Posey, move away from the light

Our 16-year-old cat looks like death warmed over.  The other day he sneezed a tooth at me and looked at me like “Is this what’s it come to?”  He’s also allergic to himself and is full of snot.  AND LOVE.  Also, I want to point out that I took him to the vet several months ago to put him down and the vet was like “You want to murder your cat?  Because he’s fine.  He just looks shitty.”  I’m paraphrasing.  Then he gave me some meds that are supposed to make Posey look less Gollum-like but they totally aren’t working.

Conversation I had with Victor about Posey:

Victor:  I think Posey is ready to go visit Jesus.

me:  He’s fine.  He’s just…tired.

Victor:  You aren’t doing him any favors.  He looks like he wants me to suffocate him out of pity.

me:  HE’S FINE.  He’s 112 in people years.  Pray you look that good when you’re 112.

Victor:  I’ll be begging you to kill me with a hammer at 112.

me:  Touch my cat and I’ll get out the hammer now.  He’s fine.  He’s eating, drinking, pooping, peeing and loving.  He’s still doing the 5 “ING”‘s.   Some days we don’t even have a healthy balance of “ING’s”.

Victor:  Are you saying our family is unbalanced?  Too much pooping, maybe?

me:  I was thinking not enough loving.  For our cat.

Victor:  And possibly too much drinking.  Right now.  Because this cat looks miserable and you’re drunk if think he looks happy.

me:  You know what?  He’s purring so loud I can’t even hear you.

Victor:  I think his purr is busted.  I’m pretty sure he’s trying to growl at the grim reaper following him around.

me:  He’s fine.  He’s gonna be around forever.  This cat has outlasted 4 cats and 2 dogs.  I think he might be immortal.

Victor:  I worry about you.


Victor:  I’ll get the hammer ready.

PS.  People think I’m joking about Posey sleeping with his eyes open to watch out for death.

I’m not joking.

306 thoughts on “Posey, move away from the light

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Aw, my cat lived to be about 19. He looked great though and got around great. Kidney failure got him in the end. If the vet thinks he’s doing great, let him hang out more. But if you think he’s suffering,,,,,

  2. Hahahaha. My grandmother goes by Posey, and now this is all I’ll be thinking of while I’m around her at Easter.

  3. I have a rabbit that is 10 years old.


    I’m pretty sure HE’s immortal, too.

    I’d happily donate some of his blood to Posey. I haven’t done research to see if rabbit blood and cat blood are compatible, but I think so long as the rabbit blood is going IN the cat blood (You know, since cats eat rabbits and all) it’d be fine.

    I love my Moe, but I know you love your Posey. And donating a little immortal love is the least I can do for all the laughs you’ve brought me. XOXO

    PS: For what it’s worth, Moe looks pretty decent for his age. But that might just be cause albinos are known for not showing their age. Bonus for Posey when he’s having a rough day and needs to look his best. Kinda like the evil queen in the new Snow White movie that sucks the life outta people to stay pretty.

    But I digress.

  4. My cat Pootie (actual name: Azrael, but for some reason Pootie is what we call him) is hanging on to life with bitter determination, much like Posey. He’s 13, feels like old carpet and has cataracts (or are they just aracts if they’re in cat’s eyes?) in both eyes and pees like he’s trying to refill the Hoover dam. I love him dearly, despite his gnarly appearance and frankly disgusting breath (he also has gingivitis). Pootie’s been snatched back from death’s door several times in the past year and despite my boyfriend’s insistence that he’s going to pop off any day now, Pootie is hanging tough. I visit the bathroom cabinet he likes to sleep in everyday, just to make sure he’s still moving. He’s lived in 8 different apartments, 2 houses, 4 cities. He’s outlasted 1 marriage, 2 boyfriends, several friendships and survived the addition of 2 puppies to his household. I guess I knew what I was doing when I named him after the angel of death (or Gargamel’s cat, depending on who you ask).

  5. I think that our 14 year old Husky gave us enough hints that it was time to call the ball. He would give you this stare that just screamed kill me and then he would chuff and huff around the house and then turn around again and give you the kill me look. We made his last meal a McD Happy Meal so that he could go out in style. Now his little box o’ashes sits on one of our book shelves.

  6. I’m not sure, sometimes animals have a funny way of surprising us. I have a convict fish I can not kill. I tried to flush him down the toilet twice and he got stuck to the bowl. He’s a trooper.

  7. 112 in people years?! Wowza. Is it possible that your cat is murdering other cats & taking their 9 lives, hence his immortality?

    Keep those eyes peeled Posey, dont let Victor take you down!

  8. Jenny, your Posey made me think of Adam’s comic a while back: http://www.booksofadam.com/2011/10/immortal.html

    I giggled (lovingly) at the thought of both Tuna Buttons and Posey in cahoots.

    My mom gave me a kitten for my 5th birthday and he lived to be 20 1/2 (yes, I count that extra half year), and his last, hell, 7 years or so, he was so much like how you describe Posey (minus the sleeping with eyes open).

  9. Awww, Posey doesn’t look so bad! (Judging by the video)

    I have a friend whose cat has a lot of medical problems and she’s younger than Posey (I think?) and looks ten times worse. I love cats, and even that thing creeps me the hell out.

    My mother decided to put our family’s most beloved cat to sleep after he looked in her eyes and she knew he wanted to go. (He was in his teens and had only one eye … plus a recently discovered tumor.) It was sad, but peaceful. Animals always seem to know more than we think they do.

  10. My cat sleeps this way too. And he’s not even old. Posey looks ok to me! Besides, with the canned cat food, who needs teeth?

    I’ve had friends with cats in MUCH worse shape who lived a good long time. Like the one with diabetes. Or Fitch, the huge white Angora who’d had a kitty heart attack & had to have digitalis daily. (I had to stuff it down his throat when they were out of town.)

  11. One of your best posts was when the animal control, or pest control, or whatever guy came to your house, told you Posey was dead, then she meow’ed at him and scared the crap out of him. HILARIOUS! LONG LIVE POSEY!

    The End

  12. love the “trying to growl at the grim reaper following him around.”

  13. Aw he’s wonderful.
    I don’t think most of us balance the INGS enough. Quite frankly, Posey could teach us all a lot… personally, I’d like to learn that cool ‘sleep with one eye open’ trick. I’ve got a lot of reasons to watch my back in my sleep.

  14. You better hope the grim reaper doesn’t have a laser pointer because that cat will follow that shit into hell itself. Please note, this does not work on humans. My ex refused to chase the laser pointer over a cliff. I did your work for you. You’re welcome.

  15. I think Posey is great! And, she’s actually quite pretty! Victor, leave her alone!!!

  16. Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet, I’ve seen worse. My ancient cat did the eyes open thing. He’s not longer with us. And not that he took a trip to Bahamas. 2 1/2 feet under, if you get my drift.

    And really, he probably has to keep at least one eye open, two for safe keeping, because damn Victor is following him around with a hammer! 🙂

  17. Aww, cute story…funny story: “Are you saying our family is unbalanced? Too much pooping, maybe?”
    I was eating oatmeal and blueberries which came a millimeter from shooting out my nose when I read that part. Caught me completely off guard. I really should know better, but I have a naive and unassuming personality flaw that causes me to almost shoot food out of my nose on a regular basis.

  18. Sounds like whatever happens, Posey has led a long, happy life! Hopefully she’ll keep being awesome and punch Victor in the face (metaphorically, of course, with the whole keep livin’ business).

  19. All my parents cats are nearly immortal too — something about the water. Once they hit 15 they look like roadkill for another 3-5 years and then they sleep their way to Jesus. As long as they’re still kicking the -INGs, it just means you’re indulging all their vices and they’re thanking you for letting them impose on you for all those years. Sleep with one eye open, Posey. It freaks the devil out.

  20. Posey looks pretty good in that video to me. Though I did spend a few years of my childhood with a neurotic cat that pulled her own fur out. Nothing like a cat that’s bald and scabby from the shoulder back. Of course she was my cat and I loved her.

  21. Please tell me you’re going to have him stuffed and added to your taxidermy collection if this immortal creature ever passes away. Juanita could use a badass feline sidekick! 😀

  22. I hope posey is immortal! He is probably clinging to life because you have too many taxidermied animals and he doesn’t want that to be his fate.

  23. He’s also allergic to himself and is full of snot. AND LOVE.

    This part made me laugh out loud because it sounds just like my MIL’s cat, whom we call Darth Xander because his chronic sinus problems give him breathing sounds from the Dark Side of the Force. We also call him Face-Hugger, because if you’re not careful within seconds of sitting down in the living room you will have face full of cat as he tries to love you to death.

    Long live Posey! Immortal cats for the win.

  24. Now you’ve given me my INGs for the day…laughing, crying, snorting. I’m pretty sure Posey is going to be our Supreme Overlord someday. LONG LIVE POSEY!

  25. Posey looks nowhere near as bad as my old cat Puff did right before the end of his life. He was completely skin and bones even though he ate all the time. His fur was hideous. He wouldn’t leave my dad alone, sitting on him as soon as my dad wasn’t moving. I think it was payback for the time my dad ran over his tail…

  26. Hang in there, Posey! And beware the ides of March. No wait, nobody cares about March except basketball fans. Beware the eyes of Victor. They’ll give him away if the hammer is behind his back.

