HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

Na na na na na na, YOU SAY IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY.

Na na na na na na, IT’S MY BIRTHDAY TOO!

Na na na na na na, no, really…it’s my birthday.  Is it really your birthday?  Happy birthday!  Even if it isn’t your birthday you should say it is because everyone has at least one shitty birthday and you should get a do-over, so it’s now your birthday too.  EVERYONE WINS.  Especially me because I woke up to messages like this one from my sister:

bloggessbirthday

I got a crazy weird miracle birthday present in the form of three used copies of the exact same book but it’s way too long to explain and when I paused to say “ISN’T THAT INSANE?” you’d be like, “Um…I guess?  Is that the miracle?  ‘Cause it just sounds like you got too many copies of one book, weirdo” but in my head it’s a message from the universe that something good is out there and that’s exactly what I needed.

And I thought maybe it’s a sign that I should give back books so here’s what…the first ten people who leave a comment telling me they really need a copy of Furiously Happy but haven’t been able to afford it yet will get one.  Not a signed copy (because I’m lazy) but I’ll send you a gift card for the book through your email.  Just leave me a comment if you’re in a bad spot and need to read something to remind you that depression lies and that things will be okay.  Because they will be.  I promise.

And in lieu of birthday presents what I’d really like is for you to tell me something you’re happy about.  Something little.  Something big.  Videos of goats screaming.  Anything.

I love you guys.

meandhunter

Bonus birthday photo of me and Hunter S. Thomcat, who was named the king of photobombs last night.  CATOUFLAGE!  (That’ll make sense when you read the book.  Probably.)

UPDATED: Those first 10 copies went quickly, but I just got an email from someone who wants to anonymously gift another 10 copies.  More emails going out tonight.  I love y’all more than cake.

This would be funnier if you were drunk too.

A morning in the life of me:

This morning I went to see Sisters at the movies with my friend Maile.  We were concerned that it might not be funny and we needed it be so we ordered drinks but the movie theater was like, “It’s illegal to sell you booze this early on Sunday morning unless you get food because Texas is weird” but then they admitted that the slice of lime they put on the side of my margarita counts as food, which was awesome because then we were lightly buzzed and also we weren’t going to get scurvy.  I had to pee halfway through the movie but I didn’t want to miss anything so I ran as fast as I could to the restroom, but on the way back I guess I was running too fast (and my feet shrunk because it’s cold here) so as I was running my shoe shot off my foot and flew into the air and when it fell it hit a stranger in the back.    And he was looking up at the ceiling like, “What just fell on me?” and I looked up the air, like I was also concerned that things were falling and said, “Whoa.  What just happened?” as I slipped my shoe back on (which sounds bad but my shoe barely hit him and it was really embarrassing so technically we were both victims) and then I ran back to my seat and told Maile we couldn’t leave because I hit someone with a flying shoe.  And she’s a good friend because she didn’t even blink.  Then this old lady beside us had to go to the bathroom but she lost her balance and almost toppled down the stairs but Maile grabbed her in a concerned man-handling sort of way and kept her from breaking all of her hips, so I think our karma equaled out.  (Saving old ladies > owning a shoe that kicks people in the back.) Like, technically I think we could even kick a few puppies and we’d still be up on the karma points.  Not that we would.  I’m just saying that we could, but we wouldn’t.  Which makes our karma even higher, I think.  Choosing not to kick puppies is a +2 to your karma score every day, y’all.  This is science.

So, long story short, I know this is gonna piss a lot of people off, but Sisters was way funnier than Star Wars.  Sorry, not sorry.

PS.  The booze may not have completely worn off yet.  Sorry.  For real.  Sorry.

PPS.  Also, our husbands and kids met us for lunch afterward and Victor ordered fish.  I think it’s supposed to be fancy but basically they just dropped a whole fish in the fryer which seems like the laziest way to make fish ever.  I usually don’t get why people post pictures of their food and drinks on the internet but I’m making an exception because THEY DIDN’T EVEN REMOVE THE TEETH.  I didn’t even know fish had teeth, so maybe they added them?  I don’t know how fish work.

fishteeth

PPPS.  Sorry again.  For all the stuff above.  The usual.

