And then the stars of Portlandia renewed my faith in America. Even though they might be Canadian. I should probably check Wikipedia.

So, this morning I got a follow-up email from Fred Armisen, telling me that they personally made sure that their legal department is now aware that they are just fine with sharing birds with the rest of America.  And this photo was attached. THIS is how you resolve a customer complaint:

Why, yes, that is Carrie and Fred holding my bag.

It’s also why I will be a fan of Portlandia, Fred, and Carrie for the rest of my damn life.

Confused?  Click here for the back-story.

PS.  Yes, you can buy that bag if you want it.  (Any profits will go to the Austin Pets Alive shelter.)

PPS.  True story:  Today I was at the craft store looking for things to put on the giant Marie Antoinette wig that I’m making, and the clerk helping me was like “Hmm…well, we could put a bird on it?”  Then I just nodded, and -with a small tear in my eye- I said, “Yes.  Yes we can put a bird on it.”

PPS.  You really should be watching this show:

213 thoughts on “And then the stars of Portlandia renewed my faith in America. Even though they might be Canadian. I should probably check Wikipedia.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. This is what made America great!

    I mean Canada.

    I mean Portlandia.

    I mean the internets.

    I mean, today, friggin everybody is great.

    So long as they put a bird on it.

    P.S. Does that bird have a bump?

  2. This is why lawyers could never be comedians.. they just don’t get humor or fans, for that matter. . Glad the stars told them to back off. I like them even more now!

  3. Love it!
    And I want to watch the show but I keep getting “An error occurred. Please try again later” message (but please don’t stress out about this — it’s probably Comcast. We pay like $350 a month or something for internet service, and can only actually get to a website like every 17th try. And yes, I could say that again without “like” but I don’t want to/I’m trying to appeal to the younger readers out there. Anyway, not very cost effective, if you ask me).
    So, can you provide a link/address so I can try to find it on youtube?

  4. I think that they actually took this photo within the last 24 hours. that’s totally our weather here in the good old town of Portlandia today. they were filming near our office on Tuesday!


    I look forward to buying this bag to support a good cause, and to tell everyone you CAN put bird on it!

  6. “Mettre un oiseau sur elle” would be a more appropriate phrase for Marie Antoinette….just saying….in case you are out and about ‘being’ Marie…..and you should probably add a “Y’all” at the end so no one confuses you with the real one….things didn’t turn out so well for her.

  7. OK – the way this issue was handled is so very right – it makes me a serious committed fan of the show even though I’ve not seen it yet… and I too do actually live in Portland, OR ….. I really should try to do something about that now I guess. Well done – all the way around!! (And congratulations on the fantastic bag!)

  8. I. LOVE. YOU.

    What channel is that show on cuz I dont have cable so I dont think im going to get to watch it….im bummed.

  9. Now… when something really awesome and cool happens… I’m going to say “Put a bird on it”. That’s right. Shut Up! Put a bird on it!

  10. Amazing. I love reading your stories because you are just so damn lucky with everything you do… Send some of that luck my way will you please? I could use it right about now…

  11. I am so glad they turned out to be normal people who don’t think they own all birds and word combinations on earth, because I started watching some of the you tube skits since you mentioned the show, and I really love them. I’d hate to have to boycott before I even got really into it.

  12. I’ve only seen an episode of Portlandia and didn’t have any idea what you were talking about. When I youtubed it, I found this gem:

  13. That lady looks like a lady from Portland that I don’t know very well. Either there’s some crazy pseudonym stuff going on, or maybe we should be on alert for clones.

    Maybe we should always be on alert for clones regardless.

  14. in the movie of your life the “yes, you can put a bird on it” should be the big heart-wrenching moment at the end of the 2nd act. not sure about the rest of it. guess we’ll just work from they and fill in the rest.

  15. I’ve been a fan of Fred’s without even realizing it until now.

    And now, seeing how they handled the egregious abuse of you by their legal department, I will be a fan of Portlandia as well.

  16. I am afraid to admit that I did not know about this show until the “Put a Bird on It” scandal occurred. I am definitely checking it out now! What a great end to the story!

