These are just two of my favorite things

Today when I look out onto my backyard, this is the glorious sight that greets me.

For real, y’all.

WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE.

PS. I have the best husband ever.

PPS. I just realized that the PS might imply that my husband bought me a TARDIS, but no, of course he didn’t. What he did was not freak out when a giant package arrived at our door and I said “Oh, that’s probably the TARDIS I ordered since the pharmacy wouldn’t give me one for my birthday.” I mentioned it was way cheaper than Beyonce the giant metal chicken and he paled a little and walked away before I could mention that we also need new towels. Then I went off and carried a cardboard TARDIS all over our property to take pictures of it and Victor yelled “YOU KIDS GET OFF MY PROPERTY” in his most cantakerous-old-man voice. When I was done I left the TARDIS in front of his office window and made really loud TARDIS noises. Victor was on a conference call and was very unimpressed, but you can’t deter the furiously happy, Victor. Unless, that is, you go back in time and make me not buy a cardboard TARDIS. You’d need a real TARDIS to do that though. Which would be awesome and I would trade in my cardboard TARDIS for it in a heartbeat. So no matter what, I win. Which is only right since this is my birthday present to me. Happy late birthday, me.

Enjoy your time.

PPPS. I got cactus in my foot getting this picture. It’s not a great one but there’s no way I’m not linking to it since I suffering through cactus-foot for it.

PPPPS. If you don’t watch Doctor Who this whole post is probably very confusing. You should skip it.

PPPPPS. Victor: “That PPPPS. would probably be a lot more helpful if you go back and put it at the top.”

me:  “IF ONLY I HAD A TIME MACHINE.”

350 thoughts on “These are just two of my favorite things

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I’m going to be looking for hidden TARDIS in the Hill Country when we travel from now on. Ten kinds of awesome!

  2. I freaking LOVE it. Its way better than the giant hand made Dalek we decorated for Christmas and is still in our entry way!! Happy Belated Birthday to you!! I need to do something like this for my own damn self for my Birthday next year!

  3. Now I want a picture of Beyonce next to a dinosaur. Or riding a dinosaur…or maybe ending the world. She has the technology, where in time is she going to go????

  4. WOW, a lot can happen in a few weeks. I’ve been behind on my blog/Twitter reading, and the last time I checked you were saying something about never having seen Dr. Who. I yearn to know how you went from never having seen it to having a large iconic prop from the show in your back yard. Time to hit the archives…

  5. You’ve gone from “Doctor whaaaa?” to hosting a TARDIS in your backyard in record time. I’m thoroughly impressed, and just a bit jealous. “But Victor, it’s bigger on the inside…”

  6. Ah, I love the TARDIS, and must ask where you located it. I wake every morning and rush to my front windows hoping to see one out in my yard with a dashing 10th Doctor emerging from it, but alas, no such luck yet.

  7. I have a feeling living in your house is like living in every internet meme ever. Which is awesome.

  8. Where did you get that cardboard TARDIS?! I seriously need one…for my birthday…which isn’t until September, but whatever I can pretend.

  9. The Tardis is the perfect edition to your back yard! You should start giving guided tours of your collections. Beyonce and the Tardis in the backyard, the dollhouse in your attic. The various taxidermied creatures. People would pay money for that. You could give it to charity. Or just buy something new for your collection. Whatever works.

  10. Dear Jenny,

    Nothing witty this time…except I almost said i wanted your back yard…then realized that the internet would immediately become unforgiving and forget that you had a Tardis in your back yard if I did 😉

    Very awesome birthday purchase though. I always wondered why people did Garden Gnomes when they could totally do Beyonces and Tardis’ (is it…Tardi for plural?)

    Anyhow, it’s Friday the 13th. Have a great one!

    -Tony

  11. Fucking love Doctor Who. I am incredibly jealous that you have a TARDIS. It isn’t fair You already have Beyonce…

    Ok, I do have a TARDIS or 2 of my own, but they pale in comparison to your life-size version. One does hold tea though… Makes me feel a little bit Brit- ty.

    Cheers!

  12. That is completely, utterly, totally amazing. Now, not only am I asking for a Giant Metal Chicken for my birthday, but a TARDIS as well.

  13. I don’t watch Doctor Who, but I know enough people who do to get at least a small idea of how awesome that is.

    At the very least, it looks cool. And the cactus picture? Totally worth the pain.

  14. Ahh, if only you had a real TARDIS, then you could have saved yourself from cactus foot. Unless, it’s one of those things that simply cannot be changed. In that case you should just feel nice that your cactus foot was that important.

  15. Only you could locate a cardboard Tardis. You buy you the best birthday gifts. I shall now go and hum the Doctor Who theme song that will more than likely be playing in mah head for the remainder of the day.

  16. F*cking hell she’s got a TARDIS now! OK, where did you get it, it’s my birthday in June, know what to ask for now 🙂 Oh, was it expensive? (Need to know in advance if I have to sell the kids to get it)

  17. After a most horrible week this whole post made me so FURIOUSLY HAPPY! I can *totally* see Matt Smith bounding out of that TARDIS to have a very important chat with Beyonce, and it brings me nothing but joy.

