun at your St. Louis reading !!!!
I need your book so I can read it!! I’m also on terminal hold with my local library. 🙁
Saw you in Annapolis last summer. My signed metal chicken occupies a place of honor in my home!
If I beg enough will you add Little Rock, AR to your book tour? Please? Pretty please. Also, if love to win a copy of your book. Every time I get mine back from a friend I have to loan it to the next person on my list. Which is actually awesome.
I’ve made everyone I know read your book, and the last person I loaned it to kept it. I would love a new copy!
Ooo please pick me!! I’m canadian I don’t get to see you on tour and I don’t think we are privy to the bonus chapter in the paperback version…I have the hardcover…LOVE THIS BOOK. would really really like to get that bonus chapter.
Just a thank you to you. Because you help me see each and every day that depression lies and that I do have the strength to survive.
That’s great! Congrats 🙂 Can’t wait to read it!
OMG I loved you book to bits. I read most of it during a bad down swing of depression and it had me cracking up and literally LOLing through most of it. I stopped a couple of times just to make it last longer but I just flew through it anyways. I’m dying to read the new chapter when I can snag a copy. You are an amazing person and have been a great inspiration for me as I’ve wandered around the roads of depression and chronic anxiety. Much <3 to you you amzaing wonderful woman and you family!
I would read the extra chapter then frame it and place it in pride of place next to an ethically taxidermied Australian bush creature (likely a Quoll)
Okay, just leave a comment…that’s all I have to do. Relatively simple, normal thing most humans don’t have a problem doing.
I think strapless bras are equal to the crotchless underwear, kinda feel naked but you’re not.
There…a statement.
Oh shit, was it supposed to be a comment about the book?
I like sloths.
I can’t wait to be in that crowd! See you next week! Of course it won’t be THAT crowd. Mine will have a unicorn head in it.
Me me me!!! I have a broken foot and crutches. I’ll go for the pity vote.
Beyonce promised me a book 🙂 I am sure you will help him keep his word….I love your blog…you crack me up and I would love to have a copy of your book…congrats on being #5 on the list…grovel..grovel…grovel
It would be handy to have an extra copy, as I keep foisting the first one off on friends! Wish you were coming close enough for me to see you in person, but I’ll have to live vicariously through your blog. XOXO
me, me, me, me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
me, me, me! Pretty please?
I didn’t have a car, or a sittet, or my pills to come see you in Chicago-ish. Is live to win a signed copy so I can lie and tell people it was a magical panic elixir and no I won’t share and buy your own. What a twisted marketing suggestion. Save me. With your book.
Love the book!!! Congrats on being #5!
I wish we could have seen you. My father-in-law was visiting when you where in NJ, ans we couldn’t make it. Last tour, you were nearby and dh was working, so we c ouln’t come. I would love a copy so I could share you with my kids and said father-in-law!
Hoping some day you’ll visit Western New York!
Congrats on #5! Can’t wait to see you hit #1. I re-read it on my kindle whenever I need a laugh to remind me that my own life really isn’t so crazy.
PICK ME!!!!!!! Please.
I totally want that book! Congrats on all your success!
We’d love to see you in Portland again! Hope you’re having a good time – you deserve it. 🙂
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PICK ME PICK ME!!! I have a hardback copy and so does my mother (she has become a HUGE fan since I gave it to her), but I need an autographed copy! Sad that you’re not coming to Houston since I missed your first tour but happy that it’s going so well for you!!!
I have no less than three new friends that require testing!!
I was feeling yucky the day of your event in NYC and so so bummed that I had to miss you. Next time, k?
Congrats on being you!
I need it so I can make my husband read it! He has a fear of my iPad for reading. And you’re not going to come anywhere near my city 🙁
Now I kinda wanna squeeze a hamster… no worries – I’m already medicated.
I have your ebook, but could really use a coaster.
Ooooh! Pick me! Pick me!!
New reader, I’d love to read the book!
