It might not even be pudding. It may have been lotion. Or some sort of spackle.

A video of weird/offensive/awesome stuff I bought in Japan.  Also, I suck at making videos.  That’ll be evident if you make it to the end.  But about halfway through I eat a boobie.  So there’s that.  Totally redeeming.

Comment of the day: Peppermint creeps the everliving crap out of me. Totally did not expect the eye color change thing. And since she’s Japanese, there’s probably some horrible karmic consequence of pulling the ass-string. Like, in seven days you’ll be forcefed boobie pudding until you die.  Unless this whole Vlog was like “The Ring” and then we’re all fucked. Oh God. Sleeping with the light on. ~ TxtingMrDarcy

125 thoughts on “It might not even be pudding. It may have been lotion. Or some sort of spackle.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I could use the Hello Kitty earmuffs in Roanoke, VA! But perhaps you’ll get a random ice storm this winter and can rock them all over Houston…

  2. You’re hilarious. Still. Thanks. And thanks for the bonus. I’m totally gonna use it.

  3. As soon as I saw the “sauce” for the boob, I *knew* it would be nasty.

    … and that doll is awesome. But really creepy. The eye changing ability is both awesome AND creepy.
    .-= Michelle´s last blog ..Wait, what?! =-.

  4. Gone to lynch. I would wear that pin out of the house every single day, but mostly because I am unemployed and a lynching would be so much more appropriate than a lunch. Especially if it were free.
    .-= Kate´s last blog ..Writer’s Block =-.

  5. I think that’s a hot move no matter how old you are. Cause even if you don’t have wrinkles to pull back you still pull back your eyes and they get all narrow and almond shaped and pretty. Plus you’re basically just framing your face with your fingers and it makes it all heart-shaped and pretty.

  6. I’m still laughing that you ate bad pudding. I know. SO mean.

    But, also, I think the women from my nail salon (that sounds pretentious) bought their little apron-smock things from the same place as those bags. Their aprons say something about “Little White Pups” and how their “secret is safe with me.”

    Maybe it’s an allegory. Metaphor? No, wait. Onomatopoeia. Definitely that one.
    .-= Kristine´s last blog ..I Can’t Be Held Responsible for ths Blog =-.

  7. “Gone to Lynch” reminds me of the charm I once got out of a gumball machine. It read: “I LOYE YOU”

  8. You know, you could have stayed in the US and bought stuff written in English and made in Japan. It’s everywhere… no world traveling needed. You know, just for the next time you get the made in Japan written in English bug. But don’t go to Wal-Mart… that’s all Chinese. I mean, unless you’re thinking about going to China to buy things made in China, but written in English, then by all means, go to Wal-Mart. But for the made in Japan but written in English bug, go anywhere else, like the Sony outlet… hor a Honda dealership. Though Honda has plants in Anerica now, so maybe not. But definitely the Sony outlet. Ooooh or a Mitsubishi dealership, I don’t think they’re made in America yet.

    Oh and you’re really pretty.
    .-= Amy´s last blog ..Random Crap =-.

  9. You know. . . . .it just occurred to me that you would be perfect at one of those video shows where you have to survive in the wild against fantastic odds.
    Like Bear Gryll or Regis Philbin or Drew Carey or whoever the fuck it is that does those things. . . .
    The only tools you would be allowed to bring along ? . . .Your elbows. And maybe a soup ladle or vegetable parer . . . . !! IT would be GREAT !!!!

    You should probably tell Victor before you leave. Because that’s the noble kind of explorer you are, Jen, and you know it. We’re with you on this one.

  10. You made me cringe when you were trying to open that pudding package. Shouldn’t you have someone assisting you with that kind of stuff (or bring sharp implements) so that you don’t aggravate your RA? My daughter has a genetic condition (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Type III) and we, essentially, have to open most things for her. Packages, jars, doors – anything that might aggravate or cause her joints to dislocate. Just a thought. Loved seeing you rip into the pudding with your teeth, though. Make sure Victor sees that; it will be a definite turn-on. Tigress and all. You know. Right?
    .-= Pop and Ice´s last blog ..The Secret Drawer =-.