  18. I love it! And the photos look incredible. My favorite Dr. Who was the crazy Tom Baker actor. I had such a crush on him as a tween (before they were called that). I’m currently Netflixing the second season with Rose as the traveller. It’s horribly addicting, and I fully intend to get all the way through five seasons during this long weekend.

    Thanks for the photos – love the idea!

  19. The only thing that could make you even more awesome was you becoming obsessed with the Doctor (because no one just ‘loves’ him…it’s either apathy or total obsession.)

  20. Balls. I’m going to have to start watching Dr. Who now after years of holding out because my manfriend tried to force it on me too early.

    The Dr. Who. Not other things.

    This is exactly why I’m not allowed to comment on blogs anymore…

  21. Having that Tardis in your backyard looks a lot like you have a porta-potty back there. I’m sure the neighbors are loving that you got Beyonce adequate facilities so she will stop using their yard.

  22. I can’t believe that Tardis is cardboard!

    Now you need a giant laminating machine so that the weather can’t hurt it.

  23. Nothing can top a Tardis, but my belated Christmas present to myself came in the mail last week: “Doctor Who: The Complete David Tennant Years.” It’s a 26-disc set of all three seasons, as well as all the specials. I likely will not leave my couch, ever again. Someone will find me dead thirty years from now, with the remote still clutched in my fist.

  24. That’s it. I am buying a TARDIS. I will no longer be thwarted by my husband. If Victor can handle it, so can he.

    If I come across a real one, I’ll let you know, and you can come up here and use it. But we’ll need to come up with some code words, because we can’t just be announcing that on blogs or tweets or emails… but what should our code be? “The chicken is in the box”? “Prepare for cactus injury?”

  25. I remember watching Dr Who with my Dad, when Tom Baker was the Dr. I haven’t seen it recently. But I could totally go for a Tardis of my own. And even a giant metal chicken. I wonder how my HOA would react to that.. Hmmmmm

  26. My neighbors are putting a second story on their house, and there’s a portapotty in the front yard for the construction workers. Every time I see it, I have the overwhelming urge to paint it blue, and put a little light on the top…. Now THAT would be useful in the back yard.

  27. Now you just need a visit from “The Doctor” – personally, I’d prefer him in the following order:
    David Tennant (sexy)
    Christopher Eccleston (moody & dark)
    Matt Smith (goofy)

    But this is a topic of much debate. Happy belated birthday. Now I know what JW can get me for my birthday/anniversary 😀

  28. At first I was offended and all like, “Jenny, seriously – we shouldn’t use the word “Tardis” to talk about … oh … wait” … and then I realized.

    So basically, sorry I judged you.

  29. I am so fucking jealous of your Tardis its ridiculous.
    I am only slightly less jealous of the fact that you can watch Doctor Who since they Nixed it off all our local channels.

  30. I noticed you haven’t reviewed the TARDIS on Amazon yet. I believe you should. I mean look at all the work you have done testing it out all over your yard. It’s even good for interrupting conference calls. People need to know these things before purchasing!

  31. You are so awesome!!! Right now I’m imagining The 10th Doctor’s face when he walks out of that TARDIS and sees Beyonce standing there. Copernicus should be there too.

    BTW, you’re the reason I started watching Doctor Who, my friends spent years trying to get me to start but after reading your tweets and posts about it, I decided that it was awesome enough to try. I spent 2 whole weeks watching all 6 seasons….and dreaming of TARDIS’s.

  32. That is some high quality cardboard! You could use a giant laminator or do what I would do and buy a gazillion rolls of clear box tape and laminate it with that. Cause I am cheap, I mean, awesome like that.

  33. Just out of curiosity, which Doctor got you hooked? I started watching the show with the 11th Doctor, but I can’t bring myself to watch the older ones yet.

  34. Awesome! Add me to the jealous pile! Who is your favorite Doctor? MIne is David Tennant. I want to lick each of his adorable freckles. Chris Eccleston is my second favorite.

  35. I saw your Doctor Who tweet when it first when by, and I thought, “Yup, that is EXACTLY how it works.” I ended up making a miniature 10th Doctor hybrid playset after watching the most recent five series. It has The Doctor, a dalek, a sonic screwdriver, and a TARDIS.

  36. Victor: If you really cared about your posse, you would have included a link to where they can buy cardboard TARDIX.

    Jenny: You’re not Victor.

    Me: Am too. Link to TARDICIDES NOW.

    Jenny: Victor would never call you a “posse”. And the plural of TARDIS is not TARDICIDES. You make it sound like a disease.

    Beyonce: I Am A Metal Chicken. U Link TARDII Now.

    Jenny:…

    TIME LORD?

    Jenny:…

    Psychic Octopus is the name of John Scalzi’s next band.

    (bans commenter)

  37. I know that Beyonce was purchased in lieu of towels, but I have to wonder if your obsession with towels is in any way linked to Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

  38. I have friends that made one out of plywood for a contest –it was nearly an exact replica. I would totally want one in my back yard but since I live in a climate with rain and snow, the cardboard version wouldn’t last very long–I would have to build a wood one. However have you seen the Tardis Corset?