  27. My sister had a cat (Jasmine) that lived to be 20+ and the vet would tell her the same thing. “She’s fine, she’s just meaner than the devil!” We think that was why she lived so long. She was so mean the devil didn’t want her and Jesus didn’t want her in heaven. I agree with what Erin said. Love him while you have him.

  28. “I’m pretty sure he’s trying to growl at the grim reaper following him around.” Awesome, Victor!

    I had a cat that lived 18 years and he looked a thousand times shittier than Posey. Posey’s fine.

  29. My cat that we got when I was in first grade lived to be like 22. He looked very much like death warmed over by that point for certain. I still cried. My puppy girl is getting up there and has mobility issues. I cry just thinking about what is inevitably coming. Clearly I need help, but if I didn’t I probably wouldn’t enjoy your blog as much.

    Worst bass-ackwards compliment ever.

    Extra scritches and kitteh snacks to Posey.

  30. Posey is the only cat I like, so he has to be immortal, otherwise I have to tell people I hate cats and then they look at me like I have no heart.

  31. Until he is making obvious attempts at feline suicide, I think he’s happy to be alive.

    Growling at the grim reaper. Heh.

  32. I’m feeling a little judged by some of these comments. I have what my opthamologist calls an incompletel blink. So basically, even when my eyes are closed, they’re a little bit open. It’s a blessing Posey! A BLESSING! Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

    We had a cat who lived to 17. At least Posey has long hair, so you can’t really see the Golum-esque bone structure. At the end, Candy was just a cat skeleton wearing dull calico coat. Regardless of how many Doritos I fed her. Actually when I think about it, she kind of looked like an extra from The Walking Dead. When she could no longer move, my dad fed her some tuna, then took her to meet Jesus.

  33. When I was younger I freaked out my older sisters by sleeping with my eyes open. I don’t think I do it anymore – or at least my husband hasn’t made any comments. Possibly he’s just too scared to mention it.

  34. My cat Baker is 17 going on 18 (this June). He still eats, sleeps, purrs, plays and does the litter thing. Sure, he’s lost a bit of weight, and he too sneezes out teeth, but there’s no way in hell anyone’s coming near him with a hammer! Keep it up, Posey – Senior felines of the world, unite!

  35. I had a cat who looked a bit like that (scraggly and all) that who lived to be 21. The last year she was a little like a zombie cat, what with the sleeping with the eyes open and staggering, but at least she didn’t eat brains. Because she had standards.

  36. Oh wow… Posey needs more loving – maybe that will dry up the snot. Maybe Victor should spend at least half an hour a day petting Posey with a melting heart….

  37. I have a 13-year-old cat who sleeps with both eyes wide open. I check to make sure she’s still breathing all the time, because, well, how on earth else am I supposed to know she’s still alive with her creeptastic eyes? She was already 11 when I adopted her from a shelter, so I knew what I was getting myself into (I’m a sucker–I was only there to adopt a 2-year-old, and I came out with both), but I’m holding out hope that my old cat will stick around for a good, long time. 🙂 Tell the Reaper to suck it, Posey!

  38. This line from Victor made me laugh out loud:
    “I think his purr is busted. I’m pretty sure he’s trying to growl at the grim reaper following him around.”

    As for that sneezing a tooth at you thing, do they make dentures for cats?

  39. I refuse to admit that my cats might ever die. I will have them forever!

    Good on you for sticking with your kitty even though he’s super old. As long as he isn’t in pain, why should you put him down?

  40. My sick husband (tonsillitis) is lying on the couch and dramatically tells me that he is trying not to go to the light. YEAH RIGHT.

  41. Clearly, for Posey, sleeping with his eyes open, IS his plan for immortality. As long as the Grim Reaper stops by and finds Posey, belly up, motionless, eyes wide open and unresponsive; he assumes that Posey has already been claimed. 😉

  42. I recently thought my elderly cat must have fallen to her death when I heard a strange thump come from the adjoining room. I found myself composing epitaphs like “Evil Cat, Faithful Friend,” until she came sauntering into the room, perfectly fine. I think the thump was her hitting the Grim Reaper upside the head.

  43. Your cat probably has feline herpes- this is not like human herpes- it makes them sneeze and generally gives them upper respiratory symptoms. You can buy L-lysine supplements to add to their food which will help with this. Also, I don’t know what you feed your cat, but if you feed it good quality wet food they will generally look and feel better even at an advanced age. http://catinfo.org/ is a good place for learning about why this is the case. Honestly even shitty cheap wet food from the grocery store will probably be better than any kind of dry food.

  44. I raise you one 18 year old cat! She only does 4 of the 5 ing’s. There’s no love there, she hates us all.

  45. is it possible posey may be a tortoise in cat’s clothing? as far as i know, tortoises live to be like 8000 and look dead upon birth (but i’m no expert).

  46. I have an outdoor cat that is about 17, which I think is really old for a cat that is almost always outside. She’s tiny, is just recently afraid of thunderstorms and comes inside, but spends most of the day guarding the chickens or patrolling the yard. We keep thinking we’ll find her dead, but she seems fine, except for the bald spots where she plucks out her fur. Posey is still young!

  47. My cat Polley is almost 17 years old, has lost several of his teeth, and my vet says he’s fine too. He buries his face in my boobs and tells me stories while I fix his dinner. My mom had a 19 year old cat. He might just be faking to throw Victor off his tail before he takes over Texas.

  48. Our cat, Meownce Knowles recently started shedding her claws. . .I repeat: Shedding. Her. Claws. There is nothing more disconcerting than getting out of bed in the morning and stepping barefoot into a spiky clump of feline molting. ((shudder))

  49. I think Posey looks great! I’m not a vet, but I am a vet tech. Just have him checked out regularly and if anything at all changes with him (especially behavior). Sending love to Posey since he clearly gets an inadequate amount from Victor! <3

  50. Long live Posey indeed. And if Victor ever gets a crazy look in his eyes and wants “to spend some quality alone time” with Posey the you just send that ol’ furry joy giver down here to Texas and I’ll find a spot for him on the front porch in the shade.

  51. aahh I was trying to write this and when I hit enter it submitted my comment- so that is the end of hitting enter- I guess this will have to be all one paragraph! I just wanted to say that you are the only person I know who can make an old cat funny. Thanks for brightening my morning!

  52. Well, of course Posey has to sleep with her eyes open, what with Victor skulking about with hammers and what not. Sheesh.

  53. Posey probably speaks telepathically to Victor. I’m pretty sure he knows what’s best. Let him smother the cat, for the love of all things holy. On a side note, I think I want to go gay, and steal Victor away from you. Let me know if he is in favour of this idea.

  54. You could just carry the cat around and then when Victor asks what you’re doing you can say, “Duh, I have a pocket full of Posey”. (Forgive me, I’m sick right now.)

  55. We had a cat named Liba. She made it to 21. Seriously. 21 freaking years old before we had her put down. The lady at the vet asked how old she was, when I told her she said “no, in people years”.

    My response? “Lady, do I LOOK like I count in cat years?”

  56. “The other day he sneezed a tooth at me” made my burst out in laughter so abruptly that I almost threw out my back.

  57. If the vet says he’s healthy and just looks like death warmed over, I’d go with what he says, obviously. 🙂 I have nothing clever or at least that I think is clever to say. I think I’ll go back to my writing.

  58. we just put my 16.5 year old manx down. we thought the kidney failure would get him, but when he started dying his kidneys were functioning well (sneaky cat). so he was just old and dying.

    talking about immortal animals, i had a dwarf hamster that lived to be over three years old. the average lifespan of a dwarf hamster is like 16 months. he was 38 months old. he was almost all black so his name was sirius black (obvs). i fed him meat. little known fact: hamsters are not vegetarians. they eat meat. i would feed him unmarinated steak and bacon with the fatty bits ripped off. some hamsters eat mealworms but i think mealworms are cute and i can’t feed them to other animals.

    but siruis black was as close to ‘immortal’ as any dwarf hamster could get.

  59. Long live Posey! Extra kitteh treats and hugs for you! I have an almost 13 year old lab named Sunshine that is still EXTREMELY healthy. She has cataracts in both eyes, so I know she can’t see well but other than that the vet says she is in really great shape. She could live a long time yet and I hope she does…she’s my big old 55 lb baby.

  60. Oh Posey. Poserino. Posekinsky. Posey McPoserton.

    Poor kitty. My cat is like that – but she’s still eating and peeing and doing all the 5 INGS and so she’s still fighting. My partner made her a coffin and likes to pet her and say “I made you a new home. Yea, you’re going to a new home soon.”

    It’s awful and creepy. It’s like he thinks she can’t hear him.

    She can…!!

  61. Female cats can live up to 30 years. That’s almost twice as long as male cats. Averaging it out is not really a good outcome for anyone. Either you don’t expect your male cat to be as sick and old as they really are or you put your female cat down because she looks like death warmed up and it’s got to be her time.