  11. Leave it to Japan to invent ecstatic schoolgirl boobie pudding. Dear lord. “Gone to lynch” is fantastic.

  12. True story: We had a computer system made by NEC (which is a Japanese company). On one of the screens, there was a drop down menu for image adjustments. Then menu was supposed to say white powder (for reasons unknown…long story…anyway) but instead it said WHITE POWER. Nice.

    Another true story: I went to an ethnic food fair once. I sampled the Japanese food. Except for some delicious butter cookies, everything was fish flavored. Even some basic unassuming crackers. So I’m guessing your pudding was fish flavor and the sauce was soy or teriyaki. Yum.
    .-= a´s last blog ..Show and Tell =-.

  13. I want to be your best friend. No, not really. I already have one. But I do want to shop with you. And don’t eat any more boobies. They could be hazardous to your health. Only the health of women though. Booby eating is okay for men.
    .-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Pictures =-.

  14. Jesus Jenny, didn’t it occur to you that that pudding might be made of breastmilk??!???

    There is seriously not enough punctuation for this situation.

    If I were going to make pudding out of breastmilk, I would certainly shape the final product into little pudding boobies. Alternately, if I were planning to make pudding boobies, I would go out of my way to find some breastmilk to make them out of!

    I think you need antibiotics, like, yesterday. Just to be safe.
    .-= Amy´s last blog ..It’s Oh So Quiet =-.

  15. That was so brave of you, to taste mysterious Japanese boobie pudding live on camera – well, not live for us, but it was live when you did it… whatever, BRAVE! Sorry it didn’t work out – I was expecting it to be glutinous and sweet, but maybe it was fish-based. They’re a strange people, the Japanese.

    My favourite was ‘Thimk’ – it’s priceless. Someone should manufacture them, or put it on a t-shirt. I would buy it.
    .-= Pam´s last blog ..This sporting life =-.

  16. Never a dull moment on your blog. Seriously, I applaud you and your vlog. I am HORRIFIED of doing one myself. Maybe I should eat pudding from Japan in a penis shaped container in hopes of it helping break the vlog ice?! Food for thought.
    .-= Sarah´s last blog ..Overheard =-.

  17. I’m curious. Would it have tasted better if you tried it with the sauce?

    On top of which, you proved your theory of never buy anything you don’t understand. Because I bet the rest of the label says ‘Dear Japan, the deliciousness is implied and this is a tourist-y product. Please do not feed this to anything but your pet lobster. And don’t tell the tourists we like to have sex with bears. And DO tell the tourists it’s BREASTY DELICIOUSNESS. That is all’ Which sounds like alot but I’m pretty sure that a single Japanese character summarizes 30 english words.

    P.S That Blythe doll is to DIE for…SWOONY MacSWOONSVILLE!
    .-= Leesh´s last blog ..Aye Aye, Cap’n Blob Turducky =-.

  18. you TOTALLY ate fish boob pudding. good thing you didn’t get the teenage skank vagina pudding. you should stop buying body part pudding in airport parking garages. cause if you get poisoned and pass out you will need to be identified by your “gone lynching” pin. just sayin’.

  19. Don’t throw the pudding away. I think that’s how they make Botox, which gives you a long lasting angry facelift.

    Also, that spitting? Confirms you are a freaking heterosexual in at least two ways. When am I going to get that through my head. Sad panda.
    .-= Deb´s last blog ..A Place for Everything =-.

  20. I spend my fair share of time in front of the mirror giving myself temporary facelifts. Glad it’s not just me.

  21. I’m under 30 and gorgeous you can be my cougar any day (victor permitting-no hard feelings v)

  22. 1) I am constantly frustrated at my job and you save my sanity. Thank you!

