Why, Google?

Taking a short intermission from stories of almost getting murdered in Japan to demand that you go right now to Google and type in “Why”.  Then look at the auto-suggestions.

I’ll wait.

Why are you still here?  Okay, fine. I’ll do it for you.

why google

Awesome.

Bonus:  What comes up when you type in “Why won’t”:

Technically I've wondered about that second one too.

Technically I've wondered about that second one too.

And that’s why the internet was invented, y’all.

(Hat-tip to Relo who saw this phenomenon and instantly thought of me.  Thanks?)

Comment of the day: “Why won’t my parakeet eat my diarrhea?”

Um.  Hello?

They can’t hold a spoon.

Stupid fuck. Like you needed to Google that. ~ moooooog35

155 replies. read them below or add one

  1. That is effing awesome.
    .-= Jewels´s last blog ..Life’s a Piknik =-.

    Like

  2. what where you asking ‘why’ to google anyway?
    .-= pamela´s last blog ..To My Very Special Grandma =-.

    Like

  3. Do people really ask these questions enough for Google to suggest them? Wow. The “dead Pakistani” one is especially crazy.
    .-= Amy.´s last blog ..so silent. =-.

    Like

  4. *puts hand up* I googled 1 and 6 of the first one.

    Like

  5. Wow. lol. Just wow.
    .-= Heather´s last blog ..Home =-.

    Like

  6. The #8 suggestion when you type “what?” is pretty stellar too.
    .-= Kerri Anne´s last blog ..A House On Decatur Avenue =-.

    Like

  7. Clearly she wants to know why Brooks and Dunn is breaking up. I suggest that only because I’ve never read mention of a parakeet.

    Like

  8. Ok, while I agree that that is absolutely hilarious…

    Am I the only one who sees a tiny little guy staring up at a giant penis? Two suitcase balls, penis legs?

    Anyone?
    No?
    Just me?
    Okay, then. Me, either.
    .-= TJ´s last blog ..WINCEABLE! =-.

    Like

  9. Why IS there a dead Pakistani on my couch? He’s been there for weeks. Oh good, there’s a Google search for that.
    .-= Ryan´s last blog ..Illinois gubernational candidates, please stop with negative campaign ads. =-.

    Like

  10. Like your tweets about Canadian vs American acceptance of hollering, our google.ca results are different.

    Like

  11. *sad face* Google doesn’t have any auto-suggestions for me. Why, Google, why???
    .-= Miss B´s last blog ..Storms & Silence =-.

    Like

  12. Why would google fix this?? These are important questions! If anything google should deliver the answers to these questions straight to our mailboxes.

    Like

  13. I showed this to my sixteen year old daughter and now she’s tweeting it. Thanks Jenny for bringing us closer together!

    Like

  14. My parakeet accidentally broke his neck. I assumed he was turning a flip on his cage when something went awry. Maybe he was trying to get to the bathroom.

    Like

  15. That’s Brilliant. I think Brooks and Dunn broke up because Brook’s parakeet was eating diarrhea and Dunn’s wouldn’t. But does Google know that? DOES GOOGLE KNOW?
    .-= Bridget´s last blog ..Guest Post from God =-.

    Like

  16. Kool, and even that is context sensitive.
    Typing “why” on google.co.uk produces different results than on google.co.in

    🙂
    @_JSH_

    Like

  17. Brilliant. I typed in ‘why does’ and that’s pretty f-ing funny too!
    .-= Tita B´s last blog ..That Blur Is Just Me, Kicking Your Ass =-.

    Like

  18. Ha…I typed in “what are” and got this:

    what are these strawberries doing on my nipples i need them for the fruit salad

    And now I’ve been inspired to write a poem. Thank for the tip!
    .-= Mama Kat´s last blog ..Your Assignment, Should You Choose To Accept =-.

    Like

  19. TJ ~ I totally saw that too but was too embarrassed to mention it. True story.

    Like

  20. I just checked…. in case you were lying.

    It’s TRUE.

    It makes my heart happy that you can alert me to such things.
    .-= Michelle´s last blog ..It’s like I’m Marie Antoinette or something =-.

    Like

  21. hmm – all i got is “Why do women have sex?” so i tried it again…. and i got your results “why is the sky blue”, and “why do men have nipples”, and “why did the chicken cross the road”… but no parakeets and diarrhoea – how disappointing!
    .-= Sheila (@stinginthetail)´s last blog ..Happy Birthday to Me =-.