  17. That is awesome!!<3 that they took the time to get things sorted out! We will definitely check the show out now too (we have a lot of friends that watch already) & I see those bags becoming gifts!

  18. Awesome. I believe they’re both FROM Portland, actually. See what the wikipedia says.

    I totally need to start blogging so I can get celebrities to do random shit for me. That rocks so hard.

  19. This makes me want to break into a museum of natural history and steal dodos for everyone. (Except I suck at that sort of thing, so never mind.)

    What doesn’t suck is you & Portlandia. Caws or squawks or something like that all around.

  20. Can you some how tie this ‘put a bird on it’ with Beyonce? Either the chicken to tie in with your blog, or the singer. You know should put a RING on it, but you know? A bird!

  21. I would have been sorely disappointed if Carrie Brownstein had stuck with the turdism that was the Portlandia legal team.

    I have to say, this is maybe the best news I’ve had all day. I will now put a buncha fricken birds on it.

  22. Hey! There’s my bridge in the background! (Great running/biking trail there. ‘Cause everyone here rides a bike. You think I’m joking.)

    Right on, Bloggess. Get your bird on. It.

  23. I’ve never heard of this show, and in fact, just promised my husband not to watch any new shows this season. But I will watch Portlandia for how awesome they are!!

  24. A friend next to my studio makes stuff- she sells stuff that she makes- she put cool birds on her stuff- and then PORTLANDIA put a bird on it- My friend had cancellation of her goods in shops in Portland after that. so, yeah, they pretty much made birds Hitleresque in popularity. My son is now living in Portland- he sees Fred shopping in the same Safeway, so much for dumpster diving lifestyle- Poser!
    (LOVE POrtlandia, btw, I inject it in my eye!)

  25. OK, so I just *had* to go and check iTunes out – sure enough, the show is there. Downloading the first episode to check it out.

    And now, you have a picture of Wil Wheaton collating paper, AND one of Fred Armisen holding your bag! Those PR pukes are going to be soooo jealous!


  26. Considering I had somehow never been aware of Portlandia, and now I’m dying to see it, I think they got some pretty cheap (free, if they didn’t have to pay for the damn lawyers to harrass you) publicity.

  27. So awesome that Fred & Carrie supported you! They have been filming all over my neighborhood and I wish they would just call me to be an extra already. I guess I’m not weird enough.

  28. Ok I had no interest in watching that show because they owned all the birds and refused to play nice and share. Now they have had a change of heart but I don’t want to watch that show cause they turn my stomach eating out of the dumpster which they do want to share. I’m thinking it’s a win, win for me.

  29. So I take it this Marie Antoinette wig is part of your Halloween costume?
    And yay for the Portlandia peeps being cool about the bag. Now zazzle just needs to get with the program.

  30. Another amazing Carrie Brownstein project on iTunes is Wild Flag. Holy crap am I glad that woman is playing the guitar again.

  31. In the span of the past few days I’ve gone from-
    What’s Portlandia?
    to –
    Portlandia sucks!
    and now –
    About to check out the show.

    Good move on their part, I suspect their ratings are about to go up.

  32. See Jen? THIS. This is why you can never stop writing this blog. Because I had a pretty crappy day and then I got to watch that Portlandia bit and now I have to go set my DVR for it because I am hooked. It’s like when I saw a bit of The Office online and I was IN LOVE and I kept raving about it on Facebook and such and couldn’t believe that the rest of the world wasn’t watching The Office, which, of course, THEY WERE, but I was too behind-the-times to realize it.

    I love how she “Ohh-uuh!”‘s all the time. Especially over the skeleton. That was just… awesome.

    Can’t wait to see your wig. Love how you just throw that in there.

  33. All of my co-workers and I have been monitoring this story closely. Then today Portlandia came and filmed in our office. In that picture they are right outside our building, how super strange!

  34. How do we know this wasn’t a brilliantly connived and executed marketing scheme? I had never heard of Portlandia before this. Are you a member of the Illuminati (or is Ferris Muller)?

