This has been the shittiest week ever and so instead of publishing a real post today I’m just sharing a video of my cat (Ferris Mewler) who is currently practicing rolling over. Because cats doing dog tricks make me feel less stabby.
FERRIS, ROLL OVER:
Also, spellcheck just tried to autocorrect “less stabby” to “less shabby“.
Oh spellcheck, it’s like you’ve never even met me.
Well, if you want, you can read about the tea that got me drunk (sort of, kind of, maybe?). http://bit.ly/19aR0wB
“Stabby” is EXACTLY what I am feeling like tonight.
Well, this ought to be right down your alley then, too bad it looks like most of these are not for sale. Victor would have been able to get you one to cheer you up if they were.
http://io9.com/the-worlds-most-awkward-taxidermy-509470092
Sorry about the shitty week. But woohoo for cute cat videos! One of our cats likes to chase her tail, and I’ve got a great video of her doing it in a laundry basket!
Cat antics cure everything – which is why I have a kitten.
Yes, amen to shitty week!! And my phone tried to correct shitty to shite, dann, it’s SO proper!!!
Something about this week screams awful and stabby. Hope your next week gets better
okay here’s the deal. I have a list of people that honestly NEED stabbing. You take care of my list….I take care of your list. Bada Bing Bada Boom! There is peace in the kingdom again!
And while you are *cough cough* running my errands, Ferris can come have a play date with my cat Diesel.
saw that this morning on my youtube feed… made me smile.
I am a huge fan of your book, but also, here’s an amazing cat site for cat people out there.
http://catmoji.com/
Shitty weeks all round. Maybe if we all think really hard, next week’ll be better. Or maybe someone horrible will spontaneously combust.
Win/win, really.
My autocorrect fail of the week had me saying I would “pussy” rather than pray for my friend.
Have you seen this? Watch the whole thing – it starts off slow and just gets better and better…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5qnHTJhS6Q P.S. Watch the guy dressed as a tiger in the back.
There is nothing like a cat doing tricks to make a shitty week better. Cats are cool like that 🙂
Music and Ferris!!! Yes it has been one of the shittier weeks. We made it though!!!!!
I am about to pop a little Xanax, it being Friday I have earned it this week and I have been having an anxiety attack since 7:45 am. The spell check/auto correct shit on my phone changes Xanax to Canadian. So every time you see the word Canadian, substitute Xanax.
It must have been that kind of week. I’m consoling myself watching Josh Homme and QOTSA and drinking a really strong beer. And laughing at my bombay cat meowing to Josh Homme’s singing.
Stop, Drop & Kitty.
Aaaaand here’s Kitty Perry with her head stuck in a tissue box. You’re welcome.
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=kvRCaZO5Avo&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DkvRCaZO5Avo
Gawd, what is it with everyone having a shitty week? Is Mercury in retrograde? Or is Jupiter not aligned with Mars or whatever the fuck is supposed to happen so we’re not all stabby? I wish something would align somewhere- even if it’s just my steering column…
Week from hell is right.
I’m sorry you’re having a shitty week … if it makes you feel any better… at least you don’t have a pimple the size of mount Rushmore on your face like me 😐
*whispers:* If you build it (a cardboard box), they will come.
You are much loved. Sending you and Hailey hugs. ?
Hm. That wasn’t a question. It was ?
Shitty Week, ok, I just moved back home with my Mother, I am 49 fucking years old, and the only book I can find in all my boxes is yours…I love you, you have kept me sane, you are amazing, please never leave me or us, or the internets!
Everyone should watch cat videos when they have a shitty week. Or Doctor Who reruns. I especially like the ones from 2006ish set in the near future like oh, say, 2012.
I would think that stabby WOULD be the autocorrect. Is that wrong of me?
NOT A QUESTION WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!???!!!
Perhaps a Nutella Martini would cheer you up? http://crazyadventuresinparenting.com/2013/05/how-to-make-a-nutella-martini.html
Sorry it’s been a shitty week for you, sweetie. Huge hugs.
Well, if you’d like to die of boredom, you can watch this guy talk about different kinds of fishing poles. That’s a pretty painful way to die, though. I wouldn’t suggest watching this.