    Not saying anything about Posey. No cat is a statistic. I hoped my beloved old tomcat would make it to his twenties or at least late teens (like the fictional average cat) but he was euthanized round 14. I don’t think he gave me any messages either but as he lost control of the ‘ings’ he started to have seizures. The first seizure I went to vets asking for help fixing him. The second time I knew we had to stop hurting him.

    I guess I’m saying there’s a point where you just have to act, even if you are still questioning and discussing and rationalizing. I still don’t feel good about it but the alternative was worse. Anyway, best wishes Posey. I hope you’re flaunting your oldness at us years from now.

  62. If the vet says he cool, and he’s still INGing, then Vive La Posie!
    (I’m a vet tech, I should know)
    My the time my cat (Friday the 13th) went, he was 20 years old, had no teeth, only one eye, his fur was constantly matted because he couldn’t clean it properly and he drooled uncontrollably ALL THE TIME. The neighbors though I was going to catch some terrible disease from him…

  63. Have you tried brushing Posey more and changing her [his?] food? If the pills aren’t working, go back and ask for something else.

  64. I had an iguana like that for a while. It was actually the vet that said we should put her down, and me pointing out that she eats and poops and sleeps and just looks really bad. He sighed and gave me pain meds for her, which was nice, but she hated them. So she lived another 8 years or so, looking creepier every year. She would look like she was about to die all the time, dramatically. She was into drama. Then she would perk up ridiculously and eat like 5 iguana meals in one. It made no sense. She was awesome that way.

  65. yea, as long as he can use the toilet, walk, eat and all that. not doing those things is really the sign that a cat is at the end. posey looks spiffy for his age.

  66. I am pretty sure the ING method is an ancient form of medicine. At least you’d think so with the way my great grandma used to push the suppositories…..

  67. I have a 27 1/2 year old cockatiel who doesn’t look as good as he did in his prime, and mostly sleeps a lot these days. But he still does the 5 -INGs (well, not peeing because cockatiels don’t pee). And he still goes exploring and gets into trouble with his bird buddies, he still comes over to get his head rubbed, he still wants attention, he seems happy. So I figure he’s not ready yet. I’m certainly willing to wait until he is.

    So hang in there, Posy. ^_^

  68. One of our cats, who is 12 or 13 in people years, has decided that I am her mother/baby/constant source of everything. It is exhausting, because in addition to following me EVERYWHERE – including the bathroom – she has suddenly become very vocal and is constantly telling me stuff, like “You need to pet me right now – that’s enough!” and “You’re not sitting the right way – move so I can get behind you!” which is really uncomfortable on the toilet.

  69. I had a poodle that lived to be 22. He was blind but could still get down the stairs for Haagen Daz faster than my mother could.

    My husband was in the hospital once and his roomate was an old man who slept with his eyes open. No shit. It was CREEPY.

  70. Two points:
    1. I frequently slept with my eyes open, it used to be called guard duty, now it’s called driving.
    B. Will you please photoshop a set of Clark Gable teeth into Posey. I would die somewhat happier…..

  71. You want to murder your cat? Snort!
    I suggest putting a hat on him – it will help him appear more dapper and lively. A bowler? Or maybe steampunk aviator helmet w/ goggles?
    Our 15 year old Frederick Fancipants would agree – he loves the hats we put on him to help give him a reason to live.

  72. My kitty Baby is almost 16 (sometime this Summer, since I don’t know when her birthday is since she was a stray). She doesn’t even have a real name…Baby (cat).. since she was just supposed to get healthy and find a new home. She sneezes – and snorts and snores. Her fur has always been kinda weird. I think she’s had allergies. Doc once gave me benadryl to inject her with when she has issues. The animals tend to live a long time in my family – I think it’s because we spoil them so much why would they leave? So, we just love em and clean up after em until it’s obvious they are not having a joyful life. You aren’t torturing your cat by letting him live. It’s only torture for you when it’s time to let them go.

  73. Our old girl, Red, was expected to die four years ago, from pemphigus vulgaris (look it up, it’s gross) but this dog is a trooper. She’s been on steroids for so long it’s eventually going to destroy her insides and we know the day is coming. As long as she “INGs” like your poor Gollum cat, she avoids the silver needle and we are given another sweet day with her. Hide the hammer.

  74. This is SOOOO a conversation between my kids’ dad and myself about our cats… As a matter of fact, we just had a similar one this weekend, when my 9 year old cat Obi-Wan kept going outside (he’s been an indoor cat all his life). He told me to just let the cat run away so he can die in peace… Of course, I did have to give up my 18 year old cat last November because she was having issues adjusting to the new baby (and the baby was 6 months old by this time)… I’ll let Old Obi-Wan go when it’s his time (then he’ll be more powerful than you’ll ever know)…

  75. I had a Siamese that I got when I was in first grade, and she was with me until after I got married, 21 years. She was made of evil , and that my friend, is what kept her going. And love- from me of course, because she hated everyone else.

  76. George is our 13 year old who shows zero signs of age. though he rarely does Love-ing, mostly he does let me in and out you morons. I swear one day he will just turn to dust instead of wither and die.

  77. I so know what you mean! My cat that lives with my parents is going on 18. She’s lost a lot of weight over the last five years or so, and every time I go up to visit I ask my mom, “Are you SURE Sassy’s ok? Cuz she looks awfully scrawny.” This cat is indoor/outdoor and has killed just about every form of wildlife smaller than herself except a squirrel. She even caught a bat one night. A bat! Anyway, she’s survived at least three snake bites and God knows how many other kitty adventures. She moves a little more slowly and is probably a bit arthritic, but other than that, the vet swears she’s fine. Hopefully you and Posey will have many more years together. I’m pretty sure Sassy is going to outlast us all.

  78. My parents finally put the cat down last winter, she was twenty-one and a half years old – it was time…
    and a friend of mine had a cat who made it to twenty-four!
    So hang in there, Posey 🙂

  79. Our 13 year old dog is on meds to keep fluid off of her lungs because of a tumor. I do not want her to go to the light, as I have had her longer than we’ve had our kids. And she’s much better mannered than they are and doesn’t require seasonal visits to the sports equipment megastore to empty my bank account. Woof.

  80. At first, I read that your cat’s name is”Poesy” instead of “Posey.” It would be an odd homage to Philip Sidney, but I’m planning on naming my first cat “Jeffry” after a poem I read several years ago, so I’m not judging. And even though this entire conversation could then be named “In Defense of Poesy,” Philip Sidney was a “blithering idiot” (I quote an old professor), so you don’t want to name your cat after him anyway.

  81. Haha! If it makes you feel better, my best friend has a cat named Alley that she inherited from her grandparents when they died. The cat is the same age as us, 24… Yeah. Let that sink in. So Posey could still have 8 years ahead of him 🙂

    Just that I recall, Alley has renal trouble, and now requires an IV to replenish her fluids, she had a hyperthyroid that requires medicine inside her ears, and I think she has another medicine that gets rubbed into her ears… Her claws don’t retract anymore, so they have to be clipped pretty frequently so she doesn’t catch them in the carpet/furniture. She has cataracts in both eyes, and a detached retina in one. Food in general seems to not agree with her. When she pees it sounds like Niagara Falls thoughout the whole house. Yeahhhhh… Just what I recall 😉

    I catsat for her this summer and was CONVINCED I would find her dead. But I am certain she’s immortal.
    She’s starting to remind me of this tale:

  82. My kid sleeps with his open like that….at least he snores, so it’s not very often I have to get the mirror out.

  83. I had a fish that committed suicide by leaping out of its tank. It’s pretty bad when you’d rather suffocate than swim in the tank I provided. I think that fish was just an asshole. I’m sure Posey’s perfectly nice.

  84. My kitteh is going on 19 and is still climbing trees, chasing strings, causing a ruckus in the garage, and chomping down dry food with all his teeth. No medical problems beyond the occasional cantankerous incontinence. He’s slowed down a little bit when climbing down from high places, but he’s got all those 5 INGs and then some. Age is but a number for kitties, as long as they aren’t suffering more than normal old age pains. Sounds like Posey just has those and nothing more. Ain’t any reason to kill ’em just ’cause they’re old. It’s only when they’re in pain that it matters.

  85. Posey looks pretty good for his age. I finally had to say goodbye to my childhood pet cat when he was was 18. He was blind, hyperthyroid, in kidney failure and puked at least once a day. He was white and my husband called him “Skeletor” because his pupils were always fully dilated. He had very few teeth left and his upper lips would get stuck in his lower canines, giving him a weird grin. He purred louder than a freight train and would kick our younger cats ass when he bumped into him because he couldn’t see. It broke my heart to euthanize him when the time came, but he definitely let me know when it was time. You’ll know too…

  86. If you find tools in the cat bed, Victor might be right. But I don’t think cats know the difference between a Philips head and a hammer, so it could be anything. Just be on the lookout.

  87. Our cat lived to be 21. He was doing fine until the last six months, and he lost bladder control AND all his teeth. He definitely wanted to be done. But it still felt like euthanizing grandpa for needing dentures and Depends.
    Posey looks pretty good for 112, you’ll know when the time is right.

