Is it normal to have this much blood in your ears?

Conversation after I saw the doctor to check up on my infected ears:

me:  So what’s the fancy Latin name for this so that my husband will feel sorry for me?

nursing student:  Oh titties media.

me:  I…beg your pardon?

nursing student:  That’s what it says on your chart.

Doctor:  *coughing on her own spit*

me:  My chart says I have “titties media“?  My husband is never falling for that.

Doctor:  It’s pronounced ‘Otitis Media’.  Oh- Tight-Iss.

nursing student:  Ah.  I should write that down.

me:  This is all going on my blog.

Then Victor took me to eat and on the way there I was all “Is it normal to have this much blood in your ears?” and he yelled at me for over-reacting and for getting ear blood in the car, and then like an hour later he was hit by a car.  And by “hit by a car” I mean that he was in a rush to get inside the car because it was raining and miscalculated and slammed his face into the car door, and his forehead was leaking blood and he expected me to get all excited about it but I just gave him a bunch of Dairy Queen napkins and told him to apply pressure.  And then when he started complaining about possible concussions I was like, “I can’t hear you because I have too much blood in my ears” and so we drove home and I thought to myself that the night would have been better with less competitive blood in it.

PS.  Saturday is Victor’s birthday and I’d just like to take the opportunity to say that there is no one on earth I’d rather competitively bleed with, and that I’m so grateful that he lets me share all of our weirdness here.  We’re lucky to have that man.  Also, I win in the competitive bleeding competition because mine was coming from my ear and so technically I think that counts as internal bleeding.  Not that I’m keeping score.  But if I was, I’d win.

263 replies. read them below or add one

  1. We keep ER visit scores and how much drugs we used to abate the pain…

  2. And this illustrates why I took medical terminology in nursing school (a class for transcriptionists and coders). I never EVER wanted to tell someone they had oh, titties.

  3. Alright, I think the course of action here is clear. You are now starting a multimedia company called “Titties Media.” Combo record label/film studio/book publisher. Dr. Pants can be your first signing.

  4. I’m actually somewhat surprised that this is not the first place on the internet to use the phrase “competitive blood.” All the others follow “blood” up with other things, though, like “competitive blood drive” or “competitive blood angels,” the latter of which strikes me as dubious and kind of reckless.

    KimikoMuffin recently posted 2012/09/21: Some More Depression (and a brief discussion of suicide).

  5. I used to be Victor-in-love with my Beloved Spouse. Never lose that, Jenny.

    Chuck Baudelaire recently posted Shit My Job Says: Famous Last Words.

  6. Best misheard/mispronounced condition EVAR. Oh titties media…


    Danielle St. John recently posted On Invisible Illnesses, Or Get Some.

  7. Happy birthday Victor! You are a lucky man. But I have a great wife too! 😉

  8. Happy birthday, Victor! And I hope your titties media gets better soon.

    Banana Stickers recently posted Just kidding. Grand theft auto is illegal, and I have morals..

  9. 9
    Nicole aka _wideeyedgirl

    You guys are so sweet! So perfect for each other… If by perfect you mean both bleeding that is x

    Nicole aka _wideeyedgirl recently posted The Burden of True Love.

  10. 10
    Sarah @dearbabyg

    Karma is a bitch Victor. Happy birthday !!

    Sarah @dearbabyg recently posted Torturous Mole.

  11. Happy Birthday, Victor! We appreciate you, the internet wouldn’t be the same without you! 😀

  12. I think Victor was feeling kind of left out, so he hit his head on purpose, just so he could bleed along with you. It’s a bonding experience.

    Oh, and BTW, Happy Birthday, Victor.

    Barbara recently posted The Sound of Millions of Chins Hitting the Floor.

  13. No contest! You are in for the win.

    Shannon recently posted Love Lines.

  14. 14
    Steve Bellock

    Happy Birthday Victor and you should totally believe that your wife has oh titties media because that is totally a real thing.

  15. Better to Otitus media than Occular rectosis!

  16. Good lord I love you guys. Happy Birthday Victor! And Jenny, I hope your ears stop bleeding.

  17. Men, they are so competitive, and yet, they all have man cold.

    Happy birthday Victor! Thank you for being you and for bleeding competitively against your wife and letting her win. 🙂

  18. Someone should also make sure to tell the nursing student that, if she can’t spell “purulent” (i.e. full of pus) that “pussy” is not an acceptable synonym.

    Stacia recently posted If You’re Having Problems Commenting….

  19. When you said Oh, titties media I got this vision of boobs with built in speakers. Then I thought how handy that might be at times…….

    Teresa Cavanaugh recently posted Ian Tyson.

  20. Feel better otitis media suuuucks.
    And on an unrelated note, Tosh.O had a video of a little girl playing with a squirrel and I thought of you.

    opinion8dhermit aka g davies recently posted This is why I didn't date as a teen.

  21. O Tight Ass Media. I’m saving that one.

  22. Competitive bleeding, new olympic sport. Awesome!

    Shawn Walter recently posted It's here already!.

  23. I love that the doctor laughed!

    Happy birthday, Victor!

    Karen W. recently posted I'm just a girl who has struggled with life.

  24. My fiance never feels bad for me either.

    It’s very sweet that you two bleed together!

    Jen recently posted The Silent Treatment.

  25. Happy Birthday Victor!

  26. Is it contagious? I wouldn’t mind having oh-tight-ass again. If I come stalk you will I once again have a bottom that was as tight as it once was 30 years ago?

    Jamie recently posted IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO ALL HUNTERS.

  27. As a nursing instructor this makes my day, can’t wait to share it with my students on Monday!
    PS, Please post more pics of HST, I don’t like cats (dog person) but yours rocks! He always make me laugh!!

  28. Oh titties media. :-). That’s great! I feel you on the ear infection though. My ear infection has cleared up, thanks to antibiotics, but now I’ve got fluid in my ear. Everything is all muffled and there’s pressure. It sucks, doesn’t it. My husband keeps doing that joke where I’m complaining about things be muffled and not hearing well, and he goes what? I hate that joke. Feel better soon!

  29. Ear blood totally trumps forehead blood. Foreheads bleed over the least little thing. I should know, because I slam my face into a car door at least twice a week. Sometimes (okay, most of the time) it isn’t even raining. Once I thought I broke my jaw hitting myself in the face with a car door, but it turned out to be just a cracked tooth.

    Wait. Does mouth blood count as internal bleeding, too? Not the bleeding gums type of blood. Blood resulting from being too lazy to practice good oral hygiene shouldn’t get any credit for internal bleeding, in my opinion. What about eye blood? Not that my eyes have ever bled. That would be terrifying and I would think I had ebola and I don’t even want to know if I have ebola.

    Handflapper recently posted Wordless Wednesday: A Girl and Her Banana.

