People with ADD are too easily distracted to be expected to remember to reorder their ADD meds. And that’s why this post exists.

I have lots of things to write about but my head is too full to get them all out.  Every day this month has been filled with joy and terror and confusion and self-doubt and gratitude and horror, and then my mind is filled up with stories that I need to get onto paper, but they all get jammed together.

It’s like when you were six and you were trying to get money out of your piggy bank, but it didn’t have a stopper so you just turn the glass pig upside down and shake it violently and loudly as each penny drops out of the opening, but then it would get jammed with pennies and you’d have to sneak a knife out of the kitchen to shove it up the thin opening, and it totally worked, but then you wiggle the knife a little too hard and suddenly the glass opening of your piggy bank  shatters and you panic and try to put the pieces back together because you instantly realize that the bank was worth way more than all the pennies inside of it, but you slice open your hand on the broken glass, and that’s when your mom realizes it’s gone terribly quiet and she walks in to find you cross-legged, wide-eyed, holding a knife and covered in blood, and she screams “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?” as if you might have murdered your little sister, but you explain that your sister is fine and that you just got stabbed by the piggy bank, and that you’re really sorry and will take any punishment she metes out but that “it sort of seems like being stabbed is punishment enough,” and then your mom is like, “JUST PUT THE KNIFE DOWN, JENNY” as if you’re some small, terrible mugger who murdered a pig for a bunch of blood-soaked pennies.

And that’s what my head is like right now.  It’s awful and wonderful.  And it’s full of blood and stories and (metaphoric) broken glass and far too many run-on sentences.  So tonight I’m going to turn my head upside down and shake until things come loose, because sometimes the only thing harder than writing is not writing.

This post has no real point except to say that I’m still here and that one day very soon I will have shaken free the final page of the book inside my head so you can read it.  But for now I’m leaving you with a song I listen to when my head gets too overwhelmed and when I need to be reminded that writing is very much like life, in that it is sometimes incredibly hard, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t also incredibly worthwhile.

134 replies. read them below or add one

  1. I am so looking forward to your book. And all the thoughts will funnel through and the bottleneck will disappear.

    I needed to tell myself that as well..so thanks for that.

    Michelle recently posted What’s The First Rule Of Gong Ball?.

  2. Shake away . . . . I can’t wait to read what comes out (blood-soaked or not).

    marydpierce recently posted Until a tiny thing trips you up (Flash Fiction).

  3. …you don’t have a piggy bank right this second do you? Because that seems like it might be dangerous…

    mousegoddess recently posted In Which Patches Is Rather Confused.

  4. I sometimes feel like I missed out on a childhood experience because my piggy banks always had little rubber stoppers on the bottom to easily get the money out.

  5. I’m just glad you exist.

  6. Makes sense to me but I’m halfway through a glass of bourbon while yelling at the tv during a hockey game. Not sure if that helps or hurts…

  7. 7
    Kathryn Franks

    It reminds me of a Piñata and all the kids are hitting it and then all of a sudden it’s raining candy!!!!!

  8. Sometimes it helps just to put it all down on paper so you can get rid of the things that are rolling around in circles in your head and the good stuff remains and you can tuck that in a good spot and pull it out at a later time….

  9. It amazes me how much sense that actually makes. My head sort of feels the same way, except add mucus, because I’m sick. Don’t shake your head too hard though. Don’t need any other weird ass illnesses or hospital trips for you.

    Rachel recently posted Z is for Zzzz's.

  10. Wow! Wow! Wow!

    Kathleen recently posted Make Way for Mothers.

  11. 11
    @shthisisme

    You describe it perfectly.
    It will be worth it when you shake that last page out. (Hugs)

  12. My head feels like that on almost a daily basis. Sigh.

  13. We are grateful that you’re still here, Jennie. Thank you.
    Now go finish that book!

    L. Woolf recently posted Of Disabling Sadness, A Never-ending Story.

  14. 14
    happyhourmary

    It IS a wonder that we as parents live through the blood soaked antics of our children!

  15. I cannot seem to watch your video. This makes me sad. And wondering if it ends as badly as the piggy did.

  16. So, metaphorically, you’re jamming a knife into your memories for spare change. I like it.

  17. I had a metal bank was part cash register, part slot machine and 100% made me feel like a criminal. It wouldn’t open until it reached $10 on the nose. God help you if you deposited $10.01. Had to wait until $20. I shoved many a knife into its metal door to shake out whatever I could. It had belonged to my grandparents, and when I sliced my finger on that little door and had to get a tetanus shot from trying to pry that thing open to finger out a few quarters, I realized a life in crime would never work out for me.

