The recession comes to Texas

Today I’m leaving for a family vacation to Alaska.  I’ll be in and out, and posting whenever I can, but until then I leave you the picture I just took…

Scenes from the road:

Motherfucker. *Now* where am I supposed to get my furniture & ammo?

185 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Can we please be best friends?

    (Totally. ~Jenny)

    Nikki recently posted Santa Claus had a Drug Charge?.

  2. That’s nothing! I just moved from Tx. to Ar. I was driving and saw a goat with a sign tied around it’s neck… The sign said “Horse”. Some one was either really drunk or confused! lol

    Jenni Atnip recently posted Women of Faith....

  3. Dammit. I had a La-Z-Boy with dual armrest-mounted Uzis on layaway there. There goes my deposit.

    Daddy Scratches recently posted There’s a storm brewing … a storm of BLOGGING, that is! Yeah, baby! (Sorry; just trying to manufacture some excitement around here while I figure out what to do next.).

  4. 4
    Lori Collins

    I think I love you. Will you marry me? We can be sister wives!

  5. Same place as everyone else–Walmart!

  6. In the liquor store?


    EdT. recently posted A Fat-Head Proposal for Dealing With Childhood Obesity.

  7. You rock.

  8. In Warsaw, Indiana there is a store that’s named “Shoes, Taxes and More”. I never went in there (I can do my own taxes, thankyouverymuch) and I wear I size 12 narrow ladies shoe (clearly I assumed they would not carry THAT size shoe) but I often wondered about the “More”.

  9. i like to keep buckshot in the hidden drink compartment of my recliner sofa

    erin m recently posted Faiqa | Orlando Area Headshots / Simply Me Photographer.

  10. Furniture & ammo … definitely Lone Star style.

  11. It’s the end of the world as we know it. If I can’t get my ammo at the ole furniture store, the whole fucking world is coming to an end. You heard it here first.

  12. Buwahahahahahaha

    Mindy recently posted The (F) unemployment & Holly's Nectarine Salad.

  13. Love it! But the mom and pop lost out to the Wal Mart down the street; furniture, ammo and more! Enjoy Alaska, but you know you’re going to miss this 100*+ heat! 😉

  14. If you get to Anchorage, you must dine at Simon & Seafort’s. I’ve never eaten a meal there I didn’t love. If you’re staying at the Captain Cook, the halibut tacos are awesome. Enjoy Alaska! And be sure to take lots of pictures for us!

    Oh, and don’t get eaten by a bear.

    Eva recently posted The Cloud.

  15. Wave hi to Russia for me 😛

  16. I sense a prime investment opportunity for you and Victor.

  17. Give our regards to the Palins! And the bears… 🙂

    Joni recently posted It's a Jungle out here, Folks..

  18. And by prime I mean he will probably not want to do it, but you always have the best ideas and eventually, he has to come to realize that you are always a genius, no?

    Amanda recently posted What Happens in Vegas....

  19. There’s a place around here in western Massachusetts where you can get Polish pottery, kielbasa, and live bait. (On the other hand a friend gets organic free range eggs from her dry cleaner and her dentist).

  20. Look out Alaska! Jenny’s coming!
    Hide your taxidermied animals!

    Steph recently posted I Said Yes to the Dress. But Then I Regretted it and Cried Like a Baby..

  21. 21
    Kassie Weese

    Haha oh man! This reminds me of a store in a town close to me called Hussey’s! They sell, Groceries, used books, guns, ammo, hunting clothing, ANDDDDD (my favorite) wedding dresses! I’m sure I’m missing a few but you get the idea. Here is their website (yes, of course a little general store called Hussey’s would have a website)
    Enjoy 🙂

  22. How inconvenient.

  23. Why do I picture you coming home with the stuffed head of a bear you killed with your fists?
    p.s. Who will take care of Beyonce when you’re gone?

    Kathy recently posted Catholic Veil Fashionista.

  24. I wonder if they had a half-off sale. I’m sad that I missed it.

    Clarissa recently posted This is what's in my head right now....

  25. Is the building for lease, or is the furniture and ammo for lease? Also, if you lease bullets and shoot somebody ON ACCIDENT OBVIOUSLY PEOPLE, can you blame the store because they technically owned your bullets and quite possibly leased them with the intent of the bullets shooting someone someday? And also, what’s the point of leasing bullets? It’s not like anyone can use them again. And also-also, do I really want to lease a chair that somebody probably had a little fun on one Friday night? Or possibly five Friday nights. See? That’s the problem. History: Unclear. I want a furniturefax.

