I mean, it’s so, so accurate.

Have you used Electric Literature’s automatic male novelist description generator to see how a male author would describe you?  Because it’s quite awesome.

Here’s mine:

“She had curves like a juicy bedsheet and I shuddered to correct her.”

Nailed it.

261 replies. read them below or add one

  1. I’m going to generate descriptions for all my friends now 😂

    Liked by 2 people

    Gary recently posted How to cook the perfect chicken maryland.

  2. “She had an ass like an expensive popsicle and I pined to ravish her.”

    Thanks. I think.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. She had knockers like a tempestuous bedsheet and I wanted teabag her. >.<

    Liked by 2 people

  4. “She had boobs like a plump berry and I wished to correct her.” I’ve vaguely disappointed but not really surprised.

    Like

  5. Oooh, I must do this… 😛

    Like

    The Hellion recently posted Just Some Funny Weird Stuff….

  6. She had legs like a silken mango and I dreaded to marry her.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. She had a rear end like a luscious pillow and I want to marry her. Which, oddly enough, is how my husband proposed to me.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. “She had curves like a tempestuous bedsheet and I longed fondle her.”

    Apparently my author has a thing for fondling the flat chests of angry women.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. She had eyes like a tempestuous bunny rabbit and I resolved to teabag her.

    That does not sound like something I would like.

    Like

  10. She had knockers like a silken princess and I longed to hire her. That was going really well right up until the end.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. She had knockers like a dewy kitten and I wished, marry her. (Spot on……)

    Like

  12. She had a butt like a wrinkled mango and I wished to spar with her. ?!?

    Liked by 2 people

  13. She had a butt like a silken ghost and I did not care to correct her. Perfect.

    Like

  14. She had a rump like a shrill popsicle and I did not care to fondle her.

    I’ll take that! 😂

    Like

  15. I have a complexion like a few waterfall and he ached to fondle me.

    Like

  16. Dewy…not few…stupid fat fingers.

    Like

  17. She had legs like a bulbous bedsheet and I shuddered to grope her.

    Like

  18. “She had boobs like a plump mountain and I resolved to teabag her.”

    Ew.

    Like

  19. She had boobs like a bountiful bedsheet and I thirsted to marry her.

    Like

  20. She had legs like a luscious bedsheet and I wanted to ignore her.

    Ignoring sounds about right

    Liked by 1 person

  21. She had knockers like a silken princess and I longed to proposition her.

    Like

  22. She had hooters like a luscious pillow and I planned to correct her. Neither my hooters nor my pillows need correcting.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. “She had boobs like a bountiful waterfall and I refused to teabag her.” Y’all I am dyingggggg

    Liked by 1 person

    findingsatoriblog recently posted It’s not you… It’s me..

  24. She had lips like a juicy kitten and I shudder to booty call her.

    Like

  25. “She had a rump like a silken waterfall and i dreaded to correct her.”

    Like

  26. She had curves like a soft snow cone and I needed to climb her. YOWZA!

    Like

  27. She had a rear end like a juicy pony and I thirsted to ignore her 😮

    Like

  28. She had boobs like a shrill pillow and I wanted to marry her. 😦

    Like

  29. 29
    Karyn Doherty

    She had a rump like a silken princess, and I needed to booty call her.

    How…romantic?

    Like

  30. She had hair like a gleaming tulip and I shuddered to marry her.

    Like

  31. “She had curves like a soft pony and I thirsted to ravish her.” Ummmm what 😅

    Like

  32. She had curves like a soft pony and I wanted to marry her. Yep I’m a children’s book :::sigh::

    Liked by 2 people

  33. “She had curves like a soft pony and I thirsted to marry her.”
    Lol!!

    How did he KNOW about my soft pony-like curves????

    Liked by 1 person

  34. She had hair like a gleaming tulip and I shuddered to marry her.

    Like

  35. Best thing ever. He ached to marry me though, though. Not very exciting.

    Liked by 1 person

    pokerpilgrim recently posted The Best Places to Eat in Neptune Beach.

  36. She has knockers like a bulbous ice cream cone and I shuddered to marry her.

    Like

  37. She had an ass like a(n) expensive popsicle and I pinned to ravish her. Ha ha ha

    Like

  38. “She had a butt like a silken princess and I refused to compliment her.” um…. RUDE.