    Cheers. This run on sentence really spoke to me. :)

  18. 18
    Denise in VA

    I always found that to be the ultimate irony–that the ADD sufferer must remember to order and pick up their meds.

  19. 19
    adkamanda

    My sock bin is where those stoppers come to die. I think maybe an etsy shop might be in order.

    Congrats on your hard-won pages.

  20. Unrelated to your post BUT, on my way back to Dallas from visiting Austin this weekend I passed a taxidermy shop and I thought, hmm. I wonder if Jenny would be compelled to stop? I bet she would be compelled to stop. I bet she’d have to get to the next exit and loop back around and visit that shop. I cannot remember the name of the shop but why do I think you may have already visited it? Among all of the antique shops, Dairy Queens and Starbucks, this shop stood out. On a side note, I was compelled to stop in West coming and going and get kolaches. Twice.

    (Corner Shoppe? Did it have dead animals on the roof? If so, yes, I’ve been. Cool stuff but I only buy stuff thats super old or died of natural causes so I don’t pick up much from them. ~ Jenny)

  21. I’ve just finished my second read through and I loved it as much as the first (which is a shit ton) and I can’t wait for the next one.

  22. My pharmacy calls me and reminds me to renew my prescriptions. And then they call and remind me that I need to pick them up…

  23. Fuck! I meant to make an appointment with my GP to get a psych referral to get Adderol, and I forgot to do EVERY part of that. Ugh!

  24. Although…I must add…I never forget my sons’ meds…I don’t want teacher’s burning me in effigy.

    MeglyMc recently posted Fun Fact: Satan Wipes His Ass With Penguins..

  25. For a second I thought it was weird that your head is full blood, then I realized I was just being dumb. Lol

  26. I can totally relate.
    I was previously misdiagnosed with some things, clearly have PTSD, Anxiety, and ASD, but now am looking like being formally diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.
    In the meantime I’m taking something that is used for Psychosis (anti psychotic), but is also effective in treating both Mania and Depression phases of BPD, and fingers crossed it seems to be helping.

    I know labels don’t help everyone, and that with labels comes stigma, from others and one’s self, but a wrong label can lead to wrong treatment (SSRI’s make me agitated, which is indicative of BPD); it could be worth looking into revising your ADD diagnosis, just in case there is a more appropriate label and medication.

    Wrong diagnosis and wrong treatment lead to loss of drivers license for a year and ended my first marriage, and has left a legacy of estrangement from my family; I accept that I have a condition that needs treatment, but apparently the rest of my family thinks me lesser for admitting to having a mental health condition, and a neurological difference.
    - They’re all nuts too, but it’s okay if you don’t talk about the elephant in the room apparently!

    I’m not a doctor, but I know what it’s like to suffer from not getting the meds or the treatment right, and hope you don’t have to go through what I’ve been through.
    Take care Jenny.

    Regards,

    Ben.

  27. How did they get inside my head to get those lyrics? I don’t believe that I’ve ever identified so precisely with any other song.

  28. You never cease to amaze me. I laugh and cry at your blogs because I’ve been there, in those places not everyone understands. Keep on keepin’ on — and thank you.

  29. @ Melanie up there: YOUR PHARMACY CALLS YOU? Why didn’t I know this was a thing? Jenny, I always feel better once I get the words outta my head and onto some paper. Even if they are not the words I was looking for; it’s kind of making room for more, I guess.

    Steph recently posted Because Good Decisions Are My Specialty.

  30. shake it, but don’t break it…

    Simone recently posted Why Book Clubs Are So Cool.

  31. 31
    PepperjackCandy

    When I remember that I need to do something I usually set my phone to remind me. The ringtone for that feature is set to “Fur Elise.” Now whenever I hear the opening notes of “Fur Elise” I have a Pavlovian response of trying to figure out what I’ve forgotten.

    And I usually would just tip the piggy bank upside-down to clear the blockage and then turn it back right-side-up again. Do you happen to have a pair of those gravity boots?

    Also I haven’t had the kolaches from West, but the ones from Weikel’s in LaGrange are awesome.