    2) ‘Lynch’s’ is the name of an Irish pub near me. I cannot tell you how many days I would rather have “Gone to Lynch” than have gone to lunch (‘Lynch’ in this case being an abbreviated form of ‘Lynch’s’; just for the record, I have no interest in lynching anyone).

  23. God, I love Japan. You’re completely right about the sneaky kanji insults, by the way – I found a whole section of ‘oriental’ T-shirts in a store the other with “I’m a fat ugly American” written on it in massive kanji lettering. Except I live in Australia, so… not so successful.

    It goes both ways though. When I went to Tokyo Disneyland this year, I saw a Japanese man with his kids. The first thing I noticed was that his English shirt said, “There’s nothing I love more than waking up in the morning with my lover’s cock inside of me.” Yeah.

  24. If you could read Japanese, you would know that the breasts are not pudding, but rather
    recycled silicone implants. The sauce is actually glue to attach them. They are made
    for wearing while vlogging.

    Also, Gone To Lynch….duh ……When you follow David Lynch, he sends you a button.
    It’s very valuable, as its a limited edition. Boy r u lucky to find one in Japan.

  25. On the box of the pudding, it literally says ‘Boobie Pudding’ (oppai purin in Japanese).


  26. snort! short of spewing my coffee all over my board, that was great.
    My co worker does the angry face lift!!!! And now she’s leaving her job. Probably to go advertise her Mini Angry Face Lifts to the world. Or else, she just couldn’t deal with us. Hence the angry face lifts.
    .-= lydee´s last blog ..Scenes from Fall, 2009 =-.

  27. Sorry about the boobie pudding. Well, the y did tell you it tastes like balls, eh? Kudos to you for trying AFTER you heard that. That doll is totally creepy. I didn’t have dolls when I grew up because I watched one too many Twilight episodes. (Twilight like the TV series that the young William Shatner was in not the movie series. Oh god no). I think you should put it in the bathroom, sitting on the water tank of the toilet, preferably with an eerie light shining on it for when Victor uses the bathroom at night. And thank you for the awesome bonus tip. I do “the Look” a lot, and that will be tremendously helpful.
    .-= submom´s last blog ..“The Saddest Kid In The Class” =-.

  28. Great Vlog.

    I love how I finally get to see a women eat boobies on cam and she spits them out. WTF. Not cool.

    Also the “Gone to Lynch” button made me LOL. Funny that they have that kind of shit in Japan. Weird.

    You should Vlog more often it was good. Also I love your mad but hott look!
    .-= Rob´s last blog ..Sunday MckLinky Edition =-.

  29. I can’t believe someone isn’t selling boobie pudding on Etsy yet. Clearly there is a market for the stuff. Wouldn’t that be a great stocking stuffer?? Maybe not so much for the kiddies. Although my 7-year-old son would probably laugh for 20 minutes if they were in his stocking. The holiday pictures alone would make that worthwhile!
    .-= Andrea´s last blog .."Another one bites the dust" =-.

  30. FYI… “Thimk” is an old one. I remember it from the 60’s. Back then, when IBM was undisputed master of the computer industry, they had signs around the offices saying “Think”; I think “Thimk” started as a parody of that. And, yes, sadly I’m old enough to remember the 60’s.

  31. Maybe the boob pudding just wasn’t your thing. Maybe they were marketing towards lesbian cannibals. The kanji reads: A Whole New Meaning to “Eating Out.”

  32. Love the Japanenglish!!! Thimk woman!!!

    The boobie pudding episode had me totally laughing – especially when you had to spit it out!!! Gross.

    I thimk I would totally LOVE Japan for these same reasons, and I’d definitely bring back things like boobie-pudding 🙂

    More videos!!!
    .-= Holli´s last blog ..Walk in – Roll Out. Houston hosts Holli =-.