    Liked by 3 people

  39. She had knockers like a wrinkled kitten, and I shuddered to booty call her.

    Wow, even meme generators are mean!

    Liked by 1 person

  40. She had boobs like a bountiful berry and I longed to mansplain to her.

    Liked by 1 person

  41. “She had gams like a tempestuous mountain and I resolved to teabag her.”
    Huh. Why can’t men ever learn how to talk to a woman?!

    Like

  42. She had legs like a silken mango and dreaded to ravish her.

    Like

  43. “She had knockers like a juicy kitten and I shuddered to ravish her.”

    Like

  44. She had boobs like a bountiful fortress and I thirsted to marry her. 🤣🤣🤣

    Like

  45. She had curves like a luscious expensive ice cream cone and I lusted to compliment her.

    Like

  46. She had a rear end like a plump melon and I proposed to hire her….

    Like

  47. She had boobs like a plump mountain and I resolved to teabag her.

    This sounds soooo like my husband.

    Like

  48. “She had curves like a juicy bedsheet and I thirsted to booty call her.”

    Like

  49. She had a butt like a silken bedsheet and I wanted to admire her. <~~~ I’ll take it, lol

    Like

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  50. Tried both my name (Thomas) and nickname (Marjorie) and was horrified by both. But let me tell you, if I did have a vagina, I would definitely be calling it the “silken princess.” (Thanks, Automatic Male Novelist!)

    Liked by 1 person

    Thomas (MJ) recently posted But Serving All That Jazz, Helen.

  51. She had a rump like a juicy pony and I did not care to marry her. Ha!!

    Liked by 1 person

  52. She had knockers like a dewy kitten and I wished to correct her.

    BwhahahahahH

    Liked by 2 people

  53. She had legs like a shiny pony and a deigned to compliment her. Aw. So sweet!

    Like

  54. “She had an ass like a juicy tulip and I resolved to marry her.”

    Uhhhhhh….ewww and no!

    E

    Liked by 2 people

  55. I wouldn’t be shocked if some misguided/misogynistic soul found this out of context and excitedly cribbed it for his own use.

    Like

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  56. “She had knockers like a silken princess and I longed to proposition her.”

    Like

  57. She had an ass like a shrill popsicle and I planned to ravish her.

    As someone with a huge ass, I feel this isn’t something would ever say about me. haha.

    Like

  58. 58
    Colleen - @amadisonmom

    She had a butt like a tempestuous pony and I deigned to marry her.

    Like

  59. “She had knockers like a silken princess and I longed to proposition her.” Yup.

    Like

  60. She had knockers like a dewy kitten and I wished to admire her.

    To be honest, this sounds like a love note to my introvert, lesbian lover lol

    Liked by 1 person

  61. 61
    Stefanie Cloutier

    She had knockers like a dewy pillow and I wanted to marry her.

    Like

  62. Either the longer winter has frozen my brain cells, or I’m not figuring out how to do this correctly. There’s five columns. What if a person’s name is 3 letters, or 8 letters? I so confused.

    Like

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  63. We have the same first name, so….yeah.

    Liked by 1 person

  64. She had a rump like a silken waterfall and I thirsted to marry her.

    Like

  65. “She had calves like a silken pony and I refused to hire her.” – Poetry.

    Like

  66. She had curves like a silken bedsheet and I resolved to compliment her.

    Like

  67. She had a butt like an expensive kitten and I dreaded to marry her.

    I wouldn’t have married you anyway, you loser author.

    Liked by 4 people

  68. 68
    officerripley

    She was old so I refused to acknowledge her existence.

    Like

  69. She had a rear end like a silken princess and I ached to admire her.

    Well, shit, that’s a let down.

    Liked by 1 person

  70. Ha! I didn’t know there was a generator for this. These are hilarious! And accurate…

    Like

    Andrea G recently posted Pot, paintings and palm rats, oh my!.

  71. She had hair like a soft bedsheet and I shuddered to proposition her.

    Like

  72. She had a complexion like a tempestuous bedsheet and I needed to ravish her.
    Actually, I AM very pale and also dealing with hormonal acne issues right now, so a complexion like a tempestuous bedsheet actually makes some twisted sense.

