I’m on a lot of cold medication so it’s possible this isn’t as funny as I think it is.

I’m on a lot of cold meds but I thought you’d enjoy. Or not.  Stop judging me.  I’m sick.

 

They’re in my shop if you want one, but be aware that everyone you wear it around is going to tell you that your shirt is on inside out.  But then you can flash them a raccoon face (and flash them in general if you aren’t wearing something underneath) and they won’t bother you again.  EVERYONE WINS.

PS. A few of you are having trouble getting the video to load so (spoiler alert) this is what you’re missing:

I may have found my new author photo.
I may have found my new author photo.

140 thoughts on “I’m on a lot of cold medication so it’s possible this isn’t as funny as I think it is.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. It’s pretty damn funny and I’ve only had one cup of coffee today and no other altering medications. I probably should be but it’s too early for me to start drinking.

  2. Best shirt ever is right. Of course, I’m also on massive cold medication thanks to the family plague.

  3. Hilarious!! And Just FYI – I cannot pass those giant metal chickens at HEB without thinking, knock, knock motherfucker!!! Cracks me up every time!!

  4. I need one in a size that will fit my 18-year-old cat. She needs to looks a lot scarier now that she is old. Come to think of it, I need to look a lot scarier now that I am old.

  5. Hunter is like Victor in cat form. I just picture the two of them sitting side-by-side, rolling their eyes in synchronized lack of amusement. You are hysterical and brilliant, Jenny. Screw what Hunter and Victor think!

  6. Well, Hunter is not amused, but I am! The shirt is awesome! I feel reasonably ok today, after going through a mini effexor withdrawal yesterday. So glad the hubz was able to pick it up for me last night! I was all, “I feel like I have electrical adrenalin zapping my brain?”… and I looked it up, and it totally said, “Withdrawal symptoms can appear as little as 4 hours after a missed dose, and can include AN ELECTRICAL ZAPPING SENSATION IN THE BRAIN!” Which totally made me exclaim loudly, and with glee, “Holy crap! See? I’m NOT crazy!!!” At least not about brain zaps anyway.

    (I totally get those electrical-feeling shocks when I have to taper off my meds. It’s not just you. ~ Jenny)

  7. If you weren’t on so much medication, you probably would have realized that many/most guys will never even notice there’s printing on the inside of the shirt. Hell, that probably doesn’t matter if you’re wearing something else under. Our gaze is just sort of under control of neurochemical pattern matching = lifted shirt? Look under!

  8. It’s funny. I am sick too. I called poison control because I thought I was violently ill from a bad turnip.

  9. I think Hunter has probably experienced a lot of unusual occurrences. Raccoon-face shirt is probably waaaayy down the list of things that go “boo!”

  10. Freaking dadgum hilarious shirt!!
    As far as medication goes……. “I’ll have what she’s having !!
    Love it!

  11. While totally awesome, this is one of the tamer things you’ve brought into your home. At this point anything that doesn’t have antlers or a giant metal beak probably isn’t going to earn a second glance from Hunter, even if it makes the rest of us furiously happy.

  12. The shirt is glorious and hilarious, not just the cold meds! LOL

    Thanks for the top tip Libby! I am not awesome at taking my Effexor at the same time every day… I damn sure better make a conscious effort to do so now … stupid brain chemicals 😉

    Racoon shirts and meds for everyone!!!

  13. I’m not sure it’s that Hunter has no sense of humor so much as he’s like “Yeah. So? Just another day in this house. Wake me up when something TRULY weird happens.”

  14. I’m on multiple mind-altering meds. I’ve been taking everything under the sun for 15 years and everything I take wears off after 2 years or gives me a psychotic episode like daydreaming about stabbing myself in the face. Now I’m on lithium and Prozac and trying a 3rd in hopes that this one (my 7th in as many months) will be the thing. But every time I read one of your posts it’s like tapping into the best possible medication in the world, if only for a fleeting moment. Thanks for what you do, Jenny. And for writing through sickness. And for this hilarious shirt. You’re a blessing.

  15. The video is the hilarious part. I hope you feel better soon, Jenny. But, I love you plague ridden or no.

  16. Clearly your cat is quite used to your antics and unimpressed with the obviously fake raccoon face (from the cat’s perspective). Still, not bad.