  33. I’m totally disappointed about the boobie pudding. Oh, and the poop in your bath. You totally got ripped off. At least you got a cool bag and Blythe doll so that kinda makes up for it. Still.
    .-= Sonya´s last blog ..What a "doll"! =-.

  34. I did a google for “pudding boobs” and tons ‘o links came up! If you fish around enough it looks like Japan has a similar product for increasing the bust size call “F-CUP Pudding” (and there was this fun post, too:!
    Jeze, whatever happened to this jobber (Seriously, my MOTHER had one!)?
    .-= tokenblogger´s last blog ..Went to the V-day parade and other stuff I didn’t post about this week… =-.

  35. I saw Lynch and thought Jane Lynch, Sue from Glee…

    Also my Grandma had one of those eyeball changing dolls and hwne I was little I always thought it was sooo cool. So now you are as cool as my dead Grandma! Who, also when I was little, I used to call my Jelly Bean Grandma. Because she always had candy.

    That, my dear, is cool.
    .-= Adelas (Della)´s last blog ..Contest Winner, Sesame Street =-.

  36. No! No! *I* am supposed to be your new best friend.

    Trying to rip open the boobie/pudding pack? Wonderful. Wonderful material. THIS is why God, or Al Gore, invented the interwebz.

    I lived in Taiwan. Which is not Japan; okay I’ll give you that. But we DID HAVE HELLO KITTY. And lots of weird fish flavored shit.

    And stuff with Chin-glish on it.

    Like, I had a friend with a book bag that said “HIGH CLASS PURSE. WE WERE FILLED WITH JOY.”

    And all of the kids in one of the engineering colleges at the university where I taught English had t-shirts that said “ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING. CHERISH THE LOVE.”

    Fist bump. Right?
    .-= TheExpatresse´s last blog ..Um, I’m PRETTY Sure I Didn’t Say It QUITE That Way =-.

  37. So, this is totally unrelated to your post. (I need some pudding boobies, tho) I had a dream last night that you came to a totally lame Halloween party that my friend had, but I invited you. And you brought Victor and your dog and cat, but they were not your actual dog and cat. They were weird. And you and Victor were totally pissed off the whole time.
    .-= Windsor´s last blog ..Sometimes, I am really stupid =-.

  38. So by saying that you will never wear the button *OUT* of the house I am assuming you are wearing it every moment in the house. Like a subtle warning to any one who might fuck with you.
    Then you are going to give them the poop and say fuck you! I am going to Lynch!
    .-= A Vapid Blonde´s last blog ..Simple Joy Sunday, #4 =-.

  39. I think there’s a word for people that do these kinds of things…what is it? Hmmmm……
    Oh yeah…..retard…that’s it! but i’ll give you a pass because if you’re life led you up to the point where you’re eating poop pudding…then you deserve a freebie…! YW
    Note to self: EarMuffs will totally kick my foreplay up a notch!
    .-= BlackBird´s last blog ..The Life of A Mom…Poop In The Fingernails!! =-.

  40. Too funny. I think maybe you should have put the syrup on the pudding, Jenny. And maybe it being cold would have helped the flavor a bit.

    Although the doll is a bit creepy, especially with the changing eye colors, I think it’s kind of pretty. In a freaky “this doll is going to come to life and kill you in your sleep” kind of way.

    She’s sort of like a prettier (and female) Chucky doll.

    Just sayin…
    .-= Shan @ Last Shreds Of Sanity´s last blog ..Shan’s Week ~ End Wordles =-.

  41. I WANT THAT “THIMK” BUTTON… I’ve always used that term. I’ve written newsletters for my company,,, I’ve used it when I send out eMails… telling people to THINK… and if you misspell it… then people go… like did you know you misspelled it… and then they read it just to see if there are more misspellings that they can make fun of me with… People are so cruel… but I got them… they read what ever I write as long as I put THIMK on it… (try it – it soooo works)! ! ! I still WANT that button! ! !!