You’re welcome.
How about giant cats in boxes? http://youtu.be/J11uu8L8FTY I’ve really amused by killer death kitties acting like my kitten. Or maybe my kitten is really a killer death kitty?
I’m sorry you’re having a rough week…I agree with the above commenter… It is so way in the planetary alignment! Swear to god!
I need more Ferris Mewler, I have had quite a stabby day too…. Bring him on.
I’m sorry your week sucked.
I got a new kitten. His name is Gordon.
You can go here to see a couple of cute photos.
http://groupthink.jezebel.com/i-went-kitten-crazy-509682089
My son told me yesterday if I knew that when a person farts in the tub it makes bubbles. (He’s 7.)
I wouldn’t even post that, but my husband is convinced that fart humor is ALWAYS funny.
Hope you feel better.
Hell weeks all around. Now we all need a round.
Perhaps I would be less stabby if I had a cat of my own … Wonder if my hubby will fall for it?
Obviously, the week has sucked for many of us – and you’ve shared Ferris Mewler to cheer us up!
I can’t agree enough that this is the shittiest week ever. I had to put my fur baby to sleep on Tuesday, she was only 7, and it was beyond unexpected.
I so want to see the autocorrect dictionary penned by you.
This week started out AMAZING… my husband got an interview at a school in a Northern California coastal town that we have been DREAMING of moving to for years! We were in heaven at the prospect of our dream coming true. He had a fantastic chance of being offered the job, too! But then we found out how much of a pay cut he would be taking… HOLY SHIT BALLS, they pay their teachers less than Starbucks pays their managers. Seriously folks, we were floored! There was absolutely no way that we would be able to afford the move with that… or start saving to buy a freaking out!
In one week our dreams were coming true and then crushed. It was our chance to get out of here. Now we’re stuck. I am so freaking sad that there is no word to adequately describe it.
I hope things get better for you <3
You’re not alone in having a craptastic week. Praise cats and random weirdness for saving people like us.
I could send you a video of Arnold-the-cat carrying around an Angry Bird hat. (The red bird) He carries it around, calling out to me. Then he drops it at my feet,
This has been the crappiest week ever!!!
The bad week thing is going around. Lots of people are feeling…shabby.
http://wilwheaton.net/2013/05/in-which-nathan-fillion-sweeps-anne-wheaton-off-her-feet/
And the first thing I thought was, “bonus points if she had twine in her pocket!” But then I wondered if that was a non-consensual photo opp.
Somersaults in a box! Creative kitty. Sorry about your shitty week, especially about your grandmother. Hope the weekend brings you something happy.
Entertain you? Hmm, let’s see…
A zombie applying for a job? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLIl2ZYsyVI
A Carl Sagan cooking show? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6702kRYz4sQ
Anakin, Obi Wan and Yoda having an uncomfortable moment? http://www.treelobsters.com/2013/05/472-forced-politeness.html
A list of very bad food puns? http://www.treelobsters.com/2013/04/469-discomfort-food.html
What the hell is Data’s problem anyway? http://www.treelobsters.com/2013/04/464-generation-gap.html
Peter Jackson going off the deep end? http://www.treelobsters.com/2013/03/460-hat-trick.html
I think that’s all I’ve got.
I’m entering the frey with my own entry. Long time listener, first time caller. I’m from Houston, so your blog reads like a slice of home. I currently live in Portland, Oregon. That explains a lot, dudn’ it.
My Snowflake would like to know if Ferris Mewler is into older women!
Sorry it’s been a stabby week!
Sorry about your grandma. Oddly happy about your cat. The world is a weird fucking place. Hope everyone is doing okay.
I too had a bad week. Oh it started so well sure. I put down a slave revolt on my planet, Mingo if you must know. Claimed another planet for the empire. Things were looking up. Then this chap in a blue box stopped by for tea and a beheading. The silly bugger stopped the beheading, stole my best new planet and then set my slaves free. I tell you its hard some days trying to be a ruthless emperor. Sigh!
Here’s hoping next week brings blue sky’s or taxidermy or blue sky’s and taxidermy or perhaps a cat enabled can opener or at least feral pet rocks. Feral because domestic pet rocks are just too lame.
ta-ta
Ming the mostly merciless.