  30. Happy birthday to Victor. I hope your ears are ok. I hate ear infections. I get them all the time and so do my kids.

  31. Ah…um….ah…don’t women usually win that one a couple of days a month anyway?

  32. Happy Birthday, Victor… keep applying pressure. Oh, and Team Titties Media! STAT!

    LIl recently posted I Lied.

  33. You TOTALLY win, because your body was bleeding on its own without any external forces. That’s not good. Victor was only bleeding because he was so worried about a little rain that he walked into a door. Totally his fault.

  34. “Will the competitive bleeding judges please reveal their scores.”

    Happy Birthday, Victor! May you have many more. And thank you for being cool about your wife sharing stories that, while they may cause you to cringe, make the rest of us all feel like we’ve won a small victory in that weird lottery called Life, every single damn day of the year.

    Also, poor baby. Put some ice on your head, it helps with the swelling. Usually.

    KDJames recently posted Telling stories.

  35. Happy Birthday Victor!
    And I hope those titties get better soon. Although you’re all set for scariest costume if you have Halloween parties in the near future.

  36. Ya’ll are so awesome, I love reading any of your posts about you and Victor!

    Kalli recently posted Black & Gold.

  37. Oh god, I’ve had my nurses and now my students do stuff like this all the time. It’s hysterical every time.

  38. Happy Birthday to Victor – and may his birthday (and year) be free of competitive blood!

    Unless, of course, he enjoys competitive blood.

    Here’s hoping for a speedy recovery from your titties media and Victor’s bloody concussion.

  39. Happy birthday to Vic cause its now Saturday… And OMG does the ear thing ever suck. Had my ear drums rupture a lot when I was little and like magic it stopped for a few years. All of a sudden at 19 years old the worst one yet and my ear exploded (did you ever realize that you can say puss-like or puss any other description but can not say pussy, because all of a sudden it is a completely different sounding word that doesn’t mean ANYTHING like what you were talking about?). What the hell was I talking about? I don’t remember. AND THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HALF YOUR BRAIN LEAKS OUT AN EAR!

  40. 40
    Sarah @dearbabyg

    P.s Victor I forgot to mention …

    Only women bleed!

    Sarah @dearbabyg recently posted Torturous Mole.

  41. 41

    You are a sweet couple.

    “Titties media” or “Otitus Media.” Hmmm.

    I wish him a Happy Birthday. May there be blood in his eye (tit for tat) instead of blood in his ear. Joking.

    You are both very lucky to have one another and I’m very lucky to read your blog.

    Thank you for the laughs, wit and insights.

  42. I’m pretty sure I have a mild case of titties me–I mean, otitis media right now, from the way my left ear’s been crackling for the last couple of days. No bleeding yet, though.

  43. Competitive bleeding? I don’t think I remember that in the Olympics…

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  44. “the family that bleeds together, succeeds together” isn’t that how the saying goes?

    Brook recently posted Six Word Friday: Wander.

  45. Seriously, you two are perfect for each other. Happy Birthday to Victor!

    Ashleigh recently posted Suicide Hurts..

  46. Well, heck — hit submit too soon.

    Anyway, hope yours gets better soon with no more bleeding and birthy hapday to Victor. It makes me happy to share in some of your times together via the internet machine.

  47. Happy birthday, Victor! Have something a little too sweet, a little too spicy, a little too strong

  48. Happy Birthday Victor, you are a lucky man!

  49. Hope Victor has a great birthday. But, more importantly, what the hell is he getting for a present? I *really* want to know what I have to look forward to this week(end)…

  50. o-titties as nothing on me. my husband and I used to go to an internist in Boston. When she told me: “Nice, Big Breasts” I was a little confused. Then she would say it again and would motion. She would always say it, it was odd. She did it to my husband too. What she was trying to say was “Nice Deep Breaths.” but NO ONE could understand her. Once she told me a story that one of her patients actually stopped her on the spot and questioned her, at that time I told her about how we were weirded out too!

    Laurie F. recently posted Should We Take A Moment To Mourn Together?.

  51. Your ear drum exploded right? You automatically win because first, that hurts like a motherfucker, and second, a part of you exploded. Automatic win. You can use the still-bleeding ears for extra points, so you kind of win like thirty times over.

    Rachel recently posted How Were We Not Kicked Out?.

  52. I read this aloud to my husband and after every third sentence (minus the Oh titties media conversation) I turned to my husband, and said, this is SO us! Meaning, Thank You, Husband for loving me even though we’re (I’m) weird! Oh, and Happy Birthday Victor tomorrow and Happy Birthday to my Husband On Monday. Their probably saints dealing with all this. 🙂

  53. Where can I catch oh, titties?

    Geek Goddess recently posted What are Your Books?.

  54. I’m pretty sure women are always going to take the title of “Better Bleeders” over men.
    Happy Birthday Victor. I, for one, applaud your generosity of spirit.

    Julie the Wife recently posted Joe Blair: Author Stalker Victim.

  55. You and Victor give new meaning to the word “bloodsport,” which is a pretty bad ass word to give a new meaning. I believe that should add some bad-ass-bonus-points to your score.

  56. but IF you were bleeding titties from your ears, that would be FABULOUS!

    gorillabuns recently posted expert witness.

  57. I *totally* diagnosed you with Otitis media DAYS ago. It’s just that The Man won’t let me have a scrip pad sos I can fix mah people. >:-(
    And, no offense Victor, but all moms know that head wounds LOOK horrible because the human head is way vascular, but not everyone gets to bleed out of their ears. Jenny wins. <3

  58. Sounds like you maybe just need to turn your music down a little bit. And maybe you shouldn’t have bought the stereo system with a notch on the volume dial that says “makes your ears bleed.”

    neal recently posted Caption Contest: Good for your brains.

  59. The couple that bleeds together stays together…or so, I have been told.

    Morgan Eckstein recently posted Pluto is still a planet according to Apple Maps.

  60. I can’t wait to find my own Victor. Happy Birthday, Victor! You rock!

  61. Team Victor! Happy birthday, man.

  62. Soooo, after I read this one to him my husnand said I’m not allowed to read your blog anymore. Something about you giving me ideas. Whatever.

    Happy birthday Victor! It wouldn’t be the same without you.

    Jodi recently posted Oil Cleansing Method (OCM): The Beginning.

  63. Also remind him that, per Dr’s orders, you can’t give him oral sex’n, because too much movement of the ears can cause an aural hematoma, and then you’ll really be winning.

  64. Actually you are both outdone by the Regal Horned Lizard. Most awesome use of eye-socket pressure building super-soaker coyote repelling blood ever. You need to find a way to turn your ear blood into a projectile weapon to be considered as a serious blood competitor. Sorry. You both lose.

    Oh, and what better way to spend a birthday than looking at YouTube videos of blood-squirting lizards, eh?

  65. I hate it when my titties get all “media” up on me. Such a PITA…

    Jessica recently posted I Should Probably Close The Door While I Pee.

  66. Seriously? You made / allowed Victor drive you home with a bleeding forehead? Please, call a cab, get him to a. Doctor / hospital and insist they reassure you he is not dangerously concussed. Thank you.