  42. BLYTHE! I love Blythe dolls! I actually make my dad get me one or two whenever he goes to Japan, which is fairly often so I’ve got kind of a creepy amount of them. But I love them! They have some on eBay for frightening amounts of money. Anyway, VERY cool. Also? Boob pudding is definitely not cool.

  43. Peppermint creeps the everliving crap out of me. Totally did not expect the eye color change thing. And since she’s Japanese, there’s probably some horrible karmic consequence of pulling the ass-string. Like, in seven days you’ll be forcefed boobie pudding until you die.

    Unless this whole Vlog was like “The Ring” and then we’re all fucked. Oh God. Sleeping with the light on.
    .-= TxtingMrDarcy´s last blog ..How I Fail at Exercising Feminine Wiles =-.

  44. When I was in Italy I saw a shirt in Torino that said “Free Sex” in english on a manniquen in the store’s window. I really wish I had of bought that, it would have been awsome!

  45. Totally OT here, but my spouse and i were woofing down Chinese food the other day and he tried to be all cool and talk to me about Twitter and mentioned that someone had TWATted something on Twitter…Unfortunately i could only laugh for a few seconds since, well, the Chinese girl waiting on us thought i was laughing at her and i dont TWEET, or TWAT, soo….
    .-= Levon´s last blog ..Small Successes =-.

  46. A girl from Nepal recently started attending the preschool I work at and she totally has a Snoopy sweatshirt that says Spoony. Not only are n and p not near each other on the keyboard, they aren’t even near each other in the word.

  47. According to the bottom of the package, you don’t need to refrigerate them, but they would definitely taste better cold. I’ve never had flan at room temperature and hate to think what it would taste like. Also, the boobie sauce is caramel flavoured – and I think boobies are definitely better with caramel.

    Looking at different reviews on the web, it seems lots of people feel the pudding smells and tastes a bit ‘cheesy’ (which brings up all sorts of scary thoughts…)
    .-= subtle´s last blog ..Cross porn =-.

  48. Dude I’m glad I decided to read your blog before I left for work because I laughed so hard I nearly peed myself. That was fuckin’ Awesome!!! I’m glad you did a vblog because I don’t think I would have visualized your facial expression being quite that way when you ate the boobie. That was priceless! Way to take one for the team!
    .-= Jenn´s last blog ..Monday, Monday Just Go Away =-.

  49. LUCKY you with the Blythe doll!!

    Surely you must know about, the best website on the planet and source of tshirts and other awesomeness like the stuff you got in Japan.
    .-= Maggie´s last blog .. =-.

  50. being a new reader*, i thought that maybe you were just like a really funny asshole behind a Mac. but now i see that you’re actually kind of adorable.

    * i’m afraid that you will think that i am in some way just like one of your regular commenters, who seem (a little bit douchie) desperate for attention. (sorry y’all. just sayin’.) BUT, maybe they are adorable too….?
    .-= Jamie the Very Worst Missionary´s last blog ..Got a problem? The Very Worst Missionary can help! =-.

  51. Wait… what are those dolls called? I totally want one! Also, I wonder what the little pink nipple part of the pudding tasted like? And I KNEW when you took the bite and it was kind of *solid* instead of pudding-like, you were in trouble. I’ll bet the sauce was soy sauce flavored like semen. (FOUL!).

  52. But if you refrigerate boobie pudding, don’t the pudding nipples get really pointy?
    Maybe the taste is intentionally horrible and it’s all part of some weird abstinence program in Japan.
    Still, the video was definitely worth the price of admission. Kinda like girl-on-girl, but in a totally office safe way.
    .-= Ed´s last blog ..The Other Cheek =-.

  53. Well, now we know you spit….

    What’s a girl got to do to get a “Gone to Lynch” button? Must.Find.On.Internets.Today.

  54. you should have totally sent the boobie pudding to the sneeze rather than subjecting yourself to it.

