no one thinks this is funny but me

Just tell me I don’t have Frankenstein.

Today Victor and I were driving home and I said, “The other day I saw an iguana sunning himself on our neighbors fence” and Victor looked at me like I was crazy but I know what I saw. And when we turned it I was like, “THERE IT FUCKING IS! DO YOU NOT SEE THATContinue reading “Just tell me I don’t have Frankenstein.”

UPDATED: I’m gonna be a vampire. Maybe.

(SEE UPDATES BELOW.) I always get spam comments on my blog about weird stuff like voodoo spells and contacting the dead, but a few days ago one came in telling me that I could become a vampire. One of my favorite things to do with these sort of comments is to actually respond and see how farContinue reading “UPDATED: I’m gonna be a vampire. Maybe.”

This is what comes from insomnia.

A few days ago I couldn’t sleep so I decided to take the new templates on picmonkey for Christmas cards but then remake them completely for my own amusement. They’re probably too late to get by Christmas but I thought I’d share them here because they made me laugh. Victor says some of these aren’t evenContinue reading “This is what comes from insomnia.”

Jesus, you guys. I DON’T HAVE THE ANSWERS. But I do have a lot more questions now.

Every so often I go look at the search terms that brought people to my blog and then I think STOP DOING THAT. But then I decide that it would make a funny post and share some of them even though writing these phrases here will inevitably just lead to more terribly baffling searches leading here.Continue reading “Jesus, you guys. I DON’T HAVE THE ANSWERS. But I do have a lot more questions now.”

This isn’t a real post

This isn’t a real post. Just checking in to say a few things that I have on my list of things to write about but that I haven’t written about because I haven’t had time to make into a polished post because I’ve been working on my next book (FINALLY MY BRAIN IS ALMOST WORKINGContinue reading “This isn’t a real post”

I’m on a lot of cold medication so it’s possible this isn’t as funny as I think it is.

I’m on a lot of cold meds but I thought you’d enjoy. Or not. Stop judging me. I’m sick. They’re in my shop if you want one, but be aware that everyone you wear it around is going to tell you that your shirt is on inside out. But then you can flash them a raccoonContinue reading “I’m on a lot of cold medication so it’s possible this isn’t as funny as I think it is.”