Six years ago today.

in If I was a dog I'd be dead by now, more than meets the eye
Six years ago today.
And now we are six.

She shouldn’t be alive.  The first miscarriage should have killed me.  The second nearly did.  The third chipped away at what was left.

Four was always my lucky number.

She was born and everything that had been burned away in me started to grow again.  I gave her life, and then she gave me back mine.

Thank you, Hailey.  Your birthday is a celebration in ways you can’t possibly understand yet.  Thank you for living.

384 thoughts on “Six years ago today.”

Read comments below or add one.

  6. She is absolutely gorgeous! You are such a lucky lady to have such a special little girl. Happy Birthday, Hailey!

  13. She is so beautiful, in a completely non-pedophile way. Congrats!! Happy birthday, Hailey!!

  21. Hayley is my favorite kid of all the mommy bloggers, hands down. For girls. Finslippy’s kid for boys. Maybe they should get together–I bet they’d be unstoppable. And hilarious. Happy Birthday Hayley!!

  23. She shares a birthday with my #2 kid, who is smart, funny and very much his own person. (And also a one-year-clean cancer survivor this week!)

  25. She is adorable and I’m so, so glad she saved you. You have a gorgeous family and a fantastic brain. I’m really happy that you have a mini-you, so that future generations can experience your brand of awesome.

    Happy birthday, Hailey. Thanks for saving your mom, because she’s been able to bring a buttload of joy to thousands of people around the U.S. & the world. There is no doubt in my mind that you will be at least as awesome as your awesome mom.

    And happy rebirthday to you, Jenny.

  32. Hailey is the most wonderful child I don’t personally know. I love love love all your stories about/involving her and I hope this year will bring many many more!

  35. I know you already know … but your daughter is ADORABLE!! Her eyes are just amazing. They smile all on their own!

    Happy Birthday to her!
    ~RR

  40. Beautiful everything. You. She. Your words. The quiet celebration. Being alive.

    Happy birthday, Hailey. And happy birthday to you too m’lady.

  43. She’s a beautiful girl and what you’ve shared about her, she’s turning out to be quite the little person. Happy Birthday.

  45. good lord, woman. that just literally choked me up. sitting here at my desk, eating lunch. i literally choked and cried a little.
    beautiful. so so beautiful.
    (both of you.)

  48. I come here often, because you make me laugh harder than most others. Turns out, it only takes a paragraph for you to make my cry harder than most others, too.

    She’s beautiful. Happy birthday Hailey!

    Sara

  52. I read this and just started weeping. It wasn’t at all what I expected when I clicked on your tweet.
    I’m still coming to terms with my first. There aren’t words.

    And woman, are you wearing lipstick in that picture? In the pictures of me holding Bug, I am wearing blood. Further proof that you are not at all a mere mortal like the rest of us.

  54. Holy cow, you’re both incredibly beautiful. Your picture reminds me of those old ads where women look gorgeous even though they are washing dishes or mopping floors. You just need a set of pearls.

    My girls were easy from start to finish so I can’t fully appreciate what you went through and your gratitude for her but the fact that you acknowledge it makes you Mother Teresa’s understudy.

  62. I don’t like children at all – frankly I’m terrified of them – but you post had me close to tears … in my office, so, now I have to pretend I got something in my eye, so people won’t think I am crying at my desk.

    Happy Birthday to your daughter – and Happy Life to you both. (And I suppose, Victor too.)

  63. Happy birthday sweet girl! For your birthday your mom made a bunch of people on the internet cry. You’re totally worth it.

  64. WOW…how do you that?…you always have the exact words and images to make us readers feel (in my opinion) immediately in love with everythign you post! you have a BIG FAN of your blog here!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND GIRL POWER!!

  67. As being someone who recently had a miscarriage. This post is incredibly touching…and eloquent. Your daughter is ABSOLUTELY beautiful and has an incredible smile. Thank you for sharing and I am glad she was born as well.
    Happy birthday to you both!

  71. Beautiful, sweet post for a beautiful, sweet girl. Amazing how much she looks like you! Happy Birthday Hailey! My daughter gave me life, too. In a different way, but still.

    Now she’s trying to kill me by turning into a teenager.

  72. HAPPY BIRTHDAY Hailey!!!!!

    Seven is my lucky number, but since I was on the 2-for-1 plan and had my twins on the first try (yeah I had help from the miracle of modern medicine, but who’s counting?) let’s just pretend it’s one. Because I am not doing THAT 6 more times… and by THAT I mean IVF & pregnancy, not, you know, the other thing, which I have done WAY more than 6 times since the boys were born, although my husband might say not enough much more.

