I’m a shitty friend


I constantly whine about being sick, I curse too much, I take too long to get back to people on emails and I don’t visit your blog nearly as much as I want to…and you still come and say “Hi”, and “You’re weird”, and “Hey stud, take this pill for a 4 inch additional growth that will satisfy her all night long”.

And that’s pretty much the definition of true friendship, or of total disfunction on my part.  Or both.  I’m too tired/drunk to really tell. 

Anyway, I appreciate it even if I don’t say it nearly enough.  And yes, I’d be happy to take that pill because who doesn’t want to be taller?   

PS.  Is this the best card ever?   Almost definitely.

34 thoughts on “I’m a shitty friend

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I love all of those cards, even if most of them disturbed me greatly. That’s why I sent all of my friends and family one!

  2. Oh yeah, already sending out ecards…I’m not ashamed to admit some of them hit really close to home. I’m not going anywhere…you always find the coolest stuff!!!

  3. Best eCard site ever!
    You know what I love most about you,
    it’s your twisty-view on everything.
    i’m not alone.
    i’m not alone.

  4. I, for one, am very pissed that you are sick and taking time to take care of yourself. Read my blog, dammit. My blog cures parvo. Or possibly causes parvo considering both you and Alyndabear had/have it. So never mind. Don’t read my blog.

  5. Little does Jenny realize, we’d need to join some sort of group threrapy if she decided to quit writing online. . . .

  6. Gee thanks Jenny – I about choked on my gum after opening that card and laughing so hard. Would that be considered truly an accident @ work thus increasing my life insurance???

  7. Yeah, I’m just sticking around in hopes of that elusive booze-soaked playdate. LOL.

    Totally kidding.

    Sort of.

  8. Shoot, I clicked comments before I clicked the cards…now I’m REAL curious…

    Hey, that’s what readers are for…they let us know when you FINALLY posted somethin’ new ;).

  9. You’re not a shitty friend, you are just going through a rough patch. We’d be the shitty ones for not understanding.

  10. Best. Card. Ever.

    Everyone comments more at times and less at others. Sides, you do have like 17 illnesses. We’re just happy you can’t breath on us. 🙂

    I really hope you’re getting better.

  11. I’ve got about a hundred friends and relatives who’ll agree that I’m the shittiest, most negligent friend out there. Well, they would if they were still speaking to me.

  12. Jenny – I really hope you get to feeling better pretty soon!

    In the meantime, don’t sweat it. Your adoring fans will still be here, waiting for you.


  13. There are so many perfectly crafted sentences in that little post. “Who doesn’t want to be taller?” Clearly, you need to stay drunk because it’s producing some top notch writing. And I’m absolutely not being sarcastic. (Tipping back my Schlitz).

  14. My dear, I’ve been such a slacker. I’ve been reading this week, but not commenting until now. Happy, happy birthday to Hailey. She’s so gorgeous, and I can’t wait until we can get her and Q together.

  15. Why do we keep coming back? Because you are real, honest and funny. We love you, good, bad and parvo.

  16. I get wonderful Emails too. Like the one that says: This is to inform you that you have been selected for a cash prize of
    £1,350,000(One million, three hundred and fifty thousand, pounds sterling) held on the Saturday 22nd Sep 2007 .

    so… you can give your pills to whats his face and we can go on an ultimate world cruise.

  17. Wouldn’t dream of it, sweetie!

    Love those cards! Thanks again for a great find. They remind me of this company that made the best cards ever, similar to these. My favorite one had a sketch of two dapper gentlemen walking, circa 1900. One of the guys was lifting his cane, pointing to a spot off the page. Inside it read, “Oh look! One of the peasants is having a birthday.”

    I bought the entire stash and sent them out to all my favorite peasants on their birthdays that year! I am going to have a ball with these too!

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