  32. Just don’t stick a knife in your ear to shake out the story. Probaby would end bad.

  33. I can’t wait for your next book. The first one was brilliant and I expect this one will be the perfect thing to distract me from own blood-soaked hands after I’ve tried to remove the tumors on my adrenal glands on my own. You’ve made me a stronger person Jenny and I honestly don’t think I’d be doing as well as I am if it weren’t for you. Thank you for being perfect just the way you are. And I look forward to standing in the longest of lines to get you, and Victor, to sign your new book for me. I’ll be the young guy losing his hair and holding himself up with a cane.

  34. Well, I totally read that as not being able to get the stripper out of your piggy bank, which made me wonder 1) how does one even GET a stripper into a piggy bank and 2) you probably shouldn’t stab her.

    Maybe it’s because I watched Star Wars XXX, a Porn Parody. And it was…parodyness. I’m sick, I know. ;)

    Jess @NoPithyPhrase recently posted Hmm...I think not, Yahoo..

  35. Beautiful performance by the girl. Thank you.

    Anubis Bard recently posted Hiking Ledyard's Morgan Pond Reservoir.

  36. OMG, that makes so much sense to me right now! I’m having a super creative week after months of drought, which means that everything’s trying to come out at once and it’s shiny and painful and I feel that I might need a Band-Aid and some tequila. So yeah, I get it. Congrats on nearly being done with the book!

  37. 37
    thismamaiscrazy

    Cant wait for your book. And my head is full constantly.

  38. Go find your Quiet, Jenny. I’ve finally jiggled some coins loose that have been stuck in the piggy bank for months now and feel very liberated.

    Jillian recently posted Short Post and a Song #73: The Last Jumper Cables in the World.

  39. This post reminded me that I was supposed to get mine a week ago.

  40. Whenever I’d get a dollar (rarely) I’d fold it up all tight and shove it into that little hole, and then I’d do all you said, but then a corner of that damned dollar would peek out, and I’d have to try to pinch that little edge, and it would shove back into the !@#$ing pig, and then I’d shake the pig until the dollar peeked out again, and this would continue back and forth for who the hell knows how long, and then I’d get more of the dollar out, but then it’d get caught on the fold, and jam, and then I’d contemplate throwing it against the wall, but more likely I’d cry for a few minutes, and then use sheer brute strength, but by then the damn ice cream truck is way gone, and I say screw it and shove the dollar back in the jar. And that’s kinda how I write some days.

  41. Just keep writing. Get those crazies out on paper, girl. It won’t help anything, but it’ll keep us entertained. :)

    Manicmom recently posted Take this job ….

  42. Tonight my husband had to yell at me more than once: “Will you put some damn pants on so we can go get some dinner?!” I kind of refused to put pants on because his Long Island accent is adorable, but also because I was telling him a story & couldn’t really pay attention to him. So, I feel ya.

  43. Ooh, that sounded crass and insensitive. I’m sorry. I’m dealing with the all-about-me syndrome, but I’m self medicating, so it’s okay.

  44. That poor piggy! My piggy is Instapaper and Evernote, where I bookmark all the things that my ADD head says, “Oh I’ll want to read this later.” But when does later come? I think it’s tomorrow, and when I realize that, I figure heck! I what was I worried about? I can look at that tomorrow? So when does tomorrow actually arrive? And then I realize that it never comes. (!!!!!) And so I go look, and they bleed into my browser…slowly, oh so slowly, and I curse Comcast and I open a new tab and go to Feedly while I’m waiting to see what new might be there, and oh there is! So I start reading there and bookmark the interesting bits to Instapaper or Evernote…and then I open a tab to Facebook…and we’re at the end of time.

    Looking forward to your book!

  45. I don’t know about the blood and the pennies, but I wonder I can relate to this not really being able to get words out of your head just right. I think of it as taking this massive ball of fluff that is raw cotton and somehow having to twist, turn and tame it into something ordered like thread and then weaving it into something useful like cloth and then manipulating that into something you need, like clothes. I feel like all my thoughts are in a big ball of cotton and I can’t even gather the energies to start what I know is a next to impossible task that no one else ever bothers doing because they can just buy their damned clothes but I somehow insist on making them. I’m probably not making a lot of sense right now. I’ll just go back to saying I can relate to the horrible states of mind where you can’t even write even though writing is exactly the sort of thing that would cure milder spells of the same nameless feeling.