  39. Jenny, for the love of all things unholy, PLEASE sell this as a poster in your shop. i would buy like ten of them. For serious.

  40. From the moment I first saw them, I thought a Dalek would make a PERFECT pasta drying rack. Just a thought.

  41. I actually Love the cactus-in-foot-linked-to-flickr-picture. Very fairytale-ish. Sometimes you gotta suffer to make great art!

    – Mia
    (Photographer who wishes she had a tardis, too)

  42. I am so jealous!!!!!!!!!!! I have Tardis envy <3 I also need towels, but if it came down to towels vs. Tardis, Tardis would win hands down (or double hearts-down, as it were)

  43. I don’t watch Dr. Who since I don’t have cable anymore, but I get the basic idea of it and that is one mighty fine Tardis ya got there, ma’am. If only Beyonce could get inside it and go visit her giant, metal, poultry family from the 1800’s. THAT, my dear, would be a sight to behold!

  44. VWOORPWOORPWOOP…..VWOOORPWOOORPWOOORP…

    It all starts with a cardboard TARDIS. Soon, you will have a sonic screwdriver collection. Just you wait.

  45. I like the cactus-foot picture. I think it was worth it. The TARDIS looks like it just kind of appeared there.

  46. This is the most fantastic thing I’ve ever seen! I showed my 9 year old and she is begging for one for her birthday! Thank you for sharing this post and I am as always in awe of your fabulousness.

  47. I showed this to my husband (huge Doctor Who fan) and his response was, “That’s not even the newest TARDIS.”

    *sigh*

    It’s still lovely.

  48. Well, word is Amy Pond’s character will be leaving the show… maybe Beyonce should be the Doctor’s new companion? We should start a twitter campaign… any suggestions on a good hashtag?

  49. There is absolutely nothing more awesome than a TARDIS and a giant metal chicken in the same yard. Unless, of course, that same yard were MY yard…because chickens that don’t take shit from anyone and come equipped with their own shivs are only slightly less bad-ass than big blue boxes of wibbley-wobbley, timey-wimey awesomeness. I tip my imaginary hat to you.

  50. My bet is your landscaping wishes IT could go back in time and remind you to not let it die.

    Related: this is wicked cool.

    Also related: now I want a cardboard Tardis too. I didn’t before but seeing it nestled in amongst your dead shrubs is giving me a longing that must be quenched.

    Also, also related: Your shrubs probably long to be quenched too. Texas heat and all. (How doth one kill cactus?)

  51. I realize the TARDIS is cardboard, but is there any chance I could move into it? I love your back yard. The chicken does not scare me.

    Um, Victor might.

  52. GLORIOUS.

    After your last post, I was certain that there’s some kind of Fight Club thing going on between us, where we are the same person and live two different lives. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking…

  53. oh.dear.time.lord. I NEED this!! You are so cool!!! Love the photos!!! Just sent my husband the amazon link to hint that I physically need this 🙂

  54. My husband has agreed to built me a life size TARDIS if I clean out the garage of all my shit. I really want the TARDIS but, really don’t want to clean so I decided to hire my 16 yr old nephew to clean up the garage. I have to say this is a win/win for me since I will be paying him with the $30 I have collected from the dryer that only could have fallen from my husband’s pocket.

  55. “you can’t deter the furiously happy”…..waiting for a chance to use that phrase….awesome!

  56. I need a TARDIS like that — I already have a big metal chicken named Britney 🙂 You can see her from the living room windows. Now I need an equally visible place to put a TARDIS where the children won’t wreck it…

  57. This is so timely… yesterday I saw a bumpersticker that said

    My other vehicle is a TARDIS

    And I had no fucking clue what they were talking about. Now I understand why it was funny. For this, I thank you.

  58. This is just a very excellent Amazon review:
    “The Tardis (BBC TV Series Doctor Who) Life-Size Standup Poster : got it about a week ago for my tween daughter who has just discovered and LOVES Dr. Who. She loves it. It is very detailed and high quality. Will probably get more.”
    Every household needs numerous TARDISES. TARDII? Either way, yes, you should probably get more.

  59. That is so cool. My first thought, before I even read the post, was to think “what a great birthday present”. I love it when I’m right. Now you need a life size cardboard cutout of one of the Doctors to place next to it. I have one of Hue from Star Trek (TNG). I’m happy to loan it to you, though it may cause some confusion.

  60. You should rent out your backyard for Travelling Red Dress photo shoots. You could donate the money for mental illness awareness, or something. I would totally sign up.

  61. I just started watching Dr. Who a few weeks ago because of the constant badgering…er, helpful recommendations of a bunch of friends. What a great show (I’m starting all the way at the beginning)! And to think I was jealous over someone’s TARDIS christmas tree ornament and crocheted Dalek…I think your cardboard TARDIS trumps the ornament. Also, I think this means I’ve been sucked into the whole Dr. Who phenomenon and will never find a way back out again, lol (not that I’m complaining). Great find!