  74. Great stuff! My son just turned six in August and before and after him we lost pregnancies. He was diagnosed with cancer as an infant and has been getting chemotherapy ever since and what is truly remarkable is how painful those losses are to us as parents yet how transparent that pain is to those around us. With my son people know him, see him, love him, and fear for him losing his life. Our unborn children?? Not so much. It has highlighted for me in so many ways how many folks want everyone around them to rush past their pain – to return to who they ‘were’ – so that we fit back into their lives. Until they lose a pregnancy they have no idea the mark that leaves on your soul. Congratulations on your 6 year old! Congratulations on the courage, will, determination to continue trying!
    pat

  76. Oh, happy happy everything, Jenny. I am so glad. My youngest child literally saved my life when I couldn’t find my way back from a place similar to you. There is grace.

  77. You are both just lovely! Even the picture of you holding the baby – so beautiful it makes me sick. 😉 Enjoy the day. Both of you!

  78. I lost my first two pregnancies to miscarriage as well. The second was just two weeks before I became pregnant with my daughter, who just turned 5 last week. If I hadn’t suffered that loss, I wouldn’t have her. I think about that from time to time.

    Happy, happy birthday to Miss Hailey!

  80. Jenny – As usual, your lips look absolutely perfect in that hospital shot. You sure you just had a kid? And happy birthday to Hailey.

  82. she is beautiful Jennifer, just like her mother. You should break out your kid pictures of when you were her age. You guys could be twins.

    have a good weekend

  86. Beautiful post, beautiful mother, beautiful little girl and oh my gosh – is that a sweet dress she’s wearing. How I miss my daughter being that age.

    3 was my lucky number.

    Happy Birthday to all of you.

  87. Dangit, lady, I come here to see a snarky, funny post & now I’m crying! Happy Birthday to both of you. Like many before me, I have one child out of 3 pregnancies. We are so lucky to have our kiddos. I try to remind myself of that when my son pees all over the toilet just to see what will happen (he’s 3.5). Btw, what happens is Mommy’s head explodes. He thinks it’s quite amusing.

  89. That is just beautiful! Happy Birthday Hailey! You are one very loved and beautiful little girl!! Congrats to you and Victor!

  90. SO. ADORABLE.

    Happy Birthday, Hailey! May you have lots of smiles, and always enjoy running barefoot through the grass. Cause that’s awesome on toes.

    Love from some goofball up in Minnesota.

  94. Jenny, I’m not shitting you when I say this: You look EXACTLY the same today as you did six years ago.. minus the “I just had a baby” part. It’s like you’ll never grow old!

    Happy birthday to your sweet little girl, and happy birthday to the renewal of your life.

  96. My best friend had three miscarriages and almost seven months of bed rest combined to bring her two sons into the world, and from supporting her through that, I have some small idea how hard it is, and how strong and fierce a love is required to pick yourself up and try again. Hailey is basking in that love now, and she will continue to blossom in it. You never cease to amaze us all with your wit, and your spunk, but most importantly, your determination to never let anything get in between you and what matters to you. Thank you!

  97. Happy Birthday! She looks like her mom! What a cutie pie — kind eyes, with just a hint of might-be-up-to-no-good.

  104. I think the picture of you right after giving birth is the most gorgeous photograph I’ve ever seen of anyone, ever. You are both so, so, so stunning.

  107. Wow. Thanks for havin a beautiful kid on my birthday! That’s prob why she’s so lucky. Haha.

  108. Happy Birthday Hailey! She’s a lucky girl to have a mom who loves her the way you do!

  110. Personally, I think she’s more lucky to have you as a mom, because of the way you love her.

  111. Being the mother of of a daughter myself I completely relate. She’s beautiful -and I think I see a corner of her mother’s sense of humor lurking in those eyes.

  115. Thank you for letting us share in the celebration, Jenny! Happy birthday Princess Hailey!!

    P.S. Tell your mom you want a pony for your birthday. It’s a rule that if you live in rural Texas, you have to have a pony. I wouldn’t fib to you. 🙂

  116. Happy Birthday to both of you. My miracle baby will turn 6 on Monday. I will never forget the doctors coming in to suggest to me that I “say goodbye” to my little boy a few hours before he was born. Hailey is a beautiful young lady. You have much to be proud of…

  123. Jenny, I love that you’ve shared a little bit of yourself (the special stuff) here with us. What an amazing story and girl.
    So happy for you, and Happy Birthday to Hailey!

  125. Mother daughter love is so, so deep. Gladdens my heart that you girls *have it*. Truly. Have it. My daughter and I do, as did Mother and I, as she and her mother. It’s a beautiful thing.