  35. My faith in my beloved Portland is renewed! And the mayor didn’t even have to get involved! But he WOULDA if needed, I bet. I am so happy this all turned out well. As usual.

  36. Awesome! I love Portlandia, the bag, putting birds on things, and Fred, and Carrie. It’s so great to see that a bird was put on the whole situation. And there should definitely be a tear-stained bird on your Marie Antoinette wig.

  37. Hooray! Thank goodness common sense prevails! and now I’m going to have to watch Portlandia.

  38. THIS is why I suffer through the gray and rainys every year in Portland. Because here everyone is free to reduce/reuse/recycle/upcycle, to cycle and to put a bird on it, extinct or otherwise.

  39. Every time I think I should quit reading this blog cos I’m being corrupted and having a near occasion of sin, something amazing happens, like strange taxidermy or roosters or SNL stars carrying tote bags. With or without birds.

  40. so “Today I was at the craft store looking for things to put on the giant Marie Antoinette wig” eff that day in the life shit people always try to do – just give us a list of your typical day or running errands

  41. Just woke up, so I’m less clever than usual (which isn’t very clever at all), but that is amazingly awesome!

  42. This has warmed the cockles of my cold Pacific NW heart. When Fred and Carrie invite you to be a guest star on their show, you have an official invitation to stay at my house.

  43. Although I have never seen the show beyond the “put a bird on it” clip, (and now the dumpster diving clip)I am now a fan of Portlandia. Because they made our Bloggess teary eyed in a good way. Also, they have contributed to the growing awesome-possum-ness that is her celebrity photo collection.

    Hey, do you know what these tote bags would be awesome for? Carrying around a bunch of paper personally collated by Wil Wheaton!

  44. you know what I love about this? that of the 100 comments now posted, only two people remarked on the fact that you are making a giant Marie Antoinette wig… and even then – it wasn’t of the WTF nature. hilarious!

  45. O.M.G. Fred is already one of my favs SNL folks ever. This has got to be the coolest shit that’s happened to you…

    On second thought, I am not so sure this IS the coolest shit since so much cool shit happens to you. I want to be that bird in your wig!

  46. Now you’ve got to remake the “do not put a bird on it” bag! Maybe with a different disclaimer, but keep the concept!

  47. I am so very happy to see not only a happy ending to this saga, but a truly ginormous happy ending to this saga!!! If I hadn’t spent insanely ridiculous amount of $$$ on yarn and books and knitting needles and crochet hooks over the past week, I would buy one now. As it is, I have to bide my time for a bit. 😀

    I have to say that the ending here and the story about the motorcyclist rescued from under the burning car that hit him have made a warm, fuzzy ending to the week for me. (It also helps that Grandma has the kiddos for the weekend.)

  48. you know this show is totally going to win an Emmy or become the Mayor of somewhere now because of you.

    Put that the must say Wolverine and thankyou to Beyonce the chicken in their acceptance speech.

  49. And this? Right here? Is why I am proud to be from P-town. By the way, that’s my office building right over Carrie’s shoulder. Look closely and you’ll see me waving from the 23rd floor. Holla!

  50. Wait. . .hold the phone. . .did I just see a post that you are a Nathan Fillion fan too? Oh, sweet Baby Jesus on a taco I do believe we were separated at birth because that man is 31 flavors of yummy.

  51. Let’s keep it real. If they really, really wanted to resolve this customer complaint, they’d travel down Highway 290 in Dripping Springs, TX. Then they’d see a big ol’15 ft. Beyonce the Chicken staring down at’em.

    On the left when going south.

    Then they’d place that big ol’15 ft. Beyonce the Chicken somewhere in the background OF THE SHOW.

    And they’d be wearing a “Knock, Knock…” shirt while carrying a “Put a Bird on It” bag.

    And really…there is no end to this.

  52. Do read all the comments you get? Are you sick and tired of people telling you how much they love your sick, twisted humor and how awesome they think you are?

    Because I’m not going to comment if the answers are No & Yes.

  53. I read every single comment I get. But I suspect most of the people telling me I’m awesome are just my therapist trying to fix my low self-esteem using different names. Someone should get that woman a raise.