    Like

  22. That is awesome!!!! Made my night!
    .-= Amanda (Garibay Soup)´s last blog ..Tonight My Heart is Heavy =-.

    Like

  23. “Possessing less shame than The Bloggess” is my next potential site tagline, then.
    .-= TJ´s last blog ..WINCEABLE! =-.

    Like

  24. This is why I love you.

    That and the fact you think Canadians don’t like to holler.
    .-= Redneck Mommy´s last blog ..Dreaming Big Dreams =-.

    Like

  25. OK, but seriously, what is the deal with that parakeet?
    .-= Memphis Steve´s last blog ..Today is Veteran’s Day =-.

    Like

  26. Ooo! On Canadian Google I got “Why did Michael Jackson turn white?”

    …i really don’t think it’s too soon to make those jokes.
    .-= LiveForMemories´s last blog ..liveformemories: @TheBloggess – shame you’ve never been to Canada, it’s wonderful. Don’t worry about the moose, they’ll just scare you right back 😉 =-.

    Like

  27. Used to go to Google a lot for meetings. Some well-fed PHD in a primary-colored workstation is having a good laugh right now. Fabulous find!
    .-= Kathy @ HomeWorkshop´s last blog ..CEO Bachelor Pad =-.

    Like

  28. roflmao… ok, I admit it. I had to go do this just to see what comes up for the dead pakistani, cuz for some reason that I couldn’t fathom, it sounded familiar to me o.O

    I shoulda known it was a “Lost” reference. Thanks for the giggle 🙂
    .-= GingerWench´s last blog ..WordPress plugin updates bring CommentLuv to IntenseDebate =-.

    Like

  29. Yeah. Hmmm…I don’t think I want a parakeet. Ever.
    .-= Brooke´s last blog ..A Conversation the Day AFTER My Birthday =-.

    Like

  30. Either people are retarded or Google is because everyone knows parakeets don’t eat diarrhea. They drink it. Duh.
    .-= Stephanie Smirnov´s last blog ..No More Kissing at Work =-.

    Like

  31. I knew there was a reason I stayed up this late fucking around on the interwebs.
    .-= Aimee Greeblemonkey´s last blog ..My 2010 Nature Calendars Are Here! =-.

    Like

  32. hahaha amazing.

    Thank you so much for making me laugh tonight, I needed it!
    .-= Kirsten´s last blog ..How to Show Your Friends You Care.. Kind of. =-.

    Like

  33. Completely fascinated by the nippled strawberries. Wouldn’t raspberries be easier to latch on?

    Like

  34. I know someone who wrote an article on why is my poop green. She got a ton of hits for it!

    Maybe she should do a follow up about the parakeet or the Pakistani.

    Like

  35. Type in “why are” The third suggestion is “Why are all the black kids sitting together in the cafeteria”

    Typing in “I am” gets you “extremely terrified of Chinese people”

    And finally, typing in “God is” gets you “God is an astronaut”

    I love our species.
    .-= meghann´s last blog ..Homeschooling: The Ride =-.

    Like

  36. That boggles my mind. Ouch, I say.
    .-= Maura´s last blog ..Stick to Whistling While You Work =-.

    Like

  37. I used to be surprised by the things people type into search engines until I started tracking visits to my blog. Now NOTHING surprises me. Although the scarier thing is that these weird ass searches lead the people straight to me. That probably means something but lets just move on.

    I get everything from ‘vagina ooze’, ‘masturbation’, ‘why does God hate masturbation’, ‘does God get upset when you masturbate’, ‘slug penis’, ‘necrophilia’, ‘jesus hates your wallpaper’, ‘pimel liken’ and ‘piemol liken’. I don’t know what the last two even mean! The list just goes on and on. Those are just the ones that popped in my head.
    .-= LB @Wait, She Said What?´s last blog ..Why yes, I would like a free in-home estimate and you’re a total douche. =-.

    Like

  38. Oh, that’s fantastic.
    .-= Just Shireen´s last blog ..In Which The Plot Deigns To Show Up =-.

    Like

  39. try “why do girls” – my fave is “why do girls like guys who wear shirts with eight buttons”. “why do girls get tramp stamps” is a close second.

    Like

  40. Wow…fascinating stuff. I have never owned a parakeet, I guess I am missing out on some shit.
    .-= Janis @ SneakPeek´s last blog ..Wordless – What’s For Dinner? =-.

