Wil Wheaton’s house, I AM IN YOU

in Random Crap

Victor and I are sitting in LAX, waiting for a plane that’s been delayed three times, but it doesn’t even matter because THIS HAPPENED:

The man deserves a damn standing ovation. He settled for a slow clap.

And then I thought that collating looked like fun and so I took over for a minute, and while I was distracted Wil Wheaton pulled out something amazing:

Seriously, y'all.

PS.  Victor said that “Wil Wheaton pulled out something” sounds sort of rude and lascivious so I offered to change it to “Wil Wheaton pulled something out of his drawers.”  Then Victor told me to forget it.  Because he’s unhelpful.

PPS.  Also, there were horses.  Me, Wil Wheaton, his lovely wife, Victor and ponies.  Also, a giant metal chicken.  It’s sort of a long story.  More later if I don’t get distracted by pretty, shiny things.

PPPS.  Did you know that in Pasadena you can buy anthropomorphic taxidermied bugs doing a tarot card reading?  Because you can.  Much to Victor’s chagrine.

462 thoughts on “Wil Wheaton’s house, I AM IN YOU”

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  4. That whole trip is made of pure AWESOME!!!!! Can’t wait to hear more about it.

  6. How wonderful! This gave me just the laugh I needed on a very dull day. I’m one of those sick people who enjoys other people’s happiness. 🙂

  7. So I was enjoying Wil Wheaton’s performance in Leverage, thinking about how I like him even more, knowing he will collate paper for you, and just when I think it can’t get better…he pulls out TWINE. Maybe God put him here so that we would believe in humanity again. Thank you Wil Wheaton. Thank you.

  9. OMG. Could your life be more whimsically amazing?! Unless you can learn to shit rainbows, I think no.

  11. If my husband truly loves me he will get me one of those bell jar diorama thingies. I should probably let him know that this is a measurement his love is now being judged by though.

  12. omg he really is the best guy ever isn’t he? I am so jealous

    (BTW this is probably why taxidermied crocodiles, and Wil Wheaton was featured in my dreams last night)

  14. Now Wil’s someone I love. And I honestly didn’t think I could possibly love him any more… and then there’s twine. Seriously.

  15. I don’t know who I’m more envious of, Wil Wheaton for spending time with you, or you for spending time with Wil Wheaton. It doesn’t matter, I’m going to act it all out with my action figures later. Especially the twine.

  16. How did this happen?! So incredible.
    We had an epic slow clap at our rehearsal dinner. Brings a tear to my eye.

  17. Jeez. I get so excited about twine I can’t even make a coherent comment. Anyways. Already a fan of Wil. This gives him a +20 to Awesomeness. That’s better, right?

  19. My heart just stopped a little. And then started again. And then stopped again a little.

    I think it’s because of this post.

    But it could also be some sort of panic attack. Because I get those now apparently.

  23. You are such a total lucky stiff! And I think Wil Wheaton must be one incredible guy to not only send you pictures, but have you over to his house. This is great testament to the power of internet communication. You have brought together a virtual ka’hal, community, that laughs, and when necessary cries together even if we never so much as shaken your hand. And Mr. Wheaton is the best possible running gag because it is abundantly clear that he laughs with us!

    From strength to strength, Jenny Bloggess!

  24. Oh man, that is so freaking awesome. What a guy! And what a lady you are. Two of my biggest inspirations in the same room together!

  29. The Wil Collating Paper page needs to be updated, you know, in case PR people aren’t satisfied with Wil collating paper. Don’t like it? BAM! A pic of Jenny collating paper while Wil Wheaton holds twine. A 2 for 1 Bloggess special.

  30. Victor should be getting the Idea about now, that Your ” I’m Famous on the Internet!” thing must really be True! Good going funny Lady! I look forward to your new book & hope you’ll send me an autographed bookplate, even though I bought an ebook!

  32. Oh, wait–it’s a dress, isn’t it. I’m a dope. I still love it!

    …I actually have a lot of reactions.

  37. And just when you think Wil Wheaton cant get anymore awesome, he magically makes twine appear whilst making collating paper fun. Its almost like he’s a wizard. Holy shit… I do believe he just might be. Maybe he was the inspiration for the whole fucking Harry Potter book series.

    MIND. FUCKING. BLOWN.

  42. MOST excellent. And…the taxidermied many-legged-creatures? VERY COOL. (they aren’t all bugs…some are arachnids…)

    You have the ability to see joy and beauty and hilarity where you are. If you EVER get to NC…look me up. Srsly.

  43. I am not sure who to be more envious of. . .of you meeting Wil Wheaton or of Wil meeting you!

  44. Bwahahahahaha! Ohh this is great.

    Am I the only one who experiences mental discord over Good Wil/Bad Wil thanks to his appearances in Big Bang Theory, despite that the latter is completely fictional? XD

  45. Looks like y’all had fun! Did the Wheatons’ cat bring you any freaky dead treats like Anne said she thought it might? Thank you for posting pics; your posts always brighten my day. 🙂

  47. You are a goddess, Jenny!!! I must admit that I’m super jealous of both of you for getting to hang out with the other person, if that makes any kind of sense. 😀

  48. For a second I read that as “Wil Wheaton’s wife, [named] Victor” and was super confused.

  49. You know what I hope happens? I hope that aliens try to figure out our culture by reading your blog.

  50. This post is so awesome I’m hyperventilating here.
    Either that or I just need another drink.
    Or is this a sign I just had too many drinks?
    Nah, there’s no such thing as too many drinks, right? Right??

  51. Oh darn! Gold Bug doesn’t ship!!! And I thought I’d found the perfect gift! haha!

  53. The sheer awesomeness of having you in a picture with Wil Wheaton is a bit too much for my brain, I’m afraid. Can’t wait for the rest of the story! *shoves away shiny distractions*

  54. Holy crap that man is the bomb! I am so incredibly happy that I plastered pictures of him all over my walls as a youngster. I was clearly right in my obsession. Thanks Jenny I love when people prove me right

  59. Someone once told me at one of the many conventions we go to that Wil Wheaton was a douchebag. I think, in retrospect, that the person telling me this may have, indeed, been the douchebag in question. Thanks for the perspective!

    Also, those bug dioramas are absolutely astounding in their complexity and beauty. Awesome. I wish I could afford one, that kind of talent needs to be monetarily compensated!