  17. You’re just super duper awesome and amaze-balls and I love you! <3 Thanks for the happy smile.

  18. I always wondered what writers do when they are not putting pen to paper…thanks for the insight

  19. I am not on any cold meds (though maybe I should be since I think I may be coming down with the plague), but that made me laugh so hard that I wheezed, snorted, and teared up at the same time. Plus I have the sound turned wayyyy down on my computer (unlike some of my speaker-phone-turned-all-the-way-up colleagues, I believe in courtesy in the workplace, people), so everyone walking by got to see me with my ear stuck against the speaker making sounds like a truffle pig while tears ran down my face.

    If I don’t post for a while, it may be because my coworkers decided to involuntarily commit me.

  20. That is so funny!!!! Love it. Just need to put it on a colored shirt and no one will know it’s there til you flip it up. 🙂

  21. Hilarious – I’ve never seen one like that before – I laughed out loud when you pulled it up to show the face..

  22. Hahah that’s awesome. I’d just wear a sweater over top, so the see-throughness is solved, but it’s even more unexpected!!

  23. Fantastic. My cats never react when we want them to, but damned if they can’t chase something invisible across the couch, my desk, our bed…

  24. Cold meds or not Jenny, That’s funny. Also, that would be an awesome authors picture. If not in your books, maybe on Goodreads.

  25. This is hysterical!!! I love it.

    I also respect and appreciate the fact that you are sick and on heavy doses of meds and you put lipstick on before hitting play on the video … That Takes Commitment Baby. I didn’t even do that for work today and had to leave the house to get here.

  26. I think it’s pretty dang hysterical myself. What I also love is how, when you look at Hunter and yell, “BOO!”, he looks up, CLEARLY thinks, “Oh. It’s you again”, and goes straight back to sleep!

  27. OMG! If I had “boo’d” my cats like that they’d have leapt 5 feet in the air! <3 that Hunter is used to your shenanigans. Feel better soon.

  28. The sound is broken on my computer, but I would like you to know that it was funny even with no sound. Also, that I had a dream last night that we were both at a dance recital, and Hailey was dancing. She was fantastic. Then I had a baby, which was a surprise to everyone. So, good times, good times. Hope you feel better soon!

  29. Hi Jenna,

    You really are the most hilarious person on earth. Thank you for this much needed laughter today. Thanks a million!

    Luna

  30. You are hilarious on cold medication! Be sure to watch this when you are sober! <3 <3 <3

  31. I couldn’t have the sound on since I’m at work, so I soooo can’t wait to go home and listen! You crack me up – even on cold meds!!!

  32. Your shirt is hysterical. LMAO!!! Can’t wait for your book to get here. Thank you, Jenny. You make me laugh and give me strength to fight my Highly Sensitive Personality, ADD, depression and anxiety. Keep creating Girlie.

  33. First of all, it’s every bit as funny as you think – although I had a jumbo sangria margarita and a cocktail called a mother ruiner, so we may be on par. Second of all, I am a big fan of the flashing regardless of my chemical intake- so double win!! Third of all, I agree with candidkay- I need some of whatever Hunter is having because he is way too damn calm in the face off all that funny and I could use some of that right about now in my life! #Jennywinsforever!

  34. It was so wonderful to see your lovely face and hear your voice (groggy though it may sound. Or is it froggy? Hmmmm….). Anyway, the cool shirt was just an added bonus. I noticed one thing– perhaps it should come with a warning label inside, “Warning: You might acccidentally show your boobies when your lift your shirt. Dress accordingly.” Not that there’s anything wrong with that… (unless you were at church or a funeral or something).

  35. Oh man, that is amazing! I totally need one, but I’d only wear it during the winter-there is no way I’d wear two shirts in the summer just to use that shirt as it is intended. Lol

  36. Love this. Planning the many occasions I can explain why my shirt is on inside out. Note to self: don’t forget the shirt underneath…that other kind of flashing will scare people more than they deserve.

  37. gasping for breath That is possibly the best shirt ever. I can picture my friends and I all walking around downtown as a posse of inside-out-but-not-really shirt-wearers, pausing every now and again to simultaneously stamp our feet and lean toward the offending individual, lifting our shirts to scare the bejabbers out of him/her. Then, after a few seconds of evil eyes and frantic smiles, we drop the shirts back down and are once again on our way, to watch and to terrorize. Oh, yes.

  38. I honestly might get this shirt and wear it under my work clothes, then surreptitiously (I can’t believe I spelled that correctly) lift it up to show my favourite coworkers.