    Like

  41. If you type in ‘how’, you get ‘how to get pregnant’. Then if you type in ‘when’, you get ‘when to take a pregnancy test’.

    So basically Google thinks we’re all pregnant whores. Awesome.

    If you type in ‘screw’, you get ‘screwed the pooch’. SCARY.

    Best of all though:

    Type in ‘Bloggess’ and you get ‘Bloggess Shatner’, ‘Bloggess William Shatner’, and (my favorite) ‘Bloggess Hobbit’.
    .-= LB @Wait, She Said What?´s last blog ..Why yes, I would like a free in-home estimate and you’re a total douche. =-.

    Like

  42. Dude, in re: second question, I see your righteous fury and raise you this: why the balls are invalid and invalid are spelled the same. I mean, geez, English language, insensitive to the differently abled much?!
    .-= That Kind of Girl´s last blog ..The Kind of Girl Who … IS A PUBLISHED POET! =-.

    Like

  43. I noticed that there is an over-abundance of inquiries regarding feces. It seems we are rather obsessed about that.
    .-= remittance girl´s last blog ..Podcasted – Bequeathed, Part One =-.

    Like

  44. That is so funny!

    Like

  45. I tried it out and got “Why did Micheal Jackson turn white?”

    FRICKEN AWESOME!!

    …oh, what, too soon? 2,930,000,000 search results disagree.
    .-= Trickyli´s last blog ..OMG, has anyone read this?!? (AKA the Wildrose Alliance wants to hate you) =-.

    Like

  46. When I type “why” in Google, it automatically suggests past searches I had initiated starting with this word. I’m just saying…
    .-= Makya´s last blog ..It’s Not Easy Being Green =-.

    Like

  47. wow… even works down in New Zealand; I’m so much more informed now… about nipples, dogs, cats, birds… the sky and why get married….
    thanks….
    .-= fiona´s last blog ..Social media in business is kind of like dating… =-.

    Like

  48. LOL that is just SICK LOL
    .-= Night Owl Mama´s last blog ..Winner for Little Music Lovers Smart Cd =-.

    Like

  49. […] collecting myself from the bout of giggles when I read The Bloggess’ post about the rather bizarre auto-suggestion in Google Search, I was ready to find some more. (Awesome, the old classic, “french military victories” […]

    Like

  50. I love “Why do Americans…” and “Why do Germans…” Try it!

    I tried “Why does the bloggess…” but I got nothing. Why DOES the bloggess do nothing??
    .-= SupaCoo´s last blog ..A short list of a few of the things I will miss when I leave Germany =-.

    Like

  51. Nice. It’s so kind of you to think of us. How did you know we’d be needing divine intervention on this hellish night of no end? How is Nancy by the way? It’s been too long since we’ve heard from her. If your Japanese dungeon of love post didn’t get her fired up, well then her medication needs adjustment.

    Like

  52. Google Australia is different … no mention of dead pakistanis (wtf?) but I did get “why did the chicken cross the road” and “why is a raven like a writing desk”. If I type in “why doesn’t” I get a whole bunch of “why doesn’t he like me?” – so sad LOL

    Like

  53. also, why can’t…

    why can’t i own a canadian?
    .-= Cassie´s last blog ..almost wednesday =-.

    Like

  54. I tried a few other ones…. apparently Google also responds not only to ‘Why’ but also
    Who, what, where, when…… oh, and it just gets funnier!

    Like

  55. “Why do I . . .” is pretty good too.

    I got plenty of nuthin’ when I used the google feature through Firefox. But when I went directly to google.com, I got the good stuff.
    .-= TheExpatresse´s last blog ..The Apples Sure Don’t Fall Far From the Tree =-.

    Like

  56. also, why don’t… (australia)

    why don’t penguins feet freeze?

    hehe

    Like

  57. Awesome.

    It must been fun to work at Google and see all the shit people surf for.
    .-= Ed Adams´s last blog ..Wednesday…………….Veterans Day =-.

    Like

  58. That is why Google New Zealand sucks big time.
    I got, why is the sky blue, and why won’t my car start.
    Lame-O.

    Like

  59. Google is because everyone knows parakeets don’t eat diarrhea.Google have always proven the fact that their are only one in the market and try spread word of mouth.

    Like

  60. If you type in ‘Why don’t..’ it’s pretty cool too..
    “Why don’t all the fish die when lightning hit the sea?”

    Like

  61. ‘Why Won’t God Heal Amputees?’ is actually an atheist/anti-religious site. It’s a pretty interesting read.