  46. ah yes…add….going from kitchen to take out laundry from dryer, but seeing the dust bunny under the couch, so head for the swiffer, but the vacuum is in the way, and anyways the kitchen floor needs washing…..so head back to the kitchen just in time to stop the water overflowing from the sink because I was in the middle of doing the dishes. I hear ya sister!

    Mary-Anne recently posted 40 year old blanket.

  47. Seems that a lot of people have had a rough past few months. I get it. Its been awful and yucky, and blah. I’m excited that there will even be another book, and I will be ecstatic when it comes out so I can get it before the librarian friends of mine.

  48. I don’t officially have ADD, but I can completely relate to this post. Including the bloody hands and the pennies.

    karenmpeterson recently posted April Showers Bring May Goals.

  49. My words never come out right! They usually sound insulting and piss people off and I sooooo don’t mean it usually, it’s just how my thoughts run. I can’t wait till your new book comes out! Your first one had me pissing myself!

    Dawn Armfield recently posted Death has been on my mind..

  50. Take your time, Jenny. Yours is the kind of masterpiece that’s worth the wait.

    Oh, and don’t shake your head, shake your groove thang. Much more embarrassing to the husband and kidlet.

  51. 51
    Katharine

    It is impossible to read your words without without laughing out loud. Whenever my husband finds me at the computer, in hysterics with tears rolling from my eyes, he says, “The Bloggess?”
    You had me at Big Metal Chicken and I’ve never left.
    AMAZING song at the bottom of your beautifully jammed up post. Thanks for sharing.

  52. If your first book had sucked no one would want this one and there would be no pressure. You’ve brought this pressure on yourself by being awesome! Mediocre people have no expectations put on them! Thank goodness you are anything but mediocre! Now stop reading your damn comments and go finish the book!

  53. The piggy bank! The exact same thing happened to me when I was a kid. Well, not the exact same thing. My Mom thought I stabbed my brother and called me Lisa instead of Jenny. Other than that…exactly the same.

  54. Maybe you need to clean the wax out of your ears? It’s kinda like a bank plug? Just an idea! Haha. Good luck with your brain shaking, just be careful not to break it too much, we like you!

  55. Quiet, written by that genius Tim Minchin. Yup, perfect!

  56. 56
    Rachael G.

    Every time I read your blog I smile. Thank you for being you.

  57. Oh, shit, you did this TOO!?

  58. I died laughing. Of course not only do we have to remember to take the meds, but you can only get a months prescription at a time and it has to be handwritten and no refills and you have to pick it up from the office which you forget because you’re not sick so why would you think to go and deal with their schedule meshing with yours and still need to take it to the pharmacy where the druggist refuses it because they didn’t write your birthday on it so you take it, fill out the missing information and hand it over to find that they are out, but will get a shipment in three days so you can just come back then.

    Argh!

  59. 59
    Ashlie Johnston

    And a good thing to know about Adderall is if you take a drug test it will be positive for amphetamines and then you have to take pictures of your bottle to send the lab so you can prove you are on meds not illegal drugs. How’s that for a run on sentence? And it is also completely true. I ♥ you and your crazy humor!

  60. When I was a teenager, I was misdiagnosed with ADD, and they put me on medicine for it. I didn’t have ADD, I had multiple serious anxiety disorders that my parents thought were just quirks (I’m still trying to figure that one out). Do you know what happens to teenagers with multiple serious anxiety disorders that get put on ADD medicine by mistake? VERY BAD THINGS!!

  61. The more I listen to Tim Minchin’s stuff the more I love him, and I’ve always loved Matilda (the book and movie) so it’s great to see that clip and know that he managed the perfect blend of the essence of the book and his own style. What I’m trying to say is that I can see the genius of both Dahl and Minchin in that performance and it is lovely. Now I really want to see that musical!

    Jeanie Tortoisefly recently posted Fires & Free Furniture.

  62. Wow. That’s such an amazing analogy. I’m shaking; I’m shaking right with you. I’m going to leave the knives in the kitchen though. (And thank you for the song!)

  63. 63
    daffodil101

    ‘Sometimes the only thing harder than writing is not writing.’

    Profound. And so true. You should write the messages in fortune cookies.