  39. Dude, I have totally had that cold for a MONTH. A MONTH! I’m reasonably sure that my blood has a NyQuil level right now. And it’s like, competitive vodka drinking level. As in, maybe I’m actually dead but somehow still typing this.

    Also, we totally need that shirt, especially my friend Rebecca, who got me to start reading your blog. Her normally just-kinda-loopy dog, Kefi, freaked out the other night and killed a raccoon on the back porch. We have no clue why, except maybe it was her Wyrd.

    I guess we need one for Kefi too, huh? RAWR, SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER!

  40. I LOVE how used to you Hunter is!!! If I had done that to one of my cats, they would have freaked out for like 10 minutes and then stared at me accusingly for days. Hunter is all “What?! Yeah it’s you, I’m going back to sleep….”

  41. This shirt would be useful on SO many occasions: as an alternative to punching the people at the DMV… upon reaching the high notes at karaoke… for protection from the dentist… to intimidate predators in the woods… to intimidate predators on the bus… In fact, I’m hard pressed to think of an occasion in which this shirt would NOT come in handy. Can you just make it a scarf so I can wear it with everything all the time?

  42. I love this! And seeing how by the power of the tinterwebs I have caught your zombie flu, I think the least you can do is send me one of these so I can flash a cheesy grin from the top deck of the bus…….

  43. You should get masks made or bandanas so that bank robbers from old movies can tie them around their faces and the bottom part will just scare everyone at the bank immediately because they’ll think they’re getting robbed by a gang of foxen.

  44. Oprah and William Shatner are both coming to New Zealand. It’s important TO THE ENTIRE FREE WORLD (at least NZ, Canada and Oprah) that you give them Furiously Happy t-shirts. Or maybe just give them one really big t-shirt if they agree to wear it together in the spirit of detente.

  45. love the shirt, and the video. not sure what is funnier, you trying to get Hunter’s attention, or his cats-do-it-best-total-lack-of-interest

  46. I have a big scar running down the middle of my stomach, so OF COURSE I NEED THAT SHIRT. Because with the raccoon face staring at them they’re not going to notice the scar.

  47. I haven’t been able to hear the video…. How can you be so beautiful on all those drugs? Hmm. Maybe start selling them off label for beauty regiment?

  48. As a breast-feeding mom… not only do I NEED THIS, but I can see that these might be necessary to end the whole “feeding my baby in public weirds you out??” debate. With AWESOME!

  49. Love the shirt and that Hunter was all “Really? You woke me for that? Seriously?” and then went back to napping.

    It’s been a hard week, so I needed this.Thank you.

  50. I fucking LOVE this shirt!! I must have one. And I will send video of me scaring my cat. Or the dog. Because the dog gets scared like that.

  51. You would not have had a grammar conundrum if you had just replied to Victor, “Nuh-unh!” 🙂

  52. There is way too much awesome in that one minute video. Hunter’s field of fucks to give is barren, but that’s ok, I give alllll the fucks and I am going to need a raccoon face shirt. I’ve emailed it to my husband. It is my birthday, so he has no choice but to buy me one.

  53. LOVE.IT! Is Hunter on cold meds too? I need that shirt for work….probably should get a cami, also, if I intend to wear it on casual Fridays. I mean, if I intend to keep my job an’ all. I hope you are feeling better soon!

  54. I love this! Laughed out loud!

    This is totally unrelated but yesterday at my work we had an “open house” for a new office space and about 70 employees showed up. I hated it but managed to hang out and look normal for about five minutes (long enough to eat my chicken minis and donut) before completely freaking out retreating to the bathroom and texting my friends lol messages that I was trapped in the bathroom. Anyway it made me think of you and the people here and I wanted to share. This blog is what made me able to laugh at it even while it was happening. Haha my brain is retarded sometimes. Thank you Jenny!

  55. You are soo funny! y cant more bloggers be as quirky and funny as you? love it! I hope my blog posts make you all giggle <3 <3

  56. Just got my tank top today! And you know what’s great? It looks a lot like Rocket Raccoon, from Guardians of the Galaxy, my favorite movie, which was released one year ago today!

  57. OK, I didn’t read all 135 replies before I started writing my own (I know — slacker!), but I have an idea for what to put on the outside of the shirt. How about the upside-down rear end of Mr. Rocky Raccoon? Then, you’d have a reversible shirt, or at least a conversation starter. Sort of like the squirrel butts eBay kept trying to sell you.

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