  62. Me: “OMGOMGOMG! The Bloggess went to the evil Wil Wheaton’s HOUSE! And the COLLATED PAPER! And he held TWINE!!!

    Husband: *confused face* “Say that again in English?”

    Me: *laughs until I can’t breathe*

  64. I doubt anyone will care about my comment, but I had to type it:

    You collated papers with Gordy, who had *leeches* in his *drawers* on his *thing*. Do you understand how cool that is?! You sideways hugged Punky Brewster, who punched two of the Friends a whole lot more than bodyguards should’ve allowed.

    Gordy pulled out his twine.

    If you’d kick him sideways on his butt while walking. . .well, then, I’d died of my jealousy.

  65. This must have made your year. Screw being a published author- Wil Wheaton pulled something out of his drawer and you WERE RIGHT NEXT TO HIM! Awe-some. Congratulations! Your unicorn will be arriving in the mail in 6-8 weeks.

  66. Wil Wheaton…you are a king among men. Bravo, sir!
    Jenny, you are my hero. : )

  67. Wow. I always saw Wil Wheaton as some sort of Santa Claus who was wonderful and made everyone happy but didn’t actually exist. But now I believe.

    This post is my Weenie Whistle.

  68. Ohmigosh you went to Wil Wheaton’s HOUSE!!!!!!!!! Ten-year-old me and present-day me are dying. DYING!!!!!!!

  72. This is SO awesome! Words cannot describe. Also, I am having trouble breathing – not sure if I am laughing or just overwhelmed by the amount of awesomeness. It is 01.30 AM and I will go to bed a happier woman than I would three minutes ago. That sentence makes sense. I swear.

  73. I’ve been reading a bit of his Tumblr of late and have come to the conclusion that you two may have been separated at birth. Just maybe. And if that is true, how awesome that you have found each other again.

  74. I gotta ask…..how much did you spend on taxidermied bugs? And were any of them Jitterbugs?

    And Re: post #60: Yes, this whole event SHOULD be made into a folksong. I will look forward to hearing it. Out there. Somewhere.

  77. OMG THIS IS INSANELY EPIC!!! I saw WW’s tweet the other day TO Nathan Fillion about twine and wondered if something was up …

    I just can’t get over how awesome this is.

  78. OoOh!! I’ve BEEN to the Gold Bug!! They did get just a little snarky when I wanted to take pictures in the shop, but that’s ok – the innate coolness of the stuff in the shop made up for their snootery.

    Also – two BIG thumbs up for Wil’s coolness and showmanship.

  79. Wil, Bloggess, and your recent obsession with Doctor Who. How awesome is it that these various things I love and admire are all congregating? It’s like the internet is merging into a single site!!!

  84. Wil Wheaton, if you’re reading this, I am your new superfan.

    Jenny, we want to hear the Long Story!

  86. This is too awesome! Just when I had given up on dreaming, I read this and realize that sometimes, just sometimes, dreams really do come true. Well, I don’t know if it was a dream. Maybe it was more of an internet acorn that has finally grown into a giant Wil Wheaton oak tree with Jenny by it’s side all wrapped up in a nice twine bow. Still, I think I’m going to steal some acorns from the squirrel outside and see what happens. Thanks Jenny & Wil for making me laugh!

  89. Is it weird that I actually want to cry right now??? I remember when Wil Wheaton pulled leaches out of his pants in the Stand By Me movie but this is awesome too. You have resurrected one of my all time loves. And this man knew River Phoenix personally. He met him. Touched him. Well hugged him at least b/c that was in the movie. The great River Phoenix taken too early. Wow blogess you are my hero!!!!

  90. Okay, I would totally want to do this just to be able to say Wil Wheaton’s house, I AM IN YOU!

  91. Oh My God! That is beyond awesome! I am simultaneously so happy for you and so JEALOUS! Wil Wheaton! Collating! Twine! SHUT UP!

  93. Seriously?
    You are amazing.
    Wil Wheaton is amazing.
    The mad, bizarre, uplifting joy your posts bring into my life scare me.
    Then, I read the booktopia thing and found out that you are a fan of Neil Gaiman and he is also a fan of you. Good lord, woman. There’s too much furiously happy stuff going on here.
    I feel like that damned pig on the geico commercials…. Wheeeeeeee! Whee! Wheeeeeeeeeee!

  95. I love that Wil Wheaton has twine in his drawers! I also love you Jenny for posting. I just put a shout out to my friends for some uplifting thoughts and who posted-NO ONE. But YOU JENNY-you came through. Virtual hugs to you and Wil. THANK YOU! oh and Lisa Wood and her bugs are awesome. I don’t even like bugs but those things are cute 🙂

  100. For the first time in a really long time…I don’t know what to say. Which doesn’t make me too thrilled.

    Damn.

    Nevermind. THAT totally counts.

  101. Honestly, my love of Sheldon Cooper was making me think this Wheaton fellow was a bit of a cad. Ridiculous I know, as he was just playing a characterized version of himself.

    Your blog, and his participation thereon, has completely changed that.

  104. This right here? This is why I Love the internet and yes, if I weren’t already married I’d marry it.

  109. This is just the best. WW is just so (all the words that mean all the best things).

  111. I am confused. Is this Photoshop? Is this real life? Is this forever? And if so, Will Wheaton wins the Internet Awesomeness Award for life. Go Wheaton! GO WHEATON!

  112. HOLY SHITSNACKS. It’s an OMEN I tell you. Maybe there’s something to the Mayan 2012 theory after all…?

    Nah.

  114. I’m SO jealous of you….. I’ve loved Wil Wheton since he first appeared in Star Trek….. and those bug things are fucking awesome…. I need to buy them.. but in a way that the bf will not find out… cuz I have a feeling he will not appreciate their awesomeness.

  115. This is awesome… I tweeted a reply to Nathan Fillion the other day… twine may have slipped into it somehow… is there a particular has tag I should use? 🙂

    So Mr Fillion, Mr Wheaton has seen your twine and raised you collating paper with the bloggess whilst holding twine.

    I think nothing short of Mr Fillion holding a ball of twine on a spatula whilst collating paper on a unicycle could ever beat this. 🙂

  123. This man needs a monument of awesome made in his honour. And people can come and collate and hold twine at the base of it all day to just try to emulate the awesome.