Pick me! Pick me! I have a digital copy of your book, but I wish I had a hard copy so I could share it 🙂
Winning this would be the perfect trifecta of awesome. We met Wil Wheaton at Disney on Tuesday (super awesome), lost my wallet at the Magic Kingdom on Wednesday (not awesome) – it was found and returned to me on Thursday (super awesome), and now the only missing part is an autographed copy of your book + bonus chapter!
I have not purchased the new paperback version due to my whole no job/no money situation, but as soon as I get a job I want so much to get a copy of the paperback version to read in the tub… I’d take my hardcover copy but I worry that I’ll laugh so hard that I’ll get bathwater all over it and since it’s the copy that you autographed at the same time you autographed my chestal area (thank you again for that!) I don’t really want bathwater all over it. Plus, it’d be easier to put a paperback copy into a ziplock bag for reading in the tub.
I’m sad you’re not coming back to Dallas but hope our paths eventually cross again. I still think about how awesome it was to meet the tribe that came out in Dallas (including Lisa G… that was a HUGE bonus)!
Eeeeeeeeee pick meeeeeeeee!
I have an ebook copy of your book…would love to have a copy of the paperback version.
We are reading your book in the Methodist Book Club, but you don’t sound very Methodist to me.
#5! I’m so happy for you! I have the kindle version so having an actual copy would be AMAZING!
This is so awesome, Jenny! YOU are so awesome! It’s your amazing-ness that attracts cool and awesome people. I hope to win a copy of the new version of the book (after buying three of the hardcover), but if I don’t, I imagine I’ll have to buy another one. I can’t let that chapter go unread!
I already have two hardback copies, one that my sister had you sign for me in Tempe and one I pre-ordered last year. If you’ll come to Vegas I’ll buy a paperback copy just so I can meet you and have you sign that one as well. Or you could randomly choose me to get one of the five copies and then come to Vegas to sign it!
It’s win-win!
Random. Schmandom. Pick me. =)
I REALLY need that book. Don’t leave me hanging wondering about that bonus chapter!
I’m sad you’re not coming to Los Angeles on your tour, so winning an autographed book would certainly make me feel better.
Ohhh, I want to go to one of your book signings so badly! Come to the east coast PA/NJ region!
Would love to get an autographed copy.
Ooooh, pick me, please!
Pick me! Pick me!
I would love a copy! I so wish you were coming to the Dallas, TX area! Good luck on the next leg of your tour!
I want ittttttt!!
That would be a fantastic consolation prize since none of the book tour stops were close enough for me to get to…. You deserve all the fantastic praise. We are lucky to be a part of your tribe as well.
Pleeeeeeeeeeeease pick me, I so want to read the new chapter!
Reading: The best way to fuck reality for a while.
Oh! Ohh!! Ms. Kotter, I need that book! (The other one can go to my awful sister – I got her hand me downs growing up, so she can get my used copy of your book.)
I seriously would love to have your book. I haven’t been able to afford it, and considering your nearest tour place was several hours away, i’d never be able to get a signed copy.
Yey! Congratulations, Jenny. 🙂
Do you have a list of cities that you will be going to for your signing?
I would squeal like a hamster if I won a copy of your book!
I have the book on Kindle, so I could really use a hard copy of the book for any emergency coaster needs around my house. Please pick me!
Thank you for being you!!!
You are an awesome chickadee. Your true-to-self style has been an inspiration to me. Just knowing that I’m not alone has been better than therapy. I read your book and LOVED it. I share quotes and jokes from it, all the time.
Whether or not I’m chosen, you should know that your journey has inspired my journey. I couldn’t be more grateful.
Meeting you was totally worth buying the book again (and one for a friend in Iowa)! If you look closely I’m WAAAAAYYYY in the back. To the right. By the creepy dog. In the “enchantment” section. 🙂 What an awesome evening! Thanks!