*******

And now, the weekly wrap-up:

sth

Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

Shit-you-may-or-may-not-want-to-see:

This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Garage Door Nation.  That seems like a weird sponsor but who doesn’t have or need a garage door?  EVERYONE.  Plus, they’re paying for you to read this so let’s give them attention.  They’re the leading supplier of garage door springs and other parts for the do-it-yourselfer looking to save big, including the garage door insulation kit which lets you insulate your garage for lower energy bills all year. They ship nationwide and offers 24/7 online customer service.  Check out their step-by-step free video tutorial here.

Season’s Greetings, you magnificent bastards.

It’s Christmas!  Which is full of awesomeness and glitter and also a lot of conflicting emotions and sometimes depression, which seems even worse than normal because it’s a day when you’re supposed to be happy.  But that’s okay because it’s just a day, y’all, and I’m giving you full permission to be joyful, or nostalgic, or sad, or to avoid people who make you feel like shit, or to be happy in spite of the fact that the holidays are full of weirdness.  I am glad that you are in the world and I’m toasting you right now from my own quiet house.  It’s a time to be thankful for the things that are going right in the universe and to lock yourself in the bathroom with a small flask of schnapps when things get overwhelming.  It’s a time to dance in your living room to songs that make you happy, or watch zombie movies and eat Chinese food all day.  It’s whatever it needs to be for you.

It’s also a good time to remind ourselves of the awesomeness in the world and I’m doing that starting with a quick recap of the 6th Annual James Garfield Miracle.

jamesgarfieldholiday

(That’s James Garfield, above, in his festive finery.)

This year (in just a little over a week) we collectively gave over $85k to help children.  That includes giving presents to kids who might not otherwise get them, donating to Heifer International, and giving over $30k to Project Night Night, who will use our donation to put a bag with a stuffed animal, security blanket and a book into the hands of 1,200 homeless children.  In the six years we’ve been doing this some of the kids who were helped that first year are now old enough to help others, which makes me feel very proud, happy and also more than a little old.  In the last 6 years more than a quarter of a million dollars has been given by this community to help others.  No sponsors.  No middle-men.  No special recognition or fancy graphics or pleas for help.  Just people directly helping people because it made them happy.

What the shit, y’all?  That’s amazing.  My email has been full of awesomeness (which is a wonderful gift to me because I’ve been fighting off a bit of depression myself) but I thought I’d share this one because it’s one of my favorites:

“I cried every night for a week when I realized that an unexpected bill had decimated the plans I’d made to get my kids presents this year.  I told my kids that there wouldn’t be much for Christmas this year but that our Christmas present was that we had a roof over our heads and that we were together.  They were as understanding as kids could be but I was heartbroken and felt like a failure.  I left a comment on your blog hoping that I could get a warm coat for at least one of them and within a day so many people gave help.  Packages started arriving this week and it made me cry again.  Happy tears. When my youngest  asked why I was crying I told her that I’d gotten a Christmas miracle.  There are two new coats under the tree for my little girls, plus three toys and two books that I can’t wait to read to them.  I was able to thank some people but some of the packages didn’t come with any notes saying who the presents were from so I’m sending you this email so you can maybe pass it on and tell whoever saved Christmas for my girls that they gave me a gift so much bigger than they probably know.  Thank you for this grace, in helping me keep them safe and happy and for reminding me that people care.  Next year when I’m back on my feet I can’t wait to pay it forward.  I will never forget this.”

Ditto.

Thank you, everyone, for another year of craziness and kindness.  You are the best kind of people and I’m lucky to have you in my life.

PS. A special Merry Christmas to my parents, sister, grandparents and all my other family members that I won’t see this Christmas.  I love you guys more than cheese.  We’re with you in spirit.

The 987th argument I had with Victor this week.