Don’t computers nowadays learn about the things you type frequently? I mean, what’s the benefit of all of our computer takes over the world with knowledge of us stories if they don’t actually learn anything?
Hang in there!
http://quotespictures.net/new-quotes-pictures-pics/shit-could-be-worse-oscar-the-grouch/
You make me bark out loud with laughter. And I’m not a dog. I don’t even play one on television.
Entertain you? I shall do what I can.
http://dangerousminds.net/comments/man_reenacts_conversation_he_had_with_his_2-year-old_daughter
http://deepseafauna.tumblr.com/
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1d2v7i/parents_of_reddit_what_is_the_creepiest_thing/
and
http://en.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/vvvpn/parents_of_reddit_what_is_the_creepiestmost/
http://justjennrecipes.com/weeping-angel-cookies/2013/02/16/
http://liartownusa.tumblr.com/
I’ll stop because there’s probably some spam-related limit on too many links in one post.
Feel better soon!
You can listen to the latest Thrilling Adventure Hour where they talk about Catoid Jim (played by Nathan Fillion) and twine. Happens about minute 13: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ThrillingAdventureHour
I can highly recommend FosterDad John’s KittenCam
http://new.livestream.com/FosterKittenCam/Mythbusters
The current litter is named after the Mythbusters.
Maybe if Ferris would allow you to crawl in the box and close the lid for a while you’d feel better.
The awesome thing about shitty weeks is that they do end. Even if they roll into another shitty week, at least that first shitty week is OVER.
May the weekend dull the knives.
Well, I have to admit, I’ve had a pretty crap week too… Although I wish I was able to feel stabby… :/
So sorry your week sucked. Sorry about Great-Grandmother’s passing. You know, even though they are gone, they are still with us.
I’m still reading your book. A page at a time. It’s really good, and I see a lot of myself in your writing (with many exceptions), although my writing is nowhere near as insightful or engaging or any good. Haha. yeah, I’ve had a glass of wine or four.
My latest post is not exactly funny or entertaining, really, unless you like food. I’m working on a post about my cat Meow-soleum. I have had many cats in my life and felt compelled to write about them.
Yeah, let’s make this all about ME. Dammit.
Hope the coming weekend is more FUN.
Aw what’s wrong buttercup? I hope the weekend gets better for you. hugs!! My boys love Ferris Mueller.
Ferris is adorable. George Takei shared this one. I’m a video Luddite, so the best I can do is copy the fb page url.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151619332321117
Sorry about your shitty week! But, Ferris Mewler’s video ROCKED!
Awesome…and so sorry about your week.
Sigh. iPhone tried to change “week” to “smeek” because obviously iPhone thinks I’m some word inventor. Wtf iPhone?
I’m definitely stabby this week. Now I’m hiding at home so I don’t stab someone I actually care about by accident.
Hang in there, Jenny.
At least your cats will always be there to lift your spirits by acting like lunatics.
When I feel stabby, I think about trying to wear a Snuggie, but then I just feel worse, because MYGOD, why would anyone wear one of those things and then I feel stabbier and sheesh I’ll shut up now. Looks like Hallmark isn’t gonna hire me anytime soon.
Feel better, luv.
Sorry you had a shitty week. Ferris is entertaining, though. Did he manage to tumble over with the box eventually?
Reading the comments I’ll add my “shitty week over here, too” two cents worth. Shitty! Just plain fucked up. Fucked up week, fucked up month, fucked up two months.
But we all get over that, don’t we? With cats & booze & in your case Victor and Hailey. See, you luck out – other’s only get the first two.
Cheers
Anything cats get up to in boxes make one feel less stabby. My kitty is a senior citizen and yet he becomes a total goofball if there is a box to climb into 🙂
Get him a pet weasel!
My cats both do tricks… on command. The smart one sits, begs, shakes his left and right paw, and lays down. He also rings a bell to go outside. He is an awesome cat.
It has been my worst week in quite sometime too. Sorry yours has sucked so hard and sorry for your families loss. I hope things get better soon. Ferris Mewler is adorable.