  125. I CANNOT wait to hear about the rest of your trip because I bet this is just the tip of the iceberg of awesomeness.

  128. It’s like you took Christmas, Halloween and a birthday party, wrapped it in a big, shiny, rainbow colored box and strapped it to the back of a unicorn. Only cooler.

  129. I had to stop walking by “Gold Bug.” I kept steaming up the glass display cases with sweaty envy.

  131. You and Wil have melted my heart in such an awesome way today.

    And the word awesome will never be overused when it concerns you both.

  134. LIKE, LIKE, LIKE, LIKE! 😉

    That just made my day! I’m smiling from ear to ear! (kinda like you in the pic!)

  135. Ok. First, as a STNG tween, I was in love with WW. Now I just think the guy freakin rocks! I <3 people who just go with life and explore its quirks 🙂 So yeah, you freakin rock too 😉

    But! That said.. Where is the bug doing tarot??? Did you buy it? The closest I see is one collection stamps..

  139. Sigh… so many questions running through my mind – but I’ll just have to keep reading your posts to understand more.

    It’s fantastic that you’re doing more with your blog than just sharing thoughts (however random and hilarious they might be).

  140. Mother Mary in a Margarita – this is by far the best thing I’ve seen all day. Granted, I haven’t seen a lot, but this rocks my face off. And dang you for turning this into a cliffhanger like a soap opera on a Friday, Jenny.

  143. You made my day! This is my favorite post since you acquired the giant metal chicken.

  144. How funny that I’m reading this at the same time I’m watching an episode of Big Bang Theory with Wil Wheaton!

  145. I echo all the previous comments – holy crap, how awesome, how did this happen, can I be you for a week (or day), and at first I thought Wil Wheaton’s wife’s name was named Victor. Awesome.

  146. Turning on The Big Bang Theory to discover the Wil Wheaton is staring in tonight’s rerun makes this post better times infinity.

  149. I’m so confused. How does one go from plane delay at LAX to collating at his house? I mean, I do know the whole back story, but… did you call him? Did he see you there? Did you miss the plane, and stay with them, and talk sci fi all night long? Put down the pretty, shiny things and provide additional details. Pretty please.

  150. I’m currently watching Will Wheaton on a rerun of The Big Bang Theory. He looks so huggable!

    I’m secretly hoping that Nathan Fillion is waiting for the moment to do something really remarkable … instead of doing what he seems to be doing — being really lame about being famous. Ugh.

    Of course you are fabulous. You are a sparkling rainbow of Unicorn-ish Success! 🙂
    K.

  153. Jenny, isn’t life just wildly wonderful some of the time?? Thank you for the laughs and snorts. Mostly, thanks for hanging on the internets…with @wilw

  155. No freakin’ way?!?!?! This is probably the best blog post ever or at least in the past month! Oh my gosh! Will Wheaton, collating papers, string/twine, ponies, giant metal chicken, and tarot card reading taxidermy bugs, how is that much awesome packed into one post?! Wow. Mind. Totally. Blown.

  156. I think Sheldon would have a heart attack and do his twitchy face shenanigans.

  157. Seriously!!!! Not only does this show Will Wheaton’s awesomeness even more, but now I must have tarot card reading bugs!!!

    BTW, I told my hubby this weekend that if I had been a Unicorn I would have stabbed him. Not to death or anything. A love stab really…lol!!!! Not sure where that story fits in except I thought you might find it funny!

  158. AWESOME…TOTALLY COMPLETELY AWESOME!! That is all I have to say…

  159. It seems that there are few things that delight you that AREN’T to Victor’s chagrin 😉

  161. I want to be you for a day. Preferably the day these amazing pics were taken. This makes me Furiously Happy!!!

  165. Wil Wheaton is awesome! So are you btw. I want pics of the ponies or it didn’t happen! Did Juanita ride on one too!?

  167. Did you know that if you do a Google image search for the word “weird” the very first thing that comes up is a picture of taxidermied squirrels playing cards.

    I thought of you. 🙂

  170. Totally. Awesome. I am very jealous, but I would have never been able to carry off a conversation.

  173. Will Wheaton is amazing!! I am immediately going out to buy Stand By Me in his honor…and because that movie rocks.

  174. And I fail at spelling!!!!! WIL is now more than welcome to spell my name Kelly or Kelley or Kellie or Kellye or Kelleigh in retaliation. Sorry Wil!

  176. Just when I think you can’t possibly do any better on your blog…you go and BLOW ME AWAY!! Much respect.

  179. Ok, here’s what just happened. I was watching Big Band Theory and it was the one with Will Wheaton. I *also* had my laptop open and started reading your post. BAM. It was like Jesus spoke directly to me thru WW. True story. I thought I reached my RDA (Recommended Daily Allowance) of Wheaton, but I find myself wanting more!!

  180. FANTABULOUSLY AWESOME. So awesome in fact that I wish I had something better than All Caps. We need glittery font. Just for super awesome exclamations. Yay Wil, you are deserving of glitter font.

  181. I am not sure how to express my love for you (I am a new fan). Perhaps some sort of twine based interpretive dance would be appropriate. But you don’t want to see me try to dance. I’ll have to think on it some more. For the record, in the last couple of weeks, I’ve read your entire blog. I’ve laughed until my stomach hurt many times and been deeply touched. Ew, not in that way. Get your mind out of the gutter.

  184. How beyond AWESOME is that! And to pull out TWINE on top! WHEEEEEEATON, rules. Period. That is all.

  185. Fess up. It’s some sort of dastardly magic, isn’t it?

    What else could explain the way I do my damnedest to stay away…but your posts keep sucking me right out of work mode and into hours of procrastination. Stop, Jenny. Please.

  186. Awesome. Now I can’t breathe, I have a major cramp in my belly and my cat is looking at me like I’ve finally stepped off the deep end. I needed that laugh.

  188. This whole story is furiously awesome: it makes me smile. I’m glad Wil understands the importance of twine, too (he must be getting pretty good at collating paper now, don’t you think?)

  189. Wheaton – Shmeaton.

    You’re totally looking good there, doll. And I mean that in the most lascivious way.

    Or I’m too evolved and sophisticated to notice such things.

    Your choice.