  88. I think Posey looks fine!
    Of course, my cat just had her 18th birthday while at the vet getting her thyroid treated with iodine 131. So I have to store her radioactive urine for 3 weeks until it’s inert. I’ve looked, and it doesn’t glow in the dark, which is mildly disappointing. Oh, and a couple of weeks ago I noticed my cat sleeping with her eyes open. Creepy, but I guess the old girls have to do that, just to make sure they can run – well, walk quickly – from the grim reaper.

    I’m sure your vet’s on it, but sometimes it takes a while – and repeated blood tests – to get the dosage right on the thyroid drug.
    Go, Posey!

  89. I have very similar conversations with my husband about my 15 year old dog – who I’ve had longer than I’ve had the husband. Hopefully I’ll know when it’s really time – the vet doesn’t think we’re there yet…

  90. Posey might be a little bit deaf. My cat (who died at 21) started to sleep hard and wouldn’t wake up unless you touched him. Well, he would wake up on his own, of course, just if you called him, he’d keep sleeping. Took me a while to figure out that he was going deaf.

  91. I love that Victor specified that he wants you to kill him *with a hammer* when he’s 112.

    …just so we’re clear, do not use a pillow. No axe, no rope, no lead pipe in the conservatory, a HAMMER.
    It’s so important to leave instructions with your loved ones about these end-of-life arrangements. What a thoughtful man.


    I called my vet just yesterday regarding my (not even 2 year old) ginger cat because he won’t stop sneezing but his other behavior (being a complete asshole) hasn’t changed in the slightest. She said that if his behavior other than the sneezing hasn’t changed, to blame seasonal allergies. DO NOT GET THE HAMMER. Posey will outlive us all.

  93. I feel for you. My Oreo was 112 in people years and she finally passed away in my arms last month. I still miss the grumpy old bear. I am pretty sure she put in her own grimm reaper request as I wouldn’t do it. I hope Posey lives forever for you!

  94. Looks like Posey’s already practicing for being dead. Does she at least still have teeth? ‘Cause if she does, she’s doing better than my own 16-year-old cat. Poor Tiger just had all his fangs removed. The vet claims they were all developing abcesses but I think he’d just seen “Twilight” too many times and had some kind of feline vampire phobia. Maybe we should fix him up with Posey. It could be like Love Among the Ruins [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvRYmZuqdck]. But with cats!!!

  95. I had to send my big orange kitty Mojo across the bridge a few days ago. He was 15 and diabetic. Not doing well at all. I cried for days. I still miss him. He loved my daughter when she was little. I still remember one morning. She had a sleep over with a friend, and they had chose to camp out in the living room. It was an old house and Mojo was a good mouser. When I walked into the living room in the morning there was a mouse laid neatly on the pillow in front of my daughter’s face. Being the loving mother pet owner that I am, I didn’t want to spoil his lovely surprise. So I leaned in close and said “Lizzy, oh Lizzy. Mojo loves you”. Her eyes opened sleeply, then she focused on the little carcass inches from her face and jumped out of bed. She had some very unkind things to say about me and the cat. Ungrateful or what?

  96. Girl cat sleeps with her eyes open here too and has since she was a baby. I just assume she’s keeping an eye out for ghosts. (Same as she does when she’s awake).

  97. My best friend had a cat that lived to be 23 before they had to put him down. He was still active outdoors and unfortunately a car clipped him, breaking his jaw. It wouldn’t heal so they had to do it. That cat was so laid back yet full of attitude. Until that happened, he was pretty normal. Except for the fact he really liked to pee on people’s windshields. I wouldn’t call that normal…except for him it was.

  98. Just know that Posey looks fabulous compared to my nearly 20 year old chihuahua before he went to “visit Jesus”. At that point, he had lost so many teeth, he couldn’t keep his tongue in his mouth anymore. And then there was the homemade doggie wheelchair. Functional but embarrassing (for all involved).

  99. Joanna- comment 75.
    I srsly thought you meant the vet. I am still laughing.

    Vive l’Posey!

  100. My cat lived until 19 and probably would have gone longer than that but we finally decided to let him go when the vet told us, cheerfully, that his kidneys were failing but that he’d be JUST FINE if we gave him weekly fluid injections.

    Yeah. I wasn’t going to do that to him. He wasn’t eating well anymore and just…wasn’t himself anymore. I couldn’t bear the thought of extending that.

    So, if Posey is happy, in reasonably good health for her age, and still seems to be enjoying life, no reason to hurry things along. You’ll know when the time is right.

  101. “I think he might be immortal.”

    Oh my goodness, I say this about my cat ALL the time. Tigger (aka Fatty McFleabag) will turn 16 this month. She’s obese, diabetic (which means my life revolves around twice-daily insulin shots), and suffers from an anxiety disorder and a slight limp on her back leg. Several people have told me it’s time for me to put her down, and I would never keep an animal alive if it were suffering, but it seems she’s not, and my vet confirms this. She’s a happy cat (around me…she hates everyone else), and the vet feels like she’s doing pretty well for a fat, old, crazy, diabetic pain in my ass.

    Much love to Posey.

  102. I have a cat who is somewhere between 17 and 19, although could be 21. He will NOT die! He’s in fantastic health, even his teeth. I had a very expensive cleaning done a few years ago, because the vet told me it would probably hold him a few years until he died. Ummmm, he’s not dying! His breath stinks and he drools that stinky breath everywhere. He looks all raggly-taggly, but he’s in great health.

    I’m waiting…..*tapping foot*

  103. Posey and my 19 year old cat, Rascal, should totally hang out together. He’s had a few health issues, but for the most part they work back out again. I know it’s only a matter of time, but I’m enjoying all the time I get with him. I’ve had him for 12 years. He outlasted my ex-husband. He usually greets me at the door when I’ve been out, so I admit, I do tend to panic if he’s not there when I come home. He DOES sleep a lot more than he used to, and sometimes his eyes are little slits like Posey’s. Taking him to the vet for his annual exam tomorrow, so we’ll see how the old-timer is doing then!

  104. You should get Posie irradiatied for her thyroid.. It works 95%. And for about a month, you have a radioactive cat, which is awesome.

  105. My cat is only 3 and she sleeps with her eyes open (totally creepy.) So Posey’s not doing anything abnormal 🙂 When Posey got up after you disturbed him from his slumber (I would have too – I check my 12 year old cat relentlessly when she’s sleeping), he got up really quickly and seemed just fine. No worries – he’s good to go (or stay…)

  106. Oh my dear. Take it from someone who had to put her beloved cat of 18 years down in October… you will absolutely know when it’s time. My husband and I had several discussions about our sweet cat. But one day… she became really sick and we knew it was time. It broke our hearts so I feel for you.

  107. it’s not just cats. my dog does it too. Except he was raised by a cat. and i’m pretty convinces he thinks he’s a cat. so maybe it is just cats….and dogs that have identity issues.

    nevermind i don’t even have a point.

  108. Not gonna lie, Posey looks pretty damn good for a 16 year old cat. Go awesome Cat Momma, raising him right! Or, maybe you just got lucky. Either way, as a veterinary assistant, I give Posey 2 thumbs up.

  109. My cat lived to be 16, and when the arthritis in his legs got so bad he couldn’t make it to the litter box and was essentially starving himself because he coudln’t make it to his food bowl 5 feet away, I decided that his quality of life was pretty low and put him down. If you’re cat can still shit and eat by himself, I’d say he’s worth keeping around!

  110. Posey looks like my 20-year old cat, Kiss. Except Kiss is black and white (like gene simmons).

    She’s also deaf, and reacts just like Posey did in the video–you have to touch her or stomp the floor to wake her up. It’s awesome because I can vacuum literally around her and she won’t move. But when she’s startled she pees herself a bit, so we have pee pads in every spot she sleeps.

    She has thyroid issues, like Posey, and the meds helped her out so she’s holding steady at “deathly skinny” rather than “dead”. And she pees like a motherfucker because her kidneys are going.

    SHE WILL NEVER DIE Thank god. I love her so damn much.

  111. So my cat is now called the Lazuras (lets all pretend that spelled right) cat. In December he went to the vet because he couldnt breathe and they found out he was in heart failure. The vet let me take him home for the weekend thinking on Monday that he would need to be put down, so almost 4 months later and he is on medication but doing well. Each time I take him to the vet he just looks at him and says the same thing. ” I have no idea how your cat isnt dead, seriously how is he still alive.” He will be 14 in May and I hope he lives as long as your little guy and even half as happy.

  112. He sneezed a tooth at you? I had a cat who lost a tooth at about 14 years of age. Suddenly his snotty snout cleared up — apparently he had had an infection under the tooth that was making his nose run. Once the tooth was gone the infection was gone and so was the snot. He lived for another 2 years, eating, drinking, peeing, pooping, and loving, although he did with obvious annoyance just as he always had done.

    It took longer than 2 years to eventually clean up all the cat snot off the baseboards.

