Whenever I’m sitting next to a stranger on a plane who insists on looking at whatever I’m typing I usually feel very uncomfortable, so I immediately write something that makes them feel just as uncomfortable, and that’s why so many of my book chapters end with murder confessions that need to be deleted before I send them to my editor. An example of the one I wrote this month:
“Note to self: The Pirates of the Caribbean Ride at Disneyland is littered with bones and decaying skulls. Possibly a good place to dispose of the next body? But then you have to carry a bag of dead body around Disneyland and that would be hard to explain. But Disney would probably would want to avoid bad publicity and maybe Security would just confiscate the bones and let you go free? Does it count as ‘disposing of a dead body’ if it’s confiscated? Would that make the security guard an accessory to murder? Maybe I could just tell them that it’s my grampa and that he wanted to ride Space Mountain one last time. Everyone loves Space Mountain.”
End result? I got the armrest. Win.
And in other news, it’s Sunday, which means its time for the weekly wrap-up:
What you missed in my shop (Named “Eight pounds of uncut cocaine” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
- Weird and Proud. Let everyone know what they’re getting into. Then, if you turn out to be vaguely normal people will be impressed because they had lowered expectations. Plus, it keeps boring people away.
- One side says you’re weird. The other side proves it. Awesome for making coworkers leave you alone.
What you missed on the internets:
This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:
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