Cat antics fix so many things. Sadly my current living situation denies me my cats, so I have to borrow other peoples. Thank you so much for sharing yours. I absolutely adore Ferris Mewler and Hunter S. Tomcat.
Re-read your book at the beach. Suspect it inspired me to drink too much. I shouldn’t combine tequila and Taxidermy. Still think it deserves a Pulitzer.
I <3 Ferris
*hugs*
As if a person couldn’t be stabby. I would WAY rather be stabby than shabby. Auto-correct is just trying to make us all boring.
btw, Cobwebs, the two year old thing? So awesome. 😀
We all have those weeks.
Sorry.
This week blew
Thank God it is Friday
Kittens like to chew
Shitty poetry to commemorate a shitty week.
Next week will be better. {Hugs}
Would David Tennant help? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdpRJwRpo1g
(hugs)
Cats and their box fetish. I’ve always found it really odd. But Ferris in his box is quite sweet.
you’re so cute. random, but i miss your bangs. can i give you joan crawford eyebrows?
Sad cat diary, which made me laugh out loud even though I do not personally have cats due to being kind of allergic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKffm2uI4dk
Also, on a serious note for whatever it may be worth, too long for Twitter: I was just Hailey’s age when my great grandmother died. Although I wish I’d known her as an adult, I do remember her (and tell stories about her), and I remember that she loved me. That means so much. I am sad for your family, but also happy to hear that your daughter will have a memory of love like that when she’s older. I hope that’s not terribly presumptuous (if it is, please just delete the comment), but I thought it might help.
I say I feel “stabby” all the time. It’s a perfectly cromulent word.
Spell check might not know me, but my coworkers do.
I was on Amazon and right next to your book in the “others also bought” list was a “fresh, whole rabbit.”!?!? The photo showed it already skinned, or it would have made more sense I guess. It actually seemed kind of right until I thought about it from a taxidermy point of view. Anyway, is was $45. Wonder if that’s a good price.
Tequila anyone? Thank God for a long weekend to recover from Week-o-shit. Full moon tonight ….its got to get better! Hugs to everyone . Melissa – so sorry you lost your fur baby.
Saw this on reddit and of course you were the first person I thought of. There’s a lot of wrongly right in this taxidermy gone horribly horribly wonderful…. http://idesh.net/fun/najgore-preparirane-zivotinje-koje-cete-ikada-vidjeti/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=share&utm_campaign=post
Cats and boxes. Like their Disney World.
My most recent post has a picture of stationery that looks like a cute panda but touts the fact it easily disintegrates and therefore doubles as toilet paper. This is one of many treasures I’ve rediscovered as we pack to move…
Hey Margie, I’m in your age range and I just moved out of my car one month and three weeks ago. We’re all gonna be fine!
Jenny: Hang in! Shitty weeks they come and they go. But spellcheck is forever. (Not really sure that that’s reassuring, but it’s what I’ve got. 😉
Hugs all around, to everyone in the Bloggess-o-sphere.
And then the was the eternal light switch, but I’m not sure anyone but me thinks it’s funny.
http://www.momintwocultures.com/2013/05/sometimes-tests-of-moral-fortitude-come.html
Cats in boxes doing dog tricks – doesn’t get much better than that. My week was quite shitty as well saved only by my cat doing goofy things. Cats make everything better.
Sorry you’re having a crappy week. *hugs*
If it’s any comfort, my *eyes* tried to autocorrect “less stabby” to “less shabby”. Or maybe it was the wine.
*hugs*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODKNlhVW_GU I tweeted you this but just in case you miss the post there, here is it. Cat Circus! Note the positive reinforcement used, treats fed constantly. 😀
Get thee to YouTube.
Type in ‘Bill Dance Bloopers’. There is an absolute classic where he loses an outboard motor and looks like he’s mixing a really big cake, or on a jack hammer in the water. I can’t decide which; I’ve usually got tears in my eyes by that stage.
Thank you Wendy # 57 my afternoon was *completely* wasted… but in a good way :o)
I think you might need to enroll your cat in an entry level gymnastics class. He seems a little confused about basic body mechanics. Perhaps Hunter S tomcat shared some of his ‘stuff’, so Ferris forgot how to roll. His body. Maybe instead of gymnastics he needs rehab…?