  64. Do what I do sometimes – remember that old hand game Concentration – where you chant / say / sing Con-cen-tra-tion – Concentration has begun – keep the rhythm? Well, when I am stuck on something – instead of using the word Concentration, I use the word Constipation – Con-sti-pa-tion – Con-sti-pa-tion has begun – keep the rhythm! :) If nothing else, it’s good for a laugh :)

  65. I’d pay cash money to see a little girl covered in blood, wielding a big knife, look up at her mother and reply, “Seeing as I’m covered in blood and holding a big, sharp knife, maybe, just maybe, you might want to watch your tone.”

  66. I get that too. And when I was little, my brother had a piggy bank with a big stopper, so when it was too crazy-making to shake my piggy bank, I’d just borrow from his. (Was that wrong?) Not surprising, today when my head is too full and rattle-y to get the ideas out, I just turn on Netflix and watch old episodes of Lost. A lot like borrowing change from the community piggy bank until you are patient enough to revisit yours. Write a story or be the audience to someone else’s–there’s a time for both.

  67. Jenny IT’S LIKE YOU ARE INSIDE MY HEAD. Because my head is doing the “joy and terror and confusion and self-doubt and gratitude and horror” cha-cha this month, too. I just started a new job. A job that didn’t exist before I started it, so we’re making it up as we go along. And sometimes I’m like, MAN I rock! And other times I go out and sit in my car and try to breathe for awhile. And sometimes I watch Netflix until my brain finally calms down again. It’s joyous and terrifying and all those things. And I’m ALWAYS glad to know when someone gets it, even though I always wish they never had to get it :/ Do you know what I mean?

    Ashleigh recently posted Loving Someone who has Depression.

  68. I read your first book and then read Jen Mann’s I Just Want to Pee Alone and was simplify amazed that there were people that thought like I did. Oh and I think after reading your post I might had ADD which really explains a lot. So thanks.

  69. I feel for you, Jenny. I have ADD, am a full-time pharmacy tech and STILL have problems remembering to fill my prescription! Luckily, I have a very understanding co-worker who reminds me. This is slightly self-serving of her, though, as she tells me I am rather scary when I forget to take my Adderall. And she ALWAYS knows if I didn’t take it because I have the attention span of a gnat on crack without it. ;)

  70. 70
    ocularnervosa

    I don’t have that problem because I have so few thoughts they don’t get jammed up.

    Watching that video made me realize someone needs to do Fast Food Drive Thru: The Musical, just so everyone has an excuse to wear head microphones on stage.

  71. When I was in college, I had a creative writing class. One day the teacher told us to spend the class writing. I had no idea what we were supposed to write about so I just started writing about nothing and everything and about this weird dream I had in which my friend was in prison but I told her it was okay cuz I’d come every day and eat Cornflakes with her. ???!! I’m not sure why Cornflakes except it was one of my favorite cereals. It was a pretty big promise cuz you had to swim there and I don’t l know how to swim very well! Anyway, maybe if you just wrote down everything in your head, something interesting might develop.

    Today I went to Yosemite and as I sat alongside the path to Vernal Falls trying to catch my breath, I thought of you and how I found the beauty of the Merced River and the trees and the birds singing and the cute squirrels who kept trying to steal my lunch, inspiring. And yesterday I heard that a person is something like 75%-80% more creative when they are walking which seems true to me cuz I used to write ‘epic’ stories when I was a park worker. And I thought it’s too bad you aren’t really an outdoor person cuz a hike in Yosemite would surely inspire you to write–like the piece about Pintrest Moms. Now I want a tepee in my home….

  72. I agree with the commenter who said your post made entirely too much sense. I never had one of those piggy banks, but I can totally see it. And yeah, I’d be the child with blood on my hands, who calmly turns and stares at my horrified mother as she walks in the room.

    Hang in there, Jenny.

  73. It’s hard when there’s so much awesome rolled up in one little Jenny. I can see why it might feel a bit cluttered.

    Doni recently posted California Girl of the Month.

  74. I would be looking forward to read your book. Just hang in there.

    Jen @ TOB recently posted RECARO ProRIDE Convertible Car Seat Review.

  75. I have this urge to find you a giant plastic pig piggy bank – sort of like a companion for Beyonce.

  76. I have never heard that song before. I felt that, totally felt that.

    Kattie recently posted Bye.

