That’s what cats are for.

This weekend I walked upstairs to put up Hailey’s backpack and I found her and the cat asleep at the top of the stairs in the middle of the afternoon.  I woke her up and moved her into bed so she’d be more comfortable, and Hunter S. Thomcat got up all bleary-eyed and followed her into her bed and they both fell immediately back asleep in the same position.

This is the reason why people have cats.

sleeping

PS.  Please remind me of that at 3am when he knocks over or chews up everything we own with wild, kitty abandon.

PPS.  This is another reason:

Hunter

He totally knows what he’s doing to me here.

PPPS. Tomorrow morning I’m leaving to speak in Winnipeg and it’s currently negative eight degrees there.  I’ve never felt weather like that in my life, but my assumption is that I’m going to need to borrow a coat and that my feet will probably freeze and break off sometime during the weekend.  Someone send me a tauntaun and some of those necklaces you put on your tires.  And some tennis rackets that I can make into snow-shoes.  And some shoes to tie onto tennis rackets.  And a small sun to carry with me.   And a cocktail.

At this point I’d settle for just the cocktail.

301 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Enough cocktails and even I wouldn’t even care if my toes froze and broke off. I am cold enough now, may as well not be thirsty either.

  2. 2
    Cheryl in Wisconsin

    I’ve been enduring that kind of weather for much longer than I will allow myself to reflect upon. This winter has not been kind. Fortunately, I have three cats at home to help me warm up.

  3. Seven degrees here this morning. I’m writing from inside a tauntaun’s abdominal cavity. I really need to move south.

    Have fun in Canada, eh? Take off, hoser.

    Daddy Scratches recently posted The Week in Review: January 24, 2014 … a collection of bitching and moaning misleadingly presented as though it were part of an ongoing weekly feature that doesn’t really exist.

  4. The cold can be endured. It’s the wind that will kill you.

  5. I’m Canadian. Thankfully I live on the west coast (think Seattle weather). Even us Canucks refer to it as Winterpeg. Good luck. Careful with the cocktails though. Too many and you may freeze to death in a snow bank. Not a good way to go.

  6. I wonder who fell asleep first? Hailey or the cat? … It’s like Chicken or the Egg, except this one has an answer.

  7. Yes, it will definiltely be cold in Winnipeg, but apparently it’s a “dry cold” as opposed to a “damp cold” like we have in Ontario. Definitely long underwear weather, layer, layer, layer. Welcome to Canada!

    The photo of Hailey and Hunter S. Thomcat is one of the sweetest things I’ve seen this week. I wish I could have a cat, but I’m allergic to them, I have a pet rat, but she’s not much for the napping.

    Shelley recently posted Fake It Til You Make It.

  8. Welcome to Canada! We have cold weather and warm hearts! Wishing you safe travels and strong cocktails ;)

  9. Winnipeg MB? It’s currently -24 with a -34 windchill……you’ll need a few layers I’m thinking. We’re now heading into Farch up here……weather will be crap until middle of April.

  10. I’ve never been to Winnipeg but I live in Newfoundland and I’m still alive so I believe you can do it! A parka wouldn’t go astray though! Have fun in the polar vortex!

  11. I’ve never been to Winnipeg but I live in Newfoundland and haven’t lost a foot to frost bite yet so I believe you can do it! I recommend a parka though. Enjoy our polar vortex!

  12. WordPress is being mean. I tried commenting and it didn’t work, I forgot what I said and tried again and then they both showed up. Lisa fail.

  13. Be careful of those Tauntauns. Once dead, their bodies wills tart to cool to ambient temperature, and if you’ve been stuck in one you’ll soon be inside a very big, wet, meat Popsicle with the insulating properties of your clothing rendered useless by all the liquid soaking them.

    Matthew Miller recently posted Answering Kirk Hastings: Second Question for Darwinists.

  14. THAT’S WHAT WE FORGOT, TAUNTAUNS! My husband has a job interview “up north” (aka not in Texas, where we are), and I asked what he would need to survive the weather, and got all sorts of answers, but tauntauns were not on the list.

  15. Oh, goodness, that is precious. What a beautiful kitty.

  16. Oh, goodness – borrow a coat, but bring a hoodie and a sweater (at least) to put under it. And two pairs of gloves and a pair of mittens. And two scarves. And a hat. (underlayers, hat, scarf, overcoat, scarf is the layering technique.) And several pairs of the warmest socks you own. And wear tights and long johns under your pants.

    Seriously – all of that together. I live in the midwest, and have been walking to work in -10 degrees, and I’ve been okay. That should get keep you mostly warm.

  17. Note to self, patent and sell Tauntaun sleeping bags. And get a good lawyer in case George Lucas reads this.

    Shelley J recently posted Hey, my eyes are up here! Talking big boobs, Darwin and God.

  18. That is an incredibly adorable picture. I love how her arm is wrapped around him.

  19. I recommend you skip the cocktail in favor of a hot chocolate laced with kahlua or peppermint schnapps. And don’t worry, once you freeze you really don’t feel it.

  20. Just make sure you have a hat and scarf. Those help a lot.

    Hailey and Hunter are adorable. That truly is why we have our pets. They are awesome.

    Laurie recently posted How Animals are Better than People.

  21. Stay warm! I suggest mixing snow with Bailey’s..it’s like Winter’s milkshakes.

  22. Wear mittens; most gloves do not keep your hands warm enough. Also, wear a hat or at least a hood and scarf. The other morning at -3F my son said, “I think it feels warm enough for outside recess!”

  23. Or really…any Irish Creme. Seriously. It will keep you warm and make you happy

    Michelle recently posted OneChicklette Rocks.

  24. Every time you post a picture of Hunter S. Thomcat, I get a yearning for an orange tabby. Then my crazy Siamese does something insane and I wonder why I let these things into my house in the first place.

  25. Make sure you bring tissues… Your nose will run for a total of 5 seconds if you do not blow it your boogers will freeze up and you won’t be able to breathe also don’t cry or let your eyes water because if they do your eyes will freeze open forever!!!!

    The key is layers layers layers. It may make you look chubby but who cares!!!!! Five t-shirts and a hoodie two pairs of pants four layers of socks and three hats should do it.

  26. Love my furry kids too! Totally agree with the 2-4 in the morning Crazy Ass Cat time. Be careful on your trip. Drink lots of Brandy :)

  27. The cocktails will help! You could always keep some peppermint schnapps on you. It will warm you up and keep your breath fresh!

  28. 28
    Mikki Blueyes

    Honey it’s spelled Winnipeg (not Winnepeg). I live in the next province over (Saskatchewan). Try spelling that without screwing up. And two words – polar fleece. That’s how we survive around here. And a lot of booze. Come join the party :) I wish I could come to see you!!

  29. You’ll be fine – it’s a dry cold (heh heh).
    But in all seriousness, someone is meeting you at the airport, right? Make sure they understand that you have NO winter clothes. Winnipeggers usually have at least one spare set of everything, and you DO NOT want to go out without proper clothes, boots, etc.

  30. Different idea that won’t get me sued: make sleeping bags that look like giant kitty cats. So comfy and warm you’ll fall asleep on the stairs.

    Shelley J recently posted Hey, my eyes are up here! Talking big boobs, Darwin and God.

  31. I would agree, layering is key. And bring a hat. (Do you have a hat? Should I bring you one?) The good news is, it’s going up to -17C on the weekend!

  32. Be sure to schedule a massage for after you return. Every muscle in your body will be sore from shivering! Good luck!

  33. If you really want to crank things up around the house, get a dog to go with the cat. The six pound cat fits perfectly on my desk while I’m writing. The 46 pound Aussie, not so much. The jealousy is palpable.

    KLY recently posted Pinterest for Writers – INSPIRATION.

  34. I had a kitty, Max, who would sleep under my arm like that. I still miss him and the cuddling on cold nights. That picture got a giant “awwwww” from me.

  35. Insane that people can live in places like that and survive… One of my two besties lives in Ontario where the Lake Effect Something or Other really gets under her overcoat and into her boots. Crazy folks. I tried snow at Lake Tahoe half a dozen years ago and all I did was fall down. Stupid weather.

    Lynda Otvos recently posted "Super" Bowl.

  36. I’m from Saskatchewan, the province to the left of Winnipeg, Manitoba. I wish you were coming to my fair land!!! (P.S. It’s Winnipeg, not Winnepeg!! :))

  37. Also another Saskatchewanian here – wish I was closer, would love to come see you. Bundle up and welcome to Canada!

  38. Awwww…. That’s sweet.

  39. Oh you are definitely going to need bring your own tauntaun from home…although it might be tricky getting it through customs. Last time I was at the Winnipeg Airport they were completely sold out. However, I was able to buy a lovely beaver pelt hat.

    You might want to go with a really warm and long coat as a strong Plan B.

    Seriously, it is REALLY cold here. Winnipegers are actually excited that it is WARMING UP to -8 F tomorrow. We’re bringing out the nice weather for guests. Hopefully whatever bring you to the ‘Peg is fun and indoors.

  40. Totes adorbs as the youngins’ would say! ;)

    The Dose of Reality recently posted Kids Are Exhausting And Make My Head Hurt.