Mmmm, my week’s been pretty shitty too. At least if you’re feeling stabby that indicates other people are the source of your problem, I made a stupid decision and was made to feel like the biggest idiot and worst mother ever because of it, and now I just feel sick about myself, and I can’t get away from myself, dammit. Hope your weekend is much, much better.
I thought that was why we have animals……..you know, so we don’t stab people.
Sorry that your week was shitty. Hugs? Booze? Boozey hugs?
Spell check is an asshole.
Ferris is my favorite.
I’m having a shit week myself. Have been crying all morning, better in than out.
Thank you for the video.
Love and hugs. We’re in this together.
What is it with this week? It’s been a shitty week for me, and most everybody I know. Thank you for something that made it slightly less so!
Shit I totally meant better out than in. :/
And the cat never gets out of the box–he is just like my cat.
Sending you love and hugs.
Funny, I’ve had a stabby week too. And, we ALL need to add “stabby” to our custom dictionary. And ensure that “shabby” auto corrects to “stabby.”
I do not know what happened… but it will be okay 🙂
Until it is, I submit for your entertainment a video of my cat making his weird death rattle chirp.
It roughly translates to “Omg I want that bug/red dot/piece of dust/bird/something you can’t see on the wall/ceiling/curtain/outside the window”. Or, sometimes, “Omg please throw the mousie so I can chase it pleaseplease I want it”.
SHIT FORGOT VIDEO LINK:
Xander’s death rattle chirp.
Ditto on the shit stabby week.
Everyone into the Tardis.
Ok then.y
The box of cat.
Hmmmmm think you need to think of happy things like sunny hot days and rainbows….. http://www.earearblog.com/eye-see
I’m a massive fan of the TV show “Supernatural,” and a few months back, when the Harlem Shake was all the rage, the cast and crew decided to do a video for it. The two guys you see in the beginning? The stars of the show, with the one dancing the “most serious” in demeanor of the two, usually.
http://youtu.be/7m657-K0hyk
I would tell you to watch the show – the first seven (7) seasons are out on DVD, but sometimes the level of angst gets to be a bit much. However, if you do, you’ll look at salt in a completely different way.
*hugs*
Try fetch. With pipe-cleaners mashed up into little balls (that prevents the poke-y part from poking their mouth, or your butt when you find yourself sitting on them). Balls don’t work for cats because they get distracted by the rolling thing. And little toy mice just feels like you’re throwing them food. Both my cats play–one took a bit of training, but the other is a natural, and performs quite the acrobatics while doing so.
If you want to feel better get an animal they definetly do the trick they can make you feel amazing almost instantly. When I have a down day the first thing I do it get my laptop and look for cute animal videos. My little Toy Poodle has been my saving grace for the last year she is the most adorable little dog
Somebody already shared the link I wanted to put here (The World’s Most Awkward Taxidermy: http://io9.com/the-worlds-most-awkward-taxidermy-509470092), but it really is pretty cool so I’m mentioning it again. Seconding it? Anyway, hope the bad week at least ends on a high note – happy last day of the week!
Hope next week is a little better.
my autocorrect changed panadeine (australian painkiller) to panda wine. because apparently that’s far better to take if you have a headache. thanks autocorrect.
sorry about your shit week
Have you ever read stfuparentsblog.com? It’s good for cheering up! Especially the gold star category because it is full of people with an excellent grasp of sarcasm and humor!
Funny story: I had to write about lingerie for work (retail copywriter) and in my research (because I know nothing about lingerie) I kept hitting NSFW websites that I was getting flagged for! It’s like they didn’t want me to write a good “how to buy lingerie” article.
I could watch a cat roll over in a box all day. I need to train mine to do that trick. Should only take about five years.
It was the Jodi Arias trial that ruined your week, right? Yeah, me too.
Here’s to better days. Cats in boxes, makes things a little sunnier every time.
Quickest way I know to cheer myself up is to bring something new into the house and watch the cats explore it. Boxes are always new and amazing. To really step up the entertainment, get a live crawfish at the grocery store. Hours of kitty bafflement right there.