  62. Can you send me a bigger picture of this I SOOO want to make this my Desktop Backgroud at work. LOVE IT!!!! your the best Jenny

  63. OH MY! Best new Background for my computer! Thank you so much for bring mirth and merriment into the day!

  64. This is the greatest photo of all time. Adding TARDIS to my Martin Luther King Day wishlist. People get gifts for that holiday right?

  65. I think you are my new hero.

    “Tune in next week, when the Time Lord faces his most deadly enemy yet….BEYONCE THE GIANT METAL CHICKEN!!!!”

  66. I’m so glad you started watching Dr. Who. You and Dr. Who – a magical combination!

    {Now I totally need to order me a Tardis}

  67. I am in the process of getting a “wrap printed” and plan on wrapping my refrigerator to make it look like a tardis.

  68. I live next door to a railroad track. For the most part, I don’t hear the trains — they’re quiet enough that they don’t really intrude on my day unless they blow the horn nearby.

    But there’s a certain kind of train or speed of train or something that makes some trains sound exactly like the TARDIS noise.

    Those, I notice.

  69. I now have a mental picture of archaeologists thousands of years from now unearthing your home and attempting to piece together our culture based on the contents.
    Hopefully you will get your fully functional Tardis so that you can go forward in time and explain each artifact to the puzzled scientists. Or just go and confuse them even more!
    Maybe we just need to put the entire Bloggess archive in a spaceship and shoot it into a very long elliptical orbit that will bring it back to Earth in a few thousand years to clear up any confusion.

  70. I’m convinced The Doctor never wants to visit Wisconsin. Except that I’m sure Gov. Walker is a Cyber Man. That’s the only explanation.

    I would love to have a key to the Tardis. Rose got one. Even Martha got one. I want one!

  71. Maybe Beyonce could travel in the tardis (I’m guessing this is what a tardis is on Dr Who? I’ve never watched it) to before the egg and we can finally have an answer to ‘what comes first the chicken or the egg?’ oh, but wait….isn’t Beyonce ACTUALLY a rooster? I’m more confused now than I was before. Oh, and congrats on the baby (Beyonce’s that is!)

  72. That is simply marvelous. Also, it looks like better material than cardboard, so huzzah for that! I imagine anything sturdier than cardboard would also be too heavy to easily move around for photoshoots anyway.

  73. Beyonce looks as if she is wondering where the Tardis might take her.

    Speaking of Beyonce, her inception on your site is one of the funniest things I have ever read and each time I weep and pee my pants. So, tonight I am going to read it to my new boyfriend, and if he doesn’t laugh, he has not passed this round of testing and I will dump him.

  74. Dang woman! If this is how enthusiastic you become about movies, I can’t wait to see what’s next. Tell me, what other classics have you not seen yet? This could be fun.

    How about A Clockwork Orange?

  75. Every time I see Beyonce the giant metal chicken I laugh. I referenced it yesterday & since husband didn’t know what I was talking to I made him read the story with me. A few hours later we argue over something stupid and he says “at least it’s not towels” which effectively ended the argument with my laughing to hard to stop.

  76. This is freaking amazing. All we have in our garden is a lifesized plastic snowman (which is kind of lame, because it’s Melbourne, so he’s just sitting in the middle of our half-dead lawn wondering why he hasn’t melted like a normal snowman). I wonder how much Amazon would charge to ship a cardboard TARDIS to Australia… *goes off to get Evil Plans notebook*

  77. Please ask Victor not to add a Stone Angel. Because that would give me nightmares. And I can’t imagine what it would do to you.

  78. I love that Beyonce seems a little amazed and slightly perturbed that the TARDIS has appeared in her territory. 😀

  79. My daughter got a sonic screwdriver (11th Doctor version) for Christmas but now she’s jealous that you have a Tardis.

  80. Beyonce as the next companion, yes?

    I’m envious of you. I got excited when I was opening my Christmas presents this year because I thought I’d gotten a life-sized cardboard TARDIS, but it was only a life-sized Tenth Doctor cutout. Not a bad runner-up though.

  81. My god woman! You are my new hero! Where the hell have I been??? Will you be my new best friend? iIwill bow to you. Not that you need any servants, looks like you have thousands of those already. I’m just saying.

  82. Now I want to buy a house, so that I can have a TARDIS in the backyard.

    Here’s a link to one of the writer’s of Doctor Who and he is peeking out of the real deal TARDIS. The picture didn’t used to be so cropped, you used to see alot more the it… but I’m still jealous.
    http://www.jamesmoran.blogspot.com/

  83. Admittedly, I haven’t read the other 178 comments yet, but what I want to know is…..have you heard anything from your HOA yet? Or your elderly neighbor?