    Like

  62. I only got to ‘wh’ and it came up with White People Stole My Car.

    Awesome.
    .-= Leesh´s last blog ..Aye Aye, Cap’n Blob Turducky =-.

    Like

  63. Same at Google Germany: “Why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch?”
    What a horrifying result for the German racists:) I am sure they discuss this later in a major newspaper…

    Like

  64. This is exactly why I don’t have a parakeet.
    .-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..Can I pretend these are capri pants? =-.

    Like

  65. Type, “is it ok”

    Like

  66. Why…..uh. What…..uh. Wher?
    .-= Swistle´s last blog ..Adding (a Pet) to the Family =-.

    Like

  67. Thats fucked. and still accurate. Wow. Just wow.
    .-= DjLunchbox´s last blog ..52 Ills 13 =-.

    Like

  68. Of course I’m killing everyone’s fun by saying so, but the “dead Pakistani” question is a quote from (slash reference to) the television show “Lost.”
    I mean, it was equally hilarious ON the show, but maybe slightly less alarming for the police.
    .-= Random´s last blog ..Jason’s Here! =-.

    Like

  69. I typed why into mystery google and I will write the results when I stop blushing…

    Like

  70. I want to know: why does Google feature artwork of a man ply a child with a teddy bear, a flag and candy and then make him play uniform dress-up and salute him? The Internet is so depraved, so depraved.
    .-= Deb´s last blog ..A Place for Everything =-.

    Like

  71. The bigger question is why would you want to feed your parakeet that? Does Google have the answer for that one?
    .-= beth aka confusedhomemaker´s last blog ..Raking Leaves =-.

    Like

  72. “Why won’t my parakeet eat my diarrhea?”

    Um. Hello?

    They can’t hold a spoon.

    Stupid fuck. Like you needed to Google that.
    .-= moooooog35´s last blog ..Fatty McFatShit and Physics 101 =-.

    Like

  73. You should have typed in what….the last one is what are these strawberries doing on my nipples, I need them for my fruit salad! LMAO
    .-= The Bare Essentials Today´s last blog ..Girl Talk Thursday – Work Sucks =-.

    Like

  74. If you type “Why did he” in google.co.uk it’s quite depressing…

    Like

  75. just checked.
    “why is there a dead pakistani on my couch”
    and
    “why did Michael Jackson turn white”
    were my favourites.

    Like

  76. I don’t remember that graphic on Google recently….I must have missed it. However, it really looks like a midget postal worker about to give a giant man a blow job. Does any one else see that? …. Just me? Crap.
    .-= MinivanSoapbox´s last blog ..These Things I Know =-.

    Like

  77. Um, yeah, one of mine was “Why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch” I think I win.
    .-= Amy´s last blog ..Hi-tech =-.

    Like

  78. Oh nevermind, yours said that, too. I so totally lose and apparently have ADD so severe I couldn’t take the time to read your whole list.
    .-= Amy´s last blog ..Hi-tech =-.

    Like

  79. I totally blogged about that disobedient parakeet who won’t eat my diariah!! Like last week: http://www.belleandnel.com/2009/10/why-wont-my-parakeet-ever-do-anything-i.html
    .-= Belle´s last blog ..Will Prostitute for More Cardigans =-.

    Like

  80. Take No Prisoners: November 12th…

    There is a church sign between my house and office that currently says “Laborers needed for God’s Great Harvest” and every time I see it, I read it as “Labradors” and envision a field of labradors, waiting to be harvested. —– Jezebel pointed …

    Like

  81. You do realize you’ve just encouraged thousands to take up a new and completely childish, time wasting hobby right? Ok good, and… thanks! It’s fucking awesome!
    I found:
    The Pope.. has it but doesn’t use it
    and;
    Jesus.. is my homeboy
    .-= karen @agentninety9´s last blog ..Lest We Forget… =-.

    Like

  82. Google probably thinks humanity is pretty screwed up…Google should write a blog about all the effed up searches it gets, that would be good reading.

    Like

  83. When I typed “WHY” in my google I got this:

    “why is there a dead pakistani on my couch”

    WTF google!

    Like

  84. Oh my gosh! I’ve found another Google friend! Such a time waster but so entertaining. I recently did a post on this and had a blast. Oh the things you will find!
    .-= Jane´s last blog ..Before You Speak Walk A Mile In Their Shoes =-.

