Just to clarify: I don’t really care about Sarah Palin or Family Guy. And one time I voted for Bush. Just the first time though. Stop yelling at me.

Victor’s been out of town since Monday but he called me this morning to check in.

Victor:  So what’s going on today?

me:  Not much.  Sarah Palin’s yelling at cartoons again.

Victor:  …huh.

me:  Kind of a slow news day, I guess.

Victor:  Yeah, I actually meant ‘What’s going on at our home?”

me:  Oh. Well, you should have been more specific.

Victor:  And why did you say Sarah Palin was yelling at cartoon characters “again“?

me:   I dunno.  It just sounded funnier that way.  She seems like the kind of person who yells at cartoons all the time.

Victor:  *sigh*

me:  Oh, I’m sorry.  Did you want the Republican version of what’s going on today?  Because we can start over if that’s what you want.  I’m hanging up now.  Call me back and I’ll tell you about how Barack Obama doesn’t have a birth certificate because he’s actually a bunch of meerkats.

Then I hung up and Victor NEVER CALLED ME BACK.  Probably because he’d already heard all of the Republican news earlier.  Which makes me wonder why he even bothered to call me at all.  In all fairness though, he’s probably wondering that too.

Comment of the day: In all fairness, if I were American I probably would have voted for Bush in the first election, but that was during my “vote for whoever would look better on money” phase and sad as it is, Bush had Gore beat. That was NOT a good looking election. ~ Robynn

102 thoughts on “Just to clarify: I don’t really care about Sarah Palin or Family Guy. And one time I voted for Bush. Just the first time though. Stop yelling at me.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Wow! An exasperated sigh??? No yelling??? Aaaaawwweeee…. he really does love and understand you! 😀

    And since he never called you back that just means he doesn’t want the republican version. Smart man. 🙂

  2. Nice to know I’m not the only one having such brief conversations with my spouse. That oughta be roughly how my telephonic communication goes during my impending stay in your hometown during Mom 2.0 … right down to the “meerkats” part.
    .-= Daddy Scratches´s last blog ..Y? Because I’m a basket case! =-.

  3. This is an Official Petition to visit your brain…I’m serious. Let’s just Magic School Bus me in there.

  4. Meerkat? Is that all? Our Prime Minister is a Balloon and all his minions are cats and Dogs! Australia FTW!!!
    With Barry coming to Ozzieland soon, maybe @firstdogonmoon can draw him as his meerkat heritage
    .-= Franksting´s last blog ..Open Internet =-.

  5. Wow. My mom told me that Barack Obama hates Jesus and is really from Africa. Also, he might be the antiChrist. I didn’t know he is also a bunch of meercats.
    .-= Windsor Grace´s last blog ..Taryn P Rocks =-.

  6. I hear the Republican News every day at lunch. Did you know that Barry’s to blame for everything that’s wrong with our country? Like there isn’t a Senate or Congress that has anything to do with anything. Clearly, Obama has them all hypnotized to do his will muahahahahahaha.

  7. Don’t show this to my aunt, you’ll make her brain explode. She gets so excited about CLEARLY UNTRUE information about Obama. Then she can email me more about how Obama sells ice cream laced with poisonous darts to children because he’s actually a mentally handicapped gay russian spy.
    .-= Jamie´s last blog ..lady, lady! there’s a bear in your car! =-.

  8. I read the article about the “R-Word” flap and I realized something: Sarah Palin in f’ing brilliant! She had the foresight to give birth to a Down Syndrome child just before being thrust into the national spotlight, and milked those mommy photo ops to the max. And now, rather than fading into obscurity, she can thrust herself into the public eye every time ANY celebrity, movie, TV show or cartoon character makes any references to “retard” or “retarded.” Which happens, what? Fifty times a day? Wow. This will get her elected President in 2012, mark my words.

  9. I love the show. They (MacFarlane) make fun of everybody….I ROFFL at the stereotypical black jokes, gay jokes, pedophile jokes (that dirty old man always wanting to get in Chris’ pants) ….I say “GROW A PAIR SARAH”!!
    .-= Roschelle´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.

  10. What was Victor expecting? A soliloquy on the number of times the furnace has gone on in the last 2 days?
    .-= a´s last blog ..Equations =-.

  11. Why is Sarah Palin shouting at cartoons? I don’t watch the news, and I have different news which doesn’t help. I’d have thought you meant in the world and generally whats happening in the worlk is more entertaining, oooh NCIS just started

  12. As long as you’ve been repentant since 2000, I can forgive you.

    By the way, I’m impressed on how you keep up with republican and democratic news. Reading your blog is like reading “The Economist”, only funnier. I feel better informed as a result.
    .-= Theresa Milstein´s last blog ..Nana and Papa =-.

  13. Do the meerkats have birth certificates? You know, there’s a huge problem with undocumented meerkats sneaking into America to raid birdfeeders and pitch their own reality shows to the Discovery Channel, Animal Planet and MTV (soon to be MEERKAT TV).