Me: People say, “You can be anyone you want.” But I’m pretty sure that’s identity theft.

Victor: You’re underestimating yourself. You can be a successful entrepreneur if you applied yourself.

Me: No. I don’t have that ability. I could pretend to be someone who’s an entrepreneur, but that’s really identify-theft too. I already have an identity, and it’s “that-girl-who-says-fuck-a-lot-and-hasn’t-intentionally-killed-anyone-yet.”

Victor: You’re just afraid to try new things. If you focused you could start a restaurant or learn to do your taxes.

Me: And now you’re having an identity crisis. Except it’s over my identity. Sort of selfish, really. Plus, you’re trying to take away my identity of “someone who doesn’t want to do things”. So if anything you’re guilty of identity theft. You’re stealing my identity.

Victor: That’s not how identity theft works.

Me: Well, it’s not how I work either. There’s a lot of confusion going around.

Winner: I don’t know. I don’t even know who I am anymore.

I don’t understand how words work.

I just told Victor that we might need to buy some sandwich stuff before Christmas because no restaurant is going to open and we’re going to starve, and he said we should just try to cook real meal because he assures me that “cooking is as easy as shooting fish in a barrel.”  And I was like, “I am already questioning your logic because who shoots fish? And why would you shoot them if they’re already in a barrel?  Obviously someone has already caught them so the whole shooting thing is just violent overkill and extra work.  And at best you’d end up with a barrel full of fish parts and blood and that would make it even harder to see the rest of the fish, who are all hiding because some maniac is shooting at them. And then you have to remove all the shrapnel from the fish before you eat them, and probably you’d shoot a hole through the barrel because that’s how guns work and then you’d end up with bloody fish water pouring all over the carpet. If you want to convince me something is worthwhile you should say that it’s easier than netting fish which are already in a barrel, or simpler than knocking over a fish barrel so you can pick up the fish.  Or just set the barrel over a fire and make fish soup.  Pretty much anything is easier and more efficient than shooting fish in a barrel.”  And then Victor stared at me and walked off and now I don’t understand how words work AND we’re going to starve to death at Christmas.  Plus, now I’m craving fish.  No one wins here.

*******

And now, the weekly wrap-up:

sth

Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

Shit-you-may-or-may-not-want-to-see:

This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by the people behind Melt: massage for couples. It’s an instructional massage video that teaches you how to be a kick-ass masseuse with a simple, step-by-step video guide. It costs less than one professional massage and you have it forever with unlimited access.  It makes a great holiday gift, like those “Good for one hug” coupon books you made as a kid, but instead you get a massage where everyone wins.  It’s a very good skill to learn when it comes to love, calming angry dogs, and being a bad-ass mofo.  Check it out here.

We’re those people.

We couldn’t get tickets for the new Star Wars movie tonight so instead we’ll be at the theater in the morning, with our daughter who we are taking out of school for the morning because we are bad parents and we consider this to be an educational field trip.  Hailey and Victor will probably be dressed as Leia and Boba Fett, while I’ll be dressed in a Star Fleet uniform because I like to see Victor’s head explode.*

No spoilers here, but I have to share these…

Star Wars:

 

The Empire Strikes Back:


Return of the Jedi:

 

 

*Kidding.  I don’t own a Star Fleet uniform.  But I for real might be dressed as Goose from Top Gun.  Depends on what’s clean.

UPDATED: The Sixth Annual James Garfield Miracle

Did you know it’s December?  Because it is.  And I’m freaking out because where did this year go and what am I doing now that book tour is finally over?  Answer: Feeling a little lost.  Which is the perfect reason to do something awesome and also why we are going to do the 6TH ANNUAL JAMES GARFIELD MIRACLE.

What is the James Garfield Miracle?  It’s a weird thing we’ve done here each year in an effort to get a ferociously jolly taxidermied boar’s head (named James Garfield) recognized as an actual saint.  Every year I say it’ll probably be the last and every year the people who were helped the previous year email me to ask if they can be donors this year to give back what was given to them and then my heart grows eight sizes and doesn’t fit in any of my sweaters and I decide to do it again.  This year is no exception so I’m blaming you for this, wonderful-people-who-remind-me-that-this-has-become-the-truest-way-get-my-cranky-ass-into-the-holiday-spirit.