  113. I think I have you all beat. Kitty Kitty lived to be an amazing 23 years old. Kept doing all the “ING” things right up to the last several months and then went deaf and everything else followed rather quickly. I got her from a friend who insisted she wasn’t even a year old. The vet looked at her and said she’s at least 7 years old. Oh well 🙂 If you looked in the dictionary for a definition of “scaredy cat” there would be Kitty Kitty’s picture. She had some real name long ago, but as many cat owners will attest, they don’t come when you call them so we stopped naming them. (Not really…they just got some variation of Kitty…Mamma Kitty, Kitty, Kitty Kitty, Kitty Girl) Lots of love and scritches to Posey!! Long live Posey

  114. Posey still has very bright eyes. She’s good. Cats tell you with their eyes (patches, 15yo diabetes and renal failure and buddy, 10yo, chest mass) or they go and hide (bob, 4 months old, renal failure, likely genetic abnormality) or you find them dead in the hall like they fell over just walking down the hall. (yup, true story, thanksgiving 1994, sam the cat (his fullname), fun times).

  115. My two kids missed the kitten stage of our cats lives. They now try daily to shock them into having a cat attack & dying. They think if they die they get a kitten. Wrong. They die, we get to go petless!

  116. Well, it’s a tough call. I think we’d need to see a new picture of Posey. I know it’s hard to let go of pets… Big hugs to you!

  117. My cats have always slept with open eyes. I think it’s a cat thing. They have a third membrane that covers the eye when they sleep.

    And he looks awesome for 112…Victor can only HOPE to look that good at 112. We should all have a cat’s life…sleep, eat, poop, scratch the furniture, sleep, eat, poop, steal something off the counter…sleep some more. Ahhhhh…..

    I want to be a cat. Or something like that. My dog has it pretty good too.

  118. I love Posey. I think Posey is plotting Victor’s death. Never can be too sure, Victor. With that one eye open thing going.

  119. I’m pretty sure our 19 year old cat Shiva is immortal too. She weighs about 3 pounds at this point and looks crazed all the time, but she still eats, purrs, and putters around outside. She also sleeps more than I would have thought possible and she was always a throw pillow of a cat (no really, when my parents were trying to sell their house, the realtor honestly didn’t realize that we had a second cat, because Shiva spent so much time sleeping on the couch in a puffy grey ball). I told the kids that we can’t get a dog until Shiva passes on, so now my 5 year old fairly frequently asks “When the cat is going to die, so we can get a dog?” Mayhap I should not have named her after the goddess of destruction.

  120. I think the 5 “ings” are a good measure. We had an elderly cat start sleeping in the cat box. I thought it was a clue, but Mother managed to rationalize it in some way and the damned thing lived another year.

    On the other hand, does Posey have a stash of unicorn blood hidden somewhere?

  121. My NEPHEW sleeps with his eyes open. It’s super creepy. He hasn’t Children-of-the-Corn’d us yet, but he’s only nine. There’s still time.

  122. oh honey…I so understand. I was running a geriatric clinic for pets for the last few years. My poor cat finally crawled outside to go and die 🙁 We never found him sadly, and we finally had to put our 15 y/o german shepherd mix down just a few months ago. I have one 5 year old dog that is just fine, and one 15 year old cat with cancer who does NOT look fine, but he is still hanging on just like your Posey. My husband says he looks like he is ready to meet Jesus as well…I am also not looking forward to the questions from my toddlers when he finally does “go into the light.”

  123. Poor Posey. A friend’s cat has similar issues… allergic to himself, lost almost all his teeth, was allergic to all foods except for rabbit and peas… Also, he was a persian, so he had constant respiratory infections. He was pretty much the ugliest cat ever, but was a complete sweetheart.

    Though even with his health issues, I think Posey has one of the cutest faces.

    I hope he feels less like death soon.

  124. We too have a rabbit that is well past it’s expiration date. This one is 12 years old, has lived in 4 homes, moved across the country twice, and still wants to fuck like a porn star. I swear there must be Viagra in his lettuce.

  125. Awww. He doesn’t look that bad! My cat’s eyes look like that sometimes too when she sleeps curled upside-down like that.

  126. Um, not trying to be mean, but you do have a taxidermist in the family still, right? So what’s the problem? Isn’t it a win-win situation? You can still be with Posey AND don’t have to worry about anyone digging her up.

  127. Posey looks amazing for 112 – still has his fur and everything. It could be much worse…

  128. The cat I grew up with lived to a month shy of 23, so Posey has lots of good years left if he wants to stick around. Go Posey!!

  129. The cat I grew up with lived to be AT LEAST 24 years old. I say at least because she was fully grown when we adopted her from the street. She looked pretty thin her last several years. But she also tried to kill our 1-year-old cat on a daily basis up until she passed away. Like, stalked her, chased her, and attached her every single day. I think it kept her young.

  130. Sleeping with your eyes open must be a cat thing. Our 10-ish-year-old diabetic kitty, Marsh, sleeps the same way. Usually it’s while he is sprawled across the couch between me and my husband. I think it’s because he’s always hoping someone will go in the kitchen to feed him. 🙂

  131. Posey looks like my mother in laws cat did, same coloring even. Tigger looked like he should have been dead but he was like a million years old when they finally had to put him down. I think he eventually got renal failure, long after we all thought he should have been dead.

  132. What a pretty kitty! Posey’s a sweetie. I hope he keeps doing the five INGs for a long time.

    My malevolent mutant midget cat also sleeps with her eyes open. In this case, I understand exactly why. We have three other cats. It’s pretty much a given that sooner or later there will be a cat fight. Toki’s main goal in life is to not be there when it happens. (Except when she starts them, in which case her goal is to blame it on another cat and get away.)

  133. My cat Squishy, (yes his name is Squishy, shut up about it already) is 13 and is quite possibly the most miserable looking cat alive. He removes his own fur. I keep hoping that I will wake up to find that he has died peacefully in his sleep, because, like your cat, he’s doing all of the INGs just fine. He just looks like he’s died three times and then been warmed up in the microwave.

    Now, my OTHER cat… is immortal. She’s 13 too. She is pocket-sized and has looked like a kitten her entire life. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with her, never has been, and, since she is definitely some sort of vampire, probably never will be. At least she doesn’t sparkle.

  134. Cats and dogs have an inner eyelid (nictating membrane) that protects their eyes once their outer eyelid gets about halfway shut. So if the light doesn’t bother them, their eyes are fine. We’ve had more than one cat live to be 20 or more, so I wouldn’t be pushing Posey toward the light anytime soon.

    Speaking of which, someone’s 10-year-old daughter (OK, mine) was watching the dramatic and tearful scene in “The Hunger Games” where Rue is dying and decided that would be a good point to stage-whisper, “Don’t go into the light!” I know that at least five other people seated near us had to stifle outbursts of laughter during a sad movie moment. And yes, she knew exactly what she was doing … although I don’t know where she gets that.

  135. Still thinking about your cat. So I plan to try sleeping (upside down, like your cat) with my eyes open tonight. But I am not planning to sneeze teeth.

  136. A poem I wrote several years ago:


    Animals will do what they do.
    It’s just the way they’re made, you see.
    Like that grizzled old cat who
    Slept on your face and ate brie.
    Animals will do what they do.
    His last meow meant, “Let me be.”
    Animals will do what they do.
    It’s just the way they’re made, you see.

  137. OMG!!! This is the same conversation held at my house on a daily basis, except I’m Victor and my husband is you. I keep encouraging our cat, Missy (18yrs old) to go visit (& STAY with), Buster, our dear departed kitty from previous years.

  138. LOL…usually I just get annoyed when people type LOL, but I really need to paint a picture here about what I was doing while reading this. My mom didn’t put her dog down until he started wedging his body into small spaces (that she would have to use everything short of The Jaws of Life to extract him from), because he was just waiting (hoping) for death to claim him. This was after complete vision, hearing, bladder, and bowel control loss.

  139. Awww posey! I had a cat for 20 years who went to be with Jesus. It’s never easy. But I feel the same as you. As long as they’re eating and pooping, they’re fine. Keep that hammer close!

  140. Posey looks great!! Alive and kickin’! Hey, I’ve seen humans half as old who look 10 times worse so I think Posey’s doing a pretty darn great job…although sneezing out a tooth is a little concerning. 😛

  141. You are awesome. It’s the highlight of my Facebook surfing time when I see one of your posts posted. Keep up the great work!

  142. That cat looks very healthy and happy for a 16 year old cat! My cat is almost 15 and is still doing great, even after the vets nearly killed him trying to clean his ears under anesthesia. Victor needs to lay off the poor thing, he does NOT look sickly at all to me, he just looks like an old cat! Old cats tend to do that eye-open-thing, my cat has done that a few times too. And considering Victor’s talk, I’d keep my eyes open too if I were him!

  143. In my head your cat and my 17-year-old cat are having a contest to see who lives longer and who looks less like death. If they met they’d probably verbally spar, as curmudgeonly old men do, about all their ailments and who is worse off.

  144. So, where’s the video if the f’d up cat? I didn’t see anything seriously wrong in that video. Don’t put Posey down. Didn’t the vet just say Posey is ok? just looks bad? There’s you argument ender, right there.

  145. I’ve never had a cat that didn’t outlast at least two of my relationships. Of course, that may say more about me than about my cats…

  146. My cat is 18+ years old. He looks like death warmed over. We call him the zombie cat since we’re pretty sure he died several years ago and is just waiting for the zombie apocalypse.