    I’m concerned. If you see any meerkats in Texas, send them to Oklahoma wearing Texas A & M t-shirts. That will “solve” the meerkat problem in this country. Oh yeah.
    .-= V-Grrrl @ Compost Studios´s last blog ..February doldrums =-.

  14. I for one am very torn by this blog post. Torn because, I am not a big fan of President Obama, but now I learn he is actually a bunch of meerkats….and I love Meerkats. They have their own manor and this really cool exhibit at the zoo which is always surrounded by tortured artists with meerkat covered sketchbooks. I am really torn, y’all. I am not sure what to do. I really love those little rodents(sniff-sniff) and now I may have to turn my back on them. Damn you meerkats. Damn you.
    .-= Amy (aka TheMom)´s last blog ..Ice Skating, Sparkles and Bob Costas? =-.

  15. When i met The Spouse, he had the official portrait of (then) President Reagan and VP Bush (senior) on his wall. I thought he was joking. Turns out he wasn’t. But Iran-Contra broke his heart. He was a Hilary fan in the last election.

    P.S. George P Bush (the hottie nephew and son of JEB) stayed with us once for two weeks in Argentina. He really attractive, smart, and sweet as can be (read to my daughter). The Argentines were rather suspicious of him (he is rather dark complected) until they figured out who he was. That was sort of funny.
    .-= The Expatresse´s last blog ..I Can’t Get Over How Easy This Is =-.

  16. It’s a good thing Sarah Palin wasn’t around my house this weekend. We had a business associate and his wife over for some cocktails and I was talking about the dumbassness that is my dog, just general cocktail conversation and I said, “My dog is a gay retard.” (No offense to anyone, especially my dog, but she is. Facts are facts.) And as soon as those words flew out of my mouth, I remembered they have a Downs Syndrome child and I wished at that moment that a meerkat would have swallowed me whole if that is, in fact, what meerkats do. I have no idea.
    .-= joann mannix´s last blog ..A Fox Is A Fox Is A Fox =-.

  17. Ok..I totally think that comment 27 should get comment of the day. That is pure gold! If you don’t put it up, then I will put it up on my blog and it won’t be related to anything and then I might get taken away in a van driven by men in white coats which is NOT COOL because it is my daughter’s birthday and NO ONE should have mommy committed on their birthday.
    .-= melistress´s last blog ..In which I begin to lose my goddamned mind… =-.

  18. Actually, I can’t believe this !!!
    This column is really amazing!!——–it is really quite amazing that Sarah Palin is currently visiting me and we’re enjoying a lovely grilled meerkat.

    How did you know . . . you psychic or sumpthin’?
    . . .are you watching my house?
    WTF ?!??

  19. Oh Jenny, how could you? I’ll try to blame it on Texas… blame it all on Texas…
    .-= Bekka´s last blog ..Jewelry =-.

  20. My fave part of the whole “Sarah Palin is offended by ‘retards,’ the word, not the people” is the fact that she completely defended Rush Limbaugh’s repeated use of the word ‘retards.’ And she seemed so completely, girlishly charmed by him, so now all I can do is picture Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh on a date at a soda fountain, flirting and blushing over a shared milkshake and some tongue-in-cheek racist jokes.
    .-= Sarah P´s last blog ..Gettin’ Dirty at Church: Freaking Out the Methodists. =-.

  21. Yeah…I like to mess with my hubs too. But usually it is less political and more about what I’m not wearing. It’s mean, but so much more fun than admitting I’m in the same black track suit. Holly:)

  22. I’m jealous of Victor in some ways and yet I feel so very sorry for him (but only on Tuesdays or every third Wednesday). And, I realize in both instances it’s wrong on so many levels.

    pssssst…..don’t tell anyone but i heard our president is a black person and Palin has a book out or something.
    .-= Fivehead´s last blog ..Explain ‘dem bones, holy homey =-.

  23. my husband doesn’t call me when I am home anymore.

    Probably for that reason.

    He emails me instead, says ‘How you doin’?’ in the subject line and then nothing else. I let out a rant about washing powder or fucknuckles I met at the supermarket and he NEVER REPLIES!

    By then I have it all out of my system and I am a whole lot less crazier when he comes home.

    Wait! I think I am being played here… do not let Victor read this comment.

  24. First guns, and now you tell me you voted for Bush….curiouser and curiouser.
    I still love you.
    Your Canadian Friend.

  25. I’ll trade you husbands for a while if you want. Heath can see I’m not the only one like me and Victor can learn that “because it’s Wednesday” is a perfectly acceptable reason for wearing Daisy Dukes and a cowboy hat in the dead of winter.

    In all fairness, if I were American I probably would have voted for Bush in the first election, but that was during my “vote for whoever would look better on money” phase and sad as it is, Bush had Gore beat. That was NOT a good looking election.
    .-= Robynn´s last blog ..And so, I had Botox… =-.

  26. OMG, Comment 51. I have put my foot in my mouth many, many times, but I think that was the greatest oops of all time. OF ALL TIME.