  41. They don’t call it “Winterpeg” for nothing.

    Layers, layers, layers. And no exposed skin. If you ever wanted to wear one of those serial-killer facemasks, this is your excuse.

  42. Welcome to Canada, where your dog sticks to fire hydrants and tongues are scarred from sticking them to your jacket zipper over and over again because it’s like crack.
    -8 is t-shirt weather. Time to man up.
    Or grab a hot toddy. That helps. There’s rum in every Canadian’s blood. (Or if there’s not, there should be.)

  43. Aw… this makes me almost like cats. ALMOST. Maybe this specific cat.

  44. You need to know that -8 (F or C) in Winnipeg this time of year is a warm spell. And it will be windy. Hope your will is updated. Not the paper, your steely inner determination to overcome all odds. Have fun. Said nobody going to Winnipeg ever.

  45. And depending on the time of day and his particular temperament at the time, that belly rub invitation could totally be a trap of wrap-myself-around-your-arm-and-try-to-disembowel-your-hand proportions.

    maitriscraps recently posted New Products ~ Coconut Lime Verbena Restock & New Cherry Almond.

  46. -8 is just too damn cold! At least summer is on it’s way. Hopefully it won’t be some “summer vortex” shit where people will have to suffer through all the temperatures of Hell!

    Rhonda recently posted Is Being Liberal Really a Bad Thing?.

  47. You need to see “Sad Cat Diary” on YouTube – mandatory viewing for all cat owners.

  48. I grew up in Winnipeg. You couldn’t pay me enough to go back, especially this time of year. Although I do remember one year having an outdoor Hawaiian luau party in someone’s backyard at the end of January. Many trips back indoors, and extreme amounts of alcohol were involved. And when I say “remember” I mean I have pictures to prove it happened, but otherwise…

    I think there’s a question on some DSM-V screening test about voluntarily going to Winnipeg in the middle of winter. So next time if someone asks you “are you fucking crazy?” you have a new answer to add to your repertoire, “why yes, yes I am, I went to Winnipeg at the end of January”.

  49. I just adopted a rescue pup, and my cat loves him! Now they both stretch out on the couch, bellies exposed, and look at me plaintively…

    kharmadia recently posted Belle and the Magic Healing Power.

  50. 50
    capitalbsabrina

    I thought that said RUE MY BELLY, which I find much more appropriate for my emotions anytime I try to rub a cat’s belly.

  51. Lotion. Lots of lotion. Your skin will dry to a crisp in minutes. My knuckles crack and bleed every time I visit my parents in Michigan in the winter. This Houston boy does not handle cold well. And it’s amazing how much warmer you will feel after lathering yourself with lotion.

    And saline spray for your nose. Otherwise every time you blow, it will bleed. And hard candy or gum to keep your mouth moist. It’s all about keeping things from drying out. The dryness is more brutal than the cold.

  52. You will need gloves, a hat, and a scarf along with that coat. Keep as much of your skin covered as possible when you are outside. And yes, even then you will still be cold.

    Stay warm, or as warm as possible. :)

  53. Three things I love about this post. 1. The pic of Hailey and HST. 2. Necklaces for your tires.
    3. A small sun to carry with me. good luck in the cold. I live in Chicago and it’s been in the negative 20’s with the windchill. Brutal. Can’t be outside for more than 5 minutes or your eyeballs freeze over. Bring a northface coat, some uggs, and my personal preferance, a cashmere scarf and gloves. You’ll be fine for the few minutes you’re outside. Don’t have these? stop in Chicago on your way and I’ll loan you mine. :)

  54. cats are beyond great. next time go to Canada in the summer? then you will only need a warm coat, gloves, a warm sun, a Sherpa, a thermal face cover, and…….so, next time you go to Canada have Canada come to texas?

  55. Stay warm with layers for sure. I have always hated winter, yet here I am living in winter country. Running a business that depends on winter. Go figure. I’m pretty sure that humans weren’t invented to live where it’s cold, because, hello–NO FUR.

    And I agree that cats are the perfect little roommates, except when they say “hork”.

    stef recently posted I've Got Your New Years Resolution Inspiration, Right Here.

  56. Holy cow, that first pic is aDORable. I bet you swooned from the cuteness.

  57. Adorable picture of Hailey and Hunter S. Thomcat. They are both so sweet.

    As a fellow sufferer of RA, I would suggest hand warmers as well. You can buy them at any sports store or places like Target/Walmart. I keep them inside my gloves or mittens and it helps with the joint pain from the cold. They make them for toes too.

    Safe travels Jenny!

    Beth

  58. And chapstick, or some kind of lip balm. Your lips will crack otherwise. But we are all surviving this and you will too.

  59. I live in Nebraska. The weather keeps breaking records for sub zero temps this year. I recommend stocking up on the hand warmer/foot warmer packets you can buy at the hardware store. Throw them in your shoes and in your gloves and you will survive!

  60. Had I known you were coming, I’d have baked you a cake! I would be happy to lend you a parka, some snow pants, and several scarves and toques. And mittens. And a space heater. I do hope you enjoy our fair city and let me know if you’d like to come over for a nice hot cup of tea.

  61. I live in Winnipeg and how did I not know you were coming here? Where are you speaking? I need to be there!

  62. A cat asking you to rub it’s belly IS ALWAYS A TRAP! Beware friend, beware!

    Lauren recently posted Zombies 2.0: A Musical Year in Review.

  63. Welcome to Winnipeg – we can’t figure out why we live here either! It’s been -50 here pretty much every day since Christmas…
    Silently crying in the corner

    Allison recently posted Sharing.

  64. Just think of the bragging rights you’ll have by spending some time in Winnipeg. I’m in Minnesota and it’s been a long while since we’ve had weather like we do this winter. I feel hardy. Cocktails help!

  65. 65
    SqualorHouseGail

    Awww….the both of them are SO CUTE!!!!! (Caps are required for squealing)

    As a midwesterner, I second all the recommendations for hat, mittens (warmer than gloves), scarf but personally, I recommend a coat/jacket with DOWN filling (if you can borrow one). The down traps the warm air around your body and you shouldn’t really need any extra layers underneath it.

    Stay warm and and report back how it goes!!!

  66. I currently live in Calgary, Alberta (2 provinces to the left of Manitoba) and I have experienced some pretty chilly winters. Don’t worry, the igloo gets pretty warm if you all cuddle up under the bear skin together.

    Ashley recently posted My new mug.

  67. 67
    MaryHS in Central CT

    First off that staircase photo is beautiful. Absolutely lovely…. wishing right now that the phrase “stairway to heaven” wasn’t actually a downer of a song.

    Good luck with Winnipeg! A related story that I would like to share… Our local radio station interviewed one of the singers from Ladysmith Black Mombazo this morning. They will be performing in Connecticut this weekend. He was asked how he is handling the cold, and he that he was very interested, so he went for a long walk outside just to feel what it would be like.

    I understand the fascination… when I was in Norway in the summer, I went for a midnight walk just because I was fascinated that the sun hadn’t gone down. Of course it was about 50 degrees not 5 below…

  68. Yay! Cats are the best. Seriously.
    My cat growing up did this to my brother all the time. My mum called her a tse tse cat.

    Also – my mum is from Winnipeg.

    It’s like I KNOW you!

  69. Adorable photo of Hailey and Hunter S. Thomcat. My cat DaVinci is the sweetest little thing. She’s asleep next to me right now. I’m one of those crazy pug people, but I’ve gotta say, I love me some cat too. Stay warm! Have a Hot Toddy. No wine slushies this weekend. ;) Also? I’m SO pumped that you’re going to be at BlogHer14!

    Linda Roy recently posted Deport Bieber! ( And Please Take Celine).

  70. Aaaaw… just take Hunter S. Tomcat with you, and all will be well. Ok, maybe not. That’s where the cocktail will come in. Happy trails!

  71. I’m in MN right now which is almost Winnipeg. It is blizzarding.

    Don’t go out with wet hair, and dab in any facial moisture w a Kleenex stat as it will all freeze. Layer up, drive slowly, walk carefully. Bring one of your cats. I keep mine on my lap at all times possible. Best warmer ever. Too bad he spazzes in the car.

    Ethne Hedren Denham recently posted V-DAY MANTEL!.

  72. Ohhhh…. I love you. That’s all I have.

  73. Well, have fun in Winterpeg. Dress in layers and I can’t speak highly enough about Toastie Toes foot warmers. I wear them when reffing ice hockey. They are amazing. http://beingsmokey.blogspot.com/2013/04/were-all-beds-to-cats.html

  74. Just bring lots of clothes and plan to layer.

    Bring a full set of thermals, tops and bottoms, and relatively loose-fitting clothing that will fit over them.

    Bring heavy boot socks and shoes that are compatible.

    Bring sweaters/sweatshirts that have zippers/buttons on the front. That way you can adjust for heat when you go inside without pulling stuff over your head.

    Bring a very long scarf so that you can use it as a mask, wrap it behind your head, then into your coat to secure it.

    Bring lots of relatively thin layers rather than one super-heavy coat. Trust me.