  77. Thats preciy why I love reading your stuff. I get it. My mind is an open rolodex in front if a fan. Luv your stuff in trying to write a book,blog, kids husband travels yadaa and I cant get it all done. It’s frustrating. Especially when it feels like my writing is not g well. U r talented. Thx for sharing your inner most add thots :)

  78. Sorry for typos.that was horrendous. I do alot with my big giant phone & index finger. Ok that just south horrendous

    Laurie Free recently posted 10 reasons why Dental Offices are better than Zombie Apocolypses..

  79. You just described my head all of the time. Does that mean I have ADD? Damn 31 years before a diagnosis. Great, now I just feel sorry for myself.

  80. I love you Jenny. Sorry it is too early for me to come up with something witty, you will just have to be satisfied with that. I love you.

  81. Are there people out there whose heads are ever not-full? I can’t even imagine such a a state.

  82. Are there people out there whose heads are ever not-full? I can’t even imagine such a state.

    Cassandra recently posted Diversion – The Agnostic Delusion.

  83. Stories of my heroes seeming suspiciously like criminals as small children are my favourite.

    klementineisme recently posted Compromise.

  84. That song made me cry, because I relate and then I got sucked into YouTube and spent an hour and a half watching Tim Minchin videos and completely forgot what I was doing. But now I’m back from that adventure to say that I tend not to write anything, because I have too much to say or to say silly inconsequential things, because the important things I really want to say are difficult to express, so keep on being awesome and inspiring and saying things both silly and important. :)

    tinsenpup recently posted {this moment}.

  85. I love love love that play, and I love that song. I am so glad you posted it.

  86. Love the last line. And I totally relate. I feel like that ALL the time pretty much.

  87. And THAT is the absolute BEST description in the history of EVER of what it’s like when you’re trying to write but your brain is on overdrive and the rest of you can’t keep up.
    Thank you.

    Chris Dean recently posted ZAP-UZZ! (f#cked-up fairy tales for the seriously twisted at heart).

  88. Your title explains the conundrum so well.

  89. 91
    FushigiFox

    I just love that mental image of knife-welding bloody child over a shattered piggy bank. someone needs to do a manga graphic of that, all Gloomy Bear style.

  90. “…and when I need to be reminded that writing is very much like life, in that it is sometimes incredibly hard, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t also incredibly worthwhile.”

    SO MUCH STUFF in my head too. Your post was a great reassurance. Solidarity! Also, glad to know I wasn’t the only child who hacked at her piggy bank with a sharp object.

    Janice recently posted Passwords.

  91. You should have one chapter of your new book be one long ass run-on sentence. That would be some breath taking awesomeness.

  92. mwhahaha i need to reorder my meds too! (or rather should have called couple days ago…) Amen, sister.

  93. That song was great, exactly what I needed to get the previous song that was stuck in my head out. As much as I love Get Set Go, I really shouldn’t be humming “I love your vagina” or “I hate everybody” while at work, because I eventually progress to singing them under my breath and I really don’t want to get fired.

  94. I am in awe of that great piggy bank that is your brain. Can’t wait to read the book that shakes out of it.

    ponymartini recently posted The Seven Things That Haunt Me From My Childhood.

  95. I think that glass/ceramic piggy banks were designed by a sadist. Why make a bank that has to be destroyed to get the money? To frustrate – and possibly mutilate – young children, that’s why.

    Sue recently posted Projection Lamp replacement.

  96. I think there’s something in the water, because I’m going through this exact same thing right now.

    Emelie recently posted It’s not an unhealthy relationship, I swear..

  97. I wonder if it is something in the air, maybe the weird weather lately. I have been having all kinds of problems the last few weeks with trying to keep my shit together and the voices in my head will not shut up for anything. The only way I find I can get a moment of quiet is reading. For whatever reason I have always been able to pick up a book and the voices quiet down. So I have gotten a lot of reading done the past few weeks but the house is a mess and the kids are getting away with a lot more than normal.

  98. I echo what Linda said. Whatever you do, don’t stick a knife in your head to unstick the story!

  99. Only you could write like this, and that is why I love you. I so enjoyed this post.

  100. Take all the time you need—we’ll be here.

  101. I just read this and realized I needed to refill my meds and I did. Without the blood or the pennies though. Just with a phone call and some caffeine. This time. So thanks!

  102. True story: not three minutes after reading this, I couldn’t remember whether or not I finished it.
    And I too have a ton of unfinished stores in my queue. So if nothing else, you’re definitely not alone.

