If I was a dog I’d be dead by now

It’s been a weird week and it’s only Tuesday.

So Saturday we opened Nowhere Bookshop for the day and it was amazing because there were real live people in the store and my talented friend Heather Gauthier delivered a special giant celebratory painting with lots of amazing little hat-tips… …including this one hidden in the background which took me three minutes to figure outContinue reading “It’s been a weird week and it’s only Tuesday.”

I suspect my body is trying to do a murder on me and I don’t appreciate it.

So. Yesterday I felt a bit gross and headachey but I’ve had a cold for a week so I thought I was just normal sick and maybe I just needed to eat something, but then at dinner I ordered something but before it came I started feeling hot and cold and wrong and terrible andContinue reading “I suspect my body is trying to do a murder on me and I don’t appreciate it.”

I just want someone to tell me I’m okay.

So a few weeks ago I found a lump in my neck. I ignored it because that’s what I do but it’s gotten worse and now I can feel it when I swallow and when I breathe. I wake up coughing and choking. It doesn’t hurt. It’s just really uncomfortable. Like being lightly strangled byContinue reading “I just want someone to tell me I’m okay.”

Is this how it’s supposed to be?

Happiness. Every day I have it drilled in my head…figuratively. And now sort of literally. My 15th session of transcranial magnetic stimulation was yesterday. My 16th, 17th, 18th and 19th this week. Another 20 lay ahead. They still hurt a little, the magnets drilling and tapping so loudly I have to wear earplugs. MyContinue reading “Is this how it’s supposed to be?”

I don’t even know how to spell the thing that I’m going to do to myself but I still feel good about it so don’t freak me out, okay?

So if you read here you already know that I deal with a host of mental issues and you can probably tell that it’s gotten a bit worse lately and that sucks. I go to sleep not knowing if I’ll wake up depressed or “normal” and when I do feel normal I’m so damn jealousContinue reading “I don’t even know how to spell the thing that I’m going to do to myself but I still feel good about it so don’t freak me out, okay?”

Ow.

I recovered from the flu (HELL YES) just in time to have debilitating lower back spasms (WTF?) and after a few days of pretending it wasn’t real I finally went to the doctor and she gave me muscle relaxers and made me go to a “sports therapy doctor” and that seemed weird because I don’tContinue reading “Ow.”