  147. Jenny I feel for you. I have a 16 year old cat that frankly Dr. Kevorkian would have offed years ago. Flash would be a skeleton if he were such a fluffy bastard. He walks with a pronounced limp on his rear hind leg that makes him resemble a pirate, (and I am not talking Johnny Depp here.)
    The fact that he has been in so many fights that one eye is stitched nearly shut does not help. (btw… that nearly shut eye NEVER shuts… so he sleeps with one eye half open as well. Creepy shit, Jenny. Creepy shit.)
    His meow is raspy and sounds more like the noise a 90 year old cigar smoker might make if you jabbed them with a pin. It would be a shriek if it weren’t for the cigar thing, has been like that since he was a kitten. Like any good 90 year old cigar smoking cat he has a deep rattling, hacking, phlegmy cough that makes you want to gag, it’s really just him hacking a hair ball but it never fails to make everyone in hear shot want to vomit.
    He has outlasted 3 dogs, 2 cats, legions of fish, a husband and two homeless penises (boyfriends for those of you fortunate enough not to date.)
    He has been hit by a car, shot (still has buckshot in one hip, hence the pirate walk) and had his tail broken.
    Nothing stops this cat, it’s like he is the Terminator. This cat laughs at death, ok… it’s a wet phlegmy hacking laugh… but he is laughing. I really think the Reaper is so disgusted by my cat he just won’t take him.
    Maybe that is what keeps Posey ticking! Immortality through disgust. Maybe that is why really, really old people look like they do. At any rate, I say let Posey keep sneezing his teeth at Death. Long live our nasty cats!

  148. Maybe Posey is pretending and really wants to hit it on with Victor. You never know. Cats are sly like that, I’d watch my back if I was you…

  149. My vet told me my ancient (18 year old) neutered tom was going to die in two weeks. That was two YEARS ago. He is also up to speed on all five of his “INGS” and puttering around just fine (smacked the crap out of my 60 pound dog this morning when the poor canine had the balls to try and edge past the old man’s personal ray-of-sunshine on the way out the door for a constitutional).

    I am pretty sure he took the docs estimate a personal challenge.

  150. Posey has to wait for someone to close the window so God can open the door again.

    Our cat has asthma, so she purrs like a locomotive.


  151. Posey and Silhouette have a great deal in common; Silly is 21 now — toothless and his fur is falling out, but he, too, is eating, drinking, peeing, pooping, and loving (not to mention demanding). I call my ancient mariner “The Once and Future Cat.” He does seem to be prepared to stay around forever.

    So all our love to Posey! (And you, for loving him back!)

  152. Jen,

    My Bashful kitty was 19 when he passed (in October). He had had diabetes for over 10 years, was getting insulin shots twice a day and then in the last year also developed Hyper-T like your kitty (I thought the same thing when I took him in). Hyper T is very treatable. I am going to provide a link to a support group that is incredibly helpful with caregiving Hyper-T kitties. They can answer a lot of questions for you and provide guidance. Like Feline Diabetes, there is often a little more to it than what the vet may suggest. Have you gotten Posey rechecked since his initial diagnosis? They generally will test their blood every 4-6 weeks at first until you get to the right dosage amount for the meds you put on his ears. Getting the right amount can go a long way to making him feel better. Here’s the website: http://pets.groups.yahoo.com/group/feline-hyperT/. After treatment Bash was doing a LOT better and was also doing much better with his diabetes (who knew that Hyper T affected his glucose numbers so much?) . We live and learn. It was cancer in the end that took him over the Rainbow Bridge. I gave him palliative care until he told me it was time. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do – he was my little buddy and I still miss him. But he had a wonderful long life, and he greatly enriched mine for over 19 years. Feel free to write back if you need more info.

    But as long as Posey is feeling okay and doing all his “P’s” (a/k/a “Ings”), enjoy his time with you. We don’t kill people just because they are old and a little ragged around the edges and moving slower – why would we do that with our fur babies? It’s quality of life that matters. If he’s happy, let him enjoy his golden years with you. You’ll know when it’s time.

    p.s. LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog – you bring joy and laughter into my life on a regular basis. 🙂
    pps. Bashful also slept with his eyes part way open (and usually rolled back in his head so the whites were showing) – and he also had a habit of sleeping on his back with his legs sticking up in the air…used to freak me out, cause I always walked into the room thinking he’d croaked. I usually ended up touching him to make sure he was still breathing…LOL He always was.

    Big hugs and loves to Posey!


  153. Oh, girl.

    I just about choked on my own spit.

    Thank you for consistently making me snort at inappropriate times at work.

  154. I just watched the video of Posey….and then the one at the snake farm. First…is that Victor feeding the goats the paper bag?

    Secondly, you have the voice of a sweet-tempered kindergarten teacher. It so soft and gentle and reassuring that I have trouble imagining it saying things like, “Imply that my righteous and justified milk fury is PMS and I will punch you in the junk while you sleep. I will smash that lamp and I WILL GUT YOU WITH IT.” (From “I WILL KILL EVERYBODY.” JULY 31, 2011)

    Just thought I’d mention it.

    ps: i was really looking for a Copernicus quote but found this instead and thought it would admirably do the job.

  155. He looks awesome for 112. Cats just get that funky around the edges look when they get old, like the little old ladies in the supermarket wearing sweaters in August with their hair combed in the front and all crazy up in back. I agree; Victor would be damn lucky to look that good at 112.

  156. I would fear for your other pets. It sounds like Posey sucks the life out of them. That is what we figured Pavane, our 17+ year old dog, did as she out lived the two dogs and cat that we got in the years after we got her. When my mom put Pavane down I don’t think there was anything wrong with her except that she looked like crap and just slept all day. Now that I think about it, it kind of makes me mad.

    So Posey keep sucking the life out of the animals around you … but perhaps only wild animals like squirrels and metal chickens.

  157. I kind of wonder if maybe Posey is deaf. And then I also wonder if Posey may have come really near to dying when you woke her up from a deep deaf sleep. But keep that idea in mind for when the hammer time comes (not MC Hammer’s hammer time, but Victor’s hammer of death time) and maybe you can scare your cat awake to death. Think about it.

  158. Just letting you know that even if Victor won’t let you kill the cat you kill me with every post. 😉 I just bought some shit from your shop. Hope it gets here by the 19th so I can wear my new “Bless your stupid heart” t-shirt to our next staff meeting. 😉 Love you.

  159. crap forgot to put this in my last comment, do you plan to have Posey stuffed to join the collection when he does go to Jesus?

  160. send him to Jesus this weekend. Just dont hang him on a cross and tangle his head in prickles….. been there. done that. Praise Jesus. bwahahaha

  161. We have had 2 geriatric cats die in the past couple of years, one 16 and the other one 19. I spent a lot of time with each of them just holding them, petting them and listening to them purr daily for several months before they each died. It was time well spent. I hope Posey keeps doing the 5 ings as long as he has quality of life.

  162. 🙁 I just had to put my 18yr old cat down TODAY. *sniff* Thank you for your perfect timing and making me laugh!

  163. Posey IS really freaky sleeping with his eyes open! You should tell Victor he’s just practicing for when he’s taxidermied.

  164. Posey is giving hope to all of us who love our cats and dread the day they we have to let them go. My Mooch lived to be 21. She died 11 years ago and I still miss her. XXXXOOO

  165. My cat was 20 when we murdered him (don’t come after me, folks, all of his teeth had fallen out and a tumour was pressing on his throat making swallowing almost impossible. Not putting him down was akin to starving him to death)

    Anyway, 20. Victor doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about. The cat deserves a medal, not one you pin on though… you only make that mistake once.

  166. My 15 year old cat looks just like Posey. Maybe they were (Irish) twins? Dexter is slowing down as well, but I still think he’ll be around forever..

  167. Long live Posey!
    Listen to the vet…
    My brother sleeps with his eyes open. Creepy, but we let him live.

  168. My grandma’s cat live to be 22. He probably would have lived forever, but he fell off a chair and sprained his leg and stopped pooping, so they had to put him down. I really think he was waiting to die with my grandma though.

  169. The only way Posey’s ready to visit Jesus is if he’s suddenly found religion. He doesn’t look like he’s ready to shuffle off this mortal coil any time soon, though the eyes open sleeping thing is creepy beyond reason.

  170. Bloggess, I’ve been reading your wonderful blog for a while now and never commented, but I just had to remark how your cat Posey looks just like my late cat Sunny, who we also thought was immortal. He wasn’t full of snot though, mostly vomit and hairballs. But Sunny looked like he was just mere weeks from meeting the Reaper for the last 3 or 4 years of his life until he stopped eating in January and we finally put him down.

    I’m not saying that’s going to happen to Posey, I was just hit with a flash of nostalgia for Sunny who we’d had since I was 11. I am saying I might steal your cat though. Only for a while.

  171. As a person with Fibromyalgia, I’ve endured scoffs of “Well, you *look* just FINE” from strangers in waiting rooms, nurses, family, the occasional doctor. So there have been times when I honestly prayed to look as bad I felt.

    Maybe somehow the parry got reversed and misrouted. Sorry, kitty. I’ve got your back. Your icky, icky back.

  172. As a person with Fibromyalgia, I’ve endured scoffs of “Well, you *look* just FINE” from strangers in waiting rooms, nurses, family, the occasional doctor. So there have been times when I honestly prayed to look as bad I felt.

