A rant without ninjas

I know I promised you a kick-ass ninja story but I just have to quickly respond to the 23rd person to threaten to unsubscribe to Mama Drama if I don’t hurry up and write a post there.  I don’t write there anymore.  I write at Good Mom/Bad Mom.  And you should read it because it’s awesome and yesterday I accidentally published a curse word there and it totally slid past the censors so right now you can read “shit” on the Houston Chronicle until they read this and fire me from a blog that I don’t actually get paid for anyway.  Wait…is that “firing”?  It’s probably more like “banning”.  Anyway, today’s post is all about how I single-handedly destroyed a commune, got sewer water on me in front of an internet celebrity, and made my kid sell alcohol to strangers.  For real.  You should go read it before I get fired banned.

Ninja story is a-comin’, swear to God.

PS.  Conversation I just had with my coworker…

Me:  If I’m writing about plural ninjas should I use an apostrophe?

Coworker:  No. 

Me:  Are you sure?

Coworker (patronizingly):  *sigh*  Do the ninjas own something?

Me:  No, they’re just there.  You know, being ninjas.  Why?  Is it different if it’s possessive?

Coworker:  Yes.  How do you not know this?

Me:  Ninja punctuation is hard!

Comment of the day (which is either really insulting or just taken completely out of context): Um, I didn’t find SHIT over there. Just CRAP.  ~Faith

64 thoughts on “A rant without ninjas

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Amy I love you, below is why. I just posted something about this somewhere else. It has nothing to do w/ ninjas.

    I love it when people post FIRST!!!! and then are like 4th or 18th (soooo awesome…like when I was a cheerleader and I’d start a cheer like “Get that ball” and someone would be all “uh Greta…we already have the ball”…which is REALLY weird ‘cuz I was a wrestling cheerleader).

    Also…would it be ninji?

    Greta’s last blog post..Are you there God it’s Me Greta? A/K/A Google Blows

  2. My all-time favorite grammer/spelling mistake: different’s. As instead of difference. Yes, the person who made this mistake was prolly the dumbest person in California … and that’s pretty effing dumb.

    You are only half as dumb for lack of ninja punctuation skills.

    Maternal Mirth’s last blog post..Maternal Crushes: M&M <3’s …

  3. the reason you, and frankly, not many other people know about ninja punctuation is because ninjas/ninjii/ninjaes are super secret stealth people. there is no book about how to be a ninja, or how to write like a ninja. duh.

    if you tell me there is, i’ll kick your ass.

    Maggie’s last blog post..I’m Listing

  4. …so right now you can read “shit” on the Houston Chronicle…

    There are those who would tell you that pretty much all you read on the Chronicle is shit.

    I think they are just party-poopers.


    Ed T.’s last blog post..Mountains in haze

  5. I would like to see “shit” pop up in one or more of those snooty Sunday wedding announcements, myself.

    What is a group of ninjas called? A herd? A swarm, perhaps? Idle minds want to know!


    My all-time favorite grammar/spelling mistake: different’s.

    Jesus wept.

  6. Interesting that they won’t allow a curse word, but then they have these insanely racist, offensive comments from readers. Who are those readers any way?? Definitely not the same readers of Mama Drama and Good Mom/Bad Mom. 😉

    Shoegirl’s last blog post..The Joys of Motherhood & Lapband Update

  7. Good Mom/Bad Mom IS awesome. And now I can say it’s the shit, man.

    Or whatever people with more street cred than me say.

    The whole reason ninja punctuation is hard is they stopped teaching it in our public schools. You should start a campaign to bring it back, along with cursive.

    Jennifer H’s last blog post..First steps

  8. I am laughing at Ed. T- I’ve never read the Chronicle but might be persuaded to, at least once. I did catch the ‘shit’ over there but it totally fit. What’s the bruhaha?

    Headless Mom’s last blog post..I’m It

  9. Whenever you have a question about ninja punctuation, just remember the immortal words of Always maxi pads: Have a Happy Period.