    Sandra Lina recently posted In which mommies have sex too. Except mine. Maybe..

  26. I always have to worry when a gun/ammo store goes out of business. If that guy couldn’t take on the foreclosure man, I don’t stand a chance.

    Of course, I’m in Alabama where we are notorious for our unlikely storefront combinations. I love to shop at Mike’s Ice Cream & Bait Shop.

    Lorca Damon recently posted Detective, The Perp Left The Victim’s Wallet Behind.

  27. “Same place as everyone else – Walmart!” ~ Good one Nota Supermom!

    Sarah recently posted More stealing: My trip to Cancun.

  28. A distant relative of Nostradamus, now a waterbed salesman at House Of Aquarius, said this was a sign of the apocalypse. I believe he’s got the gift given his success on scratch off lottery tickets.
    Get yo asses to church.

    Rene Foran recently posted It's Creative Tuesday! All flavors and push-ups too!.

  29. Good goddamn, I love the South. I’m from Arkansas. The town I grew up in had that sold live bait, ammo, liquor, boating supplies, and stamps. There was a church next door and a XXX bookstore just over the river.

    Chelsie recently posted Baked Creamy Chicken Taquitos.

  30. They should have also had bait and videos, maybe they could have made the business work. Diversify!

  31. In Florida I saw a bail bond office/ coffee shop – painted pink. It may be cultural because every American I’ve mentioned it to seems to think this is a) not an unreasonable combination and b) about what is expected in Florida.

  32. From a store in West Virginia, many years ago:

    Work Shoes

    Robert recently posted The World's Most Disorganized Sport.

  33. Does anyone see an Eddie Munster head in the trees there? Seriously, it’s probably a bird but it looks like something undead. Thank God we had that zombie drill!

  34. You’ve obviously never visited Shoes & Booze in Missouri. I’ll take your ammo and raise you hard liquor. Or both. Which would probably put you in Kansas.

  35. Well damn, that certainly sucks.

    Denise recently posted True Life: I’m a General Blogger!.

  36. Are you seriously coming to Alaska?! I live there/here! I hope you guys have fun, its a beautiful place with lots to do. Unless you hate nature, then you’re kind of screwed…

  37. 1. Are you driving to Alaska? If so, I’d suggest smoking better quality crack.

    2. Please, for the love of all humanity, tell us you packed a mini-Beyonce for photographing purposes.

    3. Have fun. Alaska is awesome!

  38. LOL – It could always be worse. You’d be surprised how many “normal” stores in virginia also sell…


    Really? You sell beer lottery tickets and dead fish?

    ShredderFeeder recently posted Interest….

  39. Taint nothin! Have you seen this: I wanna know how to grow an ammo bush.

    Heather recently posted Beautiful Life.

  40. Ha. I saw a sign the other day in front of a house (not even a shop or something) that said:

    PANTS $6.00

    I was mighty tempted to stop in and buy some.

    Kristen recently posted Who needs children? I got ‘em already..

  41. Enjoy Alaska. My daughter left the heat from Texas and went to Alaska for a vacation on Wednesday and the high yesterday was 52. Poor baby!

  42. Nothing says “I need an uzi” quite like a brand new Lazy Boy.

    KidLit recently posted Portrait of a Beautiful Bipolar Child.

  43. Perhaps a better store will move in. They may carry taxidermied animals, furniture (preferably made out of the taxidermied animals) liquor AND ammo…it is Texas after all. Not even a recession could mess with that!

    Lily Belle recently posted No good.....

  44. Gotta love Texas!!! Just like Kevin Fowler sings…”and the sign said ‘Beer Bait and Ammo’ yeah, you ask me they got it all!”

    whimzee recently posted Diagnosis: Finger-Tied.

  45. Lone Star Style Titty Bar waiting to happen.
    Same clientele.
    Same employees.

    T.C. Sprencel recently posted I’ll see your SlutWalk, and raise you a Dick.

  46. Perhaps the owners have teamed up with the taxidermy & cheese shop in Hudson, Wisconsin.

  47. Alaska! Visit the halibut capital of the world! I promise I won’t try to photobomb your picture of the giant fake halibut on the spit.

  48. Walmart!

    Tazer WP recently posted Friday “Fuck You”s, accolades, and more.

  49. there’s a store here in baton rouge that is a used bookstore/pharmacy. i guess the the idea is if you’re ashamed of your prescription med habit, you can buy a cheap book and hollow it out for drug-smuggling.

