So according to my blog keyword search, a crazy amount of people are insanely paranoid about ninjas and are crap spellers. I mean, I’m obviously not one to cast stones after my recent, tiny ninja punctuation crisis but this shit is ridiculous. I mean, no judgment and I totally can’t tell which of you got here by butchering ninja phrases but really? In the last month 70 different people found this blog while looking for what I can only imagine is some sort of proof that there are, in fact…
Their psychotic leavings in order of popularity:
I know you’re thinking that it couldn’t get worse but you would be wrong:
And I’m not even going to bring up the searches for “ningas” which are apparently “everywear”. Of which there are more than two. Searches, that is. Not “ningas”.
In conclusion, I have to say that you people are. freaking. paranoid. Ninjas are not everywhere and even if they were, you wouldn’t see them anyway. Because their fucking ninjas. I mean, there’re ninjas. Fuck. Now I’m doing it.
PS. Just because a ninja won’t sleep with you that doesn’t make her a whore, Todd.
PPS. I know what you’re thinking. You’re all “Wait a minute! If she can’t see who is using those searches then how did she know that was Todd gettin’ all pissy about the ninja whores?!”
And the answer is that you were actually right to be paranoid. Ninjas are everywhere.
Nah, I’m just kidding. Everyone knows Todd’s a freak about propositioning ninjas all the time. It’s embarrassing. Also Todd, those aren’t ninjas. They’re pandas and they just aren’t that into you. This is why you keep getting banned from zoos.
PS. I wrote this whole post on xanax. You can’t even tell, right?
Comment of the day: Re: “Ninja whores” Is that the whore of a ninja or just a really fast, sneaky whore? Like they jump out in the middle of the night, fuck you, take your money, and you’re all like. Huh? What just happened? ~ctina1973