    Like

  85. Hmmmm…Weird huh?
    I put in “why can’t”, “why won’t”, and “why shouldn’t” just to be sure that you didn’t like rig your google to index random shit!…You totally didn’t! Wow…and those are just the MOST popular, imagine if you got to the last page of that search?… I’m so creeped out…WTF is wrong with the world! Shouldn’t there be important crap that pops up? I mean damn, seriously?!? …”Why shouldn’t you pass out with your shoes on?” really??
    Maybe because once you’re unconscious your brain doesn’t regulate blood flow and will make your feet swell…idk…fuck it! WTH!
    .-= BlackBird´s last blog ..10 Things To Do With a Severed Thumb =-.

    Like

  86. That’s is bizarre, as just yesterday, my sweet innocent 9 yo daughter was researching for a class project. I had the presence of mind to make sure she didn’t do that alone, but that didn’t help as she was reading nearly the *exact same* list (BONUS: “why did Micheal Jackson turn white?” But it seems that’s because I’m Canadian and we don’t get it, apparently. I thought Americans didn’t get that either, but it looks like I was wrong. Can someone dumb it down for us please?)

    Thankfully, she didn’t ask (me) why so many would want to know about a dead pakistani, although she did giggle about why men would have nipples. Mostly because it said “nipple” I’m assuming.
    .-= harmzie´s last blog ..Remembrance =-.

    Like

  87. I totally got “why is there a dead pakistani on my couch”

    WTF?
    .-= Dana´s last blog ..This Really Is It =-.

    Like

  88. also fun: What would…

    I mean really? I always wondered what Louis Brad Pitt’s Interview with a vampire character would…OH JUST GO SEE.

    I can’t thank you enough for making me have to take a 30 second shower because I got so distracted by NOT WORKING on what I was supposed to.
    .-= Dana´s last blog ..This Really Is It =-.

    Like

  89. THank you for the internet Al Gore!
    .-= Morfar´s last blog ..Hvad kan man lære af det? =-.

    Like

  90. yay for the google robot!

    Like

  91. This Thanksgiving? I am seriously going to say at the Thanksgiving dinner, in front of my parents-in-law, that I am grateful for this crazy woman in Texas. Instead of crying and saying I want to marry you, I am just going to ask you to start a harem and add me as one of the “harem dwellers” (I don’t know what the right term is but I am afraid to google anything now…). Thank you.
    .-= submom´s last blog ..Bring back Thanksgiving! Please, no Christmas decorations until Black Friday… =-.

    Like

  92. Hahaha…. So, if you type in “Why” right now, the last line has been replaced with, wait for it…. “Why did Michael Jackson turn white”.

    Like

  93. LMAO! That’s totally awesome. I love google

    Like

  94. And if you type “Why don”, one suggestion is “Why don’t people like me”. Glad I am not the only insecure social retard on the interweb.
    .-= submom´s last blog ..Bring back Thanksgiving! Please, no Christmas decorations until Black Friday… =-.

    Like

  95. I just got “why does my vag smell?”, and “why does asparagus make your pee smell?”….funny funny!
    The “why won’t my parakeet eat my diarrhea”…is priceless! Bunch of fucking morons!
    .-= BlackBird´s last blog ..10 Things To Do With a Severed Thumb =-.

    Like

  96. The parakeet is back! And if you don’t put a space, mid way down you get whyy – short for whyy can’t I spell worth a damn, I guess.
    .-= Steph @ Problem Solvin Mom´s last blog ..Feeling worn out? 5 quick and caffeine free energizers =-.

    Like

  97. I’ve been doing this all damn day….Thanx! If I get fired, I’m totally moving in with you!! No, seriously…
    “Why can’t I own a Canadian?”…WTF!….This is soooo much fun!
    .-= BlackBird´s last blog ..10 Things To Do With a Severed Thumb =-.

    Like

  98. why haven’t I stopped crying?

    Can too much laughter be bad for you?
    .-= mrsblogalot´s last blog ..The Blogging Kingdom =-.

    Like

  99. Apparently my Google is a racist. I keep getting things like “Why are all the black kids sitting together in the cafeteria?” “What would the world be like without black people”?

    Seriously Google? WTF? Don’t be racist.

    Like

  100. I just clicked on “why is there a dead pakistani on my couch” and can’t even believe the number of responses for that. I’m scared.
    .-= Michelle´s last blog ..All good things must come to an end… =-.