  55. I can’t believe how many times I’ve thought of you today – nearing the end of a HUGE project and doing the Angry Facelift every 30 minutes. You totally rule because as soon as I do the Angry Facelift, I giggle, and for just a moment the day doesn’t suck *quite* as much.

  56. Super awesome video!

    I love that you’re wearing the wig, even though you’re home alone and we all already “know” and love you!

    Sorry the boobie pudding was so bad.
    .-= Kevin´s last blog ..Death of a Blogger =-.

  57. My husband wants to get one of those dolls and freak houseguests out by changing their eye color every time they leave the room. He, too, is kind of an asshole. I thought that boob pudding was going to make you vomit.
    .-= Jessica´s last blog ..The Process of Mindfulness =-.

  58. I think you should give me the “gone to lynch” pin. I live in New Zealand, we have no history of “lynching” or hanging, or corporal punishment, or any such of the like. We are a rather tame country. I think this is the country that that badge would cause the least offence, and I NEED IT. and there’d be none of that nasty “stigma”.

  59. I think Tommy Lee Jones could’ve taken the plastic off the booby pudding faster than you did, Jenny. Same with the shovel. And you wonder why he’s The Boss?

    The only thing that made sense was the Fuck You Bath Balls.

  60. “Unused Boobie Juice” is a good name for a band. Or a karaoke band. Because Japanese and all that.

  61. I had my head down on my desk silently guffawing at the boob eating part. And then I started choking on my phlegm because I have been sick for 3 weeks straight. And then Bryan came in and wanted to know if he had to perform the Heimlich on me. And then we both tried to make ourselves look younger and angry for 15 minutes.
    .-= Aimee Greeblemonkey´s last blog ..November Greeblepix Contest! =-.

  62. Girl…I am deaf, awesome, hot and not an a$$hole and I want you to caption your video or I am going to stab you.

  63. Oh my hell, you are completely adorable!! I’m not too sure what to think about the whole pudding thing…but the doll was actually pretty cool. I’ll be sure not to tell my 8 year old about her, she’d be all up my ass to try and find her one. lol

  64. Fabulous stuff! I loved your Twitter conversation article and I dug this video. Not many things can get me to sit still for 8:37 and laugh out loud repeatedly. Many thanks for the fun! Best regards, P. :)?

  65. I am SO with you about buying anything with Kanji. At my first job, we imported all kinds of stuff from Japan, China and Korea. My boss was sure that all the characters spelled out things like “Stupid Americans!”, “You bought this crap?” or my personal favorite, “Die, Round Eye!”.
    I can’t believe you were brave enough to try that pudding, even after you smelled it. Having stayed at a hotel in LA where they had the American breakfast buffet, and the Japaneses breakfast buffet, I know that I would probably die of starvation if I ever visited Japan. Squid, octopus and unidentifiable smelly globules in the morning would kill me. Or I’d just subsist on rice.

  66. So….. I think the Poop in your Bath Ball is “S**T Boy..” I am pretty sure of it. On a trip to China one of our product merchandisers brought us all “S**T Boy” toys, pens, underwear… yes, he is a Huge star in China, and the story goes that one day… a boy, Fell into the toilet….. down down down went the boy, into the drain, the sewer…. and from the toilet sprang…. well, you guess it S**T Boy. So, yeah. Sorry that I know this.

  67. My 2 year old already shits in the bathtub pretty regularly, she has constipation issues I can’t go into on the Internet because someday she’ll surf it too, so I’ll pass on the fuck you bath tub poo. The booby pudding is something to look into though, I’m curious about what bad things happened to the first batch….

  68. I know I’m late to this one having just discovered The Bloggess… But I had to add that yet again I feel sorry for Victor, now that I know you are a spitter.

  69. Damn. You. I had a whole dirty comment planned along the lines of ‘I hate it when my breasts explode all over the internets’ but watching your face when you tasted that pudding made me totally lose it – and the line “that should have been refrigerated” FLOORED me! Awesomeness, thy name is Bloggess.

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