  126. She is gorgeous (and I can’t believe you looked so hot after just giving birth)! Happy Birthday Hailey!

    PS-Hopefully 4 is my lucky number too 😉

  132. Happy birthday Hailey! You have an adorable infectious smile and you look just like your mom. And happy “got your life back” birthday – to you Jenny. I love you more than could ever know. After all, you had a hand in me getting my life back 🙂 and I will be forever grateful. I should maybe put Hailey in my will now huh?

  137. Happy Birthday Hailey!

    Jenny, I am really starting to open my eyes that birthdays are just as much about the birthers as the birthed. Much love to you.

  138. Happy birthday to Hailey. And congratulations to Jenny and Victor, who are at least partially responsible for raising her up to be a fine, upstanding person.

    ~EdT.

  140. Her smile is spectacular, and that dress is divine. Happy Birthday, young one! (And happy birthday to you too, Mom)

  142. I’m hugging Monkey since I can’t hug the two of you. Happy Birthday Hailey! Happy birth day Jenny. Congratulations to all of you.

  143. I was the fifth and last attempt by my parents. Stories like this always break my heart yet give me the warm fuzzies at the same time. Congratulations to you and your family!

  145. I don’t think I’ve ever commented but today I had to – after I wiped the tears out of my eyes. I too have been pregnant three times and am currently expecting my fourth and I’m hoping and praying that four is my lucky number too.

    What a beautiful little girl and what a lucky mommy she has!

    Happy Birthday Haley!

  147. Six years ago was a very special day for me too. September 24th, 2004, I ate an entire meatloaf in one sitting. Thinking about it, I still get choked up. And hungry.

    And a little aroused.

  149. I was the sixth attempt by my parents, my brother was the seventh. It worries me for my own future and makes me not want to even try.

    Happy birthday, Hailey. You’re beautiful and we all know your mom loves you.

  150. beautiful birth picture (never understood how people manage that, I look like a truck just ran me over).

    your princess is beautiful, congratulations to both

  158. Happy Birthday, Hailey. Thank you for being a glorious point of joy and pride for your mom and dad. You’ve grown so much since I first “met” you and I see a beautiful young lady emerging from the little toddler.

  160. that touched my heart.

    and when she calls you a fucking bitch, you will remember that she is the miracle that lights up your life. And you will laugh.

  161. Oh Ms. Jenny, she is GORGEOUS (and so are you). Thank you for sharing a little piece of her loveliness with us in these great pics! Happy birthday to Hailey and happy birthing day to you!

  162. she’s gorgeous.

    a mama’s love is a wonderful thing. I hope one day my sweet girl understands my love for her, and gets to experience it for herself.

  165. Happy Birthday to you both!!! Victor is, indeed, a lucky man to have two such beautiful women in his life – as I’m sure he knows.

    Jenny: Thanks for being you, and sharing part of ‘you’ with us.

  166. Teary over here!!!

    Happy birthday lovely girl! And Bill from Poop & Boogies likes to say “Happy Mother’s Day” on kid’s birthdays because that is when we become a mother. I dig that.

  167. Awesome ! Happy Birthday Hailey ! My daughter is 21, and I still thank her for being the first thing I ever did right. Daughters are amazing.

  168. Happy Birthday Hailey. My kids made me 10,000 times cooler than I ever could be on my own. These days, I’m so hip, I have trouble seeing over my own pelvis.

  169. Oh happy day! I hope Hailey has a lovely birthday–and that you have a wonderful day too. You both deserve it!

  170. Oh My Goodness Jenny! Congratulations. Thank you, thank you, thank you for confiding in the whole world about the loss you suffered before you finally were gifted this beautiful child. I have suffered 3 miscarriages in the past 18 months – the first and last of which nearly killed me too. Perhaps I’m in a a parallel dimension to Jenny the Bloggess. I haven’t been gifted my princess yet but I hope and pray every day (especially as the last butcher doctor has left me officially infertile). I’ve been using humour (your humour) to cope. The fact you have suffered three losses and faced mortality Thank you for all of it. The laughs, the sense that someone our there understands my twisted take on the world and finally for revealing in the most uncanny timing, your pain. I know it’s too early in our relationship, but what the hell. Jenny, I think I love you. Yours sincerely, Anne.

  171. By saving you she saved so many other lives you were able to touch in the past six years.
    Happy Birthday to you, Hailey, and also to you, Jenny.

    Thank you both for being here.

  172. OK, back again, because my first comment was kinda glib and silly, because I always feel the pressure to be funny in my comments to you, oh funniest of women. But coming back to read again, I was struck by how sincere and moving this post is; and sorrowful, and joyous, and simple and beautiful. In a sparse ten sentences you paint such a rich picture of agony and ecstasy, life and death; you were hollowed out and then made whole again.