    XOXOXO

  191. I don’t know whether I am supposed to go “aww” or “ack!” at those bug things. I kind of love the Butterfly and Caterpillar Target Practice one though. What does that say about me?

  192. I never knew that a man holding twine could bring me this much happiness. Wow. Just wow.
    I’m tearing up a little bit here….

  193. I genuinely started hyperventilated a bit when I saw that first picture. Cos like, this all is just some kind of voodoo. Awesome voodoo. Voodoo of WIN.

    Like, I just don’t even know what the world means anymore. Is it a bad place because the people in power don’t care if birth control could help a woman stave off cancer if it also might prevent her getting pregnant, or is it an amazing place because people like you and Wil Wheaton exist and have a sense of humour and kindness and things like this happen?

    I just. don’t. know.

  197. About the time you posted this I was sleeping in my bed and dreamt Nathan Fillion finally gave up, went to you in person and brought you a picture of him holding twine.
    Didn’t happen though, did it?

  199. You are the luckiest bitch in Texas Jenny!!!! Wil Wheaton is the shit and you are the bomb for sharing your amazing world with us! Keep on keeping on and never ever let anyone tell you to stop!

  203. My brain just exploded… This is pure awesomeness.
    Wil and you rule the intertubez!

  205. How friggin AWESOME!(Now that Ive cleaned the coffee that spewd from my mouth off my laptop )
    This has got to be the best post since Victor opened the front door and met Beyonce! ( which is actually how I stumbled onto your world of awesomness through Pinterest)
    Im so incredibly & furiously happy for you 🙂 and also a bit jealous…………

    * I thought his wifes name was Victor too ,which would have totally made this post MORE awesome if thats even possible!

  206. Did anyone else notice that he’s wearing the same shirt, even? Jenny- you are my new favorite blogger!

  207. I’ve been following along for a couple of months now… and by far my favourite posts have been your Wil Wheaton adventures… so AWESOME doesn’t even come close to describing this!

    Only problem is… what else in your life can possibly come close? 😉

    Oh yeah, and you’ve probably alienated Sheldon Cooper for life… :p

  208. So I clicked on through to the bugs and got super excited when I saw the apparel tab. Do you know how hard it is to find tiny aprons for caterpillars? I’m never going to hear the end of it if my little Camilla can’t be her favorite squirrel for Halloween. Also? That apparel tab was bullshit.

  210. i just had to shar this with you, b/c, of you, my boyfriend got me this for my birthday! best gift ever!!! and i owe it all to you!

    i want to pist a pic, but it won’t let me..but it’s my very own taxidermied squirrell drinking a pbr!!!!

  212. In your face William Shatner. Will Wheaton knows how to step up.

  213. I tell ya, Wil Wheaton is rapidly solidifing his place as my third favorite Star Trek actor. #1 is DeForest Kelley, because I grew up with the original series and Bones was my favorite character, and that was the whole reason I even started to like science fiction. Plus I really like the name DeForest. I can’t knock him from that pinnacle because he’s dead and that would just be rude. #2 is Patrick Stewart, because Next Generation came at a, shall we say, “defining” moment of my teenagehood. I still crush on bald guys with British accents. I can’t take him down from #2 because, well, he’s PATRICK STEWART. But #3? That’s up for grabs and Wheaton’s got it. I was never a big Wesley Crusher fan, but I am a big Wil Wheaton fan!

    Avery Brooks, I await your next move.

  214. The sheer joy on your face makes my day. And I now love Will Wheaten even more. And you must (MUST) tell more of how the hell this all happened.

  216. Wow wow wow wow. Jenny, you live an amazing life, and I’m so grateful that I get to live it vicariously through you. And, Wil Wheaton is my new hero.

  219. WOW! Did you feel like you’d explode? Or maybe you’re more used to celebrity. The one time I met a celebrity I thought I’d explode if I touched him. I have a picture with the author, but as everyone who sees it says, “You’re like a mile away? Why didn’t you get in closer?”

    That’s so cool. You’re my hero.

  221. I have now unnerved all of my coworkers by yelling YES! when I saw this. (Let them think what they want). This could not be more awesome!!!!!

  223. OMG. I don’t even understand how this happened; my mind has been blown. Totally amazing and awesome.

  226. HOLY FREAKING CRAP!! The Trifecta of your life! Wil Wheaton, collating, and twine! I can’t even imagine how much your mind must have been screaming “WIL WHEATON!!!”, as you maintained your awesome cool. I cannot wait to hear the whole story!

  228. I don’t know whether to be creeped out or amazed by those bug dioramas. But yay! for Wil and Anne Wheaton. Could they be more awesome?

  230. Okay, I know you’re both married, but please, if Victor ever goes in a taxidermy-related accident and Wil’s wife is snatched by aliens, promise me you will get together with Wil. Think of your readers.

  231. At last! Jenny, are there tears in your eyes in the first picture? LOVE the permagrin too…good times.

  236. Jenny my respect for you has increased even more. You were in Wil Wheaton’s house and he totally looks as if he knows you are there I looked at the photo closely and it does not as if you drugged him or anything.

  237. I’m going to assume that you and Wil Wheaton were collating the minutes of the first ever Unicorn Success Club board of directors meeting.

  238. Oh, damn. And then he pulled TWINE out of his pants???

    I might be in love. With you AND Wil Wheaton.

    Who needs that other Canadian-who-shall-remain-nameless-because-he-obviously-has-no-damn-sense-of-humor-or-sense-of-fair-play anyway, right? Pfft.

  240. Hey, you didn’t even need to wear your confidence wig! That’s awesome, good on ya!
    I’m so jealous. Jealous that Wil Wheaton got to hang out with you and magically pull twine from *somewhere* and jealous that you got to colate papers with him. It looks amaze-balls and I hope you had the best weekend ever!

  241. Does life get any better than this? I have been loving the whole AMAZING thread and re-reading it. But Wil just upped the ante and made that bar so damn high that it just can’t get any better. If it did, I would explode all over from too much joy and that is a mess I don’t want anyone to have to clean up.

    I am truly in love with you and Wil Wheaton. Thank you, both for this amazingness.

  242. There is hope for humanity. Thank you both for keeping us inspired. I really think that, “the Canadian-who-shall-remain-nameless will be sad for all he has missed out on!