  84. Ok, this has nothing to do with Tardis, but it is an incredible story of stolen rabbits (18 of them, and they are LIVING rabbits) that were dropped annonymously on the doorstep of a rabbit rights group (or something) and then they had to give the rabbits back and the rightful owner is the Portland Meat Collective. I couldn’t make this stuff up and if you don’t live in the Pacific Northwest this story has probably not reached you but it must be shared.

    http://www.pdxmeat.com/2012/01/13/case-of-the-missing-rabbits-day-five/

  85. there’s a shop down the street from my that has Beyonce’s twin brother, Heyonce out in front. i think of you and B every time i drive by. i want to buy him, but i just know my husband would rather we buy groceries instead of giant metal roosters. i love them both and will wave at Heyonce when i drive by him. i also hope Beyonce doesn’t go into the TARDIS and disappear on you.

    yours truly,
    susie

  86. omg. i fricking love you jenny. you are so awesome. i can’t believe you love dr. who too!! happy birthday!!

    (with a silver ribbon in my heart)

  87. You crack me up. But you’re right. lLife is about enjoying it. Living it to the fullest, and doing things that make you happy. It was a nice reminder to read you blog. Just need to find little ways to make me happy! : – )

  88. Oh my goodness, why did I not know this existed?! I’m totally buying one for my birthday!

  89. One of my friend’s email address is “takearideinmytardis@”(something).com. And she swore I needed to watch Dr. Who. I haven’t yet because I am terribly afraid that when I get hoooked, I will want to spend all my time catching up…are there enough hours in the day?

  90. what a great idea!! Now I know what I’m getting my step-daughter for her 18th birthday. She is such a Dr. Who fan. I used to be, back in the day. I’ve lost track, and don’t need one more show to be addicted to. This post made my day — I’ve been taking care of my 5 mos. old grandson and I needed a little levity. Thank you kind miss.

  91. I don’t want to make you sad, because everybody’s happy when you’re happy (except Victor), but won’t cardboard ruin in the rain? I think you better just go ahead and get the real thing. Sorry Victor.

  92. That looks so real. I looked it up on the internet. I want on now, but hubby would have a cow. Your husband is wonderful to let you have it. I love your metal chicken too. I just wish I could buy a real chicken. I would name it Jane. Now that the name Blue is in vogue now, I should get 2 chickens, to name one Blue cluck. Blue cluck would look wonderful next to my blue tardis.

  93. I wish I had a TARDIS so I go fly over to your house and give you a high five for awesomeness.

  94. Up until now, my day was pretty lousy. Your post totally fixed that! Where did you get that! I need to find one. Thanks Blogsess!

  95. I don’t watch the show (though after reading that link I now want to) and I totally loved this post. And I want to go buy some towels.

  96. I no lie bought a cardboard TARDIS at the mall a week before Christmas as an impulse buy. I told my husband, “At least it wasn’t a giant metal chicken. This time.” Now I think I need a Beyonce to go with the TARDIS in my living room…

  97. Is a giant metal badger is too pedestrian? I like the message it sends – can attack without provocation to back the hell off. And now thanks to you I am watching too much television.

  98. Sorry to continue my off topic topic, but my friend in Portland who happens to be connected to either the bunny rights group or the meat collective (I’m not sure which) needs to contact the good people at Portlandia because a “bunny rights activists vs. localvore cuniculturalists” (not my words) would make an awesome episode. It would also make an awesome tote bag. But mainly to people in Portland. No one else would get it. Unless it actually MAKES it onto Portlandia in which case it would also make sense to people who watch Portlandia. You might want to start designing the tote bag now. I’m pretty sure it’s the only way that Portlandia will pick up the story.

  99. My favorite thing about you today is that, even though I know next-to-nothing about Dr. Who, I still loved reading this post.

  100. I want one. I want a tardis. (And you totally gave me an idea. Which may be dangerous.) Also? Ever comment in here is awesome to the nth degree.

  101. Absolutely, without a doubt, the best backyard in the history of the universe.

    (And then I made the mistake of clicking the amazon link and discovering that the giant cardboard TARDIS is ONLY $44.95!!! Uh oh. I may have a small yard, but there’s plenty of room for a cardboard TARDIS in it…)

  102. Awesome! I totally thought that was 3D in the photo.

    If it wasn’t so large and probably hard to ship, I’d suggest starting a traveling tardis as an alternative to the red dress! I can think of so many of my friends who would love this!

    Thanks for sharing!

  103. BEST.SHIT.EVER!!! My birthday is in August, and I’m gonna start wishing for a TARDIS right NOW!!

  104. <3 I have no idea what a TARDIS is. I'm sure I could google it, but I have googled for far too many hours today and therefore I won't google it. Either way, I laughed and that is all that matters.

  105. I have never watched Dr. Who and therefore have no idea what a TARDIS is. However… the wiki link you supplied made up for my lack of knowledge and suddenly this post became much less confusing. It even made me laugh. Well done.

  106. I actually had to defer reading this post until my 11 year old daughter was out of the room. We LOVE Dr. Who, but she’s a FANATIC. Her 12th birthday is this coming Thursday and it’s ALL Dr. Who themed. She’s having a Union Jack cake with a TARDIS (that makes the actual TARDIS noises), the 10th Dr. (her favorite), Rose Tyler, K-9, a couple of cybermen and an Ood. OK, she doesn’t know about all the characters, I won them on eBay and am surprising her with them on her cake. I can’t WAIT to see her face!

    We may just need a giant cardboard TARDIS….