    (I did tell him we needed to go to the hospital but he wouldn’t hear of it. Then I read all the concussion stuff on WebMD and he didn’t have any of the symptoms so instead we put some neosporin on it and watched TV for five hours. In my defense, they were all car shows. Because I care. 🙂 I’ve also been waking him up every few hours to make sure he’s still okay. He is not appreciating my nursing skills/insomnia. ~ Jenny)

  67. Happy Birthday Victor. Sorry to say folks that Otitis should sound like OH-TEE-TEES actually. A real inhabitant from ancient Rome speaking latin would have said like this. I have had some internal bleeding for a while, I could tell from the unexpected color of my feces and because I fainted a few times before being treated.

  68. i’m going to have to remember the o-titties media disease. that’s good one.

    please wish St. Victor a happy birthday direct from the tundra. guard him well…..he sounds like your perfect foil!

    Sj recently posted May You Be Sealed In the Book of Life.

  69. You’re making me nervous to go to the doctor Monday. I don’t want them doing anything with my titties.

  70. So I googled otitis media and the wikipedia article contained a link to another crazy sounding ear infection: herpes zoster oticus, which I had to check out. All in all, this has been an educational evening.

    Melany recently posted JJ Cole Satchel Bag: Bad Construction or Did I Get a Lemon?.

  71. Your blog and your relationship with Victor makes me realize how much I miss having someone to share my weirdness and competitively bleed with. Oh and happy birthday Victor!

  72. sat is also my birthday. happy birthday victor.

  73. Happy Birthday to Victor and swift healing to you both!

  74. Happy Virthday to Victor! If I knew your cell phone, I’d call with the birthday medley…but only once and in an obnoxious but totally non-stalkery sort of way. It’s important to clarify.

  75. What, no pictures?

  76. Thank you for cheering me up on yet another stressful day. 🙂

    Bailey recently posted The Joys of Insurance.

  77. We always keep score. But I’m the master of the guilt making machine, so I ALWAYS win.

    Mom Off Meth recently posted The little things make me feel like a loser..

  78. Victor is a champ. My husband sort of freaks out if I go all TMI on the blog. He should hang out with Victor more. Or ever.

  79. Oh, Victor, c’mon! You totally brought that shit on yourself by running into the car. You just can’t let Jenny have one moment of bleeding limelight can you? Selfish bastard. Feel better, Jen. *sigh*

    RachRiot recently posted Tickle me, Manganiello.

  80. I hope your ears feel better soon. I said I HOPE YOUR EARS FEEL BETTER SOON!!! YOUR EARS! FEEL BETTER! Oh never mind . . .

    Whorrified recently posted WORLD'S NOT A BIG ENOUGH STAGE FOR THESE EGOS.

  81. Happy Birthday, Victor!

    Mine was last week Friday, and I can join in the bloodbath celebration!

    (I have a bleeding nasal septum … and I love knowing people that accept my sentences that start with ‘is it normal to have this much blood?”

    Alexandra recently posted The Magic of the Bean and Honoring National Coffee Day.

  82. Victor is filled with awesome and I hope he has a great birthday. I look forward to reading all about it 😉

  83. My all-time record ER visit was due to a kidney stone (excruciating), and they gave me DILAUDID. It still took about 15 minutes for it to work, but then I was like, “Pain” What pain?”, with a ridiculous grin on my face. It was all dandy until they told me that the stone wasn’t big enough to zap sonically, that I’d have to PASS it myself.

    Oh, and hang in there with the ear infection. Feel better soon. 🙂

  84. So sorry for your nasty ear infection and Happy Birthday to Victor! The man is nearly a saint – and the perfect foil for you, my dear, I am so glad you found each other. Also – you DEFINITELY win – ear trumps forehead any day, unless you can see brain (assuming that wasn’t the case or we’d have heard about it).

    Varda (SquashedMom) recently posted Alternate Side.

  85. 85
    Christina @ The Beautiful Balance

    Hahaha! Yikes, blood in the ear sounds awful! You are incredible, so I am sure you and your husband are quite the couple!

    Christina @ The Beautiful Balance recently posted Another Year Older.

  86. Not even kidding, about a month ago, when I got home from work I parked in my driveway like always. Somehow magically my car door and my face collided mid-air. I was in a hurry to get to a bonfire, so I just rushed in to the house. My mother asked why my eye was bleeding, so I explained the freak accident, she got me a bag of ice. I changed for the bonfire, called a friend to pick me up, and finally sat down so my mother could “mother” me. The conversation went about like this:

    Dad: Wow. Yeah, you’ll probably have a black eye tomorrow.

    Me: Noooo!!! I can’t! I have to work tomorrow! I can’t have a **** black eye! I’ll call in sick before I go to work and have to explain what happened!

    Mom: That should be interesting. You can’t call out stupid.

    Dad: (laughs hysterically)

    Me: (laughs, then cries a bit because my face hurts)

    Anyway, turns out I didn’t get to have a drink at the bonfire, as I had a mild concussion and didn’t need beer to act like the crazy person I already was.

  87. Ouch. Brain fluid leaking out is one thing, blood is quite another. You win.

    Lady Jennie recently posted The Winsome and The Winner.

  88. Haha! My hubby and I always compete over who’s sicker or has more work or anything else!

    I’m glad we’re not the only ones who do this.

    Happy birthday to Victor, and I hope you’re both feeling better.

    Cheryl D. recently posted Ode to Spanx.

  89. I thought Oh titties media occured when your boobs watch too much TV.

    Get well and Happy bloody Birthday to Victor!

    Sandy@Sinsationally Me recently posted An everyday hero.

  90. Jeez..! & thought we got competitive at Wii Golf! As it’s Saturday; happy birthday to the Saint that is Victor!

  91. Tequila and I love you. Fact.

  92. Mmmmm…. Dairy Queen….

    And TITTIES!!


    Stephanie C | Seriously? Really?? Seriously? recently posted Quick, irrelevant post.

  93. Dairy Queen…the clear sign that you live in Texas. 😛 In Korea, gas stations are NOT self service and you get a free mini-package of napkins every time you fill-up/add gas.

    Jacky recently posted Did I mention that I moved?.

  94. Yesterday I had to explain to the doc what activity I was doing that fractured my spine. When I told him that I was having sex on the floor of the mancave I thought he was going to pass out. I bet he would have been happier if I had titties media instead. Happy Birthday Victor!!

  95. Happy Birthday to Victor! (May I someday be lucky enough to find someone as wonderful to put up with my craziness…)

    Stella recently posted The Avengers.