  10. did you know that ninjas actually invented the asterisk? don’t believe me?

    look…. *

    if that isn’t the spitting image of a shuriken (throwing star), my name isn’t Mary Lou Retton…

    oh wait…


    furiousball’s last blog post..my sasquatch joint

  11. The reason ninja punctuation is so hard is because those ninjas like to have the extra apostrophe around so they can whip it at people like one of those throwing star things. And let me tell you, apostrophes hurt when they get stuck in your eye.

    Victoria’s last blog post..F is for Food

  12. LMAO!
    Did you see John Goodman’s bit from the new Speed Racer flick on LIVE! this morning? He makes a crack about “none-jas”, because, you know… the ninjas, well, they kind of sucked.

    You cursed on the Chron site? really? can I hug you! You’re greatest accomplishment! Now you can scratch that off the bucket list…

    Shades’s last blog post..Same Old, same old…

  13. Dude’s, tho’s ninja’s? They are super fierce an’ all. They like fight shit and bad guy’s. My mom say’s I can totally be one for Halloween’s this’ year’s. P.S. Who’s the only one here who know’s the illegal ninja move’s from the government?
    That’s right. Me’s

    FabGirl’s last blog post..OH, HAI!

  14. What’s the bruhaha?

    They don’t want the howling mob to lynch the Reader Rep “Community standards.”

    OhMyGod how ironic is that!? hahahahahahaha…


    Ed T.’s last blog post..Layers

  15. What? No ninjas in this post? Where’s that unsubscribe button again? ;P Thanks to that sensible co-worker you have there teaching you about possessives, otherwise I might’ve been forced make a citizen’s arrest to the grammar police. 😉
    I saw some tv promo recently that teased about ‘mama drama’…no, not the blog, but my mind went there, too. 😀

    The Pear Lady’s last blog post..Booking through Thursday – Mayday!

  16. *sigh* No ninjas…

    Ninja don’t follow your stinking punctuation rules. Ninja just are.

    But don’t call them ‘ninji’ cause then they go all medieval on your arse and medieval ninja are NASTY!

    And I was just talking to the ninja and they hate people that do that ‘first comment W00t!’ thing. Expect a visit Miss Amy… we know where you are.

    Kelley’s last blog post..Take me drinking with you. I mean, to BlogHer.

  17. Oh and the ninja tell me to thankyou for pimping my post on Good Mom/ Bad Mom. But they request you pimp my latest cause on THIS blog.

    They have some Ninja moves that they want to practice on your stupid chicken winged unicorn if you don’t. And unicorns in pain are worse than a man with a cold who has lost the remote.

    Just warning you.

    Kelley’s last blog post..Take me drinking with you. I mean, to BlogHer.

  18. You should have told your co-worker, “Yes, yes, they do own something…your ass!” Muaaaahhhhhhaaahhhhaaa! Oh wait ninja(‘s) don’t say much do they? So no evil laugh then.

    Mrs. Schmitty’s last blog post..Bear With Me

  19. Who cares about ninjas? I was going into withdrawal, with the lack of talk about vaginas, until thankfully, pookie addams saved me. Do you people realize how bad vagina withdrawal happens to be? Uhh, nevermind, forget that last line.

  20. Ninja punctuation maybe hard, but ninja conjugation is even harder. The key is knowing when a ninja is being used as a verb and not a noun. The same is true for the word ‘shit’ and if your editors at the Chronicle know the difference, it will totally determine whether or not they ban you. Or burn–I mean fire you. Either way the scarring will be significant…both the physical kind as well as mental.

    AB’s last blog post..Wherein our hero(ine) wonders what she did before kids

  21. Incorrect apostrophe use makes me want to pull off my fingernails and throw them at people. However, in your case, it’s charming.

    The Introvert’s last blog post..dogs

  22. I got fired from being a volunteer once. At an animal shelter. And I’m currently a vet student.

    I guess I get a big fat FAIL.

    I also think it was more of a ‘banning’, since they still get all spooked whenever I show up there and I’m pretty sure I’ve heard whispers about calling cops.

    Which really might have just been about the ninjas. Cause it sounded totally paranoid.

    Saskia’s last blog post..Shoe Size/Penis Size Theory. Denied.

  23. The apostrophy is there. You just can’t see it because it belong to a fucking ninja!!! If you can’t see him how could you tell whether he owns an apostropy or not? Just sayin…

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