  54. Ok, Mousebart (comment #88), you stole my theory. As a marketer, I have to think that this was a completely labrynthian marketing ploy to get people (who, like myself, had never heard of Portlandia, but love the Bloggess) to now want to slavishly devote themselves to the show. The overcoming of negative emotion creates a much stronger bond. (Oh, and BTW, if you find this convincing, I am currently “in between opportunities”…).
    But really, I just put it down to the awesomeness of The Bloggess…. and the overwhelming human desire to put a bird on it, just in general…

  55. Wonderful!! They rock!!

    P.S. Do they know Nathan Fillion? Can they talk to him about the twine photo?

  56. 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

    1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and
    point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

    2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your

    3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

    4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it ” In”.

    5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has
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    6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write “For Smuggling

    7. Finish All Your sentences with “In Accordance With The

    8. Don’t use any punctuation marks.

    9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

    10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a
    serious face.

    11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is “To Go”.

    12. Sing Along At The Opera.

    13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don’t Rhyme?

    14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical
    Sounds All Day.

    15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party Because
    You’re Not In the Mood.

    16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name,
    Rock Bottom.

    17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream “I Won! I Won!”

    18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot,
    “Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!”

    19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, “Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.”

    20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

  57. less than usual snarky comment: i would expect nothing less from Fred Armisen et al. This is a man who makes his living with satire. He _should _ be paying attention.

    I love the picture; it’s worth a zillion words.

    Good for you, Bloggess, for taking down a little corner of the establishment!

  58. My husband and I once found a life-size plastic skeleton in a dumpster near our apartment. It was probably stolen from the local university and his legs were missing but we took him home anyway. We named him Jeeves. He usually stays in the closet until Halloween.

  59. FRED!!! ARMISEN! HOLDING YOUR BAG!!! I can’t even handle how awesome this is.

    I have at least a hundred small tears in my eyes right now. (And if my calculations are correct, each one is approximately 80 proof.)

  60. YAY!!!!!!!!

    I have been a slave to Portlandia since it’s premiere and I must say that Fred & Carrie truly are the COOLEST celebs ever! I am so glad they pulled through in the name of all that is holy and hipster…

    HUGS to Jenny, Fred, Carrie & the dodo!

    PS MUST SEE PICS OF Marie Antoniette Wig!!!

  61. That is fantastic!!! This is getting added to my Christmas list too:-) My list is becoming very long. Actions like this are slowly restoring my hoping in humanity!!

    Your the best,
    Purple Stinky Onion

  62. Out of curiosity – do only profits from the “approved” bag to go the shelter, or any of the bird bags? I love your big metal chicken one, but since I live right next to the fires, I’d love to help out and get a bag at the same time. 🙂

    (Just the approved one, but if it makes you feel any better I donated a ton to the volunteer firefighters fund and the Bastrop Fire Relief fund when the fires were at their worst and that all came out of my zazzle account. I don’t advertise it as such, but my zazzle account is the one I use for donating to the tons of charities people ask me about. Feels like free money so it’s easier to give away. ~ Jenny)

  63. Great… for the past few days, I’ve been putting birds on everything, as a gesture of solidarity and support for the Bloggess. Now there’s no need for this act of defiance. I mean, what’s the point of putting birds on stuff when it’s no longer a guerilla, grass-roots, possibly illegal, anti-establishment deed?

    Here’s something I learned, though: It’s amazing how many things have birds. You don’t notice them until you start looking, but people put birds all over the place!

  64. This is great and all that. I mean, you have done great things in the past week. But now tell us about the wig for god sake. Lots of pictures.

  65. At the end there was about 3 times more stuff outside the dumpster than was originally in it. Also, when he put that little shirt on and it gave him dinosaur arms, it was a pretty funny visual.

    That’s my story for today and I’m sticking with it.

  66. Class. Act. Way to go, Portlandia! You’ve definetly earned yourselves new fans, and proved your awesomeness by loving The Bloggess! Thank you for letting us put a bird on it!

  67. Ha! Just discovered your blog last week and have been following your “put a bird on it” saga. Love the moment in the craft store! Thanks for the giggles.