    You are so often the queen of (affectionate) snark, but here, now, you have made yourself vulnerable and shared something very, very real, and I want to honor that and thank you for trusting us with your honesty and gratitude. And your love, your deep, deep love for your lovely daughter. Thank you.

  174. Jenny, something went wrong in my comment… I didn’t mean to say thank you for you suffering three losses and facing mortality, the sentence isn’t finished, honest. That’s a rather mean sentence the way it’s left. I meant to say that the fact we have had a similar experience is ironic. Oh and Happy Birthday Hailey. And happy Mothers Day every day to you Jenny. Anne.

  176. Tears. I’m so happy for your family. Can’t imagine going through 3 miscarriages. You’re right, one almost killed me. I’m glad you stuck with it. She’s grand!

  177. God, you’re officially the most wonderful and beautiful human being on earth!!!!! Happy birthday Hailey! Here’s to more birthdays and many, many,MANY years to happiness and craziness to come.

  178. Jenny,how the hell did you look so great after giving birth?
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the Mini Bloggess.
    She is beautiful.

  180. To be honest, I usually don’t comment on random posts, but I just had to say–your daughter is absolutely gorgeous! Good job! 😛

  184. Happy Birthday Hailey!

    Jenny you look so beautiful in the top photo holding your little good luck charm.

    -H

  189. “The dream was always running ahead of me. To catch up, to live for a moment in unison with it, that was the miracle.” — Anais Nin

    What she said… and happy birthday to Hailey!

  192. Happy birthday darling, and happy daughter’s birthday Jenny *hugs*

    PS. You look totally hot in that top photo, yo 😀

  193. You are truly blessed. She is beautiful. And mostly, she has a mom who loves her, which is important in ways words can’t describe. Not all children are so lucky.

    Happy Birthday!

  198. Six years ago today my then boyfriend was breaking up with me on my golden birthday while we were naked in bed, five minutes after having had sex at his parents’ house where I was stuck for the whole weekend.

    You had a much better day than I did that day.

    Happy birthday, Hailey. I’m proud to share a birthday with you.

  206. ooh! how wonderful. being an adoptive mom (after 4 miscarriages—ugh. i can empathize with your pain) and looking at your beautiful 6 year old, I rejoice with you that ‘4 times a charm’! she is lovely and favors you greatly.

    enjoy the celebration!

  209. She is ridiculously adorable. I work at a toy store, so I know a cute kid when I see one.
    Happy Birthday, Hailey!
    Jenny, you’re a beautiful person, a wonderful mother, a talented writer, a thoughtful wife, and a badass beast. Keep it up.

  210. Your daughter is absolutely beautiful. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to suffer through 3 miscarriages, and it’s heart-warming (as much as I hate clichés like that, it’s true) to read that you kept trying and succeeded. Congratulations and a very happy birthday to Hailey!

    Also – those pictures of her are great!

  211. Happy Birthday to Hailey, you and Victor! What a smile-inducing story. May you all have many many more together.

  212. Interestingly, my daughter was born today, and we are lucky she is alive, too. Post Partum depression is very dangerous. Fortunately, when we went to “baby school”, the woman who taught us had suffered from it as well. I don’t really know what she said, but as soon as my wife started talking about it, I knew exactly what was happening. Anyhow… she’s 11 today.

    Hailey is cute… isn’t it great having the new camera – taking decent pics has been tons of fun for me.

    Happy birthday all!

  213. she is beautiful. happy birthday!
    (and to you too, mama. it’s amazing how your children’s birthdays are oh-so-important in so many more ways than you would have thought, huh?)

  218. I’ve been a lurker for a while, but I just had to say how touched I am by this post. Thank you, Jenny. And happy birthday, sweet Hailey.

  222. oh my, this one made me tear up something awful. happy birthday to hailey, and to you too! i’m so happy for you.

  224. Wow, that brought me to tears…happy birthday to your beautiful little girl…and many more to come.

  227. Somedays you make me laugh, somedays you make me cry (sometimes both at once – which usually makes my dog run out of the room). This post made me cry for its sheer openness and honesty. Happy birthday Hailey. Happy re-birth day Bloggess.

    *goes off in search of tissues*

  228. This post made me cry a little and think about a good friend of mine. I often send my friends the link to your blog. Most of them love it. The friend of mine who I will send it too right now had some issues with her lady bits a while ago. I hope this gives her hope.

    ILY!

  230. Happy Birthday, Hailey! So glad for you and Victor, Jenny, that you have this day to remember your fourth-time-is-a-charm little wonder. She really is gorgeous…and I would wager well worth the trials and the wait.