  96. My “favorite” language misuse is something I read in charts CONSTANTLY. I’ve given up trying to convince anyone that they shouldn’t write this. It used to make me laugh; it just makes me sad now.
    Patient AROUSES easily.
    Patient DIFFICULT to AROUSE.
    It is true that an occasional patient may become AROUSED during the course of care and treatment. This is usually accidental and ignored, and is NEVER encouraged.
    If one attempts to AROUSE a patient, one is acting inappropriately, immorally, and most likely, illegally!
    If one keeps at it long enough to determine that a patient is DIFFICULT or IMPOSSIBLE to AROUSE, one is very dedicated, and in need of either psychiatric assistance STAT, or a career change (fluffer comes to mind), and maybe a good lawyer.

  97. Victor is a good man. Bless you Victor and Happy Birthday.

  98. Happy birthday Victor!

  99. I wish Victor the happiest of Birthdays with a distinct lack of competitive bleeding! (And I’m writing this LOUDLY so you can hear me aorund the titties that have invaded your media!)

    Chris Dean recently posted Ritalin Or Just In Need Of Decaf.

  100. You know you have a successful relationship when you can have good-natured competitive bleeding.

    SarcasticNinja recently posted Not Quite the Dog's Bollocks (But Close).

  101. Happy Birthday Victor!

  102. I think WE win.
    Happy birthday, Victor.

    Natalie, the Chickenblogger recently posted {this moment}.

  103. Happy Birthday Victor! And when you hit your head hard enough to bleed be sure to curse, sit on the ground for a second, yes in the rain, and then the copious amount of rain blood just might get you a win! It is also fair to bitch about the headache. I’m in no way betraying my sex just because I hit my head so hard it burst open and have had a headache ever since.

  104. Well done, the both of you, I salute you!

  105. You totally win!

    Happy birthday and thank you, Victor, for letting Jenny share 😀

    Cara(Eli) recently posted Hang on, what day is it? Is it..? IT IS!!!.

  106. I like titties media better lol… Imagine telling someone you had titties media… Everyone would be so intrigued! Oh and happy birthday Victor!!

    Agnes recently posted Toe nails….

  107. happy Birthday to Victor!

    And I think he totally would have believed you had oh titties media because it sounds exactly like the sort of thing you would have

    stacey@havoc&mayhem recently posted A Moment Spent Waiting.

  108. Oh gosh! I’m trying to laugh quietly do my kids don’t discover where I am and start banging on the door for me to get them things or make them breakfast.

    Competitive bleeding! Technical titties!

    Jaime recently posted Homemade Friday: Adele, 2 years.

  109. Oh titties media – isn’t that what the princess – Kate, is that her name? – had a problem with, while on vacay in France?

    Oh, and happy birthday Victor!

    EdT. recently posted Photo-a-Day: Otterbox.

  110. Why the double standard? You can’t bleed *in* the car but victor can bleed *on* the car?

  111. By saying “Titties Media” you’re probably committing trademark infringement on a porn site.

    Heretic Husband recently posted An open letter to Doug Wilson.

  112. Happy Birthday Victor!

  113. I suppose a little competition is good for a marriage… Assuming you survive, of course!

  114. Oh, you win. Ear blood is some serious shit.

  115. Hilarious! Happy birthday Victor!

    For some reason, I had a dream about HST and we found out that…. he was a GIRL! 🙂 seriously…

  116. Do not google Titties Media hoping to see if it is an actual company already in existence. Even the link names and titles can cause the need for brain bleach.

    Seanna Lea recently posted Dress up time!.

  117. Sometimes I hate my ear, they spend most of the time blocked. But with ear wax not blood, blood would be way more impressive and with wax, people just think I am a filthy cow. The doctor tried to blast the wax out with this industrial pressure washer thing after having a look in my ear and saying “fuck me! you could grow potatoes in there!” Someone said to try an ear candle? But I know I would just end up setting fire to my hair..Anyway, hope you feel better soon & buy Victor a finger puppet…Finger puppets make everything better…even fractured skulls..

    Sam Whiteoak recently posted Scandal In The Village.

  118. Oh & happy birthday, Victor!!

    Sam Whiteoak recently posted Scandal In The Village.

  119. 119

    Here’s hoping both your and Victor’s blood decide to be less competitive and stay on the inside of your respective bodies.
    And a very happy birthday to Victor!

  120. Wishing you a fantastic weekend full of celebrations and hopefully less blood!


    Kerrie @ Family Food and Travel recently posted Guest Hosting the Weekend Blog Walk.

  121. Bahahahaha I’ve never heard anyone call it oh titties media!!!!! That is so funny!!!

    –a medical type person

    Mallory recently posted Wedding Season.

  122. I’m pretty sure that I have heard “the family that bleeds together, passes out together”. Blood loss is no comic thing! Except when you write about it. You are one funny (HYSTERICAL) Chica!

  123. Victor should do a guest post so we can enjoy his humor too. Happy Birthday Victor!

  124. Jenny, you definitely win! Well, I don’t know if I would call bleeding out of my ears a winning situation. Hope your titties clear up quickly. Happy Birthday, Victor!

    Keitha recently posted Lunches September 24th - 28th.

  125. Dude. Of course you win. Your bleeding was probably coming from, like, YOUR BRAIN. His? His was just a flesh wound.

  126. Happy berfday, Victor!

  127. Well your husband was born on the best day of the year…Sept. 29 is my birthday, too!
    Please tell him happy birthday!

  128. Total parallel lives, I’m telling you. I *also* had blood in my ear only last week. It was just a smidge. But still. I wonder exactly why we were separated at birth…

    Ernestine recently posted The Shoes' List of Some More Stuff that Happened Recently When I Was Not at Work.

  129. 129
    karen merrihew

    OK , you totally need to get those Olympic score cards for Competitive Bleeding . Then you can just hold up a card to score each other. My money is on you, given the bizzare shit that happens . Happy Birthday to Victor, he will ,at some point, be cannonized.

  130. Sounds like you would win, for sure. Internal bleeding always wins over external.

    Danielle recently posted Silly Robots, stay off Craigslist!.

  131. Happy Birthday, Victor!!! I hope you and your concussion have a great day!!

    P.S. It’s my birthday too, so I know exactly how Victor feels today……except I don’t have a concussion….and I’m not married to The Bloggess…….and I’m not a man. But, other than that we’re practically the same person! LOL!

    AmnesiacAKG recently posted Power.

  132. Happy Birthday Victor! and I hope in the end you’ll be better very soon!! the last couple of months could have been better I’d say!

    Erica B recently posted an open letter to men trying to pick up women:.

  133. 133
    Buster Bluth

    yay!!! happy birthday victor!!!!

  134. Victor is the bomb. So secure in his life that he lets you share it. In your own inimitable way!

    Burns the fire recently posted D.O.A..

  135. I actually *did* give myself a concussion one time by opening the car door into my head. I still don’t quite know how I managed that…

    But you definitely win the competitive bleeding contest! 😉

  136. Happy Birthday to Victor! And me!
    And ann marie and Deanne and Amnesiac AKG and Kellie S. and Larry H. and Aaron C.
    I was always amazed at how many people I knew with my birthday until I realized that Sept 29 is almost exactly 39 weeks from New Years….
    So Happy Birthday to all us New Years babies!

