So. I’ve been a bit MIA because after my emergency room crisis I was a limp rag and unable to do much more than just breathe this week. Even sitting up to draw was too taxing (WTF, BODY?) so I spent the last few days reading, sleeping and crying to Victor about how sad my life is in spite of the fact that he’s working his ass off while I’m complaining about my “napping struggles” and I’m like, “But I’m too tired to even watch TV. PITY ME.” And then I did literally cry and he did literally pity me because I’m not the crying type and so he realized it was serious. But today I feel a bit better and I have more doctor’s appointments this week and next week, and I was able to stop taking the pain pills yesterday and maybe it’ll all just fade away like the pneumonia did? I mean, with my luck it’ll just fade into something else, like radiation poisoning or unexpected leglessness, but still…a change is as good as a rest. Probably.
Today though Victor insisted that I leave the house and we went to Luby’s Cafeteria and we were the only people under 70 there, except for the guy behind us who was about 40 and was a tough-looking biker who was very distracting because he kept taking obvious pictures of his food and I told Victor that he was probably a famous instagram star and he couldn’t find the right filter for his carrot-n-raisin salad,but Victor thought that he was taking a picture of his food to add it to his weight-watchers journal and I shook my head and we continued to argue about why the biker was taking pictures of his food, including:
- Texting pictures of his fresh fruit to taunt his estranged brother who lives in a submarine and maybe has scurvy.
- Beets remind him of a simpler time and he wanted to remember the moment so he could commemorate it with a short story or haiku later.
- He saw Jesus in his mashed potatoes.
- He secretly wants to open an off-brand Hooter’s combined with a Luby’s and name it “Boobie’s” and so every day he comes and takes pictures of his food so that he can recreate it, stealing the menu one photo at a time.
Then I laughed and things felt brighter. And now I’m actually blogging. Sort of. Mostly just to say why I’m not blogging, but I think it still counts. Long story short, I’m less dead today than I was yesterday and I would totally eat at “Boobie’s”.
Also, books have been my life raft lately and there are a bunch of brand new ones out this week you should be reading. Priestdaddy: A Memoir (achingly amazing prose), Confessions of a Domestic Failure, One Day We’ll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter and We Are Never Meeting in Real Life. The last one doesn’t come out for a few weeks but you should preorder it because it is painfully funny. And since I’m still spending most of my days under blankets with a book, please share any new reading suggestions you have in the comments.
PS. Last week I challenged my friend (and fellow collector of creepy dolls) Bonnie to see who could rework this doll into the creepiest thing possible. Mine arrived and I’ve been too tired to start deconstructing her yet, but she’s already slightly creepy to begin with and I haven’t even added the spider legs. (SPOILERS.)