  232. So beautiful. She is your little spitting imagine isn’t she? I love the expression on your face in that first picture. It an expression like “Can you believe it? Look at this thing I did!”. Just beautiful.

  233. How sweet, our daughters share the same birthday. My daughter Paz Immanuela was also born 6 yrs ago today… we named her Paz (peace) because her father was in Iraq at that time, and Immanuela after my father (Manuel) who passed away the same month she was conceived, til this day I believe she is the spirit of my father reincarnated…. I would not have made it alone with 2 children helping my grieving mother n sisters that year had I not been able to look forward to my precious baby girl Paz…
    Happy Birthday Baby Girls!

  236. Holy cow! This is why I rarely comment – it takes far too long to get to the bottom of the list! 🙂

    Happy, happy birthday to your beautiful girl. I know how much you treasure her.

  239. Happy birthday, Hailey! Thank you so much for saving your mama. And by extension, me. If I hadn’t been able to click over here for some laughs during my second and third miscarriages, I’m not sure I’d be here today either. I hope my lucky number will be four, and I hope that child is every bit as beautiful and wonderful as you are.

  242. Happy Birthday to the both of you. To all three of you. She looks beautiful, just like her mom. Children. They suck the life right out of you and blow it back through you nose, and somehow it feels like the best thing that could happen to you. It’s a miracle. It really is. The best that happened to me.

  243. That was a beautiful post. Such an eloquent expression of love and the tenderness of motherhood. My physical heart literally felt squeezed when I read this, and then I went immediately into my kids rooms and kissed them. You have a beautiful little girl! Happy Birthday, Hailey.

  248. Like others, still sniffling. Happy birthday to Mom and daughter. In your just-after-birth picture you look radiant and so beautiful. Hailey is adorable and as glowing as her Mom. You guys did good work with her. I know how you feel about the miscarriages, and have my own grown-up savior to dote upon, and it’s wonderful. Enjoy every minute. Namaste.

  250. Happy birthday Spawn of the Bloggess! She’s adorable! Jenny, dude, did you Photoshop that top photo because NO ONE looks that good after giving birth. Except for you. Apparently.
    <3<3<3

  251. This made my heart just melt.
    What a beautiful daughter you have…a miracle indeed. 🙂
    Much happiness to your family on this most wonderful day!!
    xo’s

  252. I know every single other comment has said this, but still.

    This is beautiful.
    Happy Birthday Hailey, you have one awesome mom.

  256. Too bad she’s too young to realize what an amazing set of parents she has.

    On that note, if you’re interested in making your family any larger, I have a 7 year old boy and a 10 year old girl that are free to a good home.

    Actually, I’m pretty flexible on the ‘good home’ part. Let me know.

  262. She has the most beautiful, mischievous smile. She looks so much like you, it’s gorgeous.

    Happy Birthday to you, Hailey, and to you, Jenny. It seems like it was a birthday to you, too.

    Eat lots of cake.

  267. Oh Jenny, how wonderful. She is beautiful and looks just like you (right down to the mischievous sparkle in the eye). Hugs to you today. xoxoxo Christine

  271. Happy Hailey’s 6th Birthday to the three of you!

    She is a beautiful little girl with a radiant, delighted, smile.

    Congratulations to you and your husband on having such a cherished child.

  273. Congrats and Happy Celebrations of Life! Our little ones truly are miracles, and more often than we realize the road to getting them here is paved with pebbles and glass that have to be carefully tread on. But what am amazing journey!

  275. Ditto everything.

    She is beautiful and looks so much like her beautiful momma.

    Happy Happy Day.

  277. Whenever you post pictures of her, I can just see that she is so full of life and creativity…and she’s just…original. Very much her own person. That is so awesome.

  278. Your daughter is beautiful! As a mom, I get the “giving me back my life” as you so eloquently put it. I’m a better person and my life is so lovely as a result of my three children. But something I don’t get is how beautiful you look after giving birth with lipstick and everything. Now that’s a miracle!

  279. In the midst of all your entries that make me laugh for days,
    You always have these ones that just pull at my heart!
    Happy Birthday to your girl and thanks for another great entry.

  280. What a wonderfully happy face Hailey has! (but definitely not in an “ignorance is bliss” way) She must have some great parents!

  285. Congratulations, when I read about your Hailey, I think of my boy who turns 6 in a couple of weeks! So, well written, with all the love in your heart. Enjoy the day.
    Now lets get down to funny business, shall we? For some reason, I just think I need more of your nonsense, tantrum throwing self, rather than this sweet mother cuckoo who has possessed you for today..
    Well, maybe tomorrow might be my good day!
    Ok, ok, you know I am joking right?!