  50. The essentials, Jenny. The essentials.

    Kathleen Coffin recently posted Oxford Part 2.

  51. In Indiana, right next to the place that advertises “creative taxidermy”. Interestingly stuffed “once live” animals, furniture, ammo, all sold in places with large fake animals on display? I think you might call it, “the mall”.

  52. I once passed a sign in our ‘burb that said Beer, Lotto, Donuts. If it had said Mani/Pedis, I would never have to shop at another store again.

    Becky recently posted Real Food. It’s What’s for Dinner. Once a Year..

  53. Where are you visiting in Alaska?

  54. I’m laughing my ass off!!!

  55. Now I wish I had taken a pic of that live-bait vending machine I saw, to go with this. 🙂

  56. I wrote “Bon voyage, motherfucker” on a banana for you. That’s really going to confuse some people in a few hours.

    HNtG recently posted Top 10 Reasons I’m Excited for Star Wars: The Old Republic.

  57. You’re assuming that FURNITURE AMMO is an AND operator, and not a combination of the two. Either we’re talking about a couch that fires ammunition, or something much large that actually USES furniture AS ammunition. I’m thinking of a trebuchet or similar here. I’ve got a friend of a friend who’s launched flaming pianos into the desert with such a device, so perhaps “Furniture Ammo” is the bouncy castle of the ammunition world.

    Zen Render recently posted Coming back soon, gentle reader..

  58. @Melissa – It’s been way too long since I’ve seen one of those things. My town used to be full of them, then I leave and they decide to take all of them away. Kinda depressing.

    Teh Evil Penguin recently posted TEP on Stupidity.

  59. Jenny, Thank you for getting back to me! Am also on the road looking for ammo. Heidi (girltomom hooking is recession proof).


    Try Hussey’s in Windsor Maine: Guns, Wedding Gowns, Cold Beer.
    Their motto: “If we ain’t got it, you don’t need it”.

  61. When I lived in Dallas, we attended a wedding/guns n’ ammo show. It was delightful.

  62. Dude, only in Texas….makes me so proud to live here..haha

  63. Do you live in the Austin/Round Rock/Cedar Park area? I could swear I have seen that building before but it could have been something similar.

  64. My mom’s favorite store back home (in N. TX) is Lamps n’ Knives, because you always want to buy the two together!

  65. I know we had a lot of interesting places like this when I lived in Idaho Falls, but my favorite was always “House of Hose.” It just rolls off the tongue.

    Confirmed Spinster recently posted Shae, I Will Never Feed Your Daughter to a Giant Guinea Pig Again.

  66. I heard they moved down the street next to “Jose’s Bait & OBGYN”.

    Carri recently posted Dear Alison: HERE IS YOUR DRUNK VLOG.

  67. Well now, seriously! If you are going to be shootin’ you want to be in a comfortable recliner!

    Gigi recently posted A Simplistic View of Things....Or.....Only YOU, Corporate America (and everywhere else), can fix this economy - so DO something already!.

  68. Well, lone star style looks like it is going out of fashion. So many disappointed cowboys today.

    @OutofGoldStars recently posted you know when you don't know the lyrics so you just mmm-bop it?.

  69. Actually they are getting their furniture and ammo at the NEW LARGER LOCATION just down the road a bit.

  70. Ha! I just drove by there the other day! I laughed then, too 🙂

  71. Hmm.. we need to find out what happened to their stock. They may be ammo hidden IN the furniture!

    Julie E recently posted It's true. Sometimes you just have to write about silly shit and metal chickens!.

  72. Ask Beyonce. Rumor has it she has a stash for emergencies.

    Bodaciousboomer recently posted Do you really want to miss the attack of the Penisaurases?.

  73. I grew up near a store that advertised selling “fine art, firearms, and fresh eggs.” Needless to say, I was endlessly impressed with their jack-of-all-trades American initiative and finesse with alliteration. Until I drove by one day and saw a smaller sign for “Baby Kittens” in the window- I mean, if you’re going to go down that alliterative road, couldn’t you at least find some frogs or foxes to sell? Their lack of commitment shocks me to this day.

    Kinne recently posted Girl Crush: Stevie Nicks.

  74. u will just have to come to my neck of the woods where at our corner store you can pick up your: milk, bread, movies, smokes, liquor, ammo and the local hooker.

