Yesterday I was sitting in the movie theater and one of the characters on the screen accidentally did some drugs and the guy behind me yelled out “Dude, you’re an idiot!”
At the screen, y’all.
And then I couldn’t stop giggling at the irony of the whole situation and I was all “Mother-of-God. I’ve gotta write this shit down” but I couldn’t find any paper so instead I just wrote “You’re an idiot” on my hand to remind myself to write about it later but then I thought that maybe I shouldn’t be so judgey because, yes, he’s the asshole who’s yelling at a movie screen but I’m the chick who just wrote “You’re an idiot” on her own hand just because some idiot yelled about someone else being an idiot and then I was all “Fuck. It’s like it’s contagious“. And then I went to Hailey’s school to pick her up and when I was signing her out the director was staring at my hand and I was all “Oh. That’s from a movie. It’s not like, a reminder or anything” and she nodded but not convincingly and then later I waved goodbye to Hailey’s teacher but I can’t remember if I waved at her with my “You’re an idiot” hand so now I don’t even know if I need to apologize to her or not. This is why you should probably only write notes to yourself on the inside of your thigh or on your armpit because then it’s hidden and also because when you’re in the shower and you go to shave you’ll see it and you’ll be all “Oh right, I do need to pick up some cat food today. Nice job, armpit.”
Comment of the day: My brother accidentally did drugs and woke up with “Kieth” tattooed on his chest. Not only was “Keith” spelled “Kieth” but his name is Bruce so that was weird when he got back to the military base. ~ ThePeachy1