  137. 1. O Titties refers to the rash you get before orgasm, also known as “sex flush,” which is NOT what you do in the bathroom after you’re done. Media means “in the middle,” which means that your partner is considerate and let you come first.
    2. “O Titties Media” is also sung to the tune of “O Canada,” I’m pretty certain.
    3. A man cannot win a competitive-suffering fight with a woman, for the same reason that he cannot win a competitive-being-small fight with a paramecium. As a famous religious philosopher whose name I cannot recall but whom I am totally not making up once wrote, “A thing is what it is, and not another thing.”

  138. H~A~P~P~Y B~I~R~T~H~D~A~Y VICTOR!!!!!

  139. happy birthday, Victor!

  140. Aww, you guys are the Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie of the blogosphere. You should have kept vials of each others’ blood since you both had handy sources.

    Yetisaurus recently posted My iPhone Thinks It's Funny to Discuss Prostate Massage At Work.

  141. Happy Birthday Victor. Also sorry for your ears and his forehead.

    keaven neely recently posted Buried Alive.

  142. I think “titties media” is a real condition. It means “medium titties”.

    I have it.


    Kernut the Blond recently posted Loopiness in Luling, Texas.

  143. Titties Media…. sounds like a Porn film company….

  144. Forget people complaining about the “right wing ” or “left wing liberal” media for the rest of this election season-our problem is the Oh titties media!

    judy recently posted Giveaway!!!! Are You Feeling Plum Lucky Today?.

  145. Thanks for the post. It gave me a laugh during a crappy week wherein I really wanted to heed the cast iron frying pan’s desire to meet the back of my husband’s head.
    That would have caused a LOT of blood in his ear. No WAY he would have been getting in my car afterward!
    Er, um. Yes. Thanks, again.

    ShellHawk recently posted Vintage Haint.

  146. Actually, “titties media” sums up a LOT about this blog. But only in the best possible way.


  147. Happy Birthday, Victor! Hope you both stop bleeding from your head wounds long enough to enjoy the day!

  148. For those who can’t avoid big things like cars and doors …
    One morning my daughters were getting ready for school when they discovered a scary spider on the bathroom floor. I wanted to flush the spider down the toilet and be done with it. But the kids protested so vehemently, I reached for the closest piece of paper and got down on my knees to scoop up the spider. I walked down the hallway with it, into the kitchen, where the spider fell off. I got down on my knees again to pick it up, walking carefully into the dining room to get to the sliding glass door. Right before the door, the spider fell off again. I opened the door and slid the spider out. In my haste, while closing the sliding glass door, I wondered if the porch light was on and so stuck my head back out the door to check, but my brain did not tell my hand to stop closing the door. I closed my own head in the door, and got a painful lump on the back of my head, which really made me want to kill the spider. A pathetic way to begin a day.

  149. I hope that nursing student stays in Texas if and when she graduates. Happy birthday, Victor!

    Karen Sanders recently posted BEST Ultrasound EVER.

  150. Thank you both for sharing your life and love with us. You both ROCK so hard.

    !!!!!!!Happy Birthday Victor!!!!!!!!

  151. Happy Birthday, Victor! Our world is better with you in it.

  152. Happy Birthday to Victor!! Our daughter’s birthday is tomorrow and we’re having her party today! 🙂

  153. Incredible! Happy Birthday to Victor.

  154. Happy Birthday Victor!

  155. 155
    Elizabeth M.

    Happiest of Birthdays to Victor! Thanks to him for sharing you with us!

  156. Oh, thank you for making me laugh so much. My husband just stares at me as I giggle the ENTIRE time I’m reading your book. Sometimes I laugh so hard, I cry, and then he just shakes his head. You and your titties media are awesome.

    Anne Spence recently posted “Mom, my feet smell like glue.”.

  157. Today is my birthday too! Victor and I are birthday buddies! Happy birthday, Victor!

  158. Aww Happy Birthday hubby!

    Mayor Gia recently posted Cursing is Fun!.

  159. It’s my significant others BD as well.
    Doug is expecting his usual present. Thank God he’s happy with that cause I totally forgot to buy him anything.
    Feel better young one.

    Bodaciousboomer recently posted A list of bad “predictions” by famous people.

  160. My husband diagnosed my tendency to throw up a lot as “supratentorial hyperemesis”. It’s latin. It means “Throws up a lot. For reasons coming from her mind”.

    Just letting you know, so that if you want to give anything originating in your mind a latin diagnosisey sound, you can add “supratentorial” to the front of it, and it totally sounds legit.

    Unless you’re taking to someone who speaks medical-eese, in which case they will just choke on whatever they are drinking and it will make a mess.

    Liz recently posted Rebel with a label maker.

  161. That is, honestly, the sort of thing that happens to me. And, yes, even men can have tatas.

    Childishman recently posted It wouldn’t be a trip to the Mountains without Rubber Chickens, Government Contracts, and Stromboli.

  162. 162
    Paige Hudson Garcia

    Totally unoriginal comment, I know…but thank you for the first laugh this morning! Happy Birthday to Victor (so he’s a Libra too, huh?) and hope that if you DO have to have any more medical issues, they’re at least as funny as that one!

  163. I laughed pretty hard at this one….almost as hard as Beyonce.

  164. Happy birthday, Victor! You are my favorite husband, that is not MY husband!

  165. Too funny, have a great day and happy birthday to Victor. No competitive bleeding today though.

    Southern Girl recently posted Long Flights Make Me Congested.

  166. A happy birthday to Victor, and Jenny, as always.. you win.. even at bleeding

  167. Clearly Victor ran into the car on purpose to competitively bleed with you. He can be such a martyr.

    ColdBlooded recently posted Dropping Acid..

  168. i hope you posted some video on youtube. otitis media is hot stuff for those of us who curl up every evening with the ipad and some gross medical videos to relax.

  169. victor & I share the same bday so he may be half ways cool.

  170. Titties media… I wish it was really pronounced this way.

    Stephen Battey recently posted Azeroth needs saving, y’all!.

  171. 171
    Just A. Reader

    Happy birthday to Victor. Although I suspect every day with you is kind of like a happy birthday. Or a merry Christmas. Or a happy New Year. Or a Monday.

  172. A little gash on the forehead is nothing compared to blood leaking from the inside out. You definitely win.

  173. I am an Ear, Nose, and Throat nurse. I shall now always call it Oh Titties Media in your honor

  174. Happy birthday to Victor 🙂

  175. I can’t help laughing at the doctor’s reaction to the student’s pronunciation!

    Courtney recently posted Follow your heart.

  176. happy birthday to Victor…. and I agree with you.. ear bleeding is definitely worse than head bleeding.

    chemgirljaime recently posted shit is out of control.

  177. You win. Face bleeding is so pedestrian. Titties media is much cooler. Also more painful.

    Kat recently posted Making friends when you’re older(ish).