  107. Copying and pasting this part for EXTRA win:
    PPPPPS. Victor: “That PPPPS. would probably be a lot more helpful if you go back and put it at the top.”
    me: ”IF ONLY I HAD A TIME MACHINE.”

    And because it made me pee. in my pants.
    note to self: read jenny on toilet.

  108. Happy belated birthday Jenny! I love your blog! It has inspired me to recently start my own. I forgot how much I freakin’ LOVE to write, and how I’m actually not too shabby at it. I feel I grow a little smarter with each post — like I’m making up for the last several years of mind-dumbing corporate communication :o)

  109. I should also add that I bought this very TARDIS online for a friend in December 2010 because she was feeling low. Now her daughters rule the roost and refuse to let her play with it until she’s done certain things – oops :/

  110. I just have to say this is my first visit ever to your site, and I LOVE THAT PIC!

    I’m automatically a reader now because you love Doctor Who as well!

  111. Trying to picture The Doctor’s response upon landing and being greeted with “Knock knock, motherfucker.” I think this encounter would require the David Tennant incarnation.

  112. I am “FURIOUSLY HAPPY”….thank you! I thank God every day you are around to entertain me, lift my spirits, and make me do a spit take after reading your blog.

  113. Sigh. NOW you’ve done it. I’m gonna have to go watch all 70 seasons of Dr. Who so I can really appreciate this post. I hope it’s worth it.

  114. That is so spot on and brilliant. Only a mind like your could’ve pulled that off. Now, if you can just put Copernicus in the tardis with a bit o’tail showing. That would be heaven!

    I salute you, Bloggess!

  115. I want a TARDIS for my birthday too! *hoping one shows up on Sunday but I’ll take a Tennant or Eccleston Doctor – hell, I’d even settle for Smith!*

  116. This is awesome. I HAVE to get my husband one of these for his birthday. I only managed one of those little desktop USB huv tardises for Christmas. But I did get him a hand-knit to my specifications 4th Doctor scarf, too, which made up for it. I didn’t know they made FULL SIZE Tardises! Awesome.

  117. when you get your real tardis would come and get me and take me back to when you bought beyonce the metal chicken instead of towels so I can see Victor’s face when he answers the door? Pleeeeeeeeease!?! 😉

  118. You know how awesome you are right? I hope so, because you are awesome. As is Victor. We all need to find our own Victors. <3 Thanks for making my night!

  119. T.A.R.D.I.S. and Doctor Who are favorites in my house. Even the 3 and 2 yr old ask to watch Doctor Who (with discretion, of course).

  120. I am going to have to start watching this show, if it is interesting enough to make you start the towel argument again! I feel like I am missing out here!

  121. #203

    Put a bunny on it.

    (Fellow Portlander here. “Rabbit Liberator & The Meat Collective” shall be the name of my new band. Tuesdays at Doug Fir. Free bacon for all.)

  122. This post makes me so happy!
    I saw a tardis on the side of the road while driving to my studio once, I thought at first I was mistaken but on further investigation and consultation with a friend it was really there. It was outside an old weigh bridge, where there is always a handpainted sign that advertises the sale of worms but there is never anyone there to buy worms from. I could see no reason (except that it was fantastic) that there should be a tardis parked outside this little building. Next time I drove by it was gone!

  123. Yeah, if only you had a real TARDIS or some other time machine. Or a way to edit text on the internet, text that you already wrote. Perhaps through the use of some kind of keyboard. You could use software called a “browser”. I hear Microsoft has something on the boilerplate, but keep up with me because this is future technology FROM THE FUTURE.

    Which means you’d need a TARDIS to get to it.

    Curses! Foiled again!

  124. You do realize, of course, that now you’re going to have to buy a life size Matt Smith as Dr. Who cardboard cut out to go with your Tardis.

  125. My husband and I own a bar. In it, we have a life sized Alice from Twilight cardboard cut out,because in my husband’s head, she’s his real wife. We also have a life sized Joe Jonas cut out, because in real life, Joe Jonas and Alice from Twilight dated and I thought my husband needed to be put in his place with a serious does of reality.

    Somewhere along the way Joe Jonas ended up with a gas mask.

    Alice from Twilight is wearing a bib from Joe’s Crab Shack and a Sponge Bob party hat.

    I don’t know where the cardboard Tardis comes into play in this story, but I’m pretty sure a time machine is the next step…I just didn’t know it until now.

    Thank you.

  126. Buy a bunch of towels. Use said towels to decorate Victor’s office… liberally. Then write a post about towels. heh.

  127. This may well be my second favorite post. Which simply shows how much I like Dr. Who. Allons-y.

  128. i don’t know, that cactus in your foot shot looks like it could be FROM an episode of DW.
    also, you are my hero. which is a pretty scary thought… 😀
    Happy Birthday Jenny

  129. Do I score brownie points with you for getting to say that I saw Tom Baker in my town shopping? I mean he was in a real TARDIS. No he wasn’t the super hot Dr. Who,he was like a classic Dr. Who.

    I’ll shut up now this is getting un-freaking-cooler by the minute….*sigh*

  130. If someone who didn’t know you or read your blog walked through your house and yard, could you imagine what they would think? I think there heads would explode.
    I’d pay to watch that…

    Hugs to you!