  75. Wisconsin has a little road side shop called “taxidermy and cheese.”

  76. Get your ammo here in Alaska. We have plenty. Plus bring a gun; you’ll need it for the bears. We don’t walk back and forth to the elementary school this time of year without a hand gun. And plenty of ammo. Welcome!

    Pauline recently posted Booty: The Captain Strikes Again.

  77. Travel safe!

    Teena in Toronto recently posted Saturday workout.

  78. In gatlinburg, TN, I once saw a store that said “Fudge Underwear”. Now, upon contemplation, I’m guessing they sell fudge AND underwear, but, then again, it is Gatlinburg, so it may just be fudge underwear. Which, I mean, ew. Or not. I can’t decide…

    Becky recently posted World Breastfeeding Week.

  79. Girl, everybody is packing heat in Alaska! I went with the pastors wife to take an older lady to the hospital and sitting there in the waiting room, she lifted the edge of her shirt & showed me her gun. I about dropped my teeth! Have fun in Alaska. You will love it, I promise. And watch out for moose. They run a lot faster than you think. Plus the bears are apparently very hungry this summer.

  80. My favourite roadside sign: “Avon Products/Chainsaw Sharpening”
    I assume the chainsaw is required to remove the cosmetics 🙂

  81. Driving through southern Kentucky this morning, I saw a street sign that said “Possum Hollow”. I immediately regretted not wearing my Daisy Dukes with the rope belt and handkerchief halter top.

    Kelly recently posted Dick Jokes and Hoarders.

  82. 82
    Our Lady of Discord

    There used to be a place on the Eastern Shore of MD (where I lived for three years) called the Bites Cafe. The sign said, “Coffee…breakfast…live bait”. I could just imagine what the clientele said to the man behind the counter: “I’ll have a cup of coffee and a cup of bloodworms…and don’t go gettin’ em mixed up…”

  83. My friends are in Alaska right now. If you meet John and Lee, say hello. They are a couple of fun fellas.

    Craftwhack recently posted To Wish You a Delightful Weekend.

  84. We already have lots of ammo and furniture. No need for more. Furniture that is. There is ALWAYS a need for more ammo.
    We store the ammo with the wine because that makes 2 out of 3 for the ATF!

    Mary recently posted Dinner Is Poured.

  85. This establishment must have been run very badly because no place that sells ammo EVER goes out of business. Maybe they were heavy on the furniture part.

    Mary recently posted Dinner Is Poured.

  86. Hey! I live in Alaska! I hope you have a great time and dry weather while you are here. What parts of our beautiful state will you be visiting?

  87. @zinnderson – I moved to Warsaw, Indiana in 2005 and just recently moved to Fort Wayne. When did this “Shoes, Taxes, and More” exist? My husband and I are completely perplexed that we lived in the same town as such an amazing monument as that and never knew about it!

  88. “That’s nothing! I just moved from Tx. to Ar. I was driving and saw a goat with a sign tied around it’s neck… The sign said “Horse”. Some one was either really drunk or confused! lol”

    Just a sign explaining why the goat’s voice sounded a little rough. Neighborly and helpful, that’s all.

  89. Oh no! PLEASE tell me they still have ride-thru liquor stores in Texas?!

    Cheryl M. recently posted 30 Day Blog Challenge – #6 30 Interesting Things About Me.

  90. Hee hee… I so laughed when I read that you were going to Alaska.. all I could think of was Sandra Bullock in “The Proposal” and how she said “Alaaaska-a” I could so hear you saying it like that! 🙂

    Hope you and your family have a wonderful vacation! Will miss your daily!

  91. Cheryl M. indeed they still do

  92. I always love when we drive by the “BYOB” strip club here in Texas.

    I can’t help but wonder if you have to bring your own booze or boobies.

  93. It’s precisely this reason I feel we miss out in England. It’s not so much that I’m pro guns… more pro furniture and ammo stores.

    Lisa recently posted For the record, I'd make a rubbish witness of murder. I'm far too lazy and sleepy to check if the kids dead..

  94. Reminds me of the Quihi Gun and Dance club west of San Antonio. I sure hope that place survived this recession.

  95. I’m pretty sure you’ll find plenty of stores carrying furniture and ammo in Alaska. In fact, with the exception of stores selling liquor and ammo, I’m fairly certain it will the most common retail structure.

  96. Furniture? No problem. Just kill and skin an elk. Each will make a complete living room ensemble.

    As for ammo, just hold up a TEA PARTY MEETING HERE, and charge a bullet per person cover charge.

    hogsatemysister recently posted Death and More Death in Waco.