    Like

  73. “She had hair like a silken popsicle and I deigned to caress her.”

    ROTFLMAO

    Like

    mommatrek recently posted WOD.

  74. “She had knockers like a silken princess and I longed to marry her.”

    Like

  75. LOL! I did my one of my friend’s names and it is awesomely terrible: She had knockers like a wrinkled kitten and I shuddered to booty call her.

    Like

  76. I hate to be this person, but I think you spelled your name wrong. I’ll show myself out…

    Like

  77. 77
    Gigi Rambles

    She had hair like a luscious fortress and I thirsted to insult her.

    Sounds about right…

    Like

  78. “She had a rump like a shrill popsicle and I did not care to fondle her.”

    That’s fine. Good day to you, Sir. I said GOOD DAY!!

    Like

  79. She had knockers like a wrinkled kitten and I dreaded to marry her.

    Damn my wrinkly kitten boobs.

    Like

  80. “She had curves like a silken popsicle and I proposed to marry her”

    Like

  81. “She had a rear end like a luscious pillow and I trembled to marry her”. My boyfriend says this is totally accurate.

    Like

  82. She had curves like a juicy kitten (yuck) and I shuddered to correct her? WTF

    Like

  83. As I have the same first name, my comment was the same. The revulsion I feel is all my own, though (or maybe not…)

    Like

  84. Sadly… she had eyes like a tempestuous pony and I deigned to admire her pretty much sums up the way all guys have ever seen me…

    Like

  85. She had eyes like a juicy pony and I resolved to booty call her. Juicy pony? Hmmmm….

    Like

  86. She had a butt like a silky princess and I refused to compliment her…

    WHATEVER BRO! This silky princess wants none of your attention!

    Like

  87. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Thank you for this today. I needed a giggle. Mine isn’t as good as most of the others, though.

    “She had a complexion like a juicy princess, and I dreaded to ravish her.”

    I’m afraid this indicates he doesn’t understand the word ravish. He’s missing out.

    Like

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  88. She had boobs like an expensive tulip and I shuddered to ravish her! LMAO – perfect!

    Like

  89. She had a bust like an expensive kitten and I planned to marry her.

    Like

  90. 90
    T Macdonald

    “She had a complexion like a juicy princess and I resolved to ignore her.” Puts me in mind of Violet Beauregarde; I’d ignore me too!

    Like

  91. Vicki=She had hooters like a luscious pillow and I planned to correct her. I guess I’m ok with that. Leigh=She had legs like a juicy popsicle and I detested to proposition her. Well, that’s both slightly flattering and just plan mean.

    Like

  92. She had legs like a tempestuous princess and I thirsted to emotionally manipulate her.

    Like

  93. 93
    Faith Purdy

    She had a rump like a silken princess and I resolved to booty call her

    Like

  94. “She had boobs like a withered princess, and I needed to compliment her.” I don’t think that particular compliment is going to go over the way he hopes.

    Like

  95. She had a rear end like a silken princess and I needed to ignore her. Hmmm. I don’t think it works for my name, Mary S.

    Like

  96. She had lips like a luscious kitten, and I shuddered to marry her.
    As well you should, bro. As well you should.

    Like

  97. “She had eyes like a juicy kitten, and I ached to proposition her.”

    Seems about right.

    Like

    becomingcliche recently posted Notes From the Zookeeper: Team Player! And the Cutest Thing.

  98. She had knockers like a soft car and I longed to booty call her… vroom

    Like

  99. She had curves like a luscious pony and I deigned to hire her. (had to go to my middle name to finish)
    At any rate, I suddenly feel like I should be pulling a carriage at Central Park. This isn’t as fun as I thought it would be. 😉

    Like

  100. “She had a bust like a shrill popsicle and I ached to fondle her.”

    Can’t argue with that!

    Like

  101. 101
    Jan Jenkins

    She had curves like a silken bedsheet and I resolved to fondle her.

    Like

  102. “She had legs like a tempestuous mango and I thirsted to ignor her”

    Love it. Thanks!