  131. Perhaps Victor could use the Tardis to go back in time to that fateful day and just agree that you did need new towels.

  132. Happy late Birthday. Awesome present, go you! My friend found this awesome purse of etsy, but it’s like $250, so… we’ll see which anniversary I get it for, lol.

  133. It was inevitable that the TARDIS would unite the Doctor with something as cool as Beyonce seeing his affinity for bow ties and fezs.

  134. Thank you, thank you thank you! You just solved the problem of what to get for my husband’s birthday!

  135. love love love! my text tone is the TARDIS dematerializing and my ringtone is – d’uh – the Doctor Who theme. I’m a little obsessed. And my TARDIS is living in my spare bedroom with the sewing machine. 🙂

  136. oh. my. god. must. buy. cardboard. TARDIS. TODAY!!!!

    You are so inspiring and make me want to actually do the crazy shit i think about doing but never actually do because, well, maybe my balls aren’t big enough.

    new plan for 2012….purchase cardboard tardis, have bigger balls.

  137. That is all sorts of awesome. I’m trying to convince my husband, who is a lifelong fan of Doctor Who, that such a Tardis would look great in the corner of our dining room. I think I need to work on my skill of persuasion a bit more.

  138. Cardboard… does this mean it may not survive if it ever rains again? Or is it like the kind of cardboard that holds up in that sort of weather? OR… can it time shift back to when there was no rain whenever it does rain, so it’ll never get wet? These are the big questions, people!

  139. I don’t watch Dr Who and only just started reading this blog. However, “you had me at towels”! I love how funny your life is because my life could never be like that. I envy you and Beyonce-seriously! I also love the picture of the TARDIS. You rock.

  140. Oh my fucking god I am so envious . You have a fucking TARDIS in your back yard. If I had a back yard I would want one there, too. But a TARDIS in this small apartment? … Then again if I had a TARDIS, this apartment would no longer be small, right? Because there could be an infinite number of rooms inside. But then again, do I really want to keep an infinite amount of rooms tidy and clean? Does a TARDIS come with servants? Hmmm have to think about that.

  141. Omg! So freaking awesome! Also, if our husband’s are ever in the same room together the universe will implode and they will take over the world 😉

  142. And now I must go find instructions on how to build a faux tardis…because I think it would make an AWESOME storage/potting shed….

  143. JUST when I think there is no possible way to love you any more, your awesomeness only increases. I now want to stalk you.

    BTW, Thinkgeek is now selling plushie TARDISes and Daleks. Just so you know.

  144. I keep my chicken and my Tardis just inside my front door on an enclosed porch. Safe from the elements, but not the puzzled looks of people who come to the door. The UPS lady is used to me by now, but the pizza guy thinks I’m a bit odd.

  145. Sadly, I was never able to get ‘into’ Dr. Who.

    If only they had introduced the Beyonce character when I was younger.

    Would that I had a time machine.

    Wait.

  146. I’m so fucking jealous! And if I show this to my daughter she might come and steal it from you, so I won’t show her! 😉

    She did get a sonic screw driver from Santa for Christmas though.

  147. The chicken acquisition post is still one of my all time favorites! That TARDIS is beyond cool! Happy Belated Birthday. I think the tradition should just become buying your own gift for yourself every year.

  148. I realized today that one of my neighbors has a smaller version of Beyonce sitting on a stump in his yard. I’ve named it Blue Ivy, obviously.

  149. Yes! Only I want details, ’cause I have often looked at the life-size Tardis cardboard listing on ebay and thought and thought about it. Is it all four sides? Can you go inside? Is it really bigger on the inside? I have a dream of having my husband build me a Tardis potting shed (notice I say potting shed, it’s the Whovian anglophile in me). For right now though I have satisfied my Who-merchandise craving with an ALLONS-Y {} Decal on the minivan my aforementioned spouse made me get. For the third child that mysteriously joined our clan.
    It joins the stick family decal I threatened to get if he made me get a minivan.
    And the zoo and Children’s museum decals.
    Funny how irony turns into reality.

    As a first time commenter, I have also to say thank you Jenny. Thank you for being a voice, and saying it out loud.

    Saundra

  150. I LOVE IT!!! I am very jealous and understand your love of the TARDIS…I am such a Dr Who geek that I made a TARDIS dress for a comic con.

  151. When I was a student, we had in our house a half-sized TARDIS that we’d made ourselves. We’d built it as marketing for a student society. The sign on the door had, below the main text, some small print reading: “If you’re reading this to check whether the model is accurate, you really need to join the society.”

    I’m not sure what happened to the TARDIS when we graduated. None of us could bring ourselves to throw it away.

  152. A couple office friends have been reading your blog for a long time and I’ve been silently peeking in here and there and thoroughly enjoying myself.