    Bring shoes that work in snow; light boots. Bring good thin gloves that you can manipulate keys in without taking them off.

    Your cat/kid photo is awesome. That’s wonderful.

    Stay warm, good luck!

  75. Yup, it’s darned cold up here. Nice and sunny though! Suggestions – bring extra socks, layered socks help keep your feet warm. If your legs get cold easy, wear panty hose under your pants (thinner than long johns, and they help). Your hands will get cold, bring mitts if you have, and gloves. Also, if you have hand/wrist warmers they are awesome. Other than that, a jacket (or tons of sweaters) and a toque (knit hat) should keep you warm. Currently my jacket is a heavy fall jacket (I need a new one) with a warm sweater under and it keeps me warm – even when we hit -45.

    Also, skip the cocktail, most places will make you an “adult” hot chocolate, coffee, rum toddy, etc… :)

  76. You might want to peek at my Polar Vortex Survival Tips
    and bring your cat along for warmth!

    susielindau recently posted How to Survive the Polar Vortex.

  77. Don’t forget a “wicking” layer to soak up the sweat underneath all those layers. Not cotton!

  78. In Canada, they speak Celsius. That’s just like 18 American degrees. You’ll probably survive.

  79. Sadly, that -8 is likely before the wind chill. I’m probably not helping, am I? huddles closer to space heater

  80. Are they providing a translator for you? I’m not sure people in Winnipeg speak Texan. Best of luck and hot buttered rum.

  81. Someone else probably already said this, but they* need to invent a cocktail called a Tire Necklace.

    (* – Whoever’s in charge of those sorts of things. I assume it’s someone in Florida.)

  82. Are they providing a translator for you? I don’t think the citizens of Winnipeg speak Texan. Best of luck and hot buttered rum.

  83. Have fun in Winnipeg – I have only been there once. It was February. That was the first place I ever experienced having all the hair inside my nose freeze when I inhaled. It’s a weird sensation. Now I live in Calgary and it happens periodically through the winter. I also had my first Beavertail there (surprisingly not dirty – it’s a delicious deep-fried dessert). I recommend it highly.

  84. Back when I was a kid … our feet would get so cold they’d freeze and crack off, leaving us to stump around on our frozen leg-bottoms. Well, ankles, I guess.

    We also walked ten miles uphill to and from school everyday. And television had just been invented. Ahhhh…the good old days.

  85. 85
    mollyduggerbrennan

    Are they providing a translator for you? I’m not sure the citizens of Winnipeg speak Texan. Best of luck and hot buttered rum.

  86. Pshaw. I’ve been ice fishing when it was 20 below. It is related to another incident whereby I imbibed a large quantity of blackberry brand and subsequently dis-imbibed it.
    Hint: Do not buy me blackberry brandy as a gift.

    NosmoRex recently posted My Acting Résumé.

  87. That is the sweetest picture, ever. Awwwww…..

  88. So they make these little chemical packs that get warm, and you can put them in your pockets or mittens to warm up your hands. They make the kind you can stick to yourself, now, to keep your core warm. I advise investing in some.

    When people say “layers,” that means at least 2 layers over your arms AND legs. If you have pants that fit loosely enough you can wear PJ pants under them, bring those and a spare set of PJ pants. If you don’t, you’ll have to invest in thermals. Get a thermal shirt AND pants. I’m used to the cold, and I don’t go outside in winter without thermal pants under my real pants. I’ve lost feeling in my thighs that way.

    Minimize exposed skin. Mittens or gloves, hat, scarf, socks that cover your ankles. Bring an extra pair of shoes and socks, in case your feet get wet. Change out of wet clothes as soon as you can.

    You CAN survive the cold, but you’ll be a lot more comfortable if you’re prepared for it. Even a quick trip from the car to a door a few steps away is agony in the cold if you’re not dressed for it.

    Alice K. recently posted Progress: Fast Forward.

  89. Cats emit powerful sleep rays. If you lie down in the presence of a cat, you will fall asleep. Hunter has clearly trapped Hailey in his vortex of snuggly snooze!

  90. Wear boots, frostbite is a bitch.

    (I live in MN and we’ve been in the negative 50’s (that’s including windshield – without it, oh, it’s only been like negative 30’s). This is spring weather! (miserable sobs)

    I was overjoyed that yesterday hit 20 degrees ABOVE 0. Because, hello! Still below freezing BUT NO FACE MASK REQUIRED. My lungs didn’t even hurt when I breathed outside. Woot.

    So, good luck.

    And try straight vodka. You won’t even notice the cold after a bottle or two. (You’ll also not remember your visit.)

  91. Remember to take nose clips. According to Han, it smells really bad if the tauntaun doesn’t make it and you have to crawl inside.
    (And I never again have to question whether I am a Star Wars geek).

    Jen @ BB2Boulder recently posted She’s supposed to kill the spiders!.

  92. Winnipeg – come for the culture, stay ’cause your car won’t start.

    I’m sure someone will meet you at the airport with some sort of suitable winter jacket. Bring gloves. If you don’t have any, buy some in the airport. Don’t go outside with bare hands! The rest of you will make it unscathed but your hands will freeze instantly and be painful.

    Wish you were coming to Ontario. I’d love to see/meet you and I’d happily outfit you in winter gear right at the airport.

  93. 93
    Suzy Soro (@HotComesToDie)

    I played Winnipeg once and those Canucks kept plying me with booze for hours after the show. I kept saying, ENOUGH, YOU’RE GOING TO KILL ME, and then I thought maybe they were because they didn’t like my comedy but NO, all Canadians can drink anyone under the table. Their beer is so much stronger than American beer and I kept ordering it thinking it had to be weaker than the anti-freeze they were drinking. I was wrong.

    At 2 am they escorted me to one of their cars (where I prayed I’d be kidnapped by warm, sober people) and they UNPLUGGED the car from the outside bar plug because if you don’t keep your cars plugged in in the winter, your battery dies and you’re fucked.

    Happy trails.

  94. What’s the internal temperature of a tauntaun?

    Luke warm.

  95. This morning my cat tried to lick some of the milk from my cereal… out of my mouth. We are working on boundaries.

  96. Aaaw! That’s such a lovely picture!
    We don’t have a cat, so our similar pictures are with teddy, which isn’t quite the same but is adorable.

    Is that -8 in c or f? We had -20 in celcius a couple of years ago, and we’re all still complaining about it. We did get to make snowmen though. This year we had no snow and so we’re all complaining about that.

    April recently posted Planning a Wizard of Oz birthday party.

  97. Did you vacuum the stairs before you took that picture? If not, I hate you.

  98. My husband refuses to get my a cat. I might just replace him with one.

  99. There is never a good time to visit Winnipeg. Ever.
    Good luck and stay warm. Canadian Club whisky should help.

    nancytex2013 recently posted year two: keep on keepin’ on.

  100. Sounds like Michigan weather … have fun with that :P we’re just now climbing out of the negative temps.

    Liz recently posted GIVEAWAY: Monster Jam is back, March 1st at Ford Field! #MJDetroit.

  101. Stay warm….brrr…Winnipeg. I survived -8 with windchill of -40 and I had to put a scarf over my mouth and my breath made ice! And glasses suck when you go from below zero outside to 70 inside and vice versa.

    gem recently posted Superhero.

  102. Gotta love those morning treasure hunts after our rescue Seeley has managed to knock jewelry, cell phone and glasses off of my night stand on a middle of the night rampage. Have you ever tried to find your glasses when you have no glasses so you can see??? But then he looks at me with those big blue eyes and I just melt.

  103. Cute. More importantly, I really think we should plan (quickly) a Bloggess and fans field trip to someplace warm for us East Coasters. Who is interested? I’m in. Come on Jenny, consider it a business trip. :)

    hibernationnow.wordpress.com recently posted Orange U Glad TO Meet Me?.

  104. I live in Michigan. We had a little something called the “Polar Vortex” going on and it got down to -35…I would take -8 in a heartbeat…and that in itself is sad. <3 I love everything about this post!

  105. Get a whole bunch of those chemical heat thingies. One in each pocket. One in your hat (wear a hat). One on the back of your neck in your scarf. You can get them from Amazon by the gross–have them shipped to your hotel since you’re out of time and anyway those nice NSA folks at the airport might have a problem with them. An alternate idea I’ve used successfully is to use microwaveable heat packs. They have also invented battery powered socks, apparently.

    Also, your nose is gonna run like a startled deer. Put some tissues in the front of your scarf which will be wrapped loosely around your nose and mouth because that cold air is painful to breathe. When your nose wants to run right off your face, the tissues will be right where you need them. Use the soft ones because you will be rubbing your nose a lot.

    You’re welcome.

  106. http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/bb2e/ use. Overnight shipping and have it waiting at your hotel. Mythbusters tested then tantaun as a snow shelter recently and were surprised how effective it was short term…..