James Garfield and I love you.

James Garfield and I love you.

So this is how we do it.  If you want to help those who are struggling you can do it in a number of ways, but these are my favorite.  You can donate online to Project Night Night, which is crazy easy.  For $25 they provide a homeless child with a bag containing a blanket, book, and stuffed animal.  It is awesome.  Or you can donate to Heifer, who helps families around the world.  Or you can come here and help anyone in the online community who is having a hard time getting toys for their kids for the holidays.  It’s awesome to get help but honestly it’s even more awesome to help others, so if you need help with a few things for your kids please ask because we have all been there, y’all.  Here’s how it works:

If you need help:  Go to Amazon and create a new wish list.  Name it whatever you want.  Make it “public”.  Go to “view details” and it’ll let you adjust list settings.  This is where you have to add a shipping address for that list or else no one can send you anything.  It’s also where you can add details on the ages, gender and number of kids need a special santa this year.  Find the stuff you want and then add it to your wish list. Here’s my sample list so you can see what it looks like.  Put a link to your wish list in the comments.  No need to use your name or give any personal info but it’s helpful if you just share the ages of the kids.  Make sure you pick stuff that is in stock and it helps if it’s listed as eligible for Prime because shipping is free for a lot of us on Prime stuff.  Good examples of what to put on the list: artscrafts, books, stuffed animals, warm coats, mittens.  Bad stuff to put on the list:  video cameras, live tigers, bags of lice.  I have to approve the comments so if yours doesn’t show up for a bit that’s just because I’m probably busy eating or sleeping.  It’ll show up eventually.  (Also, if you aren’t in America please add that in your comment so that donors in your country can find you.)

If you want to help:  Go to the comment section and click on a wish list.  Buy stuff on the list.  When it asks for the shipping address just choose the person’s name.  It’ll go to that person.  Easy as pie.  (MAKE SURE YOU CHOOSE THE PERSONS ADDRESS OR IT MAY DEFAULT TO YOUR ADDRESS.  If they don’t have an address it means they haven’t added one yet and need to go in and add it.)  I have a few things built-in to make sure people aren’t gaming the system, but honestly people don’t really want to game the system over children’s scarves and hot wheels so it’s not much of a worry.  It is the best present ever because it is literally a kindness to a stranger and for a lot of us it’s like going back in time and buying things for ourselves when we were poor kids or struggling parents.  If you want to leave a comment for the person you bought for telling them what you sent and when it’ll be delivered that’s always lovely but not a requirement.

My mind is still mushy from 3 months of book tour so I’m probably missing something important here.  Oh…hang on…I remembered…

Thank you.

Thank you for sharing with others.  Thank you for allowing others to share with you. (The second one is the hardest so double thanks for that.)  And thank you for all of your support this year.  It’s because of your tremendous support this year (for my blog and book) that’s given me the opportunity to be a donor again this year, so even if you can’t help someone else this year know that if you stopped by the blog, or recommended Furiously Happy, or just left a kind word that helped me through a sometimes tough year you are a part of this small miracle.  By the way, I don’t keep great tabs on this stuff and it’s done entirely without sponsors but in the past 5 years we’ve given over a quarter of a million dollars to help children around the world and that’s pretty damn incredible.

As a special thank you to you I just sent Project Night Night packages for 40 children, and donated a live llama and some bees in your honor.  (The llama and bees are for struggling families through Heifer International, not for homeless kids.  Live bees would be a terrible present for kids.  I’m not sure why I’m having to clarify this.)

Comments will stay open until things slow down, or until we all run out of money.  I’ve got several thousand dollars to give that comes directly from the support that you’ve given me this year so I’ll be helping out as long as the money lasts.  I’ll also be randomly picking people to send signed audiobooks to because I just got a big box of them and I hate the sound of my voice, so if you get an email from me, that’s why.  Forgive the typos.  I’m still not totally recovered from travel.