    I absolutely love you, and I’m really glad that I’m finally tuning in… and wish I hadn’t been so behind the times lol 🙂

  153. Don’t worry if you look outside and find Beyonce and the Tardis gone. I’m sure Beyonce is just traveling back in time to kill Hitler. Or something…

  154. I’ll see your Tardis and raise it one washing machine portal. No seriously. Somewhere there is a fat man missing all his 3X shirts and wondering how he keeps finding sexy panties in his wash. This really has nothing to do with anything at all. I just wanted to bitch 🙂 you’rewelcome.

  155. I was not not surprised at all reading this this blog.. You always did! Your backyard rocks girl! Awesome!

  156. I just really wish I could have had a camera when I clicked on this post, to take a picture of my face, which was OMGing all over the place, and I made a really high-pitched squeal, at which all of the boys in my office rolled their eyes, because they are used to my nerd fan-girlness, but this took it to a whole new level. Because worlds collided. And nothing has been that great since they started making a Lego Star Wars. Just sayin.

  157. I applaud and envy you.

    I excitedly showed this to my friend, who introduced me to The Doctor, and she said, “Okay, that’s weird. Why would anyone put a TARDIS in their yard?”

    Her and I are no longer speaking.

  158. This is amazing. AMAZING. I want a yard TARDIS. A lot. A whole lot. Bonus point if Matt Smith is in it. Naked.

    Wait, what? Sorry, got sidetracked there…

  159. It’s just occurred to me that this would make an excellent starting point for some wicked Halloween decorations.

  160. LOVE DR. WHO! My love affair started in the 80’s when I was quarantined with the chicken pox. Dr. Who saved me from insanity. Sure, I was 7, but he relates to all ages 🙂

    To the Tardis!

  161. I laughed so hard at this when I thought you photo shopped in the Dr. Who Tardis and even harder when I read that you bought one! Happy Birthday!

  162. I love you. WIth all of my heart. (In a non threatening I wish you were my real-life friend kind of way.)

  163. Wow. I now both simultaneously love you passionately and hate you passionately. Being as, the instant I showed my boyfriend-person the lovely vision that is Beyonce, he decided that he must have one, and also that I am currently crocheting a TARDIS for him (not full-size, but oh yes it will open and the inside will look bigger than the outside) … *sigh*
    Yours in envy,
    Abbye

  164. I was sitting here reading posts. I opened up the picture where you got cactus in your foot. My husband walked past me. Then he stopped, turned around, leaned over the computer and said “What the heck are you looking at? It looks like Dr. Who or something.” I said “What ARE you talking about???”

    Then I closed the picture and read your PPPS.

    heh

  165. Our front door is blue and my fiance and I really want to paint it like the Tardis. However, we are renters and it is a metal door, so I don’t know if the owner of the house would be terribly pleased. If only I had a time machine to go back and NOT paint the door like the Tardis when we move out. Sigh.

  166. I am SO JEALOUS that you have a TARDIS! I have a USB hub that makes”the noise” when you plug something into it, and there’s a button that you can push to make “the noise” as well. I would stand behind my cardboard TARDIS, push the hub’s button, and giggle in nerdy self-satisfaction. That sounds dirty, and I so don’t mean it to be. Well, unless Matt Smith, David Tennant, or John Barrowman was with me behind the cardboard TARDIS. Hee hee… So glad you’ve discovered the awesomeness of Who. You’ll have to go back and start watching the older episodes. I’m partial to Patrick Troughton and Jon Pertwee.

  167. Hey! You want to catch up on ALL the Dr, Who episodes??

    SRS! EVERY. EPISODE. Hon, I’ve been watching it since 197-flappin’2 and this is GREAT. Daleks! Cybermen! MOAR!

  168. A real Tardis is second on my list for my Birthday/Christmas present. Only second because first, is a real Dalek (preferably dead) I thought it would sit just behind the front door of our house, so when unwanted salespeople arrived I could use my son’s voice distorter and exterminate the intruders. Of course, a real Tardis would be much more useful, because I need the extra space as our house is way too small for growing teenagers and I need the extra room.

  169. This is probably a really bad idea, but I recently discovered that you can actually get official TARDISes (and cybermen, and weeping angels, and daleks…): http://www.thisplanetearth.co.uk/main/index.html

    My fiancée found it, and it went a little bit like this (note: humphrey is our pet hedgehog):
    Her: http://www.thisplanetearth.co.uk/main/page3.html
    Me: Little one….
    Her: but it is a TARDIS!
    Me: for Humphrey?
    Her: Doctor McHumphrey?
    Her: travelling through time?
    Me: It may be a bit big for him.
    Me: Since when did Humphrey become a time travelling doctor?
    Her: um
    Me: since I found out you can buy licensed full-size TARDIS replicas?
    Her: it solves the problem of where I would keep all of my Doctor Who DVDs though!
    Me: Where would you put it?
    Her: in the garden where the BBQ used to be!
    Me: Oh dear.
    Her: see? because although the BBQ is there at the moment, once I have my TARDIS I can travel back in time and move it so that the BBQ is not there now!
    Her: (you may not want to see my eyes right now)

    Sometimes I wonder why I am often reminded her when reading your stories with Victor. Other times, I remember why.

  170. I hope you don’t mind but I am going to use this picture as one of my background
    pictures on my computer.

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