  107. Being that I’m originally from the ND/MN, this is commonplace weather for me. I recommend buying a couple pairs of long johns, a couple pairs of thermal socks, bring your snow boots, and a poofy jacket like you might see on an Eskimo. You may also want to consider buying those disposable hand and foot warmers you can get at Walmart (probably Target, too). And try not to show up at your thingy all wasted and whatnot. :)

  108. Also, my husband said to tell you that , if you’re lucky, you will be rubbing Hunter S. Tomcat’s belly when he is 19, like our puppycat Snit (the Feline of Unusual Size).

  109. I love cats for that reason and more. They are so genuine with their affections. They’re also little healers. Our cats have a way of gravitating towards whatever is hurting on our bodies and kneading them into relaxation. I guess that makes them massage kitties.

    Buy thermal underlayers and thermal socks. They’ll help keep you warm. Just don’t layer up so much that you have arm-dysfunction like the little brother in “The Christmas Story.” ;-)

  110. 110
    Shelly Baldwin

    I can’t help with the weather, but I can help with the tauntauns.

  111. This morning I woke up to my cat sleeping next to me and trilling a bit when I pet her. So I tried to snuggle and she started biting and kicking my hand, even when I tried to move away. So I pushed her off the bed (or at least tried) and told her she was being an asshole. After that she laid down on my chest and purred and we enjoyed some time together before I actually got up.

  112. Btw what kind of sadistic agent sends a human to Canada in winter? You may as well give a talk in a coking version of hell…..

  113. Is that in Canadian (i.e. Celcius) or weirdo imperial? Imperial makes me think storm troopers. So when ever someone gives me measures in feet, inch, miles, pounds etc I get the theme in my head. Dum dum dum, dumdee dum dum dum….

    -8c isn’t “that” bad. Says the girl on the west coast where is warmer and sunny and you can ski in a light shirt.

    People do say they spent a week in Winnipeg one afternoon for a reason. Although skating on the river there looks amazing. And it’s one time of year that there are no mosquitos or black flies.

    And no smuggling back kinder surprise eggs.

  114. Basically, don’t be out in that weather for more than 10 minutes at a time. And/or wear several cats.

  115. Your agent might be trying to kill you. I mean…why else would s/he send you there?

  116. So sweet. My cat sleeps with my daughter every night. Either he gets over her daytime tortures by bedtime, or he recognizes that her sleeping status makes her a benign sleeping companion.

    Tara recently posted 100 Posts Later.

  117. I grew up in Manitoba, and lived in Winnipeg for 11 years. I definitely second all the comments recommending tons of layers, and “special” coffee in lieu of a cocktail. You’re lucky though – the forecast looks pretty nice compared to what we sometimes get in January! (Think -40 BEFORE the wind chill factor!) Stay warm, and have fun! :)

  118. http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/bb2e/

    I’ll just…leave this here…
    Enjoy Winnepeg! It’s snowing and blustery and COLD here in southern MN, we’re hitting positive temps for the first time in what seems like AGES. Brrr.

  119. Welcome to Winnipeg!!!! It’s not so bad here, I swear… Unless maybe you’re from Texas… hmmm. Well, don’t worry, you won’t be outside long anyways. Airport to car, car to hotel, you know the drill. A scarf for over your head and around your neck and a few layers and you’re set!
    I wish I was able to come see you, but you can crash at my house if you want, my cat Dexter is a twin for Hunter S. and would make you feel right at home, lol!
    We’re a very friendly bunch here and will make sure you have some great food and a great time in our chilly city!

  120. 121
    Bernice Goertzen

    Yes, Winnipeg is a bitch at this time of year, but we love “The Bloggess” and we are very friendly and “warm” people. We will welcome you with open arms and hand-knitted scarves. I wish you could come here in summer, it is wonderful!

  121. Winnepeg is so lucky! Your hilarious humor will radiate so much warmth and good will, the entire town’s temperature will rise to a lovely 70 degrees! :o)

  122. That is so sweet…. Not the losing your toes and feet part, but the photo.
    That is going to be some cold weather. Lots and lots of booze to keep warm, didn’t some people survive the Titanic because of the booze in their system? Either way, it’s worth a try. Have a safe trip!

  123. D’aaawwwwww…sweetest picture ever at the top. Between this post, the Budweiser super bowl ad, and the Take a Chance on Me SPCA video, it’s a great week for animal stuff on the intertoobs. <3

    Kelly @ Cibatarian recently posted Flying Dog Brewery.

  124. Viking hell that is. …… darn autocorrect

  125. Kitteh belleh!

  126. There actually is a tauntaun sleeping bag! http://www.amazon.com/Star-Wars-Tauntaun-Full-Sleeping/dp/B00A2URI7G

    I live in Ontario (land of Lake Effect Snow). Eyeglasses can be problem when you go from very cold outside to warm inside. Either have tissues ready to wipe them off or better yet a spare pair kept warm in an inside pocket.

  127. I’ve lived most of my life in Winnipeg and even I don’t want to go out in the weather we’ve been having for the past couple of weeks. Seriously, if someone is not meeting you at the airport with a snowmobile suit, wool socks, and one of those Russian fur hats that looks like road kill, talk to Kathy at NMM. Or DM me and I will try to find you something. Oh, and it probably it goes without saying, but wear pants, not a skirt or dress. Also, we are all out of tauntauns.

    Sean Sandulak recently posted Gods and Angels Month on the Vaginal Fantasy Hangout.

  128. Ah It’s warmed up there! I’m Canadian, been snowed in for 4 days ,hwy’s closed just opened today in one direction! & yes get some warm boots, snowmobile suit & boots are the fashion !

  129. I wish I would have known you were coming here sooner. As cold as you imagine it will be, double it. Our taxidermy isn’t kept on a shelf or wall, we stuff it with people and parade it out on the streets!

  130. I hate to tell the earlier commenter, but someone already invented tauntaun sleeping bags. Google it and see. P.S. They keep you lukewarm.

    bipolarjan recently posted Hillbilly Bashing.

  131. I was going to say that you should totally bring back some Kinder Eggs. But according to this:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinder_Surprise

    the fine per egg can be up to $2500!

    I always brings my friends Kinder Eggs when I visit them in Canada’s basement. Except if anyone from US Customs is reading this. Then I have never ever brought Kinder Eggs into the States. Or Cuban made cigars.

    Be sure to have a Nanaimo bar and to go to Tim Hortons.

  132. OMG – Could you take Wolf Blitzer to Winterpeg?

  133. Adding my vote for the chemical heat thingies, but don’t forget your feet. They help tremendously — just don’t put them on your skin directly, stick them to your socks.

    Love the nap attack picture. One of my favorite (future blackmail) pics of my son is from when he was around 3 and had a nap attack by our back steps while playing with his toy truck. Little guy could not even make it inside the house before the sandman struck.

  134. I was in Winnipeg a while ago and I agree, you need cocktails. Hot ones.

  135. 136
    Linda Workman

    Cat and baby girl, adorable. Items needed for talk in Winnipeg, hilarious. It’s been -15 here in St. Louis (with wind chill) and let me just say, there is a temperature when it doesn’t matter what the thermometer says, it’s just fucking cold. I don’t know what temperature that is, because it really doesn’t matter. Just know that a. boogers freeze, b. it takes your breath away, c. you’re face bones start to hurt, d. it makes you involuntarily hunch up your shoulders so when you arrive indoors, your trapezius muscles are all spasmed up, e. one pair of pants feels like you’re just wearing pantyhose. Borrow a fur or a sheepskin coat, that is the only way.

  136. 137
    Jamie McMillan

    Definitely cold in Winnipeg right now. Wear a parka, and a warm hat, and gloves, and oh say 5 scarves!

  137. Perfect excuse for one of those funky, desert cocktails. Order a hot toddy when you get there.

  138. Negative eight is soooo warm in for winter in Winnipeg…it’s usually -24ish with wind chill up to -30s. Get in and out before it drops. Seriously.

  139. Jenny…no worries. Eight below is exactly like eight above…only sixteen degrees lower. Just a tip, don’t freak out if your nose hairs freeze and start to crackle. It’s normal.

  140. The ‘Peg is arguably the coldest place in Canada. As a resident Canuck, I wish you luck, offer my sympathies, and can assure you, you will find plenty of cocktails, but the perennial favourite will be a Crown&Coke. Also, animals and children are awesome.

  141. Sweetest picture ever….like she was so tired she couldn’t even go to her bedroom.

  142. I do believe that might be one of the cutest pictures I’ve ever seen. You are a lucky lady to have such a beautiful family. Every single picture you post of Hailey is filled with a sense of pure joy and love of life – brightens my day without fail. Thank you for making the world a more lovely place.

    I also giggle every time I read your cats’ names. There is nothing like a good giggle to get the day going.

  143. 144
    Judith Smith

    Winnipeg in January? Did you lose a bet? Bundle up and take care!

  144. I live in Winnipeg. Its cold here. Dress as warmly as you can. Or, dress twice as warmly as you can.

  145. It’s 14 degrees here, warmed up from the low this morning. No one here is prepared for the schizoid weather we’ve been having this winter. Layers are your friends.

    Eva recently posted Life In Dialogue.

  146. 147
    Tammy Fotinos

    That is why I love cats too. My heart is all melty right now.

  147. When you are in the negative weather, just do the cold scream. Which means to scream until you feel a little warmer. It works! Or maybe it’s all the people staring that make me forget I’m freezing.