    Like

  101. Compare “how might” and “how 2”:

    how might a capsule contribute to pathogenicity
    how might flagella contribute to pathogenicity
    how might scope changes in the implementation phase affect quality time and budget

    how 2 kiss
    how 2 get pregnant
    how 2 grow weed

    Like

  102. I got
    “Why do men have nipples?” and
    “Why don’t penguins feet freeze?” which both sound perfectly legitimate to me.
    Added for interest … “Why haven’t we been back to the moon?”
    .-= KatieP´s last blog ..Eating When You’re NOT Hungry =-.

    Like

  103. Why would someone ask google why there’s a dead pakistani on their couch?

    Only you can prevent dead pakistani’s on your couch.
    .-= Paula´s last blog ..Wayne’s World =-.

    Like

  104. Very funny! I have often thought about googling all sorts of nonsense, more specifically infectious diseases via Google on my work internet. They are extremely anal about internet abuse, and given the department I work in, I’m sure it would come up on the internet abuse report and make for some interesting gossip!
    .-= Ninanoclue´s last blog ..Ghosts of Receding Past… =-.

    Like

  105. When I do it, I also get “why did michael jackson turn white” which has 2,930,000,000 results, apparently.

    Like

  106. OMG! That is bizarre – did you click on the parakeet/diarhea site??? Ok, I’ll go do it for both of us…
    .-= Holli´s last blog ..Walk in – Roll Out. Houston hosts Holli =-.

    Like

  107. Every time I read your blog I want to comment but then all your commenters are so freaking witty and awesome that it intimidates me. I could only wish to be as witty, I keep coming back to try to gleen it from them. Like a ghost stealing energy, or something like that.
    And I’m driving my best friend nuts by reading your blogs out loud to her, because she “can read!” but I like reading out loud and my son never lets me read to him.
    .-= Randaroopoo´s last blog ..Losing Steam…And a Veteran’s Day Post =-.

    Like

  108. Right? That’s why I don’t comment here either. It’s a well-known fact that my commenters are way funnier than me. That’s why I do the “comment of the day”. So I can steal from them. Kind of pathetic, really.

    Like

  109. Why is the grass always greener on someone else’s blog?
    .-= Momish´s last blog .."R" Is For Risk =-.

    Like

  110. Thanks to you I now know WHY WON’T my hydrangea bloom?

    I have been meaning to google about that thing for years because it is underperforming. So now I know! I’m going to think of you, now, when it blooms. “If it were not for The Bloggess, I’ll tell my neighbors….”
    .-= Amy´s last blog ..Beach Home Devastated by Skittle =-.

    Like

  111. 112
    EveEnsler'sTwat

    I typed in “W-h-y?” . . .but didn’t feel it necessary to push “search.”

    No need to complicate the inscrutable.
    The inscrutable’s fine all by itself.

    And as soon as the coroner gets the goddamn Pakistani off my couch it will be even finer.

    Like

  112. I learn something new and entertaining every time I come here!
    .-= Devilish Southern Belle´s last blog ..This is the day! =-.

    Like

  113. i did it, but auto suggestions don’t show the last one about brooks and dunn. mine is: “why did michael jackson turn white”

    um.

    that is AUSOME.
    .-= sarah´s last blog ..Luxury Chocolate Salon, Los Angeles October 2008 =-.

    Like

  114. You will be overjoyed to know that when you type in “what” you get “what are these strawberries doing on my nipples i need them for the fruit salad”.

    Awesome, indeed.

    Like

  115. Brilliant as always! Can’t wait to read more about your adventures in Japan.
    .-= Pete´s last blog ..The Letter… =-.

    Like

  116. Oh yeah more stuff I can’t get out of my head poor parakeet trying to slurp up diarrhea aww. I know plenty of Canadians who holler they are all in my house. Wanna meet them?
    .-= habanerogal´s last blog ..Remembrance Day =-.

    Like

  117. […] the meals and run around after a toddler on any given day. On the other hand I find time to read this post at The Bloggess and check it out on […]

    Like

  118. If you google “what” you get : what are these strawberries doing on my nipples i need them for the fruit salad…bloggess, is that you?

    Like

  119. Also, you will find that Linda does not read all the comments before she shares her awesome insights! Curse you O the Joys…you stole my one moment of glory!

    Like

  120. On the norwegian google, the dead pakistani one was actually the top suggestion. Maybe we have more dead people on our couches here.

