March 2013 – Page 2 – The Bloggess

This isn't a real post. As usual.

I’m still on tour and today I’m in Cincinnati. Come see me? It’s my first time in Cincinatti and I asked if I could go on WKRP to talk about the book but I was told that WKRP never really existed, which I think is code for “They don’t want you, Jenny.” Also, now I can’tContinue reading “This isn't a real post. As usual.”

My New Year's Resolution is to get you to stop asking about my New Year's Resolution.

Today I’m on book tour in Dayton. Come see me? Please? While I’m away I’m leaving you with Golden-Oldies, aka reruns. But they’re old enough that they’re almost new again. Sort of. ************ People keep asking me what my New Year’s resolutions are and I tell them that I don’t have any and then theyContinue reading “My New Year's Resolution is to get you to stop asking about my New Year's Resolution.”

Ferris Mewler, self-proclaimed Fabio of cats

Today I’m on book tour in Louisville. Come see me? Please? And while I’m gone I’m celebrating here with reminders of the past, aka reruns. YOU ARE WELCOME. ************ Obligatory pictures of my cat: Ferris Mewler: “I am trying to seduce you. Is it working?” me: “No. It’s not working. Because I’m married. And you’reContinue reading “Ferris Mewler, self-proclaimed Fabio of cats”

Thank you!

EEEEEEEE. That is the sound of a hamster being squeezed too tightly by a three-year-old. It is also the sound I’m making after finding out that your tremendous support of the paperback version of my book (which came out last week) is now #5 on the NYT paperback list. I am so incredibly lucky to haveContinue reading “Thank you!”

It was on Wikipedia so it must be true.

Conversation in the car with my husband: me: I can’t understand you when you’re mumbling like the Hamburglar. Victor: The Hamburglar didn’t mumble. He said “Robble-Robble.” me: Yeah. And that’s incoherent mumbling. Victor: No. It’s him saying what he’s doing. He’s robbing you. Of hamburgers. me: Oh my God. Victor: You just now got that,Continue reading “It was on Wikipedia so it must be true.”

Follow your dreams. Unless they're dreams about making out with yourself. Those are weird. You probably need therapy.

Victor: You know what’s weird? Last night I had a dream I was Homer from The Odyssey. me: You know what’s really weird? Last night I had a sex dream about Homer from The Simpsons. Victor: We are this close to getting our shit together.