Ferris Mewler, self-proclaimed Fabio of cats

Today I’m on book tour in Louisville.  Come see me?  Please?

And while I’m gone I’m celebrating here with reminders of the past, aka reruns.  YOU ARE WELCOME.

************

Obligatory pictures of my cat:

Ferris Mewler: "Rowr."

Ferris  Mewler:  “I am trying to seduce you. Is it working?”

me:  “No. It’s not working. Because I’m married.  And you’re a *cat*.”

Ferris Mewler: “You’ll come around eventually.  I’m like a damn Adonis.”

me: “Please stop this.  You’re making us all uncomfortable.”

Ferris Mewler: “I am the Eric Northman of Cats.  Worship me.”

me: “You’re not allowed to watch True Blood anymore.”

"What the FUCK, lady?"

 

UPDATED:  Several of you are not big vampire fans and are confusing True Blood’s Eric Northman with South Park’s Eric Cartman.  Which is ridiculous, because why would my cat pretend to be a cartoon character?  That’s fucking ludicrous, y’all.

It's sort of uncanny. Plus, Ferris' fangs are real. AND he has six nipples. And one time he got into my rainy-day crafts drawer and was covered in glitter for *weeks*. My cat is totally the next sexy vampire.

Someone get my cat an agent.

75 thoughts on “Ferris Mewler, self-proclaimed Fabio of cats

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Your cat completely does Eric Northman better than Eric Northman. My cat is usually too busy trying to seduce the dog to bother practicing his wiles on me.

  2. I live Ferris. He’s like the sexist cat alive. Why is there no nudie calendar of him?!? Get Hugh Hefner on the phone! He needs to produce this!!

  3. I remember this post! Love it!! Good luck on tour, Jenny!! I want to come see you since you are coming reasonably close to me a couple of times, but, alas, mommy duties call. 🙁

  4. Your cat really DOES Eric Northman better than Eric Northman… I think my cat is in love with your cat, I’m now suddenly worried she’ll run of and turn vampire 🙁

  5. As the agent bursts through the door with a pouch of Tender Vittles (that magically says “Fresh” (yup, I’m THAT old)) saying, “This is my client. Somebody get this pussy some cat.”

  6. Why that’s just ridicu– wait, wait, omigosh, YES —
    I AM attracted to your cat — AND Eric Northman — cats AND vampires!
    And maybe even…vampire cats!

  7. Please say you photoshopped the bag of veggies onto the cat. Otherwise, how did you get him to stay there when you placed the veggies on him? My cat would be “awww hell no” followed by some claw swipes at me if I tried that.

  8. I totally wanted to see you in Louisville, it’s only a 2 hour drive for me. But then, like my family and everything…so…have a great time! The River City is awesome. If you’re looking for non-chain food and drinks check out this place. Awesome. http://www.northendcafe.com/

  9. All the best for your book tour.
    Btw, your cat is doing a great jog of hitting on you. Lovely comparison drawn up

  10. And right after this was taken Ferris tore the bag of frozen veggies to pieces flinging corn all over the damn place. Only to be found months later molded to the floor. Brilliant. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

  11. I’m really excited to hear you are in Louisville today, because that means you’ll be in DAYTON tomorrow :):)

  12. Ferris Mewler, you’re such a trollop.

    At least you don’t have to holler “no humping your brother!! We have company!” Sigh. Dogs are gross creatures.

  13. I’m coming out to see you tomorrow! You may not remember me, but a year or so ago I invited you to my teepee-burrito rainbow wedding. Bringing my ridiculous husband with me too. So excited!

  14. extra Brownie Points for his name.
    one of my English professors had an Emily Bronte and a Willa Cathair. Emily bit my professor, had a seizure, and died. Her remains were then sent to screened for rabies. Results were negative. my professor got a rabies booster, then another cat.

  15. Reminds me of when I got my cat fixed several years ago. He was… ahem… well-endowed. The nurses at the Vet’s office even said, “Oh, that’s a shame!” when they saw what he would be missing.

  16. DON’T let Ferris Mewler watch Bjork’s Triumph of the Heart video; it will be a seducing, game changer.

  17. Really, kudos to Ferris Mewler for staying there with frozen veggies on him. Of course, there is that “Stuff on my cat” website…

  18. I like his, “da f#$! you lookin’ at” face.
    I remember a comic that had two frames:
    First was of a dog saying, “He brings me food and water EVERY day. He must be a god.”
    Second was of a cat saying, “he brings me food and water EVERY day. I must be a god.”
    “Nuff said.

    Jason
    The Cheeky Daddy

  19. Ferris has taken smizing to a whole new smoldery level with those eyes. Damn cat!

    Did he spend hours practicing Tyra’s techniques after watching a Top Model marathon? Or was he just born a vampirey model?

  20. Altbough you make some compelling arguments, I still think Eric Northman does a better impression. After all, Ferris has a far too hairy chest and word on the street is he can’t shake the catnip addiction.

  21. Woo Hoo! Can’t wait to see you tonight! You’re getting me out of working on the remodel of our bathroom … My hubby will be putting tile down without me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  22. I’m waiting in line to get my book signed by you- I’m the short chick in the leather jacket that asked about the life-size Beyonces.

    You changed my life. Thank you.

  23. I think you have it the wrong way around. The bloke is doing an imitation of your cat: such is Ferris’ fame and allure.

  24. Why is this so funny? And why am I kind of turned on by a cat? I like you less for making me think this way…

  25. This is exactly why I’m not allowed to have animals. I mean, c’mon, I’ve got 3 kids and the one time I tried to get one to dress up like a dinosaur so I could film a godzilla movie. But nooooo he wouldn’t cooperate. Oh well, I guess that’s what action figures are for, right? You have your dead animals, I have action figures… And firefly ones to boot!

  26. You get me.
    It’s like Jerry Maguire…You complete me.
    I don’t know what I would do at work without you…
    I am officially your pimp because of this post. I am pimping you to all that I know…

    Love,
    Your biggest fan

    PS. I need a life size poster of you to go on my wall. Please and thank you.

  27. Technically, if he has six nipples, he’s a transgender cat. Not sure whether that makes it more or less awkward.

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