  243. This makes me so happy, and who doesn’t like happiness, amiright? I am a huge fan of Wil’s character on “The Guild”, and knowing that he is also a totally kick-ass person in real life is mind-blowing and amazing. I already knew you were amazing, Jenny, because… DUH. So many reasons!

    In-person twine and collating FTW!

  244. OMG, Wil Wheaton is AMAZING!!!!! When I didn’t think I could love him any more…he does this.

  246. Wil Wheaton rocks and his brother is my husband’s doppleganger. And not just because he shares a beer with a paper chicken.

  248. See, this is why the Oxford Comma is important. You said “Also, there were horses. Me, Wil Wheaton, his lovely wife, Victor and ponies.” And I’m all like, “Oh, how sweet, you both have spouses named Victor. Except his wife is named ‘Victor and ponies,’ which is kinda weird. But hey, maybe that’s some kind of affectionate nickname. Like maybe his wife calls him ‘Fluffy Penisbottoms.’ But maybe you didn’t know his nickname because that just didn’t come up in the introductions, maybe Wil introduced his wife and not the other way around. Any maybe because you already knew who Wil was.” Which is a lot of maybes. And also a shining example of why you should use the damn Oxford comma, to avoid these kinds of confusion situations.

  249. I less than three you so hard right now; so much so in fact, that I’m considering asking you to led one of the squads of tiny baby bunny airborne soldiers I will someday command. Because I feel that you would see the totally lack of crazy, and utter importance of it all.
    Also?
    Have I mentioned how awesome this post is?

  253. I hate how he always plays ubnoxious characters on every show, that you tend to want to gut with a knife before the show ends.

    I might have a few unresolved issues, but regardless…

    WILL WHEATON IS MY NEW HERO!

    I totally have a non-gay man-crush on him now.

  254. Wil is Jesus, Joseph, and Mary all rolled up into one powerful, twine holding, paper collating motherfucker.

    and you, dearest Jenny, are a bigger god than Alanis Morissette was in whatever that movie was.

  257. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah. You were in my hometown???

    But I’m so excited that you and Wil met up! How awesome are the two of you!!

  258. My husband just described Wil Wheaton as always having had a “George Cloony-ish grin on him”. I think he now also has a man crush.

    Wil Wheaton: Fulfilling dreams and turning men just a little gay everywhere.

  259. i don’t know if the twine made me laugh harder or the devious look on his face after pulling something out of his drawers, but regardless very well played, thank you for that!

  260. Um, Jenny… In the link you provided for the taxidermied bugs (And, by the way, who doesn’t need a caterpillar building a snowman?), you failed to mention the other artists noted. Bruce Wolf’s works in the series “Death By Cat.” Right up your alley!

    My husband inquired the other day “What makes you happy?” I decided that 2 things bring me endless joy. 1. Your blog. 2. Trying to convince my husband that you are a hoot. Someday, he will realize that he and Victor are kindred spirits, living parallel lives as the husbands of women like us.

    Thanks for yet another laugh.

  263. I’m with you on your love of Neil Gaiman, the guy’s a genius. But-

    What is with this Will Wheaton obsession? I had to go to google to even find out who he was! Stand by Me, which was cool but so long ago it might as well have been in a galaxy far far away, and a supporting role in far less cool Star Trek: Generation Next -or whatever, which ended in the mid 90’s. His career seems dead since then, but you seem to try to prop it up now and then. Wait, Is this part of your taxidermy fetish?

  264. I saw on Facebook that Wil had tweeted that he’d gotten to spend the day with YOU, and I was all, like “JEALOUS!” but in a good way, because really, I only thought he meant he was reading your book (because Anne had already burned her soup while reading your book, so I figured she was done with it and now it was his turn), BUT NO – when he said “spending the day with the Bloggess” he MEANT IT – IN PERSON AND EVERYTHING – and so now, I’m TOTALLY, all, like “JEALOUS!” (but in a really good way because I love you both so much).

    This is my today’s FURIOUSLY HAPPY moment. I’m markin’ it down. YAY!!!!!! 😀

  266. I’m conflicted about Wil Wheaton–

    On the one hand, I loved him in Stand By Me and STNG. Never was a bigger fan girl than I.

    On the other hand, he’s such a douche canoe to Sheldon on Big Bang Theory. Wil! Maybe you could convince the writers to make you a more likeable character!

    Still a big fan girl of Wheaton, tho. This post just cements that further in place. What a guy.

  267. What an amazing guy. Funny thing is before I read this I was watching a Criminal Minds episode that featured Wil as a serial killer.

  270. I hereby declare The Bloggess to be the unadulterated queen of all things awesome! Wil Wheaton, Punky (only because I am not positive how to spell her Christian name) and BUGS!?!??!

    I bow to your superiority, your majesty.

  273. I’ve been anxiously awaiting this post ever since he put on FB that he’d seen you!!! Woohoo!! <3

  274. From the dome bug lady’s website about the bug poses that capture the bugs and their”…everyday lives hidden from praying human eyes.” Whaaa-aa-aat? Praying eyes?

  276. I honestly don’t know what Wil Wheaton has done professionally lately (he’ll always be Wesley Crusher to me), but he is totally my favorite celebrity in the history of like, EVER, now. Standing ovation, high five, pat on the back, big hug, and my last cupcake are all his. (But only if he shares the glory, affection, and empty calories with you, Jenny. He totally owes his success to you. Kinda.)

  277. Joy + I shared the taxidermied bugs with a bug expert woman who is getting married in case she wants to register there….

  278. I would like to tell Wil about something I just learned LAST YEAR, after 18 years of teaching: Almost all copy machines collate for you. AND they even STAPLE! Poor guy is collating too much. Stop collating, Wil! It’s really cutting into your twine-holdin’ time!

  279. O!M!G! It’s like a dream come true!!! I wish I was you!! 🙂 But, I would love to know how the horses fit into the story!!!!

  283. Holy crapsnacks (to use my kids’ version of your favorite epithet)!!! I actually went to wake up my 11yo last night to show her…she was awake & on her computer, but I’d beat her to it so I still got to be cooler, temporarily. So. Freaking. Awesome. of WW.

  284. Wil Wheaton dated a girl that dated a boy that I dated. I am now officially only 4 degrees of separation from The Bloggess. Score.