  286. Kids are beautiful in the simplicity of their love. Its unconditional and freeing, exactly the way love should be. Happy birthday to your angel, and happy day to you as well. =)

  290. Yes, she’s adorable, but what always strikes me in her photos is her obvious joy and the fact that she is clearly well loved. Good job, mama.

  293. Wow! She’s gorgeous. You are blessed. My relationship with my kids has been the best education on life I could ever hope for. I can feel your “beaming pride” and say…”keep beaming!”

    Thanks for sharing a little visual glimpse inside your life.
    Kim Bauer
    http://www.confabulicious.com

  298. I may have just cried a little. oh wait… nope. just splashed wine in my eye. it’s cool, we’re good here.

    Note to self: do not operate heavy machinery wine drinking from a dainty glass.

  299. I wish I had some witty fun loving comment on this one but in light of how flat out beautiful this whole case scenario is I can’t summon the snark.
    Life triumphs every fucking time.

  302. Thanks for making me cry, jerk. That was beautiful, and you have a beautiful, lovely little lady there. Happy birthday Hailey! And thanks for a beautiful post 🙂

  304. So this was technically two days ago, but a belated happy birthday to your beautiful daughter anyway. This post was very touching, and I hope that when Hailey gets older and goes through that rebellious phase, she’ll be able to see this blog entry and realize just how much her mother loves her. As children (even children who are of an adult age), we pretty much take our parents for granted most of the time. Thank you for sharing your love for your daughter with us, Jenny, and for reminding us of how humbling a mother’s love is.

  305. Amen, Thank you for living. I tell this to my kids every year. Bless you Jenny! You have a priceless treasure in Hailey! I’m so happy for you!
    I’m struggling a bit lately because my 11 yr old son, who has Aspie’s & ADD, is asking me if Jesus will send him to hell for commiting suicide. He’s so misunderstood at school & at his dad’s house, but I love him endlessly. He has me terrified and we’re going back to the counselors this week (if medicaid will cover it–here in Indiana) Needless to say, I’m scared to the bone & keep asking him about his feelings….he keeps asking me why I’m “sucking up” to him. BECAUSE HE MEANS THE UNIVERSE TO ME. Ugh, kids. Love them soooo much, but they know how to bring me to my knees. I’ll do whatever it takes, but I’m going to have to beg for help. ugh. My life would be empty without mine, I never knew what I wanted to be when I was little—except for being a MOM, as wonderful as MY MOM. I only hope I’m half as good.

    Bless you! And thank you HAILEY for being your mom’s greatest gift! You are wonderful & hilarious & beautiful! I think you may realize how awesome you are—when you have kids of your own..in 30 years. (at least!) lol.
    Love you Jenny! You are amazing, beautiful, hilarious & awesome as well! Thank you for posting this, it helped me today. 😉

  310. Happy Birthday, dear Hailey. What an extra-special little girl you are.

    The future is only half written, fate is only half clear. I was meant to be a mom, I was meant to have more children. I hope three will me my lucky number but maybe I have to stick it out till seven.
    This feeling you describe, this is how I look at my son: was he my shot in a million? Will I ever be able to give him a sibling? Looking at him, how I feel about him, I know it is worth the struggle.

  314. Happy Birthday Hailey…even tho I am couple days late! You almost share a birthday with me…mine is today.
    And Jenny…you made me cry. You and your family are truly beautiful people! I wish all the best!

  317. It’s very “phoenix rising from the ashes” reading your Blog entry today. I haven’t had a miscarriage, so I can’t understand that pain of loss. But I have lost people I’ve loved, and I know how the world seems a bit emptier each time someone we love leaves it. Then we have children and it adds this other person to the world that we love and that love dissembles and reshapes us. Happy Birthday, Hailey. Happy Rebirth, Jenny. You both deserve a big piece of cake today.

  318. I’ve had 3 miscarriages, never dared try for a fourth time. Today I was just reminded of what I regret most of my life… She’s a darling and I can see why your dry sense of humor does have hints of a happy life.

    Happy birthday to Hailey, a sweet little princess…

  323. Jenny,
    I haven’t been able to get these words out of my head all weekend. The loss of misscariage is not always understood unless you’ve been through it. I am so glad you got your beautiful daughter–yall are very luck to have each other. Happy Birthday, Hailey!!!

  328. Shit! You don’t look like you have aged a bit in 6 years. What’s in your water? Your daughter looks so much like you. What a beauty!

  331. Such a wonderful post. It made me tear up. Miscarriages are horrible and heart breaking. I can’t imagine going through three of them. Your daughter is beautiful. Happy birthday!

  332. Now look what you’ve done, you’re going to cry and then I’ll cry and then my dog will cry. She’s very emotional. Thank you for giving me hope and for sharing your life with us.