    Alie Kriofske recently posted Facebook Sabbatical.

  148. I tried to find a link to my story A VERY SMART CAT as a single you and your fine readers can download, but apparently it’s only available as part of the full CD on which it appeared. So I’m including the link in the hope that when people see the ridiculous cover of the CD and know that there is a story about a beautiful, orange striped cat named Jojo Precious Tiger Kitty, The Cat Who Could Tell Time on the CD, they might order it as a CD or a download and enjoy that story. I hope that’s not out of line. http://www.amazon.com/A-Very-Smart-Cat/dp/B002GTYU54

  149. You can borrow mine! I’m all stocked up from the grocery store (Meijer) and ready for the next snowstorm here in the midwest…appropriately named “Maximus”.

  150. Awe, that’s a precious picture! My Howie cat looked just like him, and while he was a holy terror, he was also my best friend. I miss him terribly, so give your kitty an extra hug for me!

    Malia recently posted My cat has a crush on Dean Winchester.

  151. I don’t think I’m much help for normal people when it comes to dressing properly for winter, cause when it was around 0 degrees not too long ago, I still wore shorts to work.

  152. Ok, so that;s just adorable. The weather you’re going to deal with…not so much. You should take your wolf coat.

    Jess recently posted Sleepover Friends #4: Patti's New Look.

  153. I too thought it said “Rue my belly” at first glance.
    BTW, Winnipeg? Really? What were you thinking? Of course…it was 8 degrees here in Alabama last night. 8. That’s insane here. Also, we’ve been trapped in the house since “Winter Gridlock” happened on Tuesday and we’re starting to get on each other’s nerves.
    But what I started out to say…even though they are butt-ugly as hell…Ugg boots really do keep your toes all toasty and warm. I’ve worn an old pair of my daughter’s in this cold, cold weather and I’ve had to take back every nasty thing I ever said about them.

    Marianne recently posted Ode to my blue bra.

  154. I live on the north shore of Lake Superior and its been fucking! cold here. Monday was -22 with a windchill of -45. But I have to say the coldest I have ever been in my life was when I was up in Winnipeg one November. With that said there is a great sushi place on Broadway. It’s in an old house, which is extremely creepy (like “The Grudge” creepy). If you go, sit up stairs as you eat traditional style.

  155. Sooo cute! Yay kitty cuddles :)

  156. Just know that tons of people live there (and much colder) and they’re okay. (I’m one.)
    When you get there, many places will sell disposable hand-warmers, which you can then use in shoes/gloves, or anywhere else you find your clothing lacking in protection :)

  157. A friend of mine shared this with me…I’m not one to read blogs, but this was so sweet, so funny, so true and insanely well written. The picture is more than precious! May you not become “frozen in time” and survive the trip!

  158. We’re moving from MN to Houston, TX this spring because…weather. (And school for husband, but mostly weather). -30 makes everyone bitchy and stupidly proud of their “survival” skills. Ugh. Have fun in Winnipeg! Winter is far less annoying when you only have to deal with it as a novelty, right?

    Jess at No Pithy Phrase recently posted It's a Stephen King Story...In Reverse.

  159. awwww…..so cute

  160. Cats rock. But so does Canada. Hope you’re having fun! Or at least aren’t freaking out!

    Jenny Williams recently posted The Evolution of IKEA (AKA My Happy Place).

  161. Us Yukoner’s are like WTF… it’s the Tropical Vortex here! For years and years and years while living above the arctic circle and now for the past dozen in Whitehorse (next to Alaska y’all), I’ve endured endless shitty winters of no freakin sun, -40 (that’s the same in Celcius and Farenheit.. just a tid bit of info there for ya) and endless frozen toes, fingers, eye lashes, and yes boogers… This has been our warmest winter on record so far, and well, what can we say but … neeener neeener neeeeeeener! Don’t get to gloat to often, but when we do, we totally go for it. My dear Jenny, us Yukoner’s would love to have you come up and speak in the capital, … I can guarantee it’ll be much warmer than Winterpeg! bwahahaha…
    PS… Love Hunter… he’s almost identical in looks and mannerisms to my Oskar! Cheers!!!

  162. Welcome! You’re coming to where I live! Just wear some warm clothes plus something to cut the wind. Wear a hat (I belive they call them beanies where you are?) and mittens! And take a cab, don’t try to walk!

    What are you doing in Winnipeg?

  163. you should get some of those hand warmer things where you crack it and it stays warm for a few hours.. keep ‘em in your jacket pockets for whenever you have to go outside.

  164. You haven’t factored in the wind… Tomorrow will feel like -31. Have fun! Wear a scarf over your mouth so you can breath!

  165. I’ve lived in Alaska. SmartWool socks are the secret to happiness. And a cute hat that snuggles your ears.

  166. I’m in Minnesota, just below good old Winnipeg. My friend, who is from there,says that what she recalls of the winters of her of her youth is that her body hurt all the time. In all seriousness, -8 is the temperature, the windchill is going to be profoundly lower. Winnipeg is on the plains. There is nothing stopping the wind for hundreds of miles. You might want to borrow more than a coat.

    That kind of cold is not as fun as it sounds–and it doesn’t sound very fun.

  167. 168
    thefishiologist

    Get your photo taken at the corner of Portage and Main – arguably the coldest place in Canada :). Have fun (from northern British Columbia)

  168. 169
    Kelly Lacey

    As an Atlantic Canadian, -8 degrees in January sounded downright balmy… then I remembered, ahhh, Fahrenheit. Have fun in the ‘Peg.’ I think it is time for you to hit the Canadian East coast.

  169. That sweet picture totally made me teary. My daughter is 15 and a lot of the sweet is gone outta this chewing gum, if you know what I mean. Oh the days of sweet naps with kitties….

  170. Welcome to Canada!!!

  171. LOVE THIS!!!! When I was in college 10 years ago, my (then) kitten would snuggle with me wherever I passed out (including the bathroom floor some nights)… Now that I am older and married (and don’t drink nearly as much, most of the time), she passes out with me on the couch and when the hubby wakes me up to move to the bedroom, and in a similar fashion, we both wobble to the bedroom all bleary-eyed and collapse in the same intertwined human/kitty ball we had just been in. She never wakes me up…. however, her litter-mate and my spoiled little boy is in charge of the 2 am running/jumping/climbing invisible trees on the bed, 3 am plastic-chewing, and 4 am belly rubs…. I thought it was just a phase and maybe after he outgrew kitten-hood, he’d settle down and sleep like her sister… but no…. 11 years old and going strong. O_o

  172. You need Cuddleduds (thin thermal underwear, almost pretty); take clothes you can layer, a cami or tank top under a long sleeve tshirt under a thick sweatshirt or sweater. Speaking of, take sweaters. Double up the socks. Hit a gas station and ask if they have any pocket hand warmers.

  173. 175
    Wendy Roberts

    OMG! That is so adorable! I have so many pictures of my family members cuddled with our cats. Warms my heart! And when our current cat lays down in front of the woodstove and presents her belly with wide eyes….Who can resist?!

    As for Winnipeg, well, I would like to say you will be fine… But well, who am I kidding! I live in Canada and we talk in hushed voices about cold Winnipeg winters….brrrrrrr! Kidding, you will be fine! (but bring that tauntaun just in case!)

  174. 176
    Helene Weatherfield

    Love the picture of Haley and Hunter S. Tomcat. That truly is what cats are for! I don’t live in a very cold climate, but I agree with Marsha above, SmartWool socks are a necessity. One the best purchases I’ve ever made.

  175. 177
    Furry Bean Bag

    That photo just made all my mid day stress just melt away. It made me think of my little orange tabby, laying in my arms with his nose in my ear purring away. His purring makes me relax and fall right to sleep. There is nothing like the peace of a cat.

  176. Psst….it’s currently 71 degrees here in Las Vegas. In case you were looking for some place warm to go after that bitter cold.

  177. Aaaawwwww! Hold on, I’ll recover… Hunter S. Thomcat shows he’s also a big-ol’ ginger teddy bear, or teddycat… and I have a cute overload. Haley’ s cute doesn’t help!

  178. Aw, what a sweet photo! And, Good luck in Winnipeg! You should take those hand warmer things and keep them in your pockets and shoes.

  179. So many people underestimate how emphathetic cats can be. I’ve just been diagnosed with depression (which has been building for the last six months), and my 17 year old cat just seems to KNOW. Whenever I’m alone in my flat he finds any way he can to cuddle up to me and purr. When I saw your picture of Hailey and HST my immediate reaction was tears to my eyes, because it’s clear they have a very special relationship. Plus, gingers are awesome…best personalities of any cat out there. My ginger, Henry, is a sweet, shmooshy, adorable lunatic.

    As an expat living in London (I’m from Philly), I am constantly amazed at the British idea of “cold”. But I guess if you live in Texas you’re as unfamiliar with said cold and windchills as the Brits are.

  180. So cute! This morning I could not comment on this and I’ve been sad all day. But I blame the moon, which I see from Facebook is supposed to be a Black Moon tonight. That might explain a few things. Stay warm! Wear layers! And drink hot toddies. (Whatever the hell a toddy is.)