  286. The sheer awesomeness of these pictures SHOULD have made the internet IMPLODE. But oh how furiously happy I am that it held strong.

    LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!

  287. OMGOMGOMG! That picture made me hyperventilate from all the AWESOME!!!!

    Wil Weaton and Jenny Lawson collating together is like HEAVEN ON F**KING EARTH!!

  291. The only POSSIBLE addition to this awesomesauce would be if there were a picture of you and Wil running out into the street to yell “WOLVERINES!!!!”

  292. I saw Wil Wheaton post that he spent the day with you and I was both jealous, and immediately anticipating your post(s) about it. You two make the internet fun again. 🙂

  293. I’ve been dying to read about this event since he tweeted about it! Deatils! Details!

  294. I said it about the last picture of Wheaton collating paper and I will say it again about this one – HOW CAN YOU COLLATE BLANK PAPER! I swear he does these things to irritate me. He is so getting a rash because of this…

  296. Does Will Wheaton have offspring? I hope he does and I hope he calls them “Mini Wheats” ..I’m sure you’ve already suggested it.

  298. I read that “me, Wil Wheaton, his lovely wife Victor.” Apparently that’s how I roll. Is it possible to collate blank paper?

  300. Holy Shit-Snacks!

    Did he share his home-brew with you?! That would be top of the world awesome.

  302. Amazing to think that somewhere Matthew Broderick is thinking, “Wow! The BLOGGESS went to Wil Wheaton’s house!! That’s so cool!” (For Wil, because you were at his house… did I make that clear? That’s what I meant at any rate.) I think you’re going to be hanging with the fabulous SJP soon! Oh wait, they live in different houses, don’t they? Well Matthew Broderick is pretty fabulous all on his own, so that’s fine. 🙂

  304. Awesome! Wil Wheaton, you rock! For knowing how to have fun and for knowing how to NOT take yourself too seriously!!! Super cool guy!!!!

  306. Saw a Fillion interview on E the other day and I couldn’t hear a word because I was thinking, “He’s so cute and well spoken, it’s a damn shame he won’t pose with twine.” I mean, we’ve all let it go, I know, but he’d be a Goddamn hero if he’d just do it! Surprise us, Fillion. You have nothing to lose and thousands of fans to gain.

    p.s. ^ so funny, @Snarkier Than You.

  311. Wait, why are you & Mr. Wheaton perusing stacks of papers? Are the two of you starting an H&R Block franchise? I bet you two could come up with some clever business deductions. Taxidermy expenses for various small critters, for one.

  312. I know that Wil Wheaton is Sheldon’s arch nemesis but I kind of like him…look at those collating skills!

  314. I feel like jumping up and down while holding your hand and saying, “I’m so happy for you!” as if you had gotten engaged because this is that amazing.

  319. I’m not even 100% sure who Will Wheaton is, other than someone who collates paper, but good grief this is fantastic!

  320. wil wheaton = officially the coolest celebrity ever!!! (other than you, of course ;))

  321. I met Wil W on the set of Stand By Me when I was 14. I’m sure the memory is engraved on his brain as I played such a pivotal role as Girl #4 in the barfing scene. I’m still anxiously awaiting my Oscar nod.

  323. I’m having fantasies of Wil in his little Star Trek uniform. RIGHT NOW.

  325. I sincerely hope this is followed up by, “Nater Tater, I AM IN YOU.” Since that’s the only way he can get the W now. Well played, Wheaton. Extremely well played.

  326. Taxidermied insects in dioramas under glass? It is no wonder third-world countries want to kill us all.

  327. How did this HAPPEN???

    Wil Wheaton is now one of my favorite People-I’ve-Never-Met (you’re among them, btw).

  330. this. is. awesome.

    what’s the deal with you and these dead animals?

  333. Awesome with a side of awesome sauce!

    Really, what more could you ask for? Maybe Ferris Mewler’s ears peeking over the edge of the windowsill, but I think that would be overkill.

  334. The photo of you collating paper while Will Wheaton holds twine almost broke my brain. It is so awesome!

    Also, I have been going through the anthropomorphic taxidermied bug site and I think I’m going to order the one titled “Caterpillar Listens To Music,” because from the title I assumed he would be listening to an iPod. But he’s listening to a Victrola. He’s old school!

  335. Mother of God! This is so awesome, it pulled me right out of an oncoming panic attack. Now I can die in peace.

  336. Haha, this made my day. Wil’s facial expressions are hilarious and you look adorable!

  337. You were at the Goldbug in Pasadena and I DIDN’T GET TO SEE YOU?!?

    My heart!
    It breaks!

    …but not a whole lot because,
    hey, I am so sympathetic to the social anxiety thing.

    Still!

    Best.
    Shop.
    EVER.

  342. You are proof that dreams do come true. Ha Ha! Love you and totally love Wil Wheaton. He had me at twine,

  344. Life is simply amazing. This just completely changed my disposition for the day. Thank you, Jenny. Thank you Wil.

  351. OK, you are my hero! I am not sure how you managed to make this happen, but it totally made my day. I amlost fell out of my chair. And by the way, Wil Wheaton is BY FAR the best celebrity EVER for being so cool!

  354. I feel it’s a moral imperative that you purchase the bus having a tarot card reading.
    Some of that mystical information could be pertinent. 🙂

  356. Seeing this post has officially made this the best day ever!!! Wil Wheaton is one hell of a classy man

  358. Ok, we can all agree that Wil is cool for collating and super cool for the twine and hosting bloggess at his house, but take a closer look at his t-shirt. Is that C-3PO holding up a boom box like Lloyd Dobler? I think that excels him to epic coolness. A geeky 80s girl’s dream right there.

  362. I don’t know… Should I be more jealous of the ponies or the Wil Wheaton time? If I tell you there are bugs in my apartment, would you come visit me, too? I’ll invest in some taxidermied art…

  365. so, has victor begun to pack his things yet? when i got a gift from my fav celeb, my husband was told “pack your shit! we’re getting a divorce”. wil wheaton is down right AWESOME for hanging with you!!!

  366. ps.. why is he NOT holding some form of taxidermy friend? you guys need to have dead puppet playhouse and photograph that. why is he not wearing an apron yelling about how his mother fucking souffle was ruined? that would be K-I-L-L-E-R!!