  97. Wait, isn’t this where Mrs Enron was selling her “antiques” and stuff?

  98. I didnt know where else to put this link so I’m just gonna put it here and hope that her Royal Bloggess (that could actually sound like her royal bad ass too eh?)
    A museum, with cats, half of which are polydactyl cats, all of which have names that fit in with Jennys cat.

    Viva la difference!!

  99. well. yah. I forgot the actual link..grumble, mutter, mutter

  100. I’d heard you can get ammo in any store in Texas… That and stuffed ‘Jackalopes’!

  101. 101
    Erin in AK

    Ahhh, you’re coming north huh? Well, I just spent a lovely evening sitting outside by my firepit. In long pants, wool socks, and a fleece. At one point I considered getting a pair of gloves. If you’re coming to Fairbanks, give a holler, you too can come sit by the fire and lift a glass.

  102. Ha I grew up in Texas. Doesn’t surprise me one bit.

    Rachel recently posted We’re just a speck.

  103. Rumor has it, Mattress Mack is thinking of buying them out. They also serve BBQ

    Clark Kent's Lunchbox recently posted Summer's Over.

  104. I’m sure you’ll find another furniture/ammo store another few miles downt he road. No worries.

    If anyone’s interested you could read this post of mine: (mostly just the bottom part). As a Canadian I don’t fully understand the whole gun culture thing. Any insights would be welcome.

    Annadanna (from Canada) recently posted I'm basically your personal GPS device..

  105. It’s not really “out of business.” They just moved up the road to be closer to the liquor/jewelry/jerky store.

    Momma Teacher Lady recently posted Told You So. . . ..

  106. As some of your other commenters have pointed out, wtf? Are you really driving there? From the road sounds like you’re driving, but I can’t imagine that being worth it. Especially from Texas.

    Windsor Grace recently posted August Break Day 7: Teaching a cat a lesson.

  107. You will be missed. FYI – I have been sharing my daily giggle from you with my husband. I think he is a fan – probably doesn’t read at work…his buddies would give him all kinds of shit if they saw the pink screen.

  108. Also, not many folks know this, but Lone Star Style also was quite the emporium for a special kind of beef jerky. You would have to ask them at the counter, and they will pretend to not know what you’re talking about. It’s like how when I… my friends go to bodega’s in New York City and buy pot. You have to let them know you’re an OK hombre. So after you either show the shop owner, Randy your genitals or put a lit firecracker in your pants, Randy will lift the turnstile and allow you to come into the back room. And once you get back there, you are guaranteed for a treat. You see, Lone Star Style is the finest purveyor of gay beef jerky west of the Mississippi. That’s right beef jerky made from gay cows. In a red state, as you can imagine, those cows live in constant fear they will be found out and run out of town. So every gay cows dream is to one day, end up as some spiced dried meat at Randy’s fine, fine establishment.

    furiousball is not as cool as Heather recently posted canoe carnival and I enable a celebrity stalker for someone’s birthday.

  109. Once, in Wichita, I found a store that boasted “live bait and communion dresses”.

    Libby recently posted The Past Minute and a Half.

  110. You need MORE furniture and ammo? If anyone was going to be stocked up on on door-barring furniture and zombie skull-splitting ammo, I’d think it was you!

    SisterMerryHellish recently posted Pixellated Nostalgia.

  111. Best sign I ever saw years ago, in my home province of New Brunswick, Canada, at a country store in the middle of nowhere: “Congratulations to Earl M. on guessing the weight of the fish.”

  112. Walmart. They have everything. Except for vibrators. I checked. ZZZZZ.

    The Woman Formerly Known As Beautiful recently posted Onset of Stress-Related Butt Shingles at BlogHer 2011.

  113. Alaska is so beautiful…I’m sure you’ll have an amazing time there. I’m not sure why more stores don’t go with the furniture and ammo combo. It’s way more convenient for the busy shopper.

    jacqui recently posted Look What You’ve Done Now….

  114. That is SO funny. Make sure you make it to “Skinny Dicks Halfway Inn” outside Fairbanks 🙂

  115. You get *still* get it at our local liquor and taxidermy shop when you pop in for your lotto tix. Tell them Kris says “hey”…

  116. We drove by a place in NJ last spring selling,
    “Swimming Pools,
    Prom Dresses
    Night Crawlers”

  117. Have a great vacation! Mooses Tooth Pizza (Anchorage, AK) is THE BEST! If they could Fed-Ex some to the east coast I would be ecstatic!