  178. Earlier this week I was sick, and my husband says “I know what will make you feel better” so he made me put on real clothes, took me to Barnes & Noble and bought me a chai latte and a copy of your book. Totally worked, as I’m all better now. So you can tell everyone that your book has healing powers, as well as being laugh-out-loud funny.

  179. also Happy Birthday Victor! missed it earlier… (mind was stuck on the titties!)

  180. “Titties Media” would be a great alternate name for HBO programming.

    Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd recently posted Super Friends Season 2, Episode 7, Storyline C – “Will Earth Collide”.

  181. 182

    You guys are so lucky to have each other! My hubby won’t “compete” with me on anything! He just automatically tells me I win, even before the contest begins. Is that his way of telling me he’s a looser? Noooo, he is the best husband I’ve ever had…Third time is the charm! I guess that’s why I’m the winner!

    Anyway, Happy Birthday, Victor! Jenny, take this saint-of-a-husband out to a really nice dinner and maybe Dairy Queen for dessert.

  182. Happy Birthday Victor!
    My two favorite internet couples are Jenny and Victor and Amanda and Neil. So much love! Hope your birthday wish comes true.

  183. Happy birthday Victor!!

    shannon recently posted Stressin' (updated).

  184. I dropped by for the titties media but I stayed for the head wounds…

    Happy Birthday Victor.

    Neeroc recently posted Friday videos: 80s flashback.

  185. The couple that competitvely bleeds together stays together!
    I love you and Victo’s wacky banter, my husband and I feel we’re a normal couple when I read our blogs to him. And by normal I mean we’d totally fit in with you guys!
    We unintentionally have competitive toe-stubbing days in our house. Our son wins because his things are what we’re always stubbing our toes on!
    Happy Birthday, Victor!

    Rea recently posted 600.

  186. Ouch! I’ve had a few really, REALLY bad ear things in my life. Not fun. Feel better! And Happy Birthday, Victor! Wooo Libras!!

    Stephanie recently posted Get Angry! This is What You’re Feeding Your Kids!.

  187. I always get a little ting of joy when Hubby miscalculates the head duck into the car. I’m all “serves him right for thinking he’s so cool.”

    Happy Birthday Victor!

    Kelly recently posted The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

  188. Is it mean that it’s so satisfying when the men in our lives get themselves in trouble for something they bitched at us for? Laughing once again!

    Renia Carsillo recently posted The meaning of Mommypreneur: Show your pride!.

  189. My wife is a very loving, compassionate woman whose empathetic desire to assist injured people is completely neutralized by uncontrollable fits of hysterical laughing. “OMG, cerebro spinal fluid is gushing from your nose! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  190. I’m a nurse practitioner and when I read this, I spit out my lemonade. Now I have a sticky computer. Thanks a lot, nursing student! Also, I always tell people that when you bleed from places that you shouldn’t bleed from (ie ears, ass, eyes, etc), then you need to seek medical attention. However, when you bleed from slamming your face in a car door because you were too rushed, well then, that’s a personal problem. It’s weird that the thing I always tell people is the exact situation that you and Victor were in, but that’s the way the world works!

    Becki Jolly recently posted Movie Review: Arbitrage (2012).

  191. Happy Birthday Victor! I think you can win today’s competitive blood contest by default. 😉 No need to greet any doors with your face!

  192. You totally win. Your titties media are bleeding inside your ears. Ummmm. When does THAT happen? Of course just for today, you could tell Victor that he wins. Happy birthday, Victor! Your blood gets the gold medal! Tomorrow, though, all bets are off!

    Jaime recently posted I think I Hit a WALL....

  193. Happy Up-coming birthday, Victor. And may the best blood source win!

    By the way, since past anniversaries have been so entertaining, I look forward to what happens to you on this one. Good luck with that.

  194. Yes!! We are lucky to have you Victor!! Thanks for supporting rting your wife so much, and happy birthday!!

  195. Happy Birthday, Victor! This blog would not be the same without you, and we appreciate it.

    carmen webster buxton recently posted Welcome to the future!.

  196. Jenny,
    I’ve read this blog for a long time. I remember a time before HST. I have decided one thing.
    You are my hero.
    Doing all this crazy shit and still having the mental capacity to post it, that’s Jenny. I still think I haven’t read this blog for long enough, but this still makes me laugh. Even when I’m down.
    Because you are that awesome.
    I know that you may be in-half-breakdown mode, but do you think you could visit Alaska? Pretty please?
    Because if I were to meet my hero in person, I think I would faint. Or freak out.

  197. ” the night would have been better with less competitive blood in it.”

    Lies! All lies! No night is complete without competitive bleeding 🙂

    Nicky recently posted Ain't Ded Yet.

  198. I think you now need to up your game to stitiches…….just sayin’.

  199. Happy Birthday Victor! Thank you for even BLEEDING to keep us all entertained! Jenny, feel better and know that titties media made my day! I think I have that… I bought a reduction bra… Just saying… (Oh yeah, this is about you… I always forget that).

  200. Happy Birthday to Victor, and I wish upon him many, many more years of innocent production of hilarious blog-fodder.

    Normally ears wins. But shouldn’t you let him have this one? You know, as a birthday present?


    Kristen Mae recently posted Defending My Kid Against Douche Canoes.

  201. Happy Birthday, Victor!! The best virtual husband a woman could ask for! And Happy Un-Birthday, Jenny!!

  202. Happy Birthday, Victor. May you share many, many more years with this Crazy Woman!

  203. Jenny,

    I never had ear infections as a kid. Never. My brother had them and got medicine that tasted like grape italian ice. I get them as an adult and I get antibiotics that taste like rancid gym chalk.

    Anyway, should you get these on a chronic basis the way I did, you will probably end up at an otolaryngologist who will talk to you about draining the ear. Here’s how that works.

    You sit in his chair. It’s much like a dentist’s chair. He sprays anesthetic in your ear and tells you it won’t work at all, that this will probably hurt quite a bit, and that whatever happens, you shouldn’t flinch at all because there’s a razor sharp blade cutting into your eardrum and flinching might cause anything from the complete removal of your eardrum or the insertion of the razor sharp blade far deeper into your ear.

    If he/she offers to strap you in place, take him/her up on the offer.

    The feeling of the tiny little razor sharp blade cutting into my eardrum was the single most painful thing I have ever experienced. I should, perhaps, add the caveat that I have never had occasion to either give birth or perform field surgery upon myself to amputate a limb. I would rate it as roughly fifty times as painful as pulling a nose hair.

    Next the guy takes a tiny vacuum cleaner and sticks it in the hole to suck out all the bloody puss. You’ve probably put the vacuum hose up to your ear. This is like that only it’s actually inside your eardrum.

    Less than a week later, my ear was clogged up again. Another round of antibiotics that didn’t work, I’m back in the same chair a few months later and he repeats the procedure. And again it lasted less than a week.

    I now have tubes in my ears.

    Rasputin recently posted Ringers….