    Like

  121. LOL 😀

    Okay, I just tried this myself, and the autosuggestions I got were as follows:

    why is the sky blue (63 200 000 results)

    why do men have nipples (3 140 000 results)

    whyville (95 700 results)

    why do cats purr (315 000 results)

    why men cheat (8 390 000 results)

    why do dogs eat grass (514 000 results)

    why did the chicken cross the road (625 000 results)

    why is there a dead pakistani on my couch (52 600 results)

    why did michael jackson turn white (2 930 000 000 results)

    why am i so tired (2 700 000 results)

    . . . uh . . . go figure? 🙂
    .-= Jon Pear (a.k.a. NeuroAster)´s last blog ..pervasive developmental poem, not otherwise specified =-.

    Like

  122. And, let Bossy guess, a quick search of ‘why oh lord why’ leads right to Bossy?
    .-= BOSSY´s last blog ..Yet Another Little Known Fact =-.

    Like

  123. Oh, my God. I almost had to sue you. I was reading your blog while sipping coffee and spat all over my computer. Lucky for you I take lady-like sips and damage was minimal.

    Your blog is so goddamn funny I had to post a link to my own. And I hate competition. So chew on that for a while.

    ps: thanks for the laugh today. I really needed it.
    .-= A Reluctant Mom´s last blog ..Doctor My Eyes =-.

    Like

  124. What I wanna know is: Why won’t my parakeet eat my homework? 🙂
    .-= Jon Pear (a.k.a. NeuroAster)´s last blog ..pervasive developmental poem, not otherwise specified =-.

    Like

  125. I also got “Why did Michael Jackson turn white”

    I am curious to know that question you had intended on asking Google when you discovered this little gem…
    .-= Abigail Carter´s last blog ..The "Why Bother" Syndrome =-.

    Like

  126. Why ask google that is the real question. Google has issues. Who the fuck asks this stuff.
    .-= mepsipax´s last blog ..Speed limit =-.

    Like

  127. why am I sitting here on the internets when I have a hundred fucking million things to do?
    .-= yogurtry´s last blog ..words every mother dreads hearing =-.

    Like

  128. I find it interesting that someone would find a dead pakistani on their couch and immediately consult the internet as to why. I could understand, “How do I get rid of that dead pakistani smell?” or “Dead Pakistani recipes.”
    .-= MayoPie´s last blog ..Mission Impossible: So let’s do a different mission. An easy one. Maybe where kids are the enemy or something. =-.

    Like

  129. I’m aware that this probably isn’t the forum for airing my complaint, but I really don’t care. I found your blog using StumbleUpon and I’m hooked. I have subscribed to it and I also follow you on twitter. However, there is one very disturbing problem with your site.

    I have been diligently digging into your archives and therein lies the problem. Let’s say I chose June 2008 as my fix for today. In order to appreciate your awesomeness in the correct order, I have to scroll to the bottom of each page and go to the previous entries until I reach the beginning of the month. I then have to read each page starting at the bottom. When I finally reach the top, I have to scroll back down to the bottom and go to the next page only to start the whole silly process again.

    This is time consuming and unfair. Reading your archives this way takes considerably time away from my dogs and husband who are all whimpering for food in the background. If you love me, as you should, you will fix this. If not, I will be forced to tell all 3 of my friends what a vile, socially-retarded, selfish toad you are. The choice is yours.

    Like

  130. 131
    Wendy (still looking for peter pan)

    I totally don’t want to break up your marriage, because your husband sounds awesome…. but I think I’ve found your soulmate…. http://www.thesneeze.com/brainwatch-timeline/
    no shit. check it out.

    Like

  131. Then there is asking Google: When?

    When will I die?

    When will the world end?

    Definitely not …as funny.
    .-= JCK´s last blog ..Yet…children are not necessarily good for marriage =-.

    Like

  132. “Why will,” now there’s an interesting (and often oddly specific) question:

    Why will the world end in 2012
    Why will gram positive cells more than 24 hours old stain gram negative
    Why will a magnet attract an ordinary nail or paper clip but not a wooden pencil
    Why will the earth end in 2012
    Why will obligate anaerobes grow in thioglycolate
    Why william petersen left csi
    Why will we die in 2012
    Why william is called bill
    and finally,
    Why will a carrot slice when placed in tap water for 24 hours become very stiff.

    Answer these questions and you can rule the world.
    Until of course it ends in 2012.