Congrats Jenny! I love your book 🙂
Pick me, pick me!!!! Long time follower, first time commenter. Thanks you for being so frank about your anxiety and depression. I was raised in a family where it is unacceptable to talk about your feelings. Since I rarely share with people, I often have felt like there is something wrong with me and I’m the only one like “this” Your book/videos have helped me a lot. One night, I was literally holding back the tears and your book brought me around to laughter. 🙂
OOOOOhhhh!! I’m 1/3 way through the Hardcover(a gift from my hubby for Valentines day!!), but I’d LOVE LOVE LOVE an autographed copy!!
XOXOXOXO
So enjoyed the book, would love another one!
Love you forever Jenny!!
I pre-ordered the kindle version so I dont have an actual book…sure would love to have a “hard copy”! Plus I introduced you to human interactive cat ears so you love me. 🙂 Pick me! Pick me!
Pick me 🙂
I would LOVE one when you come to KC 🙂
Wished you were coming to Seattle!
Yay!!! Congratulations!!! Best book ever… seriously.
Woo!
::sigh:: Alaska is AGAIN not on your list of tour stops. Thus I need to be one of the lucky 5. To make up for the pain in my weeping, freezing, bear-skinned, polar heart.
I’m so happy for you, Jenny! I would just LOVE a copy of the new paperback book, especially since I wasn’t able to make any of your tour dates in Southern California. Best of luck on the rest of your tour!
Woo-hoo! Thanks for all the laughs!
[Insert funny comment here with slight cussing that makes you laugh and love me and want to send me a copy of your book]
Pick meeeeeeee, pretty please? With sugar on top? Or maybe a wine slushie? 🙂
Love the book and you! Go team weird! 🙂
ME! ME! ME!
Just so you know, your reach gets all the way to the other side of the world, I spent much time receiving weird looks when I was reading your book whilst commuting to and from my old job. You know what I totally didn’t care, laughter makes the world go crazy (no sorry that’s no TV and no beer makes Homer…) well I like laughing.
I’d love a copy. We’re reading your book for our book club in a few months, mostly to weed out the people it offends. Not really, but that would be a fun litmus test.
See, now I have always thought awesome throngs of people that support hilarity and brilliance would smell like cupcakes, magnificence with a hint of dryer sheets.
I guess you learn something new every day!
Pick me! Pick me!
Huge chicken fan, right here.
Well, I have a copy, but I’d love to give one to my daughter. So pick me!
You deserve all this love and MORE!! congrats.
Please come to Boston … (in the springtime…) A little Joan Baez for you. Fingers crossed for the autographed copy of your book!
Oh pick me because I’m lame and haven’t bought the paperback version but still really want to read the bonus chapter
I can’t even tell you how much I wish I lived ANYWHERE near one of your stops… sadly the “MIDDLE OF NOWHERE” northern Ontario, Canada is not one of your stops. But cheers to you Jenny!
Okay Melissa, just leave a comment she said…I mean how hard can it be? Most relatively normal humans do this all the time.
I think strapless bras are like crotchless underwear but for your boobs. You’re kinda naked but not.
There, a comment.
Oh shit, was the comment supposed to be about the book?
I borrowed your book from the library when I read it the first time (I actually forced them to buy it cause I emailed them and said they were severely lacking in books about family who stay together with taxidermy and such) and I got the virgin copy.. Is there anything better than a virgin book from the library? It gave me a bit of a lady boner. But I’m glad that now others who patron my library can shoot Pepsi max out their nose like I did when I read it.
I’d love to get a copy of your new book! YOU. ARE. AWESOME.
I bought the iBooks version and am so sad I can’t hold it in my hands and pass around to all my friends!! Would love to win an actual copy
I loved the book and can’t wait to read the new chapter (double yay if I win :P).
You’re the bomb, Jenny!!!!
Gimme, gimme!! Or I can just wait until you are here in Cinci next week…..either way – win win for me!