  204. Oh Victor, I feel your pain (and not just because today is your birthday),.. The other day I ran out to my car in the middle of the rain, ducked under a tree branch and slammed my face with the car door! Bang!! I didn’t split my forehead open, but I did give myself a nice shiner! Which of course had to be while I was on my way to the hospital. I had to keep explaining to the doctors, no, I’m not abused.. I really DID hit myself in the face with a car door!!!

    Heather recently posted Barbies, Push up bras and Strip Clubs.

  205. I’ve seen pictures of you and I’m pretty sure, “O Titties Media” is an incorrect diagnosis. “O Titties Maxia” or ” O Titties Spectacularus” is more on point.

  206. He was probably not freaking out because he was concussed but because of a “fight or flight” response to his massive blood loss. Those Dairy Queen napkins are surprisingly un-absorbent. For your family, might not be a bad idea to keep a first aid kit handy.

  207. Happy Birthday, Victor! Now I know that my fiance and I have kindred spirits in you and Jenny. I could start a blog solely based on how he follows me around when I’m wearing too long yoga pants and steps on the cuffs to make me trip. Or when I find a 747 mosquito for him to kill and I torment him until he produces the body. Life is good :)!

  208. Absolutely echo #11 (Sharon’s) sentiments!!

  209. I’m shacked up with an avowed hypochondriac, which means that anything health-related becomes competitive. If I sneeze, he’s laid up with some strange strain of cold that no one’s ever heard of (because it usually doesn’t exist). I’ve tried to draw the line at “sympathetic menstrual cramps”, but apparently, they’re something I just can’t understand.

    Happy birthday to Victor and good luck with the titties media. I believe there’s a web site about it. Or 10,000.

    Kate recently posted morte d'arthur.

  210. Happy Birthday Victor!

    Sorry about the internal bleeding thing.

    I bled from my ears once.

    Tracey aka KidLit! recently posted Alien Fresh Jerky.

  211. I’d like to wish Victor a happy birthday; glad he got to sit next to an exciting actor.
    You’re lucky to have him; I still remember vaguely a post you did about the two of you getting… coffee, I think, in the car, and being in synch about some off the wall thing that hadn’t happened but you both were ready to cope with.
    A man who will give you a crazed kitten that perfectly works into your work (strange blogs) really gets you.
    Er… except when he doesn’t, like when you let said crazed kitten wander the house with your empty pill bottles. And the fact that he tolerates that is still golden.

  212. I laughed so heartily that…blood came out my ears!

    Kathleen recently posted Praying Mantis.

  213. Bit hypocritical of him, eh? Harping on you for soiling his seats with aural blood, when soon thereafter, he was the one making the car look like a crime scene? I will never understand men and their logic…or fascination with vehicular cleanliness….

    Brea recently posted Baby Crack.

  214. I do that all the time. We will say “I have a runny nose.” The other will go “Yeah me too but I have a runny nose and a sore throat.” It can go on for hours.

    Jessica recently posted Depends on which way you’re standing..

  215. Happy Birthday Victor!!!!!!!

    I had such a crush on Jackie Earle when he was on Bad News Bears (your Twitter comment)

    Just watched Dr. Who finale… it was sad but not David Tennant sad…

    Hope you are both feeling better!!


  216. Victor loves you so much he does not want you to bleed alone. Also matching bloodstains on the driver and passenger car seats totally screws with FBI forensics guys. Well played Victor.

    Happy birthday!

    Condo Blues recently posted How Do You Celebrate Fall and Halloween?.

  217. 1) you have a trump card in all pain related competitions – childbirth. Wins ALL THE TIME.

    2) Happy Birthday Victor!

  218. If he actually HAD gotten a concussion I’d say he was the victor Victor. However, I think internal bleeding plus oodles of ear bacteria does snag you the win.

    I’m glad that I wasn’t your nursing student or you would have never heard oh-titties media!

  219. 220
    Lynda Potter

    I should have read this last night when I was feeling all “bahjiggity” (my term i’m using at the moment for anxious) because this made me laugh out loud..and I think of you each time we drive through Mount Holly Springs, PA because there is a bar that has a Beyonce sitting outside and I saw, hey, there’s Beyonce and my boyfriends says “what?” he obviously doesn’t understand. I should take a picture with her..thank you for your blog, you rock.

  220. Technically, it sounds like the car was hit by a Victor.

    When I Blink recently posted Four Ways To Stop Mean People by Creeping Them Out.

  221. 223

    Happy Birthday, Victor. It is also HoodyHoo’s birthday. Imma thinking that might have something to do with medium titties. Or whatever.

  222. I love Victor as well for allowing you to share the crazy fun…

    Melodie recently posted Sometimes Dad's Suck.

  223. 225
    Lady Penelope

    What a coincidence; I read this post aloud and *my* ‘Victor’ he says his ears are bleeding too …

    Best wishes to the real Victor. May he wake to a house full of miniature ponies dressed in drag this year.
    (Nothing can beat the anniversary sloth, I’m afraid. Or can it?)

  224. What is with those Dairy Queen napkins? I don’t even go there that often and I’m pretty sure there are Dairy Queen napkins in my car. It’s like some kind of rule that they be present.

  225. You *totally* with on the bleeding part. Bleeding ears means bleeding from more than just your skin. I’m a pharmacist and I know. Plus, my daughter tends to bleed when she gets ear infections and you’re totally right about that!

    Happy Belated Birthday Victor!!! You almost share a birthday with one of my favorite people on the planet, my sister. 😀

    PS I have had an entire bottle of wine with my bestie this evening and I’m a little sloshed. And by bottle of wine, I mean there were two of us and we drank two bottles of wine over the course of watching the Avengers, aka geek porn. 😀

  226. 228

    i laughed and laughed outloud and kinda choked. this is the beauty of your blog, bloggess. long time reader, first time post-er. and that is so dorky i even wrote that, but nonetheless. i am sad sad sad because my dog died, and yet on this sad grey morning your competitive bleeding post made me laugh. numerous times. this is your contribution to mankind (womankind. why does there hafta be a difference?) And for this I salute you. (but not an actual salute, cuz that seems too conformist for you.) Hugs to you, everyday, for keep on keepin’ on, even when reality wants to kick your ass.

  227. Happy Birthday Victor! I hope you guys feel better. And, um, competitive bleeding is not really a good thing…

    Devon recently posted Fire In Ice by Devon Stewart.

  228. nope. not normal and completely reversible. your flora is off. introduce cultured foods to your diet. stop eating the foods that irritate your gut wall. put probiotics under your tongue before bed, that will rebalance flora in your ENT. not a doc, just a mom with allergy kids who are now off all daily meds after healing leaky gut. (end unsolicited advice> huge fan, you are part of my laugh therapy to rebuild a sense of joy in life. helping sick kids recover is very taxing. your words lift my spirit, help me find the humor on our often darkish path to recovery from chronic illness.