Love.

UPDATED – DAY 2:  It has been a very long and very amazing two days. I’ve seen hundreds of families so happy to be helped, and hundreds of others even happier to be able to help. I’ve gone to buy special requests and found that they were already bought by others who beat me to it. I’ve seen people hurting, and others reach out to remind them how important they are.

I cried a little from joy and also a little from darkness, and then I took a deep breath and said, “That was good.” And it was.

Comments will still be left open and there will be more people who need help and more who will offer. And it never stops, which is something that I find both wonderfully exhilarating and terribly draining and a little symbolic of everything that makes up the world. Thank you for reminding me of the kindness of people. Thank you for letting me see into the background of these small miracles, because the stories you read here are amazing, but the stories I see behind the scenes are even more moving. I don’t know how much was donated to Project Night Night or Heifer yet but I checked the purchases on the first page of comments (before my head got melty from too much math) and I counted $30,000 in donations from strangers to send small comforts to children around the world. I don’t have the energy to add up all the other pages still filled with people giving out help but I know that a lot of people were given the gift of a happy holiday and a lot of people were given the gift of buying presents for a family they got to adopt. And it was amazing.

And now I’ll slip quietly back into the shadows where I feel much more comfortable. Yay for comfort. Yay for miracles. Yay for the fact that all the Doctor Who Christmas specials are streaming on Hulu this week. We win, you guys. And that’s how we take back a little bit of the light. Thanks for letting me see it.

James Garfield for President, y’all.

UPDATED: DAY 3

Hello. It’s me. It’s the end of day 3 and this is the day when things start to get overwhelming. This is when the excited and relieved comments start to come in from people receiving the small things they asked for. It’s when strange little miracles happen. It’s also when things get confusing and you realize that, just as in life, some get more than others and some slip through the cracks. It’s when I finish up my own final purchases ($7k in tiny increments going to children around the world – which comes directly from your support of me through the year so it is a present from you technically). It’s when I tend to slip away a bit because it’s also when a few people will try to mess with the system, and it only takes one or two to make you disheartened in spite of the thousands of others that are helped. I’ve had a few people contact me with concerns that a person might not be trustworthy or that someone is exaggerating or even pretending to be two people to get more gifts, and that will happen. This is the world, after all, and none of us are perfect. But I remind myself of several things. 1) It would be a terrible thing to be so desperate as to take something that would have gone to a child on Christmas or Hanukkah, and if that person is so desperate then they need our care and pity, and forgiving them and helping them is a true act of holiday spirit and generosity. (And that they’ll probably get stabbed with a fork at some time because karma does that.)  2) That regardless of the honesty of the person asking for help, most of the requests are for children’s toys and children deserve to have presents even when the people who love them go about it in not-entirely honest ways. 3) That people giving are kind, but they are also smart, and mostly the gifts given are toys and children’s books and necessities of life that will help a family in need, because most people helping can tell by the list who legitimately needs a small helping hand to make a child smile.

As always, amazing things happened here and so many people were helped in lovely ways and they helped others with their stories. You all inspired me and I thank you so much for this.

I’m going to step out now and stop doing so many checks on people, so that means there is a giant “BUYER BEWARE” after this if you decide you want to look in the comments and help. It’s slowing down and most people have been helped and I’d probably close comments but I sort of like them open because it’s so nice to see people leave comments of happiness as packages arrive.  If I were you and I just found this post and I was looking to help I’d stick with helping people who want a single small toy or children’s book, but it is totally up to you and I know there are a lot of amazing people who are in need of help and a lot of amazing people who specifically are looking to support people who remind them of people they’ve lost. And that’s lovely and the way it should be. Most people are wonderful and in need of help or in need of someone to help and that’s a very happy coincidence.  Also, Project Night Night is a PERFECT way to help a child in desperate need and I cannot recommend it enough.