Why does no on ever come to NH? Hint Hint
Congrats chickadee!! And if you ever make it to Shreveport, expect to see me in your front row. (:
*insert something clever here that will make me win*
Just remember, I and my lovely red-headed wonder child headed out in the middle of a haboob and stood in line for hours in Tempe, AZ to see you. I even shared my pictures of the haboob with you. (Is the emotional blackmail working yet??? P-P-P-P-PLLLLEEEASE?? with sugar on top, and a taxidermied something or other)
P.S. You are AWESOME!! (see, flattery is better than blackmail, right? right? maybe?) >_<
Pick me! Pick Me! I already have the hardcover, but I’ll share it I promise!
We are all so proud of you-and we are just along for the ride 🙂
You are awesome!!
I’d been wanting to read your book since it first came out but was a little low on funds so I waited for it to come out in paperback. The timing of the paperback release was perfect because I had a doctor appointment that included a one hour test and I needed something to read while I was waiting. I bought a copy of the book about a week before the test and, to keep myself from reading it (and possibly finishing it) before my appointment, I tied it closed with ribbon. It was like I was opening a much awaited present to myself after being jabbed with needles. Totally worth the wait. 😀
Congrats on the top 5!! I’m so disappointed you won’t be in my area (Ga) this time. Last time you were close I had a giant panic / agoraphobia situation and couldn’t make it. It happens. Please continue to enjoy your tour and be safe! Wave to my family in Los Angeles when you’re there!
Woohoo – congrats! Would love to win one. 🙂
I would LOVE a signed copy of your book.. Or any copy, signed or unsigned for that matter. I am old school and need to feel the spine, count the pages and carefully lick my right pointer finger before the last paragraph of the right page is read while I expertly turning the page without missing a beat.
I have turned this into a fine art form since I was reading avidly since I was in 4th grade. Actually my first favorite book ever read 20 times over in second grade, was “A Fish Out Of Water” and I was hooked ever since. Not only did I understand NOT to overfeed fish, I learned that I would never be that girl who follows directions because people said so and would most likely have the same results at least once and wonder how I would get all the stains out of the carpet after a huge fish came barrelling down my mothers staircase and through the front door.
Now.. back to your book. I promise I will read it, review it and post it on my blog. I SAWEAR!!!!!!
Gratefully yours, an avid reader.
P.S. But not such a good speller
P.S.S. I used to be a good speller and won the spelling bee in 4th grade for the entire school.
P.S.S.S. No the school had more than one 4th grade class. 6 to be exact.
I have many unstable friends (including my poor mother) that I feel would benefit greatly from your book. I know I did. I enjoyed meeting you and am so happy for your success. I’m not trying to butter you up (besides, I’m really just going to use it to keep my kitchen table leg even) but its so refreshing to see a very real very kind person deserve such greatness.
Cheers.
Missy
Exciting, I’d love to have a copy!
I’m in Guatemala without Netflix or Redbox and hardly any books to ready, so I really think you ought to pick me. (Pretty please?)
Winning a copy of your book would give me a second reason to squee like a squooshed hamster this week. (the first being the news that “Sherlock” is not only about to start filming season 3 but is confirmed for a 4th season! SQUEEEEEEE!)
That was the book signing I went to! (I’m in the third row hiding behind a book.) Thank you so much for coming out on tour and reading for us. If I’m a lucky winner of your book I’ll gladly pass it on to someone who couldn’t make it to your tour, or who couldn’t afford the book which is equally tragic.
I can’t wait to meet you!! I’ll get to see you in CA, at your stop in Danville! I’m so excited! I would love the paper back version so I can read the new chapter.. I have it in hardback, and for my iPad..
How wonderful, Jenny!!! That is such a fantastic accomplishment.
Cheers!
ooh me me!
So bummed that you’re coming to Louisville & Cinci on weekdays! I live smack in the middle of the two…unfortunately, I don’t think my boss would understand what I NEED to go see the incredibly funny owner of a giant metal chicken, who happens to be my favorite author…maybe I could tell him I’m meeting with Beyonce’s “manager”?!?!
Oooohhh!!!! I’d LOVE a copy of your book!
So happy for you that the paperback is doing so well— but why wouldn’t it, it’s fabulous. Continued success with #2 and I hope 3 and 4. Much love, Donna
I hope I get picked to win! Did I mention my birthday is on St. Patrick’s Day? Early birthday present maybe? 😀 Hugs!!!