    Steph recently posted Blog for Mental Health Project.

  181. Oh Em Gee, the cuteness right there. Take that picture to MELT ALL THE COLD! in Winnipeg.

    When I was a nerdly youngin, I used to sing at the top of my wee lungs along with a super nerdy song called “Winnipeg Girl” by some 70’s dude. Or band. I dunno. So I thought I’d present that ear worm to you so you’d have playing in your head as you stepped off the plane in slow motion. I punched in “winnipeg girl” on the Youtube, and apparently this is the place where the Winnipeg girls of today post their fight videos.

    So the moral of the story is, worry less about packing winter wear and more about packing some big ass boxing gloves. You’re welcome.

  182. Loving the kitty and daughter pic…I wonder if one fell asleep before the other or if it was a mutual hypnosis. I do not envy you the very cold weather….definitely borrow a coat and make sure you have good things to wear under regular clothes to keep you warm like cuddle duds. Oh, and warm socks…lots of warm socks. Hope your feet don’t break off!!

    MishkaOP recently posted POTD Day 29 Window.

  183. Aw man. Melted my heart. This is what my boys do with our large black Lab puppy. Gets me every time:). Sniff sniff.

  184. Too cute! I used to fall asleep on the wood floor in front of the fireplace after basketball practice with one of my cats and dog. Takes me back. Totally miss those pets – they were great snugglers. Stay warm!

  185. Silk long johns – don’t go north without them!

  186. We were stuck in Chicago for two days during Fropocalypse. I think it was “feels like” -32. We walked across the street to the only open restaurant for dinner and I was pretty sure we were going to be a headline the next day – “The couple found frozen in intersection mid-stance just wanted pizza so they could tell Jon Stewart it was awesome.” We were dressed in ski garb since we flew in from Austria. Mother of God…so cold. My glasses got steamed up then FROZE. I’m sure the locals will take very good care of you but, just in case, carry a flask of booze…and a hat, gloves, parka, ski mask, wool socks, boots, polar fleece.

    Julie You Jest recently posted Pigeons get all offended when you call them penguins but they should be honored because penguins are way cuter..

  187. Seriously one of the moments caught on camera! So precious!

  188. I have lived in Winnipeg for all of my 52.5 years, and I am still in possession of all my toes. But yeah, dress warmly. It’s extremely cold here even by Winnipeg standards. I am feeling sad that I was not aware of the local blogging conference until now! Not sure I can pull it off at such short notice, but I will definitely be on the lookout for the next one!

  189. Some of my best friends are Canadian! No, really. But then they got tired of the cold and moved to Alabama, where they thought they would never need a coat. hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

    No coat in Alabama, or in Texas, is warm enough for that kind of stupid-cold weather. All I can recommend is wrapping yourself in electric blankets, carry a battery-powered source of electricity, and THEN put on a coat over all that. You will look like the kid in A Christmas Story, but it can’t be helped.

    Also earmuffs. Earmuffs are important.

    TheFakeGourmet recently posted Homemade Graham Crackers — a great way to get icing to your mouth!.

  190. Get to Target right away and buy some CuddlDuds (very thin, very WARM, long sleeved top and legging type bottoms) – you can wear them under everything and not feel too bulky, but definitely warm! Some of the tops have sleeves that pull down and hook over your thumbs to keep most of your hands warm too! As a Texas girl myself (although in DFW), anything below 50 degrees is unacceptably cold…and does require cocktails as long as I remember to purchase the ingredients before it gets cold, so I don’t have to go out!

  191. As a Winnipegger, I can say DRESS FOR THE WEATHER! However, if you dress too warmly, we will know you’re not from around here. Aside from that, welcome to “Friendly Manitoba”.

    FYI It’s -21 Celsius at the moment.

  192. Erk! You’re coming to Canada!
    Brain is firing on all pistons all while not actually able to do anything productive…impressive, I know.
    You have to make that hop, skip and a jump to Prince Edward Island to see me and some odd red haired girl with braids that people around the world seem to like.

  193. Sometimes I wonder if I could be a cat person. Then I remember the cat I’m feeding this week that hates me being in the same room as her. Even to feed her…

    Vanessa recently posted Too Many Ideas.

  194. I’m from Winnipeg, and -8 in January is WARM. :)

    P.S. Cats are awesome.

  195. Exactly how I feel about my dogs :-)

  196. i forgot to eat most of the day today. so i came home and had some tortilla chips, then i noticed the bowl of chocolate candies my husband insisted we buy. seriously, i tried to stop him. because if we have it, i eat it. i just ate like 4 hershey kisses and 6 rolos and my stomach feels a bit strange now.

    i had a cat that would sleep under my arm like that. when he was a kitten, he’d drape himself across my neck to sleep, tucking his nose under my ear lobe. i miss him bunches.

    steph gas recently posted part seven.

  197. Your picture just screams love.. Contentment, joy.. It’s so happy. I’d print that and keep it close for times you just need to know that exists.

  198. I couldn’t focus on any of the writing stuff because the picture was too precious. <3

  199. my solution is things like fleece lined leggings under my jeans, a hot water bottle that you can keep nearby. ^_^ I love my hot water bottle.

  200. It could be worse. You could be going to Atlanta. ;) (BTW, I am now convinced that Alantans are among the coolest people on earth … they are doing things for each other that really bring back my belief in humanity.)

  201. I live in Saskatchewan. Yup it can be cold, but it’s a dryyyyyy cold… (sorry that’s a running joke). We love to talk weather. Bring a warm coat, lip balm and some mittens or gloves and you’ll be golden. If you’re going to be outside for an extended length of time, take our your pierced earrings, the metal posts will freeze and make your ears colder than they need to be. I know it sounds crazy but you’re the one coming to Canada in February… I assume willingly?

    You don’t need long underwear, never worn it in my life and I have been in -70, now THAT was cold. Same with a toque all it will do is screw with your hair and when you take it off you will look like a dandelion puff because of the static electricity. (see dry cold above)

    Alcohol (like rum, rye, vodka) doesn’t freeze, which is why all Canadians drink, our very own personal antifreeze…so yup enjoy the cocktails…

    Welcome to Canada!!!

  202. I used to do that as a kid too! Except my cat was less of a companion and more of a bottle stealing mongrel…

  203. Cats are more human like than dogs. They aren’t unconditional in their lives so you know it when they means it. And Winnipeg. I was once in Winnipeg when it was below zero. We put a heating pad on the car engine so it wouldn’t freeze and not start. It’s the Siberia of North America

    skullwoman recently posted The NAAAAMMME game.

  204. To non-Canadians, that -8 must be F not C, because it’s way colder than -8 on the prairies today. Nobody has on sandals today in Regina like they normally do at -8 C.

    You def. need layers. Buy an airport toque before you go anywhere if you don’t have one.

    And don’t be surprised when you get to the ‘Peg and it’s the coldest cold you’ve ever experienced and yet EVERYONE HAS A SLURPEE. They do that there.

  205. Yay Winnipeg… I wish I had the money to go to the conference… it is literally just down the street… It’s friggin cold, but as many have said… layers…lots and lots of layers…Don’t ask if everyone has electric cars… it’s the plug in for the block heater to keep the oil from freezing…just a bit of Canadiana for you

  206. They built a Tauntaun suit on Mythbusters during their recent Star Wars special. Maybe you could borrow it?
    My cousins live in Winnepeg. They call it Winterpeg.

    Jeanie recently posted Hide-And-Seek.

  207. 211
    PepperjackCandy

    I would love to offer to loan you my 25-year-old down jacket, which hasn’t seen the light of day since at least 2005 (and likely even earlier than that). It got me through a three or four Chicago winters before I moved to Texas (and another few trips back home during Thanksgiving week after that). It’s pretty worn, though, and after more than 10 years in the closet, kind of dusty.

  208. who did you piss off that they scheduled you to be in Manitoba Canada in the dead of winter??? i live in Canada (Montreal) and even I wouldn’t go to Winterpeg in February…poor you….take an electric heating pad everywhere you go…at least you should come away with some good canadian experiences :)

  209. Smuggle cat under coat for added warmth = problems solved.

  210. I was going to say “Hey -8, that’s nothing!” And then I realized that you meant Fahrenheit, and so I was going to say “-8 sucks balls”, except that it doesn’t, because at that temperature, if you sucked anything, you’d basically be freezing it permanently to your face… I’m going to go take my meds now.

    Kate recently posted culinating :: soup is good food.

  211. My son is dying for a cat. I’m trying to decide if it’s worth having a litter box in my house…and I’ve heard that they spray. Still, that picture makes it tempting.

  212. Don’t go out with wet hair- it’ll freeze! Or so I hear from down here in Florida….

    (Good luck with your speech!)

    Brenna recently posted Well, this makes sense.

  213. Now you can actually own your very own Tauntaun. Your welcome.

    http://technabob.com/blog/2014/01/28/rocking-tauntauns/

  214. I just finished reading your book…
    Please write another one.

  215. 219
    widlrider51

    Down here in Phoenix it was 77 degrees today. It’s going to get all the way down to a high of 66 this weekend. And I still own four pairs of Uggs and a long faux-mink. I get to wear each of them approximately once every few years. So someday I COULD go to Winnipeg.