    Like

  103. “She had curves like silken pillow and I wanted to marry her.”
    Well, that’s kinda wholesome and disappointing

    Like

  104. She has gams like a silken pillow and I trembled to marry her!

    Like

  105. She has boobs like a plump berry and I deigned to admire her!

    (had to use part of my middle name, but I dare say this is quite accurate! LOL)

    Like

  106. “She had eyes like a juicy popcicle and I wanted to correct her.”
    Hm… Why are my eyes melting?

    Like

  107. 107
    DragnTears

    “She had knockers like a wrinkled kitten and I craved to booty call her!” Have they been spying on me???? How do they know???

    Like

  108. “She had mammaries like a luscious pillow and I refused to compliment her.” – well that’s not very nice of him 😦

    Like

  109. “She had knockers like a wrinkled tulip and I deigned to climb her”

    Like

  110. she had a butt like a silken princess and i refused to complement her..wow

    Like

  111. “She has a complexion like a luscious tulip and I dreaded to booty call her” – and here I was thinking it was going to be nice .. haha

    Like

  112. She had a butt like a shrill popsicle, and I deigned to spar with her.

    I’m still trying to figure out “shrill popsicle”.

    Like

  113. She had an ass like an expensive kitten and I shuddered to mansplain to her…..
    Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

    Like

  114. She had an ass like a plump popsicle, and I deigned to admire her.

    Wait.

    Am I really the first Emily here???

    Like

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  115. “She had hair like a juicy melon and I proposed to ravish her.” Huh?

    Like

  116. She had calves like a silken mango and I wanted to marry her.
    My calves are AMAZING (silken if I’ve shaved) and the husband LOVES mangoes 😂

    Like

  117. She had a rear end like a juicy pony and I thirsted to ignore her.

    Well,that’s certainly…something.

    Like

  118. “She had eyes like a tempestuous pony and I had designed to marry her.” Not bad

    Like

  119. 119
    Danielle E.

    “She had lips like a silken bedsheet and I thirsted to marry her.” Well now… fans self

    Like

  120. I can’t get past “withered bunny rabbit”. Help. I’m stuck. WHO WITHERED THE BUNNY RABBIT!? And why would you proposition it? Hasn’t it been through enough, what with being withered? I need to go to bed.

    Like

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  121. 121
    Lisa Chavez

    She had legs like a luscious ghost and I longed to invade her. Hmm…my legs are ghostly white.

    Like

  122. 122
    Nichole C.

    “She had mammaries like a luscious pillow and I trembled to mansplain to her”

    Uncanny!

    Like

  123. “She had boobs like a creamy popsicle and I wanted to marry her”

    Like

  124. “She had hooters like a silken pony and I resolved to teabag her.” Wow, spooky. My husband is constantly telling me how silken my ponies are.

    Like

  125. “She had a butt like a wrinkled tulip and I dreaded to marry her.”

    Yeah, well I’m not so keen on your smelly scrotum, either!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  126. “She had an ass like an expensive popsicle and I did not care to marry her.”
    Well, thank god, because I’m already married and while my husband does love my ass, he’d never call it a popsicle, expensive or otherwise.

    Like

  127. She had a rump like a silken waterfall and I trembled to compliment her.

    Like

  128. She had a rump like a silken waterfall and I trembled to marry her.

    Like

  129. 129
    sara reichert

    “She had knockers like a silken princess and I longed to raw dog it with her.”
    What a love!

    Like

  130. 130
    Karen Reeves - Queenomedia

    She had a rump like a silken princess and I resolved to booty call her.
    Dang – the man of my dreams…. where have you been all my silken princess life?

    Like

  131. 131
    eleventhpercent

    I’m Jenni, just with ‘i’ instead of ‘y,’ so I have the same juicy bedsheet curves but I’m not marriage material: “… he shuddered to marry her.” Not the worst turn down I’ve gotten.

    Like

  132. She had curves like a tempestuous berry and I wished to proposition her. (I like it.)

    Like

  133. She had eyes like a juicy kitten and I ached to proposition her. What the heck ?? Juicy kitten ???

    Like

  134. She had a rear end like a silken popsicle and I pined to correct her.

    Like

  135. She had knockers like a wrinkled popsicle, and I resolved to compliment her.

    Like

  136. She had a rump like a silken waterfall and I trembled to marry her.

    Like

  137. 137
    Sarah Lunacorn

    Hell, yeah, I have knockers like a silken princess!