I just found out about your blog when one of my friends and I were having a conversation about my new roommate who doesn’t like to lock the door. My friend said, “you have to read this post on this blog I follow” and brought up your post about your bear “protection” costume. Fantastic! Wondering if I win the new book if a bear costume can be thrown in or if I can buy one online….
It’s all because you rock… Now it’s only I could get you to visit my tiny town…
Pick Me! Pick Me! Please and thank you.
Pick me & I’ll let you name one of our farm animals anything you want! ANYTHING. YOU. WANT.
YAY!
Would love to have a copy of your book……an avid fan here.
Yay book! See you in Cincinnati!
I friggin LOVE you. I lent my copy of your book to my friend and bitch stole my book!!! I need a new copy. 🙂
Congrats! Very deserved – I love the book and would love a copy!
I’d love an autographed copy!!
You should pick me because I’m heartbroken I can’t come to see you next week in Louisville. My daughter has a school function I can’t miss. 🙁
Oh I’d love one. Right now I have a copy that I borrowed from our local library. (I borrowed The Book of Job by Harold Kushner at the same time. That IS odd, no?
Ohhh pick meeeeeee 🙂
You aren’t touring anywhere near me or i would have brought my own tribe of weirdos to see you. I would absolutely adore a copy of your book, your blog helps me get through the days.
Please please please pick me! My office just had a tornado drill that only served to illustrate how we will all die horribly in the event of a tornado, I need a happy! And some McDonald’s!
Memememememeeeee!!!
I couldn’t make it to your NJ stop and I’m still crushed 🙁
Had planned to buy the paperback then but it never happened… so I totally need one!
I also need to get my ass on a plane and see you at one of your next stops 🙂
I borrowed it from the library the first time, so a paperback copy with a bonus chapter would rock.
This is an awesome picture!
I would love a copy, please. Thank you. And, congratulations on the success of your book. I do enjoy reading your blog. 🙂
I would love to win one….but if not, I am definitely buying it when i get paid!!! I wish I still had the petrified frog and lizard from when I was a kid, i would so send them to you. 🙂
Come to Maine on your book tour! I promise… we have lots of wierd and dysfunctional people here.
I love your book, my mother stole my copy so i will have to buy the paperback. Hope your tour stops in Texas too
OOOH pick me, I can smell like cupcakes too! Also because I’m 6 hours away from Miami and totally not going to make it but really wish I could! /hopeful smile
Only #5?!?? You deserve #1! Thanks for all the laughs. Please give me a book.
Hey! That’s my hand somewhere in there. My hand is totally famous now!
I have all 3 versions of your book! 2 of them are signed which is awesome. (If I’d have had bigger balls at the Chicago signing I’d have gotten the audiobook done too. Damn!) So you can take me out of the running for the autographed ones. But thank you for being so awesome!
Eeeeeee!!!
Yay book!
So, the other night, I was lying in bed and I farted.
So of course my partner goes “Ewwwwww, why is it always so stinky”.
And being delirious (it was quite late), I wondered aloud “What if I stuck an orange in my pants. Then it would smell great!”.
And she’s like “What. Don’t do that. That is even worse.”
But I continued musing: “But then it would be all lumpy. You could call me BaboonButt.”
And I got a “Stop Talking.”
Which reminded me of you and Victor, so clearly I deserve a book for farting in bed.
I’d love to win a copy!
Wonderful! I’d love a copy!
You don’t have to say free book twice to me!
The people in your crowds look as happy to be there as you are to have them 🙂 Congrats on all the well-deserved success!
Want a signed copy. Need to say thanks for the great stories. Love your book. And can’t wait for the next one. P.S. I offer bribe of actual pony rides (Eclipse the Andalusian for adults and Percy the cutest Shetland on earth for the kiddies-in Liberty Hill–not that far) if I win.
I want one!!
me!
Because I only have the kindle version due to living in Kenya, where your publisher seems to have forgotten to launch your book!