  68. Dear Bloggess: You are amazing and celebrities take pictures with your stuff and are cool with you and all you do. I will order your bag if you can answer a question: Is it big enough to fit my entire head, and will it muffle the sound of my screams of jealousy? Hugs, CBaudelaire

  69. Fantastic! Fred and Carrie are America’s first couple of cool — even if they aren’t a couple…and are possibly Canadian (I need to look it up). And “Portlandia” is the funniest show on television. If they can convince Martha Plimpton to do a cameo, it would be sublime (or in the spirit of the 90’s, it could be Nirvana).

  70. I was cool with watching the Portlandia clip until Carrie said the watermelon was okay except for the hair on it.

    I had to immediately shut it off for fear of suffocation due to my throat closing and gag reflex.

  71. I am equal parts in love with you and intimidated by your power. I think you may have single-handedly brought the Dodo back from extinction. With some help from Portlandia. And if *that* won’t make me put a bird on it, nothing will.

  72. Oh Mighty Bloggess,

    Knowing you are an aficianado of all things disturbing and odd, thought you might enjoy a little tango with Creepy Baby.

    Hope you dig it …

  73. I’m afraid of birds…like so afraid because they want to eat my face. Ask anyone who ends up at Union Station with me. The birds SWOOP and I SCREAM like a small child and run as fast as I can. People look at me as if I am crazy. So I will buy a bag…but it may sit in my closet, hidden in the back.

    But YAY for Portlandia and Canada and TheBloggess! Hazaa!

  74. That’s so awesome! This intriguing saga further reinforces my theory that celebrities are not nearly as douchetastic as their lawyers would have us believe.

    Speaking of lawyers, I watched both clips that you referenced, one on your site and on YouTube accessed via a link from your site, and both had advertisements for lawyers on them. Are those legal assholes still trying to tell you something?

  75. i hope your readers support the show because it’s friggin hilarious. also, Portlandia should pay you for all of this inadvertent advertising. or at least give you a cameo in one of the episodes. could be your next big career move… writing is SO over.

  76. I am not a fan of birds [cf. that fine documentary by Alfred Hitchcock entitled “The Birds”] but I would put a bird on it, for sure.

  77. We don’t get cool television here. I live in a state that doesn’t get Dr. Who but does get Reading Rainbow. I had no idea that show has been off the air for about five years because it still airs here.

  78. I can see my work building behind Fred and Carrie! Anywho, this is totally awesome, and makes me love both Portlandia and my new home that much more. I even signed up to be an extra! Maybe I’ll get to help put all the birds on all the things.

  79. Portlandia is awesome. Putting birds on it is awesome. Fred and Carrie are awesome. And you’re just simply the cat’s pajamas!!! Thank you for the laughs!

  80. I live in Portland and am so damn proud of it!

    (My bird supply is low, however, I do have a lot of slugs in the garden. Could that be catchy? “Put a slug on it”?
    Probably not.)

  81. Eeeep! I just want to put them in my pocket. And then make out with them. And then put them back in my pocket like nothing happened. It would be awkward for a moment, sure. But that’s a risk I’m willing to take.

  82. Fred and Carrie ARE awesome!! And they should use the bag on the show – that would be AWESOME-ER!! And Option Three gets my vote, by far!!

  83. OMG Patricia, Comment #129 – that is hysterical!! Especially #5 – I really wanna do that one!

  84. Saw Fred A. at the Westfal coffee shop yesterday after my run on the waterfront. Told him he was rad as shit for posing with your bag and he said to tell you ‘hi’. Much love from P-town, my dear.

  85. I really want a bag with a “big metal chicken” on it that says, “if you liked it, then you should have put a bird on it”. Please?

  86. WOW! Way to go! Maybe now Zazzle will lighten up a bit.

    I’m going to have to start watching Portlandia just because these Fred and Carrie are so cool they bought a bag. I hope they use it in the show before they auction it off!