  118. Furniture & ammo? Go down the street to the local Walmart and you will find it all and then some!

    Golda Smith recently posted Questions To Ask When Taking Your Child To The ER: Can I Have A Mimosa? Isn’t One Of Them.

  119. Lone Star Style: For when you got to shoot the shit out some bastard for screwin’ your common-law wife on your lucky futon.

    Allie recently posted How Can I Get My Boyfriend to Punch Me in the Face?.

  120. I have to start paying more attention to signs. I bet there’s some really good stuff out there. You have a good eye, obviously.

    Still giggling about the 5 foot metal chicken story.

  121. Okay I’m laughing. and I’m happy because I didn’t know ammo means ammunition…… now I know. I’m so Canadian.

    Robin recently posted More #augustbreak.

  122. When you get to Whitehorse stop in for coffee.

  123. Down in these here parts, Alabama, that is…we love a good one stop shop. My favorite? Betty’s Beauty Parlor & Chainsaw Repair in Birmingham.

  124. Hey I thought Canadians loved guns, Robin? Now I feel like my life was a lie.

    Tazer WP recently posted Household Chores for the Pet Owner’s Soul.

  125. Furniture and ammo, eh? I really belong in Texas with ya’ll.

    "Susan Says..." recently posted I'm Talking to the Mom in the Mirror.

  126. warning: i vacationed in juneau, ak 6 years ago from houston. never did make it back to houston…

  127. The fact that you snapped this pic really makes me happy. This is the kind of thing my husband gives me sideways glances about…

    Plus, I’m glad to see that stores like this exist outside of Kentucky. Not really surprised it’s in Texas, though.

  128. Somewhere in north Texas along highway 380, there is (or used to be) a sign that read:

    Child care

  129. Furniture and ammo lol…only one thing missing that would make it a Louisiana store…LIVE BAIT!

    Abby recently posted Rotten Eggs.

  130. 130
    Miss Elaine

    You are my new hero. I can’t believe you actually live in Austin as well as me! I keep having these daydreams of us sitting together; sipping Texas Martinis, planning world domination, but then I realize I would never recognize you even if I I did have the opportunity to bump into you around town as I tend to be too self-centered to notice my surroundings. Bah humbug.

  131. Of course. Because clearly the two go hand-in-hand.

    Maria@La_Piattini recently posted Too Fat Too Skinny.

  132. I just want to say, in a drawn-out breathy voice, “ALAHSSSSKAAAH.”
    Have a great trip.

    Johi recently posted Injuring myself without the fun of Adrenaline.

  133. Lucky for you ammo shops never go out of business here in AK. Just don’t tell anyone you’re from TX…people here kind of have a thing about making fun of Texans.

  134. Where in Alaska will you be going? (wait, does that sound too stalker-ish?) I live in Alaska, so if you need any good sight-seeing suggestions, just let me know! I hope you enjoy it up here!

    Nita recently posted Stingy Airlines and Running With Toddlers.

  135. man yo kids are ahead of the times in Texas- I didn’t even realize my furniture needed ammo.

    LA Juice recently posted Wearing Out your Welcome: Charlie Waffles Stylee.

  136. 136
    Lena Teegal

    I’m sure they shot up all the furniture. Drinking was involved.

  137. Did you check the luggage to make sure Victor didn’t bring Beyonce along?

  138. Well, fuck – that’s what I get for being away from the Intrewebz all weekend and just now getting caught up: Zen Render already made my comment for me. Pianos for those really big trebuchet, dollhouse chairs for slingshots – furniture ammo.

    Jami recently posted Sharing is caring.

  139. I live in Alaska and adore you. My husband Jerry does not get your humor, but he doesn’t really get mine either. But I TOTALLY get you! So if you are going to be anywhere on the Kenai Peninsula, say, Soldotna, Kenai, Homer, Sterling, Cooper Landing, Seward…. please email me so i can come and meet you. Maybe we can shop the Soldotna Salvation Army or Bishop’s Attic together for a Copernicus of my own. PLEASE! my friends would be so jealous that I got to meet you! (the metal chicken story is revisited many times.) My friend Dawn Walpole in NY even found a pint size version of Beyonce’ and made it her profile pic on FB.
    Anyhoo.. call me 907-252-7213.

  140. We have a ladies shoe store located right in front of the shooting range here. I figured that was so the women folk would have something to keep them entertained while the men folk shoot off their guns. (and I am NOT speaking medaphorically).