And because I’m currently exiled in Denmark waiting to give birth to my first child in about 12 days… And tonight I decided to watch a birthing documentary on tv which has left me horrified, terrified and oddly exhilarated at the same time… I need a dose of you to keep my mind off it 😉
Every single person in that photograph is smiling! How amazing is that?! I have nary a copy of your book, and I do so hope I am one of the chosen.
Congrats Jenny, you earned it.
Congratulations, so many times over!! You truly deserve all the accolades- not only is your book hilarious and well-written, but YOU are such a gift to the world! Yayayayyayay!
OH MY GOD PLEASE PICK ME…. and here’s why… I just spent the entire day scrubbing black and orange mold out of the grout in TWO bathrooms. With BLEACH AND BAKING SODA! My LUNGS ARE ON FIRE!!!! For the love of Halloween, please let me have a copy of my very own to love and stroke and hold and squeeze too tight and make it go EEEEEEEEK and I will call it George. Thanks for your support. I mean, by tomorrow, I’ll probably die of NOSE BLISTERS.
You have so many followers bc the you are awesome and giant metal chicken.
I think you- via your books- are pretty awesome! You bring light to many issues that people have been told not to talk about. You also make me feel it’s ok every time I say the work “fuck” Along with the fact that I’m 43 and my mother still yells at me on Facebook when I’m being honest about wanting to punch people in the neck when they drive their Amigo’s like assholes through the store isles. I would love a signed copy and I wouldn’t sell it. I would keep it and then give away my other to someone who has a stick up their butt in hopes that when they laughed at what you write the stick would magically fall out.
I don’t see how it’s our fault you’re so funny.
Oh I want pick me pick me
Can’t wait to see you in Dayton Ohio on March 19th — and it will be my BIRTHDAY!!!
please Please PLEASE?!? I just finished the hardcover version and want the bonus chapter AND the autograph … and I promise not to sell it on eBay. Also, I asked my husband for a 5 foot metal chicken for my birthday, but I got earrings and a pair of shoes instead. I think he thought I was kidding about the chicken. I wasn’t.
Eeeeeeee!! Pick meeeeeee!!
Congratulations! I have your book on my Kindle, but would love to have a hard copy. Especially a signed one. Because now that you’ve said “give it to a new friend and see how easily they’re offended’ I’ve got all sorts of ideas. It’d be a great way to make new friends that will last – the main screening would be someone that recognizes it lying on the table while I’m drinking a cup of coffee. Or a shot of tequila. Hmm, maybe the tequila would get me a closer match. If I’d had a hard copy last fall I’d have saved a lot of ‘omg I thought she was a real friend’ angst. (Sadly, not joking.)
Would love a copy of the new book! And congrats!!
Looks like an awesome experience!
I’d KILL for a signed copy of you new book, Jenny!
I mean really…is there anyone you need me to kill? I’ve never done it before but I’m a quick learner….and it IS a SIGNED book!…uh, oh, looks like I have a motive! maybe I’m not going to be good at this.
Pick me! Choose me! Love me!
Would love love LOVE the book! I don’t have a copy yet at all =( sadness
Send me one in Canada, so I can spread your spirit around these Rocky Mountains!!
I am this close to getting my shit together!
You are coming to a town where I *used* to be, but I have moved across country to be with my new love in the last week. I thought about staying long enough to meet you… but… I couldn’t find the perfect taxidermied animal to give you, so….
Me please.
I was just coming back to re-read your last post (where you ask “what the hell was Grimace? A stain?”) because it made me laugh so. I would love a signed copy of your book!
Thank you for helping me to realize that I am not alone in my crazy filled world of pure awesomeness. You make me feel more normal. And slightly LESS crazy. But definitely more normal.
I should totally win
You rock. If you send me one please write that it’s to “doctor”.
Me please! I missed you when you came to Boston…anxiety is lame, and I’m still kicking myself. Plus I totally don’t have the paper-back copy yet, and nowhere near enough cash to justify buying it again.
