If I was a dog I’d be dead by now

I’m complicated so this post has two titles: “SO EXCITED TO BE SICK” and also “What to read in February”

You know how I’ve been feeling like shit lately and I’ve been that sort of exhausted that is either “definitely dying” or “clinically depressed” and I can’t make myself get up and my brain is a brick and I lay down on the floor and think, “if only I could stop breathing for a littleContinue reading “I’m complicated so this post has two titles: “SO EXCITED TO BE SICK” and also “What to read in February””

Spoiler: I probably didn’t inhale a bunch of arsenic yesterday and even if I did that’s probably not why I was in the hospital an hour later.

So yesterday I decided to do a game of “What is this and am I dying?” on instagram: (if you can’t see it here just click on “view on instagram”.) As always, the comments did not disappoint and I love all of you. Particularly the people who pointed out that it could be old cocaineContinue reading “Spoiler: I probably didn’t inhale a bunch of arsenic yesterday and even if I did that’s probably not why I was in the hospital an hour later.”

It’s been a weird week and it’s only Tuesday.

So Saturday we opened Nowhere Bookshop for the day and it was amazing because there were real live people in the store and my talented friend Heather Gauthier delivered a special giant celebratory painting with lots of amazing little hat-tips… …including this one hidden in the background which took me three minutes to figure outContinue reading “It’s been a weird week and it’s only Tuesday.”

I suspect my body is trying to do a murder on me and I don’t appreciate it.

So. Yesterday I felt a bit gross and headachey but I’ve had a cold for a week so I thought I was just normal sick and maybe I just needed to eat something, but then at dinner I ordered something but before it came I started feeling hot and cold and wrong and terrible andContinue reading “I suspect my body is trying to do a murder on me and I don’t appreciate it.”

I just want someone to tell me I’m okay.

So a few weeks ago I found a lump in my neck. I ignored it because that’s what I do but it’s gotten worse and now I can feel it when I swallow and when I breathe. I wake up coughing and choking. It doesn’t hurt. It’s just really uncomfortable. Like being lightly strangled byContinue reading “I just want someone to tell me I’m okay.”

Is this how it’s supposed to be?

Happiness. Every day I have it drilled in my head…figuratively. And now sort of literally. My 15th session of transcranial magnetic stimulation was yesterday. My 16th, 17th, 18th and 19th this week. Another 20 lay ahead. They still hurt a little, the magnets drilling and tapping so loudly I have to wear earplugs. MyContinue reading “Is this how it’s supposed to be?”