    But it won’t happen any time too soon. Have a good time for me.

  216. Dude, cover all exposed skin. It doesn’t matter how you look if you are so cold that you can’t stop shaking. Scarves, hats and gloves (arthritis means GLOVES) will be your new best friends. I was at a party, and when we left with my cousin in her new very fashionable $200 coat, and me in my 10 year old down puffy coat. She was practically crying because my coat looked so warm (it was).
    So, good luck with that speech, and have fun.

  217. The key is not to wear a big coat, the key is to wear several layers of loose fitting clothing. your clothes will trap warm air if they’re loosely fit, therefore staving off frostbite. I lived in Alaska for five years, I know my cold weather shit ;)

    Have fun in Winnipeg! And make sure that you enjoy the sights. It’s a beautiful town. Also, that picture of Hayley is adorable <3

    militarywiferants recently posted Five Truths, One lie. Which One Won’t Set You Free?.

  218. That is seriously the most adorable picture I have ever seen.

  219. I loved reading this. I’m a dog person but my friend’s cat stays with her when she is sick and doesn’t leave her side which I think is adorable! I’m having cocktails tonight in sunny Sydney so I’ll make sure I have one for you

  220. That picture of Hailey and Hunter is just the best thing I have seen in a very long time.

  221. 225
    Nichola Burton

    The rest of Canada loving refer to it as Winterpeg, having been there in the winter I have a full understanding of what surviving a nuclear winter would be like. On the bright side, if there is a zombie apocalypse your ass is safe. Those mother fuckers will freeze before they get anywhere near you. Then it would be like you would have frozen zombie statues/garden zombie gnomes for your winter garden. Oh Winnepeg!! Please don’t judge the rest of Canada based on your visit there….just saying.

  222. I was once in Montreal during March, and every time I went outside I thought I might actually drop dead. It was that fucking cold. Wear ALL the clothes. Not kidding.

    Adrasteia recently posted That terrible and wonderful creature we call Story.

  223. My three and half month old kitten Iggy has just come in at a rate of knots, slammed on the anchors to stop just before he went head first into the sofa leg, chirping the whole time and then hopping up on my chest to do his (very poor) impression of a window. Sigh.
    As of Winnipeg, I can’t give any advice other than layers and cover as much of your skin as you can – that’s what I learned after living in Finland for a year!
    And here, in case you do want to take a tauntaun sleeping bag, they do exist! http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/bb2e/

  224. Awesome photos! As for the trip North, a good pair of lined boots are a necessity. You could also get away with some snowboarders socks (they’re warm and they wick moisture) and any boot with a good tread. Go for the full length parka, you’ll be thankful when the wind blows!

  225. BAH HAHA.i glanced quick and thought you wrote you were leaving to ‘spank’ in Winnipeg. ..God I love my add some days and the great pleasure I just got from something that didn’t even exist .. snicker snicker spank.. ha.

  226. I can’t believe you are going to be in my city!!! I wish I knew sooner, I would love to see you.
    I hope you have a great time here. And, yes, the weather is really cold, but the people are super warm.

  227. Having nothing to do with keeping warm, but do not forget conditioner for your hair. Between the cold & dryness outside, and the heat & dryness inside, your hair will halo around your head within minutes with static electricity. When I lived in Alberta, I always looked like a startled cat.

  228. Bloggess welcome to Canada! Winnipeg shd not be visited in the Winter….there’s a reason we Canucks call it Winterpeg…brrrr!! Come to Toronto instead! Still cold, but not quite as bad as Winnipeg!!!

  229. Oh, Hailey & Hunter S Thomcat are just adorable.
    Good luck in Canada, there is a reason I live in Oz now…

  230. Wow! I wish I had known about your travels a few weeks ago, I could have knitted you one of my famous scarves!! – Well, when I say famous, I’ve made about a dozen for people…which is almost the population of my village..

  231. Two things. 1. Wool.And more wool. I wish I could lend you my Sleeping Indian hunting wools outfit.
    2. Remember that when Canadians talk about -6 , they are talking Centigrade, i.e. 29 above. Here in northern Maine, -10 (yesterday morning) means -10 F. Different.

  232. Enjoy my homeland! Don’t worry about freezing – it’s a dry cold, as we say. Just wear boots and a parka.

  233. Don’t be scared of the cold. You can combat it with what I call the “Winnipeg wrap”. Take a long scarf and hold enough of it at the back of your head to tie a knot with. Start wrapping it forward around your forehead and when you reach the back of your head again, drop down to the top of your neck and bring the scarf across your mouth and nose and tie it at the back with the end you started with. That’s how I survived the Manitoba winters as a child. Of course, this causes the secondary (and for me most troublesome winter effect) – static electricity. You’ll look like a science experiment when you take the scarf off, but it’s the price you have to pay for keeping your cheeks safe. And cheek safety is paramount.
    You will love the people – they will warm you too! Say hi to the golden boy (a cheek safety case if ever there was one)

  234. Jenny, I saw this website and thought of you. http://deep-dark-fears.tumblr.com/
    Love, Audri

  235. 240
    Nobodyhasthisname2

    Although “dry cold” is a running joke, its true…. If you have a decent coat and some mitts, you’ll be just fine. Winnipeg is an amazing city full of great culture, spectacular food and friendly people. And contrary to popular belief, it isn’t cold all year round. I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else quite honestly. I moved here 8 years ago and haven’t regretted it once.

    Have fun, I wish I was a blogger so I could have a legitimate reason to skip work and go to the conference.

  236. 241
    Emily from Canada.

    Heehee. So not only are you going to Canada in the winter, you’re going to a place that has earned the name of “Winter-peg.” Warning: it’s not really the cold that you need to be concerned of. It’s the wind that makes Manitoba/Saskatchewan winters so dangerous. Try to cover your face as much as possible when you need to go outside and remember that your tears will freeze.

  237. Here’s hoping the temps in Winnipeg get warmer in honour of your arrival :) LOVE the pic of Hailey and Hunter S Thomcat – there is nothing better than curling up in the sunshine on a lazy afternoon. Truth is, we could learn a lot from cats I think ;)

    Cheryl recently posted The Princess Ball.

  238. I’ve lived in cold weather all my life, and I can attest that all you really need are cocktails, but a Tauntaun sure would be fun.

  239. What an incredible photo, Jenny. (I’m talking about the one with your daughter and the cat) Winnipeg is wonderful. I was there in October and it was about 20 degrees. Maybe the tacos the airlines are serving will warm you up.

    jasteck recently posted Touched Beyond Belief.

  240. Kids and pets. Both able to sleep wherever they happen to land.

    Make sure to wear a hat. And gloves.

    Sue recently posted Ignore your crazy aunt.

  241. Woah – wait… did you say you’re coming to Winnipeg?? You’ll L O V E it here! What we lack in climate warmth, we more than make up for in people warmth.
    (I just looked up the event – You’re in good hands with NMM – enjoy enjoy enjoy!)

  242. Holy moly. I just took a look-through the comments. I hope you didn’t read them – they’ll chill your heart! Unlike Winnipeggers. Please note that there are almost a million of us choosing to live here. There obviously are lots of great things about our city. In fact, I hope that you get to see a snow sculpture in the making for the upcoming winter party- the Festival du Voyageur. (Almost as good as taxidermy! But it won’t last anywhere near as long.) You can also go ice skating on the river at a great attraction called The Forks. The skating trail is about 3/4 of a mile long. You’ll notice how no one looks very sassy until you get indoors – that’s because those of us who know how to love this city have forfeited looking “great” outdoors in the dead of the winter for being warm and finding the way to love it here.

  243. I live in “Winterpeg”…yes it is cold but the warm hearts here will heat and toast your soul. :) (not unlike hell I suppose… but then beggars, (I Mean “bloggers”) can’t be choosers! HA!)
    Advice to survive your ‘cold day in winter hell’ :
    1) Cover your nose and mouth with a scarf as to reduce the uncomfortable sensation of your nostrils freezing together/shut. Trust me for all the wonderful winter beauties we have to offerthis is not one of them you will enjoy)
    2) Dance, skip and jump your way from cars to the inside. Not only will you stay warm but you will receive loving stares and grins from strangers on the street. (of course you will only see their eyes over the scarves but you will clearly be able to picture the smiles because I told you to!)
    3) Once safely located in your hotel room for the night TAKE A HOT BATH. Your feet will thank you for it and it may be the only way to subside the chattering of your teeth. Add candles and Buffalo Wings from Earls Restaurant and I think it is the perfect warm-up recipe)
    4) Be intensely thankful you were not here LAST WEEK during the -38 plus windchill = minus 50 something will definitely freeze and fall off winter storm. (Silver lining to every situation right???)

    Good luck and welcome because WE WINNIPEGGERS LOVE LAUGHING and laughing keeps us warm which therefore keeps us from croaking in the cold! ;)
    We LOVE YOU!!!

  244. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!!