Oh!! Pick me!!
I actually need two copies of your book because I know so many weird people and I like to share. Congrats! You’ve earned every copy you’ve sold!
Eventually you WILL come to Utah!! I’m sure everyone and their sister wives would love to see you!
Cool beans! I bought the first kindle version and would love to have a signed paperback.
too cool, congratulations! can’t wait to get paperback copies to give to my sisters/nieces; loved the e-book, can’t wait to read the extra chapter! would be awesome if I had autographed copy. 🙂
oh oh i would love, love, love one!
Pick Me! Pick Me! (pretty please with sprinkles and a cherry on top)
I don’t have a copy yet and it would make me feel better over you not coming to the UK. 🙁
Me, pretty please!!! I haz metal chicken on my porch!
I gave a friend MY copy of your book (with the nameplate) because she wanted it so badly and I’m THAT good of a friend. Or you know, I waited until the last minute then couldn’t find it anywhere (because it’s awesome and sold out) and just had to give her my copy… which means I need another.
Also, I love Doctor Who. And cats. And taxidermied animals…primarily stoats. I need a stoat. (I think that’s a given… we all need stoats, in coats.) Aaaaaand I’ve gifted it to others before. Which means I’m a giver. And a sharer. And I’m not normally all like “look at what I’ve done” but when you want a book and 404 other people have commented, you do whatcha’ gotta’ do.
Glad the book has done so phenomenally well… not that any of are surprised! Congrats to you!
I really needed my Jenny therapy today…thanks!
Cheers, Dahling! I’ll be seeing you in Kansas City! I need a copy so I can give it to my friend who is all pissy that I’m making a special trip home to see you, even though she asks me to come visit regularly!
EEEEEEEEE is also the sound a slightly psychotic monkey makes when it is flinging poo. Or… you know… so I’ve heard…
pick meeeee! i cant see you in person because of a little thing called the pacific ocean. poop
Ooooh, me! Pick me!
PER-LEEEEZE come to Seattle again?? I promise not to be *too* stalker-y weird…but probably will be a little bit but that’s ’cause I can’t help it. At least I won’t be scary. PROMISE.
Pick me!!!! My daughter said she’d give me my copy back (you signed it for us in Boston), but somehow I’ve never seen it again!
I have so enjoyed watching you through this whole journey. You are a blessing, and I’m so happy for you!
awww… you were in NJ while I was in the Bahamas (guess I win on that one, huh? LOL!) but I wish I had your book while I was laying on the beach! Would love a copy!
Bought the paperback and missed seeing you in Naperville, IL so I would love an autographed copy!
You are amazing, Jenny. I loved your book more than anything else I read last year.
Wub you Louise! Oh you’re not Louise Erdrich. excuse me.
Thanks for making me laugh inappropriately on the commuter train, listening to the audiobook. I would love a signed copy of the book because I already own this:
https://mobile.twitter.com/JillMakesStuff/media/grid?idx=9&tid=302103188675375104
If you ever come to Upstate NY I will gladly teach you to knit condom pockets for errant 20 somethings.
You are not merely “a part” of a bizarre tribe, you are its inspiration! (You are also the reason I have a giant metal chicken in my courtyard. His name is Zoot.)
Thank you for all the laughs! You always make my day!
My husband pre-ordered your book in hard cover for me, which I’m pretty sure he regretted as I was laughing so hard I woke him up several times. Sadly, I lost the book in our house fire on February 1st. I would love a replacement, pick me!
Ooh ooh! Pick me! I came to your last tour but I can’t make it to this one!
I would totally be one of those nervous people, slowly realizing I actually related to the people around me, and feeling myself open up and Be Myself With Strangers! I’ve experienced this at Amanda Palmer shows, and I have her signed posters to remind me This Can Happen. I would love a signed book too 🙂
Would love the book and some cool taxidermy but, the book alone would be awesome.
So happy for your success!! I’ll be buying another copy (unless I win one) because I MUST read the bonus chapter!