  229. I feel sorry for your medical professionals but not enough to not laugh out loud.

  230. How do you keep being funny? It’s sort of amazing.

    Calgary computer repair recently posted How Do You Know You Have a Virus?.

  231. oh titties media is an actual thing! If you get it, they treat it with mardi gras beads. or maybe you catch it from mardi gras beads….. details are a bit fuzzy…..

  232. I’m a veterinarian and I have farmers telling me all the time their cow has “mass-titties” for mastitis. I try not to giggle. One told me recently that his cow’s “titties are too big!” It took everything in me not to reply, “That’s not a common complaint from a man.”

  233. You two are awesome and if I ever need someone to help me explain a condition, I hope you and your doctor are in the same office.

    TheFeelGoodDepot recently posted Tomorrow is Monday @ The Feel Good Depot.

  234. Happy birthday to Victor! That is also my boyfriend’s birthday and mine was Friday. I hope you are feeling better and you both stop bleeding competetively.

  235. Glad you are both ok. SMH

  236. =D This is awesome, last time my ears asploded Scott didn’t have any sympathy because he has never had an ear infection in his life, and apologies to poor Victor, but I practically did a *booyah!* and a fist pump when he got hit by a car under his own momentum. He validated my experience for me. Tell him thank you. And Scott prolly thanx him, too.

    Janika recently posted I Worship His Shadow- part 2- The Cluster.

  237. Happy birthday to Victor. And I think you’re right. He’s a good egg to
    let you share the mutual weirdness and competitive bleeding here.
    While my husband knows I have a blog and I’ve even read a few of my
    posts to him, I don’t think he realizes how wide these interwebs and
    our bizarre ass life stories are reaching. Oh well.

    Nikki Mohamed recently posted Doh!! I'm Really Not That Clever.

  238. You definitely win. Ears bleeding is practically like having your brain leak out the side of your head. For competitive purposes, anyway.

    Jill Pinnella Corso recently posted Walking 4 Love.

  239. This is the first thing I have genuinely laughed at all weekend (it’s twenty to eleven at night on Sunday, so you can imagine….) Thank you!

    It also made me think of a Kaiser Chiefs song you might like … ‘Love’s Not a Competition, But I’m Winning’

    Hope Victor had a fabulous Birthday, and you got him another kangaroo, just for a giggle.

    J. x

  240. Pics or it didn’t happen.
    Preferably pics of the spilled blood collected in beakers. More volume gets more points.

    Melissa recently posted The Price of Wisdom.

  241. competitive bleeding? something mark burnett wished he
    thought of.

  242. This sort of reminds me of when I was little and got diagnosed with vasal motor instability. I had gotten so annoyed with the symptoms (since they were getting worse) That I looked at my mother one day and asked “Mommy, when you turn your head and you go blind, how long does it usually last?”
    Of course, when my mother turned her head she didn’t go blind, as that is entirely NOT NORMAL.
    Just like blood in the ears. But I guess on the upside you could design some kick ass earrings that look like tiny buckets, so that they can collect the blood as it drips out, therefore avoiding the ruination of any of your clothes. You might even have an intense stalker somewhere who would pay good money for Bloggess ear fluids.

  243. LOL. I love you. Your conversation posts are always my favorite . . . guaranteed laugh everytime.

  244. Happy Birthday, Victor. I hope birthday wishes from random strangers makes up for some degree of marital annoyance. If it works, let me know so I can make arrangements for my husband’s birthday in June.

  245. I think Victor needs another metal chicken for his birthday this year!

    Rodna recently posted More Shenanigans.

  246. Awww. Happy Birthday, Victor!!


    NATurally Inappropriate recently posted King Kunter.

  247. Thank gah you had otitis media because from what I’ve heard, Oh-tightass media relies on leeches for a cure, and oh-titties-media has no cure at all.

    francerants recently posted Lady Gaga.

  248. Chicks ALWAYS win in the “who is tougher” game. Boys are such babies. =)

  249. Oh titties media reminds me of the transcriber at my old office who had never heard of the word “entrepreneurial” but really wanted to put something down so she came up with “intrepid oriole.” To this day I think of those brave birds every time I hear entrepreneurial, and now I guess I’m going to think about titties whenever I hear anything about ears, which only makes sense because you’re you. 🙂

  250. I’m in the middle of your book and just finished the chapters about your early days with Victor, and I have gained a whole new appreciation for him. You guys have something pretty cool, along with your insanity. 🙂

    wonkafonka recently posted That 10K Was My Bitch*.

  251. Read your book because someone told me you & your life reminded them of me and I have to say minus the taxidermy it was eerily familiar…Laughed out loud when I read your post…I always claim my ears are bleeding because my daughter has no mute button…(kids should have those)

  252. Well, in German it is actually pronounced “Oh titties”. I kid you not (what a great language 🙂

  253. Great….now I’m sitting at work with tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard and all my co-workers think I’m upset. You are too awesome for words.

    I hope Victor has a very blessed birthday filled with love and laughter.

  254. 256
    Heather Greywolf

    I’m totally in agreement with whoever suggested that you form a media company called “Titties Media”. Make T-shirts to advertise. This will be especially helpful, since too many men try to use women’s nipples to dial Radio-Free Europe during foreplay anyway. (Seriously, what’s UP with that? Fondling, I can handle. Rubbing? Fine. Gentle flicking? I’m all over it. But … twisting? TWISTING? What the fuck channel are you trying to dial there, buddy? These are my BOOBS you’re playing with, not some kind of short-wave radio. We’re not calling Orson here. Stop before I break your hand.)

  255. 257
    Heather Greywolf

    Oh … and Happy Belated Birthday, Victor!!!

  256. One of my friends dyed someone’s hair purple and didn’t wear gloves and now it looks like she cut off a finger and bled all over herself. She’s gotten really panicked looks from strangers for days.

    Rai recently posted The Great Gnat Battle of 2012.

  257. That could be the best med student blunder ever, lol!

    Chewy Mommy recently posted Praying We Avoid Head Lice!.

  258. Well, I’d say congratulations to both you and Victor! I mean as far as media goes, Oh Titties Media would only be something like “after 10 pm”, but Oh Tight Ass Media- now we’re talking X-rated. See, even your medical condition is worthy of a censoring- I think you have arrived.

  259. “there is no one on earth I’d rather competitively bleed with”

    This is how I will judge all of my future relationships.

    Nadia Gortova recently posted Writing a Series: Patience for the Long Haul.

  260. um jenny….. i think the only way you can measure who wins is by weighing your blood verses victor’s blood (in grams, or 1/4 cups, or by the liter). the first one to reach 1 liter wins. technically you were winning with that head start, and it sounds like victor had to one up you by getting a larger surface hole area for the bleeding. men! always trying to impress their women. when does it end?!

  261. I’d like everyone to join me in wishing Victor a very happy birthday! May he have many more! Cheers Victor! I raise a glass in your honor!

    silver account recently posted No last blog posts to return..

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