    Maya recently posted I Am So Proud of Myself Right Now.

  103. Just bought a kindle so bring on the new release! >:) -Iva

  104. Probably already said, but don’t use a steak knife – or any kind of knife – or any pointy or non-pointy instrument to aid in getting the pennies out of your head. You may shatter your skull resulting in blood-soaked brains and your mother is not in the next room to help you. Victor would just tell you to stop making another mess.

  105. I’m reading your first book right now, along with the blog, and look forward to the next. Write it out, because like you say – it can be easier to write anything than just keep it all in.

  106. Poor piggy bank. Luckily, mine had a stopper. =)

  107. You are so hilarious AND my new favorite blogger!! I have two golden boys and this reminds me of so many things they have done. Isn’t being a parent fun! LOL

    I totally wish I could write like you!! I am trying though and I will surely turn to your blog to keep inspired. Thank you!!!

  108. In an undefineable way, this was a better Mother’s Day nostalgia post than all those hearts and flowers sweeping around the internet. Bloody piggy bank mess seems to sum it up nicely.

  109. Yeah. Been there. Still there.

    Crap just gets lodged up there and then my mouth starts going and I’m over here then I’m over there and my husband is looking at me all scrunchy-faced and he knows what I’m talking about but he doesn’t get that because I have 42 things going on upstairs they are all running down the stairs at the same time and they’re certainly not lined up in an orderly fashion…and well, you get it.

    And stairs make me tired. Really tired.

    ASassyRedhead recently posted Mom, I might be sounding all thankful and crap but I still want your gumbo pot..

  110. 112
    Kay Simpson

    We’re here for you. Thanks for the great song,

  111. So many things to thank you for…. I watched your video link and cried as I listened to the words that I am certain are rolling around inside my child’s head come to life. They seemed familiar but I had never heard this at all…. then I looked it up and discovered the absolute genius of Tim Minchin on the other end.

    Thank you Jenny.
    For shaking your head, for playing with piggy banks, for forgetting your medication and for remembering it, for being the strong so very strong woman that you are and for allowing us all to share a little piece of you.

  112. Jenny. You are valiant and brave because every day you continue on and you speak for so many of us. I’m lucky because I found a medication that works for me and so many others cannot find the right combination. You just keep on keepin’ on, for you and all of us,

  113. Jenny this is completely unrelated to your post but I thought of you IMMEDIATELY when seeing this article today (hope it brightens your day/week/month/year):

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/08/crazy-thrift-store-finds_n_5264226.html

  114. Jenny, thanks so much for this post and that song. I’m having a bout of extreme introversion that’s made me sensitive to seemingly everything, and it’s hard to get through the day when it doesn’t feel like there’s any quiet to be found. It’s especially poignant because I’m in grad school, so the thoughts and stories are right up Matilda’s alley. I’m over here crying the good cry because that’s what it takes to push on through the noise.

  115. 117
    Lisa L. Swanson

    Thank you, Jenny. Thank you so incredibly much for sharing yourself here on your blog, where we can read it and realize how much we are truly NOT ALONE in these things. If it happens to you, and it happens to me, it must be happening to so many others as well. You are a shiny star (and not a flaming ball of gas, lol) that helps guide me, and I send you many virtual comforts, joys, & internal-noise-reducing ear plugs (don’t we wish THOSE existed, right?). Hang on, dear heart.

  116. You had me at murder

  117. Can’t wait for your book. I always remind myself that if the endless chatter in my head ever stops, that’s when I really need to be worried because I’ve probably died.

  118. Hmmm…Yes yes i relate to a lot of this… I can enhance this statement as I was grabbed by the title…clicked the link and promptly forgot i did that… And was like oh what is this open tab.. Oh yeah…and then got distracted and forgot …And yes…I was never able to save money in my piggy bank and I have even taught my daughter how to turn hers over and shake them out…

    fangboner1 recently posted Two ways to see it.

  119. Yes, yes, and yes! Exactly how it is with ADHD for me…too many words roaming around in my head to even know where to start writing. The little girl singing…awesome! Never heard that song before, but yes…when the quiet comes and people’s mouths are still moving, but you can’t hear them anymore! Looking forward to your next book, Jenny! xo

  120. Heard on NPR (so it must be true) that researchers have discovered that the drug Ecstasy has been used to successfully treat PTSD in mice. Will be a few years before available for humans but I’d be happy to volunteer for that research. You?