  141. When I lived in Florida there was a place that sold clothes, music, and gold teeth…AND they eventually started cutting hair there as well! Now that’s what I call one-stop shopping, ladies!

  142. I am sure you can find ammo and furniture together in Alaska! Just ask Sarah P. She’ll know…

  143. Enjoy Alaska! It’s a great time of year to go. I’m so many levels of jealous right now!

    Lorilei recently posted Star cake.

  144. Um, word to the wise from an Alaskan – this is far from the weirdest thing you are going to see! I look forward to seeing my beautiful (and extremely odd) state through your wonderful eyes. Enjoy!!! I do wish you were coming up to Fairbanks! Do let me know if you change your plans.

  145. Like the Tuxedo and Flag Shop in Pittsburgh PA. So random.

  146. Well, this is actually perfect because I have been looking for a place to store mine.

    Mommy Shorts recently posted 7 Blog-less Lessons Learned at BlogHer.

  147. That is too good. I am really curious to know where in Texas that photo was shot. – Suzie

  148. 148
    Stephanie Harper

    It has been a bit cool and wet up here (as usual). So pack sweaters. And not to worry, you can buy your guns, ammo, beer and eggs at most of the local supermarkets here in AK 🙂

  149. On my recent trip to Colorado, I found a tattoo/coffee shop. I’d expect something like that here in Tennessee but there?

    Midge recently posted Vacation Recap - Part 1.

  150. There is a store here a few hours away from me that sells both shoes and slab bacon. They’re pretty famous for both among the grandparent set in town. Although, it is Mississippi. I’m pretty sure selling ammo is a state requirement.

    Holly recently posted Why Affiliate Marketing is Like Captain Planet (And How We Can Help Each Other By Helping Ourselves).

  151. Finally I get to use the joke:

    “Hey. What happened to The Bloggess?”

    “I don’t know, but Alaska.”

    Thank you. I’ve been holding on to that one WAY too long.

    moooooog35 recently posted "I'm the King of the Two-Ply!".

  152. I went all the way to Texas back in June with my gal and the most interesting thing we saw was a t-shirt with a turtle on it saying, “Well, this is awkward.” I guess I should have ventured further outside of Austin city limits.

    Oh, wait, Chicken Shit Bingo. We went to that, which was really quite nifty.

  153. Really? Are you really going to Alaska? Did the Mormon gig get you invited to see Sarah Palin?

    I heard Alaska is really good for women. Or at least the selection is bigger. DO post lots of pics of stuffed animals. DON’T get attacked by any horny moose.

    wagthedad recently posted Lyme Disease: It’s Not Just For Limeys Anymore.

  154. hope you packed a raincoat. it. hasn’t. stopped. raining.

  155. Seriously, there has to be a place in Alaska:)

    allpointswhole recently posted The Daily Sweat: “I think I can, I think I can”.

  156. In Farmersville, Texas, there was a “strip mall” that sells “Guns, Doughnuts, and Child Care.”

    Aunt J-Me Says So! recently posted Try Something New TuesdayMaking Jam--08/09/2011.

  157. I thought you were getting your Ammo at that Guns and Liquor store…but then I remembered you moved…Damn!

    Jenn recently posted Hello Maryland – The Fairy Files.

  158. Two words, ya’ll: Craig’s List.

    I lived in AK for 18 months. It’s so pretty, untamed, and full of surly people. xoxo

    Chrissy recently posted their favorite.

  159. Remember – “Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms”should be the name of a convenience store chain, not a Federal agency.

  160. I think you need to past a photo of a big metal chicken into this . Actually, I’m envising a whole “where’s Beyonce now?” series….

  161. And really, I meant “paste” as in photoshop. not “past.”

  162. Only in Texas can you go shopping for a couch and an M-16 at the same shop!

    Rebel Chick Jenn recently posted Sunday Funday with Flip Flop Wines & Skinny Cocktails!.

  163. So, I just found your blog 4 days ago, and I’ve spent everyday since then reading all of your old blog posts. Needless to say, I haven’t done a fucking thing at work…the bad part is, no one really noticed.

  164. I just assumed that in Texas you can buy ammo in any kind of store. Now you are telling me they are only sold with furniture? What a rip-off!

    subWOW recently posted The Ice Cream Index.

  165. Where in Alaska? I’m a lifelong Alaskan. 🙂 Enjoy!

    Amber recently posted Ahhhhhhhh!!!.