  336. That’s the loveliest child I’ve ever seen. I hope her entire life is as sweet as her smile.

  338. Jenny, you gave life to a beautiful little girl. Congratulations to both of you! Oh, and her little frock in these pictures is just too adorable!

  339. What a beautiful post, and a beautiful mother and daughter 🙂 Thank you for sharing so much of yourself.

  341. I do believe this is the second time I have cried reading your site…(1st time was Barnaby Jones – loss of a pet makes my heart ache…)

  343. Absolutely beautiful…your words, you and your precious daughter. So glad she gave you your life back so you can share it with us!

  345. She is so freaking adorable! It’s easy to see why you are head over heels about her! Your words were beautiful!

    Happy Birthday Hailey!

  347. Iiii love everything about this post. Only you could say it so simply but perfectly. I had no idea about the miscarriages. You are blessed, and Hailey is lucky to have such an awesome mom. Much love to you both!

  349. What a perfectly gorgeous dress. I’m jealous. I want one for my next birthday.

    Happy Birthday, Hailey. You are an amazing gift to your Momma. 🙂

  350. I began thanking my daughter for being such a delicious child when she was 2. I still say it and she is 29. It’s still true. Happy birthday lovely Hailey.

  351. Jenny you usually make me laugh uproariously at whatever scatterbrained thoughts that tumble out of your head, however this time you have outdone yourself, you made me smile through my tears.

    My daughter Tomika was born after 2 miscarriages, a burst Ovarian Cyst and a bout of Cervical Cancer (in remission, Thank… Whomever you like, God, Buddha, Batman…). I was told, by no less than 3 specialists, that I would NEVER have children.

    She is 13 now.

    She is My Light, My Love, My Miracle Child, and My Conscience all rolled up in a gorgeous blond-haired, blue-eyed package and I love her unconditionally.

    Thank you to the Hailey’s and Tomika’s of the World. We would be nothing without you.

  354. Jenny, she is such a beautiful little girl. When they become the child that almost never was, you end up loving them much more than they, or others, could comprehend. ?

  358. I loved reading this, it is a subtle reminder from the universe that although we recently lost our newborn son, we still have enough love in our hearts to try again. Thank you.

  359. Working on getting pregnant right now, and this totally just healed my stressed out, half-broken heart. It is starting to feel like I am swimming up stream with a pocket full of concrete but this post just stiched up my heart and injected it with hope. Thanks Jenny.

  360. You look gorgeous in that picture where you just gave birth! I can tell you just put lipstick on even in that black and white photo – you knew you’d be celebrating for years, right? And Hailey is beautiful in all her pictures, but especially that last one. Happy Sixth to both of you.

  363. Nawww I love her dress; I can’t imagine what it would be like to loose and unborn child you must have been brave to keep trying but I know that Hailey would have been worth it

  364. This one almost had me in tears. I miscarried last year. Five months pregnant now. So far so good. So, so glad you were blessed with Hailey, especially after what you must have gone through.

  369. Dude. I am crying now. My daughter is 13, and while we are heading into occasionally choppy waters, we are closer than ever. Hailey is a sweet little chickadee, and trust me, as good as it’s been, it will only get better.

  371. I know everyone’s saying this, but–you are an awesome Mom for getting your daughter that dress. I spent my whole childhood yearning for a dress that I’m pretty sure was that exact one. I never got it. The psychological consequences have been frightening.

  375. I love that you put lipstick on, immediately (before, or after?) giving birth. A gal after my own heart.

  376. I just noticed that your daughter’s birthday is September 24th, the same as my sister. My sister was born 2 1/2 years after a my mother suffered a miscarriage that nearly killed her and was supposed to leave her unable to have more children. September 24th is a day for miracle babies 🙂

  378. She is an absolute beauty! Congratulations to both of you.

    All we heard while Elisa was carrying Abby was how bad the pregnancy was and how many ways we were going to lose her. But I knew in my heart that my baby girl was going to be fine. I would talk to her every night in the womb and let her know that she was going to be ok. I cried when she came into this world and I still cry today just thinking about it. What an amazing gift they are!

    How to Make Homemade Baby Food

  380. Wow, this is such a beautiful blog! I find it so amazing that you can open up your heart like that.

    Four has always been my luck number, so i went back after reading this post because 24 is acutally my ultimate favourite number. and thought that maybe your daughters birthday was on 24th september. and i was like very unlikely….. Then i saw the date!! ha, it was pretty awesome. made my day :-)!

    She is beautiful by the way!!