  367. JENNIFER ARCHIBALD LAWSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MOTHERFUCKIN HELL YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  368. Oh man, I LOVE Gold Bug! The minute you said, “anthropomorphic taxidermied bugs doing a tarot card reading,” I knew EXACTLY what you were talking about. I think there’s approximately one other place in the world that might have those (Armed & Dangerous, in Philly). One time, they had some taxidermied goats in the windows wearing crowns. CROWNS!! It was epic. Also, their Yelp reviews are largely about how mean the owner is, and when I Yelped that I had never had an issue, I got hate mail on Yelp saying that I was a liar.

    This reminds me to hit up Gold Bug next week when I’m in LA. Of course, I don’t get to combine that to a trip to Wil Wheaton’s house. Not without the trip ending with a restraining order, that is.

  371. There’s only thing that could make that more geektastically awesome and that’s … um … uh … huh … yeah, I got nothing. That is GEEKTASTICALLY AWESOME all on its own!

  373. This is a fantastic follow up post to original Wil Wheatin Collating papers post. And a great followup to twine being held. Thank you Wil and The Blogess for filling the holes in our lives left by a lack of follow up posts.

  374. ‘m not sure how you kept your cool. One time I just THOUGHT I saw Wil Wheaton and I was fan girling the whole drive home even though .02 seconds after I thought I saw him, I realized it wasn’t him. Just the thinking I saw him makes me go nerd crazy so being in his house would probably cause me to implode.

  375. Wil must truly be holy. What a gracious host, man, I can’t say that I would have a collating station ready in case you dropped by.

  377. This is why we never talk on the phone anymore. You’re too busy hanging out with cool people.

    😉

  378. No, but seriously, this has to be fake. That’s not even twine. I reckon you and Wil were just hanging out, you asked him to hold some twine and he said “Sorry, I don’t do that. None of us do. It’s Nathan’s Law, but I can ACT like I’m holding twine, on account of how, you know, I’m an actor and stuff again, still, now. I can totally act. Did you even see me in all those things I did? No, the ones where I wasn’t playing ‘evil me’. Yeah, see. Okay, check this shit out.” and then he TOTALLY acted EXACTLY like he was holding twine, but then you photoshopped in a picture of some string. Where I come from, twine is green. He probably didn’t even have a rule about holding string. You could have totally got him to hold string and then photoshopped in twine. He wouldn’t have had to act or anything. You know, because for an actor, doing acting makes it a work day, which makes it all boring like working in an office, collating papers and such. I’m….I’m rambling, aren’t I?

  382. Ama.Zing. Did you rifle through his medicine cabinets? Only because that’s what I would totally do if I ever went to one of my childhood idols’ houses. (Which, come to think of it, might be why he and/or Ricky Schroeder have yet to invite me over.) *sigh*…I bet he has the best stuff in there.

  383. Shutthefuckup. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Wil Wheaton is frickin’ amazing.

    And you, my dear, win the “I Am Kind Of A Big Deal” prize. Because you are kind of a big deal!!!!!

  386. Seriously you are HILARIOUS and Will is AWESOME. Kudos to his down to earth personality. He is at the top of my list these days.

  390. Ah, there’s my feed. I don’t want people to miss out on that post. It’s fucking brilliant. I lied.

  394. Did anyone else read that as ‘aromatherapy taxidermied bugs’ for a minute? That was a weird minute…

  399. I’ll be Beyonce’d. I thought I had the best day ever today when my son came home from Afghanistan and I open my reader to find you doing your damnedest to one-up me. Well played, Bloggess, well played.

  404. I did NOT know this: PPPS. Did you know that in Pasadena you can buy anthropomorphic taxidermied bugs doing a tarot card reading?

  405. I keep coming back to look. Because this just fills a hole I didn’t even know was there. Two of my favourite people in the same room, being awesome!

  406. I cannot even begin to tell you how happy this makes me. I always thought Will was cool. Coolest of the cool now. A god among geeks. (You do bring out the best in people, you know.)

  407. First @wilw responded to a tweet by one of my friends (last week — truth), and then he pulls out twine while he lets you collate? Standing ovation nothing, he deserves a relentless tsunami of adulation from the masses.

    btw, I observed a 3-foot Beyonce in front of a house down the block from me. As soon as camera meets cable meets computer, I plan to do a blog post on it. Beyonce: it’s everywhere.

  408. I think you just broke the space-time continuum. Also, I’m totally putting the caterpillar funeral on my wedding registry…I’m pretty sure that’s how you start a successful marriage.

  410. I want to be you when I grow up. Not like you. you. In a non-creepy i’m jealous of your life kinda of way. You are more famous than famous people, cuz famous people invite you to their house. Then again, if I were you I probably would have gone all 11-year-old-with-a-crush and embarrassed myself. You can be you, I will be me and we can all be Furiously Happy.

  413. I was wondering if the next time you see Mr. Wheaton, you could ask him why in the movie Toy Soldiers (my favorite Wil Wheaton movie where he is taken hostage in a private boys school) does he go all vigilante? He could have totally stayed alive if he had just let Rudy (Sean Astin is only Rudy to me, he has no other movies as far as I’m concerned) do his thing.
    Anyway, that’s all. If you could ask Wil that question and let me know, it’s always bothered me.
    Thanks!

  414. Awesome. I <3 Wil Wheaton. this is just another thing to prove how Awesome he is.

  416. The man deserves a freaking medal. I don’t know of many other celebrities who are this awesome about responding to fan requests and being just super awesome in general. Promote that ensign to captain damn it!

    The End

  417. only way it could have been better is if he presented you with one of the insects doing a tarot card reading, but still pretty cool

  418. I’m assuming that “Much to Victor’s chagrin.” means you’ve once again added to your taxidermist family.

    You’re like the Angelina Jolie. Of dead things that is…

  419. aaahhhh the President and Vice president of the Unocorn Success Club~~~~~~~~~~

  421. So, I just started watching The Big Bang Theory reruns on TBS before I go to bed at night. Last night Will was on the show and I about fell off the bed laughing because I actually knew who he was…thanks to you. My husband thought I was so weird for laughing and enjoying the show as much as I did. Thanks! I had a Jenny moment at my house!

  422. I’m sure there’s some amazing backstory here that’s got you IN WIL WHEATON’S HOUSE!! But what I really want to know is how a well-endowed gal like yourself can wear a top like that?!?!?