    Like

  138. 138
    Shannon White

    She had knockers like a wrinkled pillow and I wanted to marry her.
    HEYYYYY! I’ve got DDD Knockers not at all wrinkled but certainly like pillows and I have been competing with Zsa Zsa Gabor for years on this marriage thing, but as she is dead, so is my desire to marry anyone else, EVER, if I get out of the one I’m in without my wrinkled pillow knockers intentionally smothering him in his sleep. Now THAT’S some poetic shit right there.

    Like

  139. She had curves like a juicy kitten and I shuddered to booty call her

    Like

  140. “She had a butt like a silken popsicle and I ached to correct her.”
    A gentleman who compares my derriere to a frozen treat AND wants nothing more than to tell me why I’m wrong about everything?
    Sign me up, yo.

    Like

  141. 141
    Obviously named Natasha

    She had mammaries like a silken waterfall and I longed to ignore her.

    So I apparently have big saggy boobs with lots of silvery stretch marks? And apparently dudes can’t ignore me even if they want to. Ha, but I can ignore them.

    Like

  142. She had a rump like a silken waterfall and I trembled to admire her.

    M’kay.

    Like

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  143. “She has a rump like a silken waterfall and I wanted to marry her.” I’m not even sure what to do with this.

    Like

  144. “She had boobs like a fat lemon, and I deigned to marry her.” Lol!

    Like

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  145. ‪She had mammaries like a tempestuous tulip and I deigned to ignore her.‬

    Well, it does accurately asses my success with attracting men (or boys, back in the day)

    Like

  146. 146
    lunatrip128

    She had boobs like a plump kitten and I shuddered to grope her.

    …well if that’s not the worst possible thing ever. Condolences to all the other Amanda’s out there.

    Like

  147. 147
    alreadyselected

    She had lips like a juicy mountain and I refused to tea bag her (those crevices were full of teeth)

    Like

  148. ‘She had eyes like a juicy kitten and I ached to proposition her.’ …. I’m a bit creeped out by ‘juicy kitten’. That’s just not right.

    Like

  149. She had a butt like a tempestuous princess and I needed to booty call her.
    Well, okay….. not quite sure how I feel about this one.

    Like

  150. She had a butt like a wrinkled princess and I thirsted to ignore her.
    Figures.

    Like

  151. She had a voice like a fat pony and I longed to manhandle her.

    Like

  152. She had hooters like a silken bedsheets and I resolved to ignore her .

    Like

  153. She had knockers like a wrinkled tulip and I deigned to compliment her.

    Like

  154. She had a rear end like a silken princess and I expected to mansplain to her…
    What’s mansplaining?
    Wait do I wanna know that?
    Probably not.
    To me it sounds like a guy trying to explain something to me using dude-lingo and being completely incomprehensible…
    “I don’t get your mansplanation just used English dammit!!”
    If that’s the actual definition then awesome, if it’s not, don’t tell me because it’s probably gross and I don’t wanna know XD

    Like

  155. She had boobs like a bounteous bedsheet and I wanted to emotionally manipulate here.

    Like

  156. She had a butt like an expensive kitten and I thirsted to teabag her. Pure poetry. And my butt is EXACTLY like that, btw.

    Like

  157. 157
    Kim D Pritchard

    She had a rump like a luscious melon and I lusted to marry her. My rump is my best feature.

    Like

  158. 158
    Tammy Workinger

    She had a complexion like a dewy waterfall and I ached to fondle her.

    Like

  159. 159
    Chris Lawrence

    She had a butt like a wrinkled princess and I thirsted to ignore her.
    I feel a little sad…… just saying.

    Like

  160. 160
    Charity Caroline

    “She had a butt like a wrinkled kitten and I dreaded to correct her.”

    Huh.

    Like

  161. She had boobs like a bountiful ice cream cone, and i wanted to teabag her. oh dear.

    Like

  162. 162
    Maranda Daniels

    “She had a rear end like a silken princess and I longed to booty call her”

    Now I want to know what kind of rear end does a silken princess have?