    Maybe somehow the prayer (autocorrect sux) got reversed and misrouted. Sorry, kitty. I’ve got your back. Your icky, icky back.

  173. I just want to say, that I have known many cats to sleep with their eyes open. Two of my cats would start to creepily open their eyes when they were in a deep sleep, with their paws moving to whatever was going on in their dreams. They started when they were young. And those cats were badasses. So maybe it’s a badass cat thing.

  174. This has probably been covered but he probably has kidney failure. You can change his diet and give him subcutaneous fluids at home. I went through it with my fur baby whom we lost in October. It was about the worst day of my life. <3

  175. We had to put our 18-year-old cat down a couple weeks ago because he’d lost 2 lbs. in 2 months and was NOT, in fact, doing the five ‘ings’ any more. Mostly, he wasn’t eating. It was sad. I hope you don’t have to let Posey go.

  176. My mom’s cat Alia is 19. She acts…well like a demanding, evil queen. She has my parents at her every beck and call. *I* can’t believe she’s 19, and my cat Onyx was her father!! We had to put him down at the age of 14. (we had lots of litters of kittens for a long time; Alia is the last of the line that started with my very first cat, Kahn and a grey striped barn wench named Patty, and I’m convinced she’s got the “There can be only ONE” thing going, because my parents won’t even entertain the thought of another cat because it would upset Alia.)

    She’s mostly Siamese (she’s all black) and does alot of howling and yowling; but my parents got pet steps a few years ago for her and the other old biddy (who sadly shuffled off this mortal coil two years ago. I think Alia misses her.) up to all her favorite spots, she still catches mice and chipmunks, (they get in the back hall somehow) and generally runs the place. All this rambling to say…GO POSEY!! And hoark something in Victor’s shoes just to make a point. *nodnodnod*

  177. The 5ings reminds me of the funniest passage I ever read in a text book. It was in into to psych and was talking about the 4 f’s that hypothalamus controls and I quote “feeding, fighting, fleeing, and mating.” I will never forget….

  178. I’m pretty sure you just summarized the Meaning of Life: eating, drinking, pooping, peeing and loving. What else is there?

  179. What an awesome cat. 🙂 I thought my mom’s dog was going to last forever. (The dog lived until she about 19 years people age). I watched the video, and boy does he sure has a loud purr! I’m still thinking about adding a dog to my home since I already have a cat. 🙂

  180. Okay, Jenny, I think Victor really needs to read this, too. You go get him. I’ll wait …

    (Random elevator music of a now bastardized 80s tune like ‘Karma Chameleon’)

    Oh, hi. Victor. We haven’t met. My name is ODNT and I wanted to talk to you a minute about Jenny and Posey. You see, I used to have an insulin-dependent, incontinent, nerve-disordered, skin-lesioned grey tabby. He was a polydactyl so, naturally, we named him Toby. I loved that cat more than anything in the world. So much so that I spent thousands of dollars over the years to maintain his health and overcame my needle phobia to administer the two daily shots he needed for seven years. During the last months of his life, we made and cancelled that horrible appointment three times before finally going through with it. I was bursting with pregnancy at the time. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made. Toby was barely hanging on and probably wouldn’t have lived as long as he did in the first place without our intervention. Still, I couldn’t help but feel I was playing God (or whatever deity cats subscribe to). I even had a few nightmares about it afterwards.

    My point? I really think you should wait until you both agree on this decision. The whole thing is hard enough to endure without having a squabble (and inevitable resentment) between you.

    I feel for Posey and all of you guys. I hope for the best. Hugs.

  181. In the end (and I’ve been to “The End” with more than a few myself) there is no choice. There is do, or not do. You, and the Vet you trust will know. It just sucks, especially with kids, no way around it. It just needs to happen, and you can’t avoid it.

    But every cat or dog I loved as a kid made me a better person, so I just try to convey that to the kids best I can. What more can you do?

  182. I rescued two sister cats 12 years ago. Last year I discovered one of them had liver cancer. I asked the vet is she was in pain, and he told me cats are very stoic. I took her home, and when I knew it was time, I slept on an air mattress in the living room, because she could no longer jump on my bed. I offered her food and water at regular intervals, and I swear she faked drinking to please me. About 2 am I woke to a loud MEOW, when she ran to me, and laid down and took her last breaths. I could not let her go alone. Her sister and I miss her dearly!

  183. I know how you feel Jenny. I have a kitty kitty who wants to go see Jesus, but I just can’t bring myself to put her down. She’s losing her hair, she’s agoraphobic, she used to spend her days sleeping and crapping under our kitchen sink until I put the trash can in there and then she moved to the washing machine and she was sleeping and crapping in there. Until I almost washed her one day. I picked her up and banned her from the washing machine. For selfish reasons I suppose. I didn’t want to be throwing my stuff in the dryer…….towel, towel, wash cloth, wash cloth, dish towel, dish towel, oh crap……..sassy?

  184. My parents have a cat who is older than me (I am 23). She is well ready to go and meet Jesus, but she just won’t go. Apart from her being deaf, blind, epileptic and with alzheimer’s and artheritis, she is perfectly healthy and seems content to sleep on laps for another few years.

  185. Well my Mom and I inherited a new cat when my Step-Dad moved in.

    He’s big and rangy and looks like he’s constantly starving because he has to be on a strict diet so his diabetes doesn’t come back. He’s 17 and still howls outside my door each morning at 5 to be fed. I’m sure Posey will be fine. (:

  186. Anne Klein the cat is 17. She is starting to look like a pissed off skinny ass version of herself, but her rountine has not changed at all and I am in denial that she will EVER die.

    Long live immortal cats.

  187. I actually think Posey looks quite nice. My cat is only two and his fur sticks up the exact same way!

    Keep your eyes open, Posey! Don’t let them take you!

    P.S. Is it just me, or did anyone else have the urge to bury their face in Posey’s fluffy neck fur during that video? Precious!

  188. My mom was a vet-tech for 27 years, and after reading this to her, she said that Posey may have a respiratory infection due to a rotting tooth. You mentioned he sneezed one at you. That’s just sad. But we had a cat one time that had a rotted tooth, and a hole was in it that let bacteria get into the tissue of his sinuses. After the tooth was removed, and the infection cleared up, he was fine. I hope this helps 🙂 LOVE YOUR BLOG!!!!

  189. Posey will go visit CatJesus when he is good and ready. My immortal left us at 21 years old, not a day before she was ready. Nora was skinny, losing her teeth (then her catlip would get caught in her gum and she looked like an Elvis impersonator) and mostly deaf. She slept with her eyes open for the last several years of her life, also. It was awesome! She was Awesome. Nora outlived 6 other cats that came and went during her 21 year reign. She slipped away peacefully last fall. The lantana beside her in the back yard has never looked better.

  190. Posey looks great!

    I have a 5 year old cat that sleeps about 23 h 37 min / day; perfectly healthy. just prefers her dreams to reality.
    the 23 minutes a day are: 5 for eating 3 for litter box 10 for outside and 5 for grooming. (we get yelled at if we aren’t around to let her in when she is ready.

    She also trusts our German Shepard to guard her while she sleeps in the garden in the summer, out cold!
    OUr other kitty however, he is always on guard even in the house.

  191. I had a cat that was about 21 years old, she also slept with her eyes open.

  192. A friend of mine had a cat who was around 19. He looked like shit too but was still trucking along. Her people changed her food to that cheapo crap you get at Target and viola! the cat started growing hair again and perking up. He looks very healthy now. Sometimes that ‘healthy’ food just isn’t necessary anymore. And frankly, feed him the stuff that tastes good but is bad for him…he’s earned it.

  193. Well….ours is 18 and still truckin’ along. He does the 5 “ings” and he has his own room. (Because he can’t trusted to find his way aroung the house at night. Yes, our cat has kitty alzheimer’s.) So Posey’s got a couple more years in him.

  194. We should start a club.
    I have a 21 year old tortie who is skin and bones, sleeps 23.75 hours a day, has a broken purrer, staggers around when she IS awake, and possibly has dementia. She has been to the vet 2x in the past 2 weeks, once in the middle of the night because she fell *splat* off the bed and couldn’t get up. I thought that was it, but she rallied. I can’t tell if she sleeps with her eyes open tho.

  195. 16 is just not THAT old. My sister-in-law’s cat was 22 when they finally had to have her put to sleep. Posey will let you know when she is ready to go. And at that point you won’t be able to deny it.

  196. Wow, that’s some cat. I think my dog comes from the same place, because he’s like 15 and he’s already outlived one of my cats and my other dog… who were both younger than him. Honestly, I think he’s a living Rick Roll.

  197. I cat sit a 20 yr old cat who has been on thyroid meds as long as I’ve known her 6+ yrs now.
    Posey looks like an older cat with a thyroid issue and is taking meds for it, I think he looks better than he did a while back when you blogged about taking him to the vet.

    and yes, he’s loving on you, runs toward you when you run the can opener, pooping, peeing and drinking alright, he’s NOT ready for the big sleep. He may even be happy, and relatively healthy right up until he suddenly passes calmly in his sleep of natural causes. (which when it’s happened to any of my pets, I’m sad that they’re gone, but blessed that a calm passing at home or natural causes was something they were able to have.)