    Great blog. 😉

    Like

  133. So, have you tried to ask What? or When? or How? or Where? I wonder what comes up. Okay, I don’t wonder – I just did it.

    What?
    what are these strawberries doing on my nipples i need them for the fruit salad

    …the fuck?

    How?
    how long does weed stay in your system

    Awesome. Google knows just what I’m thinking!
    .-= Kendahl´s last blog ..Dream Dinners Review =-.

    Like

  134. My “why” search turned up with “why did michael jackson turn white.” Those are some deep and hard questions, little 6655321. The search for “will” brings up William Shatner, of course.

    Like

  135. i’m afraid. i’m very, very afraid.

    Like

  136. I love me some Google. Bite me, Bing.
    .-= Martie´s last blog ..Oh, God, Please Help Me… =-.

    Like

  137. When I put in “why” I got: “Why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch?”

    Let’s be clear: I don’t have a dead Pakistani on my couch. I didn’t need that information from Google.

    But it did serve useful, after all.
    .-= Memoirgirl´s last blog ..What is Up With Me, Part 3 =-.

    Like

  138. That is too freaking funny. But my real question is what you were trying to find out on Google that caused you to type “Why”

    I hope you weren’t trying to find out why your poop is green. LOL.

    Great post.
    .-= Rob´s last blog ..Sunday MckLinky Edition =-.

    Like

  139. Why, Google? — TheBloggess.com…

    Taking a short intermission from stories of almost getting murdered in Japan to demand that you go right now to Google and type in “Why”. Then look at the auto-suggestions….

    Like

  140. Jenny, please tell me you did NOT click “I’m Feeling Lucky”!

    ~EdT.
    .-= EdT.´s last blog ..Making an Impact =-.

    Like

  141. I would like to know why there is a dead Pakistani on my couch, too.

    He is starting to stink up the place. And that’s really quite a feat in my house.
    .-= Shan @ Last Shreds Of Sanity´s last blog ..Shan’s Week ~ End Wordles =-.

    Like

  142. One of mine was “why can’t I own a canadian?”

    And really, if you’re american, I have no good reason.
    .-= SciFi Dad´s last blog ..The Great Interview Experiment: Jodifur =-.

    Like

  143. LOL. This was my Friday post! I write a Friday Favorites, and found this on Failblog.org. Had to pass it on. After all this time being online, it shouldn’t surprise me, but it did. And it made me laugh a really, really, REALLY long time with my husband. So thank you, crazy people who feel the need to Google wacky things like poop-eating parakeets. You made my day!
    .-= Karen Bannan´s last blog ..Favorite Things Friday: You Gotta Have Friends =-.

    Like

  144. I got many of the same ones that you got, but also got:

    “why can’t i own a canadian”
    .-= Annie @ PhD in Parenting´s last blog ..Essential Pregnancy Products Guide =-.

    Like

  145. […] (The Bloggess showed me this, btw. Her results were better.) […]

    Like

  146. The answer to the question “why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch?” can be found on Yahoo Answers.

    Like

  147. So…i got “why does my vag smell” ? (along with all most of the other ones) Also, my husband made me click on the one that said “why do men have nipples”? He must be curious too… And, what happens when you click that “i’m feeling lucky button” ?
    .-= Levon´s last blog ..I suck at being a skinny bitch =-.

    Like

  148. I couldnt get passed the searches because that screen shot you took of google makes the guy w/ the legs look like a penis head if you glance real fast.

    I was sad I missed that day.
    ~Trisha
    .-= trisha´s last blog ..Bloggers and Tiaras, Mission #3 =-.

    Like

  149. Dear people horrified/confused by the “dead Pakistani” question:
    It’s a quote from Lost. It’s one of the funnier lines ever said on the show. However, the Pakistani was actually an Iraqi character, being played by an Indian, and he wasn’t actually dead (on the show or in real life).

    Like

  150. Try typing “I like” into google and see what it comes up with 🙂

    Like

  151. […] a short break from marking papers this evening, I was catching up on some blog reading and saw this posting on The Bloggess.  And I thought I’d give it a try myself, to see what the people are Goolging these days.  […]

    Like

  152. try Google hacking and see what comes up

    Like

  153. 155
    Lady Penelope

    Thank you for making me laugh like a seal with a sore throat – and subsequently spending the next 15 minutes on Google. They should pay you for all the traffic you bring them. Just sayin’…

    Like

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  1. Duchess Jane November 12, 2009
  2. momshare.net November 15, 2009

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