  87. I once again am in awe of your awesomeness!! and as soon as payday hits will totally be buying the bag..bc Austin Pets Alive is fantastic <3 them. We are in Bastrop County, but clear of any fires, thank goodness..but the amount of pets that are still not reunited is so sad 🙁 Jenny,, you are AWESOME! <3

  88. Since this is a “comments” section and not a “long-winded pointless story” section, I won’t bore you with the details of how we ended up with Macaroons in our Bride of Frankenstein wigs, but here’s my vote for cookies in your Marie Antoinette wig.

  89. Great laugh video! I really love your blogs i really enjoy reading it and I love it very much. Portlandia actually is such a lovely place, I want to go there (OMG). Thanks for sharing this awesome video. This is my great laughter day!

  90. Awesome! Bag totally ordered, heh. It’s like ya made it just for me – I just got accepted into the volunteer FD by my house, I work with rescued animals virtually 24-7 (six foster kitties are my current “project” heh), AND I’ve got fairly strong opinions on copyrightishness stuff… have I mentioned that everything about this is awesome?

    Thanks for responding, and I can’t wait to get my bag! 🙂

  91. Faith renewed.

    Haven’t read all the comments, so this may have been previously noted…apologies in advance for any accidental unintended redundancy.

    Seems to me that there’s a spin-off here, where Beyonce does the Put A Ring On It dance but substitutes the word “bird” for “ring”. Of course, I’ve not seen the show you refer to (yet)…did they already do this? or should that be “dodo this?”

    I think this would be a huge hit with all the single birdies (all the single birdies)

    don’t pay me any attention….

    (And the Beyonce to whom I refer is the shiny, sexy one. Not the one who’s married to JayZ. Because that would undoubtedly raise the ire of lawyers. And I know how you hate when that happens.)

  92. Well, I can promise you that I’m not your therapist in disguise. You are awesome. I am amazed and inspired by you to not let The Crazy take me down. I’m going to make it my bitch let my crazy shine for all the world to see.

    And then, I’ll probably be in prison and I hear their wifi is iffy at best.

  93. Fred Armisen is now hotter than Nathan Fillion. Yes, I said it. No, put the twine away, Nathan, it’s too damn late. You had your chance. Kisses, Fred and Carrie. You are awesome and funny and deserve many fluffy rainbow-hued kittens frolicking at your feet.

  94. That’s classy! I never would have known about the show if it weren’t for this blog – and now I’ll check it out because I loves me some Fred. And because I might have a very minor tv addition. Like Lohan has a minor drinking problem.

  95. I live in Portland.
    I love Portlandia.
    I love you and your blog.
    I love Portland.
    I will ALWAYS put a bird on it.

  96. Wow, your life REALLY isn’t like other people’s lives. It is significantly more awesome. Well played, “Portlandia”.

  97. HI!!!!! Sorry, just really excited to tell you something about “Put a Bird On It” campaign…back story I work at Gap-I know your totally jealous but like most people it will pass, I am the lucky one that comes in at 5 am and unpacks the boxes of stuff-see jealousy all gone now huh?

    Well the “Fall Crap” has arrived and you can now “Put a bird on your ass!!!” or on your top part… or better yet you can drape yourself in all sorts of little birdes w/o getting pooped on….

    So I must say your “so in today” and that everyone should and can “Put a Bird On It”!!!!


  98. Another amazing Carrie Brownstein project on iTunes is Wild Flag. Thanks for sharing this awesome video. IT’S LIKELY.

  99. Portland puts birds on things. Seattle’s birds rule the sky! Up here we do things a little cooler (not cute) and faster (not feathery). They say, “You can put a bird on anything and call it art.” But PUT A PLANE ON IT, and it goes supersonic! Check out our website and Facebook page and see how we do things up here!

  100. Ohh this show is awesome squared. It’s not often I want to just sit down and watch an entire series on Netflix. This is one of them

  101. Wonderful points altogether, you simply gained a logo new reader. What would you suggest in regards to your publish that you simply made some days ago? Any sure?

  102. too bad Armisen is actually a douche bag in real life and is having fun getting you to publicize his show for him 🙂

  103. Just saw this today.. had to comment. Totally putting birds on EVERYTHING! Love them!!

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