  27. Is Victor actually paying attention to you at all?! I mean doesn’t he know what kind of conversation he’s going to have BEFORE he calls? What’s with the *sigh*? Maybe he knows, but just like, hopes or something. Seriously, you rock. I was LOL’in in the RL. He should learn to appreciate you keeping him up to date with the news and shit….saves him reading the paper! Now that’s love. x
    .-= Mesina´s last blog ..I totally ninja’d this post =-.

  28. “And, for becoming President of the United States of America despite being born a bunch of meerkats, the Nobel Peace prize goes to… Barack Obama”.
    .-= Stanley´s last blog ..Cock-a-doodle-do =-.

  29. I can’t wait for the birthday/anniversary/New Year’s/Tuesday when you and all of your commenting fans throw me that surprise party and I get to just roll around in the awesomeness of you all. I think that’s what heaven is like.

  30. If my wife would discuss Family Guy or Sarah Palin, I would probably call her more often. Unfortunately for me, she gets her news and current events from Entertainment Tonight.
    .-= Mo´s last blog ..An Open Letter to RDU =-.

  31. You know what I love? Blogs I can read.

    I can’t read this one any more. Who was it that decided grey, light grey, and even lighter grey would be trendy color schemes for type? I’d like to slap them. A lot.

    Bloggess, I love you dearly, but this can’t go on.

  32. Well, now I’m worried. Since we have a 5 year old, I travel with a plastic lizard and a meerkat in the oversized bag of doom, and whip them out to avoid spazziness in public places. Should I alert the Secret Service that I might have part of the POTUS in a grimy handbag? And when we play, “Pretend the lizard killed Hakuna Matata (what my stepdaughter calls him,” is that an act of sedition? And maybe we shouldn’t take the meerkat to Waffle House every weekend- our President deserves finer cuisine once in a while. The implications are making me need a vodka, and it’s only 10:30. Damn meerkats.

  33. If I could ask only one question it would have to be:
    Mr President, is that a meerkat in your pants or are you just excited about winning the Nobel prize?

  34. You are probably the first Bush-voting person I am going to declare my undying love for.

    p.s. To whoever out there reading this, if you think I may be your daughter-in-law… NO I am really NOT!
    .-= submom´s last blog ..Raising Boys =-.

  35. Well *of course* he heard all the Republican news earlier. We send all our news out via telepathy. He gets it downloaded at night while he sleeps. Like those tapes that help you stop smoking – but not like that at all – more like how to kill all the democrats. It’s pretty brilliant if you ask me.
    .-= MinivanSoapbox´s last blog ..Stop Punching Me =-.

  36. agreed tamela (comment #30). a hero has fallen.

    not really….i once voted for harry browne without knowing anything about him other than he would pay anyone $1 million dollars to shoot any dictator and kill them. and he was a libertarian. thought it sounded very forward thinking. altho, i’m not sure it was even true.

    what can i say? i just wanted to smoke dope all the time and he was a means to an end.

  37. well, you could have gotten a voice mail like the ones I usually get:
    “Dawn, Dad.”
    Which I think means I’m supposed to call him back.
    Or the ones from HeMan Hubby:
    “Just saying hi.”
    Then he doesn’t actually say Hi!
    Maybe because neither one of them actually wants to hear what I have to say…
    Guess they both know me pretty well too… kinda like Victor knows when NOT to call back:)
    .-= Dawn´s last blog ..Life is like a box of chocolates…. and my kids ate all mine! (it’s a competitive thing) =-.

  38. Hey There…Im following from Tiffany…..looking forward to reading more…I also love hanging up on the hubs..it makes me feel better and keeps him on his toes….

  39. This just in: The actress who played the cartoon character has Down’s too. And says that Sarah Palin has no sense of humor.

    That is far better than any snatchy retort I could come up with.

  40. Just gotta say that it’s not really a “Republican” thing to be a so-called “birther” – it’s a wacko-nut-job thing. Yes, I realize you are just being funny and you’re not trying to get into some kind of political debate – neither am I. Trust me!

  41. You should probably have some sort of warning on your blog that it is not the best idea to read it in a quiet waiting room. By the time they called me back, I had tears running down my face from holding my laughter in. Did you know silent laughing makes you cry? Weird. Anyway, they were all being super nice to me, like “oh, poor crazy girl that was crying in the waiting room”. I didn’t want to spoil it and tell them I wasn’t actually, like, sad. So I told them my dog died. I don’t even have a dog! Now I’m a crazy, dogless liar. Thaks for that.
    .-= Rachel´s last blog ..Things I am thinking about right now. =-.

  42. Well obviously he didn’t want to hear the “republican news” because there isn’t any. Just made up shit.
    So nice to see/hear/read whateverthefuck you get political.

    I donated by the way, and I love pimping for my blog, but that’s not why I did it. Hence. I’m telling you here.

    .-= Well Read Hostess´s last blog ..My Home and Native Land =-.

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