    Like

  163. She had knockers like a dewy tulip and I hated to proposition her.

    Like

  164. “She had knockers like a silken pony and I deigned to correct her.”

    Wow

    Like

  165. She had curves like a tempestuous princess and I wanted to ravish her…. Love it! lol

    Like

  166. She had boobs like a bountiful bedsheet and I longed to manhandle her.

    I like the alliteration of bountiful bedsheet boobs 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  167. She had a complexion like a wrinkled mango and I did not care to insult her.

    Like

  168. She had knockers like a soft ghost and I thirsted to marry her.

    Like

  169. 169
    Britt Pearson

    She has a bust like a shrill popsicle and I ached to fondle her.

    Like

  170. She had a complexion like a wrinkled tulip and I dreaded to marry her. (That explains a few things.) *snort! Maybe my petals are about to fall off.

    Like

  171. She had a complexion like a silken princess and I needed to booty call her.

    Like

  172. “she had an ass like an expensive Popsicle and I pined to ravish her”

    okay…

    Like

  173. She had knockers like a wrinkled tulip and I dreaded to teabag her. Hmmmmm.

    Like

  174. 174
    Sharon Barrett

    She had knockers like a wrinkled kitten and I dreaded to mansplain to her.

    I beg your pardon, my knockers are exceptional!

    Like

  175. Remarkably spot on.
    “She had a rear end like juicy pony and I longed to marry her.”

    Like

  176. She had a rear end like a silken princess and I detested to ravish her.

    Oh, well, I’m sure I can find someone who will enjoy ravishing me.

    Like

  177. 177
    Crazy Jane

    She had curves like a silken bedsheet and I resolved to hire her

    Like

  178. “She had curves like a silken pillow and I planned to correct her”. BORING!

    Like

  179. Apparently I have tempestuous gams…but I just can’t make myself see this through to the end.

    Like

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  180. She had curves like a tempestuous kitten and I shuddered to booty call her.

    Like

  181. She had gams like a silken pillow and I trembled to marry her.

    Like

  182. Oops! I miswrote mine:
    “She had a rear end like juicy pony and I longed to correct her.”

    Remarkably, still spot on.

    Like

  183. She had calves like a middle-aged pillow and I did not care to fondle her

    Like

  184. 184
    kristen loper

    She had a rump like a shrill popsicle, and I did not care to fondle her

    . Sounds about right.

    Like

  185. She had a butt like a silken popsicle and I ached to her compliment. HA loving all these.

    Like

  186. She had boobs like a plump kitten and I shuddered to grope her. AWESOME.

    Like

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  187. She had boobs like a withered princess and I thirsted to compliment her.

    Yes, compliments please!

    Like

  188. She had a butt like a wrinkled princess and I thirsted to ignore her. Excuse me?! Rude!!!

    Like

  189. She had lips like a juicy mountain, and I refused to teabag her.
    Well.

    Like

  190. She had lips like a soft pony and I wished to correct her.

    Pony lips…I like it.

    Like

  191. She had eyes like a juicy kitten and I ached to proposition her.

    Like

  192. I have boobs like a bountiful bedsheet, but at least I’m marriage material.

    Like

  193. She had a rump like a silken waterfall and I thirsted to marry her.

    Like

  194. Juicy bedsheet oh god… i’m laughing so hard.

    Like

  195. She had a butt like a silken princess and I proposed to marry her.

    Like

  196. She had mammaries like a tempestuous tulip and I deigned to compliment her.

    I mean “tempestuous tulip” is actually pretty good, though, right?!

    Like

  197. She had eyes like a tempestuous pony and I deigned to admire her.
    Probabaly one of the nicest descriptions of myself ever.

    Liked by 1 person

  198. She had knockers like a silken ghost and I trembled to ravish her.
    I get so tired of hearing that. All day, everyday

    Like

  199. This was fun. Mine was
    She had legs like a luscious kitten and I shuttered to ravish her.
    So I have hairy legs? I’m going to go with soft legs instead. Lol

    Like

  200. She had boobs like and expensive popsicle and I did not care to mansplain to her!

    Like

  201. […] just discovered this ludicrous new challenge on The Bloggess—the place where I usually come across this type of crazy […]

    Like

  202. She had a rear end like a luscious princess and I longed to booty call her.

    Like

  203. My name only has four letters so I opted for the first of my middle name.
    “She had legs like a luscious ghost and he longed to emotionally manipulate her.”