  121. 123
    Melissa H.

    Slow claps Jenny. Perfectly captured. My day has been made!

  122. 124
    N°1 in particular

    I stuck more crap on my Pinterest boards a week ago Wednesday while waiting in the car for my kid to get his freshly-written ADD Rx from our family doctor. The following day, I swallowed the last of MY meds and begin kicking my own ass for not remembering to plan ahead. Denise in VA (#18) nailed it—the irony…the effing irony! And here I was feeling Oh-so-smart, because (at the tender age of 50) I’d developed a pattern whereby I keep my meds (metered out in a plastic SMTWTFS-compartmented box) and a bottle of water next to the bed so when my Mr wakes me with, “Honey? Time to take your meds,” the pills get swallowed and the day, everyone’s day, will be better for it. So I call our doc, but I forgot it’s Thursday, his day off. Friday arrives without meds and I’ve forgotten all about getting them. My Mr is like, “Not on my watch!” and calls our doc for meds, but is told I am overdue for my every-6-months meds check appt & the soonest appt is Monday morning. He books it for me. But I’m fine because I found 3 more shells I brought back from FL in January & have gotten out my 55-gallon rubbermaid tote full of shells & they’re shiny & colorful & some are really smooth & feel good under my fingertips & I imagine all the awesome things I could do with them & I’m back on Pinterest looking for the bestest idea ever. By the time I leave for my doctor appt Monday, the livingroom looks like a tsunami from Sanibel Island passed through. When I get home I see there’s still one couch cushion without shells or assorted craft-related crap on it, so I have a place to sit while I start us digging out. I think anyone with ADD/ADHD ought to have a pharmacy like Melanie’s (#22)…it should be a law because it’d protect humanity’s majority from the creative, but chaotic few who’d make getting anything done nearly impossible to kinda death-defying. On the other hand, knowing there’s an Amy (#69) out there, makes me kick my ass a little less hard (I mean that as a compliment, as in, “Amy, you get an A+, a ten-point-oh, and a gold star in ADDism!” ’cause I could’ve executed that move much better). And to all of the medical professionals out there who’ve suggested I enter reminders on my smartphone calendar, I appreciate your intent to be helpful, and I intend to follow through, but when I got out my phone, I remembered I haven’t read The Bloggess in a couple of days and by the time I was caught up, my phone was almost dead so now it’s charging and I’m on the computer so it’ll have to wait until Jenny (hopefully) write something about ADD and I remember I should enter reminders in my phone…right after I check out what she pinned this week! In case you wanna know, when I take my meds I can think and act in straight lines instead of being all wonky—without them shit still gets done, but it takes much longer and is far messier.

  123. 125
    N°1 in particular

    P.S. I was just hoping to explain why I think “People with ADD are too easily distracted to be expected to remember to reorder their ADD meds. And that’s why this post exists.” And why I now have a wooden box with 10 pounds of shells hot-glued to it and bandaids on my index fingers and thumbs.

  124. This is why I love Jenny Lawson. It’s like reading a chaotic train wreck of awesome! So good to know you survived the vicious glass piggy bank attack and came up to be a fabulous adult person.

  125. Please be gentle with your inner piggy bank. Looking forward to seeing what you shake out.

  126. I’m sad about the piggy bank. It was purple, wasn’t it? sigh

    That Nerdy Girl recently posted Requiem for The Aftermath.

  127. You’re still ahead of me, Jenny, so take a deep cleansing breath, watch some Doctor Who and relax….
    After all, you’ve earned it.

    The Hook recently posted It’s Freaky Friday… Hook Style..

  128. That girl is going to grow up to be Amanda Palmer

  129. I laughed at the words then I cried at the song then I went back to laugh at the words again. I really hope my pennies start to shake loose and I do so hope it’s worth it.

    JJ - 84thand3rd recently posted Apple & Cinnamon Breakfast Cookies {GF, DF}.

  130. So, it’s really creepy that as soon as I read piggy bank, I stopped reading and thought about my scenario. …it was almost exactly the same as yours, except you forgot the part about mom crying because it was her childhood bank.

  131. This: “sometimes the only thing harder than writing is not writing”
    Perfection.

    mossum recently posted Just a tad....

  132. 134
    Rebeccca

    Thank you for sharing this. Your blog is where I come to when I’m feeling lost. Thank you for that.

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