I think next year if we do this again maybe we’ll just stick with books? No one can say no to a good book and anyone who’d pretend to be two people to get more books for their kid is automatically forgiven in my mind because BOOKS. Remind me of that next year when December rolls around?

Love, love and more love.

PS. If you want to see what the person asking for help has already been sent you can just add this to the end of their wish list. /ref=cm_wl_rlist_go_v?reveal=purchased

PPS.  Thank you.  For everything.  Going to pass out now.

UPDATED: DAY FOUR

And on the fourth day there was clarity.  And rest.  And possibly tuberculosis.  Long story.  But to make it short, happy comments from people receiving presents are coming in, and I’m getting sweet pictures of adorable smiling children who are already holding wrapped gifts (which I’m not sharing here because privacy is good thing) and it’s made me feel (for lack of a better term) furiously happy.  This is winding to a close but remember that Project Night Night goes all year long helping children.  Thank you for being awesome and thank you for the love you’ve shared with others.  At last count over $60k was given to help children have a good holiday and I’m sure I’m underestimating that because I stopped counting halfway through after math gave me a headache.  And now I’m off to get tested for TB.  Again.  Long story.  I wish you all a merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah and Good Kwanzaa and Jolly Flying Spaghetti Monster Day or whatever else you might celebrate.  High-five, you bad-asses.

 

UPDATED:  DAY…what day is this?

Hey guys. Unfortunately a scammer has found us as of this morning. (I lied about not checking anymore. Sorry. I’m devious that way.). I’m not approving their list so it won’t be seen but now that they know how I found them they could avoid that little trap so right now I’m going to stop publishing any more lists. It’s about time to wrap it up anyway. You can still leave comments and thank yous and all that though. And thank you to everyone!

Also, if you have a fake list you should take down anything on your wish list right now. I don’t want to have to share your information and it’s shockingly easy for me to expose you and I’m sure it would be awfully embarrassing to be identified as someone who would lie for such a terrible reason.  (Fake list = pretending to be more than one person, a list asking for help for made up people.)  There were a few that were iffy before, and some that looked iffy but turned out totally legit, but this was the first that I could definitively prove was a lie so I’m shutting down all further lists as of now.

Sorry to be a downer, guys. Just want to keep this a safe place and I think we’ve mostly done that. Even with the problems that arose this was still worth it for the happy people who were helped.

Also, just as a final housekeeping thing, I’ve gotten a couple of “undeliverable” messages from Amazon because either the shipping address the person gave on their wish list was wrong or the person deleted their info.  I can’t trace who the gifts were supposed to go to because Amazon just says “gifting address hidden for privacy”.  If that happens then any money refunded to me will go to Project Night Night and any gifts forwarded to me (I’m not sure how Amazon handles that yet) will be given to Toys for Tots so that no matter what someone is helped.

Also, I’m getting some messages that are saying “Couldn’t leave your package as there was no safe place to leave it and will try again tomorrow” which is good in a way because I know last year several people never got their gifts because they had their packages stolen off porches but also not good because you may not know that your mail person is having problems delivering your package.  In the past people have left notes to the mailman on the door telling him/her to leave packages in a more hidden location (behind bushes, etc) so that’s an option.  Just wanted to let you all know because inevitably a few things don’t arrive, get lost, etc., and that’s just going to happen, but the more we can head off those issues the better.  :)

UPDATED: DAY…where even am I?

I wasn’t going to update again but I need to because of the email this morning I got from the lovely people at Project Night Night:

“Hugs. Hugs. Hugs. Wanted to give you an update that we have received just over $20,500 since Monday which puts Night Night packages into the arms of 823 children. This is incredible and we are so grateful.”

Me too.  I love y’all.

They also won’t sell you a giant tub of pickles even though they totally have them.