    That sounds unkind.

    Like

  204. 204
    Lindsay H.

    She had legs like a luscious bedsheet, and I wanted to ignore her. Yep, accurate. 😛

    Like

  205. “She had an ass like an expensive popsicle, anf I did not care to ravish her.”
    Cold.

    Like

  206. 206
    Kimberly Dick

    She had a rump like a luscious melon and I lusted to marry her.

    Apparently my butt is so round it no longer looks like a butt?

    Like

  207. She had an ass like a wrinkled tulip and I dreaded to correct her.

    Well, BITE.ME. Mr. Male Author! 🙂

    Like

  208. She had a rear end like a juicy kitten and I detested to proposition her.

    Like

  209. She had a bust like a shrill tulip, and I shuddered to grope her!
    I never thought of my bust as shrill.

    Like

  210. She had knockers like a wrinkled tulip and I deigned to climb her.

    I feel like my author may have had a stroke halfway through…

    Like

    Rhubarb Swank recently posted not today, Satan.

  211. 211
    Pellington21

    She had calves like a juicy bedsheet and I shuddered to correct her.>Damn straight you should be scared to correct me. I’m never wrong.

    Like

  212. She had boobs like a fat lemon and I deigned to marry her. wompwomp*

    Like

  213. She had a rump like a silken bunny rabbit and I resolved to bootycall her.

    Like

  214. She had knockers like a soft ghost, and I longed to marry her.

    Like

  215. She had curves like a silken ghost and I proposed to correct her.

    Like

  216. She had Hooters like a luscious pillow and I planned to admire her. At least he wasn’t all grabby because I almost stopped at Hooters since mine are like luscious pillows.

    Like

    Vicky recently posted What the…?.

  217. She had eyes like a juicy kitten and I ached to proposition her…I can’t even…lol

    Like

  218. We poor SHE names “She had knockers like a wrinkled tulip” and “and he dreaded to admire her”- well I’d feel the same way about me given that description!!!

    Like

  219. 219
    LykkeLykke

    She had legs like a bolbouse python and I wanted to marry her.

    I really don’t know what to think about that

    Like

  220. “She had boobs like an expensive pony and I resolved to booty call her.” No, sir. You will not. I am a lady.

    Like

    The Midnight Goose recently posted Yum-Yum Friday: Quick(er) Chicken Cobbler.

  221. “She had a rump like a shrill popsicle and I did not care to fondle her.” Yep. Seems accurate to my love life although it makes my butt sound smaller.

    Like

  222. OMGness. I saw this on Facebook and was actually going to write a post about it. So I’ll share mine here instead: “She had a rear end like a tempestuous bedsheet and I longed to compliment her.” (I had to borrow a letter from my middle name because I ran out of letters.)

    Like

    Mona Andrei (aka Moxie-Dude) recently posted What if we were friends with our classic writers on Facebook?.

  223. “She had gams like a tempestuous mountain, and I thirsted to booty-call her.” Hmmm…I do have pretty good legs, but I wouldn’t compare them to mountains. Let’s try my middle name, Colleen: “She had a butt like a tempestuous pony, and I deigned to marry her.” Nope, doesn’t work, especially considering I have concave–no, make that negative ass. Still, it amuses me that “tempestuous” keeps coming up over and over again… 😉

    Like

  224. “She had a bust like a shrill popsicle and I ached to fondle her” Ew!

    Like

    Tanya Goffy recently posted Poetry Month – Federico G. Lorca.

  225. 225
    Genipher Miller

    Wait Jenny, shouldn’t your’s be “She had curves like a juicy bedsheet and I shuddered to admire her.” Y: admire (i like it even more!

    Like

  226. 226
    Babycakebread

    So I recently found a book called ‘You May Not Tie an Alligator to a Fire Hydrant: 101 Real Dumb Laws, and I just found this law in it and thought you might want to know about it, since it seems like this would apply to you. The law reads that you need a $25 a year license to own a dead alligator. Just seemed like it would be something that you would want to know about, if you don’t already.