  198. I have to tell you, Jenny, that I lost my 12 year old, Smoky on Monday morning in the wee-smalls. He died in my arms. I was able to read this and laugh, a lot. Thank you so much for that. Losing an animal is never easy and he’d been sick for a long time but was fine with his medication. It was just a very quick bad day and then a heart attack. I hope that when it is time for Posey to meet Kitteh Jesus that it happens quickly and easily and that no hammers are involved, VICTOR.

  199. I live on a farm, and have all my life. Many pets have come and gone over the years.

    In college I had a hamster that lived to be nearly 5 years old.

    I recently lost a 13 year old cat and am still horribly upset about his loss. He seemed awful young to lose.

    I’m a major softie so I don’t find many of these stories funny, but wanted to post about something helpful.

    I have an old man cat as well. He had bad breath and was doing poorly. I looked in his mouth and it wasn’t pretty.

    If you don’t take your pets to the vet for costly dentals (dangerous, too), do consider giving them a dental rinse, as most pets start developing tartar issues around age 3.

    It’s cheap, easy, and the pepperminty breath is nice. Look for one without propolyene glycol and grain alcohol, as no pets need those things.

    All you do is add it to their water. Easier than brushing, that’s for sure.

  200. My Macha (Elder Bitch-Kitty) and Xamot (Terrible Counter-God) both were/are eye-open sleepers. This may be a skill that all kitties have.
    It is made of freaky awesome, though.

  201. Posey is really just an incognito alien reporting back to home all the crazy findings from his earth family… Like a Cat ALF!! He’ll out live us all, or get picked up by the mothership!!

  202. Oh my god! I’m going thru this exact thing toDAY! Milkway is 14 and this morning I swear she was slipping into the light. My 8 year old and – cried, laid her on a soft pillow, told her we loved her and left for the day. I just walked in and I’ll be damned if she and jesus didn’t work out a deal! She’s sitting in the sunny window happy as you please, and jumped down to her food when I walked in as if to say, “oh ye of little faith!”

  203. Aw, Posey’s fine. Soak a washcloth in hot, hot water and wring it all the way out and rub him all over really well with it, backward and forward. He will think he’s a kitten and his mommy is licking him with her big, giant tongue. He will be in heaven. He’ll look younger afterward, too—it’s like a face-lift for cats.

  204. Our 13-year-old min-pin died of a uterine infection last July, and after that, I told the cats they were never allowed to die. Ever.

  205. I have a cat who is allergic to herself and the allergy pills the vet gave did nothing for her. She would get so bad she would rip out her own fur, and yes the mucus. She has sneezing fits so bad I sometimes wonder how she can even breath. What worked for her is a bath using baby soap, just once every two weeks, it wasn’t a cure all but it did help with the fur pulling. For the allergy/sneezing try a half dose of children’s bennadryl.

  206. Aww, I think he looks pretty good for 15. If he’s doing the five INGs without any problem and the vet says he’s fine, then he’s fine. My family’s first cat, whom my parents adopted before I was even born, lived eighteen years before shuffling off her mortal coil after putting up a valiant fight against thyroid cancer. I still think that if it wasn’t for her stupid, mutating cells she could have lived forever. She was still running around outside and catching birds at Posey’s age.

  207. Both my cat and myself have been known to sleep with our eyes open since forever. He, at least, has a nictitating membrane that’s usually mostly closed, but it does give him a very creepy, demony eyes look (he also snores a bit, so you can totally tell he’s sleeping and not dead). I, on the other hand, have scared parents, roomates and boyfriends into shaking me awake “just to make sure you’re ok.” Apparently I sometimes breath really shallowly while I’m asleep, especially if I’m laying on my back (it’s possible I have sleep apnea like my dad, but I don’t do the snoring part… yet).

    As for elderly kitties, my first cat was a few years older than me, and lived to be about 17 or 18, and aside from a little arthritis (he couldn’t reach around to clean his back in his later years, so his fur got kind of weird around his haunches) was perfectly fine until he finally just didn’t want to get up one day. He died in his sleep that evening, after a day full of cuddles and treats. My brother’s cat is now almost 16 years old, and other than a serious inability to get along with my brother’s ever changing roomates, is exactly the same as he was 12 years ago. He still runs around on the furniture, steals socks and marshmallows, and licks people’s hair. I’m always a little amazed at how skinny he is, but I think that’s more due to the fact that he’s a normal tabby cat and I’m used to my “husky” (not fat!) main coon mix.

  208. Squishy and I made this for you using an incredibly complicated app. Or not. I mean, we used an app. But it wasn’t complicated. Except that my fingers were too fat to easily expand and shrink the animals. We made it work though. And we were sure to include Posey. He was even the right color. Or close enough for what counts to a dead cat who isn’t dead. He’s outside chillin’ with Beyonce and the flying pig. Only our pig didn’t have wings. And the background had to be a farm field. But we tried.

  209. I LOVE you. This was a conversation I could have had with my husband. And probably will, our cat George is 14, right now he has a good balance of ings 🙂

  210. He Still looks Great!! Dnt worry when its time for him to go you’ll no cuz thats the only time he’ll sleep with his eyes closed! lol

  211. Hi Jenny! I’m a huge fan of yours and so glad I was introduced to your blog via the big metal chicken story on a Facebook post by my best friend from childhood . Find myself reading through all your entries every few weeks when I’m in need of some good belly laughs just sitting at the computer, when of course I need to be doing a million other things. LOVE your cat stories as I happen to be a veterinarian. And I happen to work at a hospital that just sees cats, but I only dabble in that now as I’ve been mostly stay at home mom for past decade. Feel free to email me with any specifics that I might be able to help you and Posey with long distance-just concerned that the meds aren’t helping(thyroid if I remember correctly from previous reading) You might have been consulting with your own vet(which of course would be best as long distance advice based on a blog might be malpractice) but if you want my 2 cents, I’d be happy to help. Would love to keep Posey living forever because I adore old cats and would enjoy pissing off Victor a little bit at the same time.
    P.S. told my husband that I want your book for my birthday next month, how easy am I to shop for:)

  212. I hear you! I have a cat who is just about to turn 20 years old. I’ve been thinking “any day now” for, like, 5 years… He just keeps on trucking.

    It’s gonna suck when he finally does “go into the light”.

  213. Jenny,

    I have a story that is right up your alley. My cat Nolan was diagnosed with cancer in April of 2011. At the time, the vet said that the cancer was throughout his whole body, including his lungs and he had at the most a month to live. They gave me steroids to try and keep him alive for a little longer, since we had just lost his sister three weeks before and my daughters would be very upset if we lost him too.

    Nolan kept getting stronger and was soon acting like normal. I took him back to the vet and he said he wouldn’t recommend putting him down because he was still acting normal, so we went about our lives, babying and spoiling him for the time he had left.

    Soon he was escaping out the dog door and scaling the 6 foot fence in our backyard. One of the neighbors said people thought he was a stray, so I put a tag on his collar that said “I am Nolan. I have cancer” and my cell phone number. Soon, the doorbell would ring or someone would call that he was at their house, so it got to the point where the doorbell rang and I’d say “It’s Nolan!” or someone would call and the kids would say who is it and I’d say “Its Nolan!” It became a running joke.

    Months passed and Nolan was still with us, still being his unruly self and my friends and family couldn’t believe he was still around. I made the mistake of joking one night that he was already dead….UNDEAD, that he was a vampire cat…and my nine year old completely freaked out when she went to bed that night, crying and saying “I can’t go to sleep because Nolan the Vampire Cat is watching me!” My husband effing LOVED that.

    Nolan finally passed March 14, 2012, almost a year after the vet said he’d be dead in a month. Even in his final day, he still found a way to be typical Nolan. I found him curled up under the china cabinet and thought he’d passed because he didn’t feel warm and his head was stiff. I found a box to put him in and when I went to lift him into it, he stood up, meowed at me and butted my hand to be petted. It scared the shit out of me! And made me believe that maybe, just maybe, he actually WAS a zombie cat….

  214. Awww. Posey. Mrow.

    My college girlfriend’s cat was older than she was. The cat was like 21 or 22 (my gf was 19). So, Posey could still have several more years of loving, peeing, pooing, and sleeping with open eyes.

  215. We have a cat that was 21 years old this Easter! She is nasty, nasty, nasty! Snots all over the place, breathes heavy, and stopped grooming herself a year ago. She actually resembles the cat that Resse Witherspoon blew up on Sweet Home Alabama. She is deaf, but still purrs loudly and cuddles! She does sleep more that normal for a cat…everyday I think she is dead when I wake up!

  216. We have a cat now that is 16 years old, been through lots of other animals, several moves around the country, and even seen some kids leave and graduate from college. He is still 100% strong, snores like a chainsaw, is a little over weight, but a lovey cat. One of my previous cats lived to be 20 years old, when I finally begged the vet to put her down, she was blind, deaf, missing all her teeth, had the snots, and slept mostly all the time; I seriously couldn’t see her life was a joy for her; she pretty much never left one room, laid on a pillow between her litter box and food. It was a hard decision to make, I hate putting animals down, so much easier if they’d go in their sleep ….

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