  423. Answers to the questions asked in the comments: Yes, no, maybe, no problem, how dare you, exactly, too much, monkeys are better, I bought the caterpillar funeral, and strapless bra.

  424. I’m sure that you and Wil Wheaton together, collating and holding twine are one of the signs of the End Times.

  426. This delights me in a way that only Will Wheaton, Twine, and some hardcore collating can possibly accomplish. Wil is clearly a very upstanding gentleman and I wholeheartedly approve of his actions. I’m curious how you ended up in his house. I can only assume that advanced bartering was involved and the negotiation was one for the ages.

  428. I cannot believe you went to GOLD BUG without me! I even told you about the freaking store at Blog Her in the gold bathroom of the hotel. Aaargh. I love that store. And every time I go I think of you – and my kids always want me to buy something to send to you – especially when I see the taxidermied animals with little crowns.

  429. Mr. Wheaton? My hat is off and I bow to you, Sir.
    You are ten kinds of what makes this world awesome. 🙂

  430. Just watched the episode of “Big Bang theory” where Whil Wheaton is taken of Sheldon’s mortal enemy list. Well done Whil.

  431. I actually gasped when I saw the pictures! So much awesomeness in one place. There are no words madam.

    Ups, downs, twine or spatula, Jenny you are my hero!

  432. Beardless Wil Wheaton was always a favorite of mine, but not bearded Wil Wheaton? He’s a jerk on Big Bang, he’s a jerk on Eureka, he just rubbed me wrong due to my inability to separate him from his characters. But now, now that I see him collating AND holding twine, WITH THE BLOGGESS, now I love him again. As I obviously was meant to do all along.

  435. We are sooo in sync these days, it’s eerie. I was delayed in an airport too the other day. And then I found this and thought of you, Jenny. I don’t know how to get it for you, but I suspect you have reached the level of influence that unusual taxidermied animals simply cannot escape your gravitational well. So I’m hoping just telling you about it will start a chain of events that will bring it to you. And without further ado… (wait, one more thing – be sure to read to the end) …
    http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2012/03/15/148672548/star-rabbit-dies-when-photographer-takes-wrong-step?sc=fb&cc=fp

  436. I almost feel like it’s a shame that I’m more of a Star Wars fan than a Trekkie. But you’ve had Will Wheaton collating papers and holding twine; and Jeri Ryan holding a spatula and you hung out with both of them! Seriously, people from Star Trek are amazing. Now if only Ewan McGregor would hang out with me.

    Trekkies, you win this round.

  437. Haha I may be drunk but I thought it read me, Wil Wheaton, his lovely wife Victor, and ponies!

  438. Love. So much love. Wil Wheaton was my second crush ever, just after Jonathon Brandis. Sigh…. and sigh (for two different reasons)

  444. You need to contact ABC. Tell them to give us a show with Castle holding twine, even for just a short while, and they will get bucketloads of free publicity. Maybe he picks up a whole roll of twine with a tell-tale cut end and tells Beckett he found what the victim was tied up with. Maybe something got broken and he used twine to tie it together so it’ll hold for just a while. Maybe Lanie hands him the little piece of twine with the blood on it that she just got done analysing from the body. Come on. Anything!
    In return, dozens of blog readers will be very pleased with AbC and telling their friends and family how awesome they are for making Nathan Billion hold twine.

  445. Wil Wheaton is the man – I’m sorry I never really saw you much on ST:TNG, but with Big Bang Theory and Leverage, I’m getting lots of good fixes. 🙂

    And Nathan – very disappointed in you!

  447. Have you heard? Nathan Fillion will be playing the god Hermes in the upcoming movie Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters (Source: The Hollywood Reporter ). Perhaps you could contact one of the producers or writers, offer them a free signed bookplate in exchange for writing in a ball of twine for Mr. Fillion to hold somewhere in the movie!!! His image holding twine will be forever kept on film, millions of children who will see the movie will remember him holding twine and tell their own children when they grow up, and Mr. Fillion won’t suspect that you’re behind it! I bet it can be worked into the publicity photos for the movie!!! Wait, isn’t Hermes the god of twine????

  449. Awesome. I saw Wil’s post about spending the day with you, and then his wife’s post, retweeted by you about some AMAZING socks. Definately best socks ever. They deserve a blog post all on their own.

  450. I’m so loving Wil Wheaton right now. If only Nater Tater were that amazing. Glad he’s good on his word! :o) He’s got my respect for life.

  451. That is AWESOME and pretty damn cool how he looks almost EXACTLY like the picture he sent you. Smae facial expression and everything.

    And you got in his house. Oh and you were in LA? I wish I would have known, I would have found a way to sneak into LAX so I could meet my bloggy crush in person. Though not in a freaky stalker-ish way cuz I’m not like that.

    Much.

  452. OMG, my 12 year-old self is so effing jealous of you right now, it’s ridiculous. I was never a Star Trek fan, but Stand By Me? One of my all-time favorite movies. You can have your Kiefer, your Corey, your one-day-to-be-hot Jerry. I, my friend, pined for Wil. I hearted him so much…and it turns out for good reason. What a kind, generous, and ridiculously funny man. Please don’t get distracted by shiny things. I want to hear more of this most awesome story.

  455. I never thought I’d be sitting at my desk smiling and thinking people are awesome because they’ve collated and held twine…but here I am.

  456. Dude, tell me more! Don’t leave me hanging! Do I need to insert another quarter?!

  458. I just saw Wil Wheaton on Leverage last night and not really being up on who he was to begin with, I am now following him because of the TWINE story. Thanks Jenny, I think.

  459. Wait. How did I miss this post? Didn’t I tell you via Twitter that I had a dream this happened? That after the Nathon Fillion thing I decided it would be way cooler that Wil Wheaton were holding twine? That was my dream. And now it has come true. Now I can make a t-shirt that says “The Bloggess made my dreams come true”

  460. That Wil Weaton is a collating and twine-holding god! Thanks to you, Jenny for continuing to inspire these random pics!

  461. I don’t want to sound all gay but I had the BIGGEST crush on Wil Wheaton when I was younger.. Maybe that sounds a little gay but IDGAF.

  462. I cannot stop laughing at his smug expression. THIS PICTURE IS EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER NEEDED, PERIOD.

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