    Like

  227. “She had knockers like a silken princess and I longed to insult her.” (Sharp left turn there at the end—this is a man with ISSUES…)

    Like

  228. “She had gams like a silken lemon and I trembled to marry her.”

    I have no idea where to go with that. 😀

    Like

  229. Oops, let’s see what the middle name does. “She had an ass like an expensive popsicle and I pined to ravish her.”

    I’m not getting the popsicle ass thing AT ALL.

    Like

  230. I love this! “She had a butt like an expensive kitten and he dreaded to marry her.” Don’t blame the guy. That’s pretty weird.

    Like

  231. She had an ass like an expensive muffin and I wanted to correct her. Oh gosh!!! xD

    Like

  232. So I just went through all the steps, and thought, geez, I got the same thing Jen did. Yeah. My name is also Jen, so that should not really have been a shocker.

    Like

  233. She had boobs like a plump berry and I lusted to marry her.

    Like

  234. She had boobs like a plump berry and I ached to mansplain to her.

    This checks out.

    Like

  235. She had a badonkadonk like a tempestuous bunny rabbit and I proposed to hire her.

    Like

  236. She had legs like a lusciuos ghost and I resolved to fondle her.

    Like

  237. she had knockers like a silken bedsheet and i shuddered to ravish her.
    …that makes perfect sense.

    Like

  238. She had knockers like a wrinkled kitten and I shuddered to booty call her… Nailed it. 🙂

    Like

  239. “She had knockers like a wrinkled tulip and I deigned to compliment her”

    Okay, that’s…good…???

    🙂

    Like

  240. She had calves like a silken melon and I resolved to compliment her. (fairly innocuous I guess!)

    Like

  241. She had an ass like an expensive popsicle and I pined to ravish her.

    Like

  242. 242
    Curiouser & Curiouser

    “She had a butt like a soft princess and I thirsted to mansplain to her.” Foreplay is dead, ya’ll!

    Like

  243. “She had a rump like a silken waterfall and I wanted to raw dog it with her.” Hahahahaha I fucking love this!

    Like

  244. She had boobs like an expensive muffin and I shuddered to booty call her…

    Oh dear. LOL

    Like

  245. She had a butt like a wrinkled princess and I thirsted to ignore her. That just about sums up my life to be honest…

    Like

  246. Mine was she had legs like a fat popsicle

    Like

  247. She had legs like a silken tulip and I deigned to ignore her

    I love the silken tulip legs but I don’t want to be ignored and what is deigned anyway 😆😤

    Like

  248. She had gams like a juicy mountain and I resolved to invade her…kinky.

    Like

  249. 249
    Janis Lynch

    she had a complexion like a wrinkled muffin and i trembled to emotionally manipulate her

    Like

  250. 250
    Shelley MacGregor

    She had knockers like a wrinkled tulip and I deigned to marry her.

    Like

  251. “She had a rump like a silken berry and I deigned to marry her.”

    How progressive of you.

    Like

  252. “She had a rump like a silken waterfall and I trembled to proposition her.”

    Like

  253. 253
    Jennifer Cook

    I’m a Jennifer, so we have the exact same description. WTF is a juicy bedsheet? Nevermind, I don’t think I want to know.

    Like

  254. “She had a rear end like a silken pillow and I planned to marry her.”
    OKay?

    Like

  255. “She had a rump like a silken princess, & I resolved to booty call her.” I tried my middle name too, & it went basically the same… always a booty call, never a bride, I guess.

    Like

  256. She had a butt like a tempestuous pony and i deigned to marry her.

    Like

  257. She had boobs like a plump mountain and I resolved to tea-bag her.

    Like

  258. Dammit. Am I the only one who got through the name, wondered how Jenny and I had exactly the same description, then realized we share a name? I’m not ashamed.

    Like

  259. 259
    Gwendolyn

    She had hair like a gleaming tulip and I shuddered to grope her.

    Like

  260. “She had an ass like a luscious pony, and I resolved to marry her.”

    Haha. Thanks for this amazing laugh. Needed to tonight to deal with a bad case of the sundays.

    Like

  261. “She had knockers like a soft melon, and I proposed to marry her.”

    This is pretty accurate actually… 🙂

    Like

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