When I was on book tour I had my first In-N-Out Burger.  The burger tasted like a burger and the fries tasted like the ghost of french fries, so I’m not sure why people love it so much, but the real story here is that I’d always heard that there was a “secret menu” you can order from if you’re in the know, but I don’t actually know anything so I just randomly guess-ordered stuff.  Things I asked for them to give me that apparently aren’t on the secret menu:

  • cobbler
  • stew
  • breast milk
  • a wheelbarrow full of human hair
  • Snakes.  Lots and lots of snakes.
  • Wine
  • Everything in the cash register
  • A cashier with infinite patience  (I didn’t ask for that one out loud but it was obvious that wasn’t in the cards.)

I’m not allowed to go back there, I think.

*******

And now, after a 3 month absence while I was on book tour, the weekly wrap-up is back!  (Graphic by @chickenpants)

chickenpants

Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

Shit-you-may-or-may-not-want-to-see:

This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Melt: massage for couples. It’s basically an instructional massage video that teaches how to give bad-ass massages with a simple, step-by-step video guide. It costs less than one professional massage and you have it forever with unlimited access.  It makes a great holiday gift so you can learn how to sqwoosh people seductively.  It’s a very good skill to learn when it comes to love, calming angry dogs, and being a bad-ass mofo.  Check it out here.

I’m licking all of your faces right now. But not actually, because I understand personal boundaries and virus prevention.

There’s a real post coming but I just wanted to share that we’re in the Wall Street Journal today.  It’s a little bit about me but it’s mainly about you and that makes sense because you guys are who made all of this possible.  Also, we’re currently hanging out with Benedict Cumberbatch.  Just on the page, but still.  Pretty sure that counts.

wsjfuriouslyhappy

If you can’t read this because you don’t have super-human eyes you can click to read it here and see the other pictures.  Also, yes…that is a picture of me running terrified from everyone while clutching my “CAT LADY FOR LIFE” book bag.  But happily.  Which sums up my whole life, really.

You are amazing and I love you more than tacos.  And I love tacos.  Like, a lot.  And I love that the world is discovering how fantastic you are.  I hope you are discovering that as well.  You are magic.

 

I’m alive. You are too. And for that I am thankful.

Right now I am on my way home from the last leg of the Furiously Happy book tour, which was filled with giggling adventures, new and old friends, tears and stories whispered in signing lines, terror and anxiety and adrenaline, and a particularly virulent case of food poisoning that left me stranded in Arizona for an extra day. Right now I am weak and tired and relieved and in an airplane beginning its descent home. And I find myself crying, startling the uncomfortable businessman beside me who doesn’t know what to do with this too-pale frizzle haired girl who looks the very picture of a nervous wreck. I explain to him that these are happy tears. Because they are. Not just because the call of home is so near but also because I will miss you. That’s odd to say because I hate traveling, and speaking is scary but I will miss seeing big groups of you, so many of you looking at me with the same scared look reflecting mine -reminding me that I am with people who understand me and will nod if I hide under a table. I will miss your stories and the cool hands on mine as you assure me my panic wasn’t too obvious. I will miss your smiles and stories of people you met in line who are now new friends. I will miss the emails from those who couldn’t make it but still wanted to share their stories, and the handwritten notes given by shaking hands of friends who were too afraid to speak but still managed to proudly make it through the line. I will miss you. But I know that you will still be here, helping me write my next book as you helped me through the last two. I know that even if I don’t see you in person that you are real and important and are in my strange camp of wonderful misfits. I know that I am not alone. I hope you know that too.

As I write this the taxi is nearing my house and all I want to do is melt into my family and couch and furry babies but before that I want to say thank you. Thank you for being my family, both on the road and off. And in a day or so I’ll be back with something lovely for us to do, but until then I wish for you all the love I felt from our amazing, talented, bizarre and far-flung community and I hope you understand how much you mean to me, to our strange tribe, to the world.

Thank you.

Ps. Ignore the typos. This is what happens when you write on your phone after almost no solid food for 30 hours. Also, this is where I’d put pictures but I’m too exhausted so instead I’m linking to Instagram so you can relive the last 3 months of touring with me if you like.

Thank you.