  245. That’s exactly what cat’s are for said the blogger typing one-handed with a cat called ‘Kitty’ asleep on her shoulder!

  246. AHHHH! My hometown, it’s not so bad… just think warm, happy thoughts. I’m sad that I will miss you.

  247. That’s absolutely adorable!

  248. That’s exactly why we have a dog, to curl up next to only child daughter. Best of luck in the frozen tundra.

  249. My cats are asswads. I’ve showed them this picture over and over again, but they will not fall asleep anywhere with me huggling them like that. Losers. So, uh, just wondering how one convinces you to visit Winterpeg in January/February? Toronto is actually balmy today, so maybe you could make a quick pit stop on your way home? You know, to teach my cats how to be cool, and drink wine slushies with me, preferably not in that order. Have a blast in the ‘Peg, hopefully not of the frigid air variety.

    PapayaJambalaya recently posted 25 Reasons Why I’m Not Hip, and Probably Never Will Be.

  250. But if someone gives you a tauntaun you will only be Luke warm.
    I hear Winterpeg is a lovely city and the food is great.

    World's Tallest Hobbit recently posted A last gasp.

  251. After this week’s two freezes, haven’t you officially endured winter already, Jenny?

  252. -8 degrees? Pshshsh! We Illinoisans survive -50 before wind chill! The kind of cold that the weathermen tell you not to stay outside for more than 5 minutes at a time or YOU WILL DIE. I immediately think of “Day After Tomorrow” when the helicopter pilots’ breath freezes in their lungs. Anywho…buy yourself some Cuddleduds, earmuffs & a Hot Toddy.

  253. when i feel down i find myself instinctively typing the URL of your site into my browser. i appreciate that it makes me smile – obviously, since you write comedy – but it’s a comedy that comes from a place that knows what shadows look like. all the laughs from thebloggess.com are that much richer for their ability to remember what it feels to be in darkness. so your brand of humor really cheers me up, far more than some assclown cracking shallow jokes without any acknowledgement of how hard earned sweet comic relief can sometimes be. i wanted to say thank you for that. that’s all.

  254. Jenny,
    My frozen Canadian heart just thawed quicker than The Flash going full-tilt upon seeing your two little angels asleep at the top of those stairs. Remember that image when things get crazy and the darkness closes in, my friend. That, my dear Jenny, more than anything else, is why you go on every day.

    You have been well and truly blessed, my friend.
    By the way, Winnipeg? Tell me you’re coming to Toronto, please? I’d love to thank you for your kindness in person.

    The Hook recently posted 5×5 With The Hook: TJ Lubrano.

  255. That is, by far, the cutest picture i’ve seen this year! It’s too cute for words..

    Jawa recently posted Movie Review: Dallas Buyers Club.

  256. YAY Winnipeg!! I was SO surprised when I saw you were coming here, I had to read it three times, and now you are only a few blocks away!

    At least it is beautiful and sunny today – and Winnipeg is the sunniest city in Canada (aside from Calgary…)

    Maybe if you survive the cold, you want to eat dinner on the river ice? RAW: almond has a prix fixe dinner from all our top chefs :)

    http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/pop-up-restaurant-on-ice-set-for-january-2014-run-1.2453634

    And if it is too cold, you’ll get familiar with our indoor walkways downtown that keep you toasty!

  257. My cats are contractually obligated to “snorgle” with me.

    kstewand4cats recently posted Haikus for the Polar Vortex.

  258. This has nothing at all to do with your post. But I wanted to share this taxidermy board from Pinterest with you because….well, I guess I don’t really have to explain it. But there’s some awesomely beautiful and awesomely derpy stuff on here. And for some reason, Pinterest won’t let me send it to you. Probably because we’re not really friends (although we could change that). :)

  259. I live in Wisconsin and used to have horrible winter feet freeze problems. A couple of years ago I found the perfect warm-foot-maker! Bearpaw boots. Mmmmm. I wear them everywhere in the winter now. Hope you stay warm on your travels and do lots of snuggling in blankets!

    Punky Coletta recently posted Married for ten years: Reasons I still love my husband. Too many of these have to do with poop..

  260. 267
    Doug Richardson

    Why would they name a town “WinAPig?” Are they bacon-deprived there? Let us know.

  261. I have the most affectionate (emotional support) cat ever. She is so sweet and adorable and awesome.

    I’m very glad your kitties are the same to you!

    Cassie recently posted Amazon is a Beautiful Thing.

  262. OMG – was thinking about your pic of Hailey and Hunter S Thomcat and it suddenly came to me that your next cat should be called Mieowly Cyrus!!! LOL

  263. Yes, it is cold in Winnipeg. Rest assured, even those of us that live here full time are screaming for cocktails too…I will never get used to it. However, I’m glad you braved the cold and came…thanx for your humour, your candor, your lessons and your stories…I love it when profoundness and gut busting laughter happen within seconds of each other

    Carolyn recently posted The New Blog is LIve!.

  264. That has got to be one of the cutest photos ever! Ok….I guess I like cats a little bit more now. :3

  265. Warmest coat Lands End sells. Or you could wear a fresh elk carcass, but that seems gross

    chicken recently posted An Insecure Writer.

  266. Wondering how you are doing…

  267. You’re lucky it’s only -8. Usually this time of year it’s -30. Not even kidding with ya. Have fun. :)
    p.s. love the kitty pic’s

  268. Good luck on your trip. I hope it turns out waaayyyyy better then u expect. I thank you for posting about your moods since I am currently feeling quite shitty myself. I look to you to be able to get out of my dark holes. If u can do it so can I!

  269. Here’s hoping you didn’t freeze and your feet didn’t break off.

    Michelle recently posted Public Service Announcement. You Will Thank Me..

  270. Try for Nova Scotia next time, pretty please?! Xo

  271. This made my heart melt into a gooey mess at the bottom of my shoes. Sooooo sweet.

    Jess recently posted A Hat? A Scarf? A Hood? Batman?.

  272. If you had to walk uphill both ways to get to the place you are going in the weather, I would send you shoes….although most people in the older generation did it without shoes. Why, when I was a young whipper snapper…..

    Robin recently posted Just let him wear the purple boots.

  273. It is kinda awesome when your snot freezes. That’s all though. The rest sucks.

  274. That’s the most adorable picture ever!
    I need something like that to remember why I love my cat at 4am when she’s pacing across my body for an hour and a half.

  275. Cocktails. Plural. Irish Coffee would be a good choice, you can drink them all day and the caffeine will keep you from passing out and possibly perishing from the cold between the car and the hotel door.

  276. Rasputin continually beats me to snuggling with the wifebot when she needs it. Rasputin being our Russian blue kitty not Rasputin mystic and private adviser to the Romanovs–he just sits in the basement moaning. If your feet break off would you like ebay them?

    that just got weird

    ClevelandPoet recently posted Conversations with Jimi 19: A family affair.

  277. -7F…or -21C…I get your american imperial ways now -It’s warmer when you think in Fahrenheit. Was that with or without the windchill?? It is -25 in Sasaktchewan (west of Winnipeg for general reference)…with a windchill of -36c and yes I am questioning the sanity of my ancestors for settling here (like they couldn’t turn due south and find a warmer field to farm).

  278. My timing is terrible! I just left Winnipeg two weeks ago. A dubious destination in January, but have fun anyway!

  279. OMG that is about the cutest thing I have seen in a long time – thanks for brightening up what has been a miserable day! :)

  280. That is the sweetest thing I’ve seen all day, your posts never fail to make me chuckle or smile. thank you for that!

  281. At least your not going to London On. :) Its really cold here. Thank you for all your post’s. They brighten my otherwise over scheduled college day. :)

  282. I’m very jealous your kid sleeps. Where can I get one of those sleeping kids…

  283. How the fuck did I not know you were coming to Winnipeg ? Seriously ?!? Now it’s too late. Well, I hope you enjoyed your taste of real winter. It was pretty nice out those two days.

  284. but if you had the tauntaun, you would’t need the necklaces on the tires…

  285. 293
    Gay Anderson

    How exciting! My first husband and I honeymooned in Winnipeg. My mother and her second husband also honeymooned there. We ate at a Chinese restaurant so it was a foreign country with foreign food. Very cosmopolitan.

  286. Theo and Beau might have some competition!

  287. I really want to get a cat and name it “Peckerino”, because I think it would be hilarious to run around, yelling, “He Peckerino, yo! Get on over here!”

  288. 296
    Janet Coburn

    Thought you needed to see this./Users/janetcoburn/Desktop/untitled folder/tauntaun.jpg

  289. That photo is adorable. So, so much cute.

    It is currently 5 degrees with a wind chill below zero in Chicago. The cold has settled into my bones and I have begun to wear socks, willingly (socks are evil). Dress in layers.

  290. Well you see I’m a rock and we don’t get cold or have cats. I have dog though,but he’s pretty stupid. He can’t spell dog.

  291. I read the -8 degrees and thought….wow that’s not really cold. Then I remembered you probably think in fahrenheit and I’m thinking in celsius. -22 is pretty darn chilly. I hope you didn’t get too cold on the trip.

  292. My kids call that “rub my belly” pose “the beartrap.”

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