    XoX

  382. Someone just recently told me about your blogs. I’ve been reading them no stop all week when I came across this one. Congrats on your little one. I had four miscarriages before I finally had a little one myself. Now I have two. Just wanted to share. Thanks

  384. Just came across this one tonight and boy did I need to see it. I’ve had three losses in the last year and a half…so I’m hoping four is also my lucky number!

Leave a Reply

MY BOOKS:


shop

Subscribe to the bloggess, y'all.

Enter your email address and receive notifications of new posts by email. It's like I'm stalking you, but more efficient.

Archives

MY INSTAGRAM

Victor said there was a life hack for removing these without scissors and I was like, “Yeah, I already know one” and now I’m bleeding.
Hailey wrote a 10 minute play for school called Happy Fun Times and it won the audience choice award last night! So proud of them.
My doctor is ghosting me.
May we all have as much joy as Dorothy Barker when the treat drawer opens.

ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:

I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:

Flourish in Progress: (T)hug Life: Part hood. Part good.

Pregnancy Calendar at Alpha Mom: Amalah’s week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it.

The Mack Files: Digesting life in bite-sized pieces through the lens of clichés, quotes & “truisms”.  Often irreverent, always honest.

Barking at the Moon: If your dog is your furry child, you will laugh out loud at Tracy Beckerman’s book about her family & a one-dog wrecking ball named Riley.

Game Night Kit: All-in-one classic card game kits make the perfect gift, but you’ll want them for yourself, too! Lets skip book club tonight, drink wine & play games instead ~time together is magic!

Kieran’s Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven.

Coolest American Stories 2023: If you want a book of unputdownable, unpretentious, full-length short stories, we got ya covered. Our 2022 volume went to a 3rd printing; readers are singing this volume’s praises, too.

Go Doc Yourself Podcast: When a good doc ends, the klatch begins… Join hosts, scientists, and friends, Erin McCourt and Erin McCartt in weekly documentary dissection.

Perfectionist Anonymous: Proudly serving unpolished working motherhood, with bipolar depression and hilarity on the side.

Active Voice Productions  made a cool little movie with a role they wanted The Bloggess for but instead got Bonnie Hunt. Seriously. That’s what happened.

Just Another Meat-Eating Dirtbag: A memoir: ‘A charming, often hilarious look at how love is actually the worst.’-Tom Hart, author of the NYT bestseller Rosalie Lighting

Scaredy Cat Travels: Traveling the world with the worst carry-on anxiety.

A Thousand Miles to Graceland by Kristen Mei Chase: The journey of a thousand miles begins with sequins and a beehive wig in this funny and tender novel about Mothers, daughters and the surprising power of Elvis.

Welcome to xanaru: A mostly funny blog about the quest for happiness through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing. Plus hand-painted, custom artwork on bags, jackets, backpacks & more.

The Feely Human Collective: A space for the big-hearted, the highly sensitive, the activists, meaning makers, and mental health advocates. A space to grow and grapple with the wonders of empathy, vulnerability, and emotional curiosity and be seen in all your beautiful wholeness.

Stix Yarn: We live in the beautiful mountains of Montana, sell gorgeous yarns and unique fabrics, and offer lots of opinions on the best ways to get the most out of said mountains, yarn, and fabric.

Quantum Possum: an inclusive, neurodivergence-affirming graphic novel taking readers on a wacky & frequently sidetracked adventure through Cosmic Bog, helping creatures in need and including everyone in the fun.

Acrylic Diva’s Online Painting Class: paint yourself happy from the comfort of your home. Stress free, easy art instruction with a seasoned professional artist. It’s the most fun you can have in your pajamas. Really.

Paris Writers: Join best-selling novelists Laurie Frankel, Ann Garvin, and Lauren Grodstein for a week of practical information – and inspiration! – in Paris this summer.

The Second: Colleen Burns Durda’s candid memoir about a suburban mom with a side hustle-she’s The Second Coming. Laugh, cry and learn how she copes with her bipolar diagnosis.

How the Hell Did I Not Know That?: Humorist Lucie Frost shares daily Instagram reels with learnings of the day—words, music, whatever–with plenty of laughs and all the curse words.

PillTimer: No ads, no tracking, no math; just simple, no-nonsense medicine tracking for iPhone and iPad.

Green Heart Guidance: Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., is an international psychic, intuitive and medium who helps people heal from physical, spiritual, emotional or sexual illnesses and traumas.

Thanks to Her: Finding Power and Inspiration in Your Family Photos Discover how American women (and your own relatives!) kicked ass between 1900-1950. Remember: Yes, she did … And so can you!

The Family Skeptical Podcast: We’re an atheist couple raising two children – we ask big questions, dissect weird parenting moments, and are jealous that our cats get so much sleep.