Does it have anything to do with this?
If you are not familiar with 8 out of 10 cats, here is a link to a bloody hilarious episode. Warning, this is a gateway episode that leads to hours and hours on youtube watching British comedy. http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?list=OL2EEDF3D2FD5F8D12v&v=02rOizJMXdE&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D02rOizJMXdE%26list%3DOL2EEDF3D2FD5F8D12v
spellcheck is a dirty whore and positively NEVER knows what I am thinking despite having been my BFF for fucking ever.
I have had a pretty shitty week, too! Here’s to things getting. . . . well. . . . less stabby! Wish I could send you a video of my cat. She came to my door about a year ago and asked to come in, so she has rewarded me with being the only cat I have ever owned who fetches. She not only likes to fetch, she is pretty damn insistent about it! A toy, a bottle cap, a piece of paper, she doesn’t care what it is!
“Stabby” isn’t a word yet? Didn’t you coin that phrase eons ago? Other bloggers use it all the time. I just read it in another blog yesterday. We all know you started saying it first, though, no one’s pretending you didn’t.
Congratulations on being a major player in the EVOLUTION OF LANGUAGE.
And Ferris is cute.
Oh Mr Ferris! How I have missed your antics…. You are one cool dude…..
Jenny – hugs from afar – which makes your week less shitty because if they were in person – that would be bad for both our anxieties right?
Anyway – Tomorrow starts a new week – wash this one away (snow cone anyone? with TEQUILA?) and look forward to another opportunity.
I have two words to cheer you up. Cat Bearding.
These are some of my favorite sites – although they make you wonder about the future of the human race. Or watch the movie Idiocracy. Basically the same thing.
http://notalwaysworking.com/
http://notalwaysright.com/
http://notalwayslearning.com/
When I’m down, I hug my dogs. I don’t know if hugging cats works as well, but it’s worth a try.
Time to put on something red and get to stepping. Turn up the music and dance gorgeous Mama!
This made me smile!
I totally feel you on the sucky week. This has been one for the record books for me too. Not sure I really WANT to set a record for sucky week.. but man…
Thanks for cheering us up with Ferris Mewler.. Mischief and Mayhem send their regards, and are enjoying showing off their new cat tricks as well.
I got together with a couple friends last night and we all had supremely coprophagic weeks. Bad mojo all around. I’m too hot and drugged up on a combo of antihistimines, decongestants, and pain killers to entertain you, though. It took me 5 minutes to type this. You’re definitely not alone, though.
Get embroiled in an internet fight it is the best way to distract yourself. I am fighting with a scout master who thinks gay people are immoral and hence cannot be scouts.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2330885/What-did-The-badly-stuffed-animals-left-little-dignity-afterlife.html look at the pics and be entertained, lovely lady
Please accept this tiny puppy making enormous noises. http://screen.yahoo.com/puppy-wakes-205914028.html
It’s adorable on its own, but infinitely better if there’s a cat in the room to be horribly confused by the sound. And since I know you’re more of a cat person, Charlie in a variety of hats: http://neuroticowl.com/2013/02/16/the-cat-in-the-hat/
http://youtu.be/aP3gzee1cps
Cat gets caught barking by a human and resumes meowing. ‘Nuff said. 🙂
Well, I HAVEN’T actually ever met you. 😉
But, when you think about it, both “less stabby” and “less shabby” seem more comfortable.
Glad to hear I am not alone with the shitty week. Although mine became even shittier tonight–and I mean that literally. My poor dog exploded in his kennel. It was like what I would imagine a crime scene to be but instead of blood it was poo smattered (is that a word?) throughout.
One word… Supermoon
I love that a box is all it takes to entertain a cat. And the smaller the box, the better. If we could all be so easily satisfied, the world would be a better place.
At least they are not raiding the beer fridge…
I’ve taught mine to play fetch and play dead (I’ve got video of her playing dead because all the dog owners didnt believe me)
Really enjoyed Procrastinator. My cat wants to be an actress. She’s very good with her spots. She can even help clean the carpets… just not in an obvious way. Oh, did I mention, she can DIRECT?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/atypically_me/6230891009/
My cat does similar stuff, it’s so happy making!