After months of reading here, I thought I couldn’t tell if you were the type who would want me to beg, bribe or both, but I think I know the answer. Both. And alliteration counts for something, right?!? I would LOVE a copy!! (And totally share it…but only if I could watch over those people’s shoulder to make sure they didn’t steal it.)
Pick me!!!! Congrats on all of your success… You deserve it 🙂
As a member of the far-off and probably-never-will-be-visited-Australia, I would adore the next best thing – a signed copy of your delightful book.
In a world where everyone pretends to be sane, your existence is a wonderful reminder that it’s perfectly ok not to be. Long live ruined soufflés!
You say you’re “lucky to be a part of your bizarre tribe.” Lady, I think you’re the REASON for our bizarre tribe! Keep on keepin’ it real. <3
Pick me!
I don’t know her but it looks like Kari should win one. She sounds like a huge fan, buying all versions of your book. That’s my vote, if we get one : ).
I absolutely LOVE your book and blog!!!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Mememememememe! Uh, please 😀
I want to read the bonus chapter and then pass it along to friends to share the laughter. I’m not giving up my hardcover!
You deserve every bit of the success…We bought two digital copies and one hardcover…We’ll have to get the paperback so there is a complete set, I see. I say this as someone who has read your blog forever and watched this awesome progression to what you have achieved now. You are truly a member of the Double Unicorn Success Club.
I just got mine and now know my plans for the weekend! 🙂
You are fabulously hilarious! I would be so honored and would worship the book i were picked!
Hi Jenny! I would love a copy of your book, which I would never use as a coaster.
I’m sorry if I freaked you out in St. Louis. I couldn’t think of anything to say, so I sniffed you. You smelled really nice. You said it was Copernicus, but it was totally you. I would love another signed copy!
Congratulations!! And Yay the Tribe! I already *technically* have a paperback version of your book, but doesn’t matter, I’ll use this new one as “to-lend-to-friends-to-get-them-addicted” tool. ;-D
I need the actual book; I bought the nook book and laughed til I choked, but I couldn’t see the pictures cause I haven’t gone in to get my glasses even though the optometrist said I need them now and they are so teeny on the nook. Thanks!
Pick me! Pick me! I hope you come to Minneapolis on your tour again! It was great seeing you last time! 😀
I teach school and spring break is coming up. I need a copy of your book to take with me to the beach so I can read and laugh and read and laugh and read…….
I just downloaded your audiobook. It’s great. Duh. I’ve lent out my copy of your book to all of my friends. If they don’t like it, it’s really hard for me to find things to talk about anymore. Thank you for being you!
I can’t wait to see you in SF! Please pick me!
You are so awesome!! we are lucky to have you in our bizarre tribe. I also reeeaaally wanna read the extra chapter 🙂
I never win anything. Hell I can’t even win at the soda machine in my office – most days it just takes my money the same way a slot machine does. But I’d love a copy of your book!!!
I loved your hardcover very much and loaned it to a co-worker that STILL hasn’t returned it after far too long!! If I were to get a paperback, I’d be a little less bitter about my loss. Congrats, Jenny, and thank you for the giveaway!
Love your book! We read parts of it at work when we have had a particularly stressful day. (We work with K-5th graders). Thank you for the “healing thru humor” we get.
Totally awesome. This little tribe is a lifeline for so many. Your bad-assness inspires us all.
Loved, loved, loved the book when I read it last year and plan to read it again but I’m dying for the extra chapter.
I want to win! Pick me!
Ermygawd. I had to be a mom the night you were in Minneapolis (okay, technically Edina) last tour and couldn’t come. Please come back and/or gimme the book with the new chapter!
I have read the original version of your book twice now. It STILL makes me laugh out loud. Congratulations!!
Congratulations! What an awesome accomplishment!
Please pick me! I’m still slowly working my way through your book, because I’m using them as bedtime stories and sometimes I don’t get through a chapter. It is awesome and my husband and I are constantly in stitches.
Pick me! (since I already have the ahrdcoer and want to see the new bonus materials!