Totally sincere conversation between me and my husband

Victor:  “I don’t know why you don’t wear things that show off your boobs more.” 

Me:  “My what?”


“Like that little brown dress.  Your boobs look great in that.” 


“You know what would be really refreshing?  If you occasionally directed your attention to me rather than my boobs.” 


“But baby, you are a part of these boobs.” 


“Um…no.  These boobs are a part of me.” 


“Isn’t that what I said?” 


“You know, it’s things like ‘You’re a nice bonus to those big jugs I married’ that really do wonders for my self-esteem.” 


“You’re in charge of your own self-esteem.  I can’t do anything to hurt it.” 


“Are you high?  Of course you can.” 


“Well…I guess that’s just your stupid perception.” 


“I’m blogging all of this.”


Updated to add:

As requested by a pervert faithful reader who commented “This blog post just cries for a photo”, here you go:



59 thoughts on “Totally sincere conversation between me and my husband

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Did Victor really say ‘You’re a nice bonus to those big jugs I married’?

    I just want to know who to give credit to for my tee-shirt.

  2. Shove his moobs (yes, moobs – not a typo, people) into a too-tight push-up bra and see how he likes it. Wait, he might like that. Abort mission!!

    Or take photos for blackmail.

  3. The brown dress you wore to Blogher? Cuz he’s right, you know. ha. don’t kill me.

    My kingdom to have my guy notice me for my boobs. Can’t a girl get oggled in her own damn house anymore? jesus. (tho maybe it would be helpful if I had a rack).

  4. So nice to come across a guy who is not only sensitive but honest, reminds me a bit of me. Way to go Victor!

    Oh btw, you may not be getting any for a while.

  5. Since he must also be in charge of his self-esteem, I guess it wouldn’t hurt his feelings at all if you were to, say, divorce him from his equipment? Or better yet, cast aspersions upon it? Sheesh. Still, it’s nice to know you’ve got it going on, though, isn’t it?

  6. Men.

    Paint his toenails while he’s asleep and then track how many weeks it takes him to notice… you know, since his eyes don’t reach that far…

    – a nice, bright, girly color 😉

  7. Clearly even in the comments the battle lines are drawn straight across gender lines. Except perhaps for Karmyn who I think is telling me that she finds my boobs distracting as well.
    (Right back atcha, Big K.)

  8. I so didn’t notice your boobs when we were all at lunch at Molina’s. FOr our next get together, I fear I will be staring your your boobs.

    I apologize in advance.

  9. What is it with men and boobs?!?! I can’t walk by the hubby without being groped. It’s like his hands are possessed.

    Tell Victor his winkie is small and then ask him if you hurt his self esteem. He might get it then.

  10. My husband once said, “I love you. You have a great rack.”

    And even though technically they were two different setences, he still got smacked.

    Jenny, all I can say is that I hope you feel better soon and that you can be up and around. Hugs.

  11. Have I ever told you how much I like boobs Jenny. Wait a minute… I’ve never even said hello to you before. HI Jenny. 😉

  12. You know, us men CAN be that retarded 🙂 and not really think about what we’re saying when we say it. But think about it, men are always a 6-pack away from just grunting and using two word sentences like “remote now!” and “throw that!” or “nice ass” or “beer me!”

    But I’m a guy…I’m probably giving out too much 🙂

  13. You know how sometimes words just can’t fully express a concept? This blog post just cries for a photo.

  14. gotta like boobs a alot. as for me, i wish i felt MORE like my little general was a part of me. as it is I don’t think we can share consciousness at the same time. I’m sound asleep and he is raring to go. wake up and he goes to sleep. go figure.

  15. @Willowtree, Malin – the Blogess has admitted she is afflicted with mono AND parvo – which means that *not getting some for awhile* might not be such a bad idea for Victor after all.

    @Jenny – you need to get him some of them thar “Funbags” you done did wrote about, and give them to him wrapped up in that brown dress 😉


  16. Jenny – you might also remind him of his prophetic words:

    “That poo-poo is so not going to have a nice day.”


  17. Victor has some trouble keeping his thoughts from spilling out before he’s formed them properly, methinks.

    (is he adhd too? because I have the same problem. also, your boobs are awesome.)

    *rests case*

  18. OK, the quote,

    ‘You’re a nice bonus to those big jugs I married’ is priceless.

    I agree, T-Shirts would be awesome (tight ones, made of white cotton… but I digress).

    Look on the bright side. Obviously you have quite a bit to offer besides your amazing pectoral superstructure, otherwise the quote would have been more like,

    ‘Those big jugs of yours sure offset that noise which come from above them’

    Now THAT would get him killed!

  19. Hey Jenny, you are right, my thumbs don’t have Parvo. But I am sick now. You didn’t by chance breath when you stopped by, did you?

  20. That’s when you reply, “why don’t you wear things that show off your penis more?”

    On second thought, nevermind.

    My husband always says that if he had my boobs, he would feel himself up everyday!


  21. Hey, Jenny, I know what’ll put Victor in his place–

    post a NAKED picture of your boobs! Just slap those big boys up there, digitize ’em, and let the whole world take a look.

    Y e a h…that’ll put him in his place!

    (I promise not to look…).

  22. My boyfriend lovingly refers to me as “big tits” and loves to comment when they look especially big on any given day. Ahhh… romance hasn’t died!!

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