  166. WalMart sells ammo. Just sayin’.

    Jami recently posted Sharing is caring.

  167. We had a baitshop/restaurant here where I live. The back corner of the baitshop was turned into a little restaurant. It had the best breakfast in town until the owner went to jail for turning his own electricity back on after it being turned off for non-payment.

  168. Guess “Wally World” is a good alternative. Here my smaaallll town we have a truck rental and sun tan establishment and a Canoe rental and UPS store. Just love those combo places!

  169. OH, almost forgot the best one. The county airport and bait store. Believe it. It’s true. Wish I had photos to share. Should get on that.

  170. have fun in Alaska!!

    Lizzie recently posted 30 Days About Me (Something I Hate).

  171. I’m not jealous, I’ve got puppy water… you heard right PUPPY WATER… if you don’t believe me check it out

    .. enjoy, I’m pretty sure alaska is going to bring back some pretty hilarious posts…

    angelica recently posted does New York make my butt look big?.

  172. I hope you have a wonderful family reunion! It’s raining a lot, but it’s still beautiful here in Alaska this time of year! 🙂

  173. Dear Jenny, Just so you know, you are now famous in Alaska as I shared your “Chicken” blog with all of the girls. It would be fun to meet you…my son owns two of the best restaurants in Anchorage…Hott Stixx and Hott Stixx downtown. So…now that you are famous…we would love to meet you! Alaska is incredible but can’t wait to hear the stories you’ll share about your adventures. Enjoy and get in touch if you find yourself in Anchorage. Vickie

  174. HA! Boy would you find a lot of signs to photograph here in southwestern Virginia~ It’s almost as entertaining as West Virginia!!

    Di recently posted Around The Pond (2nd and Last Edition).

  175. Perhaps it furniture that doubles as ammo, or furniture made of ammo. You’re gonna want to have furnished you’re house at this store when the zombie apocalypse comes.

  176. Looks like a good spot to put a chicken.

    Taren recently posted I figured out Where the Medulla Breast pump got it's name..

  177. I see your furniture and ammo and raise you catering and gun range.

  178. I just returned from visiting Texas, where I grew up. So hot, so poor, so in need of a little govt support to hang in there….yet from there emerges Perry. The sad irony….

    Shelley recently posted Welcome.

  179. A store sign in L.A.: Tortillas & Insurance

  180. Do you think we can coordinate your “vacations” with my “work from h*ll” weeks so they don’t correlate? I seriously need some of your sarcastic, hilarious wisdom and the old stuff just isn’t getting me through this week.

  181. I actually have some “insider” info that the top economists judge market trends based solely on furniture/ammo store sales.

    Dr. Cynicism recently posted One Word Caption.

  182. I bought an outdoor sofa at that store and the ammo came with it as a promotional treat. Now I sit outside in the morning and shoot game. And anything that annoys me. The neighbors aren’t too happy, but with food prices the way they are they don’t whine too much when I give them paper wrapped packages of venison, turkey or squirrel. At least that’s what I tell them is inside. I was really surprised with Mrs. Murphy when she told me that her collie Muffy, tasted like chicken.

    Richard W. Schlueter recently posted A Better Bumper Sticker.

  183. Jenny—have you ever looked yourself up on Don’t worry I haven’t looked you up—I don’t know what town you live in——I’m asking after having looked up myself, my husband, my kid, my parents, my neighbors, etc, etc, etc, It’s actually rather spooky how much they “knew” about me. But at least there’s a way to get them to delete your info from their site. It’s very clear that computer “cookies” get more action than we ever imagined. It’s also nice to know that they think my house is worth WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY more than it really is. I deleted myself and my husband before I realized it would have been a lot more fun to have “corrected” my info instead and told it to say things like I make $2650 a year and live in an $8,000,000 house and my religion is Hari Krishna and I collect “dead things” and cat testicles and art made of human snot. Anyway, look yourself up and have some fun with it, when you’re suffering from insomnia sometime! Love ya!

  184. Ha! I have loved that sign for as long as it’s been there. Drive by it about twice a year.
    There are two signs in Bandera that I plan on getting pictures of next time I’m through there—just as nonsensical as the one above. Gotta love Texas!

    CeeCee recently posted Silent Sunday.

  185. The problem was, they didn’t diversify enough. Now, if they had been selling bait and ice cream, too, they might have had a chance.

    